Co-sleeping... what no one tells you! Is co-sleeping safe?

COSLEEPING what no one tells you! Is co sleeping safe?
Hey Shayla Podcast | Ep: 037
Guest: @standing_so_tall Natalie an IBCLC (lactation consultant)
/ standing_so_tall
Most parents at some point will co sleep or bed share with their babies. This episode will help to ease your mind if you are worried if co sleeping is safe.
IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. There are some people who should NOT co sleep, we discuss that here/
Natalie has been bedsharing and room sharing with her kids for the past 8 years! She was my besharing guru when my first was born and I was so grateful for her knowledge! I hope this helps you in your journey!
Links:
Documentary: The Milky Way
amzn.to/3hJVTK2
Breastfeeding Sweatshirt: MamaTu on Etsy
rstyle.me/+GOY...
NATALIE20 gives you 20% off
Book: Sweet Sleep by La Leche League
amzn.to/3GmeQN3
Join her FREE weekly support group and meet other mamas reach out to Natalie and her partner for the zoom link here: / communitycarriagehouse
Thank you for listening to the Hey Shayla podcast! Here, we love to learn new things and decide what works for us and our family.. We're the moms that support instead of judge and know there are many ways to do something right. I'd love to connect on Instagram @heyshayla
Xo Shay
Join the email list to be notified when episodes go live HERE!
Companies I work with:
DISCOUNT CODE: HEYSHAYLA for all
*California Beach Co: Travel Playpen use HEYSHAYLA for discount
www.heyshayla....
*Expecting and Empowered: Pregnancy and Postpartum workouts use code HEYSHAYLA for discount
www.heyshayla....
*LoveBug Probiotics: Pre and postnatal probiotics
www.heyshayla....
*My Little Eaters: Guide to Baby Led Weaning
www.heyshayla....
*Kindred Bravely: Maternity Sports Bra
www.heyshayla....
*Clearly Filtered: Filtered water bottle pitcher
www.heyshayla....
*TushBaby: Great “Up-Down” Baby carrier
www.heyshayla....
*Iksplor: Wool base layer
www.heyshayla....
*weetalkers: Song and Story for quality screen time
www.heyshayla....

[@carathorsven3326]

As a mom who has co-slept with 3 babies breast feeding I think it's important to talk about how HARD on your back and shoulders

[@Holly-wm5gm]

Yes and the lower back. It’s hard.

[@reeyynnaa]

And hips! 😩

[@Tha_G0at]

Do you mean like positionally hard? I sleep with my 3 year old and it's getting really tough

[@DenisaRit]

Hi! I co-slept my baby since she was newborn but now she is 1 year old. How did u do when they stand up during the night in bed,how u handle this situation with them?

[@makennaerickson886]

I was trying to still use my pregnancy pillow until last week. Partially for safety barriers initially but also for my knees and ankles. My back was still hurting. I recently got a bed guard rail and just tuck my blankets between my knees and ankles and I think it’s helped because my legs don’t have to be so bent like with the pillow and the angles were weird because I couldn’t use the pillow normally of course. Also sometimes I sleep on my back during my babies sleep stretches especially when my back starts hurting. I’ve only been doing this around 2 months though. But I think those two changes have helped. Plus we go on walks everyday now. Not sure but curious if that movement has been helping my back too.

[@Jillianrc]

I actually found nursing my baby while bed sharing safer because when I would nurse my baby in a rocking chair I’d fall asleep and we wouldn’t be in a safe position. It was better for us to intentionally bed share than accidentally co sleep.

[@brickbrow]

All of the biological connectors between baby and mom make so much sense to me! I can’t believe how much information is fed to us on parenting by sources with a conflict of interest (formula companies, crib makers on safety, etc). I love Natalie’s bio line about “the mom they warned you about” because I just cannot unsee any of this and I feel a little more empowered with my baby! Another great episode ladies, followed and subscribed to both!! 💛

[@kimberleylibby1028]

I wasn't planning on co-sleeping but I was falling asleep while sitting up and feeding her. I realized it was safer to intentionally co-sleep and set up the environment for it then unintentionally co-sleep because I nodded off and not have the environment set up properly.

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏👏 EXACTLY!!!

[@徐茗]

As someone from Asia, I literally don’t know anyone who doesn’t cosleep. If you say you put your baby (or 3yo) in another room all by himself, people are going to look at you like you’ve grown 2 heads. From our perspective it’s just not safe. Nighttime is a especially vulnerable moment for humans Children usually cosleep until they reach primary school age or later. I don’t think cosleep has anything to do with independence, when I was little I coslept, but I was also walking to school by myself from first grade. Same with all my friends. Now I’m in Japan, Japanese also cosleep until primary school age, and children also walk to school by themselves when they are first graders. There’s even a show where Japanese kids run errands for their parent when they are just 4yo, and those kids still cosleep with their parents. I find it interesting when westerners say Japan is a culture values independence and self reliance from a young age when they see that show, but never mention the cosleeping part. Isn’t this by itself evident of cosleeping doesn’t teach kids to be dependent? Also, baby shouldn’t be ‘independent’, the very definition of a baby is that it’s dependent on others

[@徐茗]

Love this podcast, it’s so true that sleep is not a topic in other countries, at least not in my culture. In my culture it’s food and nutrition, that’s what every parent talks about, they want their babies to have maximum nutrition. It’s pretty surprising and baffling to me that sleep is an obsession in the west I don’t know who invented putting babies in another room, thats just so strange. And creating unnecessary hardship. if you are walking between the rooms of course it’s tiring. And that’s going to be your obsession. One of my friend said his bedsharing 2mo son wakes up in the middle of the night to check up on them, and if he sees they are there, he goes right back to sleep. I can only imagine how that baby will do if he’s put in another room. Probably will be diagnosed with ‘sleep problems’

[@徐茗]

I was formula fed, my mother had no milk, but I was still coslept, they used a crib next to the bed until I could crawl, and then i was bedshared This is also pretty common Breastfeeding moms nurse their babies to sleep, formula fed babies are also coslept but are patted to sleep. The parent lay with the baby, and pat the baby. If the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you just reach out a hand and pat them. It’s also pretty easy and doesn’t require getting up. Which bewilders me once again: why put baby in another room???

