How Do Men Deal with Eating Disorders and Body Image Issues

[@ponternal]

The worst part about male body dismorphia is not muscle but the parts you cannot change. If you are short or balding or have a small package it is socially acceptable to make fun of you.

[@terminaldeity]

That's not dysmorphia just insecurity

[@ImDissonance]

At 32:16 Dr K says "there may be body dismorphia about height" then he talks about leg lengthening surgery.

[@sebcigala273]

Smol pp

[@FakeNatty]

If you're short and balding, steroids would work great for you. No hair to loose, and you can get wider, even if you can't get taller 😆

[@dldietz82]

It is never socially acceptable to make fun of anybody, ever. Those that take part are always doing so to cover up there own deep seated insecurities. Truly confident people don't tear other people down.

[@sweetest4684]

Offering a friendly cyber-handshake to the fellas for female and male body dysmorphia solidarity 🤝 💚

[@mrs.quills7061]

Same here! It’s so sad what we all go through and in different ways. I’ve only suffered through the shames and harassment as having a female body, but this made me empathize so much for male bodies as well. It’s not right that society pushes so much stuff and that it’s normal to shame or joke about balding…

[@DamianSzajnowski]

Aww, you're the sweetest!

[@rolotomassi8767]

Okay.

[@kitsunevalentine]

🤝 🤝 🤝 Thank you fella. I suffered a lot (and still to a lesser degree) because of bdd and the frustration of just not seeing accurately my body vs how others percieved me. I suffered with EDs pretty much all my childhood and adolescence and it's a shame social media today encourages and worsens this type of behaviour. Stay strong

[@MassMultiplayer]

Ahimsa

[@jo1681]

Body dysmorphia has ruined so many relationships, I wish it was taken seriously and addressed more often

[@MasonDavies74]

Not to mention the ones that never started because one or both people's body-image issues stopped them considering the possibility that anyone could be interested.

[@Bloodark124]

It's getting better and better these days. Definitely lot more commonly known compared to even just a decade ago.

[@thesaddestdude3575]

Well when it comes to men being respected when showing weaknesss i can tell you this is all crap. We never will, the difference on men and women is that theres no lenaince on men and there never will be. Its delusion to think that we are good looking and its disease and weakness to think we aren't. We literally cant win and as somone who is butt ugly i can tell you that no matter how you view yourself others are gonna be repulsed regardless. We are made this way becaus we are judged and guess what. This "oh my god its diesase" thing just takes away from the fact that its systemic. When you feel judged by others for the way you look its not in your head. if you look up actual numbers on dating you will see the truth. If you are ugly as a man you are completely screwed, women will hate just for who you are and it doesnt matter how you act.

[@MassMultiplayer]

same with gold diggers

[@jo1681]

@@thesaddestdude3575 damn i was gonna reply something to challenge your statement but the user name is so fitting idk if anything i say will change a sad dude from being a sad dude.

[@UniqueYoutubeHandle13]

I was really hoping Dr. K would touch on male pattern hair loss. As a guy in my mid twenties it has been a massive detriment to my mental health the past 4-5 years. It absolutely does manifest as social anxiety for me and have such a hard time being present with other people and putting myself in situations to grow socially/professionally/relationally. I already struggled somewhat with my self-image but this has become a seemingly insurmountable obstacle between me and confidence in myself.

[@Paxility]

As someone who started going bald at 21 I can only say this. Male pattern baldness doesn't happen because you're sick, or not exercising or eating healthy. Stress and some other factors might speed it up but in the end, that's just how your body looks. And that's OK. No need to be ashamed. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. And everyone who makes negative comments about it is not treating you well. And it probably doesn't look bad at all. I think the fact that I'm unfazed by my baldness is more attractive than my full hair ever was. I'm now at a stage where full hair would look weird to me. I have the advantage that as a queer man I know that I still find balding men attractive. Maybe that helps!

[@Lecrie]

You've taught yourself to give a fuck about it. Now it's time to unlearn what you've learned.

[@UniqueYoutubeHandle13]

@@Lecrie I would love to but don’t have a clue how to. Probably developing myself in other areas of my life but the self image and lack of confidence makes that unbelievably difficult. We trudge forward regardless.

[@CaptainFracture]

Just goes to show how people really don’t care about these issues if a damn psychologist missed the biggest issue at least body wise that men face and it’s hair loss.

[@bloatmax4420]

just shave it and get jacked. I never understood being insecure about balding, genuinely didn't care when I started losing mine. Always thought it was a pretty cool look as long as you were lean and/or jacled. Don't miss my hair one bit. No more paying for haircuts, don't have to do anything to it before I leave home, the stubbly feel is cool, wind/rain/cold pillows on a freshly shaven dome are pure bliss. Backtracking to my suggestion of getting jacked, direct neck training. Bald on anyone looks weird if you have a pencil neck. So either do tons of heavy deadlifts, or lots of neck work.

[@ahaanbanerjee]

As a young guy who has suffered from body dismorphia for a long time, i want to point out how important this topic is. I used to be a fat kid for a long time in my life, and was incredibly obese, until i got into bodybuilding when i was the age of 15. During the process of bodybuilding, i did see a lot of changes in my body as it grew better more functional and more healthy, but everytime i looked in the mirror i felt incomplete and unsatisfied. I took my diet and training to extreme amounts in order to improve my physique and got a lot of "gains" but it never truly made me feel complete. I was really insecure and tried to cover up parts of my body that i didnt like much, such as my legs in order to hide them from myself and others. But in the long run all of these did not yeaild any real solutions. After getting educated a lot abou this issue however and learning that my body health and physique was better than a vast majority of others, i started to gain some confidence and pride in my hard work. Trying to look different isnt a problem, trying to get better is not a problem, comparing yourself to others is also not a problem. The problem lies in how u train your mind to percieve these situations and idelogies. To all the guys out there, dont be ashamed in you body or face, a large part of it is genetic or cultural, even if you are unhealthy by being fat or skinny you can always work on yourself. Good luck!!

[@shyrenix]

thank you so much for sharing bro, i too suffer from body dysmorphia and can relate to so much that u talked about

[@DestopLine]

"comparing yourself to others is also not a problem", a lot of people nowadays actually need to know this, there's healthy comparison and unhealthy comparison, and the actual problem with the later, as you said, lies in how you train your mind to percieve your situation, not in comparison itself. Comparison isn't always bad, it can be healthy, enjoyable and motivational

[@ahaanbanerjee]

@@DestopLine very tru

[@ahaanbanerjee]

@@shyrenix appreciate that i could help in some way bro, keep a good mindset we all gonna get through it

[@0Ciju0]

Hey, I am almost exactly like you, but the opposite! I've never gone over 125lbs as a 5'10 (now 30year old) male. I decided to go to the gym back in Highschool and during the first two years of college and to me the point was "to get a beach body", not increase my "gains" in terms of weight lifted. I took protein powders, and creatine, and made meal preps and the only thing that happened was I got nasty acne on my back lol. I would increase in reps and weight lifted, but very little mass was noticeable; that was really demoralizing. It got to the point where people in high school (generally girls) would joke around about how they were jealous of my small waist and how I fit in those jeans lmao... I ended up wearing an extra pair of sweatpants under all of my jeans just to "fill them fuller".

[@charstar2808]

One form of male body dysmorphia that I think is rather common but wasn't specifically touched on in this video (though does relate to the alpha/beta nonsense) is dysmorphia related to penis size. I imagine that KZbin might not be the best place to have that conversation, but I would be very interested in a follow-up discussion focused on genital-based body dysmorphia (not limited to men). It is generally an uncomfortable discussion to have and making those uncomfortable discussions approachable is something of a speciality of this channel.

[@Kevin-ok8dj]

Pornography really has ruined the perception of a normal penis for men. I have an adequate sized penis (6.5" length, 6.5" in girth). Yet I sometimes still compare it to the oversized members in porn and feel inadequate

[@SemekiIzuio]

That's true. Men always compare themselves with that and it doesnt help women egg on them for having a small one and not being "satisfying" when it's been researched that women dont orgasm due to penetration thus the size isnt what matters at all but the foreplay

[@dustronyt4565]

and not just size you know it can be not straight, with a curvature that large so there can be a whole bunch of problems

[@Schizohandlers]

You think about this a lot don't you

[@CALIBA88]

forget penis size, i am short. it makes a normally good live hell. pp looks even bigger on small dude and i am more than happy there. problem is, no women will see your tool if you are under 1.80meters. personality, humor, education, income nothing can compensate height.

[@rosiex1841]

Gentle reminder to all the guys out there that even though the voices in your head say you need to be extremely tall or muscular to be considered attractive, you don't. Keep going, I hope you end up kicking body dysmorphia's arse.

[@SNOWSOS]

Whenever I explain my body dysmorphia to people it's immediately brushed off "you look great", like anytime I open up the person isn't listening to what I'm saying and minimizes it.

[@realmaximusfps]

Not sure how old you are but you need to realise this asap, nobody cares. Sad truth, been there

[@mylegispotato]

To me the most helpful resource was actually randomly getting a good-looking girlfriend who also had body image issues. I just couldn't really believe that she thinks about herself as "fat" or "ugly". It changed my self-image - I started thinking that if I can find her pretty, then she can find me handsome despite whatever I think about myself. Now I'm single, but don't really care about my looks, if it's just good enough for me, than it is good enough for others and apparently very good for some small percentage of women. Stay strong bros, keep taking care of yourself and don't give a shit about what other people say, you just need that **one** to find you handsome.

[@SemekiIzuio]

Yup it's all about preferences. The Chad look is overrated and not for everyone

[@havcola6983]

I mean, happy that worked out for you but it's hardly the easiest thing to replicate, right? 😅 Especially not for those of us who won't talk to anyone because we feel too skinny/fat/bald/short/whatever.

[@philspaghet]

@@SemekiIzuio You don't get to decide that. That look is something that motivates and pushes a lot of us men to be better men

[@SemekiIzuio]

@@philspaghet youre right I dont. ??? Not really sure what your are commenting me on. Its not for everyone but it is for others who were born that way. Overrated as in it gets meme out alot. If men are getting inspiration from these man that they can never look like then that itself has its problems, its about acceptance afterall. If you got the big bucks to get plastic surgery or bone reconstruction then by all all means.

