How to feel MORE confident as a mom (when you don't) 7 TIPS

[@mommybreakdown]

Shayla out here trying to break the mom shame in society. We can learn and grow without tearing ourselves and each other down. LOVE IT!!!

[@heyshayla]

This makes me so much more happy than you could understand ❤️❤️❤️🙌🙌🙌

[@mommybreakdown]

@@heyshayla I’m an itty bitty channel trying to be a part of the movement. You inspire me! We need more of this out there on social media. Thank you for being freakin awesome.

[@heyshayla]

All channels start out as itty bitty! Keep going🙌

[@mommybreakdown]

@@heyshayla aw thanks. I appreciate the encouragement

[@brickbrow]

I would love a Podcast conversation on the word "safe" in parenting. It's a trigger for people, it's subjective to a degree, it's why helicopter mom's get in your business because their threshold of "safe" and your own are different. We cosleep/bedshare and I get extreme responses from some because "i'm not doing safe sleep" and yet, I've done my homework and make an intentional decision that I believe IS safe for my daughter. "Safe" is tricky when it's funded by a capitalistic baby market of items and research is funded by manufacturers of baby items who have a clear conflict of interest. Safe is an illusion, there is a degree of risk in every. single. scenario. I believe as a parent you really are making constant tradeoff decisions on what degree of risk you're wiling to accept to feel safe.

[@kimb9287]

One thing that has helped me and I try to remind other moms too, is that babies don't know how to read. They've never read a baby developmental book and they don't know when they should be doing a certain thing by a certain time. They will do it at their own pace. And guidelines are just that, guidelines. Not hard-and-fast rules

[@audreygillean443]

I am my worst critic. I have a supportive husband and family but am constantly questioning how I mother. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and NEEDED this video. Thank you, Shayla!!!

[@luedkepack]

In under 8 seconds Shayla making me cry because that's all the support I need 🥹 your videos give me so much confidence in my choices that go against the grain when all I hear is negativity from others.

[@mdavidson117]

8:28 “…I’m so immature” 🤣🤣 You’re my fave

[@SamJam92]

#1 is so good. I think I used to judge other moms as a defense mechanism to justify that *I* was doing the right thing. Now I have mom friends who do things differently than me and it’s OKAY. It’s hard no matter what. ❤️

[@MarissaMaguire]

Thank you for mentioning having multiples as a reason that might make something not work for our family. The sadness of not doing the things I wanted to do with my twins (because having two babies with complications versus the one full-term baby) is overwhelming. My spouse keeps trying to remind me that we’re doing the absolute best we can with the resources we have, but the guilt remains. This video was helpful. Thank you.

[@heyshayla]

Plus they’ll always have each other the way singletons won’t!

[@kayoss2306]

I've thought about this before. I'm a breastfeeding, bed sharing kind of Mama, but if I had multiples I wouldn't be surprised if I was a formula feeding, sleep training kind of Mama. Even having the one baby I feel like I'm just in survival mode most of the time, I think Moms of multiples must be god damn superheroes and however you manage to make things work, you're doing a great job. Please don't ever feel guilty, we all have different circumstances.

[@Bedrockssleep]

Yes! You can change what you're doing with your child at any time! Love this.

[@ashleyburch1338]

Wooooow needed this so much! I wish every mom on every Facebook mom group would watch this 😅

[@annarocha3254]

The more mom friends I make the more I realize we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

[@iheartcherrydrops]

I really needed to hear some of these! I have a 2 week old who I love more than I thought possible, but it's been so hard and I definitely need to gain more confidence with him!

[@Ciera3823]

It is possible to like this video more than once. I just gave birth to baby #2 10 days ago and I was feeling good about how things were going but after s lactation appointment it seemed to make my world collapse and I started doubting everything. That k you for the tips and normalizing so many things.

[@CandyAppleUT789]

I love to have a clean space but specifically the kitchen, living and bathroom. I also love to brush my hair and braid it.

[@prisssci01]

you have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you !!

[@khadidjadk3500]

Ommg I'm a mom of a 1month old, and it's exactly what I told my husband, i told him that this experience humbled me a loooott😂😂

[@kaycevictoria9947]

HA I come to my husband with ideas from the internet & he says, "What? Seriously?" I may feel defensive for a moment until I realize what I'm doing is just fine! A lot of the time just being present & going with what feels right is best, agreed! Perfect video today, thanks!! Now just have to train my 4 month old to nap alone.

[@krokopa90]

I needed this video so much that I even cried towards the end. Thank you Shayla!

