Co Sleeping Regrets?! Pros and Cons of bedsharing

[@heyshayla]

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[@jungtarcph]

Cereals spike insulting and make it more likely your kid will develop diabetes and become obese. Obese people are more likely to get cancer cancer. Google it.

[@jungtarcph]

Full on diabetes food 🍲

[@gidgetnuke107]

I needed to hear that it's okay to coexist and get housework done with them awake. I've felt so much mom guilt from cleaning and not exclusively paying attention to my six month old

[@heyshayla]

They like to observe. I’ll sometimes throw her in the high chair with snacks/ toy soo she can just watch

[@katelynnmarie5742]

My daughter (20 months) literally loves helping with the laundry. She doesn’t consider it a chore! I had a hard time too for the first 6-8mo. It gets easier!

[@gidgetnuke107]

@@heyshayla tried it today and gave him 3-4 whole grain baby Cheetos and I got dinner cooked and kitchen cleaned ❤️

[@Vic_Torii]

I was about to say the same ❤❤ just bought the audio book and looking forward to hearing what the author says. Thanks xx

[@ashjankins960]

I love cosleeping with babies. It’s the most natural feeling in the world. However, I loathe cosleeping with toddlers. Transition them out of my bed somewhere around 14 months. My toddlers have all be crazy sleepers, though.

[@brittanydavenport8702]

I’m definitely in the “don’t get sleep when I sleep with my kids” category. I don’t feel like it’s anxiety. It’s just that they’re…there. I don’t even sleep well with my husband, honestly. I’m very much a don’t touch me, don’t breathe near me, don’t look at me kind of person when I sleep. I really can’t stand it. I won’t sleep. I adore snuggling my kids but I just cannot sleep.

[@heyshayla]

😂👏👏👏

[@adriennewilliams4740]

I'm the same! I can't sleep when my husband's face is facing me HAHA!

[@tatjanaburdett2854]

Currently in bed at 7:30 pm with my 6 month old. I love it. I honestly look forward to this time every day. I struggled with sleep the whole time since she was born up until I started cosleeping. I have a friend whose baby has been sleeping in a crib, full 8-12 hour nights for months now. She never coslept. No regrets on my part for not following down that same path. I prefer this - it feels so natural! I sleep better and deeper, and my heart is overwhelmed constantly with her adorable little arms as they reach out to me in the middle of the night.

[@Bedrockssleep]

I love this! I agree, we don't talk enough about how every parenting choice has PROS AND CONS! There's no "right" way, there's just the way that's right for you!

[@JimenezB385]

Been LOVING the content lately very real and honest, and my absolute favorite part is that you’re never super extreme on anything you’re very awesome and open at giving both sides and perspectives

[@JimenezB385]

Also yesss make a logistical how to video!

[@jessirvington1946]

First time mom, I fell asleep a few times while breastfeeding in the first month or two of my baby’s life, could not believe how good it felt! It just felt so right and I felt the most rested. I slowly starting sleeping with her more. I’d let her fall asleep in the bed with me, than move her to the bassinet next to the bed, which I absolutely hated! She was literally as close to me as I could get the bassinet along the side of my mattress but still it was too far and I couldn’t sleep as well bc it felt wrong to me and I’d constantly wake up after finally fall asleep to check on her. Than from 4am on I’d let her sleep in the bed with me and all was well again. Next luckily I saw your video where you spoke about your fears of co sleeping, which completely connected with me and gave me the courage to try sleeping all night with her. It definitely was scary at first and at times still is bc she’s still under 6mos but now that I’m a few months into bed sharing I absolutely love it!!! She’s growing so fast but I feel like it helps me get the most out of this special time in our lives together and I’m getting better sleep. Thank you for your videos!!

[@teijaflink2226]

I'm personally concerned of turning in your sleep and sufficating your baby, what tge risk is? Even if cosleeping seems like a wonderful way to bond I think I would be too scared to do it because I always start sleeping on my side and when I wake up I'm on my back or other side, I never understand how I get there, so what is the risk I would turn on the baby instead, I suppose this risk is bigger if you're a deep sleeper and that it's good to know what type of sleepwr you are first.

[@jessirvington1946]

@@teijaflink2226 you’d probably really benefit from watching the video she has on this, that she mentioned. For me it goes exactly as they said it would. We deep sleep together and light sleep together. But by all means you need to do what works for you. I had the same fears which is why I started out slow with stages. Also I started without even knowing about bed sharing, it happened first naturally luckily in my bed where she was safe. Than I stumbled onto dr James McKennas research, which dr krysten Sommers inspired me to do and finally on the video mentioned above. For me it works amazingly well, I wish I had started doing it on day one. We also do on demand feedings and sleeping and we never have issues with her going to bed at night around the same time as us and she wakes up when do as well. Everyone in our family is constantly telling us they can’t believe how well we’re doing and how easy she is and I believe it’s bc we don’t force anything on her and actually let her tell us what she needs and when. We also from day always had her fall asleep on us or while feeding.

