Healing Dissociation: Ground Yourself in Reality & Reclaim Your Power I Inner Work Library [16/500]

[@jordanthornton]

*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)* It's an absolute pleasure to film these KZbin videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together. I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions. Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024. To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together. Please take the time to read this comment before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc. ... *READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:* I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions. Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for therapeutic containment. I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive collaboration. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation. I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability. ... *HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH* Unlike therapists and coaches who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense. This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months. If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated therapeutic process per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual practice, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs). These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with this series may not be the right match for four months of structured Inner Work. If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me. I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked therapeutic experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path. I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to real-world outcomes based on the personal goals you share with me. I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via messenger contact - where I am active and available four days per week for check-ins and additional support. As way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations. I often support people who are accustomed to professional support after working through previous traumas with other coaches and therapists before we begin our work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. KZbin is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private sessions, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material. Ultimately, this is a demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions. ... *SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:* The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or $9,400 USD. Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and additional calls if required. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday. If you’ve scrolled this far and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to connect with you and start exchanging voice notes in real-time. IMPORTANT: I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I am not available for Instagram DM therapy or one-off calls. This is my only offer and my pricing is liable to adjustment over time. I respond personally to every message I receive which means it sometimes takes up to four weeks for me to get back to you with full presence. I appreciate your patience with my response and look forwards to learning how I could help you.

[@dorefromDetroit]

Completely agree. Are you familiar with the association of contextual behavior sciences? I think there may be a way to collaborate to help a lot of our hsp/ND/fuck-the-labels-im-hurting peeps, more effectively. Also have you done work with Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration? Societally, we are at the rarely discussed reintegration phase, and you actually need both: did and re integration. People need to get happy living in the paradox. The enlightenment is over, go home 🤣. AUM Shanti AUM peace out yall

[@jordanthornton]

@@dorefromDetroit Yes, I featured Dabrowski's work in my video titled: "Gifted Child Survival Guide" - he's excellent, and I find him incredibly insightful. Check it out!

[@brookewerner6448]

I can’t thank you enough for the work you are doing. I’ve been through about a dozen therapists/social workers/psychiatrists to trying to keep my dissociation and depersonalization at bay. Not a single one explained the importance of a daily movement practice in the way you have. Grounding techniques just aren’t enough for long term healing. I’m so excited to pick up a movement routine once again. I know it’ll stick since I have knowledge on why it’s so important. I agree that disassociation is a chronic problem in society. I have never thought about it that way before however it makes perfect sense. I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about it!! Jordan you are truly God sent. 🙏

[@jordanthornton]

Extremely happy to know that this video opened a new doorway, and likewise inspired the movement routine. May August feel flowing and steady for you, and thanks for the extra money towards the next book.

[@Coach-j1h]

Thank you. Loud and clear big dog 🐶 Id love to be able to express myself in a similar manner one day , that slow calm way of talking is magnetic and soothing. Learning alot from your channel very great full 🙏 cheers

[@jordanthornton]

You are kind, thank you once again.

[@Elvira239]

Perfect timing. Today I noticed I didn't even realize that I've dissociated to the point I can't connect to any of my feelings or even memories. I find it impossible to make a decision that I was so certain about before I went into this dissociated state. But what's scary is that I spent most of my life like this and I never realized what's happening to me. I thought it was really my authentic self to not have a single feeling in a crisis. Very strange for someone who feels everything so intensely like me. So I was a walking contradiction all this time. It really gives me hope to know I can do something about it. Thank you.

[@jordanthornton]

Important moment of revelation, happy to have connected in what seems like a very timely moment for you - defend your hope.

[@jordanthornton]

*Want your inner work question answered in the next episode? Here are the Inner Work themes and concerns which I am currently prioritising:* - Trauma Healing & Trauma Release - Parts Work & Subpersonalities - Jungian Psychology & Archetypes - Transpersonal Psychology / Healing - Self Education & Research Suggestions - Masculine / Feminine Dynamics - Addiction, Recovery & Sobriety In the spirit of doing this work together, and extending our genuine concern for others, I invite you to consider phrasing your question to serve on behalf of both yourself and the silent stranger across the ocean who is seeking the exact same answers as you, but might not be willing to get directly involved. We experience our internal worlds independently, but we are remarkably interwoven at our essence. I find this zoom-out awareness connective and comforting, so I naturally welcome your individual perspective while also looking forward to watching this series unfold at the particular intersection between personal circumstances and broader collective challenges. In terms of question boundaries and guidelines, these videos are not an opportunity for long personal essays or indiscriminate trauma dumping. Self-reflective writing is suitable for private journaling, but clearly inappropriate for a public video series. I hope this is obvious, but perhaps worth stating nonetheless. *Question Length: I kindly request that you limit your question to a maximum of two concise sentences.* Important: Comment replies do not show up in my notification box. Please post your question as a new comment on this video, otherwise I will not see your message.

[@helvete_ingres4717]

I remember every single story I wrote in English class in school was about a character who was dissociated tho I probably hadn't come across that word yet, always that description of being outside of oneself, disembodied and simply observing (sometimes straightforwardly, sometimes via a fantastic device like being a telepath who was has to drown out the thoughts of others else be overwhelmed). They were usually graded very well- they do say 'write what you know' after all . I also think I came to experience 'depersonalisation' which reads in description like the opposite experience but one I came to regard as the other side of the same coin

[@jordanthornton]

Took me some years to figure this out as well - I can relate to what you're sharing, thank you. Glad you found the information you needed, and wishing you well on your continued path.

