You Can’t Live Your Life To The Fullest

[@arenkai]

Today I was depressed, called in sick at work, put on a backpack and I walked. No destination in mind, I just went in a straight line and directed myself towards stuff that looked interesting. I ended up walking 15km before realising I had the trip back home to do still. I'm currently sitting on a bench in a park to cool down my feet and half-way home. Today was one of the most interesting experiences I had in a very long time. We may not be able to "live our lives to the fullest", but today came pretty damn close for me.

[@TheMeetymeet]

I always live life the best way you can. Before watching the video, my way of seeing it is as long as we're able to breath, there's a better tomorrow.

[@RaZziaN1]

Dunno if it help you, but friend was diagnosed with reocurring depression (seasonal) - he started walking 20km daily, anda after 7 months now he's was fully treated - for "theoretically untreatable disease - 25 years" - it probably alone wasn't something which healed him, but probably started upward spiral

[@fishbinky]

Lucky you! i am 23, disabled and haven't been able to walk for months. Everything is extremely painful and i don't have very much support from my family on account of me being trans and living in the south. I am pretty much screwed in life lol. Remember not to take the little things for granted

[@isaaccardin]

You got lost in the present moment and lost track of time and goals and felt free for once. Congrats on your near-life experience!

[@amusiclover7340]

Hope you get home safe and rest your legs! It’s important to stretch especially if they’re not used to walking for that long.

[@melsd8750]

“I trust myself to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.” This isn’t from Dr. K or anything, this video just reminded me of my little mantra

[@coolpfpbut]

I like it

[@xX_dash_Xx]

Yeah this ain't me (just submitted an assignment 3 days late 😎)

[@michaelfrances5325]

Actually doctor K says that in the mental health bootcampt about Yoga and Meditation: "You cant move mountains, cant even move yourself. And thats fine. You can be this Person and you will do what needs be done." And I like that alot

[@juiceboxbzrk]

Once I started thinking like this it really made anxious feelings redundant

[@camronchlarson3767]

I'm borrowing this thanks :)

[@destroyerinazuma96]

To share a snippet of my life, I had this Japanese oral exam and I knew I was the worst in my class, but after struggling I accepted it and did my best. I had a blast. I was spontaneous, I was talking as often as I could without monopolising attention, I was making mistakes left and right but it was fluid. Ended up with a C+ and proud of myself.

[@StarLight-oh6bf]

Amazing

[@haunts3479]

weeb 😂

[@braumski2]

Ooo nice, proud of you

[@freetolisten]

@@haunts3479 a committed weeb is worth a praise!

[@coolpfpbut]

This guy... always posting videos on subjects the exact moment I need them most. Thanks Dr. K!

[@xCCflierx]

Feel like I was just tanking and didn't notice my hp was low and this guy is just always like "you're overextending, pull back!" And then BOOM hits me with healing at just the right time

[@FarheenRaihan]

Yes damn finally the algorithm is working for me 👉😭👈

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

It’s life giving u sings

[@XeLYoutube]

*insert indian word related to it Karhjmmah

[@ConservativeSatanist666]

Agreed :3

[@MetalLark001]

Stop making me cry Doctor K.

[@moonrose100]

The funny thing about "living life to the fullest" is I've been sold the idea that doing that is traveling, creating a business, going to parties, it's all the good things and a lot of it is something that the rich can do "easily" (I'm certain they have hoops and stuff to jump through) but the poor and middle class will struggle a lot to get most of those things.

[@DieterPrivate]

What it means depends on you. Living life to the fullest can be so different from person to person.

[@Barb.u]

I agree, without thinking about it we are presented with a paradigm of “living life to the fullest”. It sounds great to travel, have fun and be your own boss, so we chase that only to realize that we can’t reach it or it’s just not what we actually wanted.

[@mylegispotato]

And when you are rich and can easily do all of those things yet you still don't is when it hits way too hard. I don't think there is a single thing that is unreachable for me, yet I rarely feel good enough to even try any of them. But that's good. When I do one of them it's because I want to do it for myself, not for others. This last month I started going to the clubs, which with social anxiety wasn't easy. But I don't go there to pick up girls or impress anybody. I just want to move with the music and it's even fun to do it sober for me. Did the same thing with social media, I've finally signed up for ig and started uploading pics from my new dlsr which I also don't do for external validation anymore. Likes are a nice touch but I just do it for myself, to build some personal space that I can easily share with others.

[@moonrose100]

Good for you! Sounds like you're growing!

[@moonrose100]

Totally! It takes some prioritizing to find out what you think is worth it as an individual.

[@weakamna]

"Getting a B still improves your average", I think that helped me a lot. It reminded me of the saying "even the people who limp laps the people on the couch". I need to keep reminding myself that moving forward whenever possible is so much better than waiting for "the best time to move forward"

[@HollyAnn]

“Readiness is the acceptance of pain.” Is my favorite one liner quote from this lecture. I might add it to my collection of fav quotes!

[@Jazzmaster1992]

I think "readiness" is dangerous not just because of the confidence issue, but because it creates an avoidant situation. You can avoid facing possible rejection or failure by just "getting ready", with the caveat that you'll never actually be ready, unless the thing you want to be ready for just "happens" to you. I've been "working on myself", partially from the advice of others, so I could be "ready" for a relationship for about a decade now. Of course, it hasn't really worked. I'm still not ready. I'm still behind. I still don't feel like it's the right time. I still look for reasons why I'm not good enough. And now more than ever I find myself in a state of avoidance, by saying I don't have room in my life, I'm too busy with work and other obligations, so I don't even try. Hell, I've even had women approach me and seem interested on occasion, but nope. I'm not "ready", so I don't even bother trying to engage with them meaningfully, get to know them and see if it could lead anywhere. Yep. The readiness trap really sucks.

