Hilarious News Headlines

[@VaazkLShorts]

HIGHLY REQUESTED - MIGHT DO ANOTHER IF PEOPLE ENJOY! - DROP SOME IDEAS AND SUBSCRIBE FOR DAILY VIDEOS!

[@LücasPetit-n7x]

Kids or gen alpha memes

[@acknant9863]

oddly specific 109

[@rustyskittypetcollar]

craziest quotes from Twitter/X

[@n64briel]

Day 153 of asking vaazkl to do donut memes

[@deniseboots1401]

NFL Memes

[@operaatio5117]

That 70 year old guy started driving when he was 12. He drove for 58 years without a license, without getting caught. That man deserves the license.

[@tails20342]

yez

[@matts0688]

I’m sure he’s better than 90% of the drivers who are legally on the road today. Not sure how they all got their licenses but it’s a joke at this point

[@crownthefurry]

GIVE HIM THE FUCKING LICENCE

[@alexkunce2006]

You don't need a license to drive. You just need a license if you get pulled over.

[@evanharrison4054]

I don't think "deserve" has anything to do with anything, least not in this world. See, all licenses are scams. If you pick mushrooms and they are the wrong type and someone dies from them, you already go to prison for murder. The only reason you'd come to me for surgery would be if no actual trained doctor would agree to treat you. ...those are just two extreme examples. Licenses are the way to screw people who've otherwise committed no wrongdoing but they lack the means to acquire arbitrary papers in a world where pretty much everything can be learned over the internet for free or for peanuts. Let's flip it on its head though. What if tomorrow, the system says you can't cook for your family members if you don't have the "cooking license"? Theoretically, it could be touted as a way to avoid big groups getting food poisoning(think thanksgiving turkey being cooked at 600C for 20 minutes by tome moron) but in reality, it would just be a way to take millions in extra revenue for the system. You either can do something, or you can't. ...and what most people can do is buy their licenses. I'm not even kidding. I know dozens of people who were told by their driving instructors they will fail them unless they pay. A month's worth of the average salary will literally buy you a driver's license in most places in the world. It's not a very smart or reliable system where a singular person can decide if you are fit to drive a multiple ton vehicle. Just saying. I don't drive, but if I did, and the reason I got reamed by the pigs was my lack of license, I'd flip my shit. I'd wager all those lunatics who almost ran over me on the zebra, had valid licenses. ...anyway, I'm just butthurt that getting a piece of paper saying you are allowed to do something, costs so much money. It's literally the reason I do so much dumpster diving. At least that doesn't require a license. Yet. TLDR: licenses separate the haves from the have nots. I'm the latter. No matter how smart or motivated I am, I will never do anything directly productive to humanity, cause I pretty much lack all papers. My only license is the one that says I speak English. ...which could be proven by this useless wall of angry text. Don't think most of us "deserve" the lives we have. Anyway, if licenses were free, I'd STFU so hard my last words ever would be "I love me some good old meritocracy", but as it stands now, I think the vast majority of humanity just gets screwed out of living up to their full potential cause of them while the useless fat cats gain even more weight. One more thought: Horse drawn carriages did not require licenses, even though two horses and a cart running over you is no less deadly than a car. You either could, or could not ride a horse. If you tried despite not knowing, good ol' Charlie Darwin took you out of circulation sooner rather than later. I think...that was better. Meritocracy, rather than Idiocracy. And now I'm fighting back the tears, thanks for triggering my PTSD...

[@MichealClarkMC]

first guy was in for a real surprise

[@dogeygamerplayz6437]

Bro took that as a challenge

[@Rdr_glazer]

He wasn't going to let that slide

[@Art.and.Hamsters]

He thought “I know he ain’t actually gonna do it”

[@Inyourwalls168]

Fr

[@MichealClarkMC]

lol people actually liked 🤣🤣🤣

[@Train_lizard]

Fun fact: the Jellyfish Apocalypse one is a reference to the idea we had in the past that jellyfish would make up around 90% of all marine life due to overfishing and whaling by 2030

[@phuonglinhvu4856]

In Vietnam, we eat jellyfish so yeah

[@marcorocchi6758]

0:20 I remember hearing about this. They made him so mad he took his bulldozer and modified to have armor plates over a foot thick, making it an impenetrable tank (without the cannon), then he literally destroyed a lot of important buildings in this city in Colorado. The police shot a lot of rounds but that didn't stop the tank, they even tought to call in an Apache attack; but the bulldozer's engine failed and the guy inside the tank shot himself.

