Complex PTSD: 10 Realistic Signs Of Healing

Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker: www.pete-walker.com/
Toxic Shame: What It Is & How To Heal From It • Toxic Shame: What It I...
CPTSD: Breaking The Toxic Shame/Procrastination Cycle • CPTSD: Breaking The To...

[@cosmolosys]

You can also get emotional flashbacks when everything in life seems great and when everything seems better than ever before, without anything in particular that happened. I had this happen before. It's because there is finally enough space, safety and mental capacity to deal with certain emotions which we didn't have the capacity for before. I just wanted to put that out there because understanding this helps a lot if you can't find any reason for your feelings. 🖤

[@nicholasburch2122]

Wow that explains a lot of what happened 4 hours ago

[@ritacoutinho717]

Beautiful, thank you for sharing! Looks like a very helpful insight that I’ll take with me and try to observe in myself. 🌸

[@claysiecross4952]

Omg because I’m Like I thought I’m healing but here I am flash backing like ever before

[@cosmolosys]

@@claysiecross4952 You are healing 😉💛

[@VivianGray88]

I really like this. I went to a party some time ago, had a great night out then came back home and had a hideous panic attack. I couldn’t t understand why it had happened. I totally unravelled after that. But now some months later, that panic attack was the best thing to ever happen to me because it led me to face a very important truth about myself. Something that years of introspection had prepared me to finally face up to in a way I could effect real change in myself.

[@aliciamg7117]

6:26 "a healed state does not mean your life is suddenly bursting with deep connection but it does likely mean you no longer have to reach and cling to unhealthy dynamics out of desperation" you summed it up perfectly

[@tiffanyfinley4834]

Huh. Never thought of it like that. That helps.

[@Emily-tb1ud]

“Thank god, another broken person. Let’s go party!” sums up my early to mid 20s 😅

[@Merzui-kg8ds]

And SOOOOOOOOO many of us.

[@Jantonov1]

""Thank God. Another broken person. Let's party!" I laughed out loud to that. Boy do I relate.

[@mm7846]

Summary of the video: 1. 2:30 Realize not faulted, its developmental trauma 2. 4:20 Seek authentic connection 3. 6:40 Recognize trigger and cope in a healthy way 4. 8:40 Healthy assertiveness more than flight 5. 10:10 Healthy trust of others through discernment and both self regulate 6. 12:00 Mistakes with compassion 7. 14:00 Restored faith in existence of kind, competent adults 8. 16:50 Open to vulnerability 9. 17:40 Recognize your recovery is unique 10. 19:40 Life is made of ebbs and flows

[@diverstalent]

Thank you! Sousan

[@Heyu7her3]

I absolutely don't have faith in humanity & don't think many are competent, guess I ain't ever "healing" 😂

[@CrazyCoon100]

⁠I feel that way sometimes too but think about it as a spiral 🌀 like 3 steps forward 2 steps back and eventually you get over the hump and can start moving more linearly ❤

[@philima]

Wow, the "I only trust other people with trauma because they get me and "normal" people make me feel like a freak in comparison" is a huge problem in my life....😢 But still I'm on my healing journey. I'm hopeful it will get better.

[@juan_castellanos19]

“And the biggest kind of surprise in my own healing process was recognizing that actual healing was about reclaiming the person I actually am, and no longer being ashamed to show that person to the world.” That quote (and section of the video) hit me especially hard. Thanks for making and posting this video Heidi ❤❤❤

[@NB-yu4lj]

That book changed my entire outlook…took a ton of pressure off. Made me realize I’m not crazy or just weak.

[@alisayar_]

It took me 5 months to accept that both my parents are narcissists and 9 months to accept that I have CPTSD. I was so hard for me to admit that I was actually abused, even though I was physically abused as well. And I think that if I hadn’t witnessed my parents abuse towards my little brother during these months, I would’ve probably just told myself that i’m exaggerating and gaslight myself. I think that society in a whole just makes it even harder to do so. And even the criteria for diagnosis and the ACE test are pretty invalidating and can make you question yourself

[@PassionateFlower]

Your body knows when it's been abused by someone because you have a feeling of uneasiness around that person that makes you feel unsafe even if everything appears "normal" during your "interaction" with them.

