Where can I get a list of makeup and skincare recommendations? Thanks!

That light is way harder to maintain without those price tags. And therein lies the work of the rest of us.

There is a massive crossover of ADHD and autism. 30-70% I have heard. Sorry if I have already dropped this info in a previous comment on another video. I have known i am autistic for over 15 years but this year realised I am also ADHD.

"You do you" is the worst thing to ever happen to [modern] feminism.

You shouldn't have used Leane Lee. She's a great mom

i got youtube ads for anti-aging skin care before and during this video 🫠

I’ve been reading a lot about the adverse affects of drinking and smoking…..so I’ve decided to give up reading

I love this "trend." I don't think influencers need to take responsibility for their jobs. We all do.

It’s not your body and it’s not your choice! It’s the baby’s body which is a completely different human being that exists once and will never exist again # Abortion is Murder!!!

The reason I get sad when I see women getting loads of bits done to disguise any aging is because I feel that it is a representation of the subtle hold of patriarichal values, women's worth is based on their age, like a woman is only valuable if she's young. I wrote a poem about it and I think it explains it better "it seems we must freeze, forever young, forever naive. Nothing more dangerous than a woman who wears her wisdom" It's sad that we want to represent versions of ourselves that had less knowledge, less power and less cop on about the inequity around us. I find men are applauded for aging but women are encouraged to stay looking as if we're still little girls. In many ways it's creepy af when it's broken down.

I am 36, and in my opinion i definitely look it! But I should look 36, i've had a life, kids, jobs, upsets, happy times, and mu face shows all of that. I grew up in the 90s and still struggle with wanting to look like celebrities, and comparing myself to others "she looks so much better than me", "I should make more of an effort". But i try to remind myself, that those women in videos/celebrities, don't look like that either. Its also tragic that we are constantly putting ourselves down in the pursuit of a narrow view of 'perfection' I am all for choice, i really don't mind either way if someone has work done. But my question is that if we stripped away unrealistic beauty standards, and societal expectations of how we look. Would any one actually have those treatments done? My 5 year old daughter, was watching me put make up on, and asked "why are you putting that on your face?", and speaking personally, i couldn't think of a good reason why I wore it that wasn't tied to how I looked, or other people's perception on how I looked.

From my perspective, I find that being chronically online or in the spotlight in some way makes people very prone by influence when it comes to appearances. I’m sure certain jobs do too, like you said about your husband who’s a pilot. I feel so lucky that as I got into my 30s and spend less time on social media, I feel no need to ever do any procedures. Since the pani, I have become more comfortable with my bare face since I didn’t want to put on anything to then wear a mask. I began getting grays when I turned 30, and I’ve left my hair natural. My ex found my grays sexy, and I have friends who think they’re cute or are inspired to let theirs come in naturally too. I appreciate when I see friends post photos with no filters. And I work in a grocery store, so I constantly see all kinds of people. When I’m online, it’s such a drastic change that it feels like two very different worlds. Trends are moving faster than ever. We barely had a chance for the self-love trend and mindset to really set in. I guess capitalism is at play, because people make more money off of us if we’re insecure.

“We can all agree the woman looks absolutely phenomenal” I think that the more time you spend online following celebs the more Lindsay will look good to you, as someone who is more used to everyday people she looks extremely uncanny. The “you do you” phrase is such an empty platitude, in reality these celebs are influencing extremely young people to get permanent alterations that make them look worst or uncanny, fostering a deep sense of fear towards aging and things like fine lines and wrinkles. And now we are forced to accept this distorted vision of beauty that comes from Hollywood (and the plastic surgeons that are profiting) otherwise you aren’t a feminist that supports other women. Can we please start telling young girls the truth? These amount of surgery on your face doesn’t look human, aging is inevitable and the people who tell you they can reverse the aging process aren’t your friends.

As a personal image consultant (and fellow ADHDer diagnosed at 35!), the more I studied the field, the more I wished we had overcome the necessity of using beauty as the only women's currency. As equal to good, instead of just there, neutral, like anything else.

I have clothes from thrift stores, furniture pieces from the Goodwill and a very basic makeup collection. My coffee cups to travel and water bottles are all reusable and don’t get replaced until something breaks. I have rescued 7 animals in total so I can’t overspend and provide good care to my cats and dogs.

I'm really glad you got a diagnosis! I remember the first time you mentioned it in a video and how you didn't want to make it your personality or identity and I just thought "she's on her own journey, let her be" because ADHD, autism they are labels for our brain style, our neurotype, which means it's going to influence everything we do. And when you live in a world that isn't built for you (social model of disability) it's understandable that being ND is our identity or personality. It drives everything and that's not a bad thing. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 25 and autism a few months later it's the best thing I've ever done. For me, it was starting a PhD, that made my systems collapse but if you listen to Women & ADHD, the podcast, you'll realise that MANY find out they are ND after having children. It's really sad that other diagnoses are given (even though undiagnosed ND is going to lead to mental health struggles) instead of the right ones but lots of people are talking about it, so things shall change, one day. I'd suggest reading the book We Are All Neurodiverse, it's an amazing book, and really explains neurodiversity in an easy manner! Anyway, welcome to the club, we have cookies and are the best 💕

I'm a millennial parent and hate screens & don't use them. However, my gen x dad does. 🙄 It annoys me.