[@philspaghet]

@Semeki Izuio Everyone knows that we will never look like them unless we take steroids and have fantastic genetics but the goal isn't to look like them but rather, see the potential of our own bodies. It's rather well summed up by Socrates: "It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable" In this sense, a lot of men are praised for overcoming body problems like health issues or less than ideal genetics. It's not something as shallow as "I'll never be as buff as Arnold"

[@Chloe-pd2xd]

I never comment on youtube videos but this is a topic I'm so passionate about and I'm happy you are talking about it. You can see from these comments, and you don't have to dig far into social media platforms like Instagram and reddit, to see how prevalent eating disorders are. As someone who struggled/continues to struggle with disordered eating habits, orthorexia, hx anorexia, body dysmorphia, and muscle dysmorphia, I'm very interested in this topic. Especially with how social media plays into it. I'm a nursing student and avid bodybuilder, and I'm writing my honors thesis paper on the topic of social media's impact on eating disorders and our eating habits. There is so much misinformation out there, so much comparison, and a lot of people who are struggling. Please talk to someone you trust about your feelings and consider therapy. There is a line between self improvement and running yourself into the ground because of perfection and low self esteem. Also if anyone has ideas/studies to help with my thesis feel free to reply :)

[@malikthompson3295]

I don't have any studies in mind, but I have a couple ideas. Maybe you could research into what is a healthy show of taking care of your body and then compare it to these extremes that show that you need to be xyz to be healthy. Are there any healthy online displays of bodybuilding that wouldn't motivate someone to feel ashamed about their body? Perhaps as well you can look into the big and beautiful topic. I see this label applied more often to women than men who may have obesity. While fitness influencers are shaming others to look a certain way, women seem to be way more encouraged to be obese and then when they decide to lose weight people shame them for it. Food for thought.

[@H4chiSama]

The fitness industry has known about muscle dysmorphia (or "bigorexia", as it's been called) for ages. I'm glad psychology is catching up.

[@inplane9970]

Indeed. It's one of the biggest motivators for most gym-goers. The never-ending cycle of wanting to get bigger and bigger. Basically a double-edged sword depending on how unhealthy the habits become.

[@Chalk....]

@@inplane9970 You either go to the gym to live, or you live to go to the gym.

[@peterpan408]

I suppose it starts to be more attractive to women.. Then they get hooked on the gains.. Harder faster better stronger! Win that race. A beach-bod is enough, but they want more! Unfortunately to gotta juice to get there. So there is a realistic target for your natural gains.

[@Sdir]

oh we just thought about that episode from "Close enough" (cartoon about 30yo pals) where one of the main characters started to go into gym to fix problems with his health. And it ended up by him being over-buffed and forgetting about everything except for the gym. Till now we thought its just only funny episode but it appears it was deeper o.o

[@rdallas81]

​@@Sdirvery deep indeed

[@dldietz82]

It's also worth exploring someone's overall sense of self and the impact it has on body image. I feel like for men, it's really easy to extrapolate their struggles in life and place blame squarely on how they look. It doesn't help that there are communities of men online that exclusively reinforce this idea that looks are the issue.

[@iamnotoforiginald9206]

@@Suiseisexy based ponycel

[@TheGamer2001]

The fact that these are usually men who bully other men is rarely discussed.

[@Suiseisexy]

@@TheGamer2001 Because cross-culturally modifying the behavior of 50% of the human race is achievable and in no way a distraction from real change designed to keep focus on the political gains of women and minorities as long as possible by people who believe in patriarchy theory so strongly that they think the re-appearance of bandit kings will be the final proof they're "right about everything", even as said bandit king burns their books and them as he unconsciously resets the system back to a stable state. But no, you're right, we have to make absolutely sure only men take the blame for problems with men, that way we can keep them trapped as long as possible and satisfy our greed for stuff we haven't thought out long enough to keep from being easily tricked by corporations. That way we can be ruled by the correct rich white men, the ones with tiny mouse voices and little penises who like computers. No more of that silly soldier stuff or going outside, the money is inside now! Definitely the money changing focus and threatening stability definitely doesn't cause civil wars and definitely wasn't the cause of our last civil war. Just, definitely, wow, you're so right sister. I can't wait to rule over a fly-covered hellscape that's forgotten how to make most of it's own technologies with you. Maybe if we're really feeling hotttt we can have a maggot smoothie before returning to our sleeping tubes.

[@dDoodle788]

​@overlordfemto7523nah, it's those who are ugly AND have a shitty personality; ugly men but with good personalities usually do fine, not fantastic, but fine.

[@cables2677]

As a highschool I did football and track and was in amazing shape Now I'm in my 20s working full time and I really let my body go to shit, and now I hyper fixate on the things I don't like about my body. And it's been rough

[@GSPV33]

I'm sorry to hear that mate. Keep in mind that even if you don't feel like you look attractive externally, your body is an amazing machine that has always put in so much work to keep you alive and healthy, and you can always have a fundamental gratitude and appreciation of your body for that.

[@StarmenRock]

Start little but do start.

[@Zb_Calisthenic]

Start exercising again!

[@ghostbravo7127]

I used to be a D1 sprinter, when I was forced to retire due to career ending injury, it took me years to come to terms with my body, I didn't exactly get fat but going through PT all those years, I lost that athletic part of me for half a decade, not looking and feeling like an athlete made me feel weak, slow, and unfit. Back then I probably would have called myself fat at 20% body fat. It wasn't until I finished PT, and moved to Japan for few years, where I started training Kyokushin learning to gain control over my body and mind again and find acceptance, that I was finally able to regain some sense of self.

[@Alfakenybodee]

​@@GSPV33 Love this comment💖

[@guitarsaremyfriendzzz7077]

This video is me 100%. I am 30 years old and I am a virgin. I work out constantly but I can't get rid of my fat. Even aggressively dieting it drops some but no matter how hard I try my stomach always looks bad. Even measuring and visualizing my fat my stomach would still protrude some. So it feels like I will never be able to be attractive. I have worked so hard in life and I have nothing to show for it. I have a Bachelors in Economics and I am trying to get a good job and then work on my masters but I am being turned away from low level jobs for being over qualified and being under qualified for a "real job." So, I am not a lazy slob. I study and work out 24/7 to better myself. However, it never feels like it is good enough. I honestly cannot feel emotions, sometimes I just cry at night not knowing why. But as quick as it comes it goes. My parents always applauded my brother for his accomplishments but ignored mine. They even sent me to get "anger management" at a facility where I was abused. When I told them years later they basically said oops. I could go on and on but this honestly feels so much like me. Idk. It is so annoying. I just want to get my degree and contribute to society and help people. I just want to get married and have a family. I don't care about being rich or famous, I just want to have a fulfilling and meaningful life and help others but I just cannot get ahead no matter how hard I work. Idk. I am just so numb and broken down anymore. I just wish things would change or I would just die already.

[@manumaster1990]

I am very sorry to hear this. as you will understand no type of comment below can directly change your life. the only thing I can tell you is to find a good psychiatrist. because from what you write you need professional help. good luck.

[@DasGutten]

Im sorry about your struggles I genuinely hope things get easier for you

[@TheLeonSnake]

Man, I hear you, please get professional help. I don't know if you are religious, but christianity and a real relationship with God has proven to be the solution, you have value outside of any category, cause you are valuable inherently. Hope everything works out for you!

[@paranoah1925]

I had some similar experiences you described in my childhood. I grew up believing i had no worth and that i didn't matter. Because of that i let people treat me poorly and seeing that even more exploitative people would be drawn to me - in relationships, friendships and especially at work. And that would just reinforce the belief that i mattered less than others. It took me a couple of decades to completely figure out what was 'wrong' with me. Please know that you are good enough and lovable enough as you are. Today you need to hear it from yourself more than from others. You will get to a point where you start believing it. Your parents couldn't give you the love and acceptance you needed because of deficiencies they had, not because of lack in you

[@More_Row]

@@paranoah1925 how did you fix the issue of exploitative people being drawn to you?

[@banishedpotato2268]

For what it's worth, I'm putting this here for all the skinny guys that can't put on weight: I'm sure many guys can relate, but as a 6ft tall (183cm), 150lb (68kg) male in my mid 20s, I promise that nothing has been more frustrating for trying to prevent myself from developing body dysmorphia, than other people. A lot of the self-doubt comes from everyone in my general vicinity constantly telling me that I'm too thin. And believe me, I've tried to put on weight. During a 6 month recovery period after an injury, during which I was basically bed-ridden for 3 months and required a lot of help for another 3, I put on close to 10kg in fat. Once I was able to start moving around again, not exercising, literally just doing everyday activities and going to work, my metabolism kicked back in and I lost over 15kg in 4 months, which dropped me down to 63kg, the lightest I'd ever been in my adult life. That was 5 years ago and I've tried so hard to put on weight and to bulk up but I still can't even bring my weight above 70kg again so clearly I've got a more ectomorphic body type and will just remain thin for as long as my metabolism continues to work so well. Some people say they're jealous of how I never put on weight but it's honestly awful when it becomes one of the biggest sources of ridicule that I receive from others. Genuinely, completely unprovoked, people will always drop me comments on how I'm "so thin". Everybody knows how rude and not okay it is to just tell someone they're "too fat" so why does is seem to be okay when you're "too thin"? I wish people would think a little bit more before throwing around words like "anorexic" to describe people with my build. I eat so much food, and I try my best to make it good food. I exercise regularly. I'm healthy. And yet when others call me skinny so often, and I still get mistaken as a kid due to my build, even though I'm halfway to 30, it's incredibly difficult to continue to tell myself that my body is okay. If you're a skinny dude, and everyone gives you hell for it even though you can't put on weight regardless of how hard you try, just keep doing your best to remind yourself that you're alright as you are. We can't all be built like superheroes, but there's nothing wrong with that as long as we're keeping our bodies healthy

[@celestialceilagor3802]

No one takes it seriously no one says its a problem, everyone will diss you for it though. What can you do? The amount you would have to eat to look square enough would cost its weight in gold. How you'd have to spend so much time excersising and making sure that you don't end up just losing more fat than muscle you put on. It is way harder to gain weight healthily than it is to lose it. I'm not even that thin, and I get shit for it all the time, and I see people who are taller than me and less muscular and I wonder htf do they cope with it? What doesn't help is fitness influences who obviously had late puberties posting about their transformation as if working out broke their voice or some shit. If you see Hercules, he is taking t.