[@gabrielacarlton9781]

I love this Jordan, treat your body with respect and create a temple within ♥️

[@tanyadreschel6040]

Thank you so very much for your channel, your work is sincerely helpful.

[@jordanthornton]

Tanya, thank you for doing your inner work - truly.

[@bluejayonmyshoulder7383]

I’m so happy I found your channel .

[@jordanthornton]

Happy you're here!

[@db9062]

This is good material. The body becoming ourselves means that surrender has to happen and the rigidity we carry melts into an attuning relationship built on love and respect, as you say. It’s the kind and nourishing relationship spoken to our bodies in the inner room of our hearts, building this skill so the language of soul in regards to our bodies becomes soothing and healing and ultimately changes over to an energetic narrative beyond the reach of the world and any cognitive structure, into an embodied presence of joy. But the beginning is always an inch by inch progress clunky and awkward to take this level of parental responsibility for our own flesh. This is what the apostle Paul writes about in the Book of Ephesians “No man hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it”. We’re all on a spectrum of this and where the quality of our relationship with our bodies are. I’ve noticed making progress in this department is the fundamental work of my whole life and the way I treat my body with love and respect is a 100% direct correlation with how I view love respect and relate to other people and the world around me. A book recommendation I have for this area that has helped me immensely, in addition to Lowen’s work, is called Rediscovering the lost body connection within Christian Spirituality: The missing Link for experiencing yourself in the whole body of Christ is a changing relationship to your own body. It’s by Edwin McMahon.

[@jordanthornton]

Appreciate your comment here, and thank you for the suggestion!

[@keystomyheart7623]

Much needed, thank you, this is what I'm working on. I believe we are here for pleasure, passionately loving ourselves to give and receive pleasure in abundance through all the senses in accordance with the free will and freedom of others. When we disassociate we are not in a state of flow, I feel we morph into situations to best experience them, it should be a flow one archetype to another as we draw what we need in any moment. We get attached to things, labels, identities etc and we lose the experience in the moment striving to build off our idea of what we should be. I heard something beautiful the other day, we don't have a partner we experience our partner. We don't have children we experience them. How beautiful is that?

[@chloeistre]

"Flow one archetype to another as we draw what we need in any moment" - LOVE this, thanks!

[@keystomyheart7623]

@@chloeistre ☺️🦋

[@jordanthornton]

Pleasure through embodiment, and pleasure through creation - in both work and play. Thank you for this beautiful comment.

[@paulodigioia]

Exactlyy

[@maddy6566]

Thank you very much for this, I've been wokring with my angels recently from my own trauma, and my anxiety, this was lovely!

[@jordanthornton]

Glad that you've got the angels on your side - also recommend getting your feet into the earth and lifting weights. God loves gainz.

[@elenanina]

This topic touches me deeply. Each day I find myself spending a lot of energy creating safe internal space to confronting with my fragmented parts. Now I'm on the next level trying to prevent dissociation from happening in the first place, but it's extremely difficult to not be defensive against negative emotions. I found out that I have a very poor capacity to recieve uncomfortable feelings and I'm on my way to learn better. It gets really natural when I am able to welcome and process them, I feel free and creative and alive! Feeling emotions in my body is really empowering! My psychiatrist once told me that I should think about myself like ancient Greeks, body and soul can't exist without each other. They actually didn't even have the idea of a soul being separated from the body. If it wasn't for my body, I couldn't live! That's our body that allows us to experience the world! Thanks for your work. Wishing everybody a good healing journey

[@jordanthornton]

Elena, the holistic green view is a great perspective - make sure to develop a consistent exercise routine which feels inspiring also! Body work for body challenges 🌲

[@elenanina]

@@jordanthorntonI move my body doing workouts or dancing everyday for one hour at least! It definitively helped me a lot through my darkest period in the past, and it still is fundamental for my mental health. 🤸🏻‍♀️

[@Drumlicker63]

I spent 20 years dissociating and had no idea until it got worse from smoking pot. I quit 5 years ago and thought I’d never stopped dissociating, not realizing that it’s something I’ve been doing for my entire life. When you said “behind the eyes” I felt like someone finally knew what I was going through. It is a defense mechanism and it needs to stop otherwise I cannot live my life enjoyably. Thank you for being someone who did the work and is sharing their findings. I always had a feeling most people deal with this in some minor level and I do believe a lot of it has to do with electronics.

[@jordanthornton]

Electronics certainly make it worse, I covered this in my video on internet addiction a few months back. Happy to have shared some of the process and healing - keep going, and get grounded above all else. Find a reason to inhabit your body and love that place.

[@saberlivre]

Thanks for this video, I really need to get back to my exercise routine. I tend to dissociate a lot and the fact that I have adhd doesn't help, either. People do find me weird, I've been told that I'm strange and even standoffish, when in fact I'm just dissociating. But yeah, guess I need to make an effort and just move my body a bit, thank you :)

[@jordanthornton]

Let me know how it goes - embodiment really is the key, Flavia.

