ENFPs: How To Make A F*cking Decision

[@davehasenford3985]

I wasted so much time and money on lousy therapy and even hipnotism and all I had to do was find this channel.

[@tulip5210]

*me an infp feeling called out by the title*

[@heidipriebe1]

😂 Oh I am sure this video 100% applies to INFPs as well!

[@Sm-ce7tg]

Same to you

[@speculative]

INFP here, definitely a master at analysis paralysis. 😅

[@sandrad9695]

I’m 57 and still have a hard time making big life decisions. But I think I know why. I have only known about being an ENFP for a few years now and have spent the majority of my life holding myself to SJ standards because they are the ones who get stuff done. And I like that! I love the idea of productivity, doing the right thing, and being a blessing to the world, to your family, to your workplace. So for me to make big life decisions, even at 57 with all of my life experiences, it’s still difficult because my habit is to not live authentically. My usual routine is to deny what I really want and do what I think “is right,” which means what’s right for an SJ. So living like an ENFP, and not feeling bad about it, is a new skill. But I’m working on it! And videos like these really help.

[@malek6610]

😭😭😭 Just stop it Heidi You are literally making a video for everything I struggle with in my life. Your videos are truly a blessing in my life. I really hope that I will have the chance to pay you back someday. Till then, thank you so much!

[@jam9064]

THE QUEEENN IS BACKKKKK!!!!!! I've been binging your videos more than ever the past month and man..., you deserve the whole world watching you. You are a self-help person who actually HELPS!!!!! I love you so much Heidi. As a 19 year old enfp just navigating this world after her life changed due to loss of my dad from covid, to having to cut off ties with my only family left because they were trying to use me for their own benefit and were just so manipulative, I have struggle finding "myself" but your videos help provide a guideline and give ideas as to direction I want to be steering towards my life. Secure attachment to myself (and thus, others) and resilient happiness My boyfriend and I love watching you together 🥰

[@RudZephyr]

Hey friend! I'm an 18 yro enfp, it's so nice to see people kinda my age looking at stuff like this lol

[@RishiDhanaraj]

oh wow 19yo ENFP! i used to be that when i first started reading heidi's stuff on thought catalog :) 6 yrs ago!! and still working on making decisions lol

[@sherrys3285]

Heidi, holy SHIT - this was the most right-place, right-time video you've ever made. As a young ENFP who is going to university this September, and who wasted months regretting the university/major/career path I chose + having mental breakdowns thinking about the thousand perfect theoretical lives I could have lived within a different school/program, I needed this immensely. I'm finally going to set up a thought boundary, stop wasting my time living in a theoretical world, and commit 110% towards POPPING OFF in my chosen path. Thank you so much

[@annagreenleaf9079]

Hi Heidi, I'm a young ENFP and I'm going to university in September. I would really like to see a video about ENFP study tips/studi methods: KZbin is full of xSxJ tips and I still struggle with concentration and organisation. Keep up your work, you're amazing! I really wish you fully recover from covid!

[@ENFPerspectives]

When you’re doing what you like, studying isn’t hard. The thing you have to do is take responsibility for what you choose to prioritize. There’s only so much time to do so many things. You have to put you first.

[@annagreenleaf9079]

@@ENFPerspectives yes but also with the things I like the most I often get distracted by thoughts and then procrastinate. It's not a matter of decision, really

[@exoticvariety]

I hope you already have, but Heidi's kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXq8anWCrKhreNU How to be productive without wanting to die, kinda helps. Hope you found the univeristy that is close to your heart, and unfold super powers along the way! :)

[@JennaPalmerioo]

She has a video called "how to be productive as an ENFP without wanting to die" or something like that which might help. 🙂

[@dawidsagan]

It was so deep, especially a part about living in this version of life like there's no other version. ❤️

[@amandac3362]

