Healing Religious Trauma with Dr. Diane Langberg

[@deshondaroberts9080]

I feel so validated! Amen, these are words that I’ve shared often with church leaders only to be labeled rebellious, prideful, disunified, critical, arrogant and more! Thank you for doing this. I have begun to seek counseling to heal.

[@cb71551]

I can identify with your experience. I try to remember that although the individual is important to God his Kingdom still must move forward. I think of David’s relationship to Saul. David made space for Saul because he revered God and he held out until God made the necessary change.

[@dolphinlover6311]

But His kingdom isn’t one church! Not sure if you are referring to that here… Yahweh (the LORD) is much bigger than the church the male in this video goes to makes Him out to be!!! May your eyes be opened to God Almighty! He is not limited by people’s understanding. You limit your experience of God if you think He is.

[@dolphinlover6311]

I was labeled all this things too girl! You are loved, loving, and loveable and made in God’s image! Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise! Use your voice and experience!

[@BuzzingBee3]

I went through thing same. There are LOTS of us

[@DarthTwilight]

I've been sitting here binging Diane. I grew up in a church cult that is primarily comprised of, and run by my family. I have spent almost 10 years, almost 7 of those being saved, trying to figure all of this out by myself. I've emailed pastors and Messianic rabbis from the west coast of the United States, all the way to Tel Aviv. The most I got was sympathy and no answer that satisfied the issue. Usually, I was just met with an attack on my sin issues that I have; primarily, a history of drinking alcohol because I don't know how to fix anything. Everything Diane is saying checks out COMPLETELY. I've been church-hopping for years because, after growing up in a high-control environment, I have a finely-tuned radar for falsehood, dismissal, manipulation, superficiality, narcissism, and people who want me to be "someone else's problem" because, God forbid they actually HELP somebody in the body of Christ. It is very true that the church, as a whole, does NOT like it when you think for yourself. After about 4 months of being in a Calvary Chapel that, for all intents and purposes, has their heads screwed on straight, I quickly discovered that they are more interested in the authority of pastors and elders than they are in helping the wounded. If you question the "help" or anecdotal/subjective experience -based advice of a church elder? You are just rebellious and unteachable. A friend of mine once put it rather succinctly: the church is the only army that shoots its own wounded. "Sit down, shut up, and think/do as you are told," is SO prevalent that it's mind-boggling. I have spent many years of my life afraid of, and angry at God. I have spent so many years of my life thinking, "If I don't conform, and do, and follow the rules, and waste myself for the sake of my family, God is going to -at best- air out my sins in front of everyone at the Bema Seat so they can all have a good, long, slow holier-than-thou head shake; Then, after stripping me of any reward whatsoever, He'd give me eternally-humiliating duties like 'Slave of Slaves to My Adoptive Family and Their Chosen Few,' 'Purse-Carrier and Money Tree' to my adoptive, immediate family, or 'Eternal Butt-Wiper' to all of Hallmark Baptist Church of Mauldin, South Carolina, (so you know who to avoid.) ...At worst, I'd be sent to hell by the judgment of my adoptive family-by-proxy-of-God-as-secondhand-judge-in-their-favor, as they all look down their haughty noses in nodding approval, or as they cry and say "We warned you, and you never listened! Now God will do with you as you deserve for not following your Grandfather's beliefs that you so hated!" This kind of trauma is CRIPPLING. DO NOT DO ANY OF THESE THINGS TO PEOPLE. This is basically"Whoever offends one of these little ones who believes in me to stumble," territory!

[@donnamariendukwu23]

I appreciate how the Dr brings our eyes, heart and mind back to Jesus which is the whole point of Christendom. Jesus is who we follow not man.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

I couldn't agree more!

[@lori6512]

I watched this after seeing the post on Facebook. I originally commented over there, but then deleted it, because I realized even making that comment did not feel safe, where it risked being seen in my friend’s newsfeeds. This really does speak to so much of what I experienced, as a survivor of complex trauma, entering the church 30 years ago, in search of Jesus’ unconditional love, healing, and the promised life to the full. What I found was a theology that encouraged me to ignore my trauma and silence my own voice, in the name of “self denial.“ Of course, having been conditioned, in my formative years, to the idea that my own thoughts and feelings were invalid, and that survival depended on “falling into line” and keeping quiet, I bought into that teaching hook, line, and sinker. I am now realizing just how damaging that was, and how it set me up for a major physical/mental/emotional breakdown I experienced three years ago. I have done much healing, which has helped me put this in a better perspective, but I still struggle. I am currently finding most of my encouragement with other groups that offer support that the ICOC seems unequipped (and in some cases, unwilling) to provide, and where vulnerability is met with compassion, rather than with shame.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

Lori I want to thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your need for safety. I am sorry for the pain you’ve experienced but grateful how you have been able to grow through it. As strange as it sounds, sometimes people have to leave in order to heal. I know there are people who will interpret my comment as controversial or cynical but healing is a journey. I hope many others find their way as well. I do believe that some people are able to stay in their fellowship and can heal as well, different strokes for different folks.

