How to Tell You're Having an EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK (and what to DO about it)

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***
An "Emotional Flashback" is a trauma reaction common for people who went through abuse and neglect as kids. Until recently there was no name for it. Learning about it and recognizing it in yourself can free from a lifetime of self-blame and shame about a frustrated, sad, angry state that you thought came out of "nowhere." In this video I share from Pete Walker's book, "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving." (Azure Coyote Books, 2013), including his 13 tips to STOP a flashback when it's already happening.
“CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker:
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***
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[@candycain1001]

Holy crap, not ten minutes ago I was looking at videos about mental hospitals because of suicidal thoughts and anxiety. This explains EVERYTHING. 😭 THINK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Beautiful!

[@ragdollrose2687]

I hope you're doing a bit better 💗 I know it helped me a lot when I realized that's what's happening. I wish you to get the help you need

[@cynthiapatton990]

Bless you!

[@lizahasbeenhere.836]

Hope you're feeling better.

[@Catbooks]

So glad you found your way to this channel too! Isn't it amazing how much good it does to finally listen to someone who understands, and has found a road out of this? Hope you're doing well! ❤️

[@marielarsson6718]

My emotional flashbacks are pure panic. Like a panic attack that goes on for about a week. Its hell. My brain cant stop thinking about every horrible scenario that would possibly happen in my life. Its cruel. Thank you for this. ❤

[@petyabor5223]

Hello!How are you feeling now? Are you going to therapy? Curently dealing whit the same.

[@narressa]

Hi I just saw your comment. I'm finally addressing my CPTSD this is what also happens to me. Something has to give. I hope we can heal quickly ❤

[@barry1369]

Whenever someone is angry at someone or I hear anger or someone is angry at me I always get super scared

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, I know that feeling, and I know many people here can relate too.

[@TeamCat1128]

Same. I also go completely numb.

[@theresakendziora8992]

All the time

[@steve4524]

My flashbacks are manly the feelings of fear and abandonment. I say a mantra. I am safe now, I am 40 years past my abusive father and loveless mother. I am safe now.

[@jemmajames6719]

I’m in my fifties still feel this way unfortunately married a man who continued were they left off. Although they treat me the same all my adult life.

[@durgaambika4342]

Whenever I say mantra I break down into tears thinking that how miserable I'm that I need to chant manthras in order to survive Fear, shame and abandonment are my flashbacks

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

@Steve good method!

[@Mimi-yp9dl]

Wow Steve, you just described my childhood.

[@charlotte5671]

Thank you Yes I'm going to use that mantra. Because I don't know how I can still feel the same way as a kid even tho all is Well & I am safe now. But maybe I'm having this experience so I can be brought forward here and receive all of this information. Thank you 💓

[@emmabrown5787]

My emotional flashbacks are much like yours - I wake up dysregulated and, if I have to rush around, I get all worked up into a panicked/agitated/angry frenzy. I start thinking about to-do lists as well and the spiraling intensifies. I'm so glad that now we know what these are - I really just thought I was a moody, hysterical person!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I think we all that!

[@heathermartin8852]

Oh my gosh same here!!!!!

[@ebarker8908]

I go thru the same thing as you. It's so overwhelming.

[@madisonpoiry216]

​@@CrappyChildhoodFairyDo you notice a hormonal correlation with this? Like the flashbacks get worse depending on where you are in a monthly cycle? I think sometimes the hormone drop really triggers this waking up dysregulated and immediately feeling overwhelmed.

[@sandisedore7425]

Thank you. I'm not alone and now understand my mood shifts. Living with anxiety and CPTSD has been tough. Im 52 and just now starting to heal my past because I now understand where it all comes from. Your videos have changed my life. Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're into some healing work and glad you're here.

[@katieg.4593]

Me too. I thought it was all my fault and I only had2 deal with my depression alone. My faith and God has helped me through good ppl of faith. I have had regular good therapy from 4 different counselors but the place I go to has always given me what I need. Catholic Charities.

[@tomjames7713]

hi sandi, i too am a fellow sufferer of the past childhood dysfunctional upbringing and glad to be part of the fairy family. i dont feel all alone anymore in my troubles as i did prior to getting the info on cptsd. its wonderful aint it? knowing its not just you who been struggling throughout life feeling like the odd ball all the time. yes it has been tough, i always thought well its just me and my burden to carry. that no one else understands me, but we do have good hope now. yeah, i knew all what i went through as a kid but like you in life i never could put it all together to know and realize that this is the very reason for the many aspects of my difficulty. i too found this out not long ago from miss anna and im 59. her vids have given me new life too in the sense of actually believing i am normal and was just coping normally to unnormal trauma suffered in my childhood upbringing. thanks to anna and all us here to help to share with one another.

[@jocelynstewart1186]

Im here too at 59.....with ya . keep in touch

[@melissaguevara724]

Same here! I finally understand my mood shifts now too. I feel your pain. Hang in there! Hugs to you!

[@nelesseptember5973]

This book- life saving. I remember feeling so ashamed about my past actions, blame myself for days and months only until Pete Walker’s book landed in my lap and I felt so validated and seen. It helped me to shift from guilt to self compassion. Im looking forward to the interview!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks, I'm looking forward to it too!