[@xavthomas]

I could have written this about my baby boy and me ❤

[@leza4453]

We modified our crib, so that it is open on one side and screwed to my bed. The mattress is seamlessly touching my matress and is on the same level. As the crib is not as long as my bed, there is no risk of me rolling over, but we can still breastfeed and cuddle. I found it a perfect solution for us. And a toddler who is tossing in their sleep has their own bed space to do so. Additionally, I found it helpful to not ingest any caffein or alcohol, that could have messed with my natural sleep cycle and the syncing of sleep. Caffein only helps in the short term with tiredness, we pay with less quality sleep, unfortunatly.

[@tessasutherland9233]

I’m 8 months pregnant with my first, but years ago, I was an au pair for a family in Switzerland for a year. They had a 6 month old, 2 year old and 3 1/2 year old when I arrived. All boys. The baby slept in a crib most of the night, then on a floor bed with mom to finish up the night. The two toddlers shared a queen size floor bed. We transitioned the baby to join them around 16 months old and added a twin mattress. Basically they all got sippy cups or a bottle of milk, then we went upstairs for teeth brushing, pajamas and books. Sometimes I would put them down and I would lay on the bed with baby on one side and toddlers on the other. I would read three books, then sing softly until at least the baby and one toddler was asleep. The last toddler would then be left to fall asleep on their own. Without a sibling to play with, that usually happened pretty fast. It wasn’t always perfect and sometimes their mom ended up needing to join them for the latter part of the night, but within a few months, they all slept together really well. So totally doable.

[@aliciaanderson3622]

I totally respect every mother's personal choices in parenting! I just have to say, to me personally this sounds like my own version of hell. My baby goes to bed in his own room, in his own crib between 6:30PM and 7:30 PM and wakes up between 7:00AM and 8:00AM every morning. We had a few regressions, but in general that's our routine. I love him so so much, but we both need our sleep. 👶🏼 Happy you found something that works for your family!

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏 and I’m stoked you found what works for you. Even more stoked you’re a supportive mom of someone who does something different than you. Wr need more like you 🙌🙌

[@loveJesus9733]

Working Mom here. Cosleeping has 100% been the best thing for us. I get that bonding time I miss out on during the days, plus we all get more sleep. My 2yo is now STTN about half of the time and it makes my husband so sad because they always cuddle at night now. 2nd baby due any day and this was a good reminder that I will no longer have my evenings to myself 🤪

[@maritzah.4039]

Yes exactly!! I’m going back to work from maternity leave soon and I honestly think this is why I’m probably going to continue to co-sleep! Because of the time I will miss out on with my son during the day and because I’ll probably get an average of 3 hours of sleep a night if I don’t co-sleep😅 not safe to drive to and from work when being that sleep deprived 😮‍💨

[@clairetomes617]

Love snuggling my baby, but sometimes she’s just too much wanting to constantly nurse and waking up every time my husband or I move. A big con for me is that I don’t get to snuggle my husband as much. But I am glad to be co sleeping because I like feeling close with her.

[@lydianichols5333]

I so appreciated this perspective. Cosleeping gives me major anxiety but this was helpful to understand what works in other families! Our 18 month old has been happily sleeping through the nights in his crib since 6 months and it was the best choice for our family ❤️

[@kimb9287]

Can I just say I love you! Every time I watch your videos I feel so good about myself as a mom, so than you!! Wanted to add that sleep doesn't have to be either or! We start off nursing with baby in the crib and then when he wakes up later that night I'll bring him into bed with me and we'll cosleep until morning! So I get the best of both worlds.

[@heyshayla]

👏👏👏👏

[@courtneywootton4641]

I love, love, love how open you are about co-sleeping considering it’s a taboo topic. I’ve been doing it since my son was 3mo and have been a little back and forth about whether to do it or not. This video has definitely cemented my decision to co-sleep. You’re right, it is a season of our lives and I feel it’s only beneficial for our babies. Others might not feel that way, but that’s okay, everyone parents differently.

[@WildWeRoam]

can't explain how much joy this video gave me :)

[@midorisour2844]

Love this! My husband and I sleep in different rooms sometimes not because of our baby-but because of our cat! She always wakes him up and he can't handle it. Two well-rested (or at least better-rested) adults can make family life much happier. It's sad that the stigma of "sleeping in separate bedrooms" can actually prevent people from making the right choice for their family.

[@hiya511]

I co slept with my daughter till she was around 6months ❤️ I loved !!!! She was cluster feeding on demand felt like 24/7 lol but now she's in her own room and sleeps from 7pm till 7 sometimes 8am 😍 she's 1 now. Yes definitely had more sleep also ♥️

[@mariadiehl6684]

Coslept for a few months with our daughter until I started waking up feeling tired and sore most mornings, then we adjusted to room sharing using a crib. Due with our second in a few months and plan to see how cosleeping goes with him! The two will be 15months apart and my goal is also having the two share a bed when baby is old enough. I would love to hear your plans and experience if you end up having the girls share! I feel like it’s so hard to find people talking about these crunchy, natural things but that’s where your awesome content is a lifesaver!!