[@w8what575]

I think this is what my son and I are going through now…my family is absolutely horrible to us.,,and we live in a smaller city and have zero connections that we can turn to…

[@stephanieg4950]

Only 9 months? Wow. Took me ..30 plus years!

[@tiffanyfinley4834]

That's for this. It's taking me awhile to come to terms my mom and stepdad are narcs. My son's father is. I can't wrap my mind around my mom being a covert narcissist. Its so hard. I'm almost there I think.

[@Empoweredtarot]

It's been the longest path. Lonnnnggggg. I got my diagnosis in 2019. It's obvious that i had trauma, I wasn't aware of how deeply ingrained these past experiences were in my body though. Its a long path. Lots of grieving, setting standards and therefore boundaries. I'm beyond to where I'd like to be, but I'm a million miles away from where I was. I'm really thankful for your videos! They help a lot. I struggle in all relationships. Communication is getting better. Step by step I'm unwinding! Great video Heidi!!

[@larsstougaard7097]

Thanks for sharing , I have had bad chronic health problems for 20 years and only 10 month ago I realized I got C-PTSD, so much starts to make sense and falls into place, but I'm aware its a long journey ahead for betterment. Glad to know others on this path too.

[@jm7514]

I interpreted in this, the message that we will never be permanently securely attached- but that we can come close enough, and can use this healed place in us and can relate and respond to the world in the best state we can.

[@macypercy9770]

One of the many toxic things we as people with cptsd do is overthinking and all this psychology makes us overthink even when we draw breath thinking "oh god did I do it right?" !!!

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

I stopped caring about tomorrow....

[@JoeyTheShmo]

Truly such a moving channel, both internally and externally. Life has felt like I’m navigating a pitch black room, arms outstretched and bumping into every piece of furniture possible. This channel shines a very focused light on where I’ve bumped into things before, and allows me to see them in order to avoid them again. Life sucks when you “bump into furniture,” this channel teaches you to give yourself grace for bumping into things and for feeling the pain of it. Even when the light is shined on it May we all learn where our furniture lies. Avoid it the best we can in each moment. And feel/accept the pain of a stubbed toe here and there, knowing we’re learning with each step

[@tiffanyfinley4834]

Well said

[@mvbigmagic4048]

That's such a great analogy! Thank you. :) I can extend the metaphor to stop being angry at people that I bumped into the furniture. I just didn't realize that I could turn on the light. And now I can. But yes, we still occasionally stub our toe, even with the lights on. :)

[@tiffanyfinley4834]

I call it swimming in the dark lolll

[@megansleeman7859]

I have a friend who’s currently battling with CPTSD. She has told me a lot about her story and I can’t tell you how many times I have cried for her. I am so angry at the person who abused her for a year and a half. She did not deserve any of that. So she became a friend for a month or two and then things started moving towards more than friends. She has been vulnerable with me quite a bit and told me a lot about her. Which means a whole lot to me. She told me: “I know you’re not my ex.” “You are a good person, and you won’t use all this as a weapon against me” I told her that I would never do that. At first, I didn’t fully understand how horrible this illness is on someone. She’s told me about how her brain works and how much damage her ex has caused to her body and mind. It’s so sad and I’m so angry. She has pulled away from me which now i understand why. Because I have been doing my own research on this and everything makes sense. I have realized it’s not me. She’s just not healed enough for a relationship yet. She told me that herself. I hope I can continue to reach out to her every once in a while letting her know “I am here, and I am not going anywhere. If you need to talk to someone I am here. Right now, as a friend.” Building trust with a person with this takes time. I am not going to force her to respond because I know she will do it on her own time. I am just wanting to show her that I am here for support. We both want a romantic relationship and we know it will take a while for her to heal. But I want to show her what a good relationship is without all the abuse. I know I can give that to her and I hope she can learn to trust me.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

That's very nice of you. I hope you researched C-PTSD enough. It can give you secondary trauma if the person isn't handling their illness (which is a life long healing journey due to how the brain is deeply wired).

