His Silence Is A DECISION! The Sneaky Way He's Testing You And How To Respond When He's Been Distant

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Alex has generously offered to give away his eBook (an Amazon Best-Seller) PLUS his "7 Powerful Messages To Make A Man Change His Behavior" report for FREE to my community! Get them both here: click.frenchrelationshipexpert.com/7-powerful-messages-special-offer?affiliate_id=2242878

[@arlenejohnson3907]

I'm on that relationship now thank you. But I think im in love him and his son?? How do I get out of it all

[@dlwsport250]

@@arlenejohnson3907 Move forward with your life slowly by adding a valuable goal to your life. As you add something that takes your energy and time whilst improving your own sense of self you will notice that your strength to set boundaries and keep the boundaries will give you the resolve and knowledge that you DESERVE better.

[@leyancuisine6426]

Thank you 💕

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! This video might be helpful for anyone who’s looking to let go and move on from a man like this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@theprolificnetwork4670]

Can you do the same discussion About women she's stalking you on Instagram but not talking not replying to anything but just following you. She knows how you feel she knows you love her but she's not coming through the door what is going on in her mind what does she have to fear when we already showed we have a great relationship.

[@nancyangelastro177]

Never be afraid of losing someone that’s not afraid of losing you.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely, thanks for sharing! 💞

[@katerynapoydyuk3925]

The best advice! Thank you so much !!! ❤️

[@CA-de1kb]

Mark Twain said, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Good advice.

[@keylimepie8426]

@@Jules-740stop it! Yes you will!! We both will✨ remember, what we think will manifest. 😊

[@Jules-740]

@keylimepie8426 You're right! Thank you!💕 and yes we will! Thank you for your message somehow it makes me feel as if we were good friends who've known eachother. You have good vibes! God bless!

[@Taisha12001]

When someone ghost you, respect the dead and leave them alone.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💜

[@tinamarie8061]

😂😂😂

[@erinalexander4017]

😂😂

[@faitavecamour17]

That’s true 😂

[@goodgirlvicki]

😅😂😂😂😂😂

[@niharika-oh8gd]

Ladies please understand this , that a man's rejection is god's protection and this is for true

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💞

[@meliaasfa8911]

Thanks i believe that

[@dreamweaver8102]

Oh, this comment is on point.

[@peterpatton8736]

When a person ignores you, they are teaching you how to live without them.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here!

[@msprettykawaii950]

true, it happened to me

[@julesybethmedlini]

Right, especially when you are a malignant narcissist!

[@jerrodplummer6850]

I made a mistake by walking away from someone who was supporting me. When I came back to apologize they hit back. It's not the person you need to let go of, its your investment in fixing the mistake which never happened. Love the people on both sides of the mirror. Only then can you let go of the drama.

[@ericfuller6922]

@@jerrodplummer6850 tell me more.

[@monajora1733]

The best sign to recognize a player/narc is when he love bombs you and after he knows that you‘re interested he pulls back and goes silent, returns when he sees you‘re healing and happy without him. So predictable. 😂

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! This video should be helpful for anyone who suspects they might be being love bombed: kzbin.infok8VC2kt7pZE?si=Hwc6Qjv34l8mCB4P

[@RobertSwick-g8d]

How about when a woman do this to you ?

[@bannyadeka1180]

you just described 100% what an x did few days back to me❤❤... i knew something was wrong with him.. i couldn't find an explanation... now i can be at peace 😅

[@amandashaner1141]

Just remember a person can just have avoidance personality, if they do not have at least 4 or more traits other than bein avoidant. They are not narcissistic, the 4 which is usually a liar,bein controlling, manipulative, emotional, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive 1 it don't make them a narc

[@gertrudelisehahn2996]

He could also be anxious avoidant

[@Eden-dm3lf]

You couldn't have said it better. After 6months of no contact, he sent me a "love you always" text on my birthday, my response :" I'm sorry I don't recognize this number". I had moved on totally. Ladies, love yourselves, pamper yourselves, get flowers for yourselves, travel/visit other countries and love God above all. When the time is right God will lead him to find you. Time is too precious to focus on inconsistent men, it's a huge turn-off. No man can be better than the man God has for you.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜

[@saharrihabmayou6820]

INDEED ,so happy to hear that from a lady, that's what I'm up to right now, they make you act bad and then they ask why u're akting like that! SUCH A CONTRADICTORY WORLD!