[@NaturallyMermaid]

I recently started sleeping with my 7 week old, and like you, it was not part of the plan but we both sleep better. I don’t know how long we’re going to do it but it works for now. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[@stephaniedorval5856]

Thank you for talking about this! We co-sleep with our 2.5 year old son and we love it so much. I definitely miss the “me” time sometimes and alone time with my husband, but we’re with you in that we both know that this is a phase of life. It’s not permanent and one day we’ll miss it oh so terribly.

[@mlwsmp]

The 1 pro that keeps me going is snuggling with him almost all the time. He can't nap if it's not a contact nap. So we are stuck like glue. He's my only boy and my girls are grown ups. I want to treasure every day because I know how fast it goes.

[@sometimesyaya5110]

I sleep in a nursing sweatshirt and roll up the blanket under my back for that support. It covers my feet. Stays out of the way for baby and helps my back. Game changer

[@mekaelle7427]

I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old (we co-sleep) and I swear if I closed my eyes and watched this video….. I would think it was me talking. Everything you said is soooooo SPOT ON!!!

[@Ariadnethedreamer]

12:08 yes to that more intentional practice of connection! We are 4 months in to this parenthood thing and both love co-sleeping, but have been missing that pre-kid QT. ALSO, your content helped me solidify the choice to cosleep and we are all grateful for it.

[@maritzah.4039]

Same here!! Have you been able to find ways to connect with your partner?? I’m asking because I’m still figuring this part out 🥴

[@loganthompson5374]

FTM mom here! I co-sleep with my baby too! I have since he was a few weeks old. It just felt right and when people ask me how he sleeps I tell them, “Great! Because he sleeps with me” which is the truth. He’s teething a just turned 4 months so the past two weeks have been rough but normally he sleeps sooo well and so do my husband and I! My baby only stirs when it’s time to nurse and then he’ll fall back asleep. It is wonderful beyond words. At first I was “afraid” of what people would say but now I openly tell them we let our baby sleep with us. I use it as an educational moment rather than cringing at what I think they’ll say such as “you’re spoiling him”🙄 he’s a baby for crying out loud. He needs his mama and daddy. Anyway! Thank you for your content Shay! It’s nice to have a “discussion” with another mom and hear your points of view!

[@vanjaschoch-mikami3188]

Yes, please make a detailed overview of logistics with two co-sleeping children!!!!! I'd love to hear what you do.

[@carolineguanrra]

Although open minded my initial idea was to have my baby to sleep on his crib in my room however I started co- sleeping with my baby right after he was 2 months.. suddenly he would just sleep if it was in my arms, and along with it he got UTI a little bit later. So to care for him instead of the crib, he started to sleep with me in the same bed and it all worked naturally. Now at almost five months i started sleep training him to sleep on his crib again as he started to roll. So what i did was to have the crib on a day bed mode, which is having one side of the crib without the rail and put the beds together..but sometimes i still sleep in same bed.. just love it both ways!

[@themcnears]

Yes to all of this. I've coslept with all 3 of my kids and I've loved it (albeit of course there is cons to match the pros of it). That season of their lives is so short, to be able to nurse and have them close meant so much to both of us.

[@arieljayde7486]

I started co sleeping when my son turned 6 months and it’s been a year now. I LOVE it. My husband and I are intentional about connecting and finding time for intimacy. We both sleep so much better having our little guy with us. It’s also very convenient for breastfeeding because my son can wake up, have a drink and fall right back asleep in our bed.

[@rebeccarohmeyer4463]

Love this video and your other content!! My girl is 10 months old and my husband and I both work outside the home, so she's at daycare all day during the week. I love bedsharing/cosleeping with her because of the snuggles, it's our time to bond, and it is just so much easier! I personally couldn't handle getting up out of bed multiple times a night to put her back to sleep, I was so sleep deprived. Thanks for also talking about cosleeping with two kids. We plan to have another child sometime in the next couple of years and I've stressed myself out thinking about how cosleeping would work with a toddler and a baby. I love the idea of having the kids eventually cosleep together!

[@maritzah.4039]

Omggg thanks for your comment! Encouraging because that’s about to be my life after my maternity leave is over. Thank you❤️

[@maureenhourigan]

This is so helpful! I have been bedsharing and nursing with our 32 month old since birth and we are expecting another in September. I've been so worried about making it work with a toddler and newborn so I needed this video! A logistics video would be great lol

[@cnlepine82]

This gives me so much relief! We’re talking about having another, but my husbands schedule is crap. Knowing that I can possibly bedshare with both kiddos successfully gives me such hope! Love this and your tips on making it work.