Im so happy that i live in a time and reality where i have access to watchign your videos and hearing you speak etc bc im an enfp and i often feel and think im the only person like this in the world and am so happy i discovered you years ago feom your blog --book and now youtube channel --bc you get me/it and relate in a way no one has ever expressed to me and you help me understand and better support myself and release the shame of feeling like there's something wrong with me bc others dont get why im different and have treated me like im malfunctioning--i love the acceptance and celebration for and calling out who ee are and how ee are --and knowing that there are other enfps in the world who share my heart mind and soul like this--is a huge gap void in myself and my life and it gets filled when i read your articles booms and esp in videos like this--things weve been conditioned to feel leas than and dumb immature or problematic for etc and embarassed about etc to have these problems as adults --im thankful i live in a time where i have the internet and can hear you speak on this and help me meet and understand and celebrate my needs and not fwel embarassed confused or ashamed by them... so thanks for makign and sharing all this-- countless people around the world are gaining more mental and emotional stability and betger caring for themselves etc and just gaining so much from this ❤❤❤❤

[@davehasenford3985]

I asked my sister once, "Do you think people who say they have no regrets about the past actually have no regrets or are just bluffing?" She replied, "Well, I don't ever think about the past because I only think about things I have control over, and one thing I have control over is my decision not to think about the past." Blew my mind and changed me ever since.

[@davidfreeman3083]

I don't know. But if I could turn back the clock, I think there actually would be a gazillion things that I would like to change. However, whatever happened, happened. And sometimes we might just get to appreciate the unexpected consequences (which a lot of times turn out to be good, actually) that comes with things not going exactly as we planned...

[@SeelenTaucher]

Dear Heidi, catch the time you need to recover and heal, take care. 🙏🏻💖☺️ And thanks for communicating with us.

[@sincerelylavie9960]

i am so grateful for you! Firstly i hope you make a speedy recovery. This video is so timey, i struggle with making a decision and sticking to it, i always feel like am just running around trying to change it because its maybe the wrong one looool

[@Capsicem]

Bloody brilliant! Thank you and get well soon Heidi

[@buttermilk_jesus6711]

SLAYYYYYYYYYY so happy you are back! You have been missed. I like this idea: the best thing about us is our ability to fuck around and find out. WOOOOO. This is encouraging. #fafo

[@sebastiendeloumeaux7372]

Hi Heidi, thanks so much for your insights. I'm 38 but I feel like I have most of the issues of immature ENFPs since I didn't allow myself to explore when I was younger. I have just found out about my personnality a few months ago and I was so ashamed of my indeciseveness as an FP that my first goal was to change personnality and become an FJ. Now that I have found you and learned about attachement styles and toxic shame I'm learning to embrace who I am and be compassionate with myself. It's painful and hard. Your videos and your book are so much help. You allow me to see what's in my blind spots and you normalize and make sense of stuff in my life I was ashamed of and repressed. Your work is changing my life for the better and I'm so grateful to you. ❤

[@yumiitomusic]

committing to staying present even though you think you've made a "wrong" decision or imagining it could be so much better in a different reality...💜 committing to that decision for a while and making the best of it. thank you for that amazing advice :-) enfp here, having difficulties with the smallest decisions and changing my mind all the time when not made proper decisions with "trying out"first!! your videos are so helpful :)

[@lauraroccaro5880]

You have no idea of THE AMOUNT OF MENTAL PAIN you have just relieved me from. I needed a formula, but most importantly, I needed THE BEST formula that works BEST FOR ME (Enfp/Infp). Gosh, Thankkkkkk youuuuuuuuu YOU ARE A SAVIOR

[@riamendoza4408]

Take ur time healing heidiiii hope u get well soon. Thank you once again for this video. Ive already chosen a path in my life, and made the decision id go through it (after watching your former videos) and my decisions are justified through this content. Surely, there'd be some regrets. But we have to stand to be accountable whatever decision we made, and do our best. Because who knows, maybe that's the best path for you. Before i stepped into senior high school, i decided to choose a humanities strand, then i was encouraged to choose a science and technology strand since people wants me to become an engineer (it is believed to be the quickest ladder for success which i now realized a bs perception), so i chose the science track instead. I hate math, physics, and chemistry ever since, but i strived hard to understand it. And i excel at it somehow. It felt as if it was a karma, because i did not pursue what i really wanted, which is TOTALLY THE TEENAGER IN THIS VIDEO HAHA. The grass is greener, but im in a different green field and i just have to water it. And i am glad that i somehow did my best to learn in the science field. BS Psychology is a science field, and that i figured out that being scientific in this field lessens the guesswork of psychology in general. And i think it is fascinating that what i regretted before actually found a way to make sense in the current stage of my life. I am not going to be an engineer. I am planning to be a psychologist. Psych is thought to be learned best in humanities, but is also super fit if you are in the science strand. And i am grateful of the decision i regretted for two years. Sometimes life just give you lemons even if you just wanted to make an orange juice, but it's still a drink thatd make you healthy. We have to be grateful to every decision (even if we regret it a lot) because the future is not absolute and perhaps the decision we made is actually the best path. Thank you heidi for this wonderful content! I loved how you used the word "humongous"