[@Jurassicparkatmospheres]

Same here except I'm nearly 30. Even my parents and step parents ridiculed me for it. I came home from school bullying to get further bullied at home

[@celestialceilagor3802]

@@Jurassicparkatmospheres at this point I'm just telling people who say that to shut up

[@CALIBA88]

if skinny bothers you, try being short. with a burnt face like a corpse i would have more success with the other sex than as a short dude.

[@weilzudope]

do you even lift brah?

[@-VexyRS]

I struggle with body dysmorphia every day. Saw a photo of myself taken by someone else last night and I’m seriously struggling today… Perfect timing for this video to be honest. It seems you always cover what is most pressing to me in the moment. I am obese. Not morbidly or anything, but larger than I’d like. At one point I had a speed addiction and I starved myself on purpose, and lost well over 40 pounds in a single month. I kept moving the goal post, and I always wanted to be skinnier. I projected pride and happiness with my body image, but that was just the speed talking. I was still angling my selfies, avoiding mirrors, wearing baggy clothes… I have never wanted to be muscular; just skinny. I see someone else in the mirror. A carefully constructed image of myself in the correct light and angles, making me look more like I want to look. Social media is great for this, as I get my fix by seeing myself through this lens in my tiktoks and snaps. When I go outside, I am always aware of how I’m perceived. I despise being seen for who I actually am. I’m working on this. I’m trying new things and I’m attempting an adjustment of my lifestyle recently. I’m letting negative self-talk stay fleeting thoughts, and I’m slowly learning to express myself in both my style and conversation. I struggle a lot with food, as I have autism and ADHD (wombo combo), and my “safe foods” are not healthy. I can’t make routines effectively, and I can’t take stimulant medication without relapsing. Atomoxetine is making the bar for executive function lower, but I’m still haunted by the fear of judgement on my character, so making healthy social choices is still a monstrous challenge. This turned into a bit of a rant, but I wanted to say that I appreciated this video, even if it wasn’t addressing my problem specifically. And for others like me: it’s getting easier, and better, but it takes time. It takes hardship, relapse, reflection, and trying again. Over and over, but it works. I’m still on my way, but I haven’t lost hope. I still have to admit how hard it is so I can feel good about even trying at all. EDIT: Taken some action and gotten through the worst couple of days of starting a diet. I have a massive headache, but that'll pass. I'm keeping up with my vitamins and hydration, and I have a friend who's helping me with that part. I reckon it's going to benefit me to show myself I'm capable of discipline, and among the other actions I'm taking in my life, this should hopefully contribute to making me feel better about myself better than last time.

[@safir2241]

hey man; from one human to another on the real i hope youre doing better for yourself

[@-VexyRS]

@@safir2241 I have yet to relapse on anything other than alcohol. I weigh about 20 pounds less than when I made this post. I’ve dyed my hair pink and started cutting it myself. I have a partner that loves me and my body. I have bought clothes I have always wanted to wear. I got my septum pierced. I even went to my first ever music festival this year. I’m 28 btw, so all of these things were LONG overdue. I’ve also cut off the malignant tumor that was my “best friend” from my life. My routines and calendar are now all run through a pretty excel sheet I’ve made that tabulates points where any daily score over 10 means I need to do something about my hygiene, sleep, or exercise to lower it. The score increases per thing every day I don’t do something, so I have to tackle things that I’ve left on the backburner first. Been running this system for 6 months, and it’s genuinely one of my best ideas yet! Life is rough, I’m still overweight, I still eat unhealthy, but I’m happier. My body dysmorphia has lessened a lot over this past year, that’s for sure. Thanks for your kind words, and for giving me a moment to reflect on what I’ve done since I was in this rut. I appreciate it

[@MrSharky334]

I am proud of you for working on yourself, and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all of this. Best wishes bud ❤

[@benh6452]

Thanks for this friend. I am right there with ya

[@regentcid4348]

I hadn't considered social anxiety and being unable to name feelings through the lens of body dysmorphia, but that makes a lot of sense for my own issues. Thanks again, Dr. K.

[@inplane9970]

As someone who's gotten into bodybuilding at a young age, it's scary how much the fitness industry has changed with the explosion of social media influencers. The memes of TREN, juicing-up, and how it's becoming "cool" and socially acceptable to gear up as long as you're humble and funny about it is going to damage a lot of young lifters in the long run. And it's going to play exactly into body dysmorphia, where kids wont look exactly like their idols when they're taking all that substance they were sold on. I know a lot of fitness influencers don't gear up *that much,* but it's still something that needs to be looked into rather than encouraged.

[@blacktuxwidow4318]

I hate the fact that i dont have a remotely close jawline even tho im healthy 60kg 176cm tall. My family is just not built that way so our chin is further back resulting in almost a dubble chin and almost no jawline at all. That's it, thats my rant. Whenever i look in the mirror (i avoid them a lot) i just push my chin automatically forward because i get more of a jawline then. Ugh

[@r_se]

u can try mewing if ur young or bimax surgery or even bonesmashing

[@GuilhermeAlves-er5mx]

@@r_se this ^^

[@klawydaro2697]

In my case mewing helped with getting better jawline

[@apuffin9545]

Try mewing, you probably won't manage to make your chin to forward but you might be able to make your jaw muscles more prominent which will give you the appearance of having a stronger jaw

[@dread1262]

Mewing is bs thats been disproven by dentists. Don't feed people missinformation. Not here

[@AdamKirbyMusic]

I am not a bodybuilder (am generally into fitness though), but I find the KZbin bodybuilding scene interesting and watch certain channels. I absolutely think that online bodybuilding communities and social media in general are creating a MASSIVE amount of body dysmorphia in men. You literally have channels that push the notion that if you don't have visible abs you are fat. Then you have the proliferation of superhero movies where jacked and shredded actors lie by omission about the PEDs they took for the role. This is the same for all of the fake naturals in the "fitness" space that you only see with perfect lighting, perfect angles & posing. And surprise surprise, with this environment of comparison men are getting hit with the exact same psychological fuckery that women have had to deal with for ages.

[@terminaldeity]

That's a little different than dysmorphia. Dysmorphia is like someone is already huge and jacked but sees themselves as small. It's called biggerexia. Everyone else can give you nothing but complements about being jacked but you still feel small

[@NiklasBurna]

Disagree only with one thing, your idea that this is a recent development. Unrealistic body ideals for men are just as old as for women. Look at the old greek statues lol

[@dcard228]

Because it sells lmao insecure men are the best customers. Ask OF models

[@arkonem2933]

@@dcard228 Doesn't make it right dude. Yes, it sells, but yes it's also a problem.

[@espalier]

I think there is a tacit admission of PED in those actors. Anytime one of them says their diet is “chicken, rice, and steamed broccoli”, I assume they are on gear.

[@shorfan]

Grown up with comments from everywhere about how I look, how tall I am, that I’m fat, skinnyfat, skinny etc. all my life. had to go to doctors as a kid because of me being overweight and having high bloodpressure and my strict parents making me feel totally shit for all of it, has really made me insecure about how I look. And I was always told that men never go through feeling insecure, that only women were targeted by society about how they look etc. I’m happy you posted this video and give people an understanding about the stigma around male dysmorphia and that men do go through these kinds of insecurities all the time and how much more acceptable it is to make fun of, or ridicule how men look, especially things they can’t control (height, balding etc. etc.). This is not to undermine the struggles women have faced and is facing everyday but to find solidarity alongside men who struggle with this issue and together educate people and fight against this.

[@howdyfriends7950]

I've had a lot of friends with anorexia, and one time i was talking to a close friend of mine who's a male bodybuilder, never diagnosed with ED or image issues, maybe some minor depression and stuff, but while i was talking to him my mind was like "this dude 100% has anorexia", but they're not obsessed with skinniness, they're obsessed with being jacked, but i have no other means of explaining that the thoughts and behaviors i saw from him were literally identical to those in my friends with anorexia. i think it's the exact same disease that drives that behavior in both cases, and i can really relate to both of them because I'm a trans person who feels a similar way about my facial hair, lack of feminine features, etc.

[@internalizedhappyness9774]

I remember one time I shaved my legs, it was soo smooth. It was awesome, I think it’s Nice routine to exfoliate your skin and then to shave, relaxing on the mind!

[@TacoHawk76]

I'm a bodybuilder, I have been for 10 years and I know exactly what you're describing. It's called orthorexia nervosa; instead of "no appetite nervousness disease" it's either "appetite for correction/health nervousness disease" Basically you have anxieties and you calm yourself down getting healthier; asserting control over your diet and your body (exactly like anorexia). But since "skinny" is debateable and so is "healthy" it's basically anorexia with more involved steps. You'll have nutritionally-unfounded superstitions about what foods are "clean", you'll become avoidant about eating with others because they'll mess up your diet or judge your bizarre eating habits, and you'll measure your limb circumference and weight constantly and react emotionally to variations in the readings even if it's such a small variation that any real scientist would say "might be measurement error" Your entire day and your enjoyment of certain events and basically most of your self esteem will come from how you ate and whether you worked out and whether that's making you more or less healthy. It sounds like a noble pursuit, but by the time you can bench press double your own bodyweight and still cannot jog a mile, one has to wonder if one is chasing health or a delusion of health based on what one emotionally finds impressive

[@TacoHawk76]

update: finally finished watching this vid, didn't realize Dr K talks about orthorexia right at the end he doesn't miss it seems

[@heinoustentacles5719]

no offense to you, but that similarity which you acknowledge is why i think gender dysphoria should be treated more like other forms of body dysmorphia, rather than by 'transitioning'.

