healing a relationship can take time | Melanie Murphy & Jessie B

[@caitlinquinn79]

I'm really loving this video, really highlighting communication. I don't know if it's useful, but when I'm texting I've been using tone markers more and more, so my meaning is understood: /j = joking /hj = half joking /s or /sarc = sarcastic / sarcasm /srs = serious /nsrs = not serious /lh = light hearted /g or /gen = genuine / genuine question /ij = inside joke /ref = reference /t = teasing /nm = not mad /lu = a little upset /nf = not forced /nay = not at you /ay = at you /nbr = not being rude /ot = off topic /th = threat /f = fake /q = quote /m = metaphor / metaphorically /li = literal / literally /rt or /rh = rhetorical question /hyp = hyperbole /p = platonic /r = romantic /sx or /x = sexual intent /nsx or /ns = non-sexual intent /pc or /pos = positive connotation /nc or /neg = negative connotation /neu = neutral / neutral connotation

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

This is such a wonderful idea! 💚

[@orlao3086]

I love this idea so much!! ❤️

[@amy-maycollier2226]

@@melaniemurphyofficial to add to this, this is also really useful for neurodivergent people like this with autism :)

[@caitlinquinn79]

I couldn't edit the original comment- but to be clear- this is not my idea! Myself and similarly neurodivergent pals find this helpful and the ND community have done this for ages!

[@sondramortier]

"We are having two very different experiences of the same fight" -- every fight! and very important for everyone to hear/recognize!!!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💚

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Who has missed this little bean!? Get the green hearts out for Jessie B!

[@shaunaghmatthews9910]

💚 💚

[@rissjoseph5086]

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[@rachelfitzgerald3634]

💚

[@ericahuanca]

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[@chanelc95]

💚💚💚💚

[@izzywanders4482]

It was beautiful to see an honest, real portrayal of a family relationship on the internet. I think your video makes a lot of people feel less alone. Family arguments are normal - I don’t think I know anyone who has the perfect family with no quarrels. But it’s so easy to think you’re a bad or embarrassing person for having falling out. Thank you for talking about this and being so mature 🥰🥰

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

😭❤️❤️❤️

[@lornatw]

Yes!

[@BamblingsofNaffy]

This! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@madisonhewish]

I just went through a very similar experience with my brother. Huge miscommunication that blew up and we didn’t speak for months. Both of us thought we’d only be seeing each other for Christmas and special occasions... He ended up calling me out of the blue and I brought up how he made me feel and we got to the actual reason of the fight. We realise we are very different people (basically opposites) and that we need to respect our differences rather than criticise them. Being related isn’t synonymous with a healthy friendship. It takes a lot of work, especially if your values clash.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

100%! I’m so, so glad you guys had that conversation ❤️

[@beeknee6282]

💚💚💚 I've never seen a video addressing a falling out between siblings. So beautiful, honest and a true testament to the love the two of you have each other!

[@JessieB98]

I love you so so much Mel😭❤️❤️❤️

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I love you too! 💚💚💚 “slide some skin, 123, come on Jessie, you and me!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lalalalalalalala8111]

@@lalatte8294 Siblings are siblings. They fight, sometimes the fights dont make any sense and sometimes they could be handled better. However this is THEIR family dynamic and they can do whatever they want. Who cares, leave them be.

[@GrainneMhaol]

@@lalatte8294 What a deeply unhelpful comment

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

@@GrainneMhaol yep, I’m just going to delete comments like that! Anyone who can’t see that we’re both trying to own up to how we both went wrong and how we both have different and valid needs, that we’re doing our best to encourage healthy practices, who is looking to drive another wedge between us, can f*** off 👍🏻 We talk about boundaries in the video. Well, me blocking people who are trying very hard to turn two sisters who are healing their broken relationship against one another is me exercising my boundaries! In the same way that Jess exercised hers by asking me for space...I had to just not talk to her for an extended period of time. If I’d have ignored her request I’d have fully expected my phone number to be blocked! 😂😉

[@scarabrae7915]

Totally understand the texting issue. My friend group completely fell apart last year over a texting argument that ended up lasting about 3 hours. There were 8 of us in the groupchat and we completely split in two. We weren’t able to come face to face for ages because of lockdown and it ruined a lot of individual relationships within the group and changed the entire dynamic. A year later some of those friendships are still not the same 💚💚

[@kristinaisakovic1026]

This reminds me when Rory and Lorelai had a fight and Lorelai was writing things down that she wanted to tell her but couldn't because they were not speaking 😭 I missed you two, you have a great dynamic together.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️

[@shannonrachael6938]

Thank you for this vulnerability. Relationships are hard and having the courage to work on them is what love is all about ❤️

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Damn right ❤️❤️❤️

[@pepsicola0786]

texting fights are honestly the worst. most of my fights with friends have started there and it just leaves you with such a bitter feeling because things go wrong most of the time because we assume the other person's tone and feelings over some words they sent us instead of talking it out in person and being able to get your thoughts out in a clear way. so glad you two were able to talk it out finally and able to work on mending the relationship you have with eachother. sending so much love to the both of you!!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