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏

[@徐茗]

Also want to mention the ‘cosleep ruins marriage’ myth, if you look at the countries with the lowest divorce rate, most of them are cosleeping cultures. Japan has a lower divorce rate than the US, and it’s not abnormal for in Japan for mother to sleep with the children while the husband sleep in another room. They don’t only do it for children, you will see elder couples whose children are out of the house, they sleep on twin beds in the bedroom because they have different preferences for mattresses or whatever. In Japan and asia in general I don’t think people take sleep arrangements as indication for relationship quality.

[@徐茗]

Also I’m pretty bewildered by the obsession mentioned in the podcast with routine and schedule. Human are not robots…it’s crazy to expect them to do exact the same at exactly the same time everyday. When was this obsession took place? Is this some left over habit from militant living back in the days? You can run babies as they are in a military camp, that’s not successful family life. Also when cosleeping, at least in Asia, parents and children go to bed at the same time. So it’s going to be 9 or 10pm, never 7:30! 7:30 bedtime is crazy! Think about all the experiences and family lives they will miss! I’ve noticed that lots of western parents don’t really want kids to be part of their lives, they want kids as a x hour a day activity, and the parents have their own lives. not immersing kids into the full on family. I would say this is the biggest difference, how people view children and family I’m not sure when did this trend started

[@avaglynn1]

Co sleeping is great, but after awhile I started to hate it. My baby was nursing all night long, would eat so much that he would fill his diaper by 4 am so I would have to change it, then try to get back to sleep. My back was aching from lying on my side all the time, sleep was becoming less and less restful for both of us. Around a year old I transitioned him to the crib and got my life back! It was great until it wasn't! Don't be afraid to change things if it's no longer a benefit!

[@heyshayla]

COULDNT AGREE MORE!! Do what works until it doesn’t!

[@insightinspiration9922]

Totally agree! Babies change so rapidly. I found it very important to co-sleep in the beginning because it just seemed so natural and logical, but I also witnessed that by being in her own room, she slept much better and longer (and I slept much better, too).

[@rebeccafalkner2876]

Would love to hear how it went with the transition. My son is one next week. We’ve breastfed on demand and co-slept since night one. At this point, I feel similarly to how you did. I need some space and some deep rest. Im so worried about transitioning him to a crib and trying some sleep learning methods 😕

[@JoeBidensdirtydiaper]

@@rebeccafalkner2876so you co slept and demand fed from day one and now you’re crying for help bc you created this monster 😂😂😂😂

[@rebeccafalkner2876]

@@JoeBidensdirtydiaper - my son is now 2 years 3 months and is doing amazing in his crib. We transitioned him at 16 months out of cosleeping and nursing through the night. My husband rocks him every night before bed and settles him to sleep as I put our older daughter to bed. I pray you find nurturing and love because it’s obvious you need some kindness in your life 🙏🏼

[@Madi-ls5uu]

I’m 8 months postpartum and you two just blew my severely sleep deprived brain.

[@heyshayla]

😂👏👏👏

[@Madi-ls5uu]

@@heyshayla I’ve been just like you said you were with your first. Keeping him on a schedule and trying to do everything to make sure his sleep matched the books. I was even beginning to try the sleep lady’s “gentle” sleep training because he was getting up every hour. It wasn’t working. He would just play for a few minutes then scream.

[@insightinspiration9922]

For us it was the opposite. In the beginning our daughter slept next to me in the family bed but night sleep was very light for me and I just wasn’t well rested because I constantly heard all of her little noises and were constantly alarmed to not squeeze her. Eventually at 2 months old we tried putting her in her own crib in her own room with a video baby phone and it works very well. In case she wakes I will always hear her and be right there, but all her little noises are filtered out and she sleeps much calmer I find. People have to do what’s good for them and follow what’s necessary for their family.

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏👏

[@user-vd2gk9bi4l]

This is absolutely the best conversation ever! I started cosleeping at 5-6 weeks give or take with my son. My next baby I plan on cosleeping day one. Currently have a 5mo old happy boy! I wake up fully rested and ready to start my day. After having my baby un-medicated and a water birth and this journey of just doing more of a minimalist approach I have been so interested in becoming a doula and postpartum doula. This whole discussion makes all of the sense! I have been telling my man it's crazy how much the product market controls the "parenting guidelines". We cloth diaper after I watched all of your videos on cloth diapering. I feel like just switching to cloth and then co sleep it has opened my mind up to how much of the "must haves" are total bs. Your baby needs you, love and a tidy environment and understanding. They don't need a room full of toys, sound machines, bouncers ect.

[@JoeBidensdirtydiaper]

You absolutely in no way should be a doula if you advocate for co-sleeping/bed sharing. Absolutely absurdly irresponsible

[@danielaballesteros3264]

Did the fourth month sleep regression affect it? Or were there some changes?? I’m asking cause we are almost getting there and I’m a bit scared 😅

[@gloriasundy4200]

Please become a doula, spread the word on physiological birth and breast feeding/ cosleeping

[@JennyLouRN]

My kids are grown now and I am an OB/Gyn and NICU RN. This video has great information about putting a twin mattress in the floor if sleeping in the bed with your baby is not for you. I also commend the approach of doing what works for you and your family, rather than thinking you have to conform to societal norms.

[@karinababy6557]

Yes! I was just thinking about doing that with my sons bedroom once it’s done !!

[@insightinspiration9922]

Yes, some babies want and need to feel you next to them others want their own space and sleep calmer in their own room. I think adapting to your baby is what counts.