[@lori6512]

@@TruthTraumaTheology Yes I agree. I’ve known dozens of people over the years, coming from backgrounds similar to mine, who recognized this much earlier than I did. They may not have been able to name it at the time, but they realized on some level that the church dynamic was creating unhealthy patterns for them, so they left. We used to lump them into a category called “fall aways.” But I know many of them still faithfully love Jesus, and thankfully, many have also found hope and healing in other places. As for me, maybe I’m a slow learner, but I’m still figuring out why it took me 30 years to realize my needs are better met elsewhere. And that it’s OK to take care my needs. Kyle, thank you for this video, your work, and your response to my comment.

[@dolphinlover6311]

Lori- I think you will really find some healing and validation of your experience on a podcast called the Reclamation by Aldo B Martin! My heart goes out to you! You are not alone!!! Many people have been damaged in the name of Christ! THAT is not Christ! It is a high control group that doesn’t have your best interest in mind but rather its own.

[@victoriale2433]

This woman is such a GEM! Wow, Kyle - so many mic drop moments and 🤯🤯🤯 for me. She made me tear up and gave me chills! Her wisdom and insight are profound! Her thoughts on how we tend to value gifts over character was spot on and how we do a disservice to ministry staff by not encouraging self-care and self-reflective work to work through past wounds. How can we lead the flock to check our hearts and get healing if our collective leadership is not expected to do the work?? I think it also is a collective church culture that celebrates extraversion vs. introversion. Both are essential but like she said, humans tend to overdevelop or underdevelop. Wow wow wow! Would love to hear from her again!! Thank you, brother!!!

[@stephenadika9673]

It’s so heart breaking that those who are supposed to give voice to the voiceless are the ones who took their voice in the first place.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

Stephen thank you for summarizing that really well. I pray those who were stripped feel stirred to heal

[@michaelhagerman7829]

So thankful to hear professional talk about this from a Christian perspective! Thanks and God bless 🙏

[@mariea2470]

“God is calling you to a truth and a greater wholeness than you have known.” Thank you for having the courage to ask the truly challenging questions, Kyle. I hope you know how much this has resonated with many, and given them hope. ♥️

[@dolphinlover6311]

I had to leave a church that was very abusive. I only had the courage & internal ability to leave after 26 years. It was so incredibly challenging. I say I “had to leave” because it was so incredibly unsafe for me. I had trauma in my family of origin and didn’t know it when I joined at 18yo. They compounded the trauma sadly. It has taken me many years and lots of money (counseling) to finally find who God truly made me to be not just what people thought I should be. What you said about some churches think they are the only one… was exactly where I was. They def put the cult in culture. I couldn’t heal if i stayed… I was experiencing ptsd every week at service. I’m so grateful God is not only in one church… and that I have a choice!!

[@lori6512]

I’m just now watching this video… But what you have described mirrors my experience in so many ways. Childhood trauma, compounded by church trauma. Soooo hard to work through.

[@Naymichelle76]

Wow! I don’t know your full story, but you explained my experience very well! I’m seeking therapy also and am doing so much better.

[@jaye3336]

💜💜💜

[@dolphinlover6311]

Lori, my heart goes out to you! I don’t know about you but I developed an autoimmune disease, addisons disease, where my adrenal glands are actually destroyed. I have to take steroids for the rest of my life in order to stay alive. I have begun speaking out against the church I went to because i don’t want anyone else to go through what I did. My hope is that I can (and you) go from victim to survivor to thriver to warrior! God bless you!

[@dolphinlover6311]

@Naomi… don’t know what church u went to um but if it’s related to ICOC… check out the Reclamation podcast by Aldo B Martin. You are not what people tell you but who God made u and that is a beautiful, loving, loved & loves Le soul! Ur made in Gods image and He is for you NOT against you.

[@christinearsenault7778]

"Silences voice"! Oh my goodness! This is exactly what I experienced.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

I’m sorry Christine. I pray you are continue to find healing and strength.

[@mesawaggoner2169]

It blocks truth telling. I am experiencing this. It has led me to completely tear down my faith and have to build it back on CHRIST ALONE.

[@michellepeterson6320]

Trauma theology...that's all I need to know about this video.

[@fredhaight2127]

Love listening to educated, well spoken people without anger, just facts. Thanks

[@spmods007]

This is Angela - I'm using my husband's computer to type this message. ha I just want to say a huge THANK YOU! I almost cried listening to this...your youtube channel has been beyond amazing! and look at all the people you are helping! WOW!! And just a side note, Diane has a beautiful smile!