❤️❤️❤️

[@abbypierce4196]

I am currently limited/no-contact with my older sister and it’s been extremely difficult. Unfortunately our relationship is not at a healthy place and I needed to step away for my own mental health. This video gives me hope that one day we can reconcile and heal our wounds. 💚

[@december125690]

I relate so much.. also I know she has her issues, but I cannot resolve them for her

[@Chihiro99685]

Same

[@abbypierce4196]

Coming back for an update! My sister and I’s relationship has improved greatly. We had a real heart to heart and a cry together. No situation is permanent. However, only reconnect if you feel the relationship can be healthy.

[@dog771]

@@abbypierce4196 i'm so happy for you both!!

[@mafaldaisreading]

the fact that i didn’t even notice that you two had a falling out because of the pandemic 😅 so glad you’re better and together now tho 💚💚 sending all the love!!

[@abigaillyons9724]

Aw the way Jessie’s mood changed when you mentioned her boyfriend that’s so cute

[@alisonjane7068]

i'm absolutely shit at giving people space when there's been a disagreement or falling out. i can't stand it. like, i know that it's for the best to give them time / space, but i seriously struggle with it. it makes my anxiety so intense. it's just something i'll have to continue to work on.

[@hendrike4813]

Yes me too!! When my boyfriend and I have a disagreement I cannot cope with not resolving it right away, it’s such a horrible feeling

[@Natnat994]

At least you're self aware about it! I'm the person who needs space to think and cool down after a fight and my best friend is resolve-it-right-away type. We argue like oil and water because our styles are so different.

[@lauraintheskywithdiamonds9185]

I fell out with my parents 2 months after I had my 1st born, we didn't talk for 2 years and it was the hardest 2 years of my life ever! Thankfully everything is back to normal now. Good to see you girls are such a strong sibling unit. I'm totally like Jessie with the emotions and being such a big empath! Love you both! ♡

[@issykite]

This is so beautiful and emotional, thank you for deciding to share this moment with us- I’m sure it will help a lot of people. It’s so hard when you fall out with someone who means the world to you, and it’s so nice to see you guys are back in each other’s lives ❤️ also you guys are so right, mental health (plus a pandemic) makes everything so much harder! Me and my partner both struggle with depression and anxiety, and it does definitely make communication so much harder. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️

[@alyssawolfe2879]

I think it’s really beautiful that you both are showing the healing of your relationship following an argument. I love that you guys shared that it can take time, persistence, and patience and that it's possible to work through the pain and hurt. I think overall you guys will strengthen your relationship and even become closer because of this experience. Much love💚💚

[@kekaterinak]

I think you just became 1000 steps closer after this 🌞🌞 Surviving a storm is great! So proud of you!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

It really feels so good. Resilience 🙌🏻💚

[@sweetspicypepper]

I'm in a nearly 2 year fallout with my sister, who was my best friend, and this both hurt and made me feel hopeful. I know what it's like to feel cut so, so deep by someone you love and trust completely. It's been one of the most traumatic experiences of my life!

[@Shaka6331_]

As someone who's autistic I've never really understood tone. I take people at face value so it makes sense why I get into so many misunderstandings. I'm missing out on a lot of communication and so is the other person because they try to read into my tone when it doesn't really mean anything on my end.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s definitely something more of us need to understand and be mindful of when communicating with new people who might have autism! ❤️

[@Shaka6331_]

@@melaniemurphyofficial I'm only recently diagnosed myself so the last few months I've been doing a lot of reflective work over the 26 years of my life before I knew, learning from other autistic adults but it's nice to learn this kind of thing about "normal" communication and how much of it is non verbal. People think that autistic people have communication issues but we communicate quite well with each other. Neurotypicals misunderstand us as much as we misunderstand you. It's a two way street. I've been following you both for quite some time and there's so much healing in this video. So nice to see you back together in a video and talking about hard issues like this. Sending lots of love to you both 💚

[@claudiajade624]

I had a Huge falling out with my best friend after our first year of uni (we were also living together), and we didn't talk for over a year. Reunited and now like 8 years later and we are still close, bridesmaids at eachothers' weddings :)

[@bluaurora8635]

Wow Melanie, thank you both so much for making this video…. It’s so weird because me and my sister also had a really really bad bomb go off in January… and I don’t know that we can come back from it. I was scared to click on this video even because I’m not ready to face what happened with me and my sister… because I don’t know what to believe about my sister. We don’t have that camaraderie like you and Jessie have. I relate to Jessie in a way, I have no kids, and my sister who is ten years older has a baby and toddler, I feel she gets more upset at me as the days go by. My sister actually deleted me off of Facebook. It’s a lot. And I’m still mad at her with how she talked to me. Idk. It’s a lot to think about. But thank you for being so raw and real here, I’m so glad that you and Jessie have been able to start healing ❤️‍🩹.