[@abigailstahl7603]

Love the haircut…convinced me to chop mine. I’ve been wanting to do it for so long. Long hair is just not practical for me as a mom. It’s constantly messy and has food in it from the toddler😂

[@kennydianabrown7359]

This is my favorite video you've done. I've ways liked you but whenever you lable yourself in any way, you isolate other people. I like that here you validate others while being yourself. 🙌

[@ericagrant2627]

Thanks for including the comments about mulitples! As a twin mom I've learned to live and let live with others because I can see how hard it is for others to understand my why so even if I don't understand someone elses I know it doesn't matter because not my family not my business. :)

[@cnlepine82]

You’re last few videos have been so lovely! You’re energy and kindness is palpable. Would love to see a video about the activities with your girls!

[@angelakamps191]

You are what I need to hear! Thank you so much!

[@MusicIsMyAeroplane09]

3:34 should've been the thumbnail 😉😉😉 this look conveyed how I feel a lot of the time too! 😂

[@gracetaylor6309]

Shayla you are awesome for creating a space online where it really does feel non judgmental. I watch your videos about what you’re doing whether I plan to do it or not because I trust that it will present information from your perspective without judgment against the alternatives.

[@AdrianeErin]

This is amazing, tangible advice. Thank you.❤

[@Fefirl]

You are the best!!!! Thanks for sharing 😊

[@colorlessoz]

I started watching you for baby product reviews. And now I am subscribed because I now just wanna know so much about being a mom

[@katicaj11]

This is such a great video, I am going to watch it again right away!

[@amandadunbar9702]

Shayla your content is amazing especially for a first time mom!❤ thank you. Your like the raw honest mom friend I wish I had. ( thankfully I get it through your content )

[@ForeverFashionGirl21]

This was a great video! I have watched your videos for years and it has been so cool seeing you document your motherhood journey in a similar way to your travel journey- I am about to be a mom now and the videos are even more helpful and impactful

[@natatatatatatat]

I love your videos, this is exactly what I needed today. Thank you ❤️

[@AF-gb1jw]

These are the best, most encouraging tips I’ve heard about motherhood ❤ Thank you!

[@macy.nathanwilson1220]

I always feel better after watching your videos. I love your honesty, and side comments haha. Also, I LOVE your hair cut! Thank you for your realistic ideas and encouraging spirit 💕

[@mart-mariedejongh36]

Thank you sooooo much for continuously posting real, practical content - it is invaluable! Your videos show me ways of Mothering that I didn't previously consider and even though I might still choose to implement differently, it's really nice to be able to explore alternative options and change your mind as you grow through this journey of Motherhood. Thank you and much love all the way from South Africa 💛

[@jessicasuchy7850]

You’ve helped me so much 😅

[@asuntahall822]

Shayla, this video came right on time! You are so right, especially with social media. It’s so easy to second-guess yourself constantly. Thank you for always putting out videos that resonate.

[@lauradermatis1372]

You always come through with such timely content!!!!!!!!!

[@marenkaiser2936]

I felt so encouraged by your tips, thank you Shayla! You are really good at putting things into perspective. Please keep on sharing amazing content like this ❤

[@AnielaNuta]

Hi Shayla! 👋 This is the second video of yours I watch (certainly not the last one, I plan on binge watching more while I go about my mom day). I have to say: I frickin’ love you! 😂 It’s so rare (to the point that I find it a bit uncanny) that you find someone with such similar thoughts and beliefs to your own. I feel heard and understood, even though we will never meet and I just randomly stumbled across your videos. Anyway, have an awesome week and thank you for sharing!

[@GinnyDisong]

Yay! I found this so encouraging as we’re going into the 2 year old stage 😅

[@heyshayla]

How to talk so little kids listen is such a good book for the two year old stage!

[@nicoletteramos1159]

I absolutely love your videos. They help me so much. I almost teared up during this video from the weight that came off of me ❤

[@kimberlyd2308]

So good!!

[@mg-oy4vy]

Wow. You’re amazing. Thank you for this.

[@MegaTelenovela]

Love this 💖

[@lisa.d23]

Oh my god, THANKS for this 🙏🏻

[@JimenezB385]

Needed this so much today😢 thank you for making me tear up ❤

[@jenniferlarios4851]

Thank you for this Sheila. Thank you so much

[@nikkiwaltenburg4135]

❤ it's OK to change!

[@erikamlz]

A very encouraging video! 😊 thanks for sharing! 👍🏼

[@melissa_ann_p]

Just adore you Shayla ! 💗💗

[@ayonnazglam9050]

Needed to hear this ❤

[@merakinne]

Thank you so much Shayla for this reminder, its so exhausting to think that whatever we do is never enough or good enough. Can you share any tips for time/energy management, would appreciate it

[@heyshayla]

Figuring out the things that give you energy and actually doing then even when you’re tired is huge. The more you do then the more life they give. If it’s easier make a TANGIBLE 30 day challenge to see how you feel at the end ❤️

[@merakinne]

@@heyshayla i will definitely try this! Thank you!❤️

[@tabeaweigel6695]

Thank you so much, you reached your goal with me ❤ Need to watch it every couple of weeks though to remind me 😂

[@heyshayla]

You got this!

