High Functioning Autism - Should We Feel Guilty?

With High Functioning Autism and autistic people who are considered high functioning, should we feel guilty? Should we feel guilty for having lower support needs with those autistic people who have higher support needs? In this video, that is what we will be discussing in this follow-up video to "Why High Functioning Autism label hurts autistic people".
Why High Functioning Autism label hurts autistic people: • Why High Functioning A...
Autistic Burnout Vs Depression: • Autistic Burnout Vs De...
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Hello indie people, I'm Andy and I have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I make videos on autism from the perspective of an autistic adult. Sharing my autism experiences to help other autistic people and autism families to improve their understanding of autism.
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[@IndieAndy]

Hi indie people! Do you think autistic people should feel guilty about having lower support needs? Also here are some more videos relating to this: Why High Functioning Autism label hurts autistic people: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6ito2idpt6BfZY Autistic Burnout Vs Depression: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oKmZfamZrtdkisk

[@elizabethCorkins83]

🌹HUG🌹

[@remygallardo7364]

I personally do not find much guilt regarding my ability to function well to neurotypical standards but I do find that I still push myself to meet neurotypical needs beyond my capacity at times leading to burnout rather than making it clear to the people that know me that I have reached my limit and whether they understand or not I'm done. I'm a few years older than you and have only been diagnosed and self aware of my autism for about 3 years, and only in the last year have I actually started coming to terms with it and what it means for my path through the world. I am finding I have more peace of mind in adopting a very centrist lifestyle in that I associate myself near equally among autistic communities and neurotypical communities because each will burn me out eventually in different ways but also enrich me. I recognize that I can't expect the majority of the population to cater to my needs, especially if I don't make them known, but I do make it my mission to educate and dispel misinformation to anyone that speaks to me, especially if I have the opportunity to engage as a neurotypical and then reveal that I'm autistic after a period of time and trust is established.

[@Tazer_Silverscar]

Oh thank god, I'm not the only one who is just totally fried about driving X'D My mum just doesn't get this, and tbh, nobody else I know does either. Mum's obsessed with getting me to drive, and I understand why, I really do, but I wish she'd stop.

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

I think feeling guilt over having lower support needs is somewhat of a natural response and demonstrates a sense of empathy towards others. However, that doesn't mean that guilt is warranted or should be felt. Being high-functioning autistic in a neurotypical world is still a disability, and rightly so. Any challenges are different from someone with higher support needs, but no less valid.

[@robynriana396]

There’s guilt for struggling without a diagnosis, because we think we should be better at life. And then there’s guilt if we get a diagnosis and we feel our condition is not visibly severe enough to warrant acknowledgement. And then, even if we understand ourselves, finally, as Autistic people who are VALID, society still puts us in a position where we have to defend that. Hence, more guilt.

[@noemiebougeard2042]

Exactly how i feel right now. I lived 26 years in a neurotypical world without let me beleve i m autistic. This led to masking and now i feel not enough normal to be neurotypical, but too normal to be autistic. It s really struggle me right now because i just been called yesterday for the tests, and they told me it s going to be a description of a day for me. So suddently i don t feel legit to any of that because exept physical trouble (tonus and sensoriality) i can t even say what s hard for me.... anyway, we ll see, but it s scares me because i know i m autistic and i m scared to don t have the official diagnosis...

[@Eirini80]

Wow,you just said what i feel.

[@robynriana396]

@Glosi dove You’re right, and that’s why our support system is so important! 😊 Every human being has pressure put on them. I guess autism makes us particularly vulnerable to that pressure, because we’re “other”.

[@robynriana396]

@@noemiebougeard2042 It’s terrifying to describe everything, and you’re very brave. ❤️

[@games_bond7221]

My god! You you yiou... I don't know how to explain it... Sometimes I wish my autism was worse so that people would notice how hard it is for me. But my iq is like 140 and I masked for my whole childhood and early teens, I'm 15 now, so everybody thinks I exaggerate my symptoms since I was diagnosed, when I only actually finally feel free to not put up the social mask I often have

[@babytextor]

Curreny dealing with this from my parents. "Dont sell yourself short" "Stop labeling yourself you can do this" As if me labeling myself is saying I cant do it. No. Me labeling myself is me saying "hey if I'm going to do this we better all be aware of what my obstacles are". But since my IQ is so high no one believes I have obstacles

[@abigailracheldewolfe6421]

"Your challenges are valid." Thanks for the great video Andy!