[@melissajohnston4851]

Love your comment! Reminds me of the late great Dr. WAYNE DYER! Love Heidi too!!

[@user-fp3tk4td1c]

Thank you. There's something that I've been feeling I've been needing to do for years. I've been putting it off but now I think I'm finally ready to do it. Because I know how I feel.

[@angellombness4371]

Lovely to hear - Heidi cut loose a little. Learning how to be proud of decisions made w NeFi. 💜

[@stephaniedodt2389]

You deserve a medal for pulling it together to do this video with Covid! Talk about motivation!

[@cory99998]

For me its a metric of how much of my life I fear will be spent regretting not doing the thing. When it came down to transitioning mtf I essentially would cry every time I thought about being on my deathbed after living a life as a man, never knowing if things could be better. And I gotta say, it was so hard spending like 5-6 months transitioning and feeling doubt often until finally the scale flipped and I realized that this made me feel really good and excited about the future. Now the doubts dont carry much weight and I feel pretty dang good

[@thetrickster6371]

That's awesome. I'm happy for you. Hope I can feel that sense of peace with my choices one day lol

[@cory99998]

@@thetrickster6371 if you keep trying you will, it takes time though

[@2016wwang]

[3:52] "Our skillset lies in our ability to fuck around and find out" 😂😭 [4:08] If you are not giving yourself the opportunity to expose yourself to as many different possibilities as you can (within the range of whatever it is you're trying to make a decision about), you are robbing yourself of the ability to make a good decision. [5:40] This is the most important part of your decision making process: trying things on, and seeing what resonates. ... Giving yourself time to reflect on and integrate those experiences, until you can look back and discern which one you feel more drawn to. It becomes easy to make a decision because you're feeling *pulled* toward something and follow that energy. [11:55] When we get caught in loops of "what could have been" in another universe, it's because we're trying to avoid what's happening in this universe/reality. It is easy to take ourselves away from our current reality by spending all of our time imagining "if only I'd done something different then everything would be problem-free." It's harder but a lot more rewarding to look at what actually is - what pain, grief, or challenge we're facing in our real-life environment - and choose to stay there and to work through it in real-time. That's how we start forming resilience, self-accountability, and self-trust. When deciding that no matter what decision we make, even if it's the wrong one, we will not self-abandon mid-way. We will show up for ourselves, fully and completely, inside of that decision. [13:30] There is not a single decision you can make in life that will redeem your life forever. There is no giant sweeping redemption arc that is coming. Real change happens in a series of tiny choices we make over and over in different areas of our lives, over a long period of time. For young NFs, every decision looks like 2 doors: behind one, an idealistic redemption fantasy. And behind the other, is hell. NO. That is not how it works. Behind door 1, is some pros & cons. Behind door 2, is some pros & cons. [15:15] Committing to whatever decision you have made. And that doesn't mean following it to the depths of hell if it makes you unhappy. But rather committing to staying *present* with whatever you have chosen. And not mentally/emotionally jumping ship as soon as something comes up that you don't like. But staying in the moments that feel uncomfortable or difficult and choosing to make the best of those situations, even if you don't want to be in them while they're happening. [15:50] Convincing yourself [this is it], and making the most of it.

[@amandalee2930]

I'm definitely going through so many of those same changes right now & I was just thinking that I might be maturing, but now I know I am! You confirmed it. Thanks Heidi❤

[@MDanimations44]

Awesome video Heidi, great to see you! Sometimes its hard to tell if Fi is trying to hijack me or protect me, but thankfully through your content I can see what it's trying to do in real time and I immediately call it out. I actually have conversations with it out loud to let it know I can see what it's trying to do. The more I call it out the more I stay in the present and things just work out well! I hope you feel better soon 🙏💙💫

[@GlobalResonanceDance]

@2:18 OMG I thought only I do that! I must not know enough FPs. This video makes me so grateful for the ISTP in my life. He really helps me practice all that you suggest!

