Managing Emotional Flashbacks Using Pete Walker's 13 Steps

PDF of Pete Walker's 13 Steps (From His Website): pete-walker.com/13StepsManageF...

[@amandawitman]

Also, in case it's helpful to anyone else, I reworked the 13 points as "things to say to myself during a flashback" (a little more practical/concise than Pete's list, easier for my inner child to access when I'm activated): 1. I am having a flashback. It will pass. 2. I feel afraid, but I am not in danger. I am safe now, here in the present. I am an adult, so I can keep myself safe. Remind me, how do I know I am an adult? 3. I am free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior. I need and have a right to boundaries. I can turn anger into self-protection. What does that look like right now? 4. I love my inner child unconditionally. I can comfort and protect myself when I feel scared. What do comfort and protection feel like? 5. I can imagine a safer future. When this flashback passes, I will feel safer. How soon can I see that happening? What will that be like? 6. I am in an adult body. I have allies, skills and resources to protect me that I never had as a child. What are some adult resources that could help me right now? 7. I can ease back into my body. I can slow down, gently relax, unwind, breathe deeply and slowly. I can feel the fear in my body without reacting to it. Fear is just energy in my body that cannot hurt me if I don’t engage with it. What does it feel like to not engage with fear? 8. I will not drasticize or catastrophize. I do not need to exaggerate danger or control the uncontrollable. I can replace negative thinking with a reminder of my qualities and accomplishments. What are the facts about the situation and about me? 9. I can grieve by releasing old feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment, and validating and soothing past feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I can have self-compassion and allow my feelings to be and evolve. What am I feeling right now? 10. I have cultivated safe relationships and I can seek support from them. Feeling shame doesn’t mean I am shameful. What does it feel like when I am affirmed by a secure friend? Would it help to reach out to them right now? 11. I can practice preventive maintenance by avoiding unsafe people, places, activities and mental processes to forestall triggering experiences. This is how I keep myself safe. Are there any boundaries or actions that would be helpful to prevent this from happening again? 12. I am grateful for my self-awareness. Flashbacks are opportunities to discover, validate, and heal my wounds. What am I flashing back to? What can I learn from this opportunity? 13. I have patience with this process as I move through these steps. I am returning to a calm, un-adrenalized state of ease and a strong sense of connection with the present.

[@amandawitman]

And if I've missed the point, feel free to say something, anyone. For me, I think a tool that I can use directly in dialogue with myself will be extremely helpful, especially the questions that remind me of the things that bring me back to my adult, present, safe, resourced self.

[@tracyp6849]

This is amazing. Thank you so much.

[@brennanleyen]

Wonderful, thank you!

[@vivvy_0]

the questions freak me out, make me go blank

[@userone7057]

Thank you!

[@isaacstamper7798]

Your channel is a lifesaver. Your energy is intoxicating!!

[@jacobpeterson6251]

So much help in her work. #ENFP

[@FreedomForever116]

My daughter bought each of us a copy of Pete Walkers book, I got to maybe Chapter 2. I think it is the chapter about being treated w/ contempt, unbeknownst to me I had an emotional flashback, something that occurred w/ my mother decades ago. I was a young adult at the time, not a child but realized I & my siblings have been treated with contempt by our mother our whole lives. It was through reading this I was able to label and understand for the first time she was contemptuous of us & still is. The realization that I was experiencing contempt from my own mother sent me reeling. I knew she was mean, cruel & self-absorbed... but never recognized contempt. What had we ever done to deserve that!? I put the book away, I couldn't look at it for months. I finally opened it again but just couldn't. In a fit of rage & pain I finally threw the book in the bag for the secondhand store thinking I am sick of being the only one seeking help & understanding, let the other dysfunctional ones in the family read this damn book... I regret it, I will now have to purchase of another copy for myself. But I did learn what an emotional flashback was, now I know.