[@JoyLady-1966]

Wow I just found your platform just in time…this was awesome…I am ready to unpack my sexual and domestic abuse suffered while growing into my 55 year miracle self…

[@theologytherapist]

I love how you speak on the idea that forming the voice is key in steps towards healing from religious abuse. I've noticed this "breakthrough" with some of my clients!

[@godschild2432]

Amazing Christian counselor

[@blessings28]

This was so POWERFUL!! I'm thankful God allowed me to come across this. I am seeing these things discussed play out in living color in my local church and it brings clarity and confirmation with what I have been seeing, sensing and seeking God clarity for. This was a blessing. Thank you both!

[@jamilagubbels1687]

A body that does not follow it's head is a sick body" so true, Dr Langberg! Jesus is the head of the church. By his wounds we are healed and he left us an example to follow. This video expanded my heart, mind and perspective. Thank you!

[@dixiethompson3884]

What I love about Diane, is she gives me the permission to recognize where I have been hurt, instead of being expected to pretend it isn't there. Right now because of how much I have been harmed in the church and in group settings I am giving myself permission to take a break from "trying" to be a part of the group. I always wind up hurt and feeling unwanted. I also love that she doesn't expect people to just "get over it" but she says it takes time.

[@ThatGirl912]

"Systems are so wired to preserve themselves" 🔥 🔥 🔥

[@BuzzingBee3]

Amen and AMEN! Dr. Langberg hits it spot on. So thankful for her leadership and VOICE for soooooooo many people.

[@lorihale326]

This was a phenomenal message. Thankful for this healthy dialogue!!

[@lauramcgregor8298]

Thank you for this interview. I have been through religious trauma and God is raising me up to tell the truth of Him to those systems. Diane is a breath of fresh air.

[@givingpresence]

I’m just impressed that there’s some humans out there who trusted their parents enough to speak up and not be silenced because I’m still unlearning those patterns. I fit all the descriptions that y’all said. I did trauma therapy for years but it wasn’t until I used psychedelic assisted type of support it didn’t consolidate. I’m barely waking up, even after self help, somatic therapy, all those things were needed because I kept finding hurtful people. My brain didn’t know the difference between healthy or unhealthy. I just found unhealthy even with my ability to be conscious it wasn’t enough! Anyway thank you 🙏

[@lynnmcintosh]

Thank you so much. This has happened to me, I appreciate you have Dr Langberg on.

[@VeraHull1966]

This was such an amazing conversation. So respectful. God is glorified by this. The CHURCH is the BODY OF CHRIST. ❤️ Love it!

[@shirleyj.24]

Wow! This was so gracefully expressed with love and gentleness, yet so truthful. Thank you for bringing everything back to Jesus & the pearls of wisdom you've both shared with us. This has been a healing experience for me. Thank you & may God continue to bless what you do to edify His people. Many thanks to God and to the both of you!

[@joannewood6566]

Ive been through soooo much abuse that I dont think I will ever get over it. I went to church and every prayer meeting, praying for healing from the trauma, but just experienced spiritual abuse with the church too. When does it end?

[@kynak.9275]

This was refreshing. Thank you!

[@ivanasimic2072]

Life saving message for me. Thank God for you dr. Diane.

[@djanysalerno3100]

Thank you so much both!. So much wisdom, Christ centered truths that brings a lot of understanding. It brings clarity and healing…

[@nadinewalters3152]

Love the statement that God used flawed people and we’re going to die flawed. So real

[@thevillageofnod]

I came to my faith through the 12 Step program and had an amazing heavenly encounter after a tragic auto accident, so I have really worked at my relationship with Jesus and people and glad for my foundation . I found myself at a charismatic organization as an employee where the leader committed sexual clergy abuse and was fired after 2 months, which I was grateful for because it was so toxic and everything was falling apart. This conversation is so helpful, a truly helpful perspective. Thank you!

[@ecornett92]

Revisiting this video now, and it's still soooo refreshing. Thank you, dear friend!

[@moufidtohme8716]

Perfectly said !! A highly needed subject!! God bless you 🙏

[@madelenewhite1576]

I'm struggling. The doctor makes a lot of sense. Not trusting myself when something feels amiss has been huge and when current pastor uses scripture to negate my feelings. I'm leaving my church but I worry that I'm shutting too many doors. Right now my life feels chaotic. Any help would be appreciated

[@heatherfantini115]

She was amazing- and I live in Jenkintown Pa. Now I must meet her....

[@MS-kc1ip]

Super powerful video! Thank you for sharing your wisdom that God has given both of you with the rest of us!

[@cro188]

I had a meeting w Miss Langberg about 25 years ago. I was in my 20s. Without ever asking me about my calling, she pointed me towards a career in social work. I made one of the worst mistakes of my life. I will never trust again anything a professional says. I look back with the casual disregard she advised me with total disbelief that someone would do this.

