He Needs a Backbone!

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[@howellomaha]

The in-laws are almost 80 years old. I'd be okay being the bad guy and telling them no. They can only hate you for another 10-15 years max. If the in-laws think I'm about to support a guy that doesn't work and does drugs, I'm okay not going to family gatherings to keep my sanity.

[@lmevans1979]

I bought a house with a mother-in-law apartment and I allowed family to move in. It was a huge mistake. I had to kick family out. I continue to have to defend my home and not allow others to move in. I’m so over “being polite”. Go ahead and defend your home loudly and firmly now, and save yourself the hassle of having to undo a situation. Your home is your home. Good luck!

[@Chromewarrior]

I have a casita, nice property….. I rent it out. $$$$$$

[@TheSoulCrisis]

I knew this was coming lol. You’ll be asked for more favors and get more problems than Disney has stories! 😂😂

[@Taylormademan900]

That's horrible because your family who did receive help are ungrateful and you probably don't talk to them or at least have a tarnished relationship. While the other relatives who gave nothing are all getting along. It's like you paid money just to get hated by those you helped.

[@robloxvids2233]

You don't have to tell them anything. It's your house. They can think the brother is moving in but he's not.

[@3ddiEdotcom]

As soon as I heard "drug", "in-law", and "house", I already said NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. If you let your husband cave, get ready to dump him and move out with the kids. You don't need that drama.

[@cstuartdc]

Yeah the drugs is the big red flag. His job is to prevent chaos in his house. Substance abuse will bring that. I’d rather slip him 100/month than have him move in.

[@georgewagner7787]

That enables him too. Why should you support another adult? I've had Lyme since 28 and cancer for 20 years and I support myself. My parents gave me a little in their 80s and left us the rest. But I worked

[@cstuartdc]

@@georgewagner7787 I’m just saying having him in the house is such a nonstarter I’d rather do that than have him in. That’s another decision …to support another adult incapable of supporting himself. But you can’t have a druggie in the house, whether that drug is alcohol or something else.

[@mikeshaw4610]

Dave is right and this comes from the one had to strengthen his backbone with the parents. The sooner he does it the better.

[@ablokland]

We purchased a large home with an in-law suite and a efficiency apartment. So many people have asked about renting from us, or suggested we could rent some space, and we simply say “no thank you”. I don’t need to explain anything to anyone. Makes some of my relations a little crazy, but I don’t care 😊

[@kristinen6617]

I would not allow someone that has an addiction to drugs move into my home. Here’s why first of all, if anything were to happen and go bad, and he buys drugs from an undercover officer, or something like that your homes will be rated by the police and now you have children in the home.. say hello to social services regarding your children. You could go to jail because he’s living in the apartment attached to your home. Keep peace, and sanity from any problems that could come your way. Keep you and your children safe.

[@AvalonMisty]

"Honey...you let your Brother move in...I move out."

[@JogaBonitoCFTV]

The name is fitting

[@c.j.valentine3027]

Bwahhh😂Dave and his wipe the corner of your eye comment!

[@johnlanier3616]

The fact that someone has to call for a solution shows how broke we are as a society.

[@fishtail1129]

If hubby won’t stand up to his folks and brother she needs to be VERY clear that she will not roll over and allow this to happen. BIL is NOT moving in, period. End of discussion.

[@stephengamber7000]

Why should 40 year-old make any effort if he can take drugs and live free at Mommy's home.

[@sebastiaanvandoorn3223]

Those parents are gonna gift their house to Joe in 5 seconds after this conversation. Poor Joe needs a roof over his head,...

[@Fred1294]

Screw Joe, let him be a man and make his own money. Maybe if he wasn't getting high all the time he would have enough money for his own place.

[@TonyCox1351]

Rent out the in law suite, problem solved. Now you’ve got rental income and no room for loser brother

[@georgewagner7787]

And they can see what is it worth to you

[@Charismafire]

Go purchase a copy of the book BOUNDARIES today and sit down and read it with your husband cover to cover. It's crucial here.

[@georgewagner7787]

My brother worked but they let him move home until 40 and never charged rent. Then they had to help him with a down payment. They didn't do him a favor. Ironically dad ran a homeless shelter where the kids had to save half their salary.

[@rhondawiggins5728]

Oh, I love being the bad guy. I would’ve told the in-laws in two words, and it’s not merry Christmas. You only get walked on if you let yourself I’ve got no patience for foolishness or enabler‘s.

[@sblijheid]

Exactly. I wouldn't even need to ponder it. Just say it and I instantly reply.