[@jackiemarsh8469]

I would LOVE a legit logistics video haha! Expecting my second this year, and I find all of your content so helpful and comforting. ❤️

[@RachaelMorton95]

We co-sleep with our 5 month old and, while it means I have an early bedtime, she currently stays asleep when I get up around 4:30/5a. I’m a morning person naturally so this has been working so well for us! I agree with what you said about treasuring the time because you won’t get it back. We plan to sleep train her once she gets too wiggly at night or if she starts waking up with me, so I’m soaking in every moment! ❤ Also, thank you for what you said about intentional time with your partner! Made me realize we’ve kinda been doing our own thing and need to be intentional about creating space for connection.

[@shagh89]

I love that you shared this. I'm the only one of my friends that actually embraced co sleeping with my son so I felt like we were doing something wrong for such a long time. I went back to work when he was 4 months old so it saved me so much. He would wake up and I would just bring him to bed with us and he would sleep right away and all night until it was time to get up in the morning. We tried sleep training and it cost us a lot of frustration and tears. Decided it wasn't for us. My son now falls asleep in a toddler bed in our bedroom snuggled with me and then I can leave him to sleep. If he wakes up at night, he just crawls into bed with us and sometimes I don't even notice until the next morning. We are expecting a baby girl in June so we will see how things go. I'm thinking we will be cosleeping with 2 of them so I'm so happy you shared this!

[@andreab7270]

Love this video ! I had such a hard time with this topic until I read the book Sweet Sleep from the La Leache League. Cosleeping was life changing for me. Zero regrets.

[@heyshayla]

Yes!!!

[@GJess09]

Thank you for this! You make me feel like my life is normal! I’ve been struggling with the coming back a couple times before she really goes to sleep and it’s so comforting knowing it’s completely normal!

[@brickbrow]

Cosleeping has been so good and connection for us 💛 Some days I definitely wish I could sprawl out in bed by myself but in all reality these days with my little one won’t last long. I don’t insist cosleeping is for everyone but unapologetically, it is awesome for us. Idc if it’s taboo anymore.

[@dana8208]

I was terrified of co-sleeping with my first and we used all of the movement monitors because I had severe Post Partum Anxiety and was so afraid of SIDS. We also had to formula feed with our first. Now with our second, I have been able to breast feed and I just found that post partum was so much easier this time around and everything just came more natural. It was a slow transition to co-sleeping this time and I have zero regrets. Absolutely love having our little one next to me and all of the extra sleep I get ♥️

[@valeanne]

Co-sleeping has been the norm since the beginning of human existence, and is still the norm in many countries to this day. It's only in the western societies where they make it "normal" for babies to sleep alone. Follow your heart and your instincts, and not what you're told by others

[@missloretta]

Grateful for this video. I only co-slept for 4 or 5 months and then room shared and night nursed until 14/15 months. Basically I kept my baby as close as my new mom anxiety made me and now I'm so grateful he's in his own room. I honestly don't like to snuggle anyone at night, but I agree it helped me get more sleep in those first few months.

[@Kasumistern]

I remember the co-sleeping days and I remember loving and hating it at the same time. Mostly for some of the same pros and cons. At some point in time I figured out that baby gets better sleep alone (we kept waking him up) and now I only sleep in the same bed when he is teething or something. He has a floorbed now. Which I wish I had done earlier, because it's so easy to just snuggle that little guy back to sleep. So that's my preferred sleeping arrangement now and I cannot recommend this enough for people who like to co-sleep sometimes, but not all the time.

[@laelladickerson5905]

Love the huckleberry app. Ftm of a 2 week old and it just puts me at ease being able to track sleep, feedings, diaper changes..etc

[@GirlMamaOf3]

3 babies in and we have bed shared with all 3. It was not the plan with the first baby. She had bad gas problems and would only sleep on her dad's chest for 3 months. So HE actually slept with her first. He'd pass her over to feed, I'd pass her back for 'safety'. Until once we fell asleep together and I never wanted to change it again. She was the least fussy she had ever been. Even with her tummy problems we ALL slept soo much better. We moved her out easily around 6 months. My second moved out of the bed with difficulty around 14 months. My third is still in bed with us around 7months and we are not ready to change that yet.

[@SamJam92]

Cosleeping saved my life - I was 100% against it, but my husband insisted after I kept falling asleep with my babe in the rocking chair (he had colic, reflux, a tongue and lip tie, was cluster feeding, etc.). I didn’t realize how much cosleeping would help my postpartum depression and anxiety. That being said, it’s been hard now that he’s 13 months and we can’t put him down (even in a floor bed or rolling away). Definitely pros and cons that are not shared openly.