[@Graceunderfiire]

Wow I just realized that this is what I did in my last relationship. I became a shell of myself and was then characterized as aloof and vapid because i was not fully present. I was in defense/hiding mode for fear of being judged in a negative light (expressing only a tiny part of myself) 😮 and then I ended up being judged anyway for not being complete in character. 😅 I am happy to hear that I do enjoy (am capable of) pleasure in my body the way you described which makes me feel like I’m not totally in this disassociated state all the time but I unfortunately disconnect when my relationships start to get turbulent. I wish I could maintain connectivity when in relationship with others the way I do when I am alone. Something about humans that makes them intimidating to me and makes me feel like I need to “cover up” or only show parts of myself that I believe they will approve of. I noticed that the more outwardly judgmental the personality is, the less I show up as my authentic self (whoever that is 😅).

[@jordanthornton]

Powerful realisations - glad to have supported your awareness here. Relational connectivity builds with effort and the right kind of partner, it sounds like you're well on the path, Sarah.

[@chloeistre]

For me, dissociation has led to occasionally arguing with other parts of me that don't want to do whatever it is that this version of me wants to do. I've learned to stop bullying myself and communicate with my inner world with more respect and compassion, for which I'm beyond grateful. Thank you for this video. It goes nicely with the self concept content I've been consuming. What do you think about self-hypnosis for creating a stronger sense of self? I'm considering it, but kind of nervous about the idea.

[@chloeistre]

Ha ha, I got first comment! About time. 😁

[@jordanthornton]

Chloe, thank you for your consistently engaged comments. I've unfortunately never placed much emphasis on self-hypnosis as commonly expressed. I'm into intentional practice and setting repeated intentions, but that's probably not what you're talking about?

[@chloeistre]

@@jordanthornton You're very welcome, it's the least I can do after all the hours you spend researching and recording these great ideas I don't find anywhere else. 😁 As for self-hypnosis, that's kind of what I thought it was, like intentionally changing the unconsious through a meditative-type state. Or maybe I'm wrong, I don't understand it very well.

[@y_yy_2844]

If I'm understanding you right, it would seem that an issue like agoraphobia/acrophobia/kenophobia comes about because of a false projection of safety onto a place or person, such as the home, close family, the workplace, rather than that internal locus of safety being within our bodies and us properly identifying ourselves with our bodies, in turn allowing us to be safe in many different places and situations in the outer world. So the task is to realize we are safe not because of where we are externally but rather that we are within and identical to our bodies, which are safe. Reading Lowen's 'Betrayal of the Body" right now and he also discusses how normal people treat the bodies. They identify themselves with their bodies. Their bodies are dynamic due to the constant flux of impulses allowed to be expressed externally. Whereas the schizoid/schizophrenic/dissociative person has an outer armor and weak internal impulses rarely allowed to surface since the body is disidentified. Thank you again for your work, I am reading Lowen on your recommendation.

[@jordanthornton]

Exceptionally high-quality share, I enjoyed reading your words. I defer to Lowen with his experience of working with these kinds of people, and it seems like you're on the right track too - thanks for this.

[@healingnaturegirl333]

Will watch again & take a few notes. And you are so spot on with healing by getting in our bodies. It has helped my entire life. Yet, I can fall into old patterns when traumatic events have happened that takes me out of my self care routine. Hiking, belly dancing, yoga, dancing, swimming, art, etc. have been a saving grace. It is medicine, & I’ve given myself grace now, after learning to trust myself because of the habits I know I can practice again, to heal. And hopefully be able to learn to navigate the effects of stress when overwhelming events happen & make different choices that might preemptively avoid some of the trauma ( such as letting a partner back in that I know is not in my best interest). You mentioning the body as a temple, was a deep resonating feeling because I have always toyed with that line as a thing to study & understand. It feels like it’s taken on a authentic meaning, & to feel that feels like being on a deeper path to self love , & forgiveness & acceptance. So grateful for your words, vibe & sharing your gift. Thank you ✨⭐️✨

[@jordanthornton]

Truly beautifully written comment, I throughly enjoyed reading your words. Thank you.

[@btlfilmmedia9514]

Dissociation is major symptom in any trauma it needs to talked about more

[@jordanthornton]

I agree - something that I'll likely keep returning to on this channel.

[@angelicacroitoru4946]

I've been with 5 psycologist untill now and none addressed dissociation even if knew I've been trough sexual abuse at age of 3. With one of them I was fully dissociated and no help with it.

[@fatadesculta]

I’ve heard about dissociation as trauma response many times, but you put it so well in “understandable” words 🙏🏽

[@jordanthornton]

Natalie, this is a wonderful comment to receive - thank you. The language can be challenging to navigate, but understanding the 'defensive' element provides so much potential for new directions. Not a fixed fate, but something to be healed and dissolved.

[@fatadesculta]

@@jordanthornton yes, it requires life commitment (?) to constantly bring awareness into the present moment and chose to stay present with your body 🥲 I loved what you said about learning to truly fucking love your “flash”

[@jordanthornton]

@@fatadesculta Exactly! Beauty to be regained in our bodies. Wishing you well, Natalie.

[@ABB14-11]

I like this because far too often we forget to be human is both body and soul rather than the soul being greater than the flesh. Reminds me of Theology of the Body

[@jordanthornton]

I read Christopher West’s book on TOB a few weeks ago funnily enough - I agree!

[@the.kai.eros.experience]

This changed my life. Thank you. You connected so many dots for me.

[@jordanthornton]

Kai, this means the world to me. Keep going, brother. Hope this channel helps you in this moment and your steps ahead.