[@Xubanqueen]

Your so right indeed. GOD IS GOOD ❤ And he will bless us with a good man when we are ready to receive his gift 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Hail2GOD]

That's mean you r the one is untrust and unworthy

[@devinweathersby3668]

Exactly, no games. Stop the games, pick adults not children

[@krissyfry3333]

If a man goes silent, it means he doesn't care about your feelings . Keep it moving.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Krissy! 💕

[@dibyatenrilangi8233]

true

[@hellbentholland1008]

We are all too old for games if someone says leave me alone I'm going to especially when it was a whole blown out of proportion shi* show mind game anyhow. It ain't that I didn't/dont love her but I'm sick of being under a magnifying glass blamed as trash when I wouldn't be had I not given all I've got with almost nothing to those that I had a different idea about. I get taking time to see but expecting a dude to do what was said not to and then call him weak for caving in or uncaring for not? Impossible to win... so it's Important to not shoulder ALL the blame when others live for nothing but the bad parts of stuff and to keep the pot stirred when it should be poured out.

[@davidjames8403]

Girls! I tried this. Srarches these video titles, "why she goes silent" as if you were a man. They're are all saying the same thing.

[@SR77736]

Exactly. It's too much worth doing this. Silent treatment or ghosting is a turn off. I'm out

[@peculiarunicorn]

If a man goes silent...enjoy it. He's showing he's a boy or player. Move on!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Lindsay! 💕

[@UnwelcomedMan]

Or maybe he’s just fed up with your shit

[@brunamagrini9014]

Yes ! Grow up guys. Who has time for immature head games ! I have better things to do with my life

[@tiffanybrooks7987]

Lol

[@tiffanybrooks7987]

Agreed!!!

[@peterpatton8736]

A friend told me if someone ignores you it is God doing you a favor, taking him out of your life.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing!

[@itsBenzie]

I closed the KZbin app after reading this comment. It was all I needed to see. Thanks for this! So simple, so powerful and so FINAL. 💕God

[@amab1853]

Absolutely 💯

[@astoutoure8701]

It is so true!!!!! Believe me

[@cassandrafleming7123]

no I don't agree with that because you could be in love and you could be in a committed relationship like engaged and y'all eventually get married at 3 or 4 years later and you're in the same house together you got a four bedroom house three bath do you really really think you're always going to be in the same room up under each other 24/7 no if you have that mindset you are really not you shouldn't be you should never get into a committed relationship that's that's to me that's childish and immature to think that way and our kids you not if you got a fiance a man and y'all spending some time together and you can't never take your butt in another room and read a book the little girl y'all just had sit with her read a book do something on your own you got to always be in the room with that man he's got to always be in your circle for you to feel secure it's something wrong with you it ain't the man

[@tralala827727]

If a guy ignores you, ignore him. Not in order to get him interested in you again, but because he´s not the right one for you. No guy who really loves you will ignore you. You may trigger his hunting instinct by ignoring him, but trust me it still won´t work down the road. Save yourself time and tears and move on. You´re valuable, you matter. Find yourself a guy who will never doubt that.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! We talked about that in my latest livestream: kzbin.infoD6ewIKTZJ8U?si=HlyJTr3tW665wsTA

[@simplymarilyn5295]

Don't be afraid to lose anyone. Be yourself.... because the right ones won't leave!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! 💞

[@orth82]

Beautifully said!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

I stick to this!

[@LizaS191]

❤

[@psicolinamx]

Silence is so beautiful. It communicates : “you are free to go, girl”

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💕

[@Momof3minions7791]

A friend told me, "treat them how they treat you." I'm not in a relationship, but I have a male friend (30years) he does the silent thing on me, I chased just wanting to know what I had done. Didn't answer the phone, didn't respond back to my messages. I stopped wasting my time, and you better believe that now he's doing all the texting, I don't respond until I get ready. I don't ask questions, I don't argue period. I will never waste my time chasing anyone, not even a friend.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

[@karlar8648]

I chased my friend out of my life twice. I don't play that game. Be WORTH the chase.

[@danirob6920]

I follow the three day rule. If i haven’t heard from him then i am single. Men use the silent treatment as a way to control you, and i am NOT the one smh

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Dani! 💜

[@latashalewis873]

❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@bntn2238]

Lol. Watch mens videos. Both are saying the same thing.

[@aaronspinelli1301]

@@bntn2238exactly!!! It’s almost as if these videos are intentionally causing “Everyone” to follow the same advice instead of being natural.