[@neeveve]

Oh man I need the me time, only slept with my daughter a couple of times and did not enjoy it in the slightest lol. I need the me time in the evenings and at night so I can be a better mother when shes awake! I appreciate you sharing cons too i feel like this topic is very polarising

[@Molls784]

Thank you for talking about this! Everything you said was spot on. I always say my two boys 2.5yr and 5months can’t go to sleep without each other lol we used to try to get our baby to sleep before our toddler and he would refuse until his brother was in bed also. You’re awesome Mama!

[@abigailcarlson1292]

Love your channel and podcast! I've learned so much and am now.... crunchy

[@heyshayla]

😂😂😂🙌🙌🙌

[@brendachavez3652]

Omg thank you for giving the pillow tip! I definitely need to put a pillow on my back when nursing my baby while co-sleeping! It’s in pain!!!

[@MeYou-lc7ed]

Oh, PLEASE do a video on the logistics of co-sleeping with two! Currently pregnant with my second and have the same question - how?? 🤷‍♀️😅

[@heyshayla]

I talk about it a little in “sleep gave me so much anxiety” video but I think I’ll do a dedicated one too!

[@MeYou-lc7ed]

Thanks for the info, I‘ll check out that video. ❤

[@frankiebee2980]

I would totally co sleep if I could, but I does not work! First, my kids always threw up all their milk when nursing side-lying! What am I doing wrong? They always need a burp or they lose it all. Then also, I cannot sleep well with a baby in there! I change positions all night. During pregnancy, that’s my least fav part, the fact that I’m limited to only two positions. So as soon as pregnancy is over I am ECSTATIC that I can move around and let loose when I sleep! Baby in my bed totally kills that dream. And finally, I have forgotten my kid was in there with me and given him an elbow to the face when moving and I felt terrible! I just wish it worked for me, but it just doesn’t 😩😩😩

[@natalia1045]

Ive been co sleeping with all my three kids and can’t imagine doing it otherwise. I even have a crib next to my bed and don’t use it. I hate when people say it’s risk hazard because it’s not. If you take care of yourself and don’t do drugs, don’t drink alcohol etc there is no way you could harm your baby.

[@heyshayla]

Preach!

[@pitounesky7604]

I'm a first time mom. Baby is now 6 months. I didn't planned initially to co-sleep, but it was necessary at one point for my mental health and my sleep. My little one had so much trouble sleeping in her co-sleeper bassinet next to my bed. Initially, it was GERD (she couldn't sleep on a flat surface), then she was waking up each time I wanted to put her back asleep in the bassinet after breastfeeding. I was so stressed about bedsharing with SIDS risk, but it was the only way everyone (baby, spouse and I) could sleep for a while. I tried to do it the safest way I could after informing myself on the subject. Then, around 4 months, baby started to move more and I was getting uncomfortable. At 5 months, we decided to transition her in her room (with baby monitor) and our sleep was better. I still keep the cuddles and I breastfeed in our bed in the early morning. 🥰 This experience made me more humble and understandable of motherhood reality. With my next child, I think I will be much more relaxed about co-sleeping/bedsharing knowing it's only for a season on life (and that I won't necessarily kill my child 😆). I learned to be more flexible for sure!

[@MultiDaisy1995]

I wish I could go back to new postpartum me and tell myself “It IS OK to co-sleep”. Every time I co-slept I felt so much more rested & relaxed…. it felt natural. The bassinet felt so cold. I would sleep with my arm hanging over the bassinet to maintain contact with her. It was so uncomfortable & I woke up constantly to check on her every time she moved. Eventually, my wife & I ditched the bassinet & did a mix of crib & co-sleeping. Naps & bedtime were typically in the crib. When she woke at night, I transferred her to our bed. ❤ I can honestly say that I LOVE co-sleeping. It takes her longer to fall asleep initially, but we all sleep better once she falls asleep. I BF our daughter, so I think she takes longer to fall asleep because she keeps wanting more milk. She’s out in about 5-10 min when my (non-breastfeeding) wife puts her to bed.

[@cariiinen]

So helpful to hear your experience and to read through the comments! We started with accidental bed sharing when baby was tiny out of sheer exhaustion. And once we both got the hang of side-lying breastfeeding, I was able to get so much more rest that way, which I was so desperate for. At 7 months, we're still waking up a LOT throughout the night and I'm finding myself wishing for more sleep. Might try something different to see if it helps (though unsure about the prospect of having to get up out completely when he needs me). If that doesn't work: will keep enjoying the bed sharing cuddles for as long as this season of our life lasts.