[@HannahTheRealComputerEngineer]

It’s not that the engine failed. It’s that the police dropped a grenade down the exhaust.

[@lemagicbaguette1917]

@@HannahTheRealComputerEngineer the engine still failed, didn't it?

[@HannahTheRealComputerEngineer]

@@lemagicbaguette1917 I mean, yes, but that’s an important fact about it

[@lemagicbaguette1917]

@@HannahTheRealComputerEngineer after all, context is indeed everything.

[@arveshi342]

@@HannahTheRealComputerEngineerIf I recall correctly, the killdozer’s treads got stuck in a basement and when the man realized he couldn’t get unstuck, he shot himself. They had to cut the thing open with an acetylene torch to retrieve his body.

[@RNumz]

3:24 I… well yeah that’s a really nice blanket of snow.

[@DoloresLehmann]

I found that so relatable!

[@CanadaPlayz48]

3:02 I love how the cat got its own transcription

[@burntoven93]

Rip Gangaram, the friendly crocodile.

[@phoenixsenju8984]

Rip

[@Sir_fez_the_2st]

O7

[@jamesmangion6587]

RIP Gangaram, you will be missed.

[@yousseftamer4943]

RIP

[@turbo_marc]

Daily reminder to never say "What are you gonna do, stab me?" to someone who's going to stab you.

[@aaaaaxo]

but what if I don't know if they're going to stab me?

[@turbo_marc]

@@aaaaaxo Just wait and see, it's safer than taunting them.

[@TETANUS.]

Quote from man shot. "What are you gonna do, shoot me?"

[@jaxon3186]

8:30 As someone who lives in "this place" I can confirm our electricity supply is fully dependent upon ice cream trucks

[@clckc]

I love that his voice gets softer as he reads the wholesome ones

[@redlion-paladin4609]

3:50 SCP-3008 moment

[@tamrabrawley4573]

So true

[@jasmine22104]

11:40 as an american i will defend our using of objects as measurements. Like who knows what 20mph feels like, but we do know how to conceptualize how fast wind must be to knock over a trash can. or us using washing machines to measure. We all know how big they are.

[@kebien6020]

A washing machine is about 1 meter on each direction and 1m^3 in volume, just use meters at that point.

[@phoenixsenju8984]

⁠@@kebien6020you had to look that up for the comment.

[@vectorsahel5420]

I rather use cheeseburgers per bald eagle, way more convenient

[@CombustibleLemon77]

@@vectorsahel5420 large boulder the size of a small boulder

[@busterkeaton1041]

I don't like those type of measurements but it's funny that the chef loosing 21 stone was in here as well. Americans would never say or even know what that means.

[@FondlesHandles]

The guy who sued himself and won was actually a genius, as his insurance paid the bill

[@yamahadx7synthesiser]

1:07 bros' got priorities straight actually

[@hanscoelmont6383]

1:18 That parrot voice is ON POINT!

[@My_Name_Here420]

2:45 IT HIT HIM LIKE A TRUCK- ok im sorry

[@eye-conicben1048]

She's a runner She's a trackstar She hit gim with a car He ain't getting far

[@fireembliam9090]

2:38 Catoflage.

[@P00bPartys]

bro after 1:37 the next news was bbc news

[@worldofhunter1636]

15:05 Bro's never watched Fairly Odd Parents....

[@Gilhelmi]

To be fair. He is British and not all American shows (from the 2000s era and before) made it across the pond. Only in the modern world can we simultaneously primer TV shows across the world.

[@AresEverett]

Man the shock value is really high with these. Some of them really got a good laugh out of me. Thanks man!

[@the_chill_man]

7:49 why has the man upstairs blessed me with the ability to read

[@Art.and.Hamsters]

Florida men be wildin' 💀

[@futureandevolution8315]

0:12 Atleast it wasn't on another planet like Spongebob said

[@feuerling]

What if Earth is the "other planet"

[@AeonicArc]

2:14 okay but can you really blame this guy 😭

[@BATTLEBOTS_BOI]

10:23 He doesn’t regret it. Look at that smile.