[@capp12249]

I'm 22 and only ever had one boyfriend, and this definitely resonates with me a lot. I could see myself doing the same, in 10 years maybe I won't be any more ready than I am now. Maybe it's time to put myself out there.

[@TehKarmalizer]

It’s why I’m still in the same job after 10 years despite being so bored, uninspired, and frustrated with it.

[@madcat6299]

I want to say something, this thing is probably a different story and different issue but is still somehow connected to the topic of this video. The thing about being ready in all kinds of situation can be dangerous too if not taken on the right context. So when I was a teenager, I was a yes person. Do this, do that. I tried to mask my anxiety and do all the things that was presented in my face even though I wasn't ready for it yet. I tried to take all of the opportunities and failed at most of it. In the end, the mask I put as confidence revealed my incompetence. The entitled teenager me believed that, she can get all the good things without working hard for it, just have confidence. That failure led me to depression and became the person that this video is talking about. I overcompensated and went to the different side of the spectrum. I think I have to hide in my room, never show myself to anyone, practice all day, and all night and maybe in a year I can be better. But I never reached that point, after 3 years I still wasn't ready. The problem I had before was I wasn't listening to my fears. I removed it from the equation and now presented a different problem. It's the same avoidant issue. I just wasn't aware of it at that time. I never really learned anything from it because again, I was avoiding thinking all the things that created the problem in the first place. But being alone in my room gave me some time to think about all the things I did in the past, which is also a major development for me, I will say. I learned to be afraid and maybe take some caution when needed. But also be confident enough to take some risks from time to time.

[@TehKarmalizer]

@@madcat6299 exactly. It’s important to be aware of your fears, but also aware of where you are right now in relation to what you are setting out to accomplish.

[@DaDualityofMan]

@@capp12249 Yeah, I'm 25 and only had one girlfriend and that was in high school, now that I'm halfway through my 20s it's really dawning on me that I'm not getting any younger and I should try to find "the one".

[@marreco6347]

The most important thing I've learned is that it's better to fuck up than not even try.

[@grayhalf1854]

A big realisation for me was that it's normally folly to expect to have to feel motivated in order to take action; more often than not it's the motivation that follows from taking action. Very difficult when you're suffering from depression of course... 😐

[@royk.9347]

I definitely relate

[@ashuranero5721]

It also difficult to take action if you don't have motivation, even if you have no depression. Or maybe the lack of motivation is a bit of depression

[@SuperLotus]

@@ashuranero5721 I guess someone without depression could just be hanging out and having fun with their friends all the time rather than rather than accomplishing their goals. However, as someone who's had very few friends my entire life, I would say that spending time with friends is part of living life to its fullest (assuming they're good quality friends).

[@Relhio]

My dad told me one very important thing: Sometimes there's no point in over-analyzing the pros and cons, and you just have to stop thinking and just do it. It's rare that you lose motivation while doing something that you dread, so the best option is to just get up, get dressed and go do the thing without thinking.

[@xCCflierx]

We don't all got the same class. Don't all got the same build. But he's helping all of our builds at the same time.

[@weakamna]

These are all of the basic tips and tricks that everyone should know, but that are never explained properly in the tutorial.

[@Shadsterwolf]

As an artist, this is the best thing I needed to hear. Hundreds of thousands of hours of work of progress, but didn't want to show it because it wasn't my ideal "A"

[@zeidrichthorene]

On Depression, I don't think it's just the "I conquered my depression" that gets upvoted. The "Depression is kicking my ass" also get upvoted. The thing that nobody cares about is the "I'm kind of doing OK but I'm struggling with this minor thing still". From these people you'll get responses from the people who are at the lowest point saying "hey, stop whining, at least you're able to get out of bed" and from the gigachads they will just try and tell you how they don't have a problem with that any more ever since they found the secret. But it's always the extremes. But just being somewhere in the middle and struggling tends to lead to a lot of invalidation, because you're kind of not depressed enough to get acknowledged for actually being depressed, but at the same time, you didn't go and turn your life around and create a world class startup and make 8 figures in 3 years. It's like "Hooray, I can sometimes do my laundry before I run out of underwear as long as I'm on my medication and don't have anything stressful happen at work." but the only response you'll get is people saying like "Well, you're lucky you can do laundry at all, I haven't changed since I last went to bed 7 years ago, and I'm too depressed to even work up the will to die of starvation." as though it's some kind of mental illness olympics that you can only win if you can prove your condition is the most debilitating.

[@LAKD]

People don't like hearing people complain when they have it better than them, especially on the internet. If you have depression, going on Reddit or any other chat-like social media is a bad idea imo.

[@cubescihist6737]

The problem is that, no matter your level of depression, there’s ALWAYS going to be someone in the world who’s gonna be worse off. We should just accept that everyone suffers in their own way and stop making it a competition.

[@patiakreles]

Dude I had a huge depression where I didn't even shower or brush my teeth, ate cereal for like 2 years. I also struggled with my image so I was extremely skinny and malnourished. I didn't even get out of bed most of the time. The funny thing is I have always hated just being on my bed, but I didn't even think I deserved to leave my bed to be happy because I was a shitty human being. I spent two more years in college and this all happened because my thesis went wrong, that collapsed my small illusion of stability and I spiraled down to what I just described. Of course that wasn't the only thing, but I was always an overachiever so that failure hit me hard. Now I'm so much better. Whenever I don't do something that I feel I should be doing I ask myself if I'm not doing it because I actually don't want to do it or if I feel like I'm going to fail, but I really want it. When I want it I simply divide the goal into small steps. Right now I'm going to start using my sewing machine, I couldn't find a teacher so I said "ok, I can do this with a teacher or I can do this with a slow learning curve... Ok I'm going to buy fabrics then" and today I will spend the afternoon trying to learn. if I figure that I don't enjoy it that much I will start other hobby until I find other activity that I like. That for me is living life to the fullest, just don't let your mind control what you do.