[@amandaschneikart3711]

I wholeheartedly agree!! I've been walking or running in the woods (barefoot a few times😉). Awesome video, 'twas a pleasure as always 💃

[@jordanthornton]

Love that! Barefoot moments are grounding... literally.

[@lauradelafuente6173]

This was certainly potent to watch just an hour after walking out of a Donald Kalsched lecture! Divine timing! 😅 Thank you Jordan, this is very helpful.

[@jordanthornton]

Divine timing indeed - and we both know what Kalsched REALLY wants.

[@avertingapathy3052]

Timely. The Power of Fun book aluded to the same. I'm convinced too that survival in today's world requires dissociation as one of the less harmful coping mechanisms at least in the short run. A balance between suppression and embodiment and integrarion. Kinda rough seeing how this is a somewhat common response to the changing environment and world. Would be interesting to hear where you draw the line between healthy coping and pathology.

[@jordanthornton]

That's a really good question, I think I'll screenshot this and potentially make a video about the line between healthy coping/adaptation and pathology. Really love the nuance possibility.

[@bruverton]

Great work Jordan! Just listed to animas anima and I finally have a better grasp on these mystical concepts. Thanks, Paul from London.

[@jordanthornton]

Paul, it’s my pleasure brother - got two more videos on anima and animus coming out next month for you to dive into also!

[@PeaceLoveJoyWorld]

Thank you so much, Jordan, for your thorough research. Your clear and concise delivery of your knowledge is refreshing. I appreciate your efforts enormously. ❤

[@jordanthornton]

Always doing my best to stay concise! Thank you.

[@joanneg665]

This is incredible. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you!

[@annijohnson6210]

Thank you so so much, Jordan. Yes, I have suffered decades with dissociation that feels to me like a sci-fi flick that shows a body in ghostly multiples stretching out infront of the body. Also, tunnel vision. Childhood trauma, raging mom that in the next moment says, “I love you.” Enmeshment. I had no self. I was baby doll. This is where I need to work: being in my body. Loving the real me - at 55. I wish I had learned when I was younger. Not as much awareness as now. No computer and internet until 1998.😂 It is good for some things, but I do read, too.💕 Mindfulness and meditation freak me out, because I’m afraid of inducing another “spiritual” experience. I had an intense one in 2009 that, after the actualizing event, lasted 18 mo.. I was so freaked out.

[@jordanthornton]

Glad to have supported your inner work with this video, sounds like you've learned much in your journey so far and wishing you the best with your next steps.

[@michannepotgieter8891]

The ultimate love story. The loving touch of oneself to oneself by oneself for oneself. Ah yip.

[@bluejayonmyshoulder7383]

I’ve disassociated since I was 7 years old. I thought I left it behind but realized that now at 27, I moved it into my romantic relationships

[@jordanthornton]

Awareness comes in waves - and I'm glad you're doing the patient work here.

[@btlfilmmedia9514]

This is one your best videos for explaining how to return to being grounded and whole

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you, particularly pleased with this one too!

[@awarenessconsciousness5934]

Very true! Wish you the joy inside and inner light .👍❤️🙏🏻

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you for taking the to comment, I hope this video has provided something valuable for you.

[@inwonderland9842]

I was actually thinking today Jordan that I need to stop spending so much time online and start walking outside again.... Beginnings are so hard 🤦 Sometimes I wish I was religious, I would pray for the power to do it. 🌲

[@chloeistre]

Hang in there, you got this! I can relate to your feelings about prayer. I tried many faiths before I decided I can't know. It felt like a major let-down for a while. But, "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." (Clarke) I would say existence qualifies as sufficiently advanced. So there must be some ultimate source of life, and we are part of it. I ask for strength from the universe/source or my higher self, and I feel more grounded and intentional. I love walking outside, too, that's my music/meditation time. 😁🌲🎶

[@inwonderland9842]

@@chloeistre what a beautiful comment. Thank you Chloe and enjoy your walks and music time! Happy at least one of us is keeping healthy these days. You are actually motivating me to get back to my routine. 🌲 When you ask the Universe next time, ask for double strength and mentally send half my way ☺️🙏

[@jordanthornton]

Couple of barefoot walks per week are still a staple for me - not all walks, but the literal grounding is powerful if you've got nature nearby. Have fun.

[@otkk2022]

Oh my gosh,,, i was just thinking this. From childhood, they program us to dissasociate... to keep imagining and living in our fantasies w all the cartoons n shit. And now am 22 years old n i just learnt this,, self awareness comes from living IN YOUR BODY NOT YOUR MIND. And it actually makes you a better human to not live in ur head//made up situations but in ur present bodily experience. //I subscribed to ur channel bcoz i feel we on the same wavelength n ur actually speaking truth. Much love fom Kenya Jordan:)

[@jordanthornton]

Kenya, wonderful! It's shocking how we are 'programmed' as you say, I agree... but we can reclaim our bodies and get grounded. I find this hopeful, Christine.

[@erburu]

I feel lucky that I came upon your channel. I feel like I'm on a path, each day understanding something new about myself and the next step to take. I guess I still have a lot to learn as regards how to find pleasure in my body when I often escape it because of sensations that I unconsciously evaluate as uncomfortable and undesirable since I was a teenager.

[@jordanthornton]

Welcome aboard! I'm pleased to hear of your progress these days, keep going with your steps forwards, brother.