[@233j]

well most the photos shown in the video are from google instead of actual footage

[@Link-from-hyrule]

0:49 imagine not recognizing yourself

[@KareemPlayzYT]

1:16 this made me laugh

[@iamnothing.really]

1:49 - A truly an “Only in Ohio” moment 💀

[@AutobotsKickAft]

15:06 Doug dimmadome (dim-ma-dome) is a character in cartoon 'fairly odd parents' who has a HUGE white hat like that (Oh my gawd there's so many florida headlines xD as someone living in florida, that is super funny)

[@busterkeaton1041]

And that's Butch Hartman, creator of The Fairly Oddparents.Odd parents. Making the comment I mean.

[@AutobotsKickAft]

@@busterkeaton1041 oh right I did see that but forgot to comment on that fact. Tho I think (I can’t rewatch video) it was him posting/showing someone else’s comment. But anyway yeah the creator brought it up to ppls attention, forgot to mention

[@gamerpl9037]

5:14 Ah yes, the old good "lagun". This thing was so popular a children's book was even written about it

[@whatnujgaming714]

2:19 see even the animals hate TikTok.

[@SpaceBattleshipYamato-ps2jc]

2:03 That face tells me that bro knew what he did and would do it again

[@OfficialSylvantianAUTTP]

1:26 WHY NOT!?

[@Link-from-hyrule]

I know I used porn so I don't have to pay to watch

[@Kawf._.is-trash]

9:05 theres a story on why the husband did this! So both of them likes to prank each other, one day the wife set up a clever prank (i don’t remember tho) and her husband topped that by tattooing that, she didn’t like it at first but soon accepted it as a symbol of love (i think?)

[@Adam-xf6sq]

Minecraft villages after someone speedruns: 3:07

[@viktorminer7409]

That horse was actually a guy in a t rex blowup costume if you look closely

[@MasterArchfiend]

That last one was just plain sad. Rest in peace you beautiful animal.

[@FredrickFazbearington1987]

4:22 commas could have helped here. I would like to think she is not married to her son

[@pumpkinthevibeycat]

0:21 that was the "kill-dozer" incident in a small town in Colorado in 2004

[@Melbiza]

Marvin heemeyer is my idol

[@TibuGT]

that monke is the best creature that ever lived 2:18

[@gamejamesindependent7415]

I always love watching VaazkL

[@Crows_Hoard]

the croc at the end

[@MaloryGrimes-em1rg]

0:16 What a surprise

[@whitespaceyuki]

0:02 same vibe as “What are you gonna do? SEASON ME?!” /ref

[@itsriskyynotrisky]

That’s a hecking good lookin tank :)

[@SSNNPBCC]

No seriously though like holy shit what's wrong with them destroying peoples houses but also that's sick af & quite an impressive feet that he should be hired by the government for.

[@skitzocalypso5840]

I would say make the Island happen, but I'm too disappointed that you don't know Doug Dimmadome of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome... you never watched Fairly Odd Parents?! 😅

[@westtxtapper]

He's in the UK, it probably isn't shown over there.

[@skitzocalypso5840]

@@westtxtapper I'm in the UK... it most definitely is.

[@Grayson-tk5hn]

@@skitzocalypso5840 or are you

[@Epicwatermelondotzip]

13:00 it amazes me how Europeans can call us stupid for not using the metric system but weigh themselves in stones. It's not 1638 anymore.

[@hefoxed]