[@tessallations378]

Lovely video. I feel a lot of regret for going against my energy and pull for most of my twenties - it's just always a bad idea that has made me feel so depressed over the years. It's then so tricky not to ruminate about the life I could've had if I had just followed my energy! (yes lol, it's a life free of any bad things and I'm loved by everyone and having a creative, splendid life).

[@Freyr94]

same here. How did you deal with it?

[@tessallations378]

@@Freyr94 hello! I've been finding Katie Byron's work helpful, who asks four questions for every stressful thought. So when I think "I wish I had done this in my life" the questions are "is it true?, is it absolutely true, how do you behave when you believe that thought, can you think of a reason to hold on to that thought?" So with the thought: I wish I had followed my energy when I was younger Question: is it true? Me: Yes Question: is it absolutely true? Me: Well, I don't know. Who knows where that other path would've gone, and the path I did take led me here which isn't too bad Question: how do you behave when you believe that thought that you didn't follow your energy? Me: I behave ashamed, and I feel quite small, I feel a tightening in my chest full of regret Question: can you think of any reason to hold onto the thought? Me: I feel like if I hold onto the thought, it will help push me towards what I'm meant to be doing Question: is that true? Me: No, it's not true. I have never found shaming an effective way to push me forward So I distance myself from the thoughts, and see them as just thoughts, and settle as best as I can into reality which is the present moment. I've been finding it helpful! I may move on to something else in the near future, but for right now I am enjoying this process.

[@focused40]

16:05 This was the blessing of those video. thank you so much for this advice for the end of this video it is exactly what I needed to hear! I'm going to take your course because of this video!

[@SethWilson]

Your new attachment videos are great but I’m discovering your XNFP videos and they are literally changing my life. Thank you!

[@hdshjs]

Off top: you look very youthful and absolutely cute in those dark hair. Nth wrong with having light complexion, quite the opposite. Btw I hope you'll feel better soon, but it doesn't show as much in the video. This is great content as always. Very insightful and accurate: "There is no giant sweeping redemption arc for your life that is coming. Real change comes in a serious of tiny choices and we make over and over again". I love that, this is so mature and wholesome summary. I'm so happy I found your channel!

[@klaudiamanko2115]

Heidi thank you for your videos! 💝 When I discovered your channel something changed, and I realized how I can solve my enfp thinking struggles! I adore your content and coming back to watch my favourites 😍 Thank you so much for your work!💖 Keep safe!💝

[@aditikulkarni8552]

i laughed out loud on reading the title. i need help making decisions and you are right on time hahahahah

[@brownsuga929]

I would really love to hear about INFJs. I recently found out I was one after 3 different test lol. I had to be sure. I wanted to hear Heidi speak on it because she has a incomparable way of breaking it down.

[@majamierzwinska5543]

After each of these videos I want to thank you so much. So thank you, this time for helping me stay in line in the moment I started to get very disorientated again. You da best:))

[@mareehutchin-coysh7312]

Learning so much from your channel… and I’m older than you… but going through a huge learning and growing phase after my Marriage ended

[@SpeedRunningStartups]

i love you so much. youre so strong and ahead of me in life and also so relatable and tell me all the things i want/need to hear

[@ChrisIanThompson]

I cried because this was so applicable to my situation right now.

[@Sennith]

Thank you. I am at a point in my life where I needed to hear this. Thank you so much.

[@roverefrancois6906]

Thank you from France Heidi! Hope you recover from Covid quickly!

[@KCdeeya]

Whaaaat I was just thinking about how I need help making decisions yesterday, you’ve totally read my mind!!