[@ethomas2084]

I wonder if Dissociation is a protection response. I had it especially when I was a teenager. Like my friends, I tried drugs, hoping it would alleviate it. The alcohol and marijuana made it worse. and I've avoided those substances for a decade now. The friends I grew up with did not have dissociation and their experience was much worse. One friend died of alcoholism. Another became addicted to crack cocaine. Another friend became addicted to pills and committed suicide. Another friend committed suicide. Now, I wonder if my dissociation was a gift from my mind. To tell me something was not right. Now I am mentally healthy, married, in a job I mostly enjoy, though still sensitive to my surroundings and the world.

[@jordanthornton]

Exactly what I talk about in this video when unpacking the 'defence' element of dissociation - I agree, and I'm sorry to hear about some of the challenges you've faced. Keep going with your healing work.

[@Chancey388]

Thanks for All the Help.

[@jordanthornton]

You're welcome, Chance. Keep going, brother.

[@ranah3367]

I found this channel last week at the time of planning for my last day "months ago decided" but I thought No harm in a little delay. Your videos are the only thing I do beside sleeping since then lol. I believe I've reached the highest levels of dissociation "although I've lived my whole 21 life like this" .IDK how to articulate it but don't even Identify with myself anymore .I ask Qs that seem insane to ppl around me or any normally formed person : why I'm me specifically, not you or any other one/ what makes me "me". I feel prisoned inside this body and this reality. And Why to live this heavy life if Nobody else would share being "me" and only "I" will endure this pain and experience it. For what?....sounds insane right.. It all became meaningless and not worth it in my eyes..... I stopped even caring about fixing anything anymore .For years now I'm used to think I'm another person to give myself more of the not caring feeling and extra dissociation... IDK if this is a mental illness or has a psychological term, but this's making suic*de more of a relief as I already don't exist so why to face the world. I thought for a moment about getting your coaching however I assume to be a hopeless case and don't have the energy/willingness to give for a person I don't live as or even want to... On the outside I have it all and perceived as ungrateful/cursed/bewitched (which I think of considering lol) I was THE GIFTED child known in the whole city ,full of energy who sings, paints, write poetry since the age of 7 and always top in school. For years I tries not to collapse..But I lost myself &sadly that's it. Anyway I'm sorry to disturb you with this lengthy comment which apparently has no purpose ... Have a nice day

[@jordanthornton]

You are not disturbing me with a lengthy comment, I'm glad that you wrote this. I deeply relate to what you've shared here. It warms my heart to know that you're seeing the possibilities of self-healing and choosing life. I understand what you've shared - I was likewise trapped in the suicidal dissociation for many years, but this started to change when I made the single UNAPOLOGETIC self-commitment to devote three years to my self-healing. Single focus, nothing else mattered because I knew what would happen if I didn't make the effort. It ended up taking me a little under two years to dissolve 90-95% of the symptoms and discover my lust for life and purpose in this world. You can do this, Rana. Get the books and make the space.

[@KiwikimNZ]

Your comment bought tears to my eyes and bought my struggles, so similar to yours, flooding back. I understand everything your wrote, I get it and I have been in that place you describe. Many years I struggled to keep myself alive, it’s not that I wanted to die, I just couldn’t see the purpose anymore and I wanted to badly to escape my pain and confusion. It doesn’t matter how much people on the outside may think “but you have it all?” When you do not have the will and your joy has gone, you have nothing. Please know that the way you are feeling right now, in time can change. You are so young and you have so much ahead of you to experience and enjoy once you are able to find the right help and healing. I know it’s hard to find to energy to even try, but one foot in front of the other, little steps at a time and reach out and ask for help, you are so worth it. I look back to the days when I had planned and attempted the end to my suffering, I had given up all hope. Looking back at all of the blessings that have entered my life since and now knowing all of the wonderful things I experienced since I am so grateful that I chose to seek help and the work I have put into pulling myself out of that place. Please do not give up, there is always a solution and a way to experience well-being, it’s not easy but you can do it. Hugs to you and please know you are cared about by some old lady on the other side of the world. Xx kim New Zealand

[@ranah3367]

@@KiwikimNZ Thank you for caring. Your kind words have touched my heart despite my current emotional numbness... I appreciate you sharing your experience and what you've gone through and I'm glad you got out of your dark place and doing well now... I never thought anyone could relate to or understand my scattered words ...from my place in Egypt I wish you all the happiness and joy the world can offer xoxo ♥️

[@ranah3367]

@@jordanthornton Thank you for your kind reply. Honesty I have no desire in living my whole life out of touch with myself with no confidence in who I am. After spending years living in the shadow of other people brought me loads of frustration and self loathing My Confusion& dissociation are trapping me in a cycle of shame, worthlessness feeling Thank you once again,Jordan. your sincerity can be felt in each of your videos.. Please keep it up.

[@jordanthornton]

@@ranah3367 You're on the verge of breakthrough. I know it won't feel like it, but I've seen this state many times before and experienced it first-hand. Honour your giftedness and give yourself three years of healing intention... I promise things will start shining.

[@amandaclawson795]

Well said. Thank you.

[@Jackel95]

Dude I'm so grateful to have found your video, thanks for reminding of all of this as I've been recently Re Associating after losing my mother to cancer. This is such great content thank you man 🙌🙏

[@jordanthornton]

Brother, I'm sorry to hear this. That's awful, and I'm glad that you're actively doing the work to move forward into a greater state of integration and strength. Happy to connect, you got this man.