Fyi on neutering/the fat lynx meme - Obesity is a side effect of gonadectomy (which neutering is a version of). Multiple reasons for that, effects some more than others, there's a good meta study worth reading on this for house cats and dogs. The reduced activity of enclosures also contributes (like for indoor cats). Diet can help control that, but there's hard to study question of what that means for well being to have increased hunger with a controlled diet. - based on studies around serotonin in other species, gonadectomy increases serotonin (which oddly enough, while can improve mood, can also cause anxiety [see serotonin syndrome]), but may also long term decrease it, which can contribute to anxiety and depression. As far as I can tell, the studies in cats just haven't been done in this regard. (In dogs , depression hasn't been studied, but several studies have noted increased anxiety based behaviors). In cats, it does reduce fighting/territorial behavior and makes cats more in need of human care (... for some reason ). .. so there is that.. and it increases female cats lifespan due to mammary cancer rates (less clear for dogs, lot of confounding bias due to socieocomic factors in that research due to intact animals being more common in low income households, their breasts cancer can be deadly, but easier to treat then cats). - lowered energy has been seen in dog and cat studies, which may contribute to obesity. Lowered energy is also a side effect of depression. - the idea that other animals don't enjoy non-reproductive sex is more based on religion and patriarchy in many respects, and years of poorly done research due to biases more than reality. I suggest the book b*tch: on the female of the species for a deep dive into this history and the newer research. So reducing animals libido to prevent sex is ... Probably not exactly great ethically. So that cat being happier long term from neutering and having a lowered libido is ... Debatable to say the least. Hopefully this comment encourages folk to look into this closer prior to sterilizing their pets via gonadectomy (with hormone sparing sterililzation options like vastecomy and tubal ligation/ovary sparing spay being possible but not easily accessible due to limited trained professionals). Reducing overpopulation is important, but so is public and medical policies being based on good, unbiased research and people being able to make informed chooses with medical decisions. Misinformation/myths around medical stuff, like with that meme, ain't great. But it's a meme, people shouldn't base medical information from memes. But we do get influenced by memes.

[@Ariellesart]

Holy moly

[@feuerling]

(Fun) fact: Female ferrets can die from their estrus becoming an estrogen-fuelled self destruct mode if they're not bred or castrated (surgically or with hormone implants)

[@ethansanchez6267]

​@@feuerling"fun fact"

[@katie7748]

Same goes for humans. Any chick who has ever been on birth control should know the endocrine system is nothing to mess with...but people keep messing with it anyway. (Goes for guys, too!) This is part of why there's such a push to be wary of what you eat, drink, use for hygiene, wash your clothes with, etc. Those hippie dippie people warning for decades were right. (Insert Toy Story meme here, with the caption, "Endocrine disruptirs...endocrine disruptors everywhere.") And the best part? It's *ALL* part of the Plan, man.

[@clckc]

This is better than a high school paper I love it thank you

[@_V0ided_]

0:18 Should’ve read her own book💀

[@CosmicKitten67]

4:52 well, yes, but actually no

[@CaptBlock]

4:45 is just the beginning of ToTK

[@Link-from-hyrule]

Yea

[@FondlesHandles]

That parrot impression was perfect

[@1personithink]

🦜

[@busterkeaton1041]

Wasn't expecting the parrot impersonation, made me laugh.

[@Ariellesart]

“What are you gonna do stab me” 😭

[@HarryCline11]

6:39 almost killed me with laughter 😂😂😂😂😂wtfff😂😂😂😂

[@arcanace_]

9:26 What did he get an award for then?!

[@ralsei.1]

17:18 dude i was eating 😭

[@EK77-xi8nz]

3:39 cant remember asking

[@DanielCordero-ce6km]

12:41 the fact that Is a scoop AND the GUY Is called Michael,makes It More a fnaf meme

[@Link-from-hyrule]

2:30 legend

[@2ndRAK25]

That Elderly man at the concert is a lad. Still enjoys a good genre of music because he does t let his age stop his fun

[@vedantsethi7124]

0:48 bruh what💀

[@olivia07694]

14:12 *FOLLOW THE DAMN TRAIN, CJ*

[@DestinyYlisse]

0:12...Take it away, Spongebob. Spongebob:And remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets!

[@dusk3971]

0:20 they had it coming

[@SheepLiver]

17:59 yes absolutely

[@Kyra-Nostal]

2:58 After that, he should be voice actor🤯🤯

[@Melon_cat841]

0:20 he’s a real life video game boss

[@Iṉsomṉi_Xx]

I was looking for a good meme video, checked my notifications (nothing) checks again BOOM perfect timing thanks!

[@ItalianCountryball11]

0:03 “What are you going to do, stab me?” I feel you dude. 😂 7:18 Omg! 😂 8:26 All of the Asexuals: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 12:35 I think Trump is meaning the country Chad 🇹🇩, not the person. But Idc.