[@alyssamurphy2002]

Non mom here. The sleep thing has been one of my number one fears. I kept having this voice in my spirit that something is wrong with how we modern Americans do it, that the no sleep misery can't be how God designed us. I was also disgusted with the co sleeping and Moms that rearranged everything for their kids at the expense of their husbands... that the kids should adjust. I now think that's selfish and wrong. Thanks for this. Gives me hope for the future for my hopefully future breastfed baby.

[@alyssamurphy2002]

Pregnant now! Four months in. I was just wondering about an expensive nursing chair.

[@Mamaonamisson]

It’s 2:14 am I’m holding my 4 day old daughter. I haven’t slept. I’m recovering from a c-section. My baby doesn’t want to sleep in her bed beside me: she wants cuddles. I am exhausted and heartbroken at setting her down for her to cry🥹

[@echobush411]

1st time mom of a 5MO and this has not only blown my mind, but I'm sure will CHANGE. MY. LIFE!! I felt a release of joy so many times while listening to this podcast because you guys talked about solutions to problems I'm thinking about that actually work with my cultural values as a mom. THANK YOU so much for showing up in the social media world so that the word can be spread that life doesn't always have to look like the traditional American way, and that's often not only just ok, but BETTER than ok!

[@emilyhutchings8589]

I really appreciate you asking what the difference is with formula feeding moms. Some of us have true medical conditions that don’t allow us to breastfeed and it’s hurtful when it seems like formula shaming is happening. I love your content.

[@JV-bc8um]

Bruh I have no shame. Breastfeeding is so much work and pain, I just hate it. It's cool that the only shame I've seen with formula feeding has been online and not in person for me. I wish it was like that for everyone.

[@Zyphra22]

I don’t think the interview was meant to make anyone feel bad, I hope you don’t- you’re doing what you can for baby :) They were just sharing sleep lab/study data. Breastfeeding moms are actually a minority in the US so if you formula feed you have lots of company!

[@Meowmeowingz]

I don’t have a medical condition and I’m choosing to formula feed …

[@KitKat10281]

A fed baby is a healthy and happy baby - breast OR formula! ❤

[@Zyphra22]

My 2.5 year old doesn’t want to sleep with mom and dad 😂 we try to cuddle her in our bed and she says, “No I want MY bed.” I guess she feels really safe there

[@heyshayla]

I looooove hearing this!!!

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

I spent the first 10 years of my life in small-town Russia and slept either with my mom or with grandma. They had their own rooms. When I emigrated to Western Europe I got my own room and was afraid to sleep alone for weeks of not months. But when I went to regular school a year later (after going to a special school to learn the language for a year) all the children in my class were obsessed with Pokemon, wore a Pokemon t-shirt, and used every spare moment to turn to each other to discuss their Pokemon cards. I was the only child in class not interested in Pokemon and sat there and observed my classmates with amazement and irritation. Years later I read that co-sleeping makes children more independent and it totally made sense to me.

[@toril_13]

I understand people can only speak to their experience but as a formula feeding, co-sleeping mama I hope no one else comes away from this video thinking breastfeeding and cosleeping is the only safe combo. 🙏🏻 These are maternal instincts, not breastfeeding only instincts. Much love to all mamas however you feed or sleep ❤

[@k4tchenwunschkonzert]

So am I a bad mum cause I do co sleep as a formular feeding mum? I dont know, my baby never had to cry to wake me up, actually I wake up if she moves a little bit. I also dont fall out of my or any other bed. My baby was born 3 month early and we have a monitor as safety measure. that monitor shows, if she sleeps on my side there are hardly no alarms, if she sleeps alone she does not sleep long and she keeps having alarms. It´s actually the first time ever that I heard that a non breast feeding mum is a danger to her baby if co sleeping. As you said there are maternal instincts, our body knows that we are mums. There is always the possibility of a side bed if mums are afraid, thats still better than a different room. My baby knows how to baby, my body knows how to mum and I just be around and keep her fed, warm and cuddled. I never really had the chance to follow those books and rules what you should do cause of her early start... it seems to be a blessing after all. we sleep when we are tired we feed when we are hungry thats it!

[@ntmn8444]

@@k4tchenwunschkonzert OP literally is doing the same thing as you.

[@brandieb9849]

I 10% agree as I am a formula feeding co sleeping mom. We are still in sync and I know where she is all night (even tho she somehow claims more and more bed space throughout the night) the baby does not sleep well without me next to her. Also she never wants me to feed her at night so she sleeps all night kind. She is 4 months old and started sleeping all night at 2.5 months.

[@toril_13]

@@k4tchenwunschkonzert I definitely wouldn't call a stranger a bad mom. We do what works best for our babies and families as a whole. For my family, that's cosleeping with our 3 month old formula fed baby. ❤️

[@jordyndoucet3442]

I don't think she is speaking from experience but from scientific evidence. Statistically its safer for a breastfed baby to cosleep and a formula fed baby to sleep in a seperate sleep space.

[@chrissyfrederick3424]

I wish I would have had this sooner. Would have helped those negative feelings because we are trying to listen to the expectations. Being on Shaylas channel about co sleeping/ bed sharing has dramatically helped me emotionally and mentally. It led me down a road I was able to research what was better for my household. And feel great about it. Thank you ladies for this

[@magilicuddy1827]

I love the ideas in this podcast and always want my children to feel safe, loved, and connected to my husband and me. But there does come a point when you need to instill some boundaries for everyone's sake. I had to wean my toddler due to pregnancy making breastfeeding so uncomfortable. I started by nightweaning and within 1 month he was sleeping 100% better than before! He didn't need to be nursing at night anymore, he was just doing it out of habit. Breaking that habit was not a fun process but we are all better off for it. The next step is to get him sleeping on his own. I want to make the transition gentle but I know he can do it. I will always respond to his cries and he'll always know I'm right there when he calls. But my husband and I need to instill some boundaries for our sake. If everyone is happy with a family bed, then that's awesome. But if one parent is unhappy it's important to make changes. Your marriage is the foundation of the family and your children's security and safety.