[@jclyntoledo]

Omgosh 😭😭 yes that book has also helped me so much. I never knew what to call it until he said it in the book and the audiobook version is pretty great btw.

[@kassandra7607]

You asked us to tell what helps us: here’s what helped me. 1. Your channel 2. The app “The Tapping Solution” 3. Pete Walkers book on CPTSD. I’m not healed or perfect or something, but this helps me in a crisis. Oh, and I forgot: my family and friends. The best thing I learned during my life: how to get along with other people without being “fake”. Being yourself is not an easy thing when you grow up with trauma!

[@merrym7174]

Yes, I agree. It's hard to grow relationships when you can't be yourself. I don't want that anymore. I want to change in this area.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

@Kassandra great list!

[@tumbleweeduk7479]

When I am climbing the walls I google, Brad Yates desperate, and about seven minutes later EFT has brought me back down to Earth again! Namaste 🙏

[@kvonduyke]

My same list - it’s been like growing on steroids.

[@katerineella274]

I will be 68 in a few weeks and I feel that no one has ever known me. I isolate myself, have social anxiety that has prevented me from going to gatherings (I've only been to a party a couple of times in my life) and often feel lethargic and unable to do anything. In the past I would put on the mask of whatever my job required and was able to be extroverted and do well. Now that I am retired, it seems that I am having trouble getting up the energy to do even the simplest of tasks and thanks in part to covid, I sometimes go months without speaking to anyone. I was physically and emotionally abused by both of my parents and sexually abused for years by my father. I feel like I haven't had a life at all.

[@thekellers5041]

I like Richard Grannon’s hand mnemonic. Thumb is you. You are you, you are not your feelings, they exist separate from you. Stop and identify what feeling you’re having. Pointer finger, point to what feeling you’d rather have. Middle finger, the tallest sticks up like an antenna to tune in the feelings you want to have. Identify what you’d rather be feeling and what you actually need to do to feel that way. Ring finger is a commitment to yourself. DO IT. Pinky is the karate chop, chop off responsibilities that do not belong to you from responsibilities that are yours. You can only control you. Not others.

[@bernadette573]

I follow his Fortress tutorials and it changed my entire outlook. I love the pragmatic steps he gives.

[@susan4990]

🏆🤣

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@user-sg8wf5qo9s]

I did it as he recommended for 3 months, 5 times a day, it saved my life, I guess... now I feel I need to do it at least once a day, or I can lose the result. It's no magic, it really is self-duscipline everyone deserves. Glad to see your comment, mate

[@im19ice3]

thank you for sharing! the pinky one is gold.

[@colleenwatch]

I've been describing this phenomenon to mental health professionals for years. One time I said it to a psychiatrist and she looked confused. I said, do you know what I mean. She shook her head. Man, I've got to wait until a book comes out?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

we will get there!

[@moontan3927]

I know right! So crazy and frustrating. We need to be the experts on ourselves to "teach" the experts.

[@jclyntoledo]

It's okay, honestly it took me awhile just to figure out it was about shame. For a very long time I would just say, I feel bad, really bad like I want to hide away and disappear or die. Then in 2018 realized the feeling was shame and recently I read/listened to the audiobook and 🤯 now I understand what was happening to me. All this time I thought it was all just an indicator that I couldn't emotionally regulate properly and was wondering why I still have this issue. But also yeah I feel like the few times I did short term therapy, they would never understand it fully which frustrated me.

[@nusagrace]

My flashback feels like I'm not going to survive, like I am powerless, like everything is out of control, like nobody understands, anger, like it will never get better. It comes from my parents always argueing. My dad is a very smart narcissist. Those flashbacks from all the hurtful things my dad did to me. From how unsafe I felt.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand as few others can. You're in the right place and we're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

Dread & nausea Always waiting for the other shoe to drop is exhausting

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

It is, we don't have to live like that anymore!

[@eastalawest1633]

Omg I really hope Pete comes on the channel, it would be so great to see these two wonderful people talk.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Really excited!

[@merrym7174]

Yes yes yes!!!! That would be A+ 💯✅👍😊

[@Outlawsrevenge1020]

For me flashbacks are very visual in my mind. I relive and see moments from my past where I was hurt or extremely angry. I get this overwhelming feeling of rage at my father. Thankfully I am able to recognize now when I'm having one and it almost immediately stops it, and I'm able to safely let go of my anger.

[@medearene6822]

I've had to try and explain this concept to my husband, who comes from a loving home. In my case, there are certain phrases or tones that are my primary triggers. My mother's main arsenal was verbal and emotional abuse. Even seemingly innocent things like: "I know what you're like" or "stop crying" During small disagreements, my husband might say one of my trigger phrases entirely in context and innocently, but my brain hears the words and it's like my mother's voice and inflection are superimposed over his voice. I suddenly feel a rush of emotions that I used to feel whenever she'd say that thing to me and I'd react as I used to back then (anger, defensiveness, getting upset or emotional). It took me a while to figure out why such small disagreements with my husband would spiral so quickly into explosive fights. When I realised it was because I had been thrown back into fight or flight from a specific phrase, and wasn't actually hearing him anymore, I have been more self aware and taking a moment to ask myself "did he mean it like that or am I flashing back?"