[@kyliepine3713]

Thankyou ❤

[@verlyn2000]

You are just amazing. I just wanted you to know that. I cry watching your videos, because now I know there is a name for how I have been feeling since I was 11… CPTSD. It’s not just my weird personality.

[@mindypaine2672]

Thanks, Heidi! All of your videos are incredibly well-planned, well-informed, and beneficial to helping people be more in control of their lives, relieve stress and pain, and be their best self. Hearing you validate our feelings and explain how to move out of negative patterns in invaluable. You're one of the best out there. This thank you and $$ is for all of your videos! So glad you have gone on a journey to understand yourself better and be in a more regulated state so you can enjoy a great life that you're helping all of us work toward.

[@tarocchiintuizioneeintrosp9381]

.

[@paintingthesouthwest]

I'm also going through a reread of Pete Walker's book after reading it a few years ago at the advice of my therapist, and I'm so grateful in reading that and watching this video, to have some of the healing benefits already in my life. It took years to admit to myself that things that happened to me were traumatic. Now I don't shame myself so much for the self-soothing I did to survive. Thank you for being vulnerable about your own journey of healing too!

[@elisabethannwexler4728]

As a survivor of complex childhood developmental trauma who has engaged in different kinds of healing modalities over the years, I can say that your videos are incredibly insightful in both conceptual as well as practical ways. Thank you. The struggles with C-PTSD can often feel overwhelming. Practical guidance, models of how to approach ourselves & lives & most of all feeling compassion for our humanness is greatly needed. I agree that admitting to ourselves when we are facing a difficult time or cycle is really important. Yes, it takes humility to face what we need to face. Bringing even more compassion to ourselves during these times is essential. .

[@larsstougaard7097]

Thank you, I have tried a number of things too, what have benefited you the most , just curious 😊

[@tabithaekeberg6480]

@@larsstougaard7097 The Crappy Childhood Fairy teaches about a writing technique followed by a twenty minute mediation. Using this method has increased my healing by leaps and bounds. She offers a free tutorial on it as you only have to enter your email to receive access. She says the technique is similar to what they use in AA.

[@93parasol]

When it comes to assertiveness the most important thing for me, or the key I needed to have before I could even think about using the key you describe in this video, is that I am even capable to thinking something about someone. I had no idea. When I was younger and someone was mean to me, I didn't think anything. It was completely blank, I truly had nothing to say. It was never only that I was too afraid or to self demeaning to stand up for myself, I had no idea that I could ever think that the person was mean to me to begin with. I didn't know that when someone is mean to me that gives me a feeling (I feel sad or angry) which can lead to a thought (this person was mean to me which is why I'm angry and is is wrong to be mean to me) which can lead to an opinion (I think this person is mean to me/this is a mean person). Only THEN am I able to even comprehend that "standing up for myself" is an option.

[@kevintheoculus2428]

I think your right....The Psychiatrist I went to said she had never seen someone with such extreme trauma's leading to CPTSD. Most people in an extreme stressful situation may crumble. ... To me, it's a common occurance and almost normal. Perhaps my purpose is to be here with adaptive skills ( Emerg nurse / firefighter ) that can help when most ' cant '. I still have to learn self compassion though... I could use some caring emotion from someone.

[@k.upward]

I think the biggest thing I noticed with the last point is that I can actually expend a bit of excess energy during my “good times” in preparation for an upcoming “bad time.” Before I’d be “riding the high” and procrastinating fundamental things that would have helped me weather an upcoming stressful demand. Now I can kind of ebb and flow between them, finding time to enjoy myself during periods of “survival” and finding time to get to work during periods of “thriving”

[@flamingaish]

6:25 11:32 13:17 16:23 17:05 17:57 19:17 21:40 22:52

[@johannagrace7768]

I have read Pete Walker’s book “Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; from surviving to thriving” seventeen times. It is a very comprehensive resource. Each time I have read it, I have gained something different. The journey to healing is long. It helps to refer regularly to Pete Walker’s ‘map’. Thank you for this video Heidi. You are doing great work! 💕

[@neant2046]

The “don’t leave me now” part is something that I will steal for myself, as I needed something like this precisely today, and nothing else worked, but this - did. Thank you real much for sharing ❤

[@lustertone8587]

I needed this today. I’m doing so much work and researching into my CPTSD and this helps immensely in letting me know that I am on the right track. You are one of my favorite Gurus in my life that is helping me to make the changes that I need to become the best version of myself that I can. Without you and others who are giving so much of yourselves to those of us who are struggling it would be a much harder road to travel. Thank you again from the bottom of my soul!