[@rhondawiggins5728]

People like dear Abby make a living on other folks that have no backbone. The old saying, I’d rather give a resentment that get one.😊

[@adamseidel9780]

As long as they’re on the same page about this, there is no reason to do or say ANYTHING to the in-laws whatsoever. All they’ve done is apparently drop tiny implied hints, why would you make their lives easier by bringing the issue up for them? If they ever actually directly bring it up just tell them you’re not remotely interested and won’t entertain further conversation. This woman is sitting around stewing about the BIL getting free stuff like it impacts her. She should just sit and wait.

[@georgewagner7787]

If he has an addiction, he will never work. Do you want the cops raiding your new house?

[@georgewagner7787]

This is sad bc my BIL is also Joe and he works very hard and is now a multi millionaire

[@sblijheid]

You're responding to yourself? Do you need a hobby? My uncle is a heavh weed smoker, but he works like a horse.

[@9liveslisa]

I'd tell my husband "no frigging way"! And if my husband did not consider my feelings about the situation, I might bale on the marriage. I know that sounds harsh, but it would be a deal breaker for me unless this was decided before the marriage and I agreed to the scenario or if his brother got his act together and just needed the help for a very short period of time.

[@JogaBonitoCFTV]

Shows the state of modern day marriages right there.

[@9liveslisa]

@@JogaBonitoCFTV And it is going to get worse if men don't wise up and quit treating women like chattel.

[@JogaBonitoCFTV]

@@9liveslisa you all need to drop the delusion, be a good girl and go wash up

[@tonytoni1150]

That’s not harsh at all. Don’t let people take advantage of you, family or not.

[@JustinCase780]

Caller: When the in-laws observed the in-law suite "they mentioned that we could rent it out down the line" *Who said that they were talking about "Joe"?* And, if that is what was truly implied why not tell hubbie immediately afterward *That's not happening* Sounded like the caller is trying to avoid something without knowing if it needs to be avoided. Maybe Walmart has a book in Aisle 4 about communication and not assuming.

[@danayarbrough1494]

That’s my thought, where in the conversation did she state they said the brother-in-law moves in

[@greyfoxice]

Omg at the beginning in thought it was my wife calling into your show. The scenario matches exactly with what my brothersv going through. Sept i speak up about my brother's issues

[@prancer4743]

Ya 100% on the money 😉👍😃🙏

[@lot2196]

She doesn't sound too enthusiastic.

[@cutenobi]

She’s ready to pick up a new husband at Walmart. Lol.

[@JasmynSky341417]

Love Dave for this 🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@Heavylift82]

This chick is blasting her husband on the national level. I hope he gets a backbone to deal with that, too.

[@AtotheZ7]

It should be added, when he does stick up for his family to his parents, she needs to let him know how attracted he is to her at that moment. My wife loves is when I use my backbone with my parents. However, we have seen a pastor about how to deal with them in a loving way. One time I said some really bad things. My wife let me know I went too far.

[@sblijheid]

Something went wrong in the way you were raised. If I need to tell my parents something that they don't like, I'll say it firmly without needing to apologize.

[@tjthoma7295]

This taught me a lot.

[@bryandelcid4065]

Man living with family is just brutal. Don’t do it. Can ruin your marriage.

[@Mr_Gabbles]

Either way it’s the husband that needs to do it, let him do the heavy lifting

[@elizabethallen4353]

She has the back bone but her husband is the one his family will listen to.

[@thehungrywolf69]

She has a backbone because it’s not her family.

[@djpuplex]

Which PIA women do i deal with the mom or the wife?

[@joeriveracomedy]

A disabled uncle wanted to move in with me on Sunday. I didn't entertain it. I am not a caretaker and the extra room is earmarked for my brothers and their kids. Wasn't a conversation.

[@Project-Masculinity]

Did he serve ?

[@joeriveracomedy]

​@@Project-Masculinitynope. Plus I already take care of my legally handicap mom.

[@Christine-kq9ok]

Good for you. Stay strong. And bless you for taking care of your mom. @@joeriveracomedy

[@sblijheid]

I'd say, it depends. Some people you're so close to, it's just no issue.

[@Fred1294]

Sounds like my loser brother in-law simply tell him no. Tell Joe he can go make his own money and stop being a burden on everyone.

[@andycompton8452]

I know Joe doesn’t have an income, but what baby step is he on ?

[@crowtservo]

Negative 3.

[@not4you201]

Your moms

[@talyahr3302]

I dont see why the husband HAS to be the one to say. They're married. What she says should be on the same level as what he says, and who cares what the parents will think about her. The parents will ask her what she thinks anyways. Its a good thing to be in a relationship where they can help step in if something is hard for you but a strength for them.

[@ajfrederick9584]

Simply say no it's really that easy

[@georgewagner7787]

Right. No explaining. Just no.