[@robynpeace9850]

Yes after many times, silent treatment is emotional abuse. Run away from that

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely, if this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs

[@janine1111]

Yes totally agree

[@tanjaj-richter3307]

Silent treatment = narcissism

[@robynpeace9850]

@@tanjaj-richter3307 my dad my mom my ex husband and my ex boyfriend and then I finally learned that this was abusive emotionally

[@lynolee6116]

@@tanjaj-richter3307 So true

[@justaconversation3729]

If he is above chasing you... he's actually beneath you and beneath your time or interest or notice. End of story.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💜

[@Shaunteetalkstv]

Yup lol

[@EcoworksFL]

Boom!!!!

[@tahneemickelson4222]

I like this.

[@bellam7546]

So you would expect an introvert to chase you?

[@michelledambra]

I mirror others' behavior and the funny thing is they don't like how I'm treating them when I do. My husband ignored me for the last time because I responded by ignoring him and planning my departure that week. Ladies, all these red flags become worse the longer you stay. I would rather be alone with my fur babies than deal with a man-boy.

[@hsjsnsnsnsna9133]

My situation exactly right now. Got my cats, I'm goooood 😅

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here. I agree that red flags tend to get worse over time, so it’s important to recognize them as soon as possible. 💜

[@kylieprice9268]

🎯 life is sweet with my 4 fur babies. I dont need to prove myself to anyone! This all sounds exhausting😩

[@lm5608]

Very valuable comment. That the red flags become worser over time :-(

[@xoxobutterfly]

Same I was happier when I was single honestly and I didn't feel so insecure

[@jill5188]

If I was dating a guy in the early stages and he pulls away, I am out. That is a hell no for me. If we are in a committed relationship and he pulls away, I would have a conversation and depending on the situation, I would start losing interest and eventually move on. This type of energy is such a turn off now. The man I am with invests in me and I invest in him. We are partners, period. Relationships take effort, consistency, and trust on both sides because triggers and past wounds will come up.

[@user-ee2qq4hp3z]

My sentiments exactly. Took the words right out of my mouth.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I love what you said here and I completely agree - thanks for sharing! 💞

[@missfefeloves]

🎯🎯🎯✅✅✅💯👏🏼

[@missfefeloves]

Me too it's a huge turn off these men should get their attitude straight.

[@cristalebellab444]

I wish men could find relationship clarity as quick as we do. I hate to say it , but you are right. We all have past wounds & triggers and if they are emotionally avoidant then it’s sooo much work and pain. 😩

[@angeliqueesprit8674]

He go silent I go silent… good written I have no time for immature males who fails to communicate. He’s emotionally unavailable.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, I’m happy to hear that! 💜

[@akuasalaam490]

Exactly.

[@missc2091]

👏👏👏

[@nandlabh6349]

True

[@charlottehanna790]

Thank you, Angleique!

[@Gettingitreal]

The most seemingly warm and empathetic men who move emotionally fast with you are the ones that leave fastest and go silent in my experience.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! This video might be helpful for telling the difference between love bombing and a man who’s truly falling for you: kzbin.infok8VC2kt7pZE?si=pcxEFzwtsZXYer57

[@dlm2133]

Pulling away...I end up losing interest. Once I lose it, I can't get it back. Never is the same.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Deb! 💜

[@vickymoshi6038]

Just like me..

[@ritafrahm4318]

Me, too. It's sad when the connection was so real and good. And then it's gone. No turning back

[@Verbalsilk]

That's me all the way.

[@glitzyglam7827]

Exactly. Me too

[@sunshine9717]

Silence is an answer! You have 24 hours in a day. Anything can happen to you. If he's ignoring you, like a piece a paper on the street. Put on your skates ⛸️ and skate away. 🤗

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM

[@nadulamb4141]

😂

[@sunshine9717]

@HelenaHartCoaching I've been there, with a husband who ignored me. I made a choice not to give a damn and live my life. Yippee for me. My love life is me loving me. If you don't love yourself. You end up with a fool. So choose! Self-love first and foremost. 💯

[@MsPerfume25]

😢😢😢😢😢😢its terribly hard but a reality this hardto digest

[@sunshine9717]

@MsPerfume25 It is hard when you love someone. Sometimes we are conditioned mentally to accept bad behavior. We get stuck and used to the foolishness. It's not easy to break away. But baby steps are the key. Step by 🚶‍♀️by step 🚶‍♀️ and you'll get stronger, wiser and free yourself. You must surround yourself with women who are strong and find your voice. Join a church group or a women's support group. You can choose to stay or slowly gain your mental strength back and move on with your life. 🥰 God did not put you on this earth to be mistreated or abused. Fight the good fight, for you. 💯⚘️

[@KG-ri9xh]

The silent treatment is a sign of weakness. Rejection is my protection from a future that wasn’t the best for me

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💞 I talked more about that in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qXm1ZJeAbbacgqM

[@johnbockmann5739]

Or disinterest.