[@laurenparnell2483]

Lol, I like the Heidi as Guru part, she totally is. 😂

[@HaileyB85]

I’m also on my second read of Pete Walker’s book, its been 3-4 years since I first read it. I decided to pick it up again a couple of weeks ago, because you’ve mentioned it so frequently in your videos. Another KZbinr references it a lot too. Through this second reading, I’ve seen how far I’ve come these past few years in my healing. I didn’t realize how much my mindset and behaviors have shifted, but it feels great to have these markers and see that healing is actually possible, and actively occurring little by little. It has also driven home some other points that didn’t really click for me on the first read through. When you said something about originally thinking healing would be just a better place to hide, wow. I’d never been able to articulate that thought, but that’s exactly what I thought healing would be. The way you’re able to phrase things really helps me better understand certain concepts, and I’m so thankful to you for putting these videos out. They’ve been a huge help! Right now I’m really focused on developing meaningful friendships with people who are able to understand trauma and who are actively working to heal. My husband doesn’t have a background of trauma or CPTSD, but he works really hard to understand and be a safe person. I’m very grateful for him. However, I haven’t found anyone yet in terms of friendship. I’ve been putting myself out there more, but its similar to dating in some ways. I’ve met up with a few people, but we just didn’t click, and that’s okay. I’m still hopeful that I’ll find meaningful friendship someday. I’ve also been able to let go of friendships that aren’t good for me, so, progress! Thank you again, for all that you do for this community 😊

[@eldonscott9]

Who’s the other KZbinr that mentions Pete’s book?

[@planetwiggy]

Hello devoted viewers here on Heidi's channel. And thank you Heidi for your incredibly useful articulation here. This channel has been an absolute life-changing road map for me: ---> Toxic Shame ---> Lying ---> moving towards neutrality and authentic self. I am a 55 yr old woman with c-ptsd. But how would I even know about the c-ptsd? My whole life I've had such a rich, 3-dimentional inner social life. I was the 'daydreaming' kid. Oh, and it was rich, magical and so completely fulfilling... Fast forward ---> At my age now, I'm beginning to decipher, Hey, where are the ACTUAL friends and people. Lol. With humor and patience, I am untangling the inner and outer social worlds. I am particularly struck by your mention of 'merging fantasy with reality'. This is mind blowing. If you're ever inspired, I'd love to celebrate here on this channel how the human soul has natural escape-'isms' like dissociation, especially how children have "Imaginary Friends". I think all humans have this brilliant capacity and response to trauma. Some more than others. Any thoughts about celebrating those Imaginary Friends who got us through all the hard times?

[@anahithovhannisyan8954]

The comment about how there's now a river in the desert hit me really hard. I've been opening up to a few people and now have connections I can rely on that care about me as who I am. This is going to be a little tangential kind of story time, but I was at a party and hit my social limit and went to tell my sisters and friends I was heading out and one of my friends checked the time and was like, yup, that tracks. You're actually a little later than usual. Just being seen like that made me want to cry.

[@kuibeiguahua]

My inner child just keeeeeps eating omg Which is a huge step up from binging drugs and alcohol Adult self gotta have to love and compassionate me away from the creamy sauce farfalles 😩 Thx as always Priebe! You were pivotal in my journey

[@phild5034]

I’m on the right track! Wow!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@LiberatingOurselves]

This is really beautiful and what I’m experiencing….. I was seeking out mentors and they would take advantage of me and I also was wanting to be desired.. now I’m supporting myself and looking for women mentors and healing communities so we can contribute to each others healing journeys…

[@stephanieg4950]

Excellent. This feedback is really huge to shifting from drowning in shame to sun bathing in self love.