[@dylanr4903]

hi thanks for sharing that. I wanted to ask if you dont mind, how did you get over feeling like a shitty human being?

[@patiakreles]

@@dylanr4903 hi, I had been in and off depression for like 5 years before that spiralinh down. About 5 years ago I went to a psychiatrist and started taking meds (after having heavy suicidal thoughts for like 5 mo ths) , I have been on therapy for the last 5 years and not everyday has been pretty. I feel like I finally got out of depression during november of last year. The main tool is therapy, the second is leaving ALL drugs and get rid of anchoring people (I stopped talking to half of my family and friends) and leaving unauthorized drugs. I used to smoke pot alone to calm down and get drunk a lot at parties, full stopped all that shit about 3 months after starting therapy. I stopped doing things that I didn't enjoy that weren't mandatory, too (like seeing my family). I met my current boyfriend a couple of weeks after I stopped drinking, he was on that same vibe. We still don't drink to this day, maybe in the last 5 years he has gotten 2 beers and I have gothen like 3 zips of different drinks to taste them. We supported each other, he got a little bit burn out (that kind of caretaker burnout) so now I'm supporting him more. I recommend researching about negative internal dialogue, I listened to people telling me that I was shitty. I gave them authority to do so and I repeated that all the time in my mind. Botomline, Everything has to do with getting to know yourself. I was not shitty, I had a ton of people telling me that, but now I see that I have a ton of value. I'm very patient when teaching, extremely kind and polite. I get angry, but never, ever mean..I'm fair. I know how to do a ton of stuff so I'm very handy, I know a ton of excel now (lol), I'm passionate and I'm loyal as f*. When I make mistakes I say I'm sorry. When I feel shitty I just repeat like a broken record that I made A mistake, and I look for ways to repair them... Just "the next steps". I hope this helps you. Btw, I learned how to sew after spending like 40 hours last week on that, lol. I'm still battling ADHD (that got diagnosed 6 months ago) and some obsessive behaviors, but life got easier. 5 years spent getting better, I'm confident that this is an investment for my future. If I live 40 years more I will live them in a much better shape than my 20's. Consistency is key!!

[@ephemeral1052]

I have moments of feeling shitty interspersed with feeling worthy. But it doesn’t change depending on circumstances or people, the same people can make me feel good and on top of the world and worse the next day. When I connect with my emotions I feel okay but when I don’t, I feel empty and not in tune with anything. So I don’t know if I’m really not okay or if I imagine it.

[@patiakreles]

@@ephemeral1052 @ephemeral it's very difficult ti overcome feeling shitty. I would recommend to have a diary or have an app to track how you feel. Sometimes we tend to look at things through the greyest lens possible and if you have evidence that you felt ok a day or two it helps to "integrate" (as calculus integrating) your previous experiences. Maybe you think your life is entirely shitty, but if you had 1 good day of 7 that's 14% of good days. Later you can increase it to more days. I tracked with an app how were my days and I remember june of 2017 that my days went from all bad to having one good day here and there. It takes time though. I'm dealing with some stuff, but having done the exercise of integrating what my entire life is has helped me to cope. I got two kinda bad diagnoses in the last 2 weeks and I felt really sad for days, like I would cry and felt like crying constantly. I knew that it was normal to feel that way because dude, how could I smile knowing I have 2 more conditions that will need constant medical attention. Life's "not fair" I told myself during those days. But, in reality a lot of people have these issues, but never go to the doctor and don't get to treat them. I went through my shitty week and now I can say that I cannot wait until I get my first treatment so I feel better already. I'm thankful to have found doctors that saw a fixable problem. I'm still a little bit bitter about the whole situation, but accepting whatever is happening and dealing with stuff that's actually under your control is the best strategy. I definitely can't do anything about having an autoimmune disease, severe asthma, ADHD and osteoarthritis, that stuff is part of me. They will never go away, I had just acceptes that my life was going to be filled with a lot of headaches and other complications due to my ostheoartritis and it turns out that there's hope.

[@ziggyfreefall2774]

These videos have changed my life. I've actually managed to begin actually participating in life, conversing with strangers and neighbours even though I'm deathly afraid of socializing, I've put my diet in proper order, its dry and full of kale and I'd rather eat sand than kale but god dammit its really good for me so i'm going to eat it. I want to actually start experiencing my life now, and take control of my destiny. I don't have to feel ready anymore I'm just going to do it even if i suck at first.

[@dreambrush7251]

honestly, for me personally, when I told myself that I might never live my life to the fullest, that's when i felt liberated. Just think about it, if you have the moon to your fingers, you will still grow bored of it and not feel like you're fulfilled. We're living in an era where technology is advanced, access to food compared to our ancestors and we still have that "oh but i don't feel like I enjoy my life to the fullest, we need to get to the next big thing!!" mentality. Human mind is weird like that, I think we're basically programmed to want more and more and more and has become the norm of the society of this never ending circle. In my case is basically acknowledging this and I felt a bit more free and not so much of the pressure, although not sure what next lol

[@scoopitywoop]

Buddha said that you could get a guy and solve his every problem, grant his every wish, and he'd still find a way to be unhappy and create more unfulfilled wishes. We get more sodium and more vitamins in one weekend than our ancestors would get in a month. Every day should feel amazing. It's only our minds imprisoning us.