[@KG-ri9xh]

@@johnbockmann5739 than there should be a conversation

[@bannyadeka1180]

​@@johnbockmann5739😅then speak it up.. just like you(the pertner) did while approaching. Giving a person hope then keep them guessing 😅.. nope!! not a responsible/matured one.

[@lemonspica]

Listen, if he was involved at first, then disappears when he knows you fell in love with him, turn that love back around to yourself and let him go to hell. No man like that is worth the time of a great woman.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, if he knows you’re in love with him and this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mneZyFf6Z_oMU.

[@tawanalefeged8916]

BEST COMMENT EVER!!! Unfortunately going thru this currently. Your comment struck me different, thanks! Today forward, he can go to HELL!

[@jerusalem7050]

This is so true the minute they know you are interested the pull back. So weird 😂

[@belle8i]

Simple answer: Do you. Quit making a man your whole world. Find your passion or do things that make you happy that don't require your love interest to be with you. Be the star in your own life. Would you want your tombstone to read “here lies Joe’s girlfriend,” no, you wouldn't, so quit being a needy loser that doesn't have dreams and goals of her own? Stop waiting for someone to make you happy and make yourself happy.

[@87jackys]

Best advice ever 🤣

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here!

[@batgirlp5561]

Can you put this on a tshirt lol!

[@von-marieoliva4827]

THIS gave me the push

[@adaofcharles1217]

💯

[@Relaxinwealth]

I close the gap in communication by closing the door … I’m not waiting 15 days, especially because he is aware of what he is doing . I don’t like to keep unnecessary people on my energy… anyone who is ok with purposely neglecting me does not deserve my presence

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing! Yes, if someone is purposely neglecting you I would move on. 💜

[@nascentnaomie]

🎯

[@M.M-t6u]

So beautifully said ❤

[@tappingintuit5977]

Thank you for your sincere simplicity! This is helpful 1. Mirror his behavior 2. Invest in yourself 3. Show that you have a great life, professionally& personally . Express it! 3. Be flirtatious..it's a game-- do it just for your personal development

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! I’m glad it was helpful. 💜

[@tammybradshaw7175]

Love this!❤️

[@funnygirlever]

Amen 💯

[@bushramansoor1576]

How to be flirtatious

[@CCrockergirl]

Wouldn’t flirting with him just cause you to like him more 🫤

[@rotsteineva]

Those kind of men, don't deserve the effort! Just look for someone better, more authentic and more loving. 🤗❤

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Eva - I agree! I talked more about that in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM

[@kelstar994]

If he becomes " distant " , then he'll for sure get his wish! Not staying around where I'm not wanted!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💜

[@bluebirdie7241]

GET RID OF HIM!!! ASAP!!! NO MAN WHO TRULY LOVES A WOMAN WILL PLAY GAMES WITH HER, BECAUSE HE RISKS LOSING HER!!! IF HE DOESN'T MIND LOSING YOU, HE IS WORTH LOSING!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💙

[@aaliyah6402]

You’re so correct!

[@AudioRevelation144Hz]

Slam the door, bolt it and vacate the building Queens 👑🚪💯

[@angeliqueesprit8674]

Periodt.🤣🙌🏽

[@joycereed6297]

Lol !!!

[@goodvibes7424]

🤣😆😂🙈😝

[@prittyugly86]

What if your married tho? And doing individual and solo therapy 🤣🤣🤣

[@AuxarionClare]

😂🤣😂🤣😂😂 It works like a charm, they always want what they can no longer have.

[@amy44499]

It reminds me of a child putting a toy down and coming back later expecting it to be there. Smh. Another will pick it up. Especially if it's a good one!

[@yass1245]

absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Amy! 💕

[@mtngrl5859]

For a Narcissist this is called putting you on the shelf. These are habits of a narcissist. Then why they come around again, it is called Hoovering. The best thing is NO CONTACT AT ALL EVER AGAIN

[@mmommo10]

EXACTLY...its a no brainer.