[@SpectrumOfChange]

That's amazing that naming contempt, specifically, was so useful. Even if it also totally SUCKED. Which, I'm sorry for that part. Sucky parents suck. :I

[@Ikr2025]

I experienced a lot of contempt growing up from my father and brother. My mother was mostly indifferent and emotionally absent. She gave just enough attention to think of herself as a good mother. My father has died and I rarely see my brother but find it difficult when I do. I see my mother more frequently but unfortunately as I get older the damn flashbacks are getting worse not better, and for some reason I find it difficult to make plans to see her. I think because she was so absent when I was young, now she’s old and does actually want to see me and my family I feel resentful. I can’t bring myself to be anything but nice as ‘technically on paper’ she was and is nice. But I always felt she had an emotional wall up. Anyway I can empathise with you finding the book hard to read.

[@jennw6809]

@@Ikr2025 She might be passive aggressive -- if she's only nice "technically on paper." My contemptuous mother was the queen of it! I wish it was more well known, symptoms often emerge and worsen as we age. Therapy failed me HARD, too. I wish I'd spent every dime on ketamine treatments instead -- which I'm receiving now.

[@bunsw2070]

I read it years ago. It had a huge impact on me at the time but it's way too long and needed an editor or co-writer. He's less concise than me, which is really saying something. I really needed therapy, and trying to be rational, went to a neurofeedback therapist. That had no lasting effect so the next therapist was into emotionally relating. He had many excellent quality's but I realized after a while he was codependent. The next one was straight out of school and a total dud. Then the next one was off the scale good. You're not supposed to ask about anything about the therapist because it is a boundary violation but I asked if she had always been like that or gotten it together somehow through something she'd done. She said she used to be totally exasperated all the time feeling unappreciated by her children and husband. But she got therapy by the husband and wife team that developed CIMBS therapy when they'd lived in Seattle. Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems is what it stands for. They have a book out now that is remarkable. It's like 1000 years into the future more advanced than Walker's book. Anyone here can read it and chim in what they think. Back to this therapist. She wasn't licensed in CIMBS but integrated it with other things including EMDR. For anyone here suffering from flashbacks, you need therapy. Forget about the financial cost. When I started therapy I was so unaware of the amount of pain I was in that I only started out of desperation. I can hardly believe I was unaware. Something would trigger a shame spiral and I would spin down in that for days before slowly leveling out over maybe a week. I didn't realize that I was living my entire life girding myself for that next tsunami of pain. Strangely, my life isn't that much better now that I'm better. You'd think that if that pain and all the associated issues was removed than you'd be 100 times better but I'm not. I procrastinate and people generally like me even less and I'm still alone and can't manage interpersonal relating but all in all I like myself and my life.

[@bunsw2070]

This therapist is the only person i ever met where i felt truly loved but without any hidden expectations. I paid and in turn she'd be present and totally loving and accepting me as I was. That's what your looking for. The therapeutic modalities are secondary. You'll heal from being in connection with a loving person free of coercion. That's what we've never known. Most people are incompetent and it's even worse with therapists. It's a miracle that you can find any good ones at all. I don't have time to explain but the therapist can sit there and interpret what you explain to them (most therapists) or they can love you and work with you using what they've been taught to move your healing forward. It's an organic relational thing that cannot be made into a formula and that cannot be controlled. This is going to get far out but... she lived in a different city than me and we did sessions via Zoom. I'll have to comment later to flush these concepts out but in short, I'd experience a sharp pang of pain on the surface of my heart. We'd only had a few sessions so I didn't trust her yet. But I'd feel a pang of pain somewhere on my heart and she'd respond instantly. She could feel across the continent what I had experienced in my body. She could describe what I'd felt and where. I was kind of amazed that that was possible. More later.

[@v.o.e7051]

Thank you for the advice, the book is really an eye-opener. I'm at about 40%, but I already had a lot of discoveries. I think the most important sentence for me so far was: "Drasticizing and catastrophizing are critic processes that lead the child to constantly rehearse fearful scenarios in a vain attempt to prepare himself for the worst." I did this my whole life... so do my parents so no suprises there...