Excellent commentary and insight thank you! I appreciate you expressing vulnerability - woman are held to such a high and u realistic standard by men and women (why?); this is nuts women should be on the same team and we are not :( All the best to you and your family!

All this obsessive love is so toxic. I knew my husband was the one bc I didn’t feel like I couldn’t live without him. But I knew I didn’t want to live without him. It was so…..calm. He just felt like home. But a safer home than I’d ever had. If people want passion and butterflies that’s fine but then you can’t have both. Butterflies cannot last because of biology. And that’s ok. Because that was a BLAST…..but this is better. Knowing I am known is deeper and better. A spouse who sees I am tired and just says I’ll make you an Omelett isn’t exciting, but it’s LOVE. And to be known like that is incredible.

Hy Mel, long time subscriber here 👋 Rarely commented, but did ask some questions when you and Jessy answered recently 😍 Wanted to comment on a section you talked about being presentable and being expected to, in a workplace. I work in education sector and in recent time I started wearing my natural hair more to work because I used that free time from doing my hair to prepare myself healthy meals for work. I got comments from female coleagues like 'Why don't I straighten my hair, that it looks messy and untamed. Would look better and more neat and presentable if I straighten it'. To be honest, in that moment I really felt like I had Hagrids hair, even though I liked wearing my natural voluminous, bigger hair for a while there. Now that holidays are coming, I am styling my hair more but it got me thinking. The expectations for women are really ridiculous. Enjoyed your video 👋

Thank you for this video xx❤

i related to the adhd chat so so much! i’m on a waiting list for assessment currently 💚

I been teased about being skinny my whole life. Ppl telling me i need to eat a burger, calling me boney bitch etc etc and yes these ppl were fat So im indifferent about thin being in. I been trying to gain weight forever . But it is a little reliving tht my body type is finally back in style or whatever it is

It's alright for everyone to live the way that they decide to. No other person has the right to say how you should live your life. If you refuse to be traditional, then don't demand the other party to be traditional to you. Carry your own weight in the relationship and let's see who needs the other more.

Regardless of the definition of gentle parenting the results are not great. There’s a lot of rude children around and their parents don’t seem to care.

You really need to detangle what is personal discomfort when you perceive yourself as not adhering to a beauty standard, what is self objectification that has trained you to be critical and judgemental of your body (and frankly, to value yourself based on who wants to fuck you, cuz that's a biggie in this headspace) and what is ACTUAL societal pressure to conform to a certain standard. If you were raised to adhere to the standard you now find oppresive, you're absolutely going to feel discomfort when you reject it. But that discomfort you feel is not necessarily "society" pressuring you to revert to what you consider the standard. If it is normal for you to always wear a full face of makeup to work, you're going to feel a bit weird not doing that (and people may even comment, because they're used to the version of you that wears a full face!) But you've got to realize that TONS of women go to work without makeup and don't think twice about doing so, nor do they hear comments because they're not showing up with a vastly different look one day to the next. You can adjust what your normal is, but you need to accept the discomfort that comes with violating some formerly closely held beliefs, and that people around you may notice and comment on the change. The absolute worst way to approach this is to recognize the bs, feel bad about it, but cede any agency you have over how you chose to react in favor of pure victimhood.

I think she's been replaced.

to me... what always baffles ME is how influencers and other women always think a woman's beauty and her choices, has anything to do with them. Lindsays new face has nothing to do with US. :) you know? why would it cause such a stir. it never stops to baffle me why people care so much.

Miss, you mention Michael Jackson, as what plastic surgery looked like when you were growing up, wait 10-15 years to see how Lindsay Lohans surgery is looking, it takes some time to take its toll on a person’s appearance & their psyche ! You seem so depressed about appearances, get outside, & enjoy life, away from mirrors & black mirrors of social media! Who you are is enough, skin care , makeup, are forms of self care, surgery is a form of self mutilation , that takes a lifetime to reveal its scars…

I havent watched your videos for months or yeras but have been subscribed since 2014. You stayed just as real and just as beautiful. Lovely!