[@scorpiom8053]

@@heinoustentacles5719yup

[@Relhio]

I've lost 46 kgs in 10 months and I'm now just realizing how my mind hasn't made a single damn step in the same direction. I still feel like I'm obese mentally, I still feel it's 0 progress, and still consider my end goal is ambigous and long time out of reach. People that know me say they can't believe what I look like and yet my mind tells me that strangers that look at me can't possibly know this, they just still see a fat person. It's either I'm slim and look good or I'm fat and unattractive to most women.

[@jamesc3953]

Mate, don't base your worth around what women think of your appearance. They don't typically emphasize looks the same way us men do, and if they do they're picky about obscure things. You're better off maintaining what you have currently, working on a cool hobby that involves getting out and learning to enjoy yourself, which will be much more attractive to women in the long run

[@icejake1995]

Hey can I ask what you did to loose that weight. I'm trying super hard 5'10 300lbs and I know to be healthy I just need to drop 50 it's not even about looking good. Where did you start at cause everyone around me is naturaly smaller and has no advice. I also have a messed up metabolism so that dosent help. Sry j know this is about your mental health but I need to ask

[@catleaf]

as a female who used to be anorexic i relate to this a lot. a mantra i repeat to myself a lot is no matter how thin i get, it will not make me happier. it took me getting severely underweight, losing my period, and losing some of my hair to realize that i would never be satisfied if i kept losing weight. i also needed therapy to break my habits, i would recommend it if you're not going already. also know that there are always going to be people out there who won't reduce you to your appearance. women even value appearance much less than personality and status. judgmental people exist but theyre less common than you think, i think. good luck king !!

[@catleaf]

@@icejake1995 i wouldn't recommend asking a person who seems to be dysmorphic how they lost weight because 46 kgs in 10 months is insane and they might have done it in a not so healthy way

[@Relhio]

@@catleaf Relax, I'm not dysmorphic. I was at 140 kgs and had a gastric sleeve because I was so careless about my health, it was the only method that forced me to be mindful of what I eat. The thing I was mentioning is about your mind not keeping up with body changes. Also, my carelessness about my image runs so deep, the weight I lost was for others. I'm fine with who I am as a person, what I look like; it's just that women never gave me a 2nd thought since I was fat most of my life. I'm not trying to look a specific way, I want to look what women would find good enough. And yes, I know my goals extremely ambiguous and I'm putting all my self worth in the hands of others, but when you find yourself fine but others don't, the only thing I can do is change for others. My desires to be with someone is my ultimate goal and I'm almost 30; I have everything else in life I could need. It's all related to women ignoring me.

[@anthonymyers4516]

After the 25 year old loner video, and this...just add a video about epilepsy, and you've got my issues briefly covered. Been a fan of the page and twitch page. Keep up the positivity, hope others are trying to find positivity and love with this knowledge. Stay up, stay positive.

[@mbrsart]

Muscle dysmorphia is a huge issue, especially because virtually all super swole fitness influencers are on steroids. Watching channels like Shredded Sports Science has helped me get a much better handle on what is healthy and unhealthy and decide that if I need roids to look like that guy, I just won't look like that guy. And anybody who has a problem with it can take a hike.

[@happycompy]

Love Shredded Sports Science!

[@thebekgo1624]

James Linker is goated.

[@EmilGabrielNYC]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for FINALLY talking about MEN having BODY and IMAGE ISSUES… I am so sick and tired of hearing about women only when this is discussed… and yes trauma and body shaming as a child (my case) I know for sure it contributed to my social anxiety and shame as a teenager, young adult and a grown up man who can’t have sex or feel comfortable around other men, who constantly compares to other men, and I am socially withdrawn.. I don’t know that I will ever find an answer to my struggle, but I am hopeful! Thank you again for this video!

[@iansaunders3881]

How this man ALWAYS puts out a video right as im feeling or thinking something blows my mind

[@johnwalker1058]

It keeps happening to the point that I swear Dr. K can read my mind.

[@jinpachibobochan3532]

He's a mentalist, it seems

[@bostonbrian8735]

Lol I know! Same thing with me! The Google algorithm is reading my mind! 🤣

[@julesmkr]

I’ve moderated a body dysmorphia forum for 5 years and read thousands of experiences on BDD and a big thing that is still often overlooked is that in the DSM5 BDD is classified as an obsessive-compulsive disorder. And for a good reason. When you read people’s self worded experiences of this disorder, the elements of obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions are always prevalent. There is clear distress that they can’t stop thinking or worrying even if they want to, they try to do compulsive actions (mirror checking, hiding the “flaw”, excessive grooming…) to mitigate those obsessive worries. And a lot of people say they have benefitted from cognitive behavioural therapy that targets these obsessive compulsive behaviours and thoughts. Though I think a lot of this can be fuelled or even triggered by societal issues like social media, bullying etc. it doesn’t seem to be only a body image issues but also an obsessive compulsive issues as the DSM5 categorises. Many people apply faulty logic to try to rationalise these illogical or disproportionate worries like you said, but other times trying to rationalise this issue way isn’t enough but there needs to be tools to mitigate the exacerbating behaviour as well. As someone with BDD myself, the only thing that eventually helped was learning to manage the obsessive compulsive symptoms and self esteem followed, but doing what normally people would consider self esteem lifting (workout, taking care of myself, giving myself meaningful things to do) only worked short terms and smallest slip from those only brought the BDD back. So I hope more people will look into CBT when faced with BDD. Thank you for bringing this important topic up and especially for mens angle.

[@someonesomeone25]

I hate my body. Hate being human.

[@DataDietz]

My entire day revolves around food. If I eat too much I feel fat for the rest of the day / the day after. It ruins my mood and I get in my head. 1000% dominates my life

[@ponternal]

Lifting weights is good because it allows you to eat more and when eating you feel like you are gaining muscle instead of fat

[@DataDietz]

@@ponternal I don't want to be bulky though. I dream of being super skinny and hot like a swimmer or an ultra marathon runner

[@arkonem2933]

@@DataDietz Then get into a cardio routine, my running program has me burning a few thousand calories extra per week. I'm eating 3000+ kcals without getting fat

[@DataDietz]

@@arkonem2933 I think that you may misunderstand what I'm trying to represent as my main issue. I already run 8-12 miles every week (8-9 minute miles). I am 6'5 and 185lbs, I just hate the way my mind looks at my body in the mirror. I do not WANT to eat more food, I hate feeling full and having to digest.

[@arkonem2933]

@@DataDietz Yeah I misunderstood then, that sounds like a problem. Have you though about professional help?

[@juliemarie4670]

thank you so much for talking about this, Dr. K! I was wondering when we'd get to chat about EDs and body dysmorphia. it's taken me more than six years, nearly all of my 20s to claw my way out of an ED. sometimes body dysmorphia pops up now and again, but with therapy and actively challenging my skewed image of myself, it's far easier to manage. i learned so much from this video about how guys face body dysmorphia and am so happy you're continuing this super important conversation. for all those struggling, you hang in there! i PROMISE it gets better

[@bapbirb]

I really hope Dr.K does a video on avoidant personality disorder. I developed bdd(Im a woman btw) during my teenage years, which eventually lead to worsened avpd in my adulthood. Its definitely unlike agoraphobia or social phobia... I feel like its a complex disorder that's just beginning to get recognized by the mental health community.

[@dogwalk3]

About to start watching this and want to say i have body dysmorphia. im 35 which is above the age range for your target audience, but im a therapist for younger folks & i love the insight you have on topics. i know my dysmorphia came from being made fun of in middle school on sports team because i was overweight and my childhood lifestyle didn't allow for healthy eating or exercising or even playing outside. im not sure if they're related but i also turn to bouts of comfort eating, knowing guilt will follow. in my early twenties i went from 270lbs to 197 by dieting/exercise. this past year i went from 270 to 182 when my goal was to be 220. so ive far exceeded my goal but still still feel large. people call me gangly in jest and when i look in the mirror sometimes i see it, especially compared to old photos but i simply can't view myself as anything but overweight. i've been anorexic and bulemic in the past but have worked past that and live a genuinely healthy lifestyle now. but i still have to wear fitted clothing that shows my slim physique and i can't stand anything that looks even remotely baggy on me. ive lost more weight than i thought my body was capable of - im healthy and don't look emaciated. im not toned or muscular but that body type has never appealed to me anyhow. i just can only notice the extra bits of skin and flab anywhere present on me. i've learned to live with it and accept myself but i still weigh myself daily and obsess over the number and still look in the mirror for a long time on days i feel thinner, even if the scale doesn't match up. it's bizarre how much guilt i feel towards eating still despite being in better shape than ever and wish it's something i could get past. i don't fit the criteria of statistically worrying about muscle size, i also don't compare to anyone else or think anyone looks "better than me," it's more of how "my body *feels* on me." when i see photos or videos, im surprised at how normal i look because i feel a hundred pounds heavier. just a battle with myself.

[@kid14346]

Oooooooh boy that part about abusive parents kind of hit home. I literally have a birth defect (pectus excavatum) that made it so my ribs formed wrong. So now upper body strength is kind of of the table for me due to the fact that my pectoral muscles can't grow because if they do they will rip my ribs from their cartilage. The only way to fix this is an expensive surgery that is incredibly invasive. I don't have the money nor time to deal with that so I just live with it since my condition is not severe if unprovoked. Anyways my entire childhood was riddled with family making fun of me that I am a man that can't lift heavy stuff. And like sure it wasn't abuse in the classical sense, but my god spending your entire life being told you are weak and need to build muscle when doing so would literally harm you really fucks with your mind. Even now as an adult my father will ask me to help him lift something despite my spouse who grew up on a farm and is really strong is sitting right next to me. His justification is that I am a man and need to get muscles... also he hits us with the double whammy of transphobia because my spouse is a transman and my father keeps saying women shouldn't do heavy lifting... so like really cool dad....