[@Naymichelle76]

May I ask what made you decide to no longer pursue social work? I ask because I started out wanting to go into education, but was encouraged to try social work. I got my BSW, but lost interest shortly after graduation. I too wondered if I made a mistake. Would you be interested in sharing your experience? Thank you.

[@adamslaura768]

Not that this changes your experience, but I once had a counselor who really helped me, and I told a friend. She said that same counselor really harmed her and she never felt heard. What I came away with is that we are all human. Sometimes we hit it out of the park with one person … and really strike out with another. Maybe even accidentally hit them with the ball we were trying to serve. I think patterns are more accurate than particulars. Someone with a track record of trustworthiness should be given grace when they screw it up sometimes. That isn’t to say there was no harm done. Could you perhaps write her and tell her your experience? I know I would want to know if someone “out there” felt harmed by me-especially when I so desperately want to be helpful.

[@susandumbill8805]

Yes, if you could write to her it might be good. She needs to know, as it's so life-changing to encourage something like a particular career path, and the implications if it's wrong for a person are considerable. Something I'm still learning to do (even in my '60's) is to take time to really think, pray and decide myself, as often others mean well, but can get it wrong. By the way, I did mental health nursing. Sometimes I wonder if I might have been better sticking with general nursing, but Jesus worked it out for my good, and for the good of others.

[@veraatiga-anderson8307]

Gripping and timely for such a time as this. Thank you to you both for this important dialogue x

[@brock91113]

Thank you for putting this conversation online. This is good and needs to be said. I have a person in my life that is going through this stuff daily. She needs to hear the things. As do so many others. I do feel compelled to offer a better take on fundamentalism. As with many things that important in life, the fundamentals are important. But if it is actually called fundamentalism, that’s another level and not healthy.

[@ivanasimic2072]

Thank you both!!!

[@ranjeetm4612]

Thank you so much both for this incredibly insightful talk. Hope it leads many to a journey of healing. I appreciate all the work you're doing Kyle, so grateful to join you from the UK 🇬🇧 🙏

[@terryangelos2947]

Brilliant, deeply insightful.

[@Eclectifying]

I just discovered her and I LOVE her!! She is so right. Thank you for this interview. I subscribed to this channel as well and look forward to seeing more truthful content.

[@rachelsimms8329]

Pray for me. Thank you. Very insightful word.

[@michaelsharp1347]

Kyle my guy!!!! I am so proud of you! I always knew you would do something amazing with your life!

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

Michael! Great to hear from you!!

[@leahwilliams3618]

Awesome message

[@charmianebhogiaye380]

Incredibly helpful insightful

[@gromgal310]

this was soooo incredibly good with so much wisdom! thank you so much for this interview🙌🙌

[@chazisflying]

Greetings and the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I just happened upon this video and you were ministry and podcast today and I am pleased that I have done so. This was very helpful and very informative and I shall listen to more of your talks. May the Lord bless you, and keep you in all things, and always for all eternity and Jesus Christ our only Lord and Savior. Amen.

[@joakimselander2606]

So helpful. This is applicable to cults as well.

[@michaelsharp1347]

This was an amazing interview BTW love this so much

[@aliprov31gar]

Thank you for your channel trying to get through more videos. and this video Dr. Diane Langberg talks about some heavy hard stuff, I am thankful how she doesn't demonize the victims. Question on that, do you have any videos in the works, what Christian counseling is and what it is Not ie deliverance ministry? Thank you again for your videos!

[@dolphinlover6311]

I appreciated so many topics you brought up. Keep up the good work both of you!

[@Maxandshe]

JESUS..... We're called to Him, by Him, and FOR Him!!

[@matthewblair7224]

Mannnn!!! This one hitting on all cylinders. So much to unpack and process!

[@saraj2]

God bless you both ❤ ❤

[@tiarailic4086]

THANK-YOU ❤

[@grayintheuk8021]