[@ewetoob100]

I'm forever grateful to Reddit for making me aware of Pete Walker's book, and I put a shortcut on my phone screen to the emotional flashback list and some other key reminders so that I can open it easily when I need to. I try to make it so easy for myself to access it so I don't forget while I'm being hijacked by a flashback. It's a lifesaver.

[@monticae]

Wow you described it so well. “Almost like you’re going to die unless you sort this problem out now… so you feel as if your partner is about to abandon you ….you feel like you’re getting smothered and are forced to commit to something you’re not ready for… when your flashing back emotionally to a Time in your childhood when you did not have power or control, or the resources to get yourself out of the problem that you’re facing and you are reacting in that current environment as though you were that powerless child, it is time to get yourself out of that flashback” that is groundbreaking for me thank you so much!!

[@user-sy8kj1ox9k]

Heidi, I have listened to many of your posts. YOU HAVE TRULY FOUND YOUR GIFT. Thank you so much. You are making a big difference in my life.

[@neelapatel1081]

Heidi Priebe and Pete Walker all in one video.... yay! 2 of my top light workers who have shone the light on a very dark childhood and clearly shown me the way foward. Thank you!

[@thequietinside3201]

These steps are by far the best help I've found to get me through an emotional flashback. And I think that's because it's not something generic to help you "calm down." It's actually directly addressing the problem. Most therapists don't even understand the root of what's going on and how to help a client through it. Thank goodness for Pete Walker.

[@frappalina]

Watching the first minutes of this video sent me directly to an emotional flashback. Talking about cptsd usually does that to me. I try to avoid the topic completely and to rationalize what happened to me (the verbal, emotional and physical abuse i went through for 20 years, that for many years i thought was normal). I am in therapy which helps me immensely but every time I am just trying to rationalize and understand. I'm trying to avoid the triggers. If someone shows even the slightest anger at me i get teary-eyed (if they are right) or very angry (if i feel they are wrong). I grew up with the knowledge that anger is dangerous. When my father would get angry (and he would very often) he would hit us or threaten us. He was very unpredictable and often drunk. It was incredibly important not to make him angry... but he would get angry for any tiny mistake. Sometimes he would create the mistakes in order to be able to lash out. They were scary years. I saw things i should not have seen, i lived through things i should not have experienced. I survived but i carry this enormous baggage that tainted every aspect of my life. I know in my mind that i am worthy of love and respect but somehow I can't feel it. I always felt that i am too damaged to be able to conduct a healthy relationship so i had relationships only with other broken people (addicts, people with severe mental illness, people who didn't yet figure out their sexual orientation) that i end up try to fix and then fail and leave them, or with extremely avoidant people (i felt that i didn't deserve them and they were doing me a favor in being with me, so i stayed way too long past the expiration date). Now at 41 after 2 years in therapy i am for the first time in a healthy relationship with a secure person and this makes all the difference. I'm healing but healing is not as linear and easy as i imagined. It will take years. I don't know if my baggage will taint this relationship but for once, i am not incredibly afraid and have the instinct to run away. I know that i have a beautiful heart inside of all this and that i am donating it to him, and i know that i am doing my best with the instruments i have right now. I know that there was a damage but it is not my fault. I am an ok Person... I am doing my absolute best... And i deserve this kind of secure love... And he is not here to save me... I can live without him... I am healing i am working on me and i am navigating this unknown sensation that is to feel safe with someone

[@triloization]

I have the same triggers and for the same reasons, only that my mother was unpredictable. It is still a problem and it is soo embarrassing. I hope I can work through like you did. I am so happy for you and it gives me hope for myself.

[@Polina-hn7hu]

Remember God doesnt make junk. U wudnt want to change anything in nature as its so beautiful and perfect, so theres nothing to be changed in u as u are created by nature and u are nature. Yet u had to develop certain adoptations to the environment where ur true nature was stifled. All u need is to come back to the truest vetsion of u..the version that existed before adaptations took place. U are now self belong and can release those adaptations as their functions are no longer needed. Just because your self worth wasnt reflected to u via the mirror neurons by incapacity of ur caregivers doesnt mean u dont have it. It means just that..they had no capacity to reflect it. But we all have it. Coz we r complete and beautiful as every little plant or creature in nature.