[@SugarcoatedChainsaw]

thank you both for talking about this so candidly. i'm also irish but i'm not an avid youtube viewer anymore so i had no idea you guys had fallen out. my sister and i just recovered from a bad argument recently so it's refreshing to see that you both have been through the same. we can go through tense periods as family but that doesn't mean we love each other any less. navigating new ground is always tough but relationships can be rebuilt to be stronger than before.

[@Natashalauren98]

Makes me so happy to see you guys back together! It’s also so nice to see a raw explanation of how fall outs happen and what it takes to repair a relationship 💖

[@saraosorio9674]

This made me cry so much, it was lovely to see you two speqking so openly about your relationship, I have an older sister and we have a similar age gap as you and Jesse and she is like a mayor figure in my life. Growing up she was the most incredible person to me, I loved her clothes, her style, her friends, I was always trying to get close but the age difference made it difficult for us to conect, as we grew older we became so much closer, and she is now not just someone to admire but someone that I love deeply because of who she is, of her thoughts, her view on life and the way she always tries to protect everyone. Big sisters or brothers have this huge influence on our identities and in a way they are always going to be heroes for us. When you're a kid you always expect for their aproval, you want to be invited into their big girl, teenager, adult woman world, and i think that never dissapears, you build your own thoughts and ideas and your own lifestyle but their opinion always matter, maybe you stop looking for the aproval but you still want them as your witness. My sister is to me "a place to put your heart on, a place to make a pause and take a deep breath", and despite the fights, just as you and Jesse show, it is worth fighting for this relationships.

[@shauna6086]

How cute that you said you love hearing Jessie talk and tell you about things her therapist has said to her/she has learnt from her therapist, mere minutes after she actually mentioned her therapist telling her conversation is 70% tone and 30% what you’re saying, and you responded to her so positively/took in that information. It’s heartwarming to see such a genuine bond, a deep respect and the openness yous have to talk to and listen to each other about these kinds of things. This video was so helpful and insightful and of course it’s so lovely to just see the two of yous sat together talking and being sisters, so so glad yous are happy and have each other 💚💚💚

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 honestly she just lights up when she shares nuggets of wisdom from therapy it brings me so much joy!

[@RazzleRed543]

Shed a tear. I follow you both and had no idea you’d even fallen out!! Two of my faves, so glad you managed to patch things up x

[@MagicNights83]

Am so happy for you both that you've reached this place and are healing ❤ I have fallen out with someone who has been like a sister to me for most of my life and we haven't spoken for months now, so I really appreciated this video - thank you to you both! 💚

[@sophiaz.1083]

You are so good at communicating about your feelings and accepting the feelings of the other person. i still need to learn that.

[@BlogManiac64]

i can barely say the word sorry to my family members so you guys are setting a great example, this was super interesting! but enough about me i'm so happy you guys found your way back to each other 🥰

[@prettyinpink1222]

Ugh I didn’t realize y’all had such a fall out. Thank you for opening up to us 💛

[@SabraRose93]

This video gives me hope. I’m currently in the midst of a big falling out with my parents, it’s been 5 months since I’ve had any contact with them. The hardest part for me is them missing out on seeing my son (their only grandchild) growing up. He will be 18 months old in a couple of weeks and they haven’t seen him since his birthday. Like you said Melanie, for me I can’t help but be aware of how much time is passing because of how quickly my son is growing and developing. This is time we can never get back and it kills me to know they’re missing out on it. Unfortunately there is a lot of trauma on both sides that has to be worked through and until everyone is willing to respect boundaries I don’t see anything changing. The video gives me hope that one day there can be a healthy relationship again 💚

[@smileyeilee]

I loved and appreciate this video so much🤍🤍🤍 It’s so open and raw and completely relatable. I have an older sister too (2 years between us) and we’ve been going through a rough patch the last couple years but none of our issues are because of either of us. We’ve been through quite a lot over the past few years and both of us deal with things very differently so I think this is what’s caused most the tension. Thank you for this!! Sending love xxx - Update: crying at how much I relate omg you guys are putting my thoughts into words

[@Anna-kx4mr]

Melanie, my life is just a MESS right now. Adulting is hard?? My housing situatin in uni is weird and i get all these unexpected costs of living or for parking wrong etc its just so much new things to handle and i was wondering if you could make a chit chat grwm with adulting stories? Things you learned the hard way? About navigating dating life or young relatiosnhip life and all things adulting and living on your own? Your videos always calm me down so much and feel like things im experiencing are normal 💚💚💚💚

