Helping my mom with dementia by facing my fears

[@MarianKelly-ss4wg]

I think we are all rooting for you

[@TopazLucille]

Hi Shannon! For all of us insecure people out here, I applaud your courage in becoming a youtuber and sharing your fears. I’m hopeful that by making these videos, you bolster your self confidence to deal with phone calls and other scary aspects of life. I personally can’t imagine doing regular videos and would rather make a phone call. The journey of a caregiver is daunting but there are so many folks sharing their stories/experiences on youtube that it’s got to be a gift for others going through the same thing. Stay strong and realize you are not alone.

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you. I still am a deer in headlights with this right now but my new strategy is to try and forget you guys when I start talking about my deepest thoughts. I've run out of ideas to get myself out of my current mental paralysis I have boxed myself into so I thought, "Why not public shaming?" lol We shall see. I don't trust myself at all.

[@geraldinecurry7148]

You should be so proud of 🎉yourself. Another big weight lifted off you. ❤best of luck. From Ireland. Love &blessings xx

[@lesliedelp3565]

God bless you! I am taking care of my mom who is 86 years old and suffers from dementia. I am a retired therapist and still it is difficult for me. Your phobia is real but also very treatable. I wish you well and my prayer for you would be to find a good therapist who can easily help you get that control! I enjoy your transparency about your life challenges!🥰

[@ginawhittaker2585]

My mom had Alzheimer’s disease, she was never diagnosed but had all the symptoms. She lived alone in an apartment about 5 minutes away. At the time I wasn’t working but I had a lot going on and couldn’t be there all the time. I would go over in the morning and than if she needed me she would call. When you were talking about your mom forgetting how to turn on the tv I could relate, when that happened things just started to get progressively worse. I knew she needed someone with her most of the day, so I called Area on the Aging and told them the situation and they really gave me a lot of information and I was able to get her some help, but not 24/7 which is what she really needed. Eventually she had to go into a nursing home because things got really bad and I was the only one taking care of her and it was just way too much she also had a trach and feeding tube so she needed to be where their were nurses ect. But I would call them and see what they say, also I don’t know her financial situation but if she doesn’t have a lot of money she could apply for Medicaid, that would help out a lot. Hope this helps, when I was taking care of my mom I felt so alone thank god for a friend of hers who helped me out a lot. And I found the more I made phone calls to her doctors ect. the easier it got. Good luck with everything.

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you, Gina, for everything. Actually, I just got in touch with someone who was able to give me a ton of information that I need to sift through in the coming days. Right now, I am just trying to find someone to basically keep an eye on her for 4 hours a day. So, hopefully I can find a financially viable option. I'm overwhelming but forging ahead lol. I sure hope you are doing well.

[@barbaritaangelalucero1067]

Please don't cry, your fine, But it all in God's hands, the battle belongs to him. . My prayers, and thank you for sharing, your very brave to do this, I look forward ,

[@vbrandon1858]

Hello. I was my dads caretaker for 8 years he had pics dementia. So I understand your pain. Praying 🙏 for you ❤

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you so much!

[@EllieSparkleSeed]

I just typed into the search~ my mom keeps losing her bank card and your video popped up. I relate to so much of what you are saying.. I've been watching videos about overcoming fear. I'm rooting for YOU! I have phone phobia too. I'm seriously rooting for YOU. It's trippy how the algorithm works. I have a LOT of fears, but the phone phobia thing is REAL! Glad your video popped up in my search. I do weird shit that my boyfriend, now husband used to trip out on too, like skip over shopping at shops Im not familiar with. I also like the name of your channel- MelloKitty vibes. PS he's been my boyfriend for 7 and a half years and we just got married on Jan 1st~ so I gotta get used to writing husband. Mom called a few minutes ago telling me she lost her bank card again. She just replaced her last one the week before. My mind is like~ wtf.??

[@mellokittyvibes]

Yea, I am at a point in my life where I just need to figure myself out and start working around my bs. So tired of it. Kinda funny how the algorithm paired us up. I feel like it's been keying in on me in recent weeks as well. Feeding more quirky channels. Anyway, thank you for confirming I am not alone. I truly needed that from others. Congrats on your marriage too. We keep saying that we are going to get it done but then put it off another year, ugh.

[@jennyz356]

I relate to you a lot, I also can't order at the drive thru and phone calls are so incredibly hard for me. Thanks for sharing your life with us! Stay strong you're doing an amazing job!

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you and thank you so much for telling me that. As I am sure you know, it feels great when you finally find out the things you have been ashamed of your whole life turn out to be a common problem. It almost makes it easier. Take care!

[@Iggles88]

Proud of you for starting this channel!! ❤

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you! I'm terrified lol

[@Brushy555]

Greetings from Gardner, KS! I am a new subscriber. I'm in the same boat. Caring for my elderly father with dementia and working FT. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. So yes, I relate to you and I'm routing for you too! One tip: I keep an annual planner just dedicated to his medical stuff. I document things as they happen because there is too much to remember & its easy to pull it out during appointments to refer to. Wishing the best for you & your mom! Maria

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you, Maria. You are awesome and I think I might take you up on your idea. I wish you and your dad the best.