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This describes my whole life until I started the Daily Practice. It is amazing how I experience people now v. the "old days". bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@cm9317]

I can completely relate to the thoughts "I have to do everything," but I do believe that is actually true. I was neglected by my parents too. My father was an alcoholic & drug addict and my mother is mentally ill. I learned at a very young age that I could not trust or rely on them so I felt I did have to be self-sufficient and handle things on my own. I feel that I've been exhausted since I was a child.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand completely! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@desbrow3339]

I am with you. I do have to do everything, because I am single and do not have children. There isn't any partner or kids to delegate or help so it does get upsetting & overwhelming at times. But I do it all b/c it has to get done... sometimes procrastinating b/c of the overwhelm. It's a crazy cycle.

[@desbrow3339]

Oh, and yes, totally identify with feeling like you've been exhausted since childhood.

[@mish3563]

I know this is an old comment but thank you for writing, how are you doing in your recovery? I also had to be self sufficient, but learned very young that sleep was "dangerous", because that's when bad things would happen. I'm 44 now and not having restorative sleep is so damaging, with the addition of feeling like I need to do everything for myself and for others, and for finding it difficult to ask for or accept help. I am perpetually exhausted also.

[@isthisshit4real]

​@@mish3563- I know about not getting restorative sleep. I've had insomnia for years. Don't ever feel tired enough to sleep until wee hours in the a.m., then "blink out" suddenly asleep during the day. It's weird. Btw, this woman and her channel is amazing. Plus Pete Walker, wowza!!

[@ajc2208]

Gosh, this answered so many questions. Have been beating myself up for decades for not being strong enough to control my feelings or that I was a horrible negative person internally. Thank you for the healing aha moment.

[@michellejensen8424]

I second that

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad it resonated!

[@sytskepeterson6559]

"the chapters are short, which is perfect for PTSD" I just feel understood and loved...

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@jaycalderon2725]

KZbinr Richard Grannon has literally explained in detail that book. In between his channel and this channel I’ve healed tremendously. I bought the book around a year ago (recommended by Richard) and it has changed my life. I appreciate all these KZbinrs that are saving the world. Thank you! You are the real heroes.

[@geehappyhips]

Love Richard and this lady. I've untangled so many issues with the excellent insights provided. I will get that book now 😊

[@allisona9490]

I love his hand nemonic. I combine his and her writing exercise.

[@Midimoho]

THANK YOU so much for mentioning Richard Grannon!! I've never heard of him before, just googled his YT channel and OMG! love, love, love

[@jaycalderon2725]

@@Midimoho glad I can help!! Knowing about emotional flashbacks and how to deal with them has been the key to my healing process. He also talks about “emotional literacy” check on that as well😉... I like him and the crappy childhood fairy it’s like a dynamic duo, I spent soooo much money in therapy and I never got the help I needed until I followed these 2 channels.

[@nataliabogdanova2816]

Same here!

[@brandibenavidez1585]

Thank you so much. I am crying right now because I finally feel like it’s not my fault . I haven’t created this terrible person who just goes off the wall at something and gets overwhelmed at the to do list. Thank you for helping me and everyone who relates to this 😭❤️🌻

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for sharing with us :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@kristinryling1879]

Emotional flashbacks are my primary nemesis. For me those emotions are sorrow, grief, hurt, a sense of utter lovelessness and worthlessness, that I am not good at anything. It’s a cavernous mixture of all these, as well as lessors, fear and self hate, it’s so unbelievably intense. I’ve fled in horror from this tsunami for decades. I began having repeated nightmares, reliving a tremendously violent day in my past, over months it dragged me into the emotional pit. I couldn’t remember anything to do, it’s like my thinking mind was gone. All I did was cry, the crying carried this intense desire to cut or kill myself, those were hostile tears, the bottom tears of a well that hated me. I literally turned on myself during that torture and began despising my own heart and anatomy for their capacity to inflict suffering. I cried for days. I got out of it accidentally, for some reason I just began humming, I was voicing those feelings, imposing nothing, just humming whatever melodic course my emotions transcribed. After an hour or so I relaxed somewhat, and began re-regulating. I went to those feelings kicking and screaming, but I learned I could speak to that mountain. After I regained some composure, I spoke to the thoughts and supplemented rational cognitions over that vicious dad voice in my head. The dreams begin dissipating. Sadly, it didn’t remove those feelings, but when emotional triggers occur, I wrestle with my erratic flight response, until I calm down, and I sit with them until they to leave. So far I’m managing to raggedly maintain control, I am doing much better. I find humming to be soothing. I was helpless and passive in that violence, when I’m in flashbacks I’m passive, or wanting to run wildly from the violence. So I’m not running and I’m being proactive and assertive. Each person has a different expression of trauma, for me a light beckons now and then, an important key is given to a traumatic lock, it’s the God heart in my journey showing me pieces of the puzzle. ♥️🌹🕊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You'll need help dealing with this, the Daily Practice can be a lifesaver, was for me :) bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@merrym7174]

I like what you said, " you sit with it until you calm down and it passes" That's what I'm trying to do. Pray. Write. Sit with it. Wait. I wait on the Lord. Until the peace comes or I have a new thought. Thank you for sharing.