[@67kingdedede]

"Free your mind and your ass will follow"

[@brattysubenthusiast]

the scientific approach is that dopamine is the chemical of yearning,it motivates you,then rewards you with pleasure. if you have nothing to go after,your dopamine system crashes,and you suffer. A LOT. Also even though we are on the very community discussing these topics,might as well remember that you can also overload your dopamine system with instant/small effort and/or telegraphed gratification to the point where the only thing that makes you get out of bed is the stimulant,its how any form of addiction works.

[@bhavyashokeen8106]

"The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less" - Socrates

[@tili_]

schopenhauer talks about this

[@dustfang5422]

I have a thing I've been using that I call "through the breach". It's the idea that sometimes you just have to go for it, regardless of how ready you are (within reason). It's helped me occasionally when I've fared something I knew I had to do, and couldn't remain where I was. This feels like a less dramatic extension of that idea, that every moment is, in some small way, 'through the breach'. thanks for keeping me thinking.

[@deadinside8781]

But what made you call it "through the breach"?

[@dustfang5422]

@@deadinside8781 military analogy. The idea that to get where you need to be you must pass through a place of great danger, discomfort, or fear.

[@madcat6299]

I have a friend on social media that always posts her artworks online whether it's good or bad. I thought to myself, wow this person is so confident, why am I not like her? I know to myself that my artworks are better, I practice everyday, and I still not feel ready to post my stuff. I am scared what people might think of me, what if they think that I am mediocre. In my head I wanted to become the best but right now I am not the best yet. That type of mentality is what hindered my own progress. I built up my confidence to post my artworks online, and I got good feedback from my friends, and I was so happy that I continued to do it everyday. I post the good ones and the bad ones even though some of them didn't receive well, I still didn't care but post them no matter what. Now I have this habit of posting all my stuff online. I got motivated to make few artworks to post everyday. That realization changed me, and I made so many progress in few weeks than I ever had in the last few years.

[@alqdsemper221]

Been lurkin and mostly watching Dr K while playing games on the side. Hits harder when I just sit and watch and don't use it as a background stuff while distracting myself. Always so hard trying to get out of being stuck. Like setting sail from a shore littered with the shipwreck of your past attempts. Ah.

[@frozenfury0]

Good analogy, and more often times then not we fail to see that each boat was at the very least a new experience, unlike are mundane life on the shore.

[@loganmichaeldouglas]

That was beautiful.

[@wanderingrandomer]

I know everyone always says it, but after Dr. K mentioned the 'now what?' awkwardness after overcoming the worst of anxiety, I realised that that's where I am right now. I'd love to travel, and see a bit of the world, but years of withdrawal from socialising has made me completely intolerant of risk, and the thought of spending extended time away from home fills me with dread. People go on holidays abroad by themselves as teenagers, but I'm 29 and have never been able to. I feel bad because I have family badgering me to come and see them in London, which isn't ever abroad for me, but I struggle with the idea a lot.

[@pabulumm]

I think I had an easier time traveling when I was in my 20's than I do now in my 30's! I think some people become more fearful as they get older. I hope you're able to visit your family someday.

[@Nik.No.K]

Yeah I started my quarter life crisis right after high school. It’s been ten years now and I hope it ends soon

[@eonryan8491]

4:46 - problem in mental injury 5:29 - how to deal with mental injuries 6:27 - why we don't do things when we wanna do things 6:55 - what is readiness? 7:23 - what falling behind does to our sense of readiness (feeling ready and being ready is 2 different things) 8:11 - readiness is an insecurity problem that seems to have an external solution 11:28( example - 12:32) - human nature; we insert into the minds of other people the way we think about ourselves; we assume people will come to the some conclusions as we have 12:04 - what we think will happen; usually not the case 14:43 - DrK is not saying don't prepare at all 15:39 - what readiness really means 16:07 - why people who want to live life to the fullest cannot do anything 17:23 - readiness is the avoidance of pain in its essence 18:57 - how to root this problem away 21:54 - the irony of readiness 23:25 - acceptance of situation; bad rng, so be it 24:18 - living life to a fullest? unsolvable problem. you're gonna get to fullest eventually but never gonna figure it out ahead of time. 25:27 - how to REALLY live life to the fullest 30:21 - be here; do the thing. Then you'll live life to the fullest. simple. hard, but simple. That's life. 33:08-33:30 - seize the day; enjoy everyday to its fullest

[@jt2018]

Thanks :)

[@whoisgliese]

tysm

[@SuperbFairy]

This sense of being behind in life from bad things happening, and then being unable to enjoy things coming our way because they can't be perfect and 'make things right' again struck me deeply here, it's a battle returning to normal function because you feel that unless something is going to be a 10/10 then you avoid it to avoid the disappointment

[@Semicolon42]

The talk about "whole" reminded me of this poem: No man is an island, Entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manor of thine own Or of thine friend's were. Each man's death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind. Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee. -John Donne

[@fweewain]

Being ready is a choice we make deciding that whatever happens will be good enough. I've been struggling all my life with low self esteem. I grew up in an abusive household with a mother who degraded me and put me down every chance she got. I've been spending the last couple weeks trying to unlearn all of the negative traits I inherited by living in that situation. Please friends, understand that you won't be where you want to be overnight. It's a process. It takes time. You don't have to do it alone. You will struggle. You will fail. You'll fall down over and over again. But don't let that stop you from getting back up and moving forward.