[@psycherevivedby]

oooo i like this

[@gemigem2411]

Women need to have self love and respect for themselves. No woman should be putting up with this kind of BS. LOVE yourselves women, you can do this!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here!

[@sweetluvgurl]

@Gemi Gem Yeah, I feel like more women need to be building each other up instead of tearing each other down.

[@Auburnred67]

Self- love and respect is a MUST for both men and women

[@kelkabot]

Right now I'm crazy about this guy who just makes me weak in the knees, and he seems so special that I'll never find another like him. But! He runs hot and cold and I have finally got it through my head that there's going to be someone else out there who will be even more special. Getting hooked on the idea that there's only one soulmate, twin flame, whatever...that is a poisonous lie that will keep you stuck.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! Yes, I talk more about that in these videos: kzbin.info7FBAsHoLSOA?feature=share, kzbin.infozKEos5BY2nA?feature=share and kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6DFoJKni6p8ftU.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

🙏🏽💯🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@traumamom4338]

Wow I'm in the middle of it now ugh

[@Irispia97]

💯 single until marriage

[@netanyarut]

Just happened to me today :’)

[@carolinemurray7648]

A guy unable to communicate properly ain’t worth my time!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I agree - thanks for sharing, Caroline! 💛

[@brendyshay]

Me too... communication is key to me.

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

I don't wait around when men go out of communication with me. I don't have time for games, I know my value, I'm not interested in someone that doesn't put in the work for me, and if you're indecisive, I'll be gone by the time you come back around. I can find a man that knows what he wants and shows it. I have no time to teach grown men how to behave properly.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💙

[@heatherjertram5641]

Exactly

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

@@HelenaHartCoaching What would be really interesting is to see on your channel an exploration into attachment theory and how it intersects with a lot of these topics. Mainly these types of behaviors are frequently found in insecure attachment, especially Dismissive or Fearful Avoidant types. Going silent is generally a red flag unless you want to put in a LOT of work and do a LOT of self-abandonment and repressing your own emotional needs just to have this guy in your life.

[@carrie5471]

Amen to that…

[@jeshmagujar1674]

True

[@sureyabell2082]

THIS IS IT LADIES! LISTEN TO HIM! This is why they say work on yourself! GO out there and find things you like and are passionate about. Get out there and be engaged with the world. Find something that makes you more happy then seeing him! By the time he will come back around you will feel you are not even the same person talking to him. I wanted this guy so bad and i did just that! By the time he came back i responded like he was just an old friend. They totally feel your change because they know what they did and they will hold back knowing you wanted them and they left you they are afraid you will be cold. (if you are cold 1* it shows them you are still mad and hold emotions for him, 2* he still matters 3* he will leave you alone since you are cold and he is not man enough, doesn't value you enough to take things in his hand since you are the same person he left) If you respond with the the happy friendly energy of an old acquaintance it will show them that you moved on and have other things to be happy about. Remember, a happy person is self absorbed, they don't care. They are happy and content with their life! They want to spread the happiness! Btw i did not want him back and ended the conversation in a friendly manner, i did get some missed calls few days later for consecutive days. SO Yes ladies success is the best revenge!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and insights here, Sureya! 💖

[@sureyabell2082]

@@HelenaHartCoaching Thank you for helping us, you have been helping woman since years! Thanks for replying! :)

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! ❤️

[@chinancyk7780]

Ezi-Okwu ka I na Ekwu.

[@nikkinorman4254]

Facts on top of facts sista 🍒

[@KleeKaiPuppies]

I wouldn’t put any effort into anyone who treats me like that. Huge red flag. Take good care of yourself and be safe out there. Emotional abuse is real and it’s painful.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing! 💙

[@KleeKaiPuppies]

@@HelenaHartCoaching ❤️❤️❤️

[@jlady1595]

So why are you watching this podcast?

[@noroxxx2349]

His silence has given me peace, no more walking on eggshells or having an additional baby. So i have been mirroring him for sure🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ssoeeunsbeau5084]

True mirroring what hes doin …..