[@kristinryling1879]

@@merrym7174 Wish I hadn’t spent so long running from it, but there wasn’t any information, no Crappy Childhood fairy. You and I are in the same place, and I believe eventually these emotional triggers will dissipate and our spirits will find a calmer day. Fight or flight just reinforces the idea of danger, sitting and accepting these feelings, listening and learning, eventually it will get better. I’ll pray for you, pray for me, the victories will come in small steps I expect, but maybe we will run with freedom instead of fear in our future. ♥️🕊

[@carolwhelihan1514]

This is an amazing description, and for the first time I am reading someone's explanation that is so similar to mine. I am so sorry that any human being feels this way, as I do. Thank you for your truth on these. It is so sad to be relieved that someone else understands, but I thank you sincerely for expressing.

[@angieolsson8175]

Wow you have a husband and kids despite what you have been through! I don't let ppl anywhere near me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I did this every day for years (still do) bit.ly/3608opl

[@TeamCat1128]

Something that’s helped me during my flashbacks is to tell myself, “feelings aren’t facts.” It seems to decrease the severity.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great strategy! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@fraublut-kranz9967]

Love this

[@defh2o]

Hi Anna - I have found an unusual remedy to flashbacks. I am 60 and have listened to Pink Floyd's song Comfortably Numb many times and for a lot of reasons- it's comforting is the best... Last week I was listening to the song and a lyric struck me - "There is no pain you are receiving- a distant ship smoke on the horizon." I'm not receiving pain, it's manufactured in my head. It's as distant as that ship on the horizon but I bring it close because of the flashbacks. What people do can make me angry or fearful or happy... but it's my choice to feel what I want or need to feel; not theirs. Am I there yet...meh... but I am going to get there CPTSD and ADD be damned. I have a couple of flashbacks which give me considerable pause... I just tell myself I'm ok and it's in my head - make it go far away to the ship on the horizon.. I don't want to be comfortably numb in life as the person in the song - the song is not about drugs btw - I do want to feel, but its my choice to feel or think good about myself and my choice to not feel something someone has made me feel or shamed me into thinking like I'm not worthy. btw any horizon is 27.2 miles due to the Earth's curve- that's a good far place to send that shame. - Peace y'all you do deserve it.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

The concept that we are manufacturing our own pain is an advanced enlightenment it took me years to understand. I got there by doing the Daily Practice! Glad you're here :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@cacatr4495]

Off-topic, but having read the comment, and now replying to it, 27.2 miles would make a mighty small Earth.

[@defh2o]

@@cacatr4495 the horizon is 27.2 miles from where you are. Because of the curvature of the Earth, we can’t quite see Russia from Alaska…lol. However imagining any pain we are feeling as having a home 27 miles away: to me I find it a good place to start to distance myself from it. Peace and healing and love to you

[@cthornton523]

"...and *I* have to do EVerything..." Bam! You rock, Anna Runkle.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@snowglass1972]

Creativity helps me, it's my job but it grounds me in the moment, I guess its mindfulness. I have my safe places which are mine, my workshop and my greenhouse. I also now have a dog and that has helped me so much as she gives me so much love without any pressure to ask for it. Asking for help sometimes makes me feel shame as it shows to me I'm a victim and weak...I'm working on that

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We might believe asking for help is weak but that isn't true- and we can start working on those beliefs that don't serve us by starting our healing work. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@amandaandrews2788]

I listened to Pete Walkers book a couple weeks ago and had the same intense "Aha!" moment about the emotional flashback piece. I have been trying to manage those emotions with present day methods, but after trying the 13 steps on Pete Walkers list my ENTIRE internal system was able to move through the emotions without being completely hijacked for the rest of the day and it's the biggest relief of my life.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad to hear that!

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Even though I know I have CPTSD and that I had emotional flashbacks, I viewed them only as reactions to specific triggers. I never realised that every few mornings when I wake up irritated, agitated, angry, stressed, bored, resentful and really grumpy and negative, that this was an emotional flashback! I always knew I needed to be alone a lot in the mornings (and at night...and ideally in the day too, lol) to de-compress...which sounds kind of ridiculous considering I JUST woke up, but it's how I feel. I think, after watching this video, that I need that quiet alone time to actually re-regulate myself as I've woken up dysregulated. Wow. That's an eye opener for me! I think it also took me a long time to even notice this because for the last 15 years, I've had the house to myself most days from long before I even got out of bed until just before dinner, so I never had to react, respond or interact with anyone. I'd be on my own time, be free to talk to myself about whatever, sing silly songs, and whatever else. Nowadays, I have extremely minimal space so...yeah. A question - I have BPD as well as CPTSD (and depression, anxiety and OCD), so I feel like most of the time, I'm LIVING in an emotional flashback. Like just always. I know where I am, I know I'm not 6 or 10 or 14 years old, but my whole entire state of consciousness still feels the same. My emotional flashbacks are roughly articulated as being... - Nobody cares about me and my needs - I hate myself for even having needs - I don't deserve to have my needs met - I hate my "favourite person" because... - My FP hates me because blah and blah - I am so unhappy - I am so bored...and boring - What's the point of getting up? It's safer in bed where I don't have to deal with anything and if I stay sleepy, I won't have to feel

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing- this is the starting point for getting out of that "groundhog day" type feeling bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@candycain1001]

All of this.