[@erichaberman3812]

WOW! I keep being blown away by how well you seem to know my issues and be able to articulate them. I've never heard most of these things and I was raised by and have been working with therapists most of my life. A couple hours with you as my therapist on KZbin is more work, of the right kind, then I've been able to do in decades. It's hard to not be mad at them for not being able to guide me the way you are now. I mention these things to my current therapist and he give me blank stares like I'm bring up something never heard of before and worse he was dismissive.

[@patriciavanwinkle3693]

Seems like you need to change therapist. I go to the center for nonviolence for my therapy. When I bring up things she hasn't heard about - she takes notes & I send her the link to what I was talking about. I can truly say that the center for nonviolence & doing my own research has saved my life. I wish you the best on your healing. It is a struggle, but worth it.

[@erichaberman3812]

@@patriciavanwinkle3693 Yes, I do need to do that. I just get so frustrated that it seems like these PHD therapists don't know even the most basics about trauma and healing from trauma. They all want to do talk therapy because I guess they just want to coast through their sessions just saying, "how did you feel about that?" and doing nothing else. Every once in a while, I'll work with someone who just gets lucky and says the right thing that actually helps me think in the right way, but it's purely luck and not even something they really notice until I point it out.

[@patriciavanwinkle3693]

@@erichaberman3812 By saying " I just get so frustrated that it seems like these PHD therapists don't know even the most basics about trauma and healing from trauma. They all want to do talk therapy because I guess they just want to coast through their sessions just saying" That means you are looking for external answers, while the answers are within. However I do find it helpful to have a good therapist. I am lucky to have a GREAT therapist. I do most of my learning through youtube videos like this. There are some Great videos & some will mislead you - you know (deep inside) what you need. The book that Heidi Priebe suggest - Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker (Audiobook) (FREE) kzbin.info/www/bejne/e2Pcep2watGkerujne . Also Prof. Sam Vaknin is good -> www.youtube.com/@samvaknin

[@Window4503]

@@erichaberman3812I imagine that it’s also frustrating that they aren’t doing research in response to finding out they don’t know about these things. I would think that being aware of relevant research would compel them to look into it instead of just keeping things the same. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re coaching your therapist all the time.

[@Frankvilla-worthy]

Wow!,excellent point!!! I have been addicted to shame and I notice my self sabotage is to simple feel the shame.

[@jm7514]

“Everyone makes mistakes “- heard it all my life, just now believe it. Another big one that I recently learned, and that I created is “Everyone has Bad luck Sometimes”. ( I thought I was cursed.). Bad luck from things that could be controlled and also bad luck of things beyond our control. Seeing lucky people trip made me realize that I was wrong and not cursed.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Yes, me too. I was doing what I was told to do, and things kept going wrong. Over and over. LOL! I realized.... it wasn't because I was cursed.... I was just not doing what I really wanted to do. Things are getting better slowly. Very slowly. But that's okay. Because I will never go back.

[@Michelle7.17]

Don’t Leave Me Now. I will use this phrase in those tough times

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

I just asked Heather O'Rourke not to leave me...and karra...and Donna and its helping...

[@brittanyhewittstuffel7154]

Heidi, I have been struggling with something I couldn't put my finger on my entire life. (I thought I was damaged and there was something wrong with me 🙈), and your videos have explained the symptoms of Complex-PTSD/Toxic Shame are the most informative and thorough explanations yet. This is the 3rd video of yours I have watched, and I am looking forward to more in the very near future. I appreciate all the hard work you've put forth to make sure people like me are informed properly. ❤❤❤ Thx, Brit

[@ARainbowAfterDark]

Sometimes I find it challenging to see just how much progress I’ve made over the years This really made me realize how far I’ve come, thank you for all you do

[@alt_abz5958]

As someone who has been actively taking time to heal myself and seek out resources, this video was actually a really good benchmark to externally affirm that I have made more progress than I realized. This helps me trust myself more. Thank you for sharing!