[@noroxxx2349]

@@ssoeeunsbeau5084 he actually called me today, we spoke for two hours, he has been hurting asking why ive been ignoring him🤣🤣

[@nsomething3615]

That's good babe. I'm also doing the same. Before he was making me anxious but I'm over it

[@noroxxx2349]

@@nsomething3615 his back now, wants me more as I starve him of my energy x

[@nsomething3615]

@@noroxxx2349 I'm happy for you. I don't think I'll have the same energy as before if he comes back. It's the 2nd time he's doing this

[@cindi947]

People who turn distant and ghost after sex is especially the worst. If it was clearly communicated and obvious that it was just a casual hookup from the start, that’s fine to be honest. But if you had good connection, chemistry, genuine laughs and spending the night etc, and then you pull the slow fade and disappear like you just died or something, the line gets blurred and feelings will get hurt. I can definitely mirror that behavior and play it cool, but of course it hurts.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely, I would definitely drop any man who does that and move on. These videos might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/iamXpad7gLp_has.

[@msalexxa2012]

There’s an easy way to protect yourself from that though. We are partly at fault in what happens to us.

[@zee_lolaj7382]

@@msalexxa2012 Not in All cases. There are those left at the altar on their wedding day. There are people out here that make you feel that you are the Only one in the World for them. There is No way to avoid certain things in life. It's how you Handle things when they are thrown at you....

[@beautifulsoul8365]

True. Some people are just con artists and manipulators. Say and do anything to get what they want. It's pretty sad, but it is the truth. Hurt people hurt people. Not everyone has good intentions for you.

[@MsSmashone]

@@msalexxa2012 no it’s just that they are liars and snakes.

[@eshjane]

When he calls let the phone ring, smile, and let it go to voicemail. Don’t answer his texts messages and then BLOCK that loser!!!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Jane! 💜

[@inushka3529]

Bravo

[@aaliyah6402]

Bingo!. I’m trying so hard to get rid of him but he still has some of my stuff otherwise he’d be gone

[@OparahBenedict]

Lol

[@kelkabot]

Ah, wish I'd known all this when I was younger! Some of the best advice I ever got: don't make excuses for him. It's easy, for example, to make excuses for his distance because he's getting over a divorce, a job loss, death of a parent, an addiction or illness, whatever. Don't. Do. It. A man who wants to be with you and is ready for that is going to give you so little doubt of his feelings that you never get on the crazy train endlessly checking your phone, etc. He'll BE THERE.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely, thanks for sharing! My husband and I actually talked about that in these videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lXWWaHSGfLSsbrs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZfMhYijlKl2d9k.

[@MEAMELT]

Saving this for a future reminder! Thanks ❤️

[@AbrahamsWisdom]

I once heard somewhere that men love women who they feel are slightly better than them. Basically know your worth and realize that he is the lucky one to be in your presence.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💞

[@jlh82]

We accept the love we think we deserve.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, thanks for sharing! 💞

[@jerusalem7050]

Exactly

[@madhuridas4745]

Ouch; that hurts ! 😅

[@shellshelly5552]

Or any “Love” that we deeply desire.

[@Spacecow17]

Wish I watched this in my 20's would have saved me time and heartbreak

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, I hear that ALL the time and can definitely relate! These videos should also be helpful for future reference: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs.

[@Spacecow17]

@@HelenaHartCoaching thank you

[@tinamarie8061]

Same same same

[@BeatriceARiera]

When the bond is broken 💔 you actually feel it! No one is entitled to make you wait, or simply kidnap your time that's selfish and it shows lack of sympathy and respect! Life is too short, move on!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mneZyFf6Z_oMU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU.

[@Mary-AshleighWilliams]

exactly life is to precious, if he can't respect you with consistency communication then he is wasting your time. when he wastes your time he never respected you in the first place

[@AudioRevelation144Hz]

I expect authenticy, emotion and daily devotion or get gone. I don't play that way.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m happy to hear that! 💞

[@rubyshoes1032]

Ladies, don't settle for any thing less than what your worth, use no contact to work on yourself ignore them, and please realise. You don't want someone who comes and goes, you deserve someone who never leaves your side. (30 days min no contract ladies. Be strong, and if you have issues with doing this, ask yourself do you have a co-dependacy issue, maybe low self esteem, toxic past relationships so you have an attachment issue, everyone is different.) please make yourself the star of your movie, not them. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, I love you and I know you've got this ❤️🙏🏻

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💜 This video should be helpful for anyone who’s in “no contact” right now: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e3fNgHqajMSWbJI

[@patriciamartin6756]

Ruby. Don't you get it? Men, by nature are programmed to have sex with as many women as possible. About 10% are good men. The rest of them aren't even bad , that' just how they are. My LTR is as nice as can be I couldn't ask for a better person but from the first, he told me he was a swinger; we live together and for 17 months,he has not cheated but he reminds me that he was a swinger and asked if I would have sex with another woman (no way!) or a man (No way) I told him to go do what he wanted but to leave me out of it and made him promise to get a test for STD if he had sex with another person. He honestly is genuinely surprised that I don't want to have sex with a stranger. The thought of it makes me want to throw up. Woman are looking for a guy that on ly wants one woman. It ain't happening

[@ronip21]

30 days? I can't.

