HELP! How do I have this AWKWARD conversation??!

[@orielwiggins2225]

Oh my goodness, what a fantastic question, and well done answering it sensitively and with lots of thoughtfulness. Thanks for featuring these important issues. Fun outro music! Love it. To Matthew, I'm so glad you care enough about how you bring it up, that says a lot about you AND how much you value the guy and the relationship. If you lean into that as you approach him, and communicate that consideration and sensitivity, even if you do it light heartedly, I imagine it would be well received. Can't wait to read all the comments and suggestions!

[@martindowling1401]

It's douching

[@patricksullivan7491]

I love how you look at each other while the other one is speaking. To me the word that comes to mind is besotted. You are both great dads. Yes Joel I mean you. 😊😊👍👍

[@jeangenie1240]

There is a wealth of step-by-step info and how-to stuff on you tube. You handled that really well, btw.

[@TimCT1]

When I used to work at a book distributor, we carried a book "Anal Pleasure and Health". It sold pretty well, to chain bookstore (Barnes & Noble) and independent bookstores. Hope this helps.

[@ralphcherry617]

For what it's worth: I came out at 21, never having had any kind of relationship with anyone, basically unaware of affect my on others, except that gay guys found me attractive. Soon after coming out, I met my first long-term, live-in boyfriend. He was a couple of years younger, but rudimentarily more experienced than I was. When it came to sex (and it came FAST!!! LOL) we simply devoured each other, and in so doing taught each other the basics of good sex, all the while doing things that neither of us had ever done before, but no questions were asked, and no explaining felt necessary. Literally, it was all just natural. As to hygiene: I was naive in that area. My boyfriend was better at it. All he did to teach me was a) remind me how sexy I was, and b) teach me by his example. I had never contemplated showering every day. (I bathed, in a bath tub, a few times a week.) Boyfriend did shower every day, and he always looked good. He wanted me to look good, so I learned that lesson quickly. And he taught me how to dress, so that I would make good arm candy. We were in a committed relationship and we truly cared for each other, so these "lessons" were simply part of it all. If there is mutual respect and a commitment to the relationship, these basic lessons should be fun and mutually enjoyable. (As to the "messier" parts of sex: again, no questions asked, and no embarrassment. We accepted all that as just a natural part of sex.)

[@lilly6766]

You two are sweethearts! ❤❤

[@angelpajarillo]

Once again a brilliant topic that needs this kind of conversation . You both handled it so well so honestly and pragmatic at the same time 🙌🏻

[@Jeffh206]

Gay men and hygiene is actually a good topic to have. I love I listen to your content guys. Thank you very much for your advice on the subject in.❤

[@happyhealthyhomo]

You're welcome, thanks for watching!

[@neilericksson6989]

Just discovered this channel. It’s really good. Thanks for good advice.

[@chriscansdale6389]

Well answered guys.. very thoughtfully done..

[@daniellerichard1385]

beautiful humans! hello from Melbourne x

[@jamesbow5916]

Good response. I think talking about your own experiences and asking open ended questions are always an easy way to have any difficult conversation. More specifically, I'm always amazed more gay guys don't know how valuable taking Metamucil every day can make their lives so much easier!

[@thomasyenner2499]

Guys, it’s called “douching”. Are you not allowed to use that term?

[@targetedplantsguy9481]

You never know KZbin is terrible about demonetizing for certain words and if those words don't match your platform.

[@Harry-fk5of]

Thanks, I just looked it up. I couldn't figure out what they were talking about or what 'mishap' they meant haha

[@horabeles]

😂👍🏼

[@davidsanderson4442]

On KZbin? Of course they can’t.

[@cliffm6566]

They’re British lol.

[@candidolopez1131]

Crazy - but I've seen it happen before with a friend...Is he even interested in having intercourse with a same sex partner. Maybe every other part of the relationship is what he's enjoys and needs - cuddling, spending time with each other, ect. Can you handle a relationship like that...of course many men would definitely say no - but like I said a friend had a similar situation...he moved on. I hope that's not the situation. Maybe he just needs a little more time. Great advise from the guys!

[@Harry-fk5of]

Is it crazy though? I wonder how many guys actually want to have intercourse with a man vs want everything else in a relationship apart from that. And how much of it is societal pressure vs instinct.

[@danielintheantipodes6741]

There a book called How to Bottom Like a Porn Star. Despite the racy title, it is very much an information book, not salacious at all. Worth looking at. Thank you for the video!

[@Dragonmoon1598]

KZbin, health sights that focus on this, etc . . . The internet has a number of education options . . . Make sure it's a trusted source, however. In the case of backdoor cleaning, I've seen/heard both good and bad advice. So make sure that you don't just go with the first thing you find. Make sure the advice/information is accurate, safe, and informative. Also, in addition to preping, especially being his first time with a same-sex partner. Have a conversation around expectations, turn-offs, turn-ons, boundaries. It's amazing how many people have preconceived notions around sex based on what is seen through media platforms.

[@lee9650]

As a gay guy who has never been in a relationship and is 0 "gay years old" haha I am lost trying to follow this question😂😂 but if it was me I would rather just be told before hand instead of learning from "mishaps". Especially if the guy was to explain "away from the bed room" in an educational type of way, like maybe over a coffee or dinner because then it's all hypothetical as appose to feeling like you are being directly criticised haha. P.S what is "prepping" are you referring to taking PREP or something else?