[@jackiesicilian5720]

You're absolutely right

[@friedawells6860]

That makes perfect sense and I will probably do the same (currently pregnant!) with my baby regardless of whether I am pregnant again. Do you have any advice on the weaning? :) I love the idea of cosleeping, but I think having a baby that is more than 10+ months old still in the bed and still nursing multiple times per night is just too much, especially when they are perfectly fine sleeping all night at that age. I think the couple should only continue cosleeping at that point if that is really what they want.

[@taylorfloyd311]

I finally brought my baby into the bed at about a month and a half and I swear my PPA disappeared immediately. I was no longer mad at my husband for sawing logs while I dealt with breastfeeding the baby.

[@Biffab223]

Same for me. Really helped my baby blues and helped my bonding. Weirdly, I felt less anxious than when she was in her side crib because I think in my sleep I was hearing her breath.

[@kimberlyd2308]

Lol at "sometimes the trash comes and sometimes it doesn't...oh... it's every Thursday?" That's me too This video is sooo helpful- I love how empowering it is about trusting your instincts and not forcing yourself to do the "right (cultural) thing"

[@kierstenknerl4650]

Love love love this!!! The mom guilt I had for cosleeping from EVERYONE in my life telling me I was wrong was overwhelming. I was an infant daycare provider and have safe sleep certifications and training for days that said everything I’m doing that felt biologically normal was “wrong”. My husband was my only advocate for our son cosleeping and I am so thankful he didn’t let me cave in to people that didn’t even live in our house! Lol

[@tessarae9127]

It’s so crazy that this has become taboo. My husband says it is common to cosleep in Mexico. I see myself in your shoes when I become a mother in the ever-nearing future… Being judged from all sides except his 🖤 All the stereotypes about Mexican families being close knit speak for themselves, just saying!!! I cannot believe how disconnected we’ve become in the west.

[@thuythuy88]

How do you manage naps during the day when you co sleep? We let our baby sleep with us a couple times and now our daytime naps are difficult bc he doesn’t want to sleep in the bassinet.

[@insightinspiration9922]

Other people have other experiences. It's important to do what you feel is best and to listen to the needs of your little one. Some babies want and need to be close, other babies want their own space. Being open to listening to their needs is what counts.

[@emank8137]

This was one of the most beneficial KZbin videos I’ve seen related to preparing for a baby! Thank you soooo much for this information!

[@sierraarmstrong4111]

I definitely agree with co-sleeping ESPECIALLY for nursing moms. I coslept with all 3 of my kids and the 3rd one i tried really hard not to but when i fell asleep nursing him sitting up and dropped him i decided to side lay and nurse and we both fell asleep nursing and we both had literally THE BEST sleep!! And i didnt drop him nursing in the middle of the night ever again. This is now my 4th i know im going to nurse and cosleep so this time i will be getting a bed rail for piece of mind and safety. But i nursed my 3rd the longest bc i made the decision to bed share and i looked forward to bed time every night, when he nursed it put ME to sleep! It relaxed and knocked me out just as well as him! And i loved it so so much. My kids are 6, 5 and 3 and my 3 year old still sleeps wirh me most of the time, my 5 year old still comes into my bed alot of nights and my 6 year old atleast once a month will lay at the bottom of my bed. I definitely need a bigger bed but i love it. My 3 year olds the smallest so most nights he falls asleep cuddling with me and its my favorite time of day❤

[@heyshayla]

I can totally relate!!!! It’s the best. Hard sometimes but I know I’ll never look back and regret it

[@Butterfly.Creations]

I wish I could give this a heart and not a thumbs up. THANK YOU for sharing this. I am being induced next week with my first & the only reason I didn't wanna cosleep is because I was so worried about "breaking" the cosleeping habit once baby is older. Plus there is SO MUCH negative info on cosleeping with a new born. I decided to cosleep because I do not want to get up every 2 hours to breast feed baby but I also want to do skin to skin and bond with baby. I didn't know that the sleep cycles sync and that the mom won't roll over on the baby. Thank you so so much for this.

[@lolalondres5625]

I have an 11 week old girl and we co-sleep and we were thinking to get her a crib just for when she starts to roll out of fear that she might fall off the bed but you gave me such great tips. Thank you ❤

[@karacole2304]

You can also get a bed rail! 💗

[@unakim2937]

Thank you for this. I co sleep with my 2 year old and a lot of people including my husband and her pediatrician telling me how she needs to sleep on her own by self and deep inside me I know it’s not necessary. Thank you, we all need to listen to our intuition and mother instincts.

[@Valentina-Steinway]

Will you continue to cosleep with three children? An 8 year old girl, a 3 year old boy and a newborn and two parents. I’m boggled

[@unakim2937]

@@Valentina-Steinway I would. But I would also expect them to sleep on their own as they get older. And hopefully the siblings can co sleep with each other instead of me all time. That’s just me and every child and family is different so you have to do what’s best fits for the family.

[@Valentina-Steinway]

@@unakim2937 Well it is my daughter’s life. They’re her children. I just think it’s excessive to have parents and school aged kid with brother and baby all in a king size bed. It’s asking for trouble. What if the sibling accidentally covers kid up?!?

[@laraazevedo7437]

Instead of having your mattress on the floor, we have a futon that is very low to the ground. Wealso have a crib right next to it with one of the sides removed, so if my baby rolls off their crib they just fall onto our futon. It works well for us

[@ElisabethMiller]

My Baby ONLY slept ON TOP of me for one year 😁💗 it was a beautiful time 💗

[@pl9763]

Thank you so much for this video! The societal expectation and pressure to put babies into a bassinet or crib alone made me feel like I am doing something wrong as my baby won't sleep on his own and on his back. I finally slept much better last night after watching your video.