[@BigSkinty91]

Yessssss😭 I hate when I get into those

[@imsunnybaby]

i just realized i have such intense reactions to girls that i identify as like 'pretty popular girls' my idea of them just like how it was back in elementary school... great to notice and identify our triggers

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I have that too! It used to cause me a lot of pain because I didn't realize I was reacting to old traumas. The Daily Practice is what really brought it home for me. bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@sueg2658]

I have horrific nightmares and wake up with the flashbacks. At age 72 and I am remembering previously blocked memories. It’s sickening. I wake up feeling like the crap was literally beaten out of me. It was at the hands of my narcissistic mother. I have Pete’s book and obviously need to reread it. I read it years ago. But back then I didn’t know about narcissism and like I said, much of my memories around my mother were blocked and most still are. Thank you for shinning the light for us.

[@auntymarushkafah]

The waking up dysregulated; not so much myself, although I always wake up cranky and nervous under stress, but I CLEARLY remember it in my sister. She would get out of bed with this resentful, sulky, furious look on her face when we were together. I'd feel "oh no, not again" because I knew she was going to work herself up to viciously emotionally attacking me. I always half realized she was having a flashback. She and I were like cats tied together in a bag as children.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@helenk4357]

When you said that things happened before you could talk a light bulb went off for me. You made me wonder if cptsd is the reason I can't remember my childhood? Any memories I do have are negative. I have only one photo as a little girl where I am laughing and it is taken with my cousins. I look at it sometimes and think 'I can't remember being happy like that as a kid'. I am learning so much from your videos, thank you so much!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for being here, blocking out memories from childhood is not unusual for CPTSD. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@user-cs3bi2cj7b]

Wow I can relate

[@hinkeburuma2254]

its one off the most difficult parts i find ,because you dont want to blame somebody when its not true .a;though the emotial abuse went on till she died . what give me so much peace yesterday is i have 11 off the 12 symptoms ,there i found my answers and finally understand where all the screwed up emotions come from. Anna you do so much fir me already ,thank you

[@tevjun8856]

There are a lot of pictures I have from when I was a child where I look sad (including a photo I wrote over “good girl (I’m ftm but.) outside bad inside” whenever I was a kid, which was very shocking to find.) and then there are photos where I was happy, apparently. don’t remember any of that. all I remember is being sad and only bad memories. : (

[@r.p.8906]

I’m so grateful you did this video! Few people even heard of it.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That is changing we hope...

[@r.p.8906]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy with you. Yes.

[@SDesmond22]

I cannot recommend Pete Walker's book enough! It was my introduction to CPTSD and finally learning a language I had known my whole life but could not speak.

[@mmikaojONE]

Peter Walker has helped me so much 🙏

[@joanmcmullin8971]

Excellent book!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

He's very wise!

[@marthaotero5975]

Wow. This is me to a T. All the info here will be VERY HELPFUL to me. Just being able to say I'm having a emotional flash back and putting words to it is very liberating! Thanks so much!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad it helped!

[@melissaguevara724]

Wow this makes so much sense to me. Explains so much! I often have that feeling of I need to run away and get somewhere by myself, then when I do I just break down and cry. It’s horrible to not even know, until now, what I have been running away from. I’m 35 and I am just not finally learning what has been so wrong with me. It’s amazing. I’m not doomed to be broken forever!!!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are NOT doomed!!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@m2the]

Sometimes what's needed is to just get out of the situation. Politely excuse yourself and get into a different environment, especially awalk in nature!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We work on finding the thing that helps us! For me, it helps to lie down. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@kathrynsmith3417]

Sadly, occasionally, I get hit by emotional back lash out of my past. Usually hits me when I'm feeling my weakest, depressed, suffering allergies, asthma, fibro pain, pain from my bone disease. Its tough, I try to dispel it, never using alcohol, no illegal drugs, etc. I work to do positive self esteem for myself.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

There are strategies to help us realize what is happening and get out more quickly. That's the best we can do and it's a lot! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@mushuchicken8256]

Man's domain is the present moment. The more you live in the present the more power you have in your life. That's what I've discovered, at least.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Absolutely, but it takes a lot of work to for many of us to achieve that. All these courses are designed to get us more here and now, happier with what we have, able to access the relationships we want :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@tomtbi]

An argument with my parents yesterday brought flashbacks from my molestation...

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sorry to hear that, we have techniques to help manage those triggers

[@kamalanickiemciver9061]

I look forward to your interview with Pete Walker!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks Kamala, you'll be one of first to know!