My story, sorry if it is long but it's important to explain my situation. I have been diagnosed with PTSD through religious trauma. Many decades ago my church thought it was a good idea to scare young children with the 'living fear of hell'. Their idea was if you scare the children enough they will never leave that 'faith'. They did this with repeated very graphical images and sounds of screaming while being told horror stories of hell. Sometimes they would bring out 'that small bottle' which was the worst for an under 5 year old child I can tell you. It contained sulphur and they would make you smell it while holding hot water bottles on your arms. All this with the screaming sounds, graphical images and hideous stories of constant burning. It sort of worked, I remained a Christian for many decades but could never shake this trauma which left me with the worst nightmares each night. Waking in a cold sweat screaming out to wake the whole house. It lasted for decades and was no fun. Eventually, to better know this god I research. Actual real research and not from apologetics websites. This also took me to therapy which I still have to do to this day to manage my PTSD. I think because the trauma happened at such a young age and for so long it was reinforced through many decades of time so it is different to move away from. Previously, to actual real and helpful therapy my church would try to cast out demons which of course is nonsense but I did not know this at the time. Bell, book and candle is no substitute for real therapy! My research allowed me to realise the false nature of the alleged supernatural world so I became a non believer. I had no choice as a person needs to first be convinced of a claim before they can believe. Finding out the truth, I had no good reasons to remain convinced of the nonsense that filled the head of an under five year old child. I find it interesting that at last religious trauma has finally been recognised and people can receive help for this. My hope is that childhood indoctrination before the age of critical thinking is banned just as smoking in a car with young children is banned now here in the UK. The problem is the world's religions rely too much on this indoctrination method of children and there is too much money (like the tobacco industry) to effect a change. Plus many of the adults are the ones making these decisions and they are effected themselves by their own indoctrination. I urge anyone with such beliefs to think back to when they first heard about their particular deity. Who was it from and when did they learn about it? With what evidence other than, 'of course there is a god' now shut up and eat your lunch. If anyone reading this has 'just always' know about their god, chances are they too were indoctrination by their families and slightly worse, their families didn't even know they were doing it as it was done to them. My hope is better education will eventually stop this geographically based religions (Hindus in Nepal, Christians in the USA bible belt, Muslim in Iraq etc) and people will stop filling the heads of young children with 'their' beliefs if whatever the claims cannot be substantiated. Let them get to 18 years of age and then tell them about all the worlds religions together. They will have their own critical thinking skills to determine the truth. If it is true then it will be shown to be true at the age of 18. Personally I wished I were born in these times as I feel we are slowly coming out of the dark ages. 60-70 years ago people did not understand the importance of therapy and that we all have mental health needs. I honestly hope this story helps someone else Very best to all - stay safe and well.

[@aromaofhope]

Thank you for sharing. I too grew up with the fear of hell hammered into me, and now I have very little interest in Christianity at all. I simply burned out from trying to keep that hard-core god of theirs happy. Much love to you on your journey.

[@grayintheuk8021]

@@aromaofhope Many thanks Barbara, I still find it sad that I was indoctrination without my consent into a religion no one can prove as a child. I then went on to 'waste' so many years mumbling about in cold churches talking to myself. Take care and best wishes Gray

[@mckinleycameron6848]

Thank you for sharing your story. The concept of hell demands so much power over the people who believe in it.

[@grayintheuk8021]

@@mckinleycameron6848 Thanks this is true and does not easily go away. Best Gray

[@grayintheuk8021]

@@bathemeinchampagne Many thanks, I agree fully. This is what actually happened to me and the reason I share it is because, I feel I was in deep. Therefore, lucky to have deconstructed and found my way out. Anyway, I hope you find it useful to see what I had to overcome. Best Gray :) ======== This is my story, and it is over 'many decades'. There were so many years put into this. I was raised in Christianity in the UK and tried so hard for so long to have the relationship with the God everyone was telling me about. I was taken to church as a baby and stayed in Christianity for many 'many' decades. I was so frightened as a young child at the thought of burning in the never-ending lake of fire for all eternity that I could not sleep. As a child I cried myself to sleep and had hideous nightmares about hell (I still have these nightmares today). The people at my church, when I was a child, honestly thought this torment was better in the long run to save me. Making me so frightened that I would never stray from God and church. I was shown and given very graphical pictures and stories of the actual real hell that I would most certainly go to. I was under 5 years old for goodness sake! I was told I would never see my parents or family again and we all would be burnt. The priest/leader? even held a very hot water bottle on my arm until I cried out one evening. They really pushed home this image of hell. I would be told to smell sulphur from a bottle before being shown these graphical images and told stories of this never-ending torture. An eternity of never-ending torture for a crime of not knowing and being saved from this god. I knew no difference as this was in the culture with everyone around me at the time. I can pretty much assure anyone that I did try my hardest to know God to avoid this hell. There was never anything in return from this god that wanted to know each of us. Just total empty silence. People have prayed for me and worked to help me resolve this. I tried for decades and decades with nothing at all. I spent hours with anyone and everyone, church leaders, elders, tea drinking vicars you name it. I was re-baptised and also confirmed in a large cathedral. Born again asking for the forgiveness that was offered by Christ and never did I feel or notice anything and I was truly was open to anything no matter how small. People always told me they wished they believed half as much as I did. I've attended many churches and chapels as I've travelled with my work over the years and country. I've always fully Involved myself with church and chapel life, anything I could think of, I really tried. I read the entire bible so many times and fully cover to cover 3 times, twice on my own and once guided in a big group so we could understand all the points. It took years to go through each verse in the groups and discuss each part. I've humbled, asked, with an opened heart, honestly prayed, asking for forgiveness and forgave others. Walked and talked in Christ's name. There was still nothing. So many years of humbling and asking and absolutely nothing from god. I became so desperate that I sold all my possessions to live as Jesus told us to in Luke 12:33. At one point in my life and that action made me homeless. Just as Jesus commanded I gave all the money to the poor. Not worrying about anything like clothes like Luke 12:27 and Matthew 6:25. I opened my heart and asked Jesus to save me as I am a sinner. My church friend thought I was taken by evil spirits and left me alone and homeless. While either on the city streets or alone in the countryside under the stars, I prayed to the lord to provide, guide and be with me. I would be beaten up by drunk and sometimes not drunk people! I would pray that they were forgiven. I never took alcohol or drugs, I just prayed to the lord. I would still try to help other homeless people and share the word of god with them. Eventually, I became very ill and was taken in by a small group who helped people like me, and they had no belief in any deity. They just helped me and wanted nothing. There was no trying to preach empty words, just help. I think if not for them I would have died next winter. No Christian organisation helped, and I was turned away from many churches. They were only interested in 10% paying Christians. It was very sad to go on this journey and still not find or know god. However, when I found myself again and had some life back, I was straight back into seeking Jesus again. It's still shocking to me that it was only the secular community that eventually saved me as they could see the mess that religion had done to me. The living fear of hell as a child is just child abuse. I do not know how by anyone's standards I could have been a more honest loving open Christian. People around me told me what it was like to know god. The feeling of love and peace. I wanted that so much and have cried myself to sleep wanting it. So many people have such difficult lives, asking god to come to them and 'bang' they had it. Within days or hours, they had what I searched for years and years. I've seen people say they have this in church many times. I never did have one such experiences as I just cannot lie to myself. For me there was always total empty silence, utter nothing back from this alleged god of the bible. I will stop here as is a little long, I will leave out my deconstruction. This has left me now totally unconvinced and unable to believe anymore. A person needs to be convinced first of any claim before they can believe it. I no longer believe in the supernatural world 'people' tell you about.