[@evbosarah6852]

God will so much bless you for this chat , this is life saving conversation because breastfeeding is about to make me insane due to the rules and regulations of putting my newborn in the cot when they fall asleep and picking them up again

[@skillhunterffv4058]

While we are pregnant we have to sleep on our sides. After the baby is born lay on your side putting your arm out at a 90 degree angle. You physically cannot roll over on the baby bcs you will dislocate your shoulder. Also, you will feel if your partner rolls over on your arm. This will keep them from rolling on the baby. As well as wearing a long sleeve shirt so you do not need a blanket on the top. Another suggestion is putting a child’s bed rail up on the side of the parents bed to keep them from rolling out of bed. I co slept with both of my babies. And at one point I had to co sleep with my baby and toddler at the same time. My husband had to travel and it was easier to do this. We all slept so much better. I also learned that my toddler had sleep apnea and needed his adenoids removed. I was aware of how often he was waking.

[@dessiemason2365]

I soooo badly wish I had this before my baby girl and becoming a FTM ... I remember feeling like such a failure when I couldn't put my baby down to sleep in a bassinet

[@aliciamarie7487]

I needed this so bad. The internet is full of negativity and I am doing amazing sleeping holding baby. ❤

[@Valentina-Steinway]

It’s a 100% successful when everything goes well. It’s a 100% negative if something goes sideways….

[@Dawbry]

I am so glad that I found this information! My baby was full term and we exclusively breastfed the plan and what we started was her sleeping in a bedside bassinet. My first week PP I did not sleep much at all! like 8 hours for the whole week. I was getting a bit crazy and when I found that I could not drive, I knew something had to change. while sleeping in the bassinet she would wake to feed every 1-2 hours. and getting her out of the bassinet would make me sit up at least. I also have ADHD and my brain was on overdrive! I rarely could get any sleep at all overnight that first week! Remembering this podcast was awesome! I did some research and even with worry I finally got some sleep that first night co-sleeping! Now we are 12 weeks PP and even though every day is a bit different, she sleeps great every night and it is true that the sleep cycles sink because ours did so well! I wake up and go back to sleep alongside her; it is beyond awesome! THANK YOU!!!!!

[@JoeBidensdirtydiaper]

The sleep cycle sinking is literally nonsense. Babies at that stage just start making more melatonin themselves-that’s it. They absolutely can get on a sleep schedule but “synching sleep cycles” is literally absurd Babies and an adult woman’s sleep are completely different

[@brittanymaloney2035]

I LOVE having a video to watch instead of listening to a podcast! Please please post more of these 💙💙

[@Biffab223]

Thank you so much for this. I was so sleep deprived before giving in to co sleeping (even though I was terrified to) at week 5 and it’s revolutionised my relationship with my baby. She sleeps far better, for longer and seems much happier. I as her Mother am far happier too. It always felt unnatural for us to be separated at night, even using a side sleeper. It’s a bit uncomfortable for me without a duvet, one small pillow and side sleeping but it’s still better than the alternative which was me crying with exhaustion waking up to her screaming in the side sleeper cot every 20 mins. There’s such a stigma though as I daren’t tell any of the health professionals (I’m in the UK) that we’re co sleeping without Dad in the room.

[@brittaniewaller6052]

Thank you so much for making this video! I’m a first time mom and my baby will be here soon and I have been stressing out about the sleeping/breastfeeding situation I am not a good sleeper and I don’t that that for my children. I’ve been skeptical of sleep training and schedules and all of the other cultural norms of the country because it does seem so unnatural, so it was really nice to hear this message and feel like I can trust my instincts. Again, thank you so much for your content, and you are quickly becoming one of my fave mom gurus and I set out on this journey.😊

[@skeleton_wa_migraine1736]

Hi first time mom! Ive been a first time mom for a year bow and my momma jpurney was tough bc of a rough start with breastfeeding. I had issues in my delivery, c section, hemorraged, and it affected my milk supply. I also had NO clue how to start and nurses did not give me any helpful information & if they did i only heard it once. Please check out The Badass Breastfeeding Podcast for all things breastfeeding. Latch issues, milk supply, whats normal or not, etc. They were INSTRUMENTAL in me begining and continuing my breastfeeding journey. Best wiahes to you and ypur journey. As long as you have an openness to the experience of motherhood you will become a great momma. But connect with people and ask for support. ❤❤❤ sending you peace love and joy.

[@jenniferlopez9049]

I definitely have an open mind about co-sleeping after watching this. I wasn't even searching for this topic. I am due in 2 weeks with my first and have never given it much thought. We bought a bassinet assuming because we have no space for a crib. It looks like I have lots to think about and read. I am totally fearful of co-sleeping like and have more questions. But would love for this to work! It makes sooo much sense. I definitely am already stressed about the difficulties and sleepless nights when it comes to getting up all night long to nurse. So I am curious about that issue in combination with the sleep info. So I will look into the book and documentaries that were mentioned.

[@ohlalaparis1106]

Where were this video when I had my son! I swear I was that mom that was watching the clock all the time because of his sleep schedule. I gladly gave in to follow his queues when he was around 5 months, all these sleep train books just gave me fake expectations plus I wasn’t willing to let my son cry out for no reason.

[@rachelbylsma7714]

thanks for challenging her on the formula feeding mom talk. I exclusively breastfeed both my babies, and with my son's allergies probably couldn't even switch to formula if I wanted- but the rhetoric towards formula feeding parents was a bit harsh. Although I wouldn't know, I'm certain those moms are still biologically wired to be as attentive and caring and nurturing at night.

[@HustlinHart]

In Asian country, we all cosleep. In the Philippines 🇵🇭 where I grew up, it is natural for moms to cosleep. In fact it is encouraged.

[@shanae8278]

Thank you so much for this! I have a 10 wk old and a 12 yr old so I'm basically starting all over. I understand that letting my baby tell me what to do in reference to what she needs and when to sleep is how I operate. That's an extreme abnormality in my community and I tend to not have much support b/c culture has become bible and anything else is blasphemous. I'm often told by older women (and everybody else socialized) that since my baby is not sleeping thru the night yet, she should be given rice cereal to MAKE her sleep. So my husband and I are actively working to educate the people around us to know that our baby is going off of biology and instinct and we will follow her lead.