[@themarkus6472]

Listen to dr k. It’s true. I’ve been depressed from a health problem that I can’t control. I also had a vivid vision almost like a fantasy of how I want my life to be. I realize that it’s stopping me from actually doing anything with my life because I am constantly scrolling on social media for some magical thing that will instantly change things. I realize that if I stay in my head nothing good will happen. There is no magical thing that will change your life like people make us believe to sell something. Life is about making tiny changes over time that might lead to results through decipline, patience, and hope or faith. There is only so much we can control. So why worry about the future if we can’t predict it. I think that the reason you thoughts have skewed so much is that on social media everyone acts like they know everything. While I am clueless. It makes me feel like there is a certain way I need to act or be like to get maximize success. I found that not only does that give anxiety because you should be your authentic self at all times while still being a good person. But I keep thinking about the past and different things I wish I knew before that I know know and choices I wish I made different because they affect me a lot in the present.

[@KringusKrang]

This is why I love this community so much, it feels like I can apply almost everyone's story to my own, we are all going through the same shit. Thank you Dr K

[@lippytrout]

I really needed this - I'm 22 and feeling the same way as OP, there are a lot of things that I dream of doing but never get around to it - dating being one example, some creative projects, getting a job too. Getting ready is really a common theme between many of them, and I can never accept making the leap of faith without the necessary prep. Live life halfway really stuck with me, and I'll try it. I hope that I can keep this in mind moving forward. Best of luck to everyone!

[@agustinberrios7716]

good luck bro!

[@hannah-fg5rc]

"The triumph of the human spirit is how we represent adversity." Really powerful stuff. Beautifully said!!

[@goodguysgaming0727]

i know like legally none of this is like advice or whatever the disclaimer is, but almost everytime you post a video, it is something that I understand I can apply to my life. your videos are not necessarily "filling a gap" but definitely providing a service that is "narrowing the gap" of learning how to live my life more intentionally and with more understanding of myself and my loved ones and everyone i meet. thank you DR. K. I appreciate you.

[@goodguysgaming0727]

idk if anyone will respond to this, but does anyone have any recommendations for some literature i can read about some of these sanskrit or hinduistic lessons.

[@mxshty9304]

I needed to hear this so bad. Your timing is always just perfect. I feel really good mentioning that just watching your videos often had helped me so much. The values and advices that you have to offer are precious. Its like receiving free therapy. I never thought I would learn so much about my mental health and mindfulness for absolutely free. Keep doing what you're doing dr.k, you are making so many lives better!

[@connorholmes8786]

Dr. K you just changed my whole life and you actually just made this whole thing click for me. “Whatever it has to offer, just take it” and the part about how you can’t live life to the fullest if you only seek the pleasure half without going through “the whole” of both pain and pleasure

[@jes1636]

Thanks so much for uploading this. I’ve been housebound for six years, since I was 14, due to anxiety, depression and a few other diagnoses. It took me a long time to realise that there isn’t really such a thing as missing out - we all live our own lives and walk our own paths, so I’ve accepted that this has happened to me through that. Still have a way to go, but your videos have been great.

[@connorholmes8786]

22:21 acceptance of pain

[@nbonasoro]

The funny thing is, when I entered college I had the belief that I had missed all the parties in high school and I wanted to make up for all the missed time with new people making a new me. I think I succeeded because I didn't put too much pressure on myself and enjoyed it. I simply made a rule that I would look for activities and say yes to any invitation. As a result I won the student government associations award for the most involved student sophomore year.

[@TheLemonsDidIt]

Thank you Dr. K, for everything on behalf of all those you helped 💛

[@jacob6878]

One other incredibly powerful thing about actively challenging your "readiness": when you do finally take on that thing you don't feel ready for and it goes poorly, you'll often find that it doesn't hurt as much as you had anticipated. When this happens, it can have a profoundly positive impact on not only on your self perception but also of your understanding of the reality of that thing. For example, if you've been scared of asking out this girl you really like for years and then you finally do it and she rejects you, you may realize you don't like her nearly as much as you had thought, and so her rejection of you doesn't hold the same weight.

[@rileysimmons6572]

As a personal trainer, 15 minutes in the gym is not a C. A lot of my clients come into the gym planning to spend multiple hours in the gym every day. It’s unnecessary. You can make excellent results with short workouts. Especially if you come in more times in the week. in many cases, it’s even better than two hour workouts

[@siddarthamusic]

I used to do that prayer/sutra everynight as a kid with my dad. But I never really knew what it meant until today. truly a full circle moment 🙏🏼

[@gymnopedie8473]

This is definitely me but in a video game. I kept practicing in a practice lobby forever in fear of losing in online match and raging. Until one day steam notified me that I reached 1000hours playing the damn game with just roughly 50 hours spent online and 950 hours in practice and eventually after I got good in what I'm practicing I lost interest in it and barely even plays it nowadays.

[@Victorgreat4]

haha damn man rip

[@soultheconfusing9563]

What game was this I wonder

[@light63478]

@@soultheconfusing9563 csgo I reckon

[@pragatikhadye4241]

Damn

[@gymnopedie8473]

It's Tekken 7 for anyone wondering what game it is.

[@IllIlllI]

K dropping advice like a max lvl player dropping items, changing the meta in the process. True alchemist!

[@tedoymisojos]

In my experience vulnerability (disclosing that one is in the struggle bus) needs to be done thoughtfully. You can easily lose, or make sour, relationships. It has to be the right person, at the right time. Wouldnt be called vulnerability if you weren't risking humiliation, scorn, etc.

[@adamcarlesco1650]

I just wanted to say that I greatly appreciate your integration of the wisdom of the Upanishads and Buddha into your work. I've found the teachings of the dharmic religions to be incredibly helpful in improving mental health.

