The Emoji Movie Aged as Poorly as You Can Possibly Imagine

I decided it was about time that we as a society should re-evealuate Sony's "The Emoji Movie" and oh boy do I regret it.
Sections
Emoji Movie Lore - 0:00
The Funny Part of The Video - 1:57
Thank god That's Over - 18:34
The Part Where I Plug Myself - 22:58
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HiKeiLoKei
Season: 2
Episode: 12

[@tesswaibel5437]

I'm glad you warned me not to watch this movie because I don't think I would have been able to emotionally handle hearing "bye Felisha." Seriously a jump scare

[@Romanticoutlaw]

even worse, it's *James Cordon saying bye Felisha*

[@littlelowlife]

you wouldn't have been able to emotionally HANDle hehe

[@BambinaSaldana]

bye Felisha

[@SDSypher]

The only movie that phrase isn’t cringe in is straight outta Compton

[@TheLakey]

I watched the movie when I was 7 and it was not really that cringey for me. I watched it again and I did not cringe.

[@BindMedia]

Fun fact, I went to see this movie in theaters as a joke with some friends, and in the middle of the pre-movie short film, the screen went black, because the ENTIRE CITY BLOCK lost power in a random power outage. To this day, I know God is on my side, and I've never tried to watch the whole movie since

[@hikeilokei]

Now THATS divine intervention

[@BindMedia]

@@hikeilokei oh yeah, we all left with hands outstretched lol

[@ihearttoast8162]

I love the idea of this movie being so awful that god himself smites the cinema and cuts the power out lmao

[@PTp1ranha]

Just remember- ironic ticket sales are still ticket sales. And that's all the execs care to see.

[@KremBotop]

​@@PTp1ranha And Sony actually wanted to capitalize on that with good ol' Morbin'

[@greenman4044]

The reason the eggplant emoji is in the not used area is because young Andrew rate has no bitches send it too

[@hikeilokei]

Real

[@WinQiu10]

lmao

[@impossiblehanley2732]

He has homies tho

[@stagnant-name5851]

@@impossiblehanley2732 Wait a minute....

[@XxHarambexX]

@@impossiblehanley2732 Well, pretty much everyone in this movie is gay in some way

[@nyjah5393]

"jailbreak's weave comes off and it's revealed that she's actually a white woman" with the crowd gasp sound effect holy shit, dude your sense of humor is amazing please never stop

[@hikeilokei]

haha thank you :)

[@birdie8006]

Lmao that killed me, as a white woman jumpscare myself i love to see a good white woman jumpscare irl

[@cattoe874]

@@birdie8006 White Women 😱😱😱

[@KaylaaYukooo]

this movie is their canon event

[@Localbisexual]

The bisexual representation we didnt want but didnt need 👏🏻👏🏻

[@CL0NEM]

Your username is awfully ironic

[@firecrakerj3312]

Sony is very lucky to have made Into The Spiderverse and Mitchells vs The Machines after this

[@hikeilokei]

Seriously Sony really turned their animation department around after this movie.

[@firecrakerj3312]

@@hikeilokei They did. They really did…

[@leviatyn]

That’s because they had Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

[@monniemai1592]

They had to get all the bullshit out before they could get to the good stuff.

[@death_by_ranch1254]

They released this movie and thought "what the fuck have we done" It served as a wakeup call. So maybe the emoji movie served a purpose after all💀

[@Jade93972]

Are we shocked that a phone with "the piracy app" installed on it is glitching out and that the kid wants to get it factory reset?

[@hikeilokei]

LMAO that's actually hilarious. Wish I wrote that as joke in the video because that is genuinely so funny. This made me audibly laugh.

[@midleno8364]

Imagine if actual piracy were that dangerous or easy to mess up, this just sounds like corporate propaganda to me

[@ErieRosewood]

I had a piracy app on my phone lol. caled vlc player or something like that with an orange traffic cone icon. it didn't fuck up my phone but the app worked like shit so I had to delete it edit: so people stop commenting. it wasnt vlc player, that must've been a false memory. *however* , I did have a pirating app. it wasn't files from my phone, I think it was streaming. it had pretty much every movie and show made in its library

[@justseffstuff3308]

@@ErieRosewood my man, that app literally just plays MP4s, wdym piracy app-

[@theultimatehomiegsenior3058]

​@@justseffstuff3308 that's how good the disguise is, you were fooled

[@forever_mattdog9778]

"The devil from... the Bible" holy shit I was not expecting a Snapcube reference

[@hikeilokei]

People keep saying that. But when I wrote this joke the sound was trending on Tiktok (not where i know it from as I actually watch snapcube but its part of the reason I used it)

[@Nibiri3304]

@@hikeilokei you ever read a bible? i'm from that i'm that devil

[@maxmitch96]

I remember bringing my younger cousins to see this in theaters. They were probably around 6 and 9, so target demographic. Coming out of the theater the 6 year old said it was really boring and the 9 year old said it felt like they were trying to get her to download a bunch of apps. I wish I was joking, but that made it so much fun to shit on during the ride home.

[@SuperUkcats]

Smart children. I like that. Show them some Centurions or Jonny Quest sometime. Trust me.