[@BlogManiac64]

pls i need this i have no idea what i‘m doing

[@user-od9xe5oy5s]

if there is one advice i can give you from my own experience with adulting back when i was in uni (3 years ago) is to not trust strangers easily. I know this may sound pointless, but when you are far away from home and exhausted to the bone with the weight of a new life you will find yourself more vulnerable and some people can take advantage of your situation. Also, you most likely will find it hard not to be harsh to yourself or thinking you are "stupid" because you will forget you are learning, what i can suggest is to always give yourself a buffer of patience. ps: I forgot probably the most important one for your financial life (and mental health thereof) is if you have a credit card,DO NOT USE IT for the daily stuff and save it at home for emergencies. Make sure your bills are either payable in person or put on your debit card. I accumulated 600 dollars of debt on a credit card on my first 6 months of uni just because i did not know how it worked but luckily my partner at the time helped me get out of that in time. Good luck have fun and stay safe

[@maneskinnnnn7190]

everyones life is a mess

[@sorchx]

My best friend and I never really had an argument. We both went through severe trauma and she just stopped talking to me. But she still managed to talk to other people so it really hurt me. She would come back apologise with words over text and then do the same thing months later. After a year of no contact she came back apologising again. But this time I was too hurt and said I didn't want any more words, I want action. I just wanted her to show me she was willing to put effort into it. She never spoke again after that. It was really hard to take because she was like a sister to be. But I suppose when there's no blood there and mutual family there's not as much incentive to heal things. I'm glad you guys managed to work it out. I miss her so much and it's sad that we'll never be aunties to each others babies like we always spoke of.

[@Luthien_0]

Not a happy story, but I had a falling out with one of my best friends about 6 years ago. I wanted to fix it and quickly realized she did not. I was going through a hard time and basically she didn't want to get involved. Then a couple years later my dad died and she contacted me and wanted to mend things. But at that point I was hurt by what she did and I realized I no longer trusted her. Some things just can't be fixed. I'm still sad about the loss of our friendship as we were very close, but if you can't be there for me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Much love to both of you! I'm so glad you were able to repair your relationship! ❤

[@lalalalalalalala8111]

This is such a weird time to put this here but Jessie I NEED your makeup routine. That lipstick is amazing😍

[@TheShhSecret]

She has the best looks doesn't she!

[@robertmenzies3032]

Never knew that you two had fallen out, assumed it was just Covid / travel restrictions that had stopped the collabs. So so happy that you have been able to resolve your issues to this stage and thanks for another great video.

[@chuppiekaye]

I'm the middle of 3 sisters. This felt extremely familiar to me. Thank you for sharing so nice to see that you've worked through 🥰

[@DanaCristianaAgent]

It takes a lot of courage and strength to publish such a video. You both inspire me, I also have two sisters (one in younger and the other one is older) and we both have some issues in our relationship. But after our mother died 3 years ago, we are a lot closer and it's easier to understand each other being also a bit older (younger sis is 26, I'm 30 and older sis is 33). So yeah... Very nice video. Looking forward to more videos with you two. I have cried and laughed a lot with you both over the years.

[@kristinab6135]

Breaks my heart to see little Jesse so sad. I’m so happy you are mending things together at a pace that suits you both. xxxxxxx

[@ciarab4608]

Awh love to see ye together again! 💖 I remember your first video together! It’s mad to see how much ye have changed, time moves on 🙈 life is so short! Thank you so much for this.

[@imitationkrabbe3268]

I totally respect y'all keeping the details private, but gosh this was hard to follow in parts because of the vagueness 😂 Lovely to see you together again.

[@HypeerChick]

Honestly same, I was so confused🤣 But so great to hear their conversation and that they have come back together despite two very different viewpoints

[@lisasusanna7896]

My little sister and I have about the same age gap as you. This video was absolutely beautiful and I felt a lot of the things you talked about. I see so much of my sis and I in your relationship. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and authentic

[@AlliesBeautyTips]

I have a cousin who used to be like my brother, we even lived together for two years. We haven't spoken in a year and a half. I think he's problematic and we both hurt each other a lot since we were kids. Sometimes I miss him but it's better this way. Its like Anne Hathaway's character said in the movie One day: I will always love you, I just don't like you any more.

[@elizabethpink]

As a fellow Pisces (hallo, Jess!) watching this, I’m a weepy mess too! Don’t be sorry for your emotions, luv! We fish are at our strongest in our feelings! So glad you two are working to repair the damage, trust, and closeness. So many hugs to you both!

[@eleanor1419]

Q we

[@angiemorley1589]

This one means a lot to me I’ve experienced this with my own family thank you for being open this makes me feel less alone and it’s a beacon of hope for me that things get better thank you so much very proud of you both for speaking up it’s so brave ❤️🥺

[@majfriedl3202]

I've been a silent watcher for years- but this video really touched a spot. I cried, I laughed, I just want to thank you two! so happy to see you together and whats so important to me, to see the real aftermath of an argument being addressed in such an honest way. I haven't talked to my family in years an this honestly gave me hope, that one day we can make it work. and it was quite healing to hear how much more difficult things can get when one is falling in to a trauma response/trauma brain- i related to jessy so much in this part. loads of love to you both 💜💚💞

[@katlawton1572]

So much love to both you ladies. 💕 I’ve followed you both for years, and love you individually, and together. I cried along with you. Thank you for being so vulnerable and talking about something that’s so difficult to share. You’re truly so brave.