[@juliedoherty6894]

YES!!! This is exactly my life right now ❤ I’m currently co sleeping with my two girls - 26 months and 9 months. Tandem feeding. How you described the bed set up- that is me right now! (Living in Ireland). Baby latched on most of the night. Toddler wants to hold my hand after she feeds to sleep. I so love this time with them. and like you I have to come re settle the baby twice before she goes into deep sleep. I love that I’m right there for all their needs. Instantly. I think the only con I’ve had so far is when I aaa unwell before Xmas and was almost hospitalised. I panicked thinking how will they manage. Husband sleeps in a separate bed. In the end I was sorted out by ambulance at home and didn’t need to go in but it did make me think about our nighttime set up… we didn’t change it as it completely works for us!!!❤

[@BrummyGirl37c]

Great video, I really love your content and your perspective on motherhood. Very relatable and realistic. I've taken a lot of brilliant advice from your videos. My eldest daughter turns 3yrs old in April and my youngest daughter is 1 in July, very similar to your beauties. I empathise with you deeply, breastfeeding stay at home mom cosleeping. I'm currently in burnout/overstimulated mode and have decided to take myself away this weekend to a countryside spa hotel to restore and be pampered, alone! I know after this short break I'll come home re-energised with even more patience and love to give. This will also be the start of our 'stopping' breastfeeding journey

[@sallypalmer1616]

Its really nice to hear your experience. We just decided to keep the family bed situation with our second child on the way. But a lot of things are different for us (with our first one). He sleeps in his own bed which is attached to ours, so we can comfort and snuggle him but he is just allowed to lie between me and my husband in the morning hours (~3am). I really enjoy it when he wakes up between us. But since he falls asleep in his own bed with only little cuddling, I can get up again and still have the oppertunety to watch a movie with my husband and cuddle with him when we get to bed ourselves. I am really really courious if and how our dynamic will change as soon as baby nr 2 is there. The good thing is that our son is already used to sleeping next to my husband so my side is free right now (also nice for the pregnant whale to role out of bed 🤣)

[@alissatoro8829]

I’ve coslept with both my kids but only for the first 4 months and we used a bed bassinet that had a firm base and elevated sides so no risk of parent rolling over on baby. Because baby was in its own bed in our bed it made physical touch( hand on hand or hand on leg) help baby and me sleep easier. Once four months we did a crib next to the bed. That worked for us but luckily I’m a super light sleeper.

[@jesseriley282]

I kinda want to cosleep with my next baby this is. Helpful

[@chelsealynn90]

Love this! Great pros and cons! We’ve been co sleeping with our daughter she’s almost 22 months.. co sleeping since last summer.. I will never go back lol.. it’s so comforting and cozy to have her in the middle of my husband and I. Con for me I don’t get like a full 8 hours cause I constantly wake up like 6 times a night lol when she moves or gets up I wake up super quick ha.. but I love it tho, it’s the best. I am finding myself staying up until like midnight watching my shows on my phone, that’s my “me” time. It works.. or on the weekends she falls asleep like after 9 and my husband and I go out in the living room and have us time.. while watching her on the camera of course.. it definitely works for our family. Your right it’s the season and one day everything will be different and our kids won’t want to cuddle us anymore ha!! Your great and enjoy the snuggles 😊😊

[@ayeletarzouan6610]

I'm curious why you didn't mention the main con which is safety... Sure, safe sleep seven can make bedsharing less dangerous, but it's still one of the main causes of sleep related deaths for infants...

[@heyshayla]

Hmm curious where your statistic is from

[@stephaniewolf638]

🥰 I watched your other videos on cosleeping and would love a logistics video if you're still thinking about it!! I'm expecting #2 and while my first is sleeping on her own fine right now, sleep stressed me out SO SO much with her that I want to have all of my options in mind for this baby's temperament and having 2 under 2 for a few months 😅Love your candid approach to these videos!

[@emlamotte8890]

We co-sleep with our 10 month old, love it. the cons are very true and real but it feels so natural and right it’s worth it. - Also would like to give a shout out to your podcasts they are so great. The ideas and people you interview are everything I’ve been looking for 🙏 check them out mom’s!

[@heyshayla]

Amazing thank you!!!!

[@vkrish4177]

I’m still using my pregnancy pillow to cosleep with my baby. Provides that back rest at least when she’s feeding from one side.

[@claudiaaegsidone]

I like the Hunt Gather Parent style as well where you get all your stuff done while they're awake, which is easier when a kid can help, but what about with newborns? I'm having trouble figuring this out.

[@heyshayla]

Oh man it’s hard! I do a lot of work during carrier naps

[@QueerlyMama]

I was also an accidental cosleeper. At first I had my newborn in the bassinet next to me but once I mastered the side lying breastfeed and could get her latched without turning a light on I would fall back asleep while she was feeding and then wake up when she did for the next fed. At first I worried about it but then gave into it and agreed it helped me get more sleep cause her nighttime feeds were so much less disruptive. Somewhere around the 6month mark as she was rolling over and becoming wigglier she started not sleeping well in bed with us. I tried to ride it out for awhile but eventually decided to try putting her in her crib (she already slept there for naps so it was a familiar place) it was like magic. She was immediately down and sleeping for about 9 solid hours then 1 feed and then 3 more hours. I started pumping right before I went to bed to give my wife a bottle and we would trade off on who did that 4am feed so we each got an uninterrupted nights sleep every other night. I miss having her in bed with us and when I hear you talk about the cuddles and her waking up asking for snuggles my heart longs for that. But I also know I did what was right for our babe. She sleeps better this way which means we all feel better and have better time together. I miss the cuddles but we find other times and places to still get them. My wife gets her up every morning and brings her into bed for morning milkie and we nurse and cuddle in the morning before starting our day.