[@yeet8627]

you know it’s bad when not even the kids like it lol

[@Isabel-sr8ep]

@@yeet8627 I was around 9-10 when this came out and I didn’t see the appeal I didn’t think anything of it and never watched it nor was I planning on dragging my parents to the theaters I thought this shit was so odd I’m glad I wasn’t the only kid that’s legit reaction was “???” If kids hate a movie FOR KIDS that should be the writers wake up call that it’s dogshit and they should never write anything ever again

[@SurmenianSoldier]

@@Isabel-sr8ep 21

[@rienn8559]

when i was 7 i thought i was cool so i made fun of it

[@cloverboyblue]

this movie is just a worse version of inside out

[@hikeilokei]

That's so funny I never thought of that

[@leotheliongames]

Mixed with the Lego movie, even down to the knockoff Wild Style

[@idiotwithopinions581]

That’s an insult to Inside Out

[@tableclothninja]

worse version of the lego movie too

[@quangamershyguyyz7166]

And Wreck it Ralph

[@anadavis9749]

Notice how the email was just lyrics from Diamonds by Rihanna

[@hikeilokei]

OH MY GOD I NEVER NOTICED THIS 😭

[@mello.1483]

Ngl that was very corny 😭

[@marmoth9786]

@@hikeilokei i was like ???? because i INSTANTLY recognised it

[@jasperjazzie]

yeah, cause they had already spent a max of 10 minutes writin the script for this movie and they didn't wanna spend anymore time writin something actually original for the email to say

[@squiddler7731]

Tbf, that is a lot more in line with what an awkward teen would think to say to a girl he liked. Still incredibly cringe, but more fitting than I would've given this movie credit for.

[@Sam.Wendorf]

You saying "Emoji Movie 2017" implies there will someday be a remake. Please no.

[@hikeilokei]

I’ll make it myself if I have to

[@ckp09er]

@@hikeilokei spare us, please

[@hobomike6935]

I feel like Emoji Movie was subconsciously a foreshadowing of the next decade, where everything about life sucks and is unpleasant much like everything in the movie. You watch it, and it feels like something that would have come out in the past 3 1/2 years. In a cosmic sort of way, it was ahead of it’s time.

[@MariOmor1]

@@hikeilokei make it better

[@BLET_55artem55]

​@@hobomike6935you just really need to go to therapy, the depression is real

[@nosidenoside2458]

It's funny that there's a "piracy" app and an emoji called Jailbreak, which implies the phone is jailbreaked, which means the phone is inelligible for being serviced by the manufacturer

[@charliekahn4205]

He probably took it to a third-party repair service

[@LucaGlitchy]

Just dance lady was unironically the best designed character in the movie. I don't want to get in to the emoji character designs because I don't want to have an existential crisis but the other humans are so bland looking.

[@hikeilokei]

Really speaking her and jailbreak are the only things in the movie that have actually character designs. The rest of the characters are just sony-fied emojis and the main character kid literally is just wearing a hoodie and jeans.

[@mikethegoo]

Memento Mori

[@littlemeow124]

She was also the best character in the film alongside smiler (aka the villain). Of course she had to die in the phone trash bin while gene and jailbreak rescues hi-5!

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

All she wanted to do is dance and she got fucking obliterated, it’s so unfair

[@volnartheunforgiving3952]

I actually think the evil robots looked rather cool

[@adamsecrets3721]

I literally watched this movie in the mental hospital. The only place this movie belongs

[@hikeilokei]

i feel like that would make everyone in there a little bit worse

[@audiovisualcringe]

imagine if your credit card declines after your stay at the mental hospital so they just show you the emoji movie to undo weeks of rehabilitation

[@Pixel_Ink_]

Isn't the whole point of mental hospitals to PREVENT suicidal feelings? Because they clearly made a massive oversight.

[@jodipearson567]

Actually the characters race could explain why high five isn’t used much as an emoji on Alex’s phone. Perhaps it’s because he uses the one that matches his skin tone instead, like most people do. I think it would be giving this movie too much credit to say they actually thought it through though.

[@Sasha-zw9ss]

I thought most people just used the neutral yellow one. I kinda cringe at the "five varieties of skin tones" in emojis (not that I use them at all anyway), given that races of the emojis were completely irrelevant initially.

[@error-try-again-later]

Or that he's just lazy and uses the yellow one.

[@cassandra-]

unfortunately i think at the beginning they do mention that alex used to use high five a lot and but stopped for some reason

[@elnchou]

​@@Sasha-zw9ss At least in the platforms that I know, they actually added the yellow versions at the same time they released the race variations, they used to only be white

[@justinstephens8432]

This video just made me realize how a just dance app is infinitely flawed on a conceptual level

[@hikeilokei]

Seriously like what are you even supposed to do? Hold the phone? If you are then how do you see it when you dance??? Like seriously it was so obviously just a plot device. But apparently there is an ACTUAL just dance app so idk.

[@spaceyintgehead9658]

With the actual one you need to have a second device like a laptop or something to show the visuals

[@Crockssi69]

@@hikeilokei The app is like a controller for the game itself but its really difficult to use. I couldnt figure it out when I tried to set it up

[@winter_aqua09]

the app is actually a thing and the app controller is ass i've played with it for a while and it sucks at actually detecting your moves when you dance

[@DoLeDragon]

Still sounds shit, but maybe set the phone up and use the front camera like a Kinect? I know, that's a very low bar.