[@mrstardust8718]

17:38 that just under 4 months

[@MakennaWilson-hb9pr]

That pug was truly "Out of this World"

[@powerfuluwu]

the amount of times this guy mentioned him being 16 is insane, gimme a penny for each of them

[@drydogg]

I remember when my uncle David died. Hundreds of people attended both the wake and the funeral. He was the best and least expensive plumber in my hometown. He taught me the two rules of plumbing: 1. Shit runs downhill. 2. Don't bite your nails. He was working on someone's kitchen sink when she walked in and found him, dead, on the floor... Asshole hadn't even finished the job. No, I kid. His son, my cousin Brian, said, in his eulogy, that some people pay for the new wing of the hospital and get their names on plaques, but when you spend your whole life helping many people, in many ways, every day, your name is engraved on their hearts. My uncle David saved my father's life on two separate occasions, during their childhood. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't even be here.

[@Evil_Kanye]

14:14 I thought gta was fictional 😭

[@suspicious_fishes]

14:22 got some political compass memes in there lol

[@Jay_ZZ-v2t]

Every time I watch one of your videos it brightness my day ❤ thank you 🎉😂 you have helped me so much without knowing it

[@CoolrexAAAAAAA]

Gives the same vibe as "what are you gonna do big guy? Sit on me?"

[@not-so-obvious_autism777]

0:07 I mean, he could’ve tho, right? Maybe? Can you transfer sperm that isn’t yours…? Genes are confusing af

[@Forxstt_0]

I’ve seen similar situations in stories, chances are a relative was black or smth and the gene went to the baby

[@Link-from-hyrule]

2:52 w horse

[@anacademicitgirl]

for 17:36 , that is 91.25 days of just watching the trilogy. 91.25 days straight. 2,190 hours. 131,400 minutes. You're welcome guys.

[@ariapaintyt]

12:48 "And it was another great day of saving the bees :)"

[@Mashedpotatoesanimations]

I have never had a PB&J

[@VaazkLShorts]

same

[@Mashedpotatoesanimations]

my friends say I'm missing out @@VaazkLShorts

[@Catfromthevoid2863]

Don’t try it it’s MID

[@AaR-q6y]

13:36 im bouta get arrested and request going to the Miami county jail💀

[@cadenvickery3382]

2:11 grandpa wild for that 😂

[@sillyguy-qw3xl]

who the heck trained that toddler to shoot people

[@JadedKake]

Funfact: i actually was there in ecuador when the first one occured, where the guy said "what are you gonna do? Stab me?" He got stabbed 17 times

[@DoloresLehmann]

Yeah, very funny.

[@huggo534]

🎶“is that Doug dimmadome? owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?”🎶 *NOT RIGHT*

[@monkeylady8150]

Did you blur out 16:16 's name‽

[@VaazkLShorts]

yeah i shouldve checked over that my bad didnt need a blur

[@silly.k4tr1naa]

“Gun Shaped Cloud Spotted Over School. ALL STUDENTS SUSPENDED FOR 5 DAYS.” Bro what did they do? 💀

[@KrzysGold]

1:02 Excuse me?

[@KitsuneCentral]

Makes me really miss Jay Leno's Headlines back when he was still on late night TV.

[@thecinnamonduck730]

All jokes aside, the lady who ran with the puppy is an awesome person fort that. Respect 🫡

[@unownk2245]

8:00 a maze with no prize

[@Spinex0196]

you dont even realize that you are trapped

[@aadenandfriends5869]

@@Spinex0196your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles

[@DINORBLX23]

Quote of a man shot dead "Oh please, that's just an airsoft pistol"

[@deinemudda6104]

15:07 Doug Dimmadome is a character from "The fairly odd parents" he is always wearing such a riddicolously big hat too also in white

[@Misterman8998]

He created a labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize

[@jaxonedwards-ez8ey]

1:10 honestly I can't blame them. Its a good song but ten times is crazy.

[@0NiKiSUxNuLL838]

watching the whole LoTR trilogy 300 times would be about equal with ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE DAYS

[@nissareback4040]

0:13 he look suspiciously like my history teacher 🧐