[@insightinspiration9922]

It's great that you are not afraid to make things differently and adapt to your babies needs rather than some cultural habits. When your baby feels that you are open to adapt, she/he will be much calmer as a consequence and an overall happier baby, in my opinion.

[@brittanylopez2609]

Just chiming in to cheer you on! We had lots of people suggesting rice cereal too and it's a pretty outdated "solution" - don't hesitate to take breaks from educating others, it could be an endless task. I tried starting oat cereal after a month into the 4mo regression and my baby had an allergic reaction and went pale and puked, not fun!

[@homeaesthetics2484]

Thank you for sharing motherhood content, especially in podcast form where I can listen while I work in my home! Personally , I do not feel comfortable with co-sleeping. I know that I sleep better with the peace of mind that my baby is in his crib... even if that means getting up at night. I love your content, and this is just my opinion on the topic. I did find this video quite informative, and I did learn new information.

[@heyshayla]

Totally!! I think it’s important to do what works best for you!!

[@CharlotteG754]

It makes me so sad that I live in US and having my children here as society pushes so many not biological ways of caring for the baby and forced to go back to work so fast. It breaks my heart.

[@Miki-ri1gs]

I co-sleep. We ended up doing so when we didn't plan to. We're so happy, and I am rarely ever tired.

[@Marvillar]

I already listened to the podcast but I have to say I LOVE your podcasts and how informative they are. I feel so much better prepared for motherhood with listening to them. I share your podcast with all my mom friends xx. Please keep it up :)

[@heyshayla]

Love this!! Thank you!

[@daughter_of_yeshua]

I am passionate about the subject of breastfeeding and bedsharing. I read sweet sleep, safe infant sleep and have listened to the evolutionary parenting podcast, but it was new to me that all of baby's check ins every 45 minutes and then hour and half amount to baby feeling secure in the knowledge over time that you will be there when they wake along with their stomachs getting bigger and needing fewer night feeds being the reason they wake less. I feel so good knowing that my son is sleeping well these days because he knows I will be there.

[@lillianchukwueze]

Wow amazing podcast. This just helped me take a deep breath because now I know I need to change my expectations for my baby and that co sleeping is fine! Thank you for this!

[@ladybugflv]

During pregnancy I imagined I would definitely co-sleep, then my baby arrived and when she was 2 mo, I realised I would breastfeed her every time she ever so slightly fussed, when in fact she was just jumping from one sleep cycle to another and that is why she would "wake up" so often. And she fully woke up every single time, cause I had to burp her, she had reflux etc. So I decided to get out of the room. Game changer for both of us. Now she sleeps on a floor bed and I pop in, breastfeed and exit. She is 13 mo and has 2 to 3 wakings. I have a couple of friends with babies of the same age as mine, they co-sleep and their babies have up to 10 wakenings a night. I tried cosleeping again, at some point, I just could not fall asleep, it felt... uncomfortable. Go figure.

[@insightinspiration9922]

So true, I also was a fierce defender of the co-sleeping during pregnancy but once she was there, co-sleeping was just a mess... We tried to put her in her own room at 2 mo and it worked immediately very well. She wakes up 2 - 3 times a night, I sneak in, fast give a bottle and she continues to sleep almost immediately. I find it also better for my own mental sanity as this means the parents bed room is our space where we can take some distance after a long day of play and fun.

[@juliababineaux9701]

Thank you so much for this! A lot of my questions about nursing while pregnant were answered. I feel so much more confident about tandem nursing now!

[@samanthahenders4114]

I loved all the info in this video. I have slept with my baby since the second night when he was swaddled with a passifier in his bassinet and started choking on spit up- I barely heard him and ran over to help him. Never let him sleep away from me again. I do have to say tho that I had trouble nursing in the beginning which hurt my supply. I have always supplemented with hipp formula, which we love. He is 15 mo now and I still nurse as a human passifier, but I really don't think much milk comes out lol. In no way are my instincts effected at night. I still wake the second he stirs and we are still very in sync during sleep. I hope moms who supplement know they can still safely co sleep.

[@heyshayla]

Thank you for adding this!!!

[@runako2013]

This is the best video👌 thank you. I cried watching it. Just a lot of cultural pressures that end up seeming like the reality and expectation😩. Thank you again 💓 I know I'm doing what's right for my baby!

[@sarahmcw]

This is the validation that I’ve been needing.

[@Abcdefghijajajaja]

One hundred percent!!!!!!!

[@emptysoul5057]

I tried the crib but it was so cold and blizzarding out when he was born that I couldn't keep him warm enough In his own nursery . I co slept with him. It made nursing easier and he slept longer warm and cozy by me . He got kicked out to his own bed late spring when it was warm and he was starting to be a climbing wild boy who kept me up lol

[@quirkyCourtney]

Very compelling and informative. We are having our first baby later this year, and I am still so torn because the people who I know who cosleep are some of the most miserable, exhausted, tired people that I’ve ever met. They are coincidentally, some of the more well-meaning parents. I’m terrified of ending up with a three or four year old who I can’t get out of my bed. So I have yet to see that transition into their own room go well or smoothly.

[@quirkyCourtney]

Oh… And all of the animals are not allowed to sleep with us either😂

[@quirkyCourtney]

I love how you guys hit on the moral and value side of the reasons behind choosing a sleep schedule or a lack of a schedule. I think that is really the ultimate point! And thinking behind the reasons why we are making these choices of parents, and what those results are going to be down the line.

[@heyshayla]

Totally!! I think it’s ultimately up to you!

[@insightinspiration9922]

Same experience here. I was so exhausted because I couldn’t rest completely with my little one just beside me. We were all waking all the time because of little noises. So we tried at 3 mo old to put her in her own room and it worked well. But she is a calm and happy baby and we had never any reason to believe that she isn’t fine with sleeping alone. When ever there was the slightest issue, I was always right there to comfort!