[@ChrisHaggart]

Hey guys. Love you guys. Do you or anyone who is looking at comments have someone you might be able to point me to who has had to deal with accepting they were gay later in life? I grew up in a household where I basically found myself in a situation where I was gaslighting myself that I wasn't gay for a long time. I have had the time and therapy now to realize that I was doing this threw most of my 20's. I am now in my late 20's and fully accepted that I am gay. But now I don't know where to really start .....

[@Halfscotboy_39]

Hi Joel & Keegan, I was forced out by my youngest sister as she kept bullying me into saying that I liked a guy from a certain bubblegum pop band that are modernized pop band now. It was embarrassing at the time and on my 27th when I told her I'd really like to see my absolute favorite band of all time, i got sooo fed up with her needling me about my sexuality that I finally gave in and told her YES (L) I DO LIKE GUYS AND THE GUY FROM MY FAVORITE BAND BUT IT WASNT THE BLOND HAIRED GUY THAT I LIKED IT WAS THE DARK HAIRD GUY WHO IS MARRIED WITH A KID SINCE 2015...I THINK?? anyway soz stresses me talking about some ex "family" members who I haven't seen in 4 years since my aunt died of breast cancer. My sisters husband embarrassingly and drunkenly outed me by talking about it loud at his own daughters 10th birthday party in there house in scotland. 🎉🎈🎁 what a lovely present he gave my niece to hear at the time...I think not! (with all sarcasm) 😒 As they say ' There's a time and a place for everything' THAT WAS CERTAINLY NOT IT!!!! my aunt and uncle were there and she was shocked what was said because she was very old fashioned and believed in "traditional" relationship values. 🙄🤦 A long while after that i lost touch but then when my sister used my niece to get me to go round, as she said my niece was missing me...uh uh that must of been a lie because my niece didn't always like me because I wasn't too bright at saying things at times and would be encouraged by her other uncle (ex brother) who has got kids of his own btw. He used to encourage her to take the p*** out of me calling me homophobic words infront of her, but my sister would tell him to stop saying those words around her (not to defend me) 😤 I have a lot of resentment for these people who live not far enough away but far enough that I don't have to see them too often. My father is sort of supportive but can have what i think is a laugh n joke calling me "BROKEN BOY" har de har har! 🙄😒 though he says he only means it in jest but sometimes I don't know with him. Anyway byefornow and as I've droned on for scotland 😂 take care guys and please if you can change the title. I mean you don't have to because its your channel but its such a derogatory term still to this day?...just had a great idea for a title which is for me anyway better 'Two Gay Guys and a Podcast.

[@arnpguy]

As a 45 yr old gay man, when I came out in the 90s it was the older gay community members that acted as educators to new gays. I feel the rise of social media, and the erasure of in-person hangout spots, the roles of the gay elders has been 86ed, maybe.

[@happyhealthyhomo]

Very true, and the loss of that knowledge is detrimental.

[@horabeles]

As a gay couple, we talk openly with our son about personal hygiene. keep all body openings clean. 🙈🙉🙊, 🌴, 🍑 ! 😂😂

[@bobtuckey2409]

I learned a lot about gay sex from the book “The Joy of Gay Sex”. And also from my partners.

[@david-stevenmorris.4418]

[I have a terrible cough. Joel, wish you were here cooking me Chicken Soup.]

[@Jeffh206]

❤❤❤😂😂

[@newworldlove7031]

I found all this gay s3x cult knowledge out at the later years of 47!! My then boyfriend had a lot in common with a horse!! IF I did take care of business down stairs then it was a real nightmare of a mess!! I can't even remember how I learnt it from! Maybe utube!

[@dubon9999]

Greetings my dear Gay mates ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@1hairy]

You’re pussy footing around fellas that makes it even more awkward discussing the preparation with someone new to it. Douching is the word for the preparation you have to go through. It’s not sleazy or dirty to talk like an adult about preparation needed or any other sex hygiene issues. Talking about it and using every day language normalises the process and removes any perception of stigma or shame.

[@dawnevans157]

Some words KZbin doesn't let content creators say.

[@lee9650]

Douching? You mean spraying your bottom with water after using the loo? Don't people do that anyway?

[@dawnevans157]

@@lee9650 yes douching KZbin might penalise them for using that word.

[@1hairy]

@@dawnevans157 I didn’t know that thanks for the info. How ridiculous though not to be allowed to use the correct terminology.

[@dawnevans157]

@@1hairy KZbin is very weird on what they allow people to say.

[@EdwinJohnson-wi9yu]

Maybe they should shower together if they haven't done that already while Mathew is prepping. Or maybe he should prep in front of him.

[@scottweaverphotovideo]

Joel's arms are bigger now than Keegan's, but not as hairy. 😅

[@romaneros4583]

No, Joel's left arm is closer to the camera, giving the illusion it's bigger than it actually is.

[@mikiewifnoe360]

I think at the age of 40 one should be able to talk about anything. Since this guy said, his date is unaware of sex. A mishap, what is that? I assume this person, the question asker, has had sex. I would suggest that after six months, he buck up and simply start the conversation. And if the nonsex guy takes it badly, it is good to know now and find a new person. Pussyfooting around is a waste of energy. Sex is a part of life and nothing to be awkward about.

[@ED-zc2um]

Guys, I have always appreciated your straight and candid advice, but in this occasion, I am really surprised that you have essentially ’skirted’ around the topic for which advice is being sought. We’re talking shite on the mattress during sex here…… douching etc…… this needs to be simply said! More authentic response would be more in line with your typical advice.

[@ED-zc2um]

Sound measured advice as always….