[@kiartoons2010]

The main problem with films like The Emoji Movie is that they are filled with memes and gags that were only relevant and funny for when they were released. If you watch them years later, half of the jokes are just cringe.

[@jett3474]

If we're being entirely honest, it was already dated from its inception. From what I remember, every single KZbinr and person with a brain back in 2017 was relentlessly shitting on this thing for simply being unfunny

[@corneliuscornwallis]

Every joke in the movie was irrelevant before it even released

[@tarotsushima3332]

I think any movie that heavily relies on meme or internet humour's already running the risk of being dated, esp when it's just "Wow look at this thing! Remember how funny it was four years ago?" Makes it more unwatchable with each passing year

[@annaliesecancilla894]

I think unfortunately because movies go into production years before they are ever released it’s often that they are way out of date by the time the movie even hits the screen.

[@pa-pa-plasma]

The thing is though is that I've seen shows & movies that use similar humour but in an actually funny way. Even if it comes across as dated, it's still funny because you can tell the writers understand the joke. The Emoji Movie is one big ad, it's story & characters are shallow, the art style is very plain, & it's made by people who don't understand memes &, most importantly, don't think children can recognize the difference between good & bad writing. They know it's badly written. They just don't care "because it's for children".

[@kirbyleggington7205]

Imagine being the nauseous emoji and your whole purpose in life is to throw up whenever some 14 year old kid decides you should

[@chungman1500]

"Emoji 9/11" is the craziest term ever

[@jamiethestranger91]

The truth is happiness is the bisexuality we find along the way

[@hikeilokei]

That sounds profound but I’m not sure it actually is

[@banditxavier2893]

I'd rather watch 16 year old me cry over another girl while listening to Tegan and Sara.

[@asackboyplush6508]

Fair enough

[@catsock]

goddamn you for having a red guy pfp because it forced me to read your comment in his voice. on second thought, thank you for having red guy as your pfp.

[@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360]

I put New 4'gs on my jeep

[@StagFiesta]

Me and my friends hung out in New York City one day and decided to see this movie together. When buying tickets, there was a summer camp group full of maybe 20+ children was going to the same showing. I was sure the theater would be a nightmare of children losing their mind to it. They were all completely silent the entire time. No laughs, no screaming, nothing.

[@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360]

Como se alimentan los vegetales?¿Y los animales?En los dos casos indica que orgánicos celulares sirven( no más de 20 palabras)

[@eustaquiokum4617]

​@@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360vegetales: nutrientes del suelo. Animales: compuestos orgánicos.

[@Regigigas_YT]

@@eustaquiokum4617 The ayuda para la tarea is real

[@eclipciadarkmoon4105]

Oh my god...! xD It's really that bad, huh? That's fucking amazing.

[@prettierjesus3119]

I heard someone say that they were the *ONLY* people in the theater when they saw it.

[@TotallyNotSnowman]

Me and my little brother watched this movie in an empty theatre. No one was there but us two and one staff. He basically babysat us for the two hours. Thank you, random staff guy, who hung out with us and made the movie a little less unbearable

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

So the background regarding Smiler being the first emoji is that in 1982, Carnegie Mellon professor Scott Fahlman invented the first emoticon which was a smiley. However, the first emojis ever created were in 1997 when J-Phone (SoftBank Group Corp) in Japan launched the SkyWalker DP-211SW, which contained a set of 90 emojis. This is where the smiling pile of poo emoji came from! And something I've noticed at 5:20 is that the flag emojis aren't in alphabetical order like they're supposed to be! One of the columns from top to bottom has the Australian, Polish, and Indian flags. The South Korean flag is above the Israeli flag, the Irish flag is above the Turkish flag, etc. Geography is truly, the number one enemy of the United States. "Aged poorly" implies that it had some redeeming quality. That there was some place to fall from where it started. Once you hit the very bottom of the Marianas Trench, there's nowhere else to go. Here's what the story should've been: A fantasy emoji land where, every time an emoji is used on a phone, they’re struck off the face of the earth. The emojis live in constant fear, and some communities are harder struck than others. The least popular emojis go on a quest to stop the evil that steals whole communities away, but then discover that the taken are being sent to a beautiful state of enlightenment where they understand all, and the least used emojis go on a quest to make the “gods” notice and use them more so they can also reach this nirvana.

[@AidenAlias]

Insane that that spider-verse was just a year later and that had a huge impact on the animation industry.

[@viktoryc]

@@jaxsterminator8634 wrong

[@tiamystic]

@@jaxsterminator8634 Say sike RN

[@iamtoychica4302]

​@@jaxsterminator8634 Not you again 😒

[@joenoah2563]

@@jaxsterminator8634 I love when people fall for such an obvious troll 💀

[@thegreatscribbles960]

By the same studio to

[@playkawaii2104]

I watched a recap of this movie while eating, what i hadn't realized was that i was eating expired canned tuna,i will forever equal the emoji "movie" with the taste of putrid canned tuna. Thanks for coming to my TED talk 890!