[@briannahaggerty783]

Thank you for sharing such vulnerability with us. So many people resonate with this. I don't even know how your video came up on my KZbin page. I'm an OT, hospice volunteer and elderly companion who provides workshops to family caregivers, along with providing National, State, and community resources for family caregiver support. I give them free of charge at memory cafes and churches in my area (Cleveland OH). If you don't mind me asking, where are you located? I could send you dementia and caregiver resources. All of humanity is our community and we need to care for each other 💝

[@mellokittyvibes]

It's a relief to see your message. I am located in northern Illinois. Thanks so much for reaching out!

[@briannahaggerty783]

@@mellokittyvibes Oh my gosh, I'm originally from Freeport! Still have family in the Quad Cities!

[@GdHr-oz5ph]

You may be afraid of phone calls but I hope you realize how significant it is to start a freaking KZbin channel! And you're doing so well with this! 💗💐🌸🌞🌞✨️💫🌻💝

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you! I'm terrified most of the time but so far I am glad I did it :)

[@marywells9162]

Take the little wins. Be proud of every accomplishment. I know how you feel. Even working full time my husband used to tease me about my little money I made etc. Now we are in a better place. When we don’t let other people bring us down it is easier to rise, I think.you are doing great. Little steps can get you to the same destination if you keep going, one step at a time. I write down every question or comment I need to say and leave spaces between each to jot notes from replies before I make a phone call. I know how you feel. Have a great day!

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you! Yes, little steps. Sometimes they are tiny but at least it's *something*

[@okallie]

Good job!

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thanks!

[@Naturally_2]

New Sub here 🫶🏽… Thanks for sharing your story. Life comes with no manual at all be who you are and do what you can…Dementia is hard to see in a love one. Lean on The Lord’s Prayer.. ❤❤

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you and you are welcome. I just want to come out of this knowing I did the right thing.

[@cindee1794]

Good for you, making that dreaded phone call! But then having to wait for a return call probably just escalates your nervousness about the whole thing. I can't imagine living with such anxiety about anything, but who knows if that won't happen to me at some point? I am an only child and my mother just turned 89, so everything for her is up to me. She is mostly in good physical and mental health, but she doesn't drive anymore and I had to take over paying her bills because she would just put them on the table and ignore them. She doesn't live with me, yet, but that may be coming before long since she now has macular degeneration. Just keep moving forward, Shannon. You are doing the best you can and that's all you can do. At least now you are developing a community to help you through some of it.

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank you for those encouraging words, sincerely. Believe it or not, just getting past that initial hurdle of making the call kinda removes the anxiety, for the most part. The return call won't be so bad, thankfully. I wish both you and your mom well.

[@NonaMaryGrace1952]

Hi Shanon, I don’t like making phone calls either. I took care of my mom too. I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers. My mom had dementia it is hard. I totally understand. 💕NonnaGrace🐓

[@mellokittyvibes]

Thank for telling me that. It does reassure me to know I am not alone in my quirky faults. It been a burden for too long.

[@barbaritaangelalucero1067]

I got your back .. ❤

[@brianqrcode1673]

I have a "fear" of making calls. By that I mean I don't feel panic as so much as I push it off. I wish I could just text these people. I like silence a lot and I don't want to be calling and put on hold and wait while the music plays. It gives me distress. I end up in a worse place because I put off calling. Even KZbin videos I watch, it is mostly late at night. Most of the day I read posts or books. I need a lot of silence.

[@candyorange266]

I’m in a very similar situation. Most of us don’t know what we’re doing. I sure don’t! I also have a sister that has a lot of resentment against our parents from childhood. As my parents declined and my dad developed dementia, her resentment got worse.

[@mellokittyvibes]

Same, I am going to go into more detail about my sister on Monday. After my dad passed and my mom slowly declined and needed more help, she increasingly resented her. But, to be fair, I wasn't helping much back then either. However, my sister kept thinking my mom was manipulating her and she still doesn't understand that it was the beginning of the dementia. Anyhow, I am so sorry you are stuck like me. I hope you are hanging in there.

[@wendypettie4846]

Feed her coconut 🥥 oil 2 spoonfuls a day it reals the brain and eliminates dementia. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

[@mellokittyvibes]

Sure, I'll give it a try. Thanks!

[@Bassmastr-ly5vf]

She looks like Kristen Wiig from Saturday Night Live

[@mellokittyvibes]

I do?

[@cosmiccountrygirl179]

I will join your channel if I actually see you do what you say - who watches your mom when your not at home - my Aunt almost burned her home down because of dementia and being left alone - so please if your mom is not supervised 24/7 then look into a nursing home placement for her safety and your own well being.

[@mellokittyvibes]

Yea, I don't have a lot of faith in me either. Anyway, I work 6 hours during the day and while I am gone my boyfriend is there. Thankfully, we work different hours. However, right now, and the ultimate point in this channel is not to entertain you but to help me get past this brain freeze I am suffering with and start figuring this mess out. And yes, that might be a nursing home.

[@lisaleidy344]

How supportive is your boyfriend regarding your mom? Will he be able to help you with some things regarding her care?

[@mellokittyvibes]

He is much more supportive than I was expecting him to be. In terms of helping me, it's mostly around the house type stuff, cooking & cleaning, yardwork and helping mom get her garden set up and tended, etc. As far as the doctor type stuff, it's as overwhelming for him as it is for me so I don't really expect his help in that arena. Just his ear when I complain about it, lol.