[@thomasbakker1355]

Thank you for sharing your struggles. Thank you for fighting your anxiety and the devastating thoughts and feelings of selfdoubt. Thanx to the people who were able to reach out to you, and set you on this path. Thanx you for this message, as for the many others you sent out so far! As for all you out there, i'm wishing you peace, calm and trust for the path you are on! Pressure makes diamonds

[@Aline7]

Thank you, too

[@johannagrace7768]

@Thomasbakker1355. I do not know you and will never meet you, but I want you to know that your message here has blessed me more than you can ever know. Thank you. I pray that you can see how true it is that ‘the best in life and love and happiness are ahead of you’.

[@saratexas5181]

The way you lay out and frame this subject matter is some of the best teaching I’ve come across (in my life, not just KZbin). Thank you for both seeking out education and telling your story.

[@bobclarke2242]

Heidi, thank you! This 60 year old appreciates your advice. 🙂

[@Slipping_thru_the_Seams]

this is pure gold

[@w8what575]

This realizing how unwanted I’ve been to the people who were supposed to be the ones who love me …is what’s been the hardest thing to get over and move on from…knowing that’s human nature and will probably be how it is until the world is blessed when I’m gone ..,,as my dad told me…nobody cares …nobody really cares so just shut up and leave everyone alone….when his beloved son was threatening to burn my home down with me in it..,I am the problem not his son

[@elmaymoona]

You were a catalyst in my journey ❤

[@wendy645]

❤ Listening to this list was both encouraging because I recognize some progress in all of these areas, and also comforting and wonderfully reassuring that I'm not the defective one in life, and that I'm not alone in these struggles. Thank you so much!!!

[@yourshade]

I love that you quoted MUNA! I may have to adopt that as a self-compassion mantra too! Thanks for that, Heidi. :)

[@paulcatiang]

Dear Heidi, thank you so much for this video. I'm a fan of your work. While watching this video, I had to pause a few times because I found myself going into my head and imagining a fight response-I tend to go that way, after spending childhood and young adulthood in fawn and freeze responses. I don't think I have CPTSD, as my history and symptoms seem to align more with Childhood Emotional Neglect, but the effects are similar in that I have been prone to dysregulation. I'm dysregulated as often now-for comparison, I was dysregulated for months from 2014 to maybe 2021. I managed to mostly resolve my toxic shame some time last year, and that has softened a lot. Now, my struggle is with toxic blame. I am objectively justified in blaming people whose choices made me this way, and it's currently my path of healing. The struggle is that my holding on to blame keeps me from taking responsibility for myself and my suffering now. It's hard when one of my parts is a wounded and tyrannical child seeking revenge, and it's taking a while to shift from blame to accountability. Anyway, I just thought I'd share; knowing you've struggled with CPTSD and have come this far helps me a lot, because you know on that deep level what it's like. Please know that I see you and have much sympathy for our collective suffering. Thank you again for all your work.

[@randolphproksch3946]

It’s such a privilege and -- 💃JOY 🕺🏿 -- to be on this journey with you!!

[@melinatrejo2450]

Thank you ❤ I am on the healing journey but I just had a situation that triggered me and I felt so anxious and crazy, I felt like my healing wasn't working but knowing that it is normal to still have bad days on this journey feels nice

[@lihtan]

I just had a major revelation that I've been failing to effectively meet my healing needs, and it's caused my life to spiral out of control. A big factor of that was being in denial about how severe my symptoms have become.

[@aliciainwonderlandDNR]

This was so incredibly affirming of the work I’ve done thus far. My first happy tears. Thank you.