[@kid14346]

@Grayble's Gringus "i would be quite literally disowned if a dated a trans person." Oh trust me my family isn't happy about this either and about half my extended family won't speak to us anymore. The only reason my parents still bother to interact with us is I have a child and they love to hang out with their Grandkid... They just are passive aggressively transphobic the whole time...

[@TitaniusAnglesmith]

Nobody except some mean kids in like grade 2 bodyshamed me for being scrawny but holy hell did people, even some family members, roast my sister for being underweight to the point that she would cry. And of course no matter how hard she tried she couldn't gain weight just because of her metabolism and activity. As an adult she's at a healthy weight now but I imagine she still has issues, and I know from conversation that she holds a grudge against a specific relative (me too honestly).

[@TheCorgiLoaf]

I too have pectus excavatum, so I feel ya. Mine is not medically problematic, but rather a cosmetic thing that has been mostly affecting my psyche over the course of the entirety of my school years. If people that read this have pectus that isn't life threatening and they're able to work out, I suggest looking up "Pectus PT". Dude has lots of good content on how to help people like us who have pectus and want to make it less noticeable through fitness. But as noted, only do this after consulting with a doctor that it won't harm you. Safety first! Used to get made fun of by some dipshits early in school for having "man boobs" or other stuff, due to pectus excavatum and that stuff definitely hurt the younger version of myself. It didn't help that I was quite physically weak, so I just fooled myself into believing that I was just formed that way and that I shouldn't try, since my body "wasn't made for sports". But, over the years I've kinda changed my approach on how I feel about my defect. Similar with my constant feeling of sadness and grief (I can't call it depression since I haven't been diagnosed). I don't know how, but I accepted it as part of me. However I don't feed that part of me any energy, it just comes and goes every now and then, but thats okay.

[@ak5659]

I also have PE that went untreated. For whatever reason my parents told me it was all in my head. Actually, PE is one of 5 or 6 'psychsomatic' issues that turned out to be 100% physical. Anyway, I've done a lot of research about PE and I've never heard of a guy not being able to exercise. I know that often certain movements or exercises should be avoided but I've never heard of no exercise at all. I know I only have 1% of the story but that does strike me as a bit odd. Have multiple, unaffiliated docs told you the same thing?

[@kid14346]

@@ak5659 I never said I can't exercise at all, just that pectoral workouts to grow my upper body strength cause stress on my ribs. I jave had them pop apart from exercise in the past

[@connorcombs3691]

Thank you so much for discussing this topic, its something ive struggled with for years and have developed an eating disorder because of it. Its not something society really treats like a real issue, so thank you for spreading awareness and trying to help men avoid the path ive gone down.

[@5055672439]

The medical community outside of sport performance field is so unbelievably behind on muscle and fitness issues it’s mind blowing. I’ve been talking about body dysmorphia with gym friends for over 10 years. The community has been familiar with it for a very long time.

[@reinegade]

People just need to treat men with compassion. Not cool to make fun of anyone based off appearance. If all people were treated with kindness and respect, then we'd all be better off. I'm a trans women who started kinda late, and being 6'2" is such a curse to me (along with other things ofc). I struggle to eat enough each day, and I'm currently in a bad cycle where I barely eat one day, then I'm exhausted and in no mood to eat the next day. Having to force yourself to eat is hell. I hope everyone dealing with dysphoria, dysmorphia, and eating disorders has a great day

[@pikaswole]

"For example, we don't scan men for cervical cancer because they don't have a cervix." Oh Doctor K, some men might strongly disagree with you 😂😂

[@suziesmith8288]

Men should screen for prostate cancer!

[@N1NJ4B345T]

I think it would be nice if we could recognize that sometimes the numbness and never-being-good-enough are consciously enforced by the men who experience them. I started working out a few years ago because I was unhappy with my body and wanted to be strong and confident. After making gains, I definitely felt better about myself, but quickly decided to repress this satisfaction. I did this because I recognized that my dissatisfaction with myself was integral to my self-improvement. There are still moments where I feel good about myself and my progress, but I choose to be dissatisfied about 70% of the time. I maintain this dissatisfaction by comparing myself to those who've made greater progress than myself, because no one ever got anywhere by comparing themselves to the average person in a given domain.

[@Vincent-kl9jy]

So i'm a 28 y/o man who does not use any social media, and haven't used it since I was about 22 years old. I am unhappy with the way my body looks, like those 80% of men in France. The major source of the 'ideal' body image in my head is not from social media, but from the real people around me. If I'm dating a girl, and she makes a comment about how hot some celebrity is, that has an impact on the 'ideal' body in my head. It comes from a place of insecurity, feeling like I'm never good enough to keep a romantic partner's interest. And the 'solution' in my head is to win as many competitions as possible, in the sense that when I'm compared with another man in a woman's head, that's a competition I want to win. I just want to share this, because I don't think social media necessarily has anything to do with it, though it may increase the number of incidences where you are made to feel inferior to someone else by indirect comparison.

[@natej1026]

I struggle a lot with body image and I have an intense fear of putting on body fat, but I'm definitely improving in this and trying to work through that.

[@devonlong1882]

@HealthyGamerGG You're really hitting the nail on the head with this. I deal with this personally. One thing I think you'd find interesting to look into related to this is Avoidant Food Restrictive Intake Disorder (ARFID). From what I've seen, ARFID is more common in men, and I'm very very willing to bet that there's a positive correlation between men who have ARFID and men who experience what you described as Muscle Dysmorphia, or the social anxiety manifestation of body image struggles. Keep up the good work, thanks for all the help.

[@alandouglasbr1839]

I'm aware I've had body dismorphia for several years, and it has affected my emotional state and social life quite a lot. The thing is, it's so hard to talk about this with someone, first cause it is so embarassing to admit that you don't look good, second cause you fear not being understood and that people won't take your concerns as valid. I used to look waaay worse when I was younger tho.

[@NiblaTheCosmic]

Dang I was hoping that you'd talk about Male Pattern Baldness especially in Younger men. Overall, great video though!

[@shelbyannechien7413]

Eating disorders, I know from personal experience, are overdiagnosed in AFAB folks. I'm Non-Binary and AFAB, with chronic stomach problems that are still a mystery after living with it for 20 years. When I was a child, doctors insisted that I'm bulimic because I let slip that I wasn't 100% happy with my body. Now thats incorrectly on my record forever because I had both a nausea and vomiting issue and a separate and unrelated minor body image issue.

[@parzivallampruge2549]

This video made me realize I had/have some decent dysmorphia. The part about taking less pictures is so true. From age13-19 there were essentially no picture of me I would actively avoid taking them. For me the dsymorphia was centered around factors I could not control. Mainly height since I was about 5,2 at the end of middle school. I graduated high school and currently stand at 5,4. My feeling never really changed I just care less about everything now.

[@Josef_1186]

Same here. Basically no photos of me from age 14-19.

[@h8510129]

well i still dont take photos but at the same time i dont think its dysmorphia related... besides i find myself not good looking at all lol

[@hellequinm]

@@h8510129 same mate. I dislike how I look in photos. It's so different from myself in real life. But that's probably some kind of dysmorphia too. I look my pictures and feel like "that's not me". But yeah, I'm below average looking and always had people calling me ugly, those things affect us deeply, I just learnt to ignore it, I'm average looking and it's fine. I had learned that looks are not a quality, pretty people didn't do anything to born beautiful. I just didn't had luck on genetics lottery because I don't have a good health either, already went through 8 surgeries so far and I'm only 35 years old :D. Lmao.

[@robinkuster1127]

There's a brief period where I tried online dating after losing a lot of weight where I took awkward photos of myself that I hate. Before that, the only photos I have are for my ID and drivers license and after that, the only photos I have are with my wife.

[@pulvenberg1709]

Interestingly I've recently changed (I don't even know why or how) but in the past I was much more socially anxious so I didn't like photos of me. But as my confidence grew or I guess anxiety fell I don't really mind pictures of me. I still don't need them taken. I don't want to fall into the trap of this self-presentation, it's just something I decided for myself.

[@FinzerArt]

Ive probably had significant body dysmorphia before I started going to the gym. I used to not eat breakfast and lunch on most days because I was so scared of getting fat. I was bullied as a child for being slightly chubby which traumatised me. Even when I started to go to the gym I was reluctant to eat more because I didn’t want to get fat. Thankfully Ive gotten over this a few month ago and now I feel so much happier with my body. I wish anyone struggling with body image issues the best of luck.

[@dtnuh]

This is a great video, and IMO very on point with what is happening today (and has been really ever since social media took off, especially "fitness influencers".) I hope that as a society we are able to bring this to the forefront and keep the conversation going; I don't see any signs of slowdown as far as social media goes, so this is only going to get worse before it gets better. Personally I'm a bit weary of influencers in general... maybe they have good intentions and want to help others, but there are just as many out there who are narcissistic and are just looking for attention and will go to great lengths to get it. This can be quite damaging to anyone watching who are either highly suggestible, or already have feelings of inadequacy. Thank you for this!

[@euthyphro8064]

I think the discussion of body dysmorphia has been going on for a long time. I agree, though, that it seems like social media has not changed in that regard. When I look at the idea of dysmorphia being some plague on modern society, it feels to me the idea has not been fleshed out well enough. There may be empirical studies supporting the idea, but I do not hear a robust philosophical framework behind how the idea interacts with our natural desires and destroys our personal well-being. I agree that there is some truth in the concept of people being unsatisfied with their bodies, but I wish I heard a more intellectually sufficient argument about how seeing pictures of beautiful people changes the wiring of natural desires.