[@sjwells04]

I get you on the mental health side of things. My older sister has only ever experienced brief and mild depression and the advice she has given me before was just useless and made me feel worse. I think sometimes older siblings tend to assume that their experiences are universal and whatever helped them will help their younger siblings.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I think it's more just something that people often do when they're desperate to help, is to draw from their own experience...I have no older siblings but older family of mine would always try to make me feel better by offering up bits of advice from their own experiences. It's how people relate to one another. Just because some advice won't help doesn't mean it's not worth sharing, on the off chance that it does - even in some different future scenario. But indeed it's absolutely impossible for someone who hasn't been through long term clinical depression to really relate or to help in any way other than simply listening, which is what I try to do now. Jess and I had a chat years ago about that where she told me that all she needed me to do was to try and listen without trying to help, that listening and being there was help enough. That was a huge learning curve for me and it's something I apply now to all of my relationships! I still share advice but usually when I'm asked for it, like "has this ever happened to you?" etc xxx

[@sjwells04]

@@melaniemurphyofficial yes definitely! It’s normal to relate by sharing your own experiences, it’s just unfortunate that sometimes doing so reflects that the two experiences actually aren’t the same at all and we’re not understanding each other. Ie. What my sister said showed me that she hadn’t really heard me and understood what I was dealing with. It’s something I’m learning to do as well to just listen when people are talking about their struggles unless they ask for advice.

[@mirinaxo1663]

Well I love both of you and I’m so sorry that this falling out happened but I’m really happy you’re working to get back to where you were. Many people let things fester and it can ruin a relationship forever… speaking from personal experience. Sometimes it’s best to keep out toxic people forever but in this case I believe you will work everything out. You’re both seem to be great communicators when you want to be. Keep at it! And I just have to say what you said Mel is so very important, you need to move on and can’t keep throwing the same thing in someone’s face. Deal with it and then truly put it away. Great advice. And I totally agree that text messages can be misread so easily so anything important should be talked about in person. Much love to both of you ❤️

[@WhitneyKippes]

My sister and I had a major falling out months ago and it's still raw and horrible. I really appreciate seeing this as an intentional and heartfelt reminder that we may come back to each other. Our relationship feels like it may never be the same and I don't know what to do with that. But maybe we'll grow through it.

[@TheDisell]

One thing I started doing with a friend over the pandemic is if we feel tension in a text conversation and it’s headed towards argument or defensiveness we immediately start sending voice messages. It always diffuses stuff and you can still take your time digest. Collect. Then respond. 💕

[@TheDisell]

Course this only really works if you are trying to convey empathetic tones rather than just a heated voice message. 😅😂

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

@@TheDisell haha oh for sure! I’d have been open to doing this but with how things escalated, Jess immediately stepped back, for her own mental health, it was definitely one of those things we’d have had to sort out in person! The circumstances made it so so difficult! 💔❤️

[@TheDisell]

@@melaniemurphyofficial yeah definitely! Sometimes people need some distance to come back with a different perspective. I just meant this as a reply to you guys saying you were hesitant about texting now. 💕

[@choleyhaslam101]

@TheDisell some people are just far to soft and just need to stop getting into disagreements over pathetic stuff. If people are really friends I doubt they would be falling out so often, seems more like a bunch of drama queens seeking attention.

[@TheDisell]

@@choleyhaslam101 I personally have solid relationships that deserve the care and sensitivity to move through disagreements in a peaceful/respectful way. Why wouldn’t I do that if I have the option and am willing? Ultimately it feels great to come out the other end with both of us feeling heard. You’re right though, if it constantly feels like a chore to do so maybe it isn’t the right relationship or maybe there’s some self-reflection that needs to happen. 🤷‍♀️

[@jade_maus_]

“I’m just so miserable” JESS you sweet little sun spot. Love you both and the realism you bring to the internet about sibling relationships, all the love in the world to yous and happiest birthday to lil pan! Proud of you two!

[@lee_yuhhh]

I’m only 2 minutes in, but it both shocks and angers me that people who do not know anything about either of you or the situation thought that they had any right to insert themselves into something personal between the two of you and give their unsolicited ‘opinions’ that seemed to really just be nasty words that neither of you deserve to hear. so entitled and arrogant 🙄

[@Jack-sy8mr]

So great to see you two together again, and that you’re doing well 💚💚💚

[@Maplesjade]

I am so happy that you released this video, thank you both

[@niamhbrady_]

This was so emotional, so so pleased you are back together again and doing well! 💗

[@catpinto3200]

Crazy sad.. My sis and I also had a falling out and didn't speak for many months. It was pre pandemic and we actually made up after the 1st lockdown. Worst few months of my life. So weird. Gonna continue watching the video now 💖💖

[@sarah.herbert]