[@mequable]

This video needs "Cptsd" in the title for easier search. Thanks to it (thank you!) I'm currently reading the book and it's really great, beautifully written and with a lot of compassion. And filled with resources too. Amazing read, marvelling at the fact that someone wrote such a comprehensive piece of work. One thing I wanted to mention is that Cptsd is a severe condition from acute childhood trauma, and the book is naturally oriented towards those who have had a really bad childhood, most often including bad parenting. At the same time, many of us with milder childhood trauma still benefit from the book, because the system and the flashbacks are the same in nature, just milder in one way or another. However, I kind of feel guilty for reading the book, I must admit. My childhood was mostly "good enough parenting", although I lost my father at six and my mother probably got into years long depression and never had a relationship after that. (Suspecting "something" happened before that death too, tho I have very few memories.) But compared to some of the people mentioned in the book, I feel like my trauma is insignificant or, sort of kind of I shouldn't even read about more severe cases because they are so much more serious compared to my ordinary freeze responses to relating to others for example. Just wanted to share that.

[@katydid594]

Step 2 & 3 are tricky if you're living with an abusive person, and in your childhood home.

[@briannawaldorf8485]

Generally yes healing doesn’t begin until you escape. 🤞 good luck to everyone still stuck w their abusers

[@SalemAAlAli]

Very difficult

[@healingonalllevels2217]

Yes I suppose all things, even ideas, have bias. In the case of C-PTSD it requires a foundation of either "adulthood" or "a 'good enough' long term habitual healing space".

[@gordo6908]

13:48 she already includes a caveat

[@katydid594]

​@gordo6908 Thanks, but that caveat didn't apply to me then. I finally got away and am on the healing journey.

[@amandawitman]

This ad worked. I bought the book. Thank you, Heidi AND Pete for this incredibly helpful resource.

[@Taquinqua]

This video is so helpful for us (and convinced us to buy the book!). I can’t overstate how helpful you and Pete have been to our well-being and healing journey. Thank you so so much ❤️

[@robbind1068]

Thank you so much for this Heidi! As much as I appreciate these super helpful steps, I appreciate, even more, that you share your personal experience with us. It reminds me that I'm not alone. Love your channel. ❤

[@MostlyCloudy]

I've been letting my emotional flashbacks that happen as a result of a situation I find myself in, inform where my boundaries (where I used to have NONE) should be. My (previous) absolute lack of boundaries has been the biggest issue and main reason for re-traumatizing myself.

[@julianrowlands]

I've just been reading Pete Walker's book and I've found your video really valuable, with your insights, personal experiences and explanations augmenting and illustrating the text in the book and suggesting further reading. thank you!

[@mariagoodey1153]

Thank you Heidi, I am getting this, l have fearful/avoidant, I have really found your content helping me, at 65 I think I am finding a better life. 😊😊

[@chocolate3407]

I have this book and it is one of the best I read for emotional health and healing work. The 13 steps are so good helping me out of the flashback.

[@Enfpmom]

Because of you I went through always being in a relationship to not wanting one and working on myself God bless u

[@kimlaura8663]

It took me several weeks of searching you tube til I found 🤕you thank you. I bought the book. So many parts of my 59 years have been plagued with crying and holding back tears that I couldn’t understand completely because I am an adult experiencing this childlike whirlwind of complete unregulated emotions. My GOD I hope I can experience joy like others do.

[@susie5254]

The validation I felt while listening put me in a "place" where I was able to believe telling myself I'm in an emotional flashback can rescue me from its grasp.

[@give_peas_a_chance]

I have had Pete Walker's book for about 15 years now- first recommended to me by Richard Grannon. The first time I read it I had a big turning point, when I realised that my trauma is not me, I am not my trauma. Sounds obvious, but for me that simple realisation was life -changing. I keep thinking, this healing is gonna takes years ,well it's already taken 15 years. Maybe it's time to read it again, I will get more out of it this time. Thanks to your videos I've progressed so much in the last few months, so thank you for all you do, you've helped me so much.