[@prairie_dog_5443]

If somebody ignores me or ghosts me, I don’t have 30 day rule. I have 1-2 days rule and then his contact is blocked and deleted. Life is too short to give the ignorant people second chances. If they don’t appreciate you from the beginning, it’s only gonna get worse.

[@TheKaarnageShow]

made man worth anything can be by your side all the time. this makes no sence

[@jokergirl4351]

I love men that gives advice to women about men 😁🧡

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex if anyone would like to check them out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKu4mKmpgaapg68, kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHfRY5yfic94rpI and kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqfNmKqimM-Caac.

[@averagejane09]

The worst is when a guy works to get you to like him and when you finally do, THEN he pulls away. Ugh. I hate that. Makes me feel played and I probably was. This advice is solid though. If he pulls away after all of that, it isn't a good sign. There are better options out there.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, there definitely are better options out there! 💜

[@businesssueanne]

Why do they make you like them then pull away? Is that a big wast of their time as well? I don't get this....

[@laylaalkhouri4955]

@@businesssueanne this is usually the behavior of narcissists.. while they may come across confident they actually have extremely low self esteem. So they use people to fuel their ego and once they feel fueled up they toss you out like trash. Narcissists unfortunately lack empathy and many women fall victim to men like this. If a man puts you on a pedestal without really knowing you? There’s your first huge red flag.

[@nenar.902]

@Layla, exactly, this is a red flag that you are dealing with a narcissist. They need constant supply (and gratification) so and given that the best supply is from strangers/new people they are also (serial) cheaters. My advice: don‘t fall for their words and how they present themselves. Focus rather on their actions, behaviour and the red flags. Good luck to us all! 💚

[@dharashah4746]

Yes I am recently experiencing something like that it's really destructive

[@vhayashi7369]

It's funny because I already figured all this out and have been doing this and I stay in control of my emotions and he can't jerk me around by being silent. I didn't get mad and just sent him funny stuff and treat him like a best friend. And I stay detached. I only invest in those who invest in me. This way your heart stays protected! Act Unbothered no matter how long he stays quiet. Set a timeline then move on.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜

[@mymysticalwisdom3309]

How do you avoid them thinking they are explicitly in the friend-zone? Too many games = confusing and exhausting

[@Melisit83]

#unbothered 😆

[@lynolee6116]

Spot on.

[@chatwat7832]

👏🏽👍🏽

[@brookelight2090]

Why guys think by ignoring women will keep the option alive? It doesn’t make any sense. If a guy has not checked back in with me for 2-3 months, we are done! If a guy check back in with me every 2-3 weeks for more than 2 times, we are done.

[@maricelg777]

Exactly

[@Vesta588]

Gosh, I think no contact for a week is a no for me. That is breadcrumbs

[@lyndapeoples8127]

@@Vesta588 ...lol

[@elainechatham5188]

Great information. Thank u both. U r both exceptional.

[@maricelg777]

@@Vesta588 exactly

[@twade39]

I went through this for 9 months! He ghosted me 5 times in the 9 m. He would usually stay gone about a month to 6 weeks then come back. I would call him out on his bad behavior and then he went silent. I gave him many chances to tell me he wasnt really into me and if so, just let me know… he never would… but this last i said no more! Game over!! Men like this are toxic!!! Stay away from them!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, in the future I would move on at the first sign of any behavior like that - I wouldn’t keep giving him chances. These videos might be helpful for anyone dealing with a man like this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/iamXpad7gLp_has.

[@denisealley9822]

separated from him, talking for 9 months, Going to therapy, making sure I wasn't being impulsive, as well. He was still drinking, couldn't handle anything, would walk out, so I did, with a usual. It was his 2nd and his LAST chance. He stated he wanted to get help, as he has, but the right kind then heal, using my Trauma Specialist who I do hypnosis with and

[@msalexxa2012]

You gave him many chances to tell you he was not into you and he did, with his actions.