[@Jackel95]

@@jordanthornton Thank you man, I greatly appreciate that 🙌🔥🙏 Finally getting back to that connected state 🙏🙇‍♂️

[@KiwikimNZ]

I’m very sorry for your loss. It’s not easy to see and go on the journey with someone especially someone you love so very much. Sometimes we do not know how to deal with that grief and we can sink into that disassociated space as a way to survive. Hugs to you x

[@gailaltschwager7377]

Thank you!

[@jollywanka7666]

Thank you Jordan.

[@jordanthornton]

You are most welcome, Jolly!

[@Estefania-rv6yc]

Oh , man I wish I could afford a workshop with you... Okay thoughts feed back : playing an instrument ( even if it is the flute badly) can be a source of healing and grounding when times get hard. To all the women out there that get obsessed about a guy ( basically the possibility of receiving and giving romantic and sensual love) we should create a " club " where we simply go for walks and then give each other big hugs! Taking pilates again ( not just the gym) will help me as I am trying to grow out , of a traumatic romantic disillusion. As a highly sensitive person, after these recent emotional bruces, I can see how my mind distorts reality, there is a dissociation there. I can finally see it, because of the level of pain this break up has caused me. May we HEAL!!

[@jordanthornton]

Beautiful intentions, thank you for doing the work in realtime.

[@shan1xxx]

I have body dysmorphia, social anxiety and have been dissociating since I was a child. This is the FIRST time the message has really sunk in that it is ok to love your body/self and that is not the same as feeling grandiose about it, it’s not a selfish act. I really got caught on the idea that to be a healthy human I need to take responsibility and sever connection to my internal/external need for validation/care and the pain/confusion it causes me. What you’re saying is that it’s ok to love ourselves and that is needed. It’s not a selfish act. I don’t need to continue to protect myself. Why have I never heard it in this way 😂 thank you

[@jordanthornton]

Things are getting better, you got this. Appreciate you sharing some of your story here.

[@heidirachaelpieterse5109]

"took one look at my shirtless Body and realised that I was sick in the mind and sick in the body." I completely relate to this. My awakening rocoess started wit this very realisation. "look at your Body. This didn't just happen. You did it to your body, over time and over and over again , and then lied about it." you're not that fat...you are perfect as you are... I created bubbles of delusion in my mind to escape the reality that I'd made." enough " I said. I decided to acknowledge the state of my overfed and under-exercised body. I cried, mourned the loss of my beauty and vitality. Then I started to ask quesitons. Why was this an issue at all? Surely being healthy should be a natural thing? If you are of healthy mind... And then I started to quesiton the health of my mind. I then started to notice my food addiction. Which I noticed came from my mother Which I noticed came from an entire generation of women in denial about their toxic relationship to their food and their bodies. Complete mind f. I decided to begin work on my mental health and the weight sorted itself out. I learned that food is for nutrition never for guilt. I learned that obsession can and will occupy all your time, thought process and energy. I learned that having a healthy Body is incredibly important if you want to be balanced in the mind. In fact, it was all created this way. Use your eyes, see the body. Are you treating it well? Yes? Then you are conscious of what your Body needs and it will reward you for it by being healthy strong balanced of hormones. No? Start asking why. Are you addicted to food? Probably have underlying depression issues. I'm so glad you shared this abiut yourself thank you. I try share my story aswell I feel that I can really help alot of women still stuck in that same trap that had me for awhile. But i often sense distaste or outright disgust in most people I share this story with. Why is that, do you think?

[@maciejsiedziako680]

I do like that you curse sometimes. It really brings the point home.

[@jordanthornton]

Sometime it's necessary - fuck yeah hahah

[@shelbyazure4201]

WOW - loved this video. Thank you so much for the book recommendations. THis was a great video!! :)

[@jordanthornton]

You're so welcome! Make sure to get those books ASAP!

[@uJarLorDxCa]

Thanks Jordan!

[@jordanthornton]

You are most welcome!

[@yasmenebadereldin]

Essay comment delivery for Jordan ✉️ more like this actually haha 📦 Such a great video🌙 I like how you pointed out this Mass dissociation we are all in. As the years go by it gets more and more visible if you only “looked up”. And the scary part is, even if someone isn’t glued to a screen you can see they aren’t really there. I learned about dissociation a few years ago and it gave me peace naming my experience. As a child, I felt like the world wasn’t “real” as if everything was a dream. And my internal imaginative world was more my reality. I would tell people this and they would look at me like I am crazy 😂 not to mention I had horrible eye sight. Couldn’t even see a few inches In front of me. So the world actually looked hazey. I think it works for a while until you grow older and have to BE in the world to take care of your needs. Similar to you, I was very much into video games, because they gave me that sense of Vitality. I would choose characters that were daring, lone wolfs who were CAPABLE. Who had influence over their circumstances. Could handle the outer world with Grace. I think that’s what it was. I felt I had no influence…incapable. Unless I was in a game or my carefully constructed world. And the more you dissociate the more desensitized you become. I started to notice, I couldn’t even enjoy food anymore…the games or anything. Our culture says you need a bigger, better thing to stimulate you. On contrary, we need to learn to feel again. I totally agree with you on the importance of grounding yourself in this body. I loved your point about it being a gift to experience this form. I mean we can directly move things, make things, change things in such a dense plane. How sick is that 🤩 But I do want to mention, on that point to learning to feel again. That’s only going to happen when we trust ourselves to navigate the outer world. And we can’t build trust if we don’t make contact. Because soon your inner rich world will become as dull as the real one, except this time it will feel like betrayal. Everyone is different. But the way out of my dissociation was competence. For someone else it may be connection, expression, or anything else that’ll coherence them to step out of themselves. But I realized, the only way the world will feel ok to me is if I am Competent. Which is quite poetic actually, because to become competent you have to first make peace with your incompetence (which is why I dissociated) Your powerlessness at the start of something. So I took on experiences, jobs, adventures, that challenged my comfort level and nothing but trust for myself came from it. I was ok. And life was beautiful. The little moments still get me sometimes. Start bawling out of no where from the site of a pretty flower or smile of a stranger. But I’d rather be like that than feel nothing. ALSO I cannot deny the healing power of children. They are the embodiment of presence. And I have to admit, spending my entire life around them has showed me life is beautiful if you don’t fear it 🦋 Thank you once again 🙏🏻