[@anonymousf8764]

People will walk away from the church because they don’t understand that people make mistakes. People twist scripture and people misunderstand the text. What I wish people would do is actually read the Bible themselves when they feel something is off. I underwent a “deliverance” a few years ago and was physically beaten with a Bible while I had a panic attack in the corner of the room. Instead of abandoning my faith, I looked to the scriptures and started enduring more sound theology. I realized the church I was going to had it wrong. People are fallible. They make mistakes. And I truly think these people were well-meaning. They literally thought they were casting demons out of me. I can forgive them and move on. Jesus never told them to hit me with a Bible and beat the suicide out of me. So why would I abandon Jesus, my savior, because of what other people did?

[@susandumbill8805]

But without a doubt, there are some very abusive churches which people need to get out of. For example if the married senior pastor has a sexual interest in you. Or if he's an autocrat who punishes the slightest infraction as if it's high treason, or if your Pastor is a child trafficker. Some churches are just plain dangerous.

[@Maxandshe]

We were told "unless you come under authority, God will not give you authority". I felt the oppressive impact of this lie, and I cried. We were living as missionaries in Japan, and were subject to terrible authoritarian pastors!!! We didn't understand at the time, but it was indeed abusive.

[@ginag7844]

Powerful statements. I agree 100%, “If we leave, we don’t leave the church, we leave some people who are in the church.” Amen amen amen!!! “People will do what it takes to uphold the system because many rely on the need to be fed.” 1000%. Everything you stated is the same thing the Holy Spirit has revealed to me. We belong to the body the church. Jesus is the head, if we remain in him, he remains in us. Also, if we look into the history of the Catholic Church, guess what? They think that they are the original church. It’s incredible how organizations fool people. I believe for one main reason, the reliance of $$$$$$.

[@stevenbolin7688]

You're correct about doing the shadow work when in any teachers and leadership

[@jayjohnston2412]

Amen! 🙏🏻🙌❤️

[@RRS78999]

Excellent conversation and I pray that the body of Christ listens and gets back to Christ and prevents church hurt by doing a better job of preventing religious trauma. Especially, regarding the Covert Christian Narcissists (the wolves among the sheep) and their emotional and spiritual abuse and trauma.

[@Evelyne888]

Thanks for this wonderful message/interview and your sound statements! Still being a sort of young Jesus-lover, it seems to me that all those topics like abuse, traumas, character etc is being TOTALLY ignored in church settings. People seem to simply accept and tolerate every kind of manipulative, abusive, gas lighting, dominating, dishonest and religious behavior. I find it very challenging and am only finding the will to mingle with "Christians" because I love Jesus and I know that he wants us to gather. I do need firm boundaries. And I pray to find my way with Jesus loving people as the current official (unfortunately even protestant) church drifts away from God sooo much with all the one church (the "all inclusive" religion", saying yes to things God clearly says NO to etc etc. And I REALLY appreciate Diane's point regarding taking it seriously to wanting to be a safe person. And try to think "for" the patient rather than pushing through and relying on experiences with former patients of theirs, even insunating the patient is lying etc. How horrible! God bless you both!