[@erinb9647]

Just began the video and already agree 100%. Every single time. ENFP life. 😆😆

[@SpeedRunningStartups]

"You're going to pay a price for everything you do and everything you don't do. You don't get to choose not to pay a price. You get to choose which poison you're going to take. Thats it." Jordan Peterson

[@SpeedRunningStartups]

he posted this to his twitter like a month ago and its been helping me ever since, just like that other quote you said has been helping you

[@mallorymaymay]

Oh my God, that resonated with me so much. Thank you Heidi

[@hehashivemind6111]

Full body euphoria is something I've only felt once, shit is wild. It was when I sat down to draw my comic for the first time at a drafting table I had just bought along with a bunch of other planning leading up to it

[@allisonlargo7605]

Every path has problems and it can be hard to see which ones will creep up - so true! I have such a hard time with this in my marriage anytime it gets hard and can imagine all the beautiful reasons to be single again - but I hated being single! 😂

[@elliotvelez1064]

Lmao a fucking field day . 👍🏼 awesome video . Thanks 🙏🏼

[@loradow5543]

Welcome back!

[@pyromatiker99]

ah yes, this is it; fkin love it✨ I hope you get better and all that🤙 thank you for existing

[@vemrith]

Get better! ❤️

[@RachelGerrard]

Heidi, I love this. You've given me an epiphany and I can't believe I didn't see it before. Try different options and see which feels good....why didn't I think of this when its so obvious now that that's what I have done in many different areas of my life??

[@joannk5259]

Great explanation of the perceiving function.

[@taffy5728]

Your videos come at the perfect time!

[@mariamsamir9049]

I really love you 🥰 thank you for always making my life easier

[@valbonariver]

Favorite video. Breathe if fresh air

[@tatyanab.6797]

yeah, but which pros and cons are better for you - that's the question 😁 thank you for the video, Heidi! get better asap

[@lachesislooms9233]

Yes! This is very much how I make difficult decisions.

[@bethanycreativeside4326]

Thank you!!! I going to try the white board 😅😊❤❤❤

[@abdelrahmanshaaban4184]

that Helped me a lot Keep going, u are amazing !

[@ellier2018]

We need a part 2

[@ENFPerspectives]

9:40 The good news is, you can work on your Si and learn to make decisions for yourself. The bad news is, there are problems down every single path you take. I’m surprised you didn’t ave that bit of news for the very end. 🤣

[@vazzaroth]

"There is no one decision that will redeem your entire life" Reminds me of the quote I love most about the human expereince (From the Civilization video game, who the hell knows who really said it and tbh it doesn't matter) "If the Human Brain Were So Simple That We Could Understand It, We Would Be So Simple That We Couldn’t" If our life could be turned on a single decision, the stress of that decision would destroy us every time. So stop acting like that's true! It's a horrible reality you don't want!

[@costicle123]

Hi. I’ve watched quite a few of your videos now, I feel like it’s changed my life, but I don’t have the bloody remotest idea what to do, I have no money and no people I can talk to. Suggestions gratefully received.

[@tulip5210]

I really needed this right now thank you ❤️

[@samdung5630]

Great great video!!!

[@lauraroccaro5880]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

[@angelaroloff118]

You are amazing ❤️

[@annafedorova_sf]

This is amazing info, so helpful - thank you!

[@vizzottoduarte]

Great vídeo, thank you!

[@Yhann-OGousse]

This video change my life

[@M4TCH3SM4L0N3]

I dunno - I've always tested as an INFP/ENFP, and I have 100% always struggled with trying to make decisions, BUT I almost never have felt like choosing differently would have been better than what I chose, if only because I would be afraid of losing the things about my current life if I did. For example, I think that I made the "wrong" decision about the college I attended, and I KNOW that I made the wrong decision about who to date in my final year, but I am SO glad that I did both, because that heartbreak led to meeting the woman I'm now married to today.

[@erinb9647]

It is a fantastic idea!! (At the end)

[@ashleyching7894]

Trust in your nervous system’s resonance.

[@fahadkhalid3822]

You are better than therapist or coach life for enfps

[@victorcarranza2071]

I love your videos! Your're are helping me too much by giving me light about how I actually feel, in this case I am studying computer science but honestly I did it just for the money and now I kind want to change and study publics relations but if I say that to my father probably he is going to stop to support me and that profession is no that well paid as C.S but I is kind boren for me.. and well I've been ruminate again if I made a good decision...

[@Duck-fy6xn]

Really really really thanks.