[@papabear5506]

With our first i couldn't understand why everyone kept asking us if we were getting any sleep 😂 i slept more than i ever did before kids because we coslept! 😊

[@heyshayla]

😂😂😂 RIGHT?!!!

[@brendaomeze6851]

So relatable!(and that's why I watch your videos) Love it! Had to laugh at how spot on the monkey in the middle was 😂 and this is why I stopped having the toddler in bed with me..but good that it works for you and you're comfortable with it 👍

[@alissahartlaub4445]

100 percent agree with this...I can't get anything done and feel like I have no me time but I loved co sleeping! (Till I didn't) also the baby rooting around woke me up more than just getting up to nurse and have her go back to sleep. Good video

[@danahabeez]

We started co-sleeping on day 1 and we are at 8 months now. It was really great for a while and in the past few weeks I feel like I’m dying. Baby wakes me up all night and takes forever to settle, she kicks me constantly and I usually get to the point of being wide awake and have a hard time falling back asleep after she’s been up for a while. I don’t know what I am doing wrong and I’m desperate for sleep, but I know putting her in her crib will be an absolute nightmare. I listened to your podcast on co-sleeping and it makes it all just sound perfect and magical- so either I have a goblin baby or I’m doing something wrong.

[@heyshayla]

Hahahaha I don’t think you have a goblin baby and I know you aren’t doing anything wrong. Every baby is just different. You could try putting a floor bed on the bed in your room for her? Maybe sleeping with you is waking her up? I’ve heard co sleeping moms say that about some of their babies and not others!

[@danahabeez]

@@heyshayla omg yes thank you. I think I am waking her/ disturbing her sleep too! This weekend we are putting the mattress on the floor and putting a floor bed for the babe next to it. Can grab her easily if I need to but have a bit more distance. Hopefully we will all get more sleep ❤️

[@shannonvananda9198]

I agree with all of this 100% but also what about not being able to spend a night away from them? Especially having 2 now, I sleep with our 3 year old and 1 year old and the 3 year old still refuses to sleep at his Grandma’s house without me. I have so many mom friends that will spend a night away as early as 5 or 6 months and I just cannot wrap my head around hoooow. When it comes to burn out and getting “me” time I think the ability to spend a night or two away every few months would be huge for me. But cosleeping definitely wins for us when it comes to day to day life.

[@emilyalbert7910]

We put our 1 year old down in her crib and then she comes to bed with us later whenever she wakes up and we’re ready to go to bed. So we still get our evenings to ourselves which is nice. But I definitely feel all the other cons.

[@heyshayla]

Love that!

[@maritzah.4039]

Good for you! Been trying to get my 2 month old to go to sleep in his bassinet for the beginning of the night. He’s definitely fighting it and crying like crazy. 😢 Soooo we will see if this even is a possibility 😅 sounds like the best of both worlds to me!

[@kathrynd8055]

Thank you for ur amazing videos, personality, and the effort u put into all of this. So appreciated and I hope u and ur family are happy and healthy!

[@heyshayla]

I appreciate you so much. Thank you for this ❤️

[@_pandacecelya_]

As a non-co-sleeping parent, I love that you were honest about the pros and cons of co-sleeping! I think another con is not being able to do things at night with friends like going out etc. I highly value being able to do that as a mom.

[@heyshayla]

Omg so true!!

[@tylerressler2054]

I love your perspective!!! This is what we do with our two babies also.

[@valjo15]

Two twins should be about the size of a king if you use a mattress cover and sheet it should hold it together and still be able to do a floor bed and room for you during the transition.

[@kimberlyv5370]

Huckleberry has been a godsend and I haven't even used it for a full week yet.

[@andreaaldrich4046]

I think it's more safe to not cosleep but I the idea of not sleeping next to my toddler makes me really anxious and sad.

[@salenahontz8001]

I loved this video sooooo much! Thank u for sharing. I related to it so much. ❤

[@villedesroses]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do a video on co sleeping with two. Thinking about adding another baby don’t want to kick my toddler out of the bed until she’s ready. 😢

[@heyshayla]

The cosleeping podcast would be great for you you! Natalie did a family bed / room with 4!

[@julietteceku7554]

How did your oldest handle the Newborn being awake a lot at night during those first couple months? That's my biggest worry for when we add another baby. Right now, we cosleep with our 5 month old daughter and LOVE it.