I’m loving Jessie’s new hair, looks soooo good!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Doesn’t it!? 😍

[@allisonmcguire4625]

I’ve had a really bad fallout with my sister it actually split our whole family in half. 🙁 It’s been years now - it was in 2017 - and i don’t know how to take the first step back and if she even wants to sort this out. I’m really happy for you two to have gotten over it even though I didn’t even notice tbh 😅

[@bluesquirrel2472]

Thank you for your honesty loves. 💛💚🧡 I havent watched all of it but just wanted to say thank you for your honesty. It is very much needed in today's day and age. I'll comment more when i watch it. Thank you thank you. Being open and honest, even if we are all different people, helps on a humanity scale. Keep searching. Keep being the higher "you" 💗

[@annad.3201]

I'm so proud of you two for being able to communicate like this and really sort things out. And I'm so glad that you speak to each other again ❤️

[@katyaflo1806]

Thank you for sharing this because at its core this is about saving relationships worth saving. My therapist say the best way to reconnection is communicating vulnerabilities and it really seems like that is what you were able to do. I find my relationships with my sisters is strengthened when we come out of those tunnels.

[@mw5697]

I've had this with my sister before and thank fully its always been resolved over time. Very important in the heat of things to look outside and remember how much you love this person and you couldn't not have them in your life ❤. Sometimes it's good to be the bigger person and just say this is shit lets meet and talk about this x

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Love this! I'm sorry to hear you had a falling-out, but thank you for talking about it - more people need to learn that things can be repaired rather than just torn up and thrown away.

[@erinmaglietta2484]

Sending love to both of you beautiful souls. I had a very similar situation with my brother and sister back in 2014. Christmas Eve - Yikes! Her olive branch was attending my college graduation in May 2015. It took longer with. my brother. Those were very lonely months without speaking to them. It can feel like healing goes at a GLACIAL pace, but now, seven years later, she's one of my best friends and we're even closer than before. Sibling relationships (especially *siblings of divorce* like us) can be land minds to traverse. I'm still working on my relationship with them. Sometimes it makes me sad that we're not as close as I'd like - but we're stuck with each other our whole lives, so we have time to figure it out. I'm so glad that you're on a journey to restore your relationship. Navigating it is tough but you're two tough cookies!

[@mackenziemaybarraclough1207]

I lost my best friend 2 years ago and it broke my heart. It all started through text messages because she was going through a hard time anyway and then messages got misconstrued and misunderstood and then those misunderstandings just exasperated other problems that we were both having until it just blew up. I asked her to call me because I knew this was not a conversation we could do over text for all the reasons you said: the tone, the empathy etc. I sobbed for literal hours after that phone call where she said that she couldn't be my friend right now. I text her a few months later and at that point, she had already written off our relationship just as Jessie had and for her, it was done and we were over forever. We haven't spoken in two years as I said. I still miss her and photos of us still make me feel sad and make me cry every now and then but it is for the best. I refuse to force her into a relationship she doesn't want to be in and to make her unhappy. I love and care about her way too much for that, even now. It is for the best, even if it's not what I wanted.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

💔💔 this is so sad! It’s SO important sometimes to let things go! If things had been any worse between us, we likely never would have spoken again. I know for sure that Jess wouldn’t have been open to reconciliation if she didn’t believe the relationship was worth saving so apologies had to happen on both sides & I’ve had to learn to allow much more space than what I’m used to between us while she does therapy. I think her therapy is really helping her. With friendships the ‘friend break up’ can be total agony. Sending you all of my love 💚💚💚❤️❤️❤️

[@mackenziemaybarraclough1207]

@@melaniemurphyofficial thank you. It is sad but as I said, it was important for us to let go for our own happiness. I didn't go to therapy after the friendship broke down but I wish I had. I think I needed that and it would have really helped me to have that safe space.

[@sorchx]

@@mackenziemaybarraclough1207 I went through the same thing. We had been friends for nearly ten years. I have no siblings si she became my sister. I went through some serious trauma and an abusive relationship

[@asteriadiana]

Thank you both for being so venerable and sharing this part of your lives with us, as I think this is really important to discuss. Being able to heal and rebuild a relationship is hard but is such a human thing, especially during this time in the world. Sending so much love to both of you!!!!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Sending you so much love right back! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mollydenton9582]

Oh god why am I crying haha, honestly one of the most raw and beautiful videos ever!! I'm so glad to see you guys working through it together. Having dealt with some similar stuff to both of yous mental health wise and just general stuff that life throws at us it's so lovely to see you guys work through it in such a healthy and supportive way! still working on most of it and was wondering if you could maybe do a video or some suggestions on good books/resources about like mental health/boundaries and personal growth would be so helpful! But yeah just wanted to come on here and say we need to normalise more conversations like this and so so glad to see you both back and happy!