[@jordanthornton]

I can relate so much to your childhood experience of awful eyesight (didn't get glasses until age 10 and they were already -3.50, not sure how it didn't get picked up) + escape into the imaginal. Took me until I was 22 to learn that 'dissociation' was even a thing - amazing how it wasn't in my awareness. Your quote: "But I realized, the only way the world will feel ok to me is if I am Competent. Which is quite poetic actually, because to become competent you have to first make peace with your incompetence (which is why I dissociated) Your powerlessness at the start of something. " - FUCKING EXCELLENT. It's almost like you should be a full-time thinker and creator or something, Yasmene. Truly loved this comment, read it twice. Might read it a third.

[@SuperScre4m]

Hello! I want to somehow become involved in helping people better understand and navigate their lives so they may achieve more happiness in their lives but I have no idea where to begin with this "line of work". Whenever I get a chance to be there for someone and help them in a meaningful way, it sets my soul on fire and is the most fulfilling experience I can find in life and I so desperately wish i could find a way to do more of this for people. Thanks for your amazing work!

[@jordanthornton]

I understand what you're asking - I recommend checking out some of my videos and finding reading suggestions which will support you in gaining the 'skillset' and 'professional capacity' to make your intention a full-time reality. Highly recommend reading some of the humanistic psychologists like John Rowan (Ordinary Ecstasy) and Carl Rogers (Client Centred Therapy) - will give you a good taste for this line of work.

[@SuperScre4m]

@@jordanthornton tyvm! :) you are wonderful

[@celinpiotrowsky259]

So I understand your argument on how to get back the feeling of your body, having a body and I actually recently had some situations where I stopped and felt "hey, these legs are mine"... and you said "if you truly love yourself". Well what if I don't (or don't yet) love myself? Because this "love" is still burdened with a lot of sadness. Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you did.

[@celinpiotrowsky259]

Nvm, I found your Vid on Selflove 🖤

[@missmagillicutty6721]

Thank you🤗

[@jordanthornton]

No problem 🌲

[@incanthatus8182]

Thank you so much for addressing our questions 😄 So far, getting back into our body has been very challenging. We keep getting very dysregulated when we try doing simple exercises like saying "this is my hand" and lightly tapping it. It feels terrifying to try claiming this body as our own after so much has happened to it. But our partner has a cute habit of addressing different body parts when we're cuddling like "Hi leg" *hugs leg*, or putting their hand on our body when we're exercising, to help us notice which muscles we're using. It feels less threatening with them 👀

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you for asking the question - and I’m glad this helped. I’m sorry that you’re facing difficulties, but glad that you have support. Finding a way to consistently train hard in a way that anchors full bodily presence seems to be the next step - sensory work and reducing overwhelm being a wonderful foundation, the reclaiming will feel most authentic in expressing via more enjoyable physical exertion (it gets safer as your progress, building muscle in exposure) 🌲

[@incanthatus8182]

@@jordanthornton Yes, we've already noticed that we feel more confident about knowing how we're moving when we exercise 😄 it's still a long way to go to being truly embodied 😅 But there's definitely progress

[@jordanthornton]

@@incanthatus8182 Love hearing this, thank you for doing your work and once more for prompting this important discussion!

[@hannahranford5593]

Hi Jordan, I've recently found your channel. I've really liked the content and how you communicate your information.

[@jordanthornton]

Welcome aboard! Make sure to check out the books! 🌲

[@maplenook]

Think of all the problems that would vanish if people had to get back to producing their own food.

[@jordanthornton]

Many beautiful elements of modern living, like this conversation you and I are having, but I agree that we have lost our connection to the land (generally speaking) - and this would have healing impact.

[@albenoit4378]

If only I had known about this at 16 and not 15 years later lol

[@jordanthornton]

I feel exactly the same hahaha - nonetheless, hope this helps.

[@mehenra485]

Interesting, just yesterday i tried to internalise the mantra "above all else the sanctity of the body". Nowerdays i get lost in what i presume is very meaningful work, but in the process i tend to forget to eat or to sleep, that has taken a toll on me where i had some kind of pain in the throat area and upper torso, then i had to rest for a few days and couldn't do anything. So after all it wasn't even productuve. It seems just so hard to disengage from a line of thought, when the thought seems so important, that is definitely something i have to work on.