[@heyshayla]

She didn’t flinch

[@meijo206]

I don't know where to go with my questions, so I thought I'll just try this community 😅 My daughter is 15 months old. We co slept / bed shared until she was 12 months old. My partner would prefer her sleeping in her own room now but I am unsure. She takes naps in her own room (we have a floor bed) and I put her down their for the night around 7pm as well. She usually sleeps until 10/10:30 and gets up to nurse. Most of the times I just bring her to our bed then and she stays there. Since I still nurse and am a stay at home mum right now it is working like this. The problem is that she will start day care in two months in order for me to go back to work in four. I work shifts in a hospital so there will be nights where I just come home around 11ish on or even night shifts... So my husband is not on board any more with co sleeping. I won't be able to be here and enforce it, nor to nurse her every night in four months... I guess my questions are : Do you guys think I should transition her to sleep in her own room? Should I try to night wean her? Will it all just come naturally any ways? Has anyone expierience with a situation like this? Thank you and love from Germany xoxo

[@heyshayla]

Gahhh so stressful! I don’t have the right answer. We did night wean around 12 months and continued day nursing. What will he do when she cries in the night? A bottle? Comfort her? I think you could still cosleep, I would think she’d learn when you’re there vs not. But this is a personal opinion / suggestion with no real info or knowledge or experience behind it. You want to do whatever would make the baby most comfortable. You may only know how she is at night once it happens. I’m a big fan of going to the baby when she needs you which is why my vote is contiene to sleep with her when you’re home. Gah that’s a tough one. Sorry I have not good advice

[@tashansofwa2426]

I would love to hear more on the pros and cons of co sleeping on your relationship, how has it affected your relationship or not, how do you carve out time together when have to go to bed at 8pm etc etc

[@heyshayla]

I touched on it at the end of this video ❤️

[@katelynnmonty3853]

I also loooove the snuggles

[@bobacabuja]

So i have a baby, actually a toddler now, that will cry if we try to cosleep 😂 he really likes his own bed and also doesnt prefer to sleep in our arms. Honestly its a bit sad sometimes, but also just to add to this story, every child is different.

[@heyshayla]

Thank you for sharing!!

[@miahmill1019]

I appreciate this video❤ really put it in perspective for me

[@silverdeer2515]

We co slept all together till little one was 4 months ish and I stopped sleeping as well. But we moved her to a floor bed and then if she needed me I would sleep with her there over night and that was the best. I really like having the option on sleeping with her but also really need my cuddle time with my husband and my own bed

[@courtneydailey4364]

I love this! Do you track sleep at night? That feels stressful to me, but I track during the day! Also think the phone light wakes baby up even more at night

[@heyshayla]

Just when the fall asleep and wake up in the morning unless it’s like 30+ min awake

[@Lena-nc3fm]

love the video! I totally love co-sleeping. I started as I couldn't be bothered to get up all the time to feed and then it would take forever to get her (baby girl, 5months now) back to sleep. Co sleeping, I pick her up, boob her and before she hits my shoulder to have her milk settle she's asleep again. the best thing is waking up to her smiling at me! my partner leaving over me to look at her and she then smiling at him! HOWEVER, she just started rolling... and roll she does! but only onto her belly, not back! gives me anxiety that she can't roll back!!!

[@tinekecarlson1220]

I'm able to get up in the morning without my toddler and baby waking up. It really depends on the child and consistency. If you do it, the babies will get used to it and sleep. It might take a little time though, because I was in the 'can't get up' boat when my toddler was a baby.

[@heyshayla]

Good to know!!

[@tinekecarlson1220]

​@@heyshaylaRight now we seem to have nighttime sleep down, but my toddler has been nap-striking since my baby was born (14 weeks), so I watched your sleep training video to give me some encouragement. It took a while but he fell asleep! The peace of mind when both your babies are asleep is out of this world. 🙂

[@trompijoe]

thank you for this!

[@taymeraa]

new mom at 39w 4days and due soon, i want to co sleep so this is helping a lot

[@heyshayla]

Search heyshayla podcast cosleeping. It’s such a great interview and resource!!

[@SJ-fm6dg]

I co sleep with my almost 5 and 2 year olds and it has its challenges for sure but I couldn’t imagine not having them in bed with me. Love that you talk about this so openly. Very interested to see if your kids do enjoy sharing a bed together, i don’t think mine could do that unless they were older still 😂

[@Bunny422MM]

Very helpful, thank you!

[@kaylinlarson8349]

Count me as another vote in favor of that logistics video!

[@angelarose7925]

Your toddler doesn't want to nurse with being so close and knowing that the baby is nursing? I'm struggling to wean my toddler (20mo) and even if he was fully weaned I could see him wanting to get back to it because the baby is.

[@heyshayla]

We weaned before the baby got here so she’s never asked

[@kaycevictoria9947]

Ahhh i had to use the pillow like that. The way we situate our bodies to feed baby lying down is amazing.. and painful. I still have neck shoulder pain sometimes.. from looking at baby while she eats?

[@summerhillenburg4837]

Wow so much validation with this video thank you! I love having my kids in bed