[@hikeilokei]

That sounds fitting tbh

[@neonbonehotel]

the movie is what expired the tuna

[@Boppercat]

Have you ever had lumpy milk? If you have that’s the emoji movie in drink form. If you have not had lumpy milk it’s best to keep it that way.

[@Crystal_ITS]

@@Boppercat i will now go age my milk so that i can drink the lumpy milk. Do wish me luck Update: the milk is aged, it looks disgusting and also smells disgusting. I will let you know how it goes If i do not update, tell my mother i loved her

[@Terabit3]

If you eat the spoiled tuna anyways, it'll give you superpowers. Trust me

[@leonardofazbear1258]

I went to go see it as a joke and no one in the theater had ever made a single chuckle after watching the whole film. The only time they've ever laughed was that Hotel Transylvania short and that's it.

[@hikeilokei]

The movie IS the joke

[@Chaos_Fantasmic]

If it was IRL, then the girl would've most likely been very uncomfortable when he sent her that emoji

[@rentorars]

watched this movie while incredibly high with one of my friends, it was definitely an experience. i convinced myself it was an allegory for autism and eugenics from like 5 minutes in

[@cheesebread3]

Most movies are if you think about it too hard

[@rg-wormwood]

EUGENICS LMAOOOO

[@juice3287]

as an autistic person so true

[@nitebreak]

@@juice3287as also an autistic person wtf 😭😭😭😭

[@Big-The-Cat]

Now THAT'S a experience if there ever was one

[@andfriends]

IT WAS ALREAFY BADLY AGED WHEN IT CAME OUT. HOW DID IT GET WORSE

[@hikeilokei]

Time does not in fact, heal all wounds. Sometimes, it makes them significantly worse...

[@capncookie1110]

@@hikeilokei Like infection

[@dar3mor6]

​@@capncookie1110 or an Achilles tendon rupture.

[@user-ny1uy5ll3l]

​@@dar3mor6 or like a rotting old lady

[@hsandco9560]

This entire plot of the movie could've been avoided without the main character, and alex would've gotten the girl either way💀

[@hikeilokei]

pointless movie

[@hsandco9560]

@@hikeilokei they really added a just dance APP into this movie The entire few years they spent on it was pointless the moment the directors discovered what phones were

[@forestfreakk]

6:19 THE 2017 DEVIANT ART JUMPSCARE I GENUINELY SCREAMED

[@bethanycampione3558]

The main character is nothing special, you could almost say he's kinda meh

[@hikeilokei]

Take my like

[@ReignyRain]

@@hikeilokei he took your heart instead

[@QUBIQUBED]

@@ReignyRain rest in piece hikeilokei

[@dudemp4]

​@@ReignyRain bro just killed him

[@doorfungi]

im not mad, im just dissapointed

[@KandyChoppe]

"There's gotta be a way we can canonically prove that an Emoji 9/11 happened" earned my like

[@okjeffy6581]

✈ 🌇

[@-.bella.-]

​@@okjeffy6581 💥🔥

[@PixieMeat_444]

@@-.bella.- 🚧🏃💨🔥🧑‍🚒

[@keyboardsmash_01]

Gotta ask Matpat, maybe he'll prove the emoji assasination of Franz Ferdinand too lol

[@Zizpy]

@@keyboardsmash_01 🇦🇹👫 🔫😡🇧🇦

[@sporovid5856]

If the Emoji Movie isn’t entirely forgotten, historians in the 2070s will use it as an example of how low our society got during the 2010s.

[@dar3mor6]

Facts.

[@D03-H03]

But. . . Transformers Prime came out then and slapped so hard even though no one asked it to-

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

Ah yes, The Emoji Movie. A classic. A landmark in cinema. With iconic lines like "Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito." and "They're stickers Gene, try to get with the program." A movie like this is what brought Jesus back from the dead when it was announced. Fun fact: it is a legal requirement to watch this film at least 86 times or you are executed by TJ MEHller. I feel like since Gene’s parents are “meh” emoji’s, it’d make more sense for them to be rude and grumpy, but instead, they just seem really tired and look and sound like they’re about to sleep. Not to mention that anything that gets deleted don't just magically come back if you cancel mid-way through (unless the sectors haven't been completely overwritten, in which case the filesystem's journal or file allocation table can be rebuilt to find the bits of data that are "deleted"). That being said, the best emoji is obviously 🇰🇵 and it's no competition! Shame it wasn't featured in the movie.

[@cherrycola542]

Fun Fact: if this was a real damn phone Just Dance wouldn't be dead she'd just be in limbo, bc when you delete an app it goes to something called "App Trash" where it stays for 24-72 hours where you can delete it for good or restore it with everything it had before it was deleted

[@Regigigas_YT]

What phone do you use? I don't have anything like App Trash on my samsung

[@catsock]

how are you going to give us this information, but no information on how to get to app trash? let me explore app purgatory.

[@NeonBeeCat]

idk man i got app trash on my LG phone

[@WinWinWoo]

I mean it’s just a movie man. Talking emojis and all that.