[@emocean582]

Thank you. Your transparency, especially as an ENFP, has helped me so much. At 50 I recently graduated from USM from the Social & Behavioral Science program. I cannot get over how you communicate so congruently and engaging on each subject. It seems you may be pursuing a therapist degree and you are going to be fantastic!

[@dkelly6492]

Heidi is a natural at this, definitely should be a therapist!

[@Cheshireagusta]

Yeah Walker’s STOP thing? Nope. I’ve been saying STOP to my inner bits for so long it’s a habit I am discarding not using for healing. I’m seeing parts of me I haven’t connected to in years AND WE ARE HAVING A BLAST. Welcome back inner children. Thanks for sticking around even under constant rejection for so many years.

[@keithpurtell1213]

Pete Walker's 13 steps have become famous for good reason, and more people are discovering their healing, thanks to folks like Heidi Priebe!

[@Juicewrld5432]

That book is awesome

[@yiravarga]

When our own body is the source of distress, we can’t walk away from that. Locking an apartment door to keep someone away has no weight or meaning. Feeling the need for people to receive and accept your condition, and help you, is a different kind of emotional flashback, I haven’t seen or heard of anything helpful on this yet. C-PTSD is extremely hard and dense, its hold and symptoms are very very not obvious.

[@DaveE99]

This def gave me some hope. The deconstructing eternities. Also it reminded me a bit about how the hippocampus after repeated experiences along with amygdala can converge on a sort of orientation towards things in a moment as a result of being triggered. The idea that it became a sort of vision nervous orientation attitude etc assumptions all baked into it.

[@healingonalllevels2217]

I applause your strength and bravery to go through grief constantly. It didn't even click in my mind that that's a thing - and that I may even experience this sometimes - until you said this. Will have to reflect on this more. Thank you.

[@IndigoFire9]

Thank you… finally understanding what is happening to me… it takes me hours or days to get back to normal… I can’t think at all. Totally fuzzed out and highly frozen!

[@grindsaur]

I have these steps on a text note in my phone - they're helpful.

[@userone7057]

Heidi, I'm feeling quite refreshed at the moment. Lately, it's been difficult for me to regulate minor flashbacks that I barely even recognize. The other day, something set me off without my realizing it when I saw the words 'cruel' and 'boundaries', yet my body didn't react in any way. They slip away without me noticing them.

[@JacobTurnerPhD]

I’ve watched 20 of your videos in the past 4 days and really want to thank you for what youre doing. You have been so helpful.

[@KaylaJo96]

Oh my gosh. I've been having emotional flashbacks and had no idea that's what they were! Thank you so much for describing them- knowing this is like I just bought a new coat to warm me up when it gets cold on my healing journey.

[@jadejago7664]

I've listened to it twice. Time for me to buy a paper copy. :)

[@vidz4tripping]

yo petes book is essential

[@AmyClarkesinger]

Wonderful explanations for each steps!

[@user-kq4hg6jn1e]

This has been extremely cathartic for me. I was a mess! I am getting well.

[@mariadrissi7614]

Thank you Heidi, finding your chanel is one of the things I'm most grateful for this whole year!

[@annal2740]

'If I still got stoned..' Love you for that.

[@iamnoveee]

Thank you Heidi, so helpful and inspirative.... I happen to be having it for the last few days.

[@Whatsinaname381]

needed this today! Thank you for continuing to be you.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

Heidi, you are a godsend! I just found your channel today and have binge watched since! I've learned so much that I had no idea about! I am beating myself up emotionally thinking I should've known all this by now at 57 years old!!! You are answering questions I even didn't even have! I didn't know others so and think the same way I do! I've always felt broken and sick but now I have a path forward so some kind of healing! I doubt that I'll ever get it or heal but I see now that's a thing we do, so now I can tell myself not to worry and not be so hard on myself! I could go on and on on how much I've learned a bit of today but just have to say thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart! And wow, you are so clear and easily understood! You may have just saved my life!