[@grandelondres]

I am the mother of 2 high functioning autistic boys (today 7 and 8 years old). In workshops and in the community of mothers this "guilt" is a problem as well. For years I did not feel comfortable complaining, seeking help, showing my concerns with the boys because I knew I would hear "but are you complaining?". I decided that I would no longer share my issues with this community and I looked for channels like yours to inspire me! Thank you for your videos.

[@bryanmerton5153]

Excellent video! I appear “normal” and yet I struggle every day with ordinary things. Just the other day I was telling a good friend one of those struggles and said it must be the ADHD. He said I used that as an excuse. I let is slide but then lost sleep over it saying to myself it is an excuse , it’s the way I am. I know he said it out of ignorance but it still hurt non the less. I have a great life and actually love being autistic! Most of the time that is. Sometimes I feel I need to sit people down and tell them a day in the life that they don’t see😜. Thanks for you videos, you have great insight!

[@noemiebougeard2042]

Yeah. The excuse things is why i don t have all my family support (some people does, but some don t). They think if i had the official diagnosis, i ll just stop making progress because i will use my autism as an excuse. Except it s not an excuse lol when i m saying if a loose my job i won t be able to start over right know for example

[@IndieAndy]

Yeah exactly! It's just the other day people were talking about people being a snowflake i.e. saying they struggle but it's not hard stuff. Though not directed at me, I felt like it was meant for me. Now I can't get this and the idea that I'm not good enough out of my mind.

[@Catlily5]

@@IndieAndy People complaining about other people being snowflakes are snowflakes themselves.

[@anbukurama6784]

I totally get this veiw point, the feeling that because im high functioning i should be able to do things like nt people that are around the same age and when i struggle with these things which lead me to seek help im then met with but your high functioning which instantly makes me feel guilty and in most cases second guess myself and makes me feel like my struggles arnt as valid as others on the spectrum!

[@StephanieBethany]

Great video and I really feel I gather more from what you're trying to say from being able to converse with you elsewhere haha. It is definitely difficult because its this constant tandem of you're lucky bc you're not high support needs but why aren't you keeping up with everyone else, you're just fine!

[@IndieAndy]

Haha aww I know I know, here's too public 🤣. Yeah exactly and also having to prove ourselves everytime.

[@JadeDRail]

This is like "You can't have ADHD, you have good grades." Turns out I do have ADHD. XD

[@elisakrivas]

Like my sister

[@TheKatCalledMikey]

This is why I didn't get diagnosed until the end 11th grade because up until then I was getting good grades

[@JadeDRail]

@@TheKatCalledMikey that's about when my grades dropped too!

[@IndieAndy]

Just because someone has ADHD, doesn't mean they can't do well in education. Such a massive stereotype!

[@JadeDRail]

@@IndieAndy I know right? Often people with ADHD/Anxiety do amazing in school until they burn out and their grades drop.

[@DavidJVMusic]

Hey Andie, I think the real question is, Are they "high functioning" because they learned or were taught, or was it an occurrence that was necessitated on them in order to survive? Like, what would they/we be like if they/we had less help or less encouragement or more help/encouragement? I think "high functioning" in some cases is just an autistic person who is and has been trying super super hard to be like all the "normal" people around them, I feel like this. Thanks for sharing!

[@games_bond7221]

Exactly, like, I was exhibiting stimming and echolalia, but I got punished for it and I started making it, therefore my diagnosis was 'extremely mild high functioning autism' and I can't keep a conversation going for 2 minutes, I stim like a lot, to the point my fingers are damaged from all the biting and I have obsessive interests, doesn't sound so mild to me but.... You know

[@HanChap2]

Found you on Facebook and you are amazing! I was diagnosed autistic 4 weeks ago and I am starting to realise I have a tribe out there just like me. I am not an alien, I am not a freak. I just wish I could find people i can be me around in real life. Trying to be neurotypical all my life works for some time but eventually fails and is exhausting!