[@Isabel-sr8ep]

Shhhhh a movie about sentient emojis doesn’t use logic just go with it

[@numburger]

7:18 Holy crap, I genuinely thought the disco ball was hanging himself 😭 That would've made this film so much more entertaining regardless of how inappropriate that'd be in a 2017 kids film, just SOMETHING to make this movie any bit more memorable

[@shannondent6047]

I CACKLED at this comment

[@rg-wormwood]

that is hilarious 😭😭

[@disconnectedstudios5409]

Fr 😂

[@ARCHIVED9610]

i wish

[@dumbdannia6326]

LMAOOOO

[@sodashiira1894]

the fact that a kids movie about emojis unintentionally has better gay representation than most modern media is insane

[@cupio-stardust]

What

[@shawerful5209]

"No, he is got a point"

[@THEMIMIK]

I love how in the movie, it depicts emoticons as ancient relics, while in real life in the current year of 2023, most people use emoticons to express themselves and are usually at the ends of sentences. Not to say emojis are never used because they are, but emoticons and emojis are used simultaneously

[@prageruwu69]

the emoji movie REEKS of 2017 in the worst way possible

[@littlemeow124]

Back in 2017 we were playing with fidget spinners and worrying that trump might start a nuclear war against north korea

[@charliekahn4205]

The whole premise of the movie stopped being anywhere close to a good idea in 2014

[@Isabel-sr8ep]

YES and lord does it give me a headache…like the kind you get right behind your eyes and it stings all day I see this movie and I automatically get physically ill 2017 was not it-

[@Isabel-sr8ep]

@@littlemeow124 I can’t wait to tell this to my kids if we make it to let’s say 2040 lol me and my brother collected so many damn fidget spinners it’s actually ridiculous I still find them in old toy bins and get war flashbacks we thought owning these made us cool and quirky my brother would BEG our mom to a fidget spinner every single time we went shopping now I feel bad looking back because it was the goofiest shit ever I remember adults and parents thinking it was ridiculous that kids where so addicted to these things and honestly I don’t blame them i don’t remember what the hype was or why I loved them so much lol Omg I wrote a paragraph essay nostalgia trip over thanks for reading :)

[@Sasha-zw9ss]

@@Isabel-sr8ep And I genuinely liked mine, but didn't use that much because it was made cringe. But that's only because I already need to have to do something with my hands pretty much all the time.

[@seashell2504]

Fun fact, I was 14 when this movie came out and I saw it in theaters. I went ironically because I thought it would be bad in a funny way, like The Room. But no… it was just bad in the regular way. I think it still impacts me to this day because I have a massive aversion to using emojis when I text and I try to avoid them at all costs but idk…

[@AnEmu404]

I have a similar thing with not using emojis now! I like emoticons because real normal people came up with them, not nasty corporation marketing teams. Also, i only watched this movie because my brother forced me to, and we found it equally boring.

[@cosmicdust2668]

my friend and I did the exact same thing and I still barely use emojis and never any of the faces. every time i see someone use them I have like a jumpscare reaction

[@CantRead1]

​@@cosmicdust2668 same. Seeing Emojis make me die inside.

[@dino2535]

yeahhhhh emojis give me war flashbacks to when they were fucking EVERYWHERE

[@okjeffy6581]

The only thing I liked about the movie was the animation.

[@purplehaze2358]

To say this film aged poorly is to imply it wasn't already rotten on release.

[@-r-3656]

God, I remember that 11-year-old me memorized half the lines in this film. Truly a 🤓 moment.

[@bellabrown6951]

GAY BALLS????!?!?!

[@z90nos-cd2ol]

YES

[@choleslaw9286]

I was a teenager when this came out and the title “does it hold up” made me bust out laughing. It didn’t hold up the year it came out. We all mad fun of it. It was like our morbius

[@Idkwhatmynameshouldbe662]

@@jaxsterminator8634 What are you smoking?

[@Idkwhatmynameshouldbe662]

@@jaxsterminator8634 Ok maybe you’re on something

[@Idkwhatmynameshouldbe662]

@@jaxsterminator8634 Your opinion is wrong

[@Idkwhatmynameshouldbe662]

@@jaxsterminator8634 Nope

[@Idkwhatmynameshouldbe662]

@@jaxsterminator8634 It’s a trash movie

[@that_dude0nbacon]

when you said “and everybody did the emoji pop” then *had a mental breakdown* was the best part imo 💀

[@tacoturtle5748]

The snapcube reference is fucking great. I just love the delivery of "The devil. from. the bible." That was my favorite gag in that video, and is my favorite gag here too.

[@hachiiiiko707]

i mean.. i dont think the producers or writers or directors thought about how much humor and trends would change but yeah, it truly is a specimen of its time

[@hikeilokei]

I want this movie to be the only thing we leave in a time capsule for aliens.

[@hachiiiiko707]

they would honestly wish they never came to earth

[@shouto5695]

The reki pfp😭💀

[@hachiiiiko707]

🫥

[@mr.x2567]

@@hachiiiiko707They’d probably want humans dead

[@SybilNix]

I need to know if a person “trying to act normal in band class” means that they’re acting normal, or if they’re acting like a band kid who is only slightly less unhinged than the other band kids

[@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I]

Unhinged

[@nickchabot1302]

Depends if you want a band kid, a ✨band✨kid, a self hating band kid, or some dude named Kevin who walked in one day. I hope it’s a Kevin or a self hating one, but it’s likely a ✨band✨ kid

[@ortezac.5339]

​@@nickchabot1302 Kevin is the undercover immortal cameraman in the grand scheme of things

[@johntodd6413]

@@nickchabot1302 I was once a Kevin, except for theatre. Used to sleep there while waiting to get picked up after school and one day their tech kid quit, them yelling woke me up and when they asked if I had a laptop/sound editing skills and lucky for them I was a KZbin gamer. Literally replaced the other tech kids month of work in 2 hours.