As a fellow woman with raging late-diagnosed adhd - the way I’m FEELING every single word. For me, I knew I was an ADHDer for 7 years before I got a diagnosis. It's impossible to book an appointment with a psychotherapist/psychiatrist where I live, and I couldn't get past the mental hurdle and find the energy during my studies to prioritize getting a diagnosis (classic, I know). Ironically, I only got around to getting one after I successfully completed my masters feeling mentally and physically destroyed. I see you Mel. I know the roughest and most debilitating aspects of it surface and eat you alive when you’re at home alone and not being perceived. Big big hugs 💛 Thank you for sharing 🥹

Just came from a Tom Holland interview about being sober for one and half years. Thanks for being this vulnerable and honest. I am proud of you. (almost two years sober here o/)

Popping back to let you all know I've been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD...AGE 35! Which explains so, so, SO much. Thank you to all of you who reached out over the years communicating that you could feel I was neurodivergant in your waters hehe. Also. I'm like, fully past all the weird post covid symptoms now :) The mind body community changed my LIFE <3

Mel, I just want to say thank you for talking about all of this, especially the parts about your hopes for going back to uni and the next phase of your life after young kids. I am someone who both hopes to become a parent in the next few years but is also in a creative field for my job, and I'm so scared of potentially losing that part of me if I become a mum and main caregiver. It's so encouraging to me to see you choose both your future self as well as motherhood

"things that I've been dealing with for most of my life...all built up and contributed to my nervous system becoming hypersensitive" - major relate. I've got chronic fatigue syndrome, recently realised I probably have ADHD and am waiting to be diagnosed. It all just built up and for me one of the most upsetting things was when I got brain fog - I used to be so sharp and now the brain fog is not so bad but I've lost the ability to think clearly like I used to. I have hope that I can recover and regain it. Ok carrying on the video.

It's crazy cause you are so gorgeous and it's so strange to hear that you feel insecure. I was expecting this video to be bashing those that get plastic surgery, but instead it's such a genuine take on what it is like to be a woman, when being naturally beautifully is no longer enough in this society. You have to look perpetually 21. I'm 43 and I'm going through the same things you are describing. Society really does seem to create this ideal that women's value is only skin deep and as much as I don't want to believe that, getting older just feels terrible. I feel like I'm losing my value. I hear men talk like that all the time. It's so disheartening.

I heard 'im bringing back monthly vlogs' and I squealed with excitement 🥰

She is better mentally and moved on from addictions that is why she looks better. My cousin had addictions and everyone thought she was 10 years older at least. Now its the oposite, she truly aged backwards. Because the body has the ability to regenerate after a lot of damage, even if you age you may look better if you have better health in older age.

I love a good herbed salt for salads and then a seed mix. Then with a green, tomatoes, carrot of three quickly goes to 6 with a seed topper and then up to 10 different plants with a rosemary oregano thyme marjoram salt! This plus the diversity bowls are my adhd hack for plant diversity especially when I am absolutely eating McDonald’s once a week after a late night or work.

The looking like your nana! I thought about this this morning….that someday the only place I will be able to see my parents is in my own aging face. How sad I would be not to have that. And now I am crying. 😂

Reading during public transport has been amazing for me. Less social media and more joy, also helps me leave work at work as a transitional occupation!

There’s nothing feminist about plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons. But society doesn’t want to talk about it.

What about Sydney Sweeney? She must be in her Lindsay phase?

The thing with Lindsay's so-called glow up is she looks really really weird in person. It might look good on camera with Photoshop and everything but in person it's weird and uncanny valley and not something that people should aspire to do to themselves. And how sad it is that people are saying she looks better now that she doesn't look like herself. That's really got to mess with someone.

It’s funny… I found you when years and kind of went away from social media for my own reasons. I rediscovered you after you had your daughter. I have never loved watching someone so much. I may not catch every video or every post because I had my son 18 months ago and I’m finally getting back to myself(just like you said and I could cry! 😭) Beauty standards are the worst, lol. I have never really followed them. I like what I like and I get made fun of allllll the time for still wearing skinny jeans, lol. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I will never give up my big sweaters/ over sized shirts and scarves with leggings and flats. I love my soft makeup and bold eyes. I will never apologize for wearing a vest, a tshirt and jeans. When you have searched for yourself for so long and you finally find what makes you happy, then the styles change… why bum yourself out only to wait a few more years for them to come back? 🤣 Stay you! I love your videos and you help me keep myself in line a lot, lol. So thank you. 🥰 I am very thankful for you and I never want you to change. EVER! 🫶🏻

YEY to the monthly vlogs please!!! ❤❤😊😊

This year I've been thinking a lot about that unspoken rule of looking polished to be taken seriously. I took a new job a year ago in a book store, and went into the interview without any makeup, my hair perfectly clean but frizzy, and my face dry bc I had just come out of the shower before running out the door to make it there in time. I got the job despite not looking perfect, and have made a point of showing up as myself, no makeup most days, as that should be good enough. But the times I do wear makeup, I notice a clear change in how other people treat me. It's like the customers suddenly see me as a person instead of just a faceless, unimportant customer service person.

I just stumbled upon on your channel, for the insight, I stopped following a lot of influencers I used to follow because they had kids. Nothing wrong with kids, I want kids myself but I suddenly found them unrelatable. Their lifestyle and interests just became too far from my own, they became unrelatable to Me.

'feminism' stop blaming feminism for the patriarchal push to manipulate women into having plastic surgeries to make them more appealing to men. That is not feminism.

That were poor 😂