[@AlexCarson]

I think it’s very human to want to be independent and discover who we are, but there also shouldn’t be stigma or guilt when asking for help or desiring accessibility to help make life a little easier. To me, the phrase of “you don’t look ___” can really close off opportunities and outlets that should always be open.

[@undertheradar001]

My mother was given all the red flags at nursery but i got no help. I was born 4 weeks premature in 1971. My son is Autistic also. I am only going for diagnosis now @50 as it makes so much more sense of what happened during my life. I wish I was diagnosed at 4 and got the help and protection.

[@ReiverBlue1971]

No we shouldn't feel guilty for anything, we don't deliberately make our lives more difficult by being on the Spectrum, but I believe we are honor bound to help those on the spectrum that experience greater difficulties than we do. VERY interesting question sir ;)

[@IndieAndy]

I ♥️ this Matt! I agree with you 1000%.

[@crackconnoisseur6387]

I don't think we should feel guilty, but we should instead take great pride in how well we can decode the NT world and put it to good use. I think we have a huge responsibility here. We should be at the forefront of the debate and advocate for our lower functioning lads while also explaining the world to them and help them adapt more. Now that I have finally been diagnosed with Asperger's (Europe) I want to create an autism podcast that focuses on relationship management and work life. For example, I have found great success in interviews because I have written scripts I could memorise and present. I've had help of NT friends with that and also use it for basic small talk. My NT wife and I have a great relationship (especially now) because I have taught her how to approach me during shutdowns and other events while she has clearly stated what terms our relationship is built on from her side (like explicitly telling me she'd like to receive flowers on a random basis).

[@merissamakesstuff]

This is so encouraging. I always feel stupid for needing help making important phone calls. For years and years (until last year) I could not do them to even make doctors appointments and people always refused to help because I am "smart and can do it." I have serious health issues and I'm losing a bunch of teeth because I needed dental care and could not go alone. I just started getting that extra help last year because of functioning labels, and I am 29...

[@TDDrum]

Thanks for the words of encouragement! I share many of the daily struggles you mentioned. That's the part people don't see, those invisible challenges.

[@cosmajuno8007]

Thank you, that is exactly what I go through everyday

[@lillynatal.]

No. We shouldn't feel guilty. There are good and bad parts about being 'high functioning'. Being high functioning sometimes means one doesn't get the help until several things have already gone wrong. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 25, and only then because I went to a psychologist saying 'hey, I think my life is going rough because I've got autism.', and only since then I'm receiving help that I already needed way longer. It would have helped me so much to get help as a kid, but no one noticed. If one is lower functioning, it's often more obvious they need help, and that often means that they get more help earlier on. Being able to properly word what's going on and what's going wrong means that it's easier to express myself, yes, but it also means that people are less inclined to believe I actually have the limitations that I'm experiencing. Truth spoken, I've often felt jealous of those that are lower functioning, because I imagine that they don't have to fight this damn hard to be believed and understood. All in all, I think Autism is a lot to deal with already, and I think it's silly for any of us to feel guilty about the level of support we do or don't need.

[@Severus34564]

My family always tells me that I should feel guilty about having support needs at all. I feel guilty for being autistic sometimes, but still who would I be without autism, I wouldn't exist... So basically that would mean feeling guilty for existing. It's really difficult to deal with guilt as an emotion. Logic helps sometimes. Sorry if I haven't exactly explained well, my ability to write is currently a little affected after a major meltdown.

[@pastichegraham]

Yes!!!!!!!! Thank you for this video! Needed this!!! I was diagnosed around that age❤️❤️

[@noblecyberman957]

I'm glad that we're all starting to agree that terms like lower or higher functioning are problematic. I didn't realise how negative of an impact it had until I started considering myself high functioning and realising how much that dismisses the way I feel. I'm also going for an Autism diagnosis as an adult.

[@davidbrown6878]

What an inspirational video.