[@Soul-Burn]

Just yesterday I felt like crap for some good reasons. Felt like I don't want to do my workout. Said fuck it "I do one set and we'll see from there". As I went on, angry/annoyed exercising, one set was over... then the next, and then the final one. You don't have to be ready to do everything at once. Just do one small thing. One step. Some days you'll flow into a rhythm, some days you'll do just the one step, but in either case you'd be at least one step ahead. Like in the video about addiction... there's always a price to do the right/smart thing, but it doesn't have to be a huge price. Take one step, one cheap step, and you'll be better off.

[@usfilms8828]

I left college on the first day of classes due to anxiety and I was feeling rly bad about myself similar to this person but then one of my roommates talked to me and shared how they had actually taken a year off for their anxiety and it rly helped me on my path for those next couple months and honestly made me capable of rejoining earlier than I would’ve. Absolutely share that experience! You have no idea who you could be helping by sharing who you are and what you’ve been through

[@sweethope8604]

Picking ripe blackberries from a random bush behind a Tuesday Morning was more thrilling than anything I've done in 5 years. I was surprised because something so simple made me feel so empowered and I felt like "With this, I could get natural food energy to get back into the game (of life) again."

[@SoloJona]

Great episode, really needed. Yesterday I shut down all of my social media because it was just making me feel miserable and behind in life.

[@LMP89]

“You don’t have to be who you are not.” is my mantra. It prevents me to want to live life to the fullest and that is actually a good thing. It’s “wanting” to live like that, that makes you anxious and afraid for the future. If you let go, you live life to the fullest and you will not care at all, because just living your life is already the best you can do on every single moment. Don’t count the negative moments, count the positive ones and forget the negative.

[@franacha]

I understand a little bit more about myself now: I will never be ready to approach women until I have found hobbies and a life career that can lead to a good Job. Also years, maybe even decades of life experience are required to approach women, you need to have stories and anecdotes to tell topics to talk about, passions to share, charisma, being capable of holding long stimulating conversations, etc, etc, etc. Also sexual and/or romantic experience is necessary if you're in your late 20s like me. Because the older you get the more wrong it becomes to not have any romantic experience at all. (It's ok to not know how to kiss at age 14, but not at 29) And on top of all that social anxiety and an inferiority complex. Which are also things I need to get rid of if I ever intend to be attractive to women. But that process will take so long that when I have figured all of those things out it will already be too late to start dating. Because finding a partner that really connects to oneself takes decades of trial and error. In the best case scenario, I would find a gf at the age of 70. I can't stop thinking "better luck in my next life, this is already done for" I hate my mind. And it hates me back of curse.

[@franacha]

@@Dimitris_Half You don't know what whining is. Go read a dictionary

[@loliwelch9151]

Hey! How are you doing now?

[@franacha]

@@loliwelch9151 I have only begin to make progress this year. I still have so much to go, and I feel too old already. They say to start making progress makes it harder in the beginning. But it feels like just too much. Anxiety and fear are often overwhelming.

[@bigmanontheinternet3824]

I've delt with a lot of over-thinking and over-analyzing in the past. I genuinely feel like although you're struggling you may have a lot of pre-conceived notions of how things in your life are 'going to work' or how they 'should work' that are not necessarily true and paralyze you. But obviously IDK. I'm not a therapist. What you're going through sounds very similar to what happened to me. I'm glad to see you're still working on it! but if you're not in therapy already, that helped me a lot!

[@BlinkPls]

just wanted to thank the editor for not including the cringy intro music for this video. it gave really artifical vibes and doesn't work well with Dr. K's brand. this is much better!

[@DaDualityofMan]

I know from personal experience that sometimes you spend so much time "thinking", that you end up not actually "doing", it's called "analysis paralysis", my archnemesis.

[@pinoniks]

This is it, I feel blessed that I found you😢 This is so true, I didn't understand this concept of "life is suffering" for so long, I was completely against it and now I see how immature I have been. Thank you so much, you gave me wisest knowladge🙏

[@bapbirb]

I feel like Ive lived my life with no boundries and no limitations, but that doesnt mean I lived however I wanted to. I lived like a stray dog. Free to do whatever I can in my own space, but trapped in repeating the same cycle over and over again just fulfilling my very basic needs such as eating,sleeping,shtting etc. but unable to do anything beyond that. Thats what happens when depression and anxiety consumes you. You do the very basic things but you can't do anything above that. Like you dont deserve to do anything more. And once you're aware of that, it kills you knowing that you didn't want to live this way.. but was almost forced to.

[@banksofchaos93]

Holy shit. that was a powerful image. Are you a writer? I hope you're a writer.

[@mofire5674]

Everyone saying Dr.Ks timing is "perfect" when in reality a lot of us are just in similar situations that this broad advice applies to.

[@verseeidana]

That bit about accepting life comes with suffering, we forget all the stories on IG of ppl living their best lives that if they truly have it like that had to go thru a lot of suffering to get there. Kanye West for ex. How big he is but ppl forget the "Five beats a day for 3 summers" line is truth. His first single "Through The Wire" was he actually got into a full on car crash where he almost DIED. But all we see is him tripping over Kim and their kids.

[@AY-wb8nx]

Thank you, Dr. K. Of all your videos, this one resonated with me the most. I always feel shame in telling people what I've been up to, because it feels very behind compared to my peers. I've even been avoiding certain people in my life because of this. But life is a totality and shit happens. You're great. Thank you.