[@Uuryke]

Thank you for saving me from ever hearing the dialogue of this movie again, i would've went absolutely insane if i heard "bye Felicia" or had to witness the "emoji pop" again😭

[@saltystrudel9997]

As a kid I heard people talk about it and wanted to watch it but my parents are strict on what we watch so I watched it in secret and ooooh boy wish I could have those 90 minutes of my life back

[@slightlyoffensivedadjokes]

I was a 14 year old deeply immersed in meme culture when this came out, so as well as being a very tentative viewer of the jacksfilms emoji movie era, I was so excited to see it. towards the end, when the characters are doing "the emoji bop", I started crying actual tears. the emoji movie was the last movie I ever watched in a movie theater.

[@nevermindmyparentsimthepunk]

don't let it be the last forever April has a lot of movies coming out there's a Dracula type movie, Mario movie, Dungeons and Dragon movie and a few more

[@cradica]

I was 14 when this movie came out as well!

[@gabrisgamer450]

John wick 4 is out you should watch that for sure

[@sergioramirez924]

The last sentence reads like a tragedy

[@cl0v3rg4rd3n]

@@sergioramirez924it is

[@bythephone5638]

the emoji movie was for its time what an amongus movie would be like if it came out, like, tomorrow. targeted to kids who like popular things and forgetting that children actually have enough thinking skills to enjoy a decent narrative instead of treating them like idiots with no object permanence. like, kids are naive but they're not dumb??

[@cynicalperson161]

An Among Us movie makes much more sense than an Emoji movie though 😂

[@bythephone5638]

@@cynicalperson161 right! it would have an actual plot

[@animalnerd4368]

Unironically, a Among Us movie could work if they took the basic setting and expanded upon it to be sort of like a horror movie. Something like the Thing. Of course, at that point, why call it a “Among Us” movie.

[@GameyRaccoon]

Among Us! Starring the celebrity voices of Chris Pratt, Kevin Hart, John Mulaney, Kyle Mooney, and Taylor Swift. It will end with a dance party, the animation will be very ugly cg, and the characters are inexplicably redesigned.

[@animalnerd4368]

@@GameyRaccoon in retrospect, maybe a film based on the concept is a terrible idea

[@MielOnNuage]

I have a feeling that if Sony hadn't made this movie, Disney and Pixar would've. They literally go "what if --- had feelings?"

[@bubblesbelmont5603]

Also, why didn't we get an explanation as to why literally ALL of the kid's friends (INCLUDING HIS CRUSH WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE DANCE??) are at the phone store ?

[@HelpIess]

"like a steven universe fan trying to act normal in band class" BROOO NAHH IM IN BAND AND A STEVEN UNIVERSE FAN U DID NOT HAVE TO DO ME LIKE THAT 💀💀☠

[@hikeilokei]

had to do it to em

[@bluepeppermint3790]

When I saw high five upon starting this video, knowing nothing about the movie, I thought to myself "God he has such a James Corden face." Unfortunately I was right

[@theala8225]

I was a fourteen year old with a learning disability when this... shit sandwich of a movie came out. Worse, it ended up as one of the movies middle school teachers put on in that weird limbo after exams, but before the year was over. Those weeks I played the disabled card frequently and without shame to leave those teacher's classrooms.

[@ILikeMakeBelieveUnironically]

Gotta love how a video review of the movie is funnier and more appealing to the kids than the whole movie that it reviews

[@choxomoxxo565]

Don't you love it when your dad tries to save you from execution by revealing he is, in fact, also a bisexual

[@totallynotahuman9933]

“Harder than I question my gender” Hits different when it’s TRUE

[@grandpotato4326]

dude that scream at 18:30. that is GENUINE. RAW. EMOTION. gyat dayum.

[@ianeons9278]

“2017 was one of the worst years of my life” *Mario Odyssey and Breath of the Wild releasing:*

[@Strawberry10697]

Even Bendy and Cuphead Releasing:

[@theonlyrosy]

The movie came out on my 10th birthday. What a way to celebrate a decade alive

[@hikeilokei]

Sony knew what you needed

[@okjeffy6581]

This movie came out when I was 21.

[@arny625]

@@okjeffy6581 what

[@terrienr333]

This came out on my 13th birthday! Happy birthday twin T-T.

[@AvoKiwi_1252]

Same

[@biddleeewho4181]

I love how the writers went out of their way to give the meh emoji an actual name, and people still forgot it. Pretty sad tbh

[@ISimp4FictionalAndEmoMen]

Guess you could say it was pretty "meh"

[@vsptylore3639]

So, despite the whole premise being "kids just use emojis instead of communicating," this kid made a phone call to get his whole phone erased after two minor inconveniences?

[@yonaoki]

ive watched this movie once a year ever since it came out to remind myself that life isnt always good

[@moondoesthings]

Don’t put yourself through that torture, please, it hurt to read that.