[@zk1801]

Great video

[@LurkingLinnet]

Thank you

[@renren4910]

I have High functioning autism im 17 To be honest im scared about my future and all like i heard that most people like me with autism are unemployed and that some of them got fired from their jobs because of their autism..I even cried thinking that i will be like them..I even wished that i never had this autism and just be normal...

[@rev.jesseabelchristianlife6693]

Those of us who are "high function" have a responsibility to speak up for ASD people who can not speak! Thats how I see it.

[@jonathanbalsdon6444]

I've often been termed as having 'high-functioning' autism, and I'll admit I'm not overly keen on it. Academically, I'm generally high-functioning. Socially, and with many day-to-day tasks? Absolutely not. I sometimes need a bit of help to work out what to say in a particular situation (especially at work), and even then I can get it wrong no matter how polite I am about it! My memory's often not great, and I swear the pandemic's made it worse. I was diagnosed at the age of 11. I got a bit of support from school, but never very much. What I did have for my GCSE and A-Levels (and also uni exams) was 25% extra time due to slower handwriting speed and a smaller room so I could focus much better. I think it definitely helped. After diagnosis, I underwent things like occupational therapy, which I think helped a bit. The other one I can remember was 'social stories', trying to teach me how to react in certain situations, but that didn't work at all. I remember one of those scenarios was it was dinner time and my brothers were singing along to something quite loudly (they did this frequently), and I struggled to cope. My options were 'let them carry on' or 'join in', which I thought were frankly stupid. I was often told off for asking them to stop, and made to feel rather guilty as well. It's like the issues I've had with being autistic have often been disregarded or rubbished by my parents, and I've been made to feel guilty for not having a brain that works like theirs. Sucks big time.

[@elisakrivas]

You got diagnosed at four, so of course you won't see how your help you received was necessary. Trust me, the reason you probably feel that guilt is because you got the help you needed early on. I got diagnosed at 20 and labeled as "very high functioning." No professional saw the difficulties I had to put up with growing up because I lacked support and aid. Had you been diagnosed later, you may have had a similar experience and you wouldn't even question yourself in this matter. We shouldn't feel guilty for who we are. It's just a part of who we are and we all have different needs. Also, you have similar traits to mine

[@MartKart8]

I've never heard anyone use the terms high functioning or low functioning in real life on people they know that are autistic.

[@elisakrivas]

Oh, it happens 🙄

[@thevintagepoet]

I feel guilty because I'm a burden on my family

[@lindensalter6713]

Oh damn I’m early

[@smileythesnail5213]

Same

[@Catlily5]

Don't listen to those people. You know you have Autism. Congratulations on how far you have come. I don't drive either.

[@gonnfishy2987]

high/low functioning assignment damages anyone’s ability to understand autism. it’s about support needs, and the each individual’s own autistic struggles. hubris get t’ fak

[@elisakrivas]

Why should we feel guilty for who we are?

[@IndieAndy]

I know we shouldn't at all. It was just some of the thoughts I've always had.

[@catherinedesrochers]

That remind me a little of the excellent video on the topic of Functioning label by Yo Samdy Sam kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHWYm3SthdGGers My education made it so that I did not develop some of the issues that seems common in the community. I also had the chance to always find "Neuroatypical" friends just like me throughout my life and to work in an industry where "Neuroatypical" people are quite common. Because of that, I have the same level of guilt as you… To the point I often doubt if I really am on the spectrum. I hope that having an official diagnosis in October will really help remove that feeling. On a side note this might be the reason why I am such an avid fan of your content with which I connect a lot.

[@thevintagepoet]

Off topic but this guy has some pretty eyes

[@JadeDRail]

...........................................no

[@amandamandamands]

This happens to people with any sort of disability, comments of you don't look it and do you really have XYZ and you look like you can do everything so why do you think that you deserve help. I am considered disabled enough that I am on government benefits (not capable of keeping a job) yet every day people are surprised to hear that and say that you don't look like it. It is invalidating and a part of the misconception about what having a disability looks like.

[@garyfrancis5015]

Should children wear mask in school?Video that would good on your channel. Kids are very, very low risk the science says. AUtistic children could ask to wear mask in school and they have sensory issues from their autism. And except from wearinfg mask anyway. I wondered were yopur oponin was with testing and mask wearing in school.