[@alerdman2002]

I have emotional flashbacks and some of them are very pleasant I just had one in the store seeing a little baby doll with the milk that disappears in the bottle as you try to play feed the doll and I flash back to my front yard and playing dolls with my neighbor and how fun it was..

[@joannabrites9857]

I love listening to you. You really get to the meat of the problem, no BS. Keep it up, this is your gift. Thanks for helping me! Scapegoat from NYC.

[@annawolfe2706]

I just read this book and yes indeed it is probably the best self help book ever written. Plus I am listening to Heidi break it down because I love her clear comprehensible way of speaking and her detailed grasp of complicated topics. Also sometimes I need to read and other times I need to listen. All attachment wounds are traumas. A lifetime of complex repeating traumas leads to many layers of triggers. These steps are very useful.

[@Ashley--L]

I've just watched this video again after a minor confrontation that I realized felt very stressful in my body and I've uncovered so much! I am looking forward to reading the book, but what you added about noticing stuff visual/auditory... so useful!

[@grat2010]

This is sooo good. I have this book but it's great to have this video to refer back to also. Thanks for sharing your experience with these steps. You're a gift to this world.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Thank you, you are a great help with breaking down this information. And also thank you to people here who leave helpful comments.

[@zoeh1964]

It would be so amazing if one day you could interview Peter Walker on your channel. There's only a small handful of interviews with him

[@LadyEh]

Thank you for highlighting this book. I had just bought it and your video popped up. I can't wait to get into it!

[@JahinIinI]

Just paused the video to buy the ptsd book. Thanks!

[@Leanansidhe23]

Me too 😊

[@statesunlocked]

Your channel is excellent. Thanks for sharing all of your work, it's really helpful and has given me a lot of food for thought

[@user-ip9mb4hj3f]

@Heidi I just want to say all your videos have helped so much especially this one. I’ve progressed more rapidly in my healing phase than I’ve ever done in my entire life. I kept being pulled into emotional flashbacks until I realized that I’m an adult now and It cannot hurt me. I stop literally tell myself that. Since then I’ve been less triggered in my relationship. I look forward to more of your videos.

[@hmmcinerney]

Peter Walkers wonderful book that Heidi mentions is free on YT.

[@looli1327]

I second Pete Walker's books! Life changing!

[@Fefe559]

I appreciate this channel so much! thank you for studying this so much and sharing what you know you are helping me presonally so MUCH.

[@BrigidIvory-hq2ys]

I appreciate you and your videos. They have really helped me & gave me better tools. Thank you

[@kimberlysanchez5321]

Thank you Heidi for your channel ! Thank you !!! 😢

[@shovelhead4558]

Thanks easy to follow and use 😊

[@WatsitTooya]

Thanks for taking the time. It was worth your while. I think. Errr...n....ya. Hope. ;)

[@ginagentilini7596]

This video has helped me the most.

[@johnpatterson6448]

Wonderful, as ever

[@monticae]

Thank you so much! ❤

[@amarmrh133]

Thank you so mutch

[@joca9110]

It’s totally legal and legit to brief this book. 1) you are showing your interpretation of the book which add so much value 2) just by adding this resource to your channel add so much value to your work and people who follows you, I mean no everyone links and connects attachment and trauma, not even Pete Walker

[@joca9110]

So thanks for what you are doing!

[@dmuniz62]

I've read this book twice, considering a third time. First time it was very triggering, 2nd time not too bad. This book is like the AA big book, once you read it you cant unread it. It is ingrained in your mind. Love this book.

[@creativerebelution]

Loved your book. Found your channel after. I'm ENFP with CPTSD

[@abbywoolfson584]

Thank you.

[@WatsitTooya]

I was traumatized in regular incriments for extended periods, the kind of things you couldnt handle. Youd need pyshiatric care if you knew. So ne ways. The memories only very recently began seeping in a little at a time and it just dont quit comin. Even houses w the same architectural attributes trigger me. All kinds of stuff thats mindblowingly simple and ordinary like that.