[@dezblackwell5648]

I hv saved this video bc @ this moment 2 jobs wanna hire me & i cant mk a decision bc i resonate & can adapt 2 both. I need 2 mk this simpler bc my desparation 4 a job is becoming overwhelming & its frustrating that a decision must b made n order 4 bills 2b paid but im not doin anythin. Arrrggghhh. Adulting is effin hard!

[@cittananda5272]

this is what i fckin need 🔥❤️

[@ellier2018]

Being aware in the present, sounds like extraverted Sensing! Extraverted intuitives can learn a lot from their demon function

[@anitayougotit]

Thaaaank you! That with the White Board sounds like a great thing to do! Heidi, you mentioned it, but I still wanted to ask you. Do you still recommend your soulbootcamp for ENFP? You run in for a longer time and I imagine that you learned so much more over time. Is there nothing you would change about the bootcamp or update it or so?

[@ioanageorgia5799]

We definitely have to believe in reincarnation. Every time we'll take a different path to see how it makes us feel.

[@anno5778]

i live dt toronto too,. pay 8k a month. hate it here too,. thinking of going to LA, im in the find myself stay,

[@Freyr94]

Has anyone figured out how to actually make a decision? Trying different things out has left me everywhere and nowhere, because most of the time you cant control life and options represent themselve as unique in a specific date and time. Not every decision can be coursecourrected and once a decision is made it often times is very hard to stop that snowball from getting bigger and bigger.

[@malek6610]

So I'm going to write what I struggle with as an Enfp ... that maybe you can make a video about them ... 1. Caring about others. I really want to learn how to stop. Because it is affecting me heavily. The way I deal with it currently is by telling myself that I can only help them if i am taking care of myself first. 2. Studying. It would be really helpful to have organization and work-related tips. Like, what is the best way for us to approach work? 3. Overthinking. At times, I defeat it. Other times it beats the shit out of me 😭💔😂 Others will follow later ... If you have talked about any of these points please ignore my comment

[@user-fp3tk4td1c]

Highly recommend the video about procrastination regarding point 2

[@justing1810]

She is having a ducking field day 😂

[@quangminhvo6830]

sooo helpful! love from vietnam

[@kyselinaaa]

Thank youuuuu ❤️

[@mouserun8800]

U look good. Don't worry.

[@anitayougotit]

Hmmmm. I'm just thinking if I stopped making experiences for .. many reasons. I mean when it comes to work. I just believe so much in not being employed by someone. But somehow I am curious to try again. But also I feel like because I did so many different things already I am not so attractive for employers because I'm not specified in one field. hm hm hm. thank you for that!

[@A_Fairy007]

This is so real

[@crowley144]

Well this is great

[@vazzaroth]

Wait is that why I have Ti dominant, because I have never heard of this concept of "not letting yourself think about" anything??? And to be clear, this is the recipe for overthinking, rumination, and depression when left unchecked. See any INTP communities for examples.

[@pugninja7037]

I'm a entp and if I don't feel its right I will battle with it,I try the experience and go with the feeling .. tho I battle the logic..its become easier as time goes on. But if u asked me what I value in priority in my life I've no idea . Even if I think about it. But if I'm with a XNFP they help me bring out my fi..

[@frankieloves7078]

Sent this to my ESFP bestie and we were like ah yes!

[@95turbogirl1980]

I personally love the title! I'd have to include f**k in every title if I created videos, which I considered doing to teach methods and techniques to make basic dog groomers the best professional canine stylist in their area, until I remembered I hate the sound of my own voice and don't particularly love public speaking. But if I were to overcome those things, my videos would come with warnings due to strong language lol. I sprinkle F bombs in every type of conversation and I'm so grateful my clients don't find it offensive!

[@CondredgeDole]

Great Fucking video Heidi! Thanks! (also, oh yeah, that IS fun to swear... haha!)

[@laiela5939]

so i am deciding my medical speciality and i am spiraling so please help me out here.

[@simply_sophia]

I’m 5 years out of college which is when I took the test and was an ESTJ but this sounds more like me

[@Lifescapers]

Wise.

[@TheGardenMother]

(Heidi)So if you really want to make better decisions as an ENFP... Then become an INTJ (my husband) the guy is a genius lol

[@anno5778]

people dont understand this lprocess to the point i just tell them top stfu and never share therm my excitement again. usually they will insult me by saying to lay off the drugs while sober