[@brittanynoz7359]

Relatable.

[@richellepeace4457]

Spiritual abuse. I remember the terror as a 9 year old already understanding even death is no escape. I was never the same. As I grew I noticed I was an acceptable casualty to God. I have had to accept that through history there have billions who were extras, as I call them, because God has key players for this script and the extras work around what's good for them.

[@dariusj2839]

Very powerful, wish the interviewer wouldn’t speak so much but give more time to the expert. There is a season for everything..thanks for hosting this.

[@sergbastian5]

I wish more people could talk about how religious trauma affects the LGBTQ community. It feels very similar but there are nuances with identity politics and how abusive everyday comments are, which heterosexual and cis people just don't understand.

[@UkraineRocks344]

They dedicated plenty of time and empathy for pastor bullies though…. A single pastor’s whisper can destroy an entire life.

[@donnag.3611]

Two really good books to read are: The King and His Kingdom & Come Out of her my People both written by Peter Whyte.

[@philipdonovan5127]

I can be a very overlooked dynamic that people collectively or individually will use religious concepts to act out their shame and angst upon each other for covertly transgressive means, andusually, unconsciously. And the confusing thing is that that manifestation finds a way of coming off as being righteous or sanctimonious. I actually wonder if there is really anything more dangerous, to the extent that one may question if any type of formalized or socialized religion is just something that humanity is not equipped to manage in a safe way - that our development in the concept of God is something that is strictly individual and not able to be done as a herd.

[@shaunfoo2332]

Hello from Singapore. I need help. My teens and best years of my life were spent in a controlling cult like ministry. This ministry went through 2 church splits. Nobody here seems to understand my struggle to overcome this past.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

Shaun I am sorry to hear about your experience with a cult. I would recommend that you reach out to Dr. Langberg as she has more expertise in that area. I would also check out Dr. Foluso who has a channel called Skillset Counseling. She has free consultations and specializes in helping heal religious trauma.

[@shaunfoo2332]

@@TruthTraumaTheology thanks. I'll look it up. Deleting my comment soon

[@monikaalvarez3247]

AMEN!! All about the Holy Spirit!!

[@usernameanonymous158]

I must admit I think I do recognize the 'verse thrown in' ❤😢 I do not think that the church I go , is abusive.. but sometimes I feel very unheard..

[@AngelaMDavis-tf8tw]

Why would a person stay in a place that they have confirmed was not safe?

[@JonahPleatherbooth]

I was a pastors kid. My entire support network was tied up in the church.

[@nanabanana1983]

What about healing from trauma caused BY God. By fully trusting in Him and being absolutely destroyed by Him?

[@Infernus_Dante]

@@DavvyKatWhat happens if you don’t though? Will you be sent to hell? I’m not trying to provoke or be blasphemous or anything I’ve just been having a really hard time grasping this kind of thing

[@joannegavlick4797]

"Touch not my anointed and do them no harm" is the gavel and hammer abused by too many pastors and church leaders to SILENCE and CONTROL the sheep and valid voices that God has raised up. This along with the "faith message" and "faith movement" has and still is damaging the Body. I don't discount all of its teachings, but "name it and claim it" without redemptive revelation by Holy Spirit corrupts. I have repeatedly seen the desperate need for reform in doctrine and leadership by God's love, not authority. Now define "love" according to His Word.... We must contend for continued Reformation, and pray

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

??

[@sarahtushemereirwetwine3722]

🎉❤thank you for sharing. How does one handle spiritual principles of faith, confession of Jesus finished work and being authentic, valnurable talking about pain, trauma responses.

[@deb9784]

For someone who experienced trauma as a child and abuse to include sexual abuse in my marriages, how true is it that my imparements disabled me from being able to see clearly and stand up for myself both in and out of the church?

[@sarahtushemereirwetwine3722]

How do we find our voice with God? How do I have a voice with God?

[@Dymphnos3127]

I suppose being in the ICOC and being a trauma therapist makes it’s very easy to find work. Anything good that has come out of the ICOC could have been accomplished by any other group of any Christian or other religious or non-religious affiliation. But anything that is distinctive about the ICOC has only brought about a wake of destruction and trauma that may never be healed this side of the grave.

[@KISTOVI]

Every few minutes of this video is straigt to the point. Unortunatly I experiance another trauma recently , again in one of European I . Church of C. AFTER injoyiny decades od peace and Christ like liedership, and pastoring , and with new lieders we are back in age before Hanry Creete letter. Im totaly refusing to go back to that old pit of sickness.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

I am sorry for your painful experience I wish this was more widely addressed and acknowledged.