[@MrTomas7777]

On the subject of pain/pleasure/totality, Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa wrote on one of his poems, "Quem quer passar além do Bojador / Tem que passar além da dor.", it roughly translates to "Who wants to pass beyond Bojador / Must also pass beyond pain.". It's clearly a reference to historical events, but another way I interpret it is that pain is a necessary evil in order to accomplish a great feat, whatever that "feat" may be. Essentially the same idea that was mentioned in the video about pain and pleasure always coming in pairs.

[@mudits.6533]

This is so true! You gotta accept the both the pain & pleasure are part of the totality of life. Wise words my friend Dr.K 🙏✨️

[@aarcadee]

This feels like the most relevant video I've ever seen. This talk was an especially helpful one.

[@nbonasoro]

While I otherwise enjoyed the video, I just wanted to point out how said your statement is, " The person who trusts others gets taken advantage of, until they learn." It took me so long to learn and I feel like a part of me was ripped out because I loved how generous I was but it was killing me.

[@JohnSmith-ui9yu]

26:43 The Chant Personal notes: There is no "yet" and there is no "there", there is only now.

[@tasenova2717]

I hope whoever needs this finds this. I think everytime I get on my high horse about what I want to do in life I instantly feel a sudden urge to knock myself back down again by watching tasteless things, procrastinate and drugs. I want to say this is because I have a buildup of insecurity and convinced myself the habit when things get too tough, go back. I really don't know if anyone else can say the same. But I tend to just not get on that high horse anymore. and I just say. "I feel like doing this because I just like it" it lowers the stakes and I don't scare myself out of it, If you downplay what you're doing then that defeats the "big factor" or the "impossible dream" and I say that as Not sizing yourself too big and not sizing the dream up too big either. you're a human being, and what you want is perfectly fine, and it's not outside your limits, and you dont need to be anyone else

[@globe00]

The feeling of not being good enough I have when I'm not getting the best results possible is so painful. I often fear failure so much it paralyzes me and I can't prepare myself well, I procrastinate, as a result I perform badly and the circle closes.

[@asma-mushtaq]

Most of your explanation resonates so strongly with what some Muslim scholars speak of. Perennial thought and human experience are great insight into the project of life. Thank you for your work.

[@iyxon]

Any reccs for Muslim scholars you find similar to these discussions? 🙂

[@connorholmes8786]

22:10 the person who’s actually ready

[@djszal]

"The 15 minutes is a 'C'. We can't have a 'C'". Damn bro, I felt that.

[@Shynghys98]

Seems like i always think not right, because of my past, my consciousness has been deformed, all these videos of Dr.K really helping me think, that its okay to be this way, and by making small steps o can get to being happy, thank you Dr.K.

[@firebinder18880]

Omg... I've been withholding so much of my plans because I've been waiting to feel "ready". I watched this video out of curiosity and it turns out to be the very video that I needed xD

[@AlitaMee]

Amazing episode!!! Seriously how Doctor gets the nerve of us and just solves our issues. Bring a Sanatani , We don't only live once did hit hard. While it seems very stupid from outside to think whether we have one life or more or we go to heaven or not is such a thing to which we all look from a distance. We never really absorb it but its still there. Its just below the surface and makes us take certain decision. For a comman person like you and me, we feel very stuck because we want to achieve in one life time whixh people have achieve over generations. There are many of my friends who are first generation graduates , first generation, first hand car owners in their 20-30s , first generation middle income , first generation independent house owners. They reached here because their parents did the hard labor of office job and their grandparents did the hard labor in the fields . We forgot "insufficient actions" , doing our part counts .

[@internetperson991]

These videos have more value than 99% of all the psych stuff out there. Dr. K is just a godsend for mental health in the gaming community. GG!

[@hydrangeadragon]

I think the thing with readiness is when we used to live in tribes, we would have much more guidance and training at hand from our elders and they would let us know when we're ready for something because they had already done it before. Young people are fumbling in the dark all lost and depressed looking for approval and permission in vain because their elders have abandoned them and won't or can't help them, or society is so anti social and anti young people

[@zensoundsarah9209]

I'm a 29 year old woman and left College over 5 years ago. I have some residual CPTSD from that experience. Went to College right out of HS... but the catch is I already had a lot of mental health issues and trauma from childhood and during HS that never got resolved. To this day I'm barely doing the healing necessary and reflecting I felt I needed a decade ago. I don't even feel any shame or anything about not having a degree, it hurts financially, yes. However, I guess I wasn't meant to take that path and life is just beating the crap out of me lol

[@SadToffee]

Sounds about right.

[@Vivivofi]

it does, doesn’t it?

[@VimDoozy]

I've been suffering excessively for so long that I feel like I simply cannot bear to take on certain "needful challenges" because I know that they will lead to more suffering on top of what I already endure, no matter how short-lived the additional suffering may be. I am depleted. I am so avoidant that I must be forced by others or by necessity to act. I'm not trying to become ready to "live life to the fullest". That's too ambiguous. Rather, I want to feel prepared and capable of handling additional suffering in the pursuit of something worthwhile-and most of all, to be truly willing to encounter more unpleasantness. I want to believe that I can actually reach a better place, and that pursuing such a place should feel worth the accompanying effort and suffering.

[@GrampaPiggie]

This channel along with Cinema Therapy has given me insight into myself that I didn't know I needed.

[@saranghaedosh]

Cinema Therapy is one of the best channels to emerge on this platform. I love it so much.