[@brookecarrillo3432]

You find what works for you and do it! My baby was 7 weeks early so bed sharing was an absolute no because she was just so small. She slept in our room in her cradle for two weeks but none of us got sleep! She grunted ALL night long and it made it so hard for me to sleep. So after two weeks we moved her into her room. I would do a dream feed at 11 before I went to bed and then my husband would give her pumped breastmilk at 2 am so I could sleep until her 5 am feeding. She started sleeping 8 hours straight at around 3.5 months and I was so worried about my milk supply. She is almost six months old and our breastfeeding is still going strong. Parenting is all about trial and error! 😊

[@s.gurdian3230]

I formula fed with my first child and was exhausted from lack of sleep and putting them in crib. With my second I am currently exclusively breastfeeding and cosleeping and I noticed I feel more rested and sleeping isn't an issue. Don't know how I ended up on this video (youtube algorithms brought me here) but now I understand why! Pretty cool!

[@Talks_2much]

Yes! I had to start co-sleeping with my son after I woke up and got him to nurse him back to sleep and fell asleep on the couch with him! I didn't drop him, thank goodness, but my husband woke me up the next morning after taking him from my arms. I didnt remember waking up to get him. I even told my husband that our son was in his bed the whole night before my husband told me he literally just took him from me. After that, I read up on co-sleeping as much as I could and he was in our bed from that night on. I also started producing more milk after that! I had been struggling with supply and was frustrated because exclusively breastfeeding was the goal and half of the time when I went to see a lactation consultant, they would send me home with formula because he was just under where they wanted him to be weight wise. I stopped going to the lactation consultants, started co-sleeping, and at his next doctors visit, he weighed in perfectly!

[@tessarae9127]

Nice 💗 thanks for sharing!!!

[@insightinspiration9922]

It's great that you listened to your maternal instincts and provided your little one the experience he/she needed! Being open to our babies needs is what ultimately counts.

[@SarahHannah91]

This was incredible to listen to! Came just at the right time for me. Thank you so much both of you.

[@zosijana123]

You are great together. One of the few videos I don't feel the need to play at double speed :)

[@bridgetisfly]

Holy shitballs thank you ladies!!!!! This is the video my intuition has been searching for ❤❤❤❤

[@jkc7134]

"Holy shitballs" 😂😂😂

[@syrykh]

Amazing and full of insights episode 👍 I was bed-sharing with both my kids, and it worked great. The new scientifical data around sleep is totally fascinating. For example syncing sleep of mother, baby and father. And why I sleep bad without my husband in my bed 😁 Definitely a podcast that dads should listen too (at least some parts).

[@NatasshjaSoncini]

How did I just find you???!!!! I AM BINGE WATCHING ALL YOUR VIDEOSSS AND PODCAST!! SO INFORMATIVE

[@rob-dq7sv]

As a newborn my son would roll straight to his face in his pack and play so it was MUCH safer for us to co-sleep where I could keep a hand on him and would wake up when ever he moved.

[@bethanygilbertson]

My 3 yo never fell out of our bed until she started sleeping in her bed more often and had fallen out of her toddler bed. She's fallen out of ours and not even completely woken up 🤣 I have no regrets about bed sharing!

[@jackiesicilian5720]

I agree with what she said most partly but my kids are grown and doing their own co-sleeping with my grandkids now I'm telling you it's not as easy as it sounds sometimes the room is not big enough sometimes the husbands are alone too much sometimes they don't help as much as they should and it causes a lot of problems whereas if you could teach the baby to sleep in a crib and they're comfortable and safe then everything's fine. And the family is happier all around if they can sleep together and have intimate times away from the children which is needed in a marriage. To each family to choose their style, but keep your partner included.

[@medina8223]

Thank you! I actually find I sleep worse when I co sleep ( baby 6 weeks old, breast fed). I wake up with numb arms and legs, sore hip and back 😫 I am so anxious throughout the night that I struggle to let myself drift off into a deep sleep. At least once he is in his cot I can fully relax ( even if this means me being physically up every 2 hrs or so). Eldest 6 years old now, EBF and slept in his own cot and room from week 6.But this this one I dont have the energy 😵‍💫

[@kitcowool]

I’m a cosleeping tandem breastfeeding mama. They’re currently and 10mo and 2 and the 2yo has been gently weaned for about a month. We go through the same sleep cycles as mentioned. They both go to bed at 8pm and wake up at exactly midnight and 3am like clockwork… up for the day at 6am. The toddler is now sleeping in his own bed in his own room (just got his own room from his nursery nook in the corner of our one bedroom). He still wakes up and runs to me at midnight and 3am. I give him a sip of water and put him back to sleep.

[@kasapbandy1776]

Just wanna say that documentary “the Milky Way” is free to watch in several places!!

[@gramolemona]

Thanks for the podcast! I was happy to renew my knowledge about this topic before baby#2 to be sure I'm doing everything right :D

[@vanessab9584]

Can we also have an episode talking about the corner cases? Like what if your babe has reflux? What if your baby is really gassy? What about burping the baby? What if they pee 5 times a night? Do you get up or change their diaper in bed? Just not change it and hope the diaper wicks away the wetness? Does your baby just not pee at night? How do/can formula feeding moms do this? I'd love to talk about real situations like these and not just the ideal.

[@heyshayla]

That’s a great idea!

[@mamabearrose7850]

I love the part about sleep associations helping kids feel safe to sleep. I think our culture makes us think we're being bad moms if our kids nurse to sleep.

[@christengardner1466]

This made me feel so much better about sleeping with my baby. My mom and family did it culturally it was normal for us even though in America the doctor said not to. I formula fed though and breastfed for a little too.

[@karacole2304]

The Sears’ family of doctors teaches the same! Co- sleeping for the win! 🎉

[@Sweet_Treat_]

This makes so much sense. I always think OMG I'm gonna roll over on baby but even now when I sleep by myself I wake up enough to honestly say that I'm aware. Like I'll look out the window decide if I need the toilet and all that and can easily fall back asleep. But until baby comes maybe I'll practice with a pillow or teddy bear lol.