[@ce8539]

ive been lifting for 4 years and have made decent progress, still feel like im no where close to where i wanna be and frequently get discouraged. dont look at social media too much guys, stay focused. I grew up HATING how i looked. so skinny and lanky. "eat a sandwich" was heard often, people putting their fingers around my wrist and upper arm to indicate how skinny i was. luckily ive always been a fighter, even at my small size i would scrap knowing id lose and get hurt. Those days are long gone, but its true what they say: the day you start lifting is the day you are forever small, cause youre never satisfied

[@PeteS_1994]

Being socially anxious it actually feels like social anxiety shouldn’t be a disorder as it’s usually a symptom of other disorders. Idk why it’s not common knowledge to therapists that someone that is bdd might present the symptoms as social anxiety

[@agamermom0014]

I have a whole bunch of fitness streamers as friends, and only 1 of them seems like he might have this. The others really just enjoy working out and competing in bodybuilding competitions. Maybe they have it to a lesser extent but only one of them stands out as insecure. One of the best things about them all though is how supportive they are to others. And not just about bodybuilding. Anyone who has any goal (school, work, mental health, physical health, anything) is celebrated for every milestone they reach. Getting into school, getting a good grade, getting a job or promotion, taking time to take care of ourselves are all celebrated as well as workout goals and weight loss goals.

[@hedgelord0]

I haven't watched the video yet. I was just watching your guide, and wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you. Your content makes my life so much better. I'm so glad you do what you do.

[@channeling764]

Hi everyone. I would like to share my story since I think I qualify for all psychiatric and socially induced dysmorphia discussions in here. I'm currently 34 and started losing my hair at 17 to the point I was completely bald at 23. I'm also 5'6, have a slightly high-pitched voice and I'm also Bi (quite the package right?) Growing up I started judging my image very harshly since it would not fit the desired male and beauty standards I always tried to be objective when watching other people's perceptions to the point I myself conducted behavioral experiments with people I met. I used to wear hats all the time to hide my receding hairline because when I did I often got compliments about how handsome or cute I was. There were quite a few times while dating that I would take my hat off at the end of the date and I could read the change of heart and disappointment in people's eyes. Friends used to mock me all the time that I looked like Krillin from DBZ without my hat. I even knew that before they pointed that out. Starting at 18 I tried to cope with my other flaws by going to the gym religiously to the point that I started using anabolics at 21 and heavily enhanced my shape. It made me feel better to know at least part of me started to feel more accepted by my peers and acquaintances. All this while wearing my hat. Even with my muscular body, my balding was perceived as unacceptable. I was told to cope and accept it because life is not fair. I firmly believe we humans have innate standards for symmetry regardless we are exposed to social media or not, so I understood that the height of my forehead in comparison to the rest of my face was really naturally unattractive. That plus being short is something that will always put you in the gamma crowd. So at 24 I decided to go for Micropigmentation to physically alter the symmetry of my forehead. And after that not only my self-esteem improved while looking in the mirror but the people around me started to compliment me for no reason. However, I remained objective in my self-evaluation to not try to blame it on some sort of mental "complex" that people used to attribute to others being angry with themselves. Long before gaslighting was a thing in the media I never cared for baseless toxic positivity advice that others had to offer me. A couple years later, I felt the curiosity to go beyond and alter my appearance even further by using hair systems. Wow. I can't even describe the sensation I had in the mirror when I saw that new person. I saw myself as the ideal me. It might sound narcissistic or manipulative to say that there was something in me that got awakened but it really did. It was a boost of confidence I thought I would never reach. I went to work the next day and people hit their jaws to the floor. Some said. It's like you are another person. Days passed and others could also notice my assertiveness and confidence went up. Even acquaintances from years ago started reaching out on social media after my new appearance. It's ridiculous the things that a rug on your head can do in your social environment. I was still short as always but that didn't matter anymore. I was at peace with my height even recognizing it as a flaw that I could never change. It sucks that we humans have all these systems and social inclusivity endeavors just to combat the basic fact that beauty standards are subconsciously sought after and put on a pedestal regardless of knowledge, experience, or maturity. I went to have a hair transplant but it couldn’t reach the area of my forehead that I wanted to cover. Even after the procedure, I still use partial hairline systems. In the end, even though I might not have achieved the permanent best self-look, I feel I managed to partially cheat the game and I would continue to do so because I just can’t change the rules of how society works. So if you are dissatisfied, listen to yourself, evaluate what options are realistically available, and enhance yourself in some other areas that can counterbalance features that might not be possible to change. Follow your symmetry perception. Don’t compare somebody else’s symmetry to yours. Your features are unique and only you can cipher how would the best you would naturally look like. There is just so much we can do. Don’t let anyone advise you with cheap toxic positivity. I don’t know if my advice is positive, but it comes from a real mental and social struggle that until this day I still go through.

[@Alfakenybodee]

Well, as a 20-year-old on the verge of balding, This is a great insight to think about.

[@Desimere]

Beauty is subconsciously sought after and put on a pedestal, but i don't agree that beauty standards necessarily are for everyone. I'm a woman and i have had some experiences of people treating me completely differently based on whether i wear make-up or not, but that hasn't been enough to motivate me to use makeup. In the environment i grew up in, it was normal for women not to wear makeup, so i perceive makeup as something that would make me extra beautiful, not as something that would give me the base level beauty i need. But about weight issues, i feel quite differently. Even at points where i know i'm objectively not yet "chubby", i start to feel unsexy to the point that i would become uninterested in those sorts of things. But really i feel the same about men. Your story makes sense and it sounds like making physical changes really was the best approach for you, but overall, for other people, i think there is still a question of where is the line between making physical changes and changing the mindset. And even if it's too late to change the mindset because of the culture you grew up in, it might still be important to change the culture so that future generations wouldn't have the same problems. Perhaps this toxic positivity doesn't quite do that, but i do appreciate it that people are trying.

[@curoi555]

Compliments and dating are things that I can't identify with but I'm glad that you recognize the gaslighting in society.

[@MassMultiplayer]

i know a friend that have exact same situation. short skinny bald early, focus on hiar loss.. my tips? we all die one day, who care hair will fall on cofin anyway. i call it "Folecule Misery" and even made a song about it. who care hairs bro.. just shave your ass and go full chad, hater gonna hate, *sunglass and ride this life

[@Desimere]

​@@MassMultiplayer My bf tried that, but people started treating him as if he was a white nationalist. The feeling of being perpetually misunderstood is devastating. Humans are social creatures and so society has a strong grip on our emotional well-being. Not caring is worth a shot ofc, but if it doesn't work, let's not blame lack of willpower or confidence. The need for societal approval is part of what it means to be human. I just wish society was less of an ass.

[@wsc2236]

I'm glad this is being talked about. I used to have severe anorexia and something that stood out to me during my recovery was how the way eating disorders are classified does not really match how having an eating disorder is experienced, and how some of the diagnostic criteria are biased towards a preconceived idea of who can have an eating disorder to the point that it becomes part of the diagnosis. I feel that this is particularly harmful for men with eating disorders because it provides justification for the spread of a false notion of what having an eating disorder looks like and what it means to be a person who has an eating disorder, and makes obtaining proper treatment even more difficult. I also want to add that compulsive exercise is also a symptom of one branch of eating disorders, which is something that many people might not be aware of. That is when you feel like something bad will happen if you don't exercise for a day or fail to meet a certain number for some goal you've set for yourself.

[@jimbryant5395]

I have struggled with BTD for a long long time. I'm 64 now and I realized that it's something you don't outgrow, in Factor gets worse as you get older. It's a mind game. I've had many many cosmetic surgeries and I actually think they've helped over the years but it still hasn't been enough. I never thought I was ugly, I just thought I looked average and always wanted to look like a movie star. It's called chasing Beauty and and you always fall short. I just need to find some therapy to help me get over this issue late in life

[@SgtGoodSgtDHGood]

I wouldn't be surprised if I had some kind of body dysmorphia problem during high school. Listening to Dr. K alot of what he said seems to reflect exactly what I experienced in high school from the constant comparisons, my social life going to shit and having no friends once I left school and always feeling in adequate with how I looked. If it is true that I did suffer from some form of body dysmorphia it would explain everything.

[@lux1975]

i’ve never been more grateful for a video in my entire life. thank you so much for this.

[@zwalk15239]

After being the "fat friend" my whole life, I can't see myself as anything but overweight even though I'm at around 17% body fat at this point. I know I'm no longer "big" but I've come to realize that my body type (stocky/round chested) is what I dislike. It's a tough mountain to climb, but anybody (man or otherwise) struggling with the same image issue: know you're not alone!

[@Kiruh]

As someone that struggles from this, this is one of the greatest videos ever

[@icresp4263]

I was always a skinny bloke and put on 15kg when I started Bulking. Once I got too big I started hating seeing how much fat I'd put on, and I lost weight again. Then I got too skinny. This has happened at least 5 or 6 times now where I hate being fat, then I hate being skinny. I'm never happy, only recently I've noticed it when my girlfriend pointed it out. I've never been happy with my appearance, so that's when I realised I had some sort of body dysmorphia. Now I just really try to focus on the good things I have going on and realise that others don't notice all the imperfections I notice when I look at myself. Towards the end of your video you talk about how men who had body dysmorphia took less selfies and posted less on social media. I've never once posted a picture of myself and I've been using social media for a decade. This has probably been going on for a long time.

[@liptoncunningham6666]

Hoping things improve for everyone here. My dysmorphia has gotten better with therapy and time though it's still not completely gone. Dr. K's points make so much sense. My parents were abusive and I had to live with them out of financial necessity for far too long. One of the many things they did was pick on my appearance. On top of that I'm NB so I bought into aspects of both male and female beauty standards. Glad I'm slowly crawling out of that dark hole. Hope others can do the same.

[@catleaf]

im happy to hear you're doing better, keep fighting!

[@liptoncunningham6666]

@@catleaf Thanks for the positivity. Wishing you the best on your challenges as well. :)

[@hellequinm]

The height issue is interesting, I do live in a country where most people are in average shorter, I'm 1,60m. I never had any issue with my height, but people always made fun of it, and even a friend told to me "Must be hard to be that short". Figures I had never had any issue that could not be tackled with a ladder. This height thing is more present in men, but it is also something women complain too - mostly adults. In my family most women are on my average and below it. It's interesting on how this was NEVER an issue until I went to highschool. I always told people this "seems like you have much more problems with my height than myself, why does it bother you?". And they just stop, people make fun here and there, but it never really affected me, but this kind of situation have a pretty bad and deep effect on men. In the end we will all shorten, our skin will get thin and wrinkled, our hair grey, don't spend so much time and effort on something you can't change, work on to be a better person for yourself and the ones you love.