[@helpyourcattodrive]

Pete Walker’s book is life changing. Thanks goodness for the book.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Agreed.

[@Huwevaans]

Havent seen my grandparents for months as i moved too a different country. I asked if i could stay the night to visit my grandmothers reply "umm i guess soo".. this caused an emotional flashback of neglect, my whole body feels rattled. No wonder my mothers emotionally immature.

[@claudiamcghin3419]

This video is a lightbulb moment for me. I often wake up depressed or panicked for seemingly no apparent reason and I never made the connection why.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Aha. Yes.

[@terryanngallagher3605]

I'd made leaps forward in recent weeks, then today crept up on me like a locomotive. Lost day. Then saw this video....exactly what is going on. 68 and sick of it destroying the good in my life. Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this!

[@Jerome_111]

My flashbacks have a lot of hate and anger towards people that I feel have wronged me somehow, but during the flashbacks the most innocuous things can set me off.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Try the Daily Practice, stay more regulated more of the time bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

[@addhoc256]

what helps is my emotional flashbacks: They force me to look at a relation with a friend better. I tend to subconsiously choose the same type of friends and I listen to their stories but the other way around I dont feel heard enough. Probably because Im better at listening and not very good at explaining my own things. So I attract people who dont mind me not talking and who are dominating the conversation. But I dont notice that... untill something medical happens. I totally do not accept them not informing about my health or even forgetting what it was. And it comes from when I was 5 I really had a potentially fatal medical issue and the whole family pretented that never happened or just played it down.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for participating in the conversation :)

[@annaread3829]

I never heard of Emotional flashbacks and now I have a name for what happens to me anytime I have “tasks” that fall on me!! I grew up in a home where adults were not responsible and the kids did everything!!! I always felt overwhelmed and had way to much responsibility put on me from a very young age. No wonder I freak out anytime someone asks me to do something!!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great that you have the awareness now :)

[@Catbooks]

When I'm having an emotional flashback, and am present enough to realise that's what's happening, the most helpful thing I've found so far is to take several long, slow deep breaths. After that, the path out, whatever that may look like, is easier to see.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, great tip! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@merrym7174]

I have the same negative mantra! I wake up. I'm ruminating. I got my list. And I already think I gotta do everything. And nobody reliable to depend upon. Whew, it's so exhausting to live like this. I hear u .I hear u. I hear you! 🤮

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome :)

[@superapple6186]

After 4 days of panicking in waves and trying to figure out how to make it stop, I came across this video and I’ve been in tears and finally feeling okay again within seconds. Thank you a million times

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad it helped! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@superapple6186]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I watch this now whenever I’m feeling that wave of anxiety come over me because I know I’m having an emotional flashback. I think I’ll sign up for the boot camp when I’m ready because this video both saved me but also forced me to think about things I’ve avoided for years. This video is my baby step. You truly are godsend. Thank you, Crappy Childhood Fairy. You’re a wonderful person and reading the comments show just how many of us appreciate you.

[@turkanismail1848]

@@superapple6186 When the feelings come, let them happen. Then they de-sensitize over time. They come up to be experienced. Try not to tense and resuppress ❤

[@hellodenise9612]

This is me. So sad. My mom is bewildered as to why I feel this way.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

If it is an emotional flashback, you can't help it. But you can learn to identify what is happening and the occurrences are less with healing -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lisabates8982]

I don't think it was a flash back. ..but I had an episode today which brought me into a rage then tension & stress....neck,shoulder, back & anxiety....instead of going off ...I got myself alone, rested & did some deep breathing....my mind was racing with all thoughts of different thoughts of things...it took quite a while but suddenly eased away ...but tired & exhausted now....thank God you finally came up for me to listen to...thank you ✌️💖🌄

[@rocky1raquel]

Great job, Lisa! Thanks for sharing... it gives others hope 🙏🏼💫💞

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Oh wow, that sounds intense. Thank you for being here!

[@midnightshambler]

“The past can't hurt you anymore, unless you let it.”-V

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@ada5141]

Wow, never realized what this was until watching this video. About once a week or so, I wake up in an irritable mood, feel like nothing is right, etc. My "coping skill" before was to drink alcohol, but I've finally stopped that. Lately, when I wake up like that I try to distract myself the entire day, which is tiring and leaves me drained. I hate how it feels, especially when there is no immediate reason for it.

[@kp8174]

As you are speaking I hear myself coming through your voice. You are talking of my emotional flashbacks. Thank you for putting a name to my craziness. I’ll be buying that book.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for watching!

[@wolflar16]

I have been lucky enough to find somewhere to help me realize all these things about myself. As a kid there were many times I just wanted to go outside, sometimes the ability to do that feels good and reminds me I am in control of my life.

[@lynnlewis9938]

I love your honest self-awareness, and how well you express it. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@mattg675]

I found this video at the perfect time. I can now put a name to what I’ve been referring to as “flare ups” all these years. I started remembering what was going on when they happened and it was usually something to do with a sense of hopelessness and abandonment.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you found it helpful, welcome!