[@The.aragon]

Thank you both for sharing this healing information 🥰🙌 Merry Christmas!🎄

[@miahmill1019]

This is like beyond helpful, totally lost of words

[@Alesssia]

I’ve had my first son’s doctor tell me I need to stop breastfeeding after one year and he can go on formula. She kept telling me that I didn’t need to breastfeed after 6months. I thought it was so bazar.

[@yume816]

On the contrary, I hear so many parents who say their kids, mostly boys, became so clingy and dependent from co-sleeping.

[@kathrynmcbride299]

Gosh I wish I had this podcast in 2016…this is a wonderful video full of great information and resources. THANK YOU

[@cassandrazepeda2412]

This podcast episode is GOLD! Think you!!

[@rachelcain5688]

What about middle of the night diaper changes?

[@emilyann4549]

I have epilepsy, and sleep deprivation is the number 1 siezure trigger for me. When I tell people I plan on co sleeping, they freak out because they think I'm going to have a siezure and suffocate my baby. I try to tell them that sleeping with my baby is the way I'm going to get as much sleep as possible and feel mostly rested. The idea of having to get up, pick my baby up out of crib, and then sit up somewhere to breast feed sounds way more hazardous to my baby. Having to stand and wake up abruptly is more likely to cause a siezure breakthrough, and then If I fall and drop my baby from the standing position... obviously a major risk. I also have never to my knowledge had a siezure during sleep or rest (like in half sleep when you're waking up in the morning slowly.) I can't be 100% sure, but I sleep with my husband every night and I'm pretty damn sure he would wake up if I was convulsing. I also don't sleep walk, which is actually a type of siezure. So co sleeping sounds like the way to go for me and Mt child's safety.

[@kaycevictoria9947]

Whoa. Did I misunderstand? I thought she said if you don't exclusivity breastfeed then DO NOT co sleep? Dads never breastfeed. So if he's able to cosleep.. then any parents breast or formula fed can as well. Especially if I 3/4 breastfeed. Or was she just explaining a marketing ploy by formula companies?

[@mekinny8491]

If my baby sleep longer than 4 hr at night, I'd be so worry. I'm glad they dont. I bed share and breastfeed. We sleep so well since day one. But we gotta create a safe bedsharing environment while baby is still young.

[@Mamasmovemountains]

With the importance of co sleeping is there a difference between your baby cosleeping in the bed and your baby sleeping in a co sleeper bassinet? or do they have similar outcomes for mom and baby? I want to co sleep, but I am considering a bassinet cosleeper since we have 4 dogs and they occasionally jump on the bed.

[@ferndemelo]

Easier said than done. Some babies need to be soothed back to sleep, meaning they won't fall asleep on the breast and just go to sleep. Not to mention sometimes they have blowouts in the middle of the night and you have to change them, settle them back to sleep then yourself ...and in 40 minutes you might need to do it all again. So breastfeeding is not all you do at night, if that was it then you're right it would be so easy...

[@Yhwh1737]

Woah woah woah. Soooo much value in this content. Thankyou ladies. Really enjoyed! 👏

[@redfischer2519]

Thank you thank you thank you, thisninfo is gold, ive been sharing this video everywhere

[@SongChez8]

Great interview! I am also wondering if anyone can talk about co sleeping in colder climates. I am used to my cozy comforter when the temp drops here, not too much, it’s not terrible, but I prefer sleeping nude or with just a long sleeve shirt, so this might take some adjusting. Do I just bundle up? What about easy access to the breast with all the clothes? I don’t want to be uncomfortably chilly at night or get too stimulated taking clothes off. I guess we could keep the house warmer. Any tips would be much appreciated!

[@heyshayla]

Adult sleep sacks!

[@Lavenderr333]

I really love this thank you so much for the education and validation

[@RebeccaBancarz]

I want to take my daughter everywhere with me and let her have experiences but if she skips her nap she’s so cranky and she’s crying and I’m stressed out in public 😢

[@mckennarussell4510]

Have you tried baby wearing?! My babe is happy sleeping on my chest in the carrier

[@Maya-jh4me]

Don’t you still have to do diaper changes when cosleeping?

[@mckennarussell4510]

Yeah you just do it lying down. Sometime I wake up and laugh at the diaper being on a little crooked but I keep a bin of diapers and wipes on my nightstand and just change him while he’s latched.

[@vegone8894]

Co sleeping is so hard. The reason why i stopped nursing early. I couldn't do lack of sleep for having to adjust all night. I felt like i had to sleep like a stick cause then my baby was too big that i couldn't bend my knees. With my 1st baby, i coslept, 2nd he slept in his crib from day one. Now i have a new born again who is currently sleeping in his bassinet. I feel like he is too small to sleep with. So im still thinking about cosleeping or continuing to keep him in his own bed. So far. He stays asleep when i put him down.

[@pamschnakenburg2840]

Moms don't deep sleep after having babies, even as they grow. My grandson lives with me and I still don't deep sleep.

[@meowedith]

I cosleep with my 5 week old. Staying horizontal was mentioned so you don't wake up fully, but I've got to ask, what about middle of the night diaper changes? And burping baby after feeding? I also have fast letdown so it requires me to have to pinch my areola to help slow the flow. That being said I get significantly better sleep than when we attempted the bassinet, but just wondering about these situations

[@fed1239]

So so interesting and eye opening!

[@ailicec3855]

Thank you for this video!!!!!!!! 😮😭😫 I needed this!!! Wish I knew it with my first daughter!!!

[@徐茗]

Sorry I’ve been rambling, just want to share my thoughts. Nice podcast👍

[@jessmckale2794]

I wish I was one of those moms that got better sleep while co sleeping...not the case. :( My little does better in her own space and we both get more rest that way. I really wanted to love co sleeping and was guilty about it for a while but it didn't work for us (still feel guilty that it didn't work sometimes, but oh well).

[@heyshayla]

Girl! No guilt! If you’re sleeping better 👏👏👏