[@SquallSZ]

This is simply the topic that speaks to me the most in your channel. Thank you a LOT for covering it Dr K. A LOT.

[@SquallSZ]

@@Dimitris_Half how are you true legitimate incel

[@SquallSZ]

@Lemme think for a second why are you erasing your messages?

[@SquallSZ]

@@Dimitris_Half that's a sign that youtube works well against trolls 😛 (oh and by the way, I'm not an incel either. Where do I say that?)

[@SquallSZ]

@@Dimitris_Half ah knew it was you 😂 No. I said that I relate a lot to some topics and that I have an insufficient love life. Never said I was an incel. I related to some problems incels face. (even though they tend to exaggerate)

[@inquisitionagent9052]

Something about listening to this while working out really speaks to me. Maybe its the irony. Yes I dislike the way I look. Yes I'm insecure about some things. No I'm not gonna stop working out. No I'm not gonna obsess about looks. There can be a healthy balance in looking at yourself critically and making improvements. As long as you don't make it pathological and let it consume your very sense of self. If it makes you feel any better, one day this mortal shell of flesh and bone will fail. It will happen to all of us. In death and decay we are all made equal. Might as well nurture our body while the potential for beauty is there.

[@TJUntame]

Thank you for talking about this, we don't talk about eating disorders nearly enough. Mine was never about muscle, it was always weight for me. I think what started the disordered thinking in my case was bullying, due to being overweight (I was also very short at the time, which didn't help weight distribution). I eventually dropped the weight by working out, but then slide down a slippery slope of unhealthy eating and mental anguish that led to me being hospitalized my senior year of High School (My dad brought me to a doctor for a check up and after having my vitals taken I was immediately ordered to be hospitalized because of fatally low vitals) where I remained for about 2-3 weeks until I was stable enough to leave. Even after discharge however, I continued treatment in IOP for an additional month or so. I still deal with the body issues but have way better eating habits and continue to workout to this day. I would like to note that in hospice, I was with all female patients around my age, and ONE male who was way younger than all of us, so that really cemented the idea in my head of how uncommon this kind of disorder really is for men, and how little it is addressed for any one person who suffers regardless of gender.

[@Moose92411]

As someone who has worked and been engaged in the fitness industry for over a decade,none of this is new to me. I’ve posted on the HG subreddit about my own experience with body image issues, though my problems never really got to the point of dysmorphia. I’ve seen some really unfortunate trends, especially in social media-related emotional associations between certain body aesthetics and self worth. Also, the reference to a 2,000 calorie cheat day was hilarious - I think Dr. K probably meant 10,000. Finally, the ecto/endo/mesoporth study actually originated with totally bullshit science based around predicting peoples’ behaviors and aggression levels based on their size and shape. Those terms need to go away. They’re nonsense.

[@perman07]

I think the terms are legit, they are just misunderstood and people over-extrapolate what they mean. If you consider two axes of low to high fat and muscle, that maps to those three terms: endomorph (low fat, low muscle), ectomorph (high fat, high muscles), mesomorph (low fat, high muscle). This just lacks a term for high fat, low muscle (otherwise known as "skinny fat"). The problem isn't that you can't put people into these bins, we all map to somewhere on that grid, the problem is that those categories are not permanent life sentences, and you shouldn't read that much into it. But some people do indeed build muscles easier, and some store fat easier. But other factors like appetite regulation, initial untrained muscle mass, muscle building potential, years spent training, training style, all muddy the waters enough that the model doesn't have much predictive value.

[@jameslebeau7078]

My friends always tell me I'm looking buff but I feel so skinny whenever I look in the mirror. At least feeling ugly keeps me motivated to hit the gym every day.

[@pookart9893]

This is one of those dr.k vids that smacks me in my soul. As I write this I am 2 days out from my natural bodybuilding competition and I am by any normal persons standards shredded. But by my own standards it's just not good enough, and I'm hungry and craving everything, I am so ready to be done with this show for the sake of my wellbeing, I originally decided to compete to prove to myself that I could follow through on something and I will have accomplished that goal, but at what cost.

[@Jestokost]

17:05 I don’t think that’s surprising at all. After my shit went down (not gonna get into details), I seriously internalized the idea that I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself, and I couldn’t rely on anyone else to keep me safe. I’d never been a gym/fitness nut at any point in my life before then, but the pipeline from the morning after to body dysmorphia to PED use took less than a year.

[@aonair7211]

As someone currently on steroids this sounds about right lol

[@requiem-ph5xx]

Fax

[@Thessalin]

One of my favorite sayings I learned about feeling ugly- "Maybe you're just not your type." 😳🤯🥳 Makes so much sense. What can my body do rather than what it looks like. Body neutrality. I'm glad I'm older. If I grew up with social media I would have self deleted. No real questions. Too much hair. Too chubby. Big gross nose. Tons of acne. Acne scars. Crappy hair. Too short. Average pp. Shrug. Thankfully I hit old man don't care and just happy I am healthy. Yup, I'm that old guy in the gym who just does his thing and doesn't hide while changing. It's nice. Not perfect, just better.

[@aronhighgrove4100]

A good topic here is also ageism. People are so obsessed with age now, like never before, and harass and bully people about it, without any guilt or feeling of wrongness. A lot comes with preconceived notions of how you have to be, what conditions you might have (including medical, when it doesn't apply at all, but they just guess and make you anxious about what could be).

[@greatwavefan397]

As an aspie, I'll occasionally consider my face or neck without my hair down and feel like an alien or a worm. I just wish I'd look like my interests instead of someone who physiologically doesn't belong.

[@MechMK1]

I'm bald at 28 and I genuinely hate it. I hate how I look. I visited two different doctors, both told me "There's nothing we can do about it" and I feel like it's basically over for me.

[@arlanthomson8938]

Try a hair system

[@Samblix]

I really liked this video Dr. K. I appreciate the work you're doing and the topics discussed here. Definitely felt this one resonate with me.

[@mj-np9sy]

I've had body dysmorphia my entire life. I was scrawny as a kid and everyone made fun of the size of my wrists, my ribs showing, etc. Now i'm 40 lbs heavier with tons of muscle from 20 years of lifting and boxing and I still look down at my wrists and arms and feel like they're scrawny. When I see myself in a picture I look far, far bigger than I see myself when I look in the mirror or down at my arms. I'm obsessive about eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle. My biggest problem is if I slack off for awhile and put on fat/weight and stop looking fit at all I become horribly depressed and it becomes so difficult to get myself back on the wagon. My friends know that if I'm "chubby" I'm depressed. Strangely enough, I hate wearing tanktops or anything form fitting that shows my muscles, it makes me feel like people think I'm showing off. It's just a constant thought. I see guys in tank tops and don't think twice about them but I feel like people think I'm showing off if I wear them.

[@wllulu]

I dont know if i have body dismorphia to be honest, but everytime i look to myself in a reflection i say disgusting, im terrified of cameras, i cant stare to myself more than 1 minute in the mirror and it really destroyes me when i see a photo of myself also im very insecure about my height, also this is a consequence of some past experiences

[@O_Tucano]

I'm exactly the same

[@gridiron8870]

Im sorry to hear that man You cant control your height its not your fault and anyone that makes fun of you for it it isnt worth it

[@justblaze4707]

I have always been a skinny guy but when I went to AF basic training i was able to gain around 35 pounds. I came home and wasn't eating nearly enough and lost it all. At the beginning of this year, I finished watching Dragon Ball and used the motivational words of Goku and Vegeta to actually drive me to get out of my comfort zone and go to the gym. It was the first time I ever felt confident enough to be all the way at the front of the gym in front of the mirror. Using dumbells and the bench is really hard as someone who is starting out because you're really on display, or at least you feel like you are. I had to put on my headphones and just stay focused on what i was there for. Jjst be a total beast for this hour of my day, get all the stress out, and *imagine* myself with that Saiyan body. As soon as the pump goes away when i get home, if i see myself in the mirror im like "dang im skinny again." More recently I've been taking control of my diet and trying to get enough or more than enough when i can. All said, its very difficult to take control of what you can to improve your body dismorphia, but some things are possible. The things that you are literally unable to change, like injuries or abnormalities are more difficult but I encourage everyone in a situation like that need to literally fake it til you make it. Its like your own private placebo and it works. If you act confident, the true confidence will come. This community welcomes you and loves you, and I'm sure we aren't the only ones.

[@raymondmurdock8603]

the lack of perception change is a good point i went from 420 pounds to 223 pounds but when i look in the mirror i don't feel like i lost that much i feel just as fat as ever!

[@Mr.Tiddlesby]

32:01For me, being short has caused me so much mental anguish. I'm 5'3" and for a good portion of my teen and young adult years I did everything I could to try and get taller. I've been turned down for dates because of my height, one girl I started dating broke up with me because she thought she could get past my height, but in the end couldn't. But beyond that stuff, when you're shorter, people don't respect you as much. Which is where I think the "Napoleon complex" comes from. Some people see you're short and just don't respect you unless you do something about it.

[@dark_fire_ice]

It has come to my attention; I loathe my own image. It's rather curious, I take few extra seconds for me to recognize my photo/reflection, but the inner revulsion keys me in. However, I instantly recognize old photos of myself (as anything pre teen), and no revulsion, just recognition.

[@JemyM]

Since I am into psychology and extreme communities I have been looking into several such groups and I drew a relation between Pro-Ana groups and Incel groups that seems kinda obvious if you know them but people who just saw the "Incels are woman-hating murderers" will never see. Basically my theory is that male body dysmorphia have been something that we just did not talk about, while anorexia is believed to be self-starving women. These communities help each with (bad) tips on how they should handle their negative self-image and have more in common than people realize.