[@BeckyMD26]

Sending love 💗 I had a very big falling out with my sister in law in March 2020. She wasn't happy about my pregnancy and she said some very upsetting things to me about it and it's safe to say it ruined my first trimester because it made my anxiety so bad. She apologised during my 2nd trimester and I accepted her apology because that's just who I am. It takes a lot for me to cut someone out of my life, especially when I suffer with anxiety because I cut someone off and then I feel guilty about it afterwards. So I've forgiven and so far things have been good but I've not forgotten anything and I do still feel on edge slightly when I see her sometimes. I'm now pregnant with my 2nd child and I haven't received a single text of congratulations or support and I really thought I would but I do imagine the problem with me expecting is still there or maybe she feels like she doesn't want to say anything after what happened last time. But I will say it still has affected me, I'm sat waiting for her to say anything and constantly dreading what she will say (if she ever does). I think it's safe to say that the trauma I encountered from the falling out has yet to be brushed under the carpet but I'm really trying to just push it to the back of my mind so I stay positive and relaxed for the sake of my baby xxx

[@GloriaTulwan]

My best friend of 5 years broke off our relationship for good (also in a really mean manner) when i was going through one of the toughest times of my life. i sometimes still miss her but i know that what she did hurt me too bad and i won't be able to go past that even if she came back. sometimes relationship can end and that's fucking painful, but you also need to accept that...

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

100%! I think if Jess had decided she didn't want to fix things, I'd have been so hurt by that choice that I'd have simply let go, and it would have sucked, but sometimes, these things do happen!

[@GloriaTulwan]

@@melaniemurphyofficial ❤️❤️

[@anjalibapat7]

I'm only 10 minutes in but I appreciate both of your honesty and openness so much 💚

[@Chefclarisseflon]

I feel out with my very best friend for the past couple of years. We just reconnected and honestly we both needed this time apart to shed the old version of ourselves and meet again as who we are today. It’s been heart wrenching but we are now so honest with each other

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL comment!

[@D.C.626]

Arguments between sisters are something I so understand. My sister and I love each other but can have quite big fights. I know that I can sometimes come off as judgemental (first born), and my sister can sometimes come off unsympathetic or reactive to things people say. We know this about each other and try to improve how we communicate often. For example, I might verbally prime her (ie. "Wait until I finish/explain before you react/respond to this") so she allows me to elaborate and not take what I say the wrong way. So glad that both of you are in a better place. Sisters are amazing! (P.s. my sis and I watch both your channels 💚)

[@marian9077]

I’ve really happy to see these things bc I’m very close to my brother, but we do have fights. Especially with my family it’s tough sometimes

[@nihalhathaway4089]

I think it's especially hard if someone doesn't see that they did something wrong or doesn't want to talk about it at all ...

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Yep, for sure! I knew what I’d done wrong and what to apologise for, only when I learned the context...that’s why communication is just so so important but both parties must commit to this!

[@evebeinguniquebeingme6205]

Life is too short I've lost so many family members this past year definitely keep each other close! 👏💖

[@FarrenDowning]

So glad you're back together and filming again! There was clearly something in the undercurrent because I hadn't seen you two together in videos but I half presumed it was due to covid and didn't want to make assumptions on something I knew nothing about. Just so glad you made up and are able to move onwards and upwards. Would love to see a favourites video between you both and see comparisons and similarities ie. Fave clothing, food, books, TV, homestuff, activities etc x Big loves to you both 💚💚

[@AmyMcDonaghGuitar]

Aww I love you guys. This made me miss my sister back in Ireland, she’s my best friend and I can’t imagine ever falling out with her. When Jessie got emotional about 6 mins in I started crying too 😂 just know you’re both amazing 💚

[@Scones777]

Wow! Thanks for sharing this in such a mature and educational way! (They should teach this stuff in schools) ❤️❤️I didn't know you had a falling out, but I'm really happy that you're mending your relationship now!🥰 It always seemed so warm and fun! It really hurts to fall out with someone you are close with! I fell out in a big way once with a close friend, and it was mostly because of something I had done years earlier that she discovered!☹️ She didn't confront me about it but hinted at it in text and stopped talking to me. I felt terrible, because it was my fault and I had nothing to say in my defense - other than that I was stupid at the age of 13 and hadn't meant to hurt her! We ended up not talking for almost a year and she didn't want to hear my apology. Of course I had to respect that she needed time! But it felt awful to not have a chance to say I was sorry! 😢 It really sucks extra much when the falling out is your fault! Or when there is a misunderstanding involved - which I think is often the case! Now, years later she says that she probably overreacted because of some other shit that was going on in her life, but that perspective only came after more time had passed and we had gotten older! 👵

[@dove.9833]

Just the fact you both wanted to have this conversation is the sweetest thing ever 💕💖

[@ameliel8792]

Wowza this is the kind of real sh*t people need to see. I feel like we're never taught relationship or resolution skills and it needs to be normalised how normal it is to fall out and hopefully rebuild ❤️

[@MotorCityPhoenix313]

I had noticed you two hadn't made videos and ages and was wondering what was up. Glad you two are on the mend!