[@dolphinlover6311]

@kristovi Good for u! If anyone thinks they have the only way to Jesus, run far away! God is so much bigger than what we as humans can imagine! The organization is founded on division and “one” way (think, one baptism, one church, one lord). The fruit of it is division and that is not the fruit of the spirit! If you can get a podcast, listen to the Reclamation by Aldo b Martin! You will find healing and validation! And share it with others- many are hurting and need to hear these things! God is WITH you. You were made in His image. Hang on to your faith.

[@MajorPayne175]

Christians trying to justify trauma and separate it from the very religion that they follow. I have never seen a case of chasing your own tail as much as this. To whomever reads this, the only way to heal is to recognize the culprit, God and religion. Free yourselves, trust in your own intuition, make your own decisions, gain control of your own mind, live how you want to live, free yourself from mental slavery that is religion and God.

[@presentfuture7563]

Amen to that. Edit: Just adding, the abusive doctrines are a feature of Christianity, not a bug

[@marcimccann1109]

The "system" is mans creation not our Heavenly Father's. Jesus showed us how corrupt the religious system of his day was. I want Jesus, not the system!!!

[@larrys9879]

Conservative forms of religion, those that interpret the Bible wooden literally, often display cult like tendencies. Their environments tend to be legalist, controlling, and extremely ridged. That environment tends to embrace dogmatic indoctrination to the point of brain washing. The result of that is black and white thinking and beliefs that result in tunnel vision. I was part of such an environment for a significant part of my life. The result for me was atheism. I look at religion now as man made nonsense and something to be avoided.

[@atheistmom3591]

I’m a former preacher’s kid, raised in the same fundamentalists cult as the Duggars. I was really disappointed by this episode. It mixes the shit of Christianity with an attempt to heal religious trauma in a way that is very confusing and will keep people stuck. As long as Christians teach original sin and the need for salvation, Christianity will never stop being toxic. I stopped watching halfway through and just wanted to let you know this content was not helpful to me, as someone suffering from acute religious abuse.

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

I’m sorry it was not helpful to you. My heart goes out to the pain you’ve experienced and I can’t imagine how hard it has been for you. What would we have needed to change in order for it to be more helpful to you?

[@vls3771]

For my journey it's clear I am far better off without the invisible 2nd voice Getting lack to rational thinking and clear educated decision making has got my life back on track I was already a good person believed in God also it was sooo wrong to throw false guilt and negative preaching into my heart what time I wasted im now getting back ... Thank god ..

[@mariamkinen8036]

What is the topic about ? Yes . My eldest bro practices spiritual abuse. I'm human , not a cripple. Experiencing the fact that my feelings don't matter. Wish the rev.

[@HalcyonDaysRadiate]

Why is the focus on charismatics in doing a lot of the sin? There are many evangelical churches who do these abuses!!!

[@ConfusedCorgiPuppy-lh8nc]

For a lot of people, just having a relationship with God is enough. Not everyone feels the need to belong to a church

[@jeffcrane6101]

In this video, Dr. Langberg and Kyle Spears discuss the importance of people having a voice and agency. For example, Dr. Langberg says, “I think “voice” is really saying personhood, you know, you’re a human being created in the image of God, who has given you the ability to speak and have an impact in the world.” Yet, later in the video, Dr. Langberg mentions the importance of pastors adequately training to “care for the sheep.” So, on the one hand, she supports people in their religious traditions gaining voice and agency. On the other hand, she thinks of these same people as sheep. Those conceptualizations are at odds with each other. Telling people to grow in agency and then telling them they are sheep is a mixed message that is not beneficial. Saying to someone, “You have agency,” while simultaneously insisting they follow your rules, is gaslighting, an insidious form of manipulation.

[@shereeclinton8741]

This happened to me today. Because i simply said no. And then was barraged with indimidating speak. And i could could think was. This is usually silences people. But it also hides the strategy. So i held ground. Because of this was a relationship outsode there church there would ne now way you would treat me that way. So no.

[@WayneMarion]

Oops wrong channel for me. I thought this was for people that have saved themselves from religious trauma and abuse, not those wanting to continue it.

[@Window4503]

Keeping one’s faith isn’t the same as perpetuating religious abuse. Abuse isn’t inherent to Christianity. Christian culture is abusive. God’s Word can be misused to be abusive. But God himself is not abusive. The whole reason we can criticize the church for abuse is because God himself does so. Jesus goes into vivid detail about what will happen to those who abuse others spiritually.

[@Riley24513]

🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@michaelhagerman7829]

🔥👏🔥👏🔥👏🔥👏🙏💯🙏

[@jaclynrichmond1049]

Well how tricky the title of this is. Some hint your christ based would be helpful with a title like religious trauma

[@susannah7851]

17 mins: Character not Gifts. Love not Authority

[@defender7624]

Best thing I’ve ever done was leave church and religion. Nothing but complete bs!

[@TruthTraumaTheology]

I’m sorry your experience was hurtful and not reconcilable. I hope there is a new way to look at Jesus in the future for you.