[@zukomaki]

I just want to leave some constructive criticism, try writing what you want to say down as a script. Read it, and see how often you repeat yourself unnecessarily. The first 7 minutes could have been said way better in a more condensed thought out way rather than the repetitive ramble it is. It is still a good video to talk about this. But I do think you'd benefit way more from writing your thoughts down. All is meant in good spirit.

[@dzontra_volta]

This is exactly why I stopped socializing with my friends when I was younger. In my teens, all this taking photos and posting them on Facebook started, and I just hated looking at my own photos so much. Whenever I would look at a photo of myself, I would just think - jesus christ, is this really me? So i just stopped going out altogether. It was this thing that I couldn't deal with, and it started this whole snow ball effect that lasts till this day. Time to get better.

[@SemekiIzuio]

Haha I had the same reaction. Tbf though the camera and lighting are not a real effect on how a person looks on images in 3D real life. Anyways, I'm not perfect I see myself as average but I know for a fact if I go anywhere near comparing myself to others or looking in social media at pictures I know I will never look like (influencers artists actors rich people) for one I'm from a different culture and there isnt enough representation of it in media for two my parents genes werent exactly stellar or good looking just average human beings and for three I will never amass large amounts of money to change my appearance and keeping up with that maintenance of that appearance.

[@NINacide]

17:00 I have a complaint. You put such a high emphasis on how the parents treat a child, but this is ignoring the bullying and abuse a child gets from his siblings. My parents were not bad people, but my brother is a psychopath and he hurt me often, and he is responsible for many things. The biggest shortcoming of my parents was their ineffectiveness to discipline and civilize my abusive brother.

[@O_Tucano]

Yup. Or bullying at school which was my case

[@artur7830]

People just need to realize that if u eat healthier and go to the gym it = your body looking better

[@gsilvy4k570]

The fitness community has an insanely large amount of body dysmorphia.

[@Han-nk3io]

it is hard to stay discipline that is why majority won't do it.

[@aaronolson6736]

OH wait this just hits everything. I think I had realized this to some extent about myself but hearing each part fully gone though helped a lot

[@stevebob240]

Great discussion but the audio sync is pretty bad for most of the video. Thanks Dr K!

[@metalnep]

body image issues in men manifested by subconcious image comparisons and connected to not knowing how to describe your feelings, damn this hits home

[@MassMultiplayer]

not caring about being unnessesarily optionaly superficialy stressed and insecure about your look = good looking. secure solid calm

[@SemekiIzuio]

Well yeah men cant be insecure ,they have to be the perfect problem solver without emotions and who needs to constantly affirm how great and beautiful their women are meanwhile they get not help whatsoever.

[@copetimusmaximus3363]

There's a lot of gaslighting in this video. The differences in _objective_ beauty have very little to do with perception.

[@Han-nk3io]

isn't that what therapy is all about?

[@Scyllless]

I do have hypercritical parents, but I have no problem recognizing my own feelings. Then again, i am also not socially isolated and never felt anxiety about it except when it comes to romance. I think because of those body image issues, i try to be the best person I can and developed almost something like a helper syndrome. I think I am worthless because of the way I look, and because i am worthless, I must help people in order to gain rights to actually live on this planet. So i became a person that I almost confidently know is actually almost universally liked as a friend, or liked as someone people can kind of just use if they want to because my worth comes from helping other people. I dont even want anything back for doing that except for the feeling that I have a right to be alive. And that all stems from body image issues that in my case have nothing to do with muscle dysmorphia. I'm not skinny, and thats the problem in my case. It just manifests quite differently to what Dr K. described it to be and almost feels as though its more similar to female body dysmorphia, most definitely. "Because I look the way I do, I am not worthy to live among people who are all normal and not as hideous as I am. Therefore i must prove my worth somehow." Interesting how even so, I keep up a facade and actually am quite social to compensate. I mean, people need to know I am available for them and thats not going to happen if i just stay inside. Super interesting topic Dr K, I would really appreciate more on this topic at some point. You made my day :) Edit: The selfie thing is so true. I have not posted a single selfie on any open-to-the-public social media platform, ever. Ever. And that is going to stay that way until i either die, or fix this issue. I actually wondered about that exact question; why there are people who tend to post a lot of selfies when they have those issues. I could never. But then again, one criteria for body dysmorphia is OCD like obsession with the own body to the point where they look at themselves in a mirror for hours, while I can't stand the sight of literally any reflective surface whatsoever. I think its super interesting how the issue can be the same, but the response to it can be vastly different.

[@LukeTheDuke55]

Been learning more and more about my alexithymia, love all your videos. It all connects!

[@Tr1s]

Not sure about body dysmorphia but as someone who was raised around martal arts all my life I built up an unheathly obsession with strength, what some of my peers called a borderline "power fantasy" which I am just getting to grips with. (Was to the point where I trained so much I had multiple joints inflamed and had to be stopped from training because I kept going with inflamed joints)

[@darkmatter345]

I have social anxiety disorder and i used to be anxious/afraid of mirrors and reflective surfaces, i also try to avoid them - is this related to my anxiety or do i have some kind of body image issue? Like i have tried to lose weight all my life (ive always been overweight) and right now i have managed to do it in a healthy way. As a guy the ironic thing is that guys usually want to be big and muscly but i want to be slim (like normal slim, not skinny).

[@nolongerjuicyboiz4413]

Exact same. I have social anxiety and i used to have body dysmorphia and avoid mirrors. Ironically, stopping looking in mirrors altogether for maybe like a year or two seemed to cure the body dysmorphia. Social anxiety and body dysmorphia have an unusually high comorbidity, and they have the same treatments, so they do seem to stem from a similar place. Social anxiety is almost like you view people as mirrors, and so you become scared of people because you're focused on what other people's reactions say about you - people just become mirrors to view yourself, and you don't like what you see, so you end up being afraid of people.

[@bencochrane6112]

I was wondering if body dismorphia is a product of modern success. Not to knock down or diminish anyone with it, but thinking about it this way may give a reasonable way to "self-treat" in a way that won't put you in the hospital. The idea is this: life is too comfortable, and therefore people become overly obsessed with body image. In previous generations more of your daily life would just be focused on finding enough food to eat, or avoiding death in general. As such, whilst social hierarchies are still an important part of survival, there would still be plenty of niches to climb those hierarchies that were more centered on competence or unique skills/attributes that you bring to your group. As technology progresses, less human effort is needed on these skills, and so more of the successful survival in your environment is social - looking good and interacting with others well is more important than it used to be. Hence why obsession over body image rises in societies. It's not too different from being obsessed with how plants grow to a farming focused community, or how animals behave to a hunting community. Its the kind of extreme focus that leads to a creature furiously rubbing sticks together for seemingly no reason until fire is generated. For evidence of this trend you can see the Mousetopia experiments, where life was made extremely comfortable for a colony of mice. One of the effects was obsessive self grooming in some mice, even though they never engaged in any reproductive activities. Not a great peice of evidence, but you could could start a study there. To prove that this is a modern phenomena, yoh could do a literature analysis of stories - when did body dismorphia become a part of creative writing? If its always present then we can dump this hypothesis of mine. Or, it may indicate that body dismorphia was only present in individuals with comfortable lives. If the hypothesis is true, then treatment would probably be in purposefully making your life more difficult - frequent camping trips, multi day excursions in the wild without support etc. The idea would be to readjust the patients focus to things other than social hierarchies. We can sort of see a pattern like this in "higher functioning" body dismorphia sufferers. Obsessive body building and strict diet control sucks, but develops a healthier body/personality than anorexia or similar responses. Whether that's healthy long term or not, it's generally harder to notice BD in a stacked gym bro than a very vert skinny person. Just a thought.

[@SanctifiedLady]

I am a mesomorph and I am a women. A body like Cameron Diaz, wide shoulders more big bones than like a fleshy woman, not curvy… usually beautiful face and facial features and bones Been called a boy, insinuating that I was lesbian Because of my bone structure and athletic appearance. It has caused dysmorphia, I wish ppl would be more loving and not judging ppl for their body parts.

[@MrBungle900]

I was obsessed with having a big nose since my teens. I had awful social anxiety and was convinced I was ugly. Eventually I got a nose job but I was still ugly. So I began obsessively exercising until I decided to get liposuction. I was only 75kg at the time and 5’8”. After that I began to eat and train in a regimented way. I packed on 5kg of muscle at best. I train for 2 hours everyday. Have paid a shit ton of money on personal trainers too. Still do. But I am still weak and ugly. I now get botox injections and paid thousands of pounds to have perfect teeth. Yet I’m still convinced I’m ugly. I have terrible social anxiety and rarely socialise. I live like a recluse. I’ve also been married twice and have a beautiful partner. I’m forever bemused and sceptical whenever anyone is attracted to me. I’ve also had 10 years of therapy too. I think this belief is so deep within me that it’s wrapped around my soul.

[@Nobody78989]

Bro make sure you're at least 12% body fat before getting any type of facial plastic surgery or Botox filler

[@IWantToStayAtYourHouse]

@@Nobody78989im ripped asf but was ugly. Got facial bone surgery and now I'm relativey less insecure about my face

[@noface658]

75kg at 5'8 is way above average muscle mass

[@EspyJW]

Heads up @healthygamer. At 8:30, the video and audio get de-syncronized.

[@raymondmurdock8603]

it's not always about societies beauty standards it's not always about social media telling you how you should look it's not always a girl that wants to be slim because supermodels exist her two or a guy that wants to be buffed to look like a marvel superhero sometimes most of it's just about your own personal standards even if they have no logical reason for existing it's about you just knowing you don't look or feel the way you want to and that being enough to drive the behavior it's still a body image issue but it's not one that makes sense or has a logical source it's just how all of your internal struggles and anxieties and traumas just manifest in you're eating disorder and it's all just random your brain just picks one and says this is the magic answer that will solve all your problems obsess over this at the cost of everything else

[@nikmok436]

Always thought I was mutant level ugly as a teen. Turns out I have always been pretty 'good looking' according to a lot of people, and I started to see it over the last two years. Noticrd if my mood is low its like I don't see myself for how I am in the mirror. When my mood is okay I realise what I was seeing wasn't the truth