[@rosaiglesias904]

I hate seeing you both cry and I can’t imagine how painful this must have been to address but ladies… This has helped me SO MUCH and I’m sure this will help SO, so many other people. This was a great example of effective communication, of creating a safe space where both parties feel able to be vulnerable with each other to address the problem head-on, without guilting anyone into anything. You deal with this with such grace and transparency. It felt so fucking genuine. I recently had a fallout with my sister (who is my best friend) and we didn’t speak for 10 months. The same thing happened to us, where one of us didn’t feel capable of talking about it yet and even though the other person was ready, we didn’t rush it. And even though our relationship will never be the same, this hurdle has helped us grow into more compassionate people and we have also become much more self-aware of our own faults that we need to improve in order to have healthy relationships, with other people and with ourselves. It’s been really, really hard to explain and to live through, so thank you so much for sharing so much of yourselves. I’m sure it must have felt scary but the world is better for it. Thank you so much for your bravery. Thank you both.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Oh, Rosa! 😭❤️ What a lovely comment. THIS is why we post stuff like this. So many of us go through these things and it can be so healing to share/to observe others sharing their flaws and mistakes! Xxx

[@sarahwithstars]

It is so easy to be misconstrued when communicating via texts or tweets. It's hard to reel those initial feelings back in, even after the true meaning is successfully conveyed. But also, without the person being there in front of you, it is hard to even know it has happened because not texting back has a multitude of potential reasons; plenty innocent and not because you are sulking. But they may be sulking or hurting and all the while you are oblivious, unaware that the friendship is crumbling over something that was carelessly articulated and was unintentionally taken badly.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

👏🏻 absolutely spot on!

[@brynna8619]

My current partner and I communicate the same thought very differently so communication with us has taken some work. I almost married someone else that would bulldoze my boundary about needing space after an argument every time. And he would always bring up things we had already dealt with. Great advice 💚💚💚💚

[@sarahmoran2814]

I was crying watching this 😭 I didn't even know you had fallen out with each other, I'm happy you sorted it though. It's heart breaking when you're out or sorts with someone you care about!

[@thoroughlyenjoyedbooks8565]

I found this video so difficult but wholesome to watch (if that makes sense). I've not seen my little brother for 10 years now (we were 12 and 17) and to this day I don't really know what happened. He now has an 18 month old who I've never met and don't know if I ever will... I hope one day we'll reconnect but it feels like too much time has passed now.

[@ellouisebadger849]

Oh noooo that's awful what some people will say online 😢 Whatever fall outs have happened with you both, I hope things get better for you both ❤️

[@xLiLlyx98]

Okay I was moved to tears several times during this, partly because I imagined falling out with my sister like that (no thanks), partly because I loved seeing Jessi so cute and giddy over her boyfriend :)

[@philippafranceshirst]

OMG yes the texting thing! My boyfriend and I haven't been able to see each other in person for 2 years (thanks to covid and australia's closed border - I'm in the UK) which has been so awful for both of us but we hardly ever message anymore - phone calls only! cause 90% of our silly fights would be based off of misreading tone/intent through messages! Not worth it!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

It’s actually so wonderful to hear that you both recognised this and are now exclusively calling! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️

[@TheRipeTomatoFarms]

Irish accents simply rule.

[@Days.]

honestly every time you cried in this video i did too, i am glad you have each other

[@ava8510]

I have an older sister Mel’s age and look up to your sisterly understandings and relationship 🥰🍂✨

[@chloefox1057]

So good to see you repairing your relationship, such beautiful siblings ❤️ well done for addressing issues and healing, life’s too short and you bring out such joy in each other xx

[@em9107]

This has given me a lot of hope, I've had a really difficult relationship with my dad for several years but this video was so real and raw and reminded me that things can always improve!! Love yous both so much and I'm glad you're both getting back on the right path xx

[@sssaaarrraaaggghhh]

I’m so glad to see you back together,I wasn’t aware of the fight you had but I just missed seeing you in a video together and I’m even more happy to see how you dealt with the situation. Thank you for sharing,I myself too had some falling out with some people during the lockdown and it all happened thru texts. This reminded me that if we both want to,we can rebuild the relationship.

[@claraontheroad3049]

Thank you so much for this conversation! It's so good to see this type of healthy, vulnerable, transparent conversation about how sometimes things are shitty but you can work through them I'd just like to say though, that the whole "you can only heal the relationship if you want to"... ignores the part where sometimes people are going to be toxic, and that the way forward, the way to heal the relationship, is to not have one anymore. And it's heartbreaking but sometimes that's life. I'm really so happy for you guys though andyou guys are impressive!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I completely agree! I thought we discussed this, pretty sure we did but it was brief! (That you should only heal a relationship if you want to/that it’s something you need to figure out) ❤️

[@claraontheroad3049]

@@melaniemurphyofficial oh, I must have missed that part then, sorry ! You're absolutely right