[@jordanthornton]

Likewise sometimes forget to eat when involved in the process - I can relate. It's about building confidence that the 'line of thought' will not disappear - post it notes can be useful to leave 'anchors' for us to tap back into, for example. Wishing you well.

[@mehenra485]

@@jordanthornton Thank you, i will try it out.

[@romadabos4534]

Can you do a video on the collective boredom , apathy , and screen adiction . Thanks.

[@jordanthornton]

Potentially, yes! Thank you for asking.

[@gonnabapro]

Can you speak about what if you’re afraid to be embodied? How do you gently ease into say a physical movement practice without forcing your system and overriding the fear?

[@jordanthornton]

Screenshotted, and I will absolutely do my best. Wishing you well in the meantime.

[@gonnabapro]

@@jordanthorntondid you ever address this in a video? Also wondering if you recommend a certain amount of physical exercise daily or weekly or if it doesn’t matter?

[@jordanthornton]

@@gonnabapro Yes, it's episode 81/500 - released July 2023. Went back and took a look, check out the video and I appreciate you following up 11 months later. Hope this one helps.

[@gonnabapro]

@@jordanthornton how do I find that episode? What’s it called? 81/500?

[@jordanthornton]

@@gonnabapro I’m Scared Of My Own Body & Feel Anxious All The Time - Inner Work Library [81/500]

[@stickylolly]

I've recovered from complete disasotiation to find myself completely disasotiated on other levels.... Substance addiction sex addiction, obese, disconnected from everyone and everything... Now not so much but still... Still not there 😞... Can you be disconnected in other dimensions as well as this place at the same time?... Many thanks Monica

[@jordanthornton]

Keep working on this, it sounds like you've learned many things so far and integration does take time. Patient grounding, Monica.

[@stickylolly]

@@jordanthornton I've learned alot... Guided to your channel with no doubt... Your videos have helped me lots I'm going to slowly absorb them... Ordered Spiritual Emergency looking forward to moving a little more forward with new knowledge.. Many thanks to you

[@jordanthornton]

@@stickylolly Excellent book - enjoy! Many more videos on the way.

[@azona3633]

Hi I have a question Does dissociative disordar cause memory loss? I tend to not remember my childhood at all due to childhood truma

[@jordanthornton]

Yes, this is a common experience for people - to varying degrees. I'm sorry to hear this, and wish you well with your healing - truly.

[@tnijoo5109]

Dissociation seems a lot like alexithymia. Healthy Gamer had a good video about alexithymia. Maybe they kind of go together.

[@jordanthornton]

Interesting - I'll have to check this out!

[@jamiebirtles-crute5388]

Can you put up a list of all the top 50-100 books to read for inner work? That would be extremely helpful :-)

[@jordanthornton]

Absolutely, and I already have lol Look back on this channel, I've got a series of 52 episodes (Inner Work Essentials) which took me years to make available for free on this channel. Link is in the description.

[@beatrice6209]

I believe I lived dissociated for a very long time due to my trauma (extremely dark one), and at one point I had the so called "out of body" experience, which at that age and being an atheist, I took it as a bad joke of my mind. I wanna know your opinion on this. How would you call it? Mainly because you don't really blend the spiritual/metaphysical into your videos, but after studying a bit the subject I struggle to see normal or even possible to become so dissociated that you can see yourself (your own body) from an external perspective.

[@jordanthornton]

I'm sorry to hear this, and get what you're saying. You'll get a lot from a book like Trauma And The Soul by Donald Kalsched. It speaks into this exact issue very accurately.

[@beatrice6209]

@@jordanthornton I know. I did started the book but I didn't get to finish it. I did wanted to know your perspective on it... Mainly because you've mentioned you had your trauma as well. I like a more "abused to abused" type of conversation rather than a Harvard academic and a low class abused individual. If you know what I mean... Thanks for replying though.

[@dianevierra781]

I'm not sure if this quite meets the criteria for questions, but here it is:Do you believe that a person could genuinely be born evil? Would you consider it naive or foolish to attempt to heal, for example, a psychopath through these methods?

[@dorefromDetroit]

Please go read or listen to kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4avgGCBq7OVqKM

[@dorefromDetroit]

Robert Sapolsky Stanford U has interesting perspectives on crime and Punishment

[@jordanthornton]

I'm not sure if I am the person to answer this question, but I've screenshotted your comment and will potentially return to this if I have any valuable insights. Got some ideas, but maybe not enough for a full video. Will have a think, Diane.

[@ckatt352]

Any thoughts on fainting /psychogenic non-epileptic seizures? I know they're thrown in with the dissociation diagnose. But i must say they're to very different experiences. I suffer greatly from this and haven't found the right therapy to help me. Maybe you have a different take on it, that I haven't heard before. I know that jung fainted alot and maybe he wrote about it?

[@jordanthornton]

Sadly don’t have much here to offer you, but I wish you well in your search - welcome to the channel also 🌲

[@ckatt352]

@@jordanthornton thanks for responding 😊

[@HH-1111]

🐞 🐞🐞

[@jordanthornton]

🌲🌲

[@rinsung7519]

Hey jordan, Do you have any suggestions for a likely neurodivergent person who has a really disruptive time with eye contact and masking ?

[@jordanthornton]

I wouldn’t be the person to give great advice on this, unfortunately. I’m wishing you the best nonetheless - keep at it.