[@OrigamiAhsoka]

💀💀💀

[@greatboredompineappl]

I’m so glad I was too old to be the target demographic for this movie when it came out and also no longer a summer camp counselor bc I would have had to take kids to watch this thing fifty times like I did with Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

[@lumis2004]

Sorry I'm laughing at this

[@mariliafreitas7424]

Ok but Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was actually good

[@lumis2004]

@@mariliafreitas7424 at least it had effort unlike the crap of today

[@chipskylark7249]

13:19 the absurdity of this sentence almost killed me

[@mysteriousluck]

I remember watching this movie in class (we had a free hour and the teacher chose this monstrosity for us to watch) and cringing basically every scene, this movie had such a "what's poppin' fellow teens?" vibe

[@whyioughta178]

I literally died when you said “and her weave comes off and it’s revealed that she’s a white woman”

[@squarohedron0664]

rest in peace

[@maebees22]

I was feeling kinda sad so thanks for the fun commentary and persona music

[@hikeilokei]

Of course :) Hope you’re feeling better :))

[@noodlesandwich2945]

Persona music? This is gonna be good...

[@lexxxxxxxxxxxxc]

i have a confession.... this is unironically one of my most favorite movies 😭

[@hikeilokei]

Seek help 🫶

[@squarohedron0664]

of course. of course you're a splatoon fan.

[@lexxxxxxxxxxxxc]

@@squarohedron0664 so what

[@lexxxxxxxxxxxxc]

@@hikeilokei never

[@redstrider6814]

​@@squarohedron0664Now that leads to a thought: would this movie be hated less in the Splatoon universe?

[@boojersey13]

Genuinely some decent and actually engaging commentary, when I was watching someone cover Velma all I could think was she was just repeating what was happening really and her jokes were pretty mid not to shit on someone else but it made me wish I knew a really good commentary channel lmao; you not only /comment/ on what's happening but it was witty enough that I actually laughed out loud a few times. Subscribed for sure

[@aurorasaura5907]

I love that Jailbreak's character arc is the same as Vanellope from wreck it ralph, she's a glitch/hacker that can't get through the firewall/can't get out of the game, but she's secretly a princess and her powers help save the device

[@gloomiiii]

except i actually cared and was rooting for vanellope she also gave me wildstyle vibes

[@GalaxyGhostz]

Yes!!!!

[@aurorasaura5907]

@@gloomiiii absolutely, I ended up missing writing the part of my comment where I was going to say they *stole* vanellope's arc, lol

[@keira4840]

1. I wanna rescue the Just Dance lady from this film, she's cute and she deserves better. I say this both as a woman and as a bisexual. 2. I'm really fascinated by the like, specific, weird subgenre of manic pixie dream girl that I would classify characters like JailBreak as (and the evil female smurf with the blue hair from the smurf movie I never saw). They want these characters to be WyldStyle/Lucy from Lego Movie SO BAD, but Lucy actually works as a character. JailBreak seems fine, and maybe I'd feel differently if I watched the actual movie (lmao), but from what I can tell, they don't do a good job of establishing who she is. Why's she disguised as just a hacker? ("of COURSE you have blue hair and pronouns") Is she seeking freedom from societal expectations? Does she dislike the role laid out for her? Does she dislike herself? WyldStyle continuously reinvents herself because she wants to be interesting and important. She wants to be cool because she's insecure. It makes sense, it's well-established, it fits with the overall message of the movie, the other characters repeatedly call attention to how absurd she's being, and when she opens up to Emmett she does so because their interactions have made her comfortable with that "boring" version of herself. She works because she exists within a competent narrative AND the Lego Movie is extremely self-aware. It knows it's advanced version of product placement, but it also knows that it is simultaneously a concise, genuine story at its core. The Emoji Movie might be self-referential, but I don't think that's the same thing as being self-aware. It gives off the very clear vibe that everyone involved in its production was too concerned with the potential profit to pay any attention to the quality of the piece. Might be why there's so much onscreen literal crap. Also, gonna keep comparing it to the Lego Movie here, it's clear they didn't spend more than 15 minutes considering their world-building, as this analysis makes apparent. The world(s) of the Lego Movie made sense, had clear rules and parameters, and even when the movie takes you outside of the established world into the real world containing the legos, it does it in a way that doesn't leave you confused by what's happening. As you pointed out, this movie can't even come up with a legitimate reason for why it would take long enough to travel between apps to warrant a so-called shortcut. Anyway thank you for your service, I'll never watch this movie but I will watch more of your videos xoxo

[@morigaena333]

EXACTLY like Jailbreak is such a WyldStyle knock off

[@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360]

😂😂😂😂

[@connorthompson7147]

Can we take a moment and appreciate how this guy is GENUINELY funny, like I’m listening to a friend and not a KZbinr right now

[@abba9265]

This is one of the funniest movie reviews I’ve seen, keep up the good work!

[@sketchyart8411]

Bro I was a mentally disabled teen in 2017 and even I hated it.