[@DR-vf9tr]

Wow thank you so much for making this video. Helps me be more compassionate to myself and not get too caught up in perfectionism

[@heidirachaelpieterse5109]

And thabk you for giving me hope!!! I was beggining to think that a happy life wasn't possible for me. But looking at you...hearing how wise you are and how at peace... You've shown me that it is possible. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@sparkstudies1675]

The intro really touched me. I've been fighting myself HARD for weeks trying to read Pete Walker's book on PTSD and the book Healing The Shame That Binds us, only to find myself closing tgen minutes after I started. I would ask myself why I was bothering to read something that wasn't written for me. but for people with actual struggles, actual trauma, actual external problems, whatever. I chalked my own struggles up to being dramatic and flawed and like you mentioned, just incompetent when it came to managing the central aspects of my life. And even though I fought with these ideas on some instinctual level, I just didn't have the strength to fully rise out of them and hold space to even validate myself like having imposter syndrome for trauma. Thank you for at least being an external voice that encouraged me to give it another go. I've fallen so far in resignation from trying to overcome these seemingly inherent and wired flaws in myself that make me 'oh so different', but watching your videos literally gives me hope that one day I will be able to understand and unconditionally love all parts of myself consistently. The clinging out of desperation thing is so familiar to me. Genuinely wondering if not all people did this when growing up at least though? Does everyone just have cptsd? I also really love the eay you said that the self soothing is not just a lack of self control but actually related to being triggered. On a surface level I knew this, but it didn't really dawn on me why things like that happen. "No matter how much healing I've done in my life, I don't want to be believe that I'm above struggling." Was also such a powerful statement. Can definitely relste to apparent periods of progress followed by patches of desperation that sweep me off my feet... 😅

[@nopethesesharks]

Your videos are so incredible to me because for the first time I feel truly SEEN, it’s like you crawled inside my head. Thank you. Healing is such hard work, so I do this in small doses - your videos included. It’s truly the power or peer support. Thank you from the bottom of my whole heart.

[@simonwilson7581]

You're such a inspiration for us. Thank you for being you.

[@Silkworth]

This is one of your best psycho information videos. Thank you.

[@drivative]

There's a range of sources I'm going to daily for content, but I only come here when I'm feeling very focused and capable, because I know there's a high chance I'll get something revelatory or highly resonating and there's only so much of that I can cope with. This lesson hit that spot once again. Thank you, Heidi! 😢❤ This reinforces where I'm finally at in my journey. Plus, I'm going to watch it again and pay special attention to the latter parts for focus points for moving forward. I particularly found points 2 and 9 the most affecting. Whilst I'm here, I want to say thanks SO MUCH for essay 21 in 'This Is Me Letting You Go', titled 'Let Me Fall In Love With Your Darkness'. I have read it many times because it sees one of the most shame-filled parts of me and helps me feel normal about it; that is, not have to believe I need to hide it away, but to keep all of myself and my life and seek to thrive even with it. ❤❤

[@ENFPerspectives]

15:00 Mike drop. The potential for relatable, intellectual relationships is gratifying and peaceful.

[@marconius2020]

I love all of your videos, Heidi, and this one was one that has given me some encouragement. Even when I feel like I'm barely moving down my own healing path, I'm still making progress no matter how small it is. The fact that you keep posting all the fantastic videos that you do is amazing. I will have to remember to look at myself in the mirror and say, "Don't leave me now" when I'm feeling like a dumpster fire. Thank you so much!

[@arimolyki]

Everyone recomends this book, but never mentions how INTENSE his patient's stories get. I was not about that..

[@shelleyf7676]

Thank you again for a powerful video. To think through these topics while you share is so grounding. Just as you mentioned being able to restore your hope that there are adults "out there" who are stable and caring by reading self-help books, your videos invite that kind of reclamation for me. You speak on topics that many others address here on YT, but your almost surgically precise presentation combined with the humble anecdotes from your own life are a healing combination for me, and many others, I suspect. Thank you.

[@ewetoob100]

Everything resonates. I'm just so grateful that you have this channel, and what you said about having the humility to learn and be taught is very, very beautiful and timely for me. I wish you the best and I'm deeply appreciative of what you give to the world, and to us.

[@maxime.lalisse]

This is exactly what I needed to hear

[@chavesa5]

The piece on humility hits. Thank you again Heidi.

[@marianbergroth8228]

Thank you Heidi, from the bottom of my heart!

[@nielsdahl2022]

Thank you for this fantastic video 🙏🏻

[@Sariimura]

💥💥💥 your content is on fire!

[@SuperstarPecanbar]

Deep humility. You said it in a way i could hear.