[@nikkiwaltenburg4135]

What great ideals! Thank you so much! ❤ I love your videos!

[@marthacapyk8567]

Awesome -again!

[@agnieszkamagdalena9119]

Love it! I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately. If anyone is struggling with self criticism I'd suggest reading Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. It's so good to help untangle that judgement that we place on ourselves. I'm grateful for your content, keep it up!

[@biancaneculai9961]

You speak my language, girl! Even though you don't 🤪 (Romania here)

[@heyshayla]

😂😂😂

[@paulinaweber7437]

Why is this video making me emotional? Maybe cause I’m guilty of feeling this way 😢

[@Milonerve]

Thank you

[@Briviel]

About the first point: Motherhood is stressful enough but adding more psychological stress by having negative thoughts and getting all riled up about minor things, has a negative impact on your mental and physical health. For those who are interested: read the publications by Hans Selye on stress or other authors from the same endocrinologist-area. :) So: not judging others helps your own health. Benefits for everyone!

[@lauradermatis1372]

Can’t stop commenting hahaha yes yes yessss!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!! You read my mind😱how!!!!

[@beckyhankins7134]

Dude, the second point, specifically the wake windows reference. I have found a lot of useful information from people on Reddit for sleep, but when it comes to wake windows it is so chaotic. 😅 “Your baby should be at 3 hours, your wake windows are too short.” Okay. I mean I don’t disagree, but how do I get there when we get to 2.5 hours and he is literally just crying because he wants sleep. 🥴 Always love your videos, Shayla! ❤

[@ancachiosea6334]

Please just follow your baby, I've had the same, we were always a bit behind if looking at the standard wake windows, taking 4 naps when internet says 3, 3 when internet says 2, etc. However at about 8 months old he quickly started catching up and we are now actually at a very standard 2 nap schedule with 3 to 4 hours wake windows for a ten month old. Still have to lay down with him so he sleeps long enough. Whatever works It's really odd that we expect them to develop at the exact same pace

[@gabbyroo6029]

My question is how do I parent a one and half year old without losing my cool. I hate when I do it but it seems to happen more often now that he has his big feelings and his own things he wants to do. By losing cool I mean get frustrated at them or become distant because I get too overwhelmed... I often beat myself down but you are right the fact I don't lash out or ignore his needs I need to give myself credit. Working from home mom here trying not to lose her mind

[@heyshayla]

Ugh working from home is soo hard a no that transformed me was “how to talk soo little kids listen” it helped soo much. I listened to it instead of reading. When I cook, drive, on a walk etc

[@gabbyroo6029]

@@heyshayla I have already read it and it was amazing. But when tired mind takes over it seems that nothing learned sticks. The only thing that helps in those situations seems to be the routine for me and as much outside time as humanly possible 🥴 I really enjoyed a house united parenting style. You should look into it super helpful with my own feelings as well

[@jamie.8525]

❤

[@MarianneMedlin-dz4dz]

just a heads up: neither of the links for the vital greens work.

[@heyshayla]

Heyshayla.com/greens

[@MarianneMedlin-dz4dz]

thank you 😊

[@tylerressler2054]

I always think if someone is speeding that their wife is in labor and they need to get to her. Lol 😂 but I love your point of view

[@willowslater9961]

Okay you mentioned “as long as it’s safe” I have struggled with this question for ever now bc I have no idea how to say something. What do you say or do when someone’s kid is buckled in improperly ??? I never wanna embarrass or shame anyone! But I am constantly seeing people post pics of their kids with huge jackets on or the chest buckle on the tummy. What would everyone do…. ?

[@annarocha3254]

If you simply can't let yourself ignore it I would personally say something along the lines of , "Maybe you already know this but it is recommended to take large jackets off in the car seat so the belt can protect children properly. I know it's such a hassle getting clothes like that on and off or heating up the car ahead of time".

[@samantharoseman4206]

Are first form things crunchy approved? I would assume no

[@heyshayla]

They look incredibly body builder ish I agree. I never endorse something that I don’t run past my clinical nutritionist. I can’t talk to everything but she said the greens reds and protein look really clean!

[@brickbrow]

I have a 5mo and have not really struggled with the mom guilt. I feel it's a monster in the closet waiting to pounce on me because it seems to be overwhelmingly common. What is the source of so much mom guilt? My mom doesn't agree with Montessori, still doing it. My closest mom friend has raging toddlers, I don't accept that as our future. I don't buy a lot of baby gadgets that are "must haves" and people have implied I'm restricting my daughter in some way, still not buying stuff. I don't think I have this figured out but I also cannot understand why mama's have all this guilt. 💔

[@heyshayla]

Apparently is biological to help us be good moms 😵‍💫😂🤪