[@avosmash2121]

I remember one Christmas where a little niece of my bf came up to me while I was drawing something. She is very quirky and adorable and she reminds me of myself in a ways. She says she loves my art, and my goth funky clothes and says she wishes she could draw like me/wear the kind of things she wants to at school without being teased, especially for the movies she likes. My heart melts and I say "aw hun, you shouldn't listen to bullies, you should enjoy ANYTHING that makes you smile!-" "I LIKE THE EMOJI MOVIE!" "...well.... "THE EMOJI MOVIE IS **MY FAVORITE** MOVIE, I THINK ITS THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE! DO YOU LIKE IT TOO?" "-I gotta go."

[@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360]

*Legalize nuclear bombs* SWAG MESSAIAH

[@wattamborenjoyer]

Bro, you are so entertaining, I loved everyone second of this! I didn’t go five seconds without chuckling or just laughing my ass off. I love your video, man. Keep it up!

[@hikeilokei]

Thank you :)

[@theinvisiblegentleman1142]

I love clicking random video essays and hearing delightful persona music in the background.

[@bea665]

It’s so annoying 😭

[@biggestastiest]

trust me even when you think you've stopped questioning your gender... you still have not stopped questioning it.

[@hikeilokei]

It's an ongoing battle man...

[@biggestastiest]

@@hikeilokei im sisyphus and gender is my boulder

[@kovudiangelo7734]

@@biggestastiest ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@bl1tz533]

I validate my femininity by having sex with 40 year old gay bears

[@a-s-greig]

​@@biggestastiest A raw line, actually. 👏👏👏

[@tyswizzel]

I think making someone watch this movie should be considered a war crime

[@theofficialliedetector1545]

What if you willingly watch it?

[@tyswizzel]

@@theofficialliedetector1545 worse than suicide

[@hikeilokei]

still a war crime

[@tyswizzel]

@Vierka Chora we truly do in fact live in a society

[@GumboFortnite]

New torture method just dropped

[@atroqui9mylove]

You can tell the sprinting emoji as a human actually exists because of the dancing lady, in the vip lounge

[@tylerthompson7461]

I walked into the theater to watch this movie about 20 minutes after it started and I’ve never felt it necessary to rewatch it and see what I missed 😭

[@tinycatfriend]

"The Devil. from: The Bible" hey REFERENCE (just feeding the algorithm gods, cheers!)

[@hikeilokei]

Thank you tinymeows

[@c4tfsh8]

HEYYY SHADOW ITSSS MEEEE, THE DEVIL

[@mrtruman4339]

​@@c4tfsh8"I LOVE YOUUUUUU"

[@KotaBugVO]

@@mrtruman4339 “I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH YOUUU”

[@orlandodanielgonzalezalcar3360]

😅🔫🗿

[@humanperson2480]

Fourteen year old with a severe learning disability here: the emoji movie was bad when it was released and worse now.

[@cupio-stardust]

As a fellow teenager who is also disabled, it sucks.

[@sammyuel7329]

I’m so ashamed that I have this movie on DVD, my mom got it for me one Christmas and I’m not sure why

[@lovesick_loser]

i swear the only profit this movie made was from people hate-watching and the 3000 sponsors it had... even the trailer felt like just a big advertisement

[@xX_Knives_Xx]

i love this video but 16:04 hurts me on a spiritual level because he sent her the lyrics of Diamonds by Rihanna and you where like "what 14 year old uses ecstasy"

[@CamzCritiques]

this fr

[@error-try-again-later]

Tbh if this were accurate to real teen boys I think he would have sent her Drake lyrics

[@Fizzymilkshakee]

"She doesn't really like people touching her" just like me fr 😔😔😔😔😔😔

[@qJusy]

​@Cio Lake It's a joke

[@L3X1N]

@Cio Lake Your intentions are noble but the comment is a joke

[@jojol.2630]

KZbin recommended this to me in the middle of a bad spiral, and I really enjoyed it! So thanks!

[@hikeilokei]

I’m glad I could make you feel a little better! Have a good weekend :)

[@Squigglybun]

saw this on my recommendations and am not disappointed, your pacing and humor is awesome. absolutely lost it at a few times laughing lmao. subscribed :P

[@katjosephperez8772]

Well, a good morning to you, too! I’m sorry you had to watch and edit this movie, but I’m thoroughly entertained

[@hikeilokei]

Glad my sacrifice was worth it 🫡

[@nekorina9011]

that disability joke was kinda ableist ngl

[@chels_o5]

@Skarbie Well literally

[@laura_drawzz3792]

Yeah that was a huge turn off from this video.. it’s giving 2016 commentary community

[@spudothy]

​​@Skarbie Well the pinned comment saying "I'm glad you warned me not to watch this movie"?

[@jpretzel0218]

Just so everyone knows, we could’ve had a Popeye movie starring Tom Kenney instead of this.

[@paperbagproductions8786]

Every time I get a reminder that this trainwreck of a "film" exists, I die a little inside

[@terrienr333]

I should correct here that to my knowledge, in 2017, this movie came out directly AFTER the emoji craze. Like 2016 was the craze, they had just missed it and when it came out it was already out of date to begin with.

[@Thing9999]

Maybe not even 2016. I remember starting to see emoji-themed stuff everywhere from like 2014?? I even remember having a pair of emoji-patterned leggings 😭 I was 12

[@ARCHIVED9610]

duude i have an emoji blanket still hahah

[@adoroselatte]

should've been 2014 as it was emoji craze