[@Emma.2870]

Thank you Heidi !! Amazing video ❤

[@katrinat.3032]

I had a similar experience. And that I needed to find a mentor, but I didn’t have any. But I could picture someone I knew that had a healthy relationship and I would tell myself it is possible because that person has it. It took a long time and a couple years. I noticed other people that had healthy relationships and then I started to believe that they were possible, all this while going through therapy. But same experience now. I meet more and more healthy people but every time I do it relaxes my soul just like you said. It’s like oh yeah these healthy people are really out here, and now I am one of THEM!

[@swedenguy1418]

Thank you for this!

[@akiki5332]

You are such a gem for a lot of us

[@andersnelson6888]

Love how each point is clearly stated with a given example, then followed up with an approach.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

This is true. It's weird. Since I went no-contact, I am remembering all sorts of incidences that I had forgotten. Like I dug up some old tax records from 2006-2007 that was proof that my mother was financially abusing me. I had forgotten all about it. But there it was in paper and ink, with my signature on it. :( It was very sobering. How I could just completely forget about that........ because it traumatized me, that my mother could do that to me at a very vulnerable time for me financially. She used me without a care. Now I have kids, and she tried to do it again.... only this time, I went no-contact. I felt guilty about it.... but as my repressed memories keep resurfacing --- like finding those tax records -- I'm able to look back on how she really was never a good parent. And how by having kids, and realizing I could NEVER do the things she did to me..... I had to cut contact to protect myself.

[@fdematteis9]

Thank you for this! It resonates deeply 💛

[@shb2468]

All of your videos blow my mind! Thank you!

[@diegomesa2337]

Thank you always heidi you have gotten me through two of my most difficult years

[@dbryn2]

What an excellent video! It was nice to hear about some the training you received

[@LauraHernandezUCL]

Heidi, tank you so much for the work you do. It's helped me immensely.

[@Aline7]

Really hits the spot ❤ Thank you for your comprehensive and intelligent content and for your vulnerability and compassion

[@launacasey6513]

I really needed to hear this now. It's reaffirming that I'm making progress - not just spinning my wheels. Thank you.

[@bendevito436]

Thank you so much Heidi for you amazing content and all the vulnerability you show. ❤

[@katiehealer8861]

You are so clear, concise and very helpful. Thank you for your honesty.

[@abnormpsych17]

Please never stop with the book recommendations 👏🏾 I love them.

[@Mojo67821]

I needed this today. Thank you.

[@hannahfitts3453]

I am so grateful for you. Thank you for these videos. Thank you thank you.

[@joshliam1967]

Watching this I'm about halfway through my healing journey, and that's exciting to see! Thanks so much for sharing.

[@ranc1977]

On target, as always, extremely helpful. Amazing job here.

[@danielposavec7215]

Amazing video! Thank you for distilling your knowlewdge for us. 🙏

[@bohemianslouch3749]

i’ve literally been able to put a name to my problems, thanks to you. and that’s been instrumental in starting this healing process. ahhhh!!! 💖💖💖

[@abbierobinson6873]

I’d just like to thank you for sharing these tips/tricks/tools. ❤

[@CreativeArtandEnergy]

I’m grateful you are talking openly about these sorts of people that we see ourselves like. I have been coming out this weird stage of guilt for leaving a large friend group and it’s important to talk about these perspective molds that are molded around avoiding people that don’t have attachment difficulties.

[@heatherpratt1551]

This is mind blowing. Just wow.

[@mads597]

This is the most personally relevant, affirming, encouraging, almost eerily resonant video I’ve had the privilege of viewing. You are germinating hope… ❤

[@CemalEker]

I don’t know how many times your videos helped me to pull myself out of the emotional hole I’ve dug for myself. Thank you Heidi ❤

[@janawallace1373]

grateful to see some of these guideposts while knowing what else to look for and forward to in this journey. thank you so much for sharing!

[@roblake602]

Thanks Heidi!

[@Saavycupcake]

Heidi, you’re awesome. You’re using your recovery and helping others. As I continue my own work I like to do the same and offer hope, without assuming I’m an expert of course. I wish you all love, hope and healing. We can do this. ❤