[@kdjourney51]

Well said.

[@MostlyCloudy]

Buying it now

[@hannahbley1274]

This was really helpful, thank you. One note: You are speaking about reminding oneself that one is safe. I think there really needs to be a step before that of distinguishing WHETHER one is safe or not. Is it a flashback or is this actually threatening? Of course often one is safe and its just a flashback, but there are people who even as adults unfortunately ARE NOT always safe in their marriages, homes, workplace etc. And then it really should be handled differently...

[@moccijiminie3688]

I read a review of that book that suggested it could be triggering for people who had a “fight” response to trauma. I’d look up reviews of the book beforehand to check that it won’t be triggering for your specific circumstance

[@bostonmila4672]

That book is the CPTSD bible

[@TheMegaross91]

Being alone tends to trigger my flashbacks since the underlying cause involves heavy amounts of abandonment and isolation. Some of which was self imposed in later life. I'm still trying to work out how to be ok, living alone means triggers are inevitable eventually. You can't go out and see people every night, especially not when most of your friends have kids now.

[@GEOFFAMORTON]

It’s funny. I recently got triggered by a deeply trusted friend. My response to her triggering triggered her own triggers. Everything collapsed to the point where she ghosted me and told me to never contact her again when I reached out and tried to repair the schism. The funny thing is, it was that trust on my part, and a literal thought I had when I could tell she was flaking out on me - “oh god, not you too”. It was such a rug pull because one of the few people in my life I’d ever really let myself trust to that degree was now mirroring one of the biggest trust betrayals I’d ever experienced. It’s been months and it’s still hurting. And now I’m not even sure if it’s my friend I miss anymore or just the place she had in my life. Maybe it’s something of both. Note: I grew up with continual trust betrayals from my mother from childhood. No boundaries. Unstable. Drug abuse. Malicious. Manipulative. So I actually grew up primed and accepting of all that as normal from the people in my life. So, the recent flashback was to an adult event, but that adult event was actually pretty representative of my childhood.

[@refusedone]

I agree that this book should be broader than cptsd, it seems to apply to most dysfunctional conditioning,…great video, thank you

[@dearhorse085]

can't thank you enough

[@markavdb]

Recently happen to put pressure down the left side of my sternum, in between the ribs, right after the start of an emotional flashback. I pressed gently there for about 2 minutes. It surprised me that it seemed to all stop and settle down so fast. Normally it takes me days or weeks to get back to my usual. It may just relate to me and my experience but does anyone else tried this and had similar results?

[@ericm6415]

@Heidi Priebe I experience flashbacks as well… But mine present more like sliding down chain of events… This is typically just when I get into a situation where a similar feeling was imprinted at a similar intensity. That triggers one memory, which will trigger another based on nearly any situational similarity (person, place, phrase… anything)… that memory does the same… so on and so on. Under the worst conditions, this can trigger a LOT of emotions (many of which I still can’t pull apart), and the feeling quickly turns to shame and anger because the overwhelming feelings are too much to filter. (This is also the result of built-up frustration… I know this because these Anger-Slide-Explosions only happen when I’m by myself) My main question is about the book you reference here… Does it cover the type of Flashback-Slide??? I’m 45, have AHDH and pretty sure I’m ASD-1. (Testing in Feb) Recently realized that MOST of my interactions and decisions from 10yr to 30yr were made while I was in trauma response mode. I spent my whole life in North Carolina where the general opinion about ASD and ADHD was, “that ain’t real”… So, yeah… CPTSD fits well.

[@swathi5773]

1. Say to yourself I am having flashback. Past memory can’t hurt you now. Amygdala hijack state, so use prefrontal cortex by naming the feeling. Emotional queue can be unable to focus(visual, auditory field). 2. Remember you are in safety of present and not in fearful situation of childhood. Recognise you are an adult. 3. Free to leave unsafe emotional situation and protest mistreatment. Recognise amygdala hijack. Reorient yourself into 4.

[@Touay.]