[@TheSoulCrisis]

They need to force him to face life and grow up…..him being able to stay there is why he is not a man!

[@donvirts4608]

Be the bad person if you have to.

[@jimroscovius]

The hubby should be calling in, not the daughter-in-law.

[@krobdawg]

His name definitely isn't Joe but I understand lol

[@joshuabutler4444]

👌

[@cannednolan8194]

Just say we got the extra room for when you can no long take care of yourself and we need to take care of you. As for Bro he needs to find himself and become a man.

[@georgewagner7787]

No. Say Teen Challenge.

[@sblijheid]

He needs rehab. I've seen people with addictions become homeless because the money went to their habit instead of the rent. Before you know it, he's a sixty year old addict, with no job, no home, and no retirement.

[@cannednolan8194]

@@sblijheid I’ve seen it to. If you keep helping them afford their addiction your not doing them any good. They have to hit rock bottom usually before they want to get clean.

[@su-mu]

5:13

[@marcenelj]

Joe will be moving in soon. She won't do it, and hubby won't do it.

[@diggernash1]

Why say anything before the subject is brought up?

[@georgewagner7787]

It was just not in so many words

[@diggernash1]

@@georgewagner7787 Sounded like her fear was reading between the lines to me. Is she paying for more than 50% of the mortgage?

[@thehungrywolf69]

Why is she calling?? No one is even moving in yet‼️ She has a backbone because it’s NOT her family. “Strong”, bossy, nagging wives tend to create simp husbands 🤷‍♂️😆

[@steelcastle5616]

Did she mix up Dave's phone number with Maury Povich or Dr. Phil? Gotta wonder if things are going so well in her life and family that she's got time to "fix" the in-law's problems.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

The hatred towards family?

[@mamamia8284]

Not hatred towards family. Have you ever loved someone who was completely destructive because of addiction? Anyone who has, knows exactly what this episode is talking about. Enabling family in their addiction is wrong.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

@@mamamia8284 Maybe he is getting help. We have no idea how bad it is. He can be recovering. For all we know. It can just be weed. Which is now legal.

[@joesmith3590]

@@jimmymcgill6778it doesn’t matter man. Your mom made a mistake that is why you live at home still and bother people here. The rest of us know better than her lol.

[@marasmith8472]

So you want to move a drug addicted moocher into your house? Too many people use “family” to guilt trip their relatives.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

@@marasmith8472 Like I said before. Maybe he is getting help. Maybe he just smokes a little weed, which is legal.

[@kendrapratt2098]

Did she not know her husband was like this before they married? Does she like having a husband who doesn’t take the initiative when it’s convenient for her, but when it comes to someone else taking advantage of that, she doesn’t like it? I’d imagine his not taking initiative didn’t just happen overnight…

[@sblijheid]

Exactly. I show teeth and I loathe pushovers and have no respect for them.

[@lkj0822g]

People who were raised to respect and honor their parents often have a hard time going against their wishes, even as adults. But yes, it is the husbands duty to address this issue with his parents. Even so, the wife is probably going to get blamed for "turning our son against us".

[@sblijheid]

Not true. You just described whimps who are not assertive. I have no issues going against my parents wishes. I live my life for me, not for them and I go by the letter of the bible to not disrespect them, since that's a sin. Disagreeing is not a sin. In this case, my parents would've kicked the junkie out, since they don't condone such behavior.

[@NovelNovelist]

I mean, we don't know HOW the husband feels in this case. Maybe he's fine with his brother moving in. Maybe he doesn't care at all or is conflicted about it. It MIGHT be a case of, "Well, if you don't want him to move in, you can say that. Otherwise...I'm fine with him moving in."

[@countrymusicandcher8593]

Soooo they had him at 50 and he's probably been spoiled all his life as the "baby" aaaaand addiction is awful but they ain't helping him because how could they push anything on their baby?

[@sblijheid]

Forty. Take some math classes. 80-40 = 40

[@karenparker5054]

Lady do not stick your nose in your husband‘s families business. it’s none of your business.

[@georgewagner7787]

She's part of the family

[@FreePalestine718]

1st

[@juniordelgado4869]

Good job

[@miketheyunggod2534]

Funny how money turns you into an elitist. Just look at Dave.

[@acrane1100]

You don’t know what an elitist is do you? Cause they sure as hell aren’t out trying to help people improve their lives. Which is what Dave does.

[@jimroscovius]

You're an elitist if you don't let relatives mooch off you? WRONG!!

[@georgewagner7787]

No one should let an addict in. My own goddaughter became one and her mother is going through a living he'll. She even got the mother kicked our and homeless once. No one can help them except professionals .

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