[@goldenlizard92]

Your description of how YOLO is used actually reminds me of phrase "nothing is true, everything is permitted" (which, by the way, was not made up by Assassin's Creed, but the leader of the _Hashashin_ [the major inspiration for the game]). The first game itself does a pretty good job giving the phrase a unique meaning and context (whether this meaning matches its original meaning is, of course, likely lost to history) while demonstrating how it can easily be misinterpreted. The issue of misinterpretation, in particular, is dealt with through the player character Altair, who, in the beginning of the game, treats it as an excuse to act as a renegade within the organization, ultimately leading to him being punished by being forced to work his way back into the Assassin's good graces. As the game goes on, and the phrase is brought up and referenced a few more times, its real meaning starts to become evident. In essence, the phrase is shown not to be a justification for one's actions, but a display of the realization that, ultimately, no one can perfectly distinguish truth from fiction (thus, 'nothing is true'), and that one's path in life (for better or worse) is not bound by religious degrees or beliefs ('everything is permitted'). The idea, as far as I understand it, is that there is no perfect universal truth which solves everything and satisfies everyone, and, as a result, one's actions are not bound by some cosmic moral authority, but by one's convictions alone.

[@connorholmes8786]

Spiritual Scripture / Sutras ~ 26:00

[@vicentecharlinescudero3831]

The mantra that i find for myself is: "to go step by step and i know for sure that im gonna get somewhere and im gonna beat whatever im fighting against eventually.

[@krystalizedmagic4894]

I adore this mantra! ❤️

[@iAmFae.]

This hit a little to close to home... Thank you Dr. K and the one sharing their story.

[@Tindre]

I can't live life to the fullest because every time I get an energy boost I get smacked with something really harsh, and the net result is minus.

[@LeeChiv02]

This channel is an absolute blessing and i hope Dr K knows this , thanks

[@stendaalcartography3436]

28:40, the part where he says pain and pleasure and intertwined, and that you can't have one without the other, is scientifically true. Anna Lembke has good works on the topic.

[@whoisgliese]

"You've fallen behind and you want to do things that will make you live your life to the fullest but you feel like you're not ready" Readiness is the avoidance of pain on it's essence. You want to be sure you won't experience pain, the guarantee that everything will be perfect. So like just don't prepare. Like life at it's fullest isn't avoiding pain totally, life to the fullest is both pain and pleasure (accept both. Shooting only for pleasure? That's not a full life, that's half a life). There's no there and no yet about hapiness, all that exists is all that is. Be here, do the thing, that's life. It's simple, it's hard but it's simple. Don't try to maximize the fullness of every day, but live every day to it's fullest.

[@evaalwora1533]

Easily my favorite video. Love you Dr. K. 💙

[@spankylmao3762]

Their story really broke my heart in two. 😢 I really hope their situation gets better.

[@Auramus]

This one was incredibly helpful. It all adds more power to the conclusion that Learning (probably) is the greatest thing we can do.

[@Show_Love_Serina]

OP described EXACTLY what I experienced out of highschool. 20+ years later I'm still healing. But this content has been a game changer! Pun intended XD

[@culubo]

wow im early--i think this video is gonna be helpful for me^^

[@MariJadeWrites]

Found your channel today, watched the video on passion and now excited to dive into this one fully as well. Love your energy and videos already, thank you for making them :)

[@WatchClock99]

"It's because you want to live life to the fullest that you can't do anything, because the only thing that you are willing to do is when you are living life to the fullest."

[@fenixphucks3331]

Is it not possible to strive for things like success and money but still find happiness ? Living life to the fullest while obsessing on the ideal life? It feels like letting go of the goal to have the ideal life would only lead to further sadness since my ideal life includes having money and success

[@lenaslife]

I adore your videos and agree with all you have said! I hope I can just tack on with an additional, non-contradictory opinion. I think one aspect not touched on in this specific video is how one can go to the other extreme and get lost in working for the sake of working... and not being in touch with WHY they're putting in the work. And not making a conscious decision about if those costs are right for them. For example, I choose not to go to the gym and instead enjoy more casual forms of exercise, like virtual reality games and going for walks. Does this mean I will be at peak fitness? No, probably not, but the tradeoff for the peace and fun I get in return are worth it for me. Maybe the OP also needs to take stock of which life pursuits actually matter to them, rather than assuming that going to the gym is just something they're supposed to do. If any of this was already mentioned - I apologize 🙈 Thanks Dr. K!!!!! :)

[@aloshonikplays4907]

Did he just solve my fomo in 30 minutes?

[@iragladouchuk7014]

Thank god for this man

[@socku5850]

I feeling like going to the gym is a waste of my time and money. So, instead I just go outside and walking for a few hours. Especially, in the morning around 6:30 - 7:00am. I didn't have motivation to do. I keep saying tomorrow, tomorrow. I will do it. Then , the day already over then I feeling regret from it.

[@starstenaal527]

Idk why but the video "Should I Die" from Vsauce completely got me rid of my fear of death. I'm completely neutral towards death now. It didn't immediately solve the problem, but after watching it I did some thinking for a while which helped me.

[@baeslifestylewellness5449]

That was a great watch!

[@GudziGudzi]

Right when i needed it the most, thank you so much

[@zeromech1450]

Even if i knew what i wanted to do with my life. I cant make enough money to get out of paycheck to paycheck. How am i supposed to go out and live my life if i spend all of my time trying to make enough money to pay for the roof over my head and the food in my fridge. Being behind is an understatement. I have depression and i was a gamer and i saw your video about how it affects the brain and what you described is my brother and i perfectly. Even when i tldhit everything down and sit in silence and try to find my passion its ambiguous. Every passion i find i am not interested in again after a month or two. I have no passion that i can find im stuck living paycheck to paycheck and thats with me and my wife both working full time. So now im not only behind but i have no way to move forward. Idk what to do.