Weird how the brain works. Heidi mentioned being a kid with no lock on the door .... and then I am right back there. f&%K. just buying the book.

[@philima]

I love this book and the steps are great. The problem is, how to apply them when you have cptsd because of long term exposure to abuse as an adult ? For example, I still have contact with this individual because of our child. Saying that I'm an adult and safe now feels somewhat like a lie to me sometimes. Because I was an adult when it happened and because I'm still not really safe from post separation abuse because of child arrangements. Is there anyone who knows how to comodify the 13. Steps for such a situation? 😅

[@krasav_chick]

This book was life-changing for me, it's always on hand😊

[@alerdman2002]

Although some flashbacks are very traumatic and scary that cause irregular heart and breathing patterns

[@vtbhoward]

I guess my brain fog and fatigue are getting the best of me, because I am feeling overwhelmed by so many explanations.....

[@kayann100]

Well this is timely

[@savannahnalls2099]

Pete walkers book is online for free.

[@amarmrh133]

Can you please tell me how can i get it

[@amarmrh133]

@@Jenny-io6pv thank you so mutch i appreciate it 💐🤗

[@Jen281]

Does rumination on past events qualify as emotional flashbacks?

[@kayann100]

I think if you don’t have complex PTSD then the Tao of Feeling will be more up your alley.

[@heidipriebe1]

Or if you do! It’s another fantastic book 🖤

[@ignasmaciulis1095]

Hello! This might come across as an ignorant question, but really I am just trying to put all of my trauma resources into one coherent system that would make sense to me and bridge the gaps between all the different people and theories I've come across so far. So the question is: why do you feel the need to differentiate between CPTSD and insecure attachment, between flashbacks, triggers, and "just strong emotional reactions"? As far as I understand, CPTSD is relational trauma, and attachment wounding is also relational trauma, so why not just call it trauma and move on from there? How are these distinctions useful to you? Cheers, Ignas

[@linalindbladh8529]

I get flashbacks but it’s not only childhood it’s a lot from teenage years and up to my thirties. Is that still emotional flashbacks?

[@holistictraveller4217]

Does this book contain techniques and work book to heal from intense childhood traumas..

[@creativerebelution]

In addition in a flashback I think we go into the shadow side of our personality type

[@shaythestudent]

Bookmark: 19:46

[@Toto-kn3tr]

Only when adjusting speed to 0.75 i could listen to this

[@cindyforehand1448]

It is really frustrating to constantly hear cptsd described as derived from childhood only. Not everyone that has cptsd had a dysfunctional childhood.

[@daniellewalker256]

I always end up feeling left out of so much of this stuff because I’m pretty confident that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and I’m also pretty confident that I have C-PTSD but I don’t really think it’s from any traumatic childhood experiences. I may have had some characteristics of fearful avoidant attachment before but most of it is from an adult relationship that was emotionally abusive so it just feels like somehow my issues aren’t valid because no one talks about things that happen in adulthood having that kind of affect on you so how am I supposed to deal with that when all the information out there just talks about dealing with your childhood?

[@sarabravo9130]

because CPTSD stems from unresolved childhood trauma or trauma that occurred in childhood that interrupted brain function. u could look into ptsd or just trauma information in general

[@salishheights2320]

I don't know the answer to this, but I just wanted to validate that, yes, CPTSD can begin this way. Mine actually did begin in childhood, turns out, but I never knew CPTSD existed till I believed it had started from a more recent extended trauma. Your struggle is real and valid. I hope you have found some help and healing to begin the road to healing. Keep looking. ✝️

[@aliuscogitabam]

​@sarabravo9130 cptsd stands for complex post traumatic stress disorder. It's developed from a series of traumatic events whereas ptsd usually stems from a single traumatic event. Both ptsd and cptsd can develop at any point in time. Cptsd often begins in childhood for a lot of people and a lot of resources online refer to childhood ptsd and complex ptsd interchangeable even though that's not entirely accurate as childhood ptsd is not the actual term and could technically refer to both ptsd or cptsd that started in childhood.