[@elizabethtaylor9242]

Just knowing about it is helpful. At least a first step. Thanks.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! You might be interested in this free course bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

[@livingholistically1485]

Congratulations and thank you for bringing awareness.

[@annaldn8809]

"The overwhelm I sometimes wake up with is not about my to-do list, it's an emotional flashback" WHEWWW you are describing my life! thank you so much for your videos, discovered you 3 days ago and starting to notice my triggers and flashbacks- I finally feel on the right track!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome! Glad you're here!!!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@hollysusan3144]

I'm new at recognizing my emotional flashbacks. Just being able to label it has been life changing, as I can now calm myself down. Thank you!

[@michaelsager5688]

Wow! I I know one of mine " they hate me" is definitely a part of the flashback. I will look for more. The tell tale is all the fear, anger and chaotic thinking and those words " they hate me" Both of Peter Walker's books are fantastic. He gave me permission to deeply grieve and cry as much as I can. Still can't cry very much but getting better. Still new to this channel but the single greatest help so far is knowing I am dysregulating. I judged myself mercilessly for not having control of my emotions. Now I am beginning to see how heroic I have been all my life. Although I have only done the fear/resentments w/ meditation less than a handful of times I already see it's power. Thank you Anna as always and really looking forward to Peter Walker Interview. He is a very kind person. I wrote him to ask a question about grief and was very pleasantly surprised to receive a warm and thoughtful reply. It was not something I had ever done before writing an author to ask for more specifics and was grateful to have been greeted with such warmth and kindness.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Small steps! And some people just don't cry, it doesn't mean you aren't benefiting :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@dianabowen8774]

Your really a magical fiery. Can't thankyou enough for helping me I've been sinking with my ball and chain and I'm grabbing on to those pearls of wisdom and light. Thankyou

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome- thanks for watching!

[@stuttgartpio]

Im so glad I found you. I cried multiple times watching this because I finally felt understood and seen.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you're here!

[@SuperSoFlow]

Looking forward to that interview CC Fairy! Your videos are so helpful and I appreciate how you fit lots of useful info into small easy to process segments.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks, I do my best to make it relatable :)

[@mday3821]

I just found this channel. WOW, there is someone talking about bad childhoods. I grew up with two alcoholic parents and a narcissistic mother. Now, I have a name to something that I could never understand...Emotional Flash Backs! Thank you.

[@whitneyholtz8009]

When Pete Walker describes the feeling of an emotional flashback in the book, he says “it’s like a hot wind blows through you”. When I first read that it explained in words what I was feeling during an emotional flashback perfectly. His book has given me validity to what I have been experiencing for the past 35 years of my life. I think a lot of us had chopped our problems up to being mentally handicapped or emotionally stunted, in one way shape or form but to know that one it is not something we are born with and two it is something that we can heal from has finally given me hope that I can find peace.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes.

[@arishojaiee6483]

1 year into therapy and the emotional flashbacks last a week or two compared to before when they would last months. She recommended this book it’s been eye opening and comforting knowing what I have been going through

[@lilvalentine545]

My partner has CPTSD. One of the many things I've noticed is his obsession about staying warm. He keeps the fire going almost the entire year. He gets extremely stressed about getting cold and has to have a huge stock pile of firewood to feel OK. I have been talking to him about his past and it turns out he almost died in the snow and severe cold of -40°C in Canada on a few occasions. So even though he lives in Australia now the emotional flash backs are still really strong.

[@Privatenospying]

Dearest Anna Thank you for revealing what I’ve been suffering through and I just recently came to see these Emotional flashbacks which have been pounding me non stop since mid 2019

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad to be helping!

[@RhiannonBell252]

Thank you Anna, everything your saying makes so much sense. I’m so grateful for your channel.

[@ladyeightyjay606]

WOW that’s me exactly....always just thought I was a grouchy morning person. But dang the way you described it is spot on

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@cacatr4495]

People used to call it "waking up on the wrong side of the bed."

[@Fefe559]

that book, and YOUR VIDEOS are changing MY LIFE!!! Also reading Bessel Van Der Volk. but that book is ME 100%. 55 years I have been searching for what the fk is wrong with me and found many things, but the label of CPTSD is the most fitting thing I ever found. More accurate than just my 12 step recovery for my addictions, my adhd, my eating disorders, wondering if I am narcissist, blacksheep, scapegoat, middle child, lost child. my isolation, its all in that book and in rapid amount of time I am noticing changes in my behaviour, and thoughts.. rapid! from reading THAT BOOK and listening to YOU !!! Thank you.. keep up the life saving work Anna!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks so much for appreciating the Anna's work :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@LiveWelll]

I've been watching your channel for over a month now. I've learned a lot and I've shared your channel with four other family members. Thank you for putting this content out here for us to learn. God bless

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

glad to have you here Jack@TeamFairy

[@JS-yr5eo]

Thank you so much for making this video

[@rachaelledeamato3844]

I thank you. I am 71 and have been living with these feeling most of my life but especially during the past 10 yrs, when my husband of most 50 yrs walked out of our marriage without thought of what he did to me. All the emotions of my childhood have resurfaced. I can't wait to read the book you mentioned. Thank you again.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your comments!

[@lisacomeau9204]

Dear Anna, your channel has been a godsend. I have the flashbacks every morning as you've described. I have started relabeling this as morning brain and I try not to "buy into" the thoughts/feelings as much. It helps me just witness them and get on w my day. When I recognize I'm in a flashback state, I try to stop and do some breathing and reorienting myself, naming things I see, etc. Just knowing what is going on has been very helpful. I don't have to get into a whole storyline about the history behind it (unless I want to) but can somehow incorporate/integrate this into my day experience as just a thing. Making sure I am eating, hydrating sleeping and I'd essential. I also meditate. I haven't tried your writing practice yet, but I'm going to give it a try very soon.

[@FeliciaShare]

Yes I have this happen alot. Really sucks. Helps so much to understand what the steps are when you go though these

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, it does!

[@samba9145]

I have suffered with flashbacks of shame and guilt for over 20 years; my whole adult life. My head fills with the fuzz of the memory, my face turns red, I experience shortness of breath and then I usually shout out an expletive which has the effect of snapping me out of the flashback. This can loop for hours. This video has finally given me some relief in knowing that I do not suffer alone and that my emotions are recognised. Thank you for introducing me to Pete Walker and the term CPTSD. I will be ordering the book and researching the condition in more depth.

[@nataliabogdanova2816]

Just finished reading the book and feeling so lucky and excited to see him on your channel soon! 🧡😊🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad you read it!

[@Nina-vv3ev]

I get this a lot… it sucks…it’s dread 💀 i get an off crappy day… angry for no reason 😡 & I also get the intrusive thoughts & vivid “bad memories”/visual flashbacks too

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Understand completely! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@EspeonaSparkle]

Great and very important video!!!

[@TaschaGal]

So many things you said resonate immensely. My mind is in overdrive. I’ve read this book, and it did change a lot for me. I can see the emotional flashback in my face as well. And all the energy in my body leaves but yet I can’t sleep either.

[@PhanRegSop]

I had to pause so many times during this video because it’s so relatable

[@PhanRegSop]

I got this book based on your recommendation and am so glad you have a video on this!

[@mona-yn8wc]

I’ve had this so many years and I’ve never known. Thank you so much for this information and the book recommendation! Life changer for sure 🤦‍♀️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome!

[@ashleeruiz704]

I’m just happy to have free resources like this channel to just keep reminding myself of what to do so I can continue to heal. Thank you ❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful!

[@julieryan8179]

I'm going to replay this video a few times. This is great. Listening to the steps calmed me down instantly. I was feeling so drained and now I'm suddenly fully awake and in the present. I just cant thank you enough. Sending you blessings from here. Happy to have found this community.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Also glad you found us, thanks for commenting!

[@dancingram79]

I had forgottrn the anger and resentment I experienced in my late teens. I loooove lists! Thank you 🥰

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're so welcome, thanks for watching!

[@im19ice3]

when i first came across this concept it was such a big relief i filled up pages just writing down those words, i can go days without thinking about the past so when i had a bad day i kept blaming myself for not being able to let go, i felt freedom to know it wasnt my fault

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful progress! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@BH-kw8rh]

Thank you so much for talking a bit about how your emotional flashbacks play out in your relationship, this might sound weird but for me it's so comforting to hear that someone who seems as sorted and together as you are still deals with this! Helps to feel less alone / deficient with my struggles i guess. Thanks for all the great work you do, can't wait to hear you talk with Pete Walker 💙

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks so much! I am also looking forward to the Pete Walker interview :)

[@Kaleidopeaa]

Wow… my husband used to always point out that I was in a bad mood when I woke up and I could never understand why. I just told him I was always like that and it wasn’t personal to him but it always ended up in an argument. Thank you for this information 🙏🏼

[@Elethia441]

Happening this morning, first thing I woke up. 😐 It was scary to start acknowledge I FEEL stuff. I used to think of myself as super rational.. because I immediately proceed to fix/solve something, anything, just to get rid of that nervous energy. Feels good to acknowledge what is happening to me and learn to show it compassion & care.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for watching and sharing!

[@moonflower7657]

Life has been hard recently. Your videos have made me feel better and you've helped me get a better insight on myself. Also holy shit, I have spot on the same thoughts as you with the, "I have to do everything" mindset.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I think a lot of us have that feeling :)

[@little_tish8452]

Can't wait to see that interview. I know it'll go straight into my liked videos

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm looking forward to it too!

[@vanessasouthern1792]

It was so insightful to your own life Anna, really honest and its really helped me today. I'm having a difficult day today. I woke up angry. And then two big triggers happened later on. I've meditated and then put your channel on. It honestly saves me each time. Thank you. Love to all survivors. We're going to be okay. ❤ 🇬🇧

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Love back at you!

[@BumperKnits]

Thank you for this video! Although I’ve read this book which is extremely validating, you’re affirmations of how you are affected really touched me and made me feel a little less secluded.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're so welcome!

[@valentinavox5105]

Truly life changing work you are doing here. Thank you!