[@mistyblue2917]

What sign was he, sis?

[@nipornpiyapanichyakul956]

ร

[@sharilyon5983]

This very same type of man who loves to play hot and cold told me he wants women to chase him. I told him I never chase men and to quit bothering me.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Shari! 💜

[@kaoshi_kutie]

He sounds like a feminine man!

[@cynthiac735]

Hadn't communicated with him for almost 7 months and he came back with a new year's wish two weeks after Jan. 1; I replied amicably and knew it was a test. Three days later, I received another message..."Good morning". I replied around 10 pm...."Have a good night" - lol. He replied, "Good night and rest well". Haven't heard from him since, because he saw that the door was closed. He'll try again, but I'm in control of my life.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, Cynthia. 💕

[@Laura-ux8vt]

I love how you did this!!!!!

[@ericabelcher8760]

Oh God, the textbook, "holiday wish text"! Sooo typical! They'll wait til around Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years, knowing that you're either in a warm, cheerful, reflecting or vulnerable mood due to the time of year. As soon as you reply, they want to "check your temp", to see where you stand & if they still have an opening! Smdh 🤦‍♀️

[@achiengdeji]

@@ericabelcher8760 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ericabelcher8760]

@@achiengdeji Hey! Ijs lol💀💀

[@miguelalvarado2673]

Ghosting is not acceptable. Time to go so, GET OUT AND STAY OUT! I love you, Alex, your video advice is great!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree!

[@lc4972]

I know who u listen to. Lol. HG Tudor. And he is really good.

[@paula3406]

Thank you 😊💗😇 God bless 🙏🌷🌺🙂😁 you

[@farfetched9296]

When someone goes silent move on to the next. No one has time for power plays nor games. Too many ppl passing you daily to be bothered by one jackass. He's right on mirroring to someone what they're doing to you. Do ask questions how do you know if the person is worth your time. I want a man to run if he's not right for me. Save me the drama, energy, and headache

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! 💜

[@Jenniferhkuhn]

I put his text alerts on hidden, this way when he does reach out (ladies they always come back!) it gives me time to respond and not feel like I’m waiting to hear from him and then reply right away. Helps me stay in peace :)

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, Jen! 💕

[@capricornangel7957]

Do they always come back? My guy I was dating just vanished into thin air nearly 2 weeks ago, left my message on read and never got back to me. I didn't chase, we used to talk daily and now this has happened 🤷‍♀️☹️

[@TheKaarnageShow]

cos we come back, we get horrny and your there

[@TheKaarnageShow]

funny how after 20 min and we bus a nut and we distant again loool

[@cheetahcat3940]

That absolutely works. That way I don't know when he does call or text. It might be 4/5 hours before I notice. That way I don't have to fight myself to not text back right away.

[@sp26890]

A guy recently I spoke with started off really well showing a lot of attention etc.. Suddenly he realised he's not getting what he wanted when he wanted and felt the need to pull back.. I gave him one chance to give him the benefit of doubt but with no response I closed the door on him and dispensed him from my life. No time for mind games they need to grow a pair!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, Sophia - I’m glad you were able to move on! 💕

[@dh3815]

sounds like someone needs to learn how to communicate. There’s no reason to sit back and wait for days on end, be distant, and wait for him to either come around or not. That we should not expect the man to be accountable, that we should just lay back for days on end until he decides, whether he wants to close to you again or not. it’s so much easier to just say what’s on your mind. this is oppressive to Women, and a pain in the ass! I completely disagree with this way of doing things.

[@lifeoutsidecomfortzone]

I love the word ‘dispensed.’ ‘I dispensed him from my life’ 😄👌🏼 BRILLIANT!

[@AudioRevelation144Hz]

If he's not begging, I am not buying 😂🤣

[@TC-dt8fl]

Dating is difficult when you’ve been in a long term relationship. Everything is different now, and I need to learn the new rules without it being through getting hurt. Please do more of these for women 35+!

[@TC-dt8fl]

I was ghosted for the first time, and it is so manipulative! Thank you for making videos on how it should be handled. More, please!

[@itsmayayt]

Dating also is difficult when you are single all your life :(. It's easier making friends lols

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, TC! I’ll keep that in mind for future video topics, thanks for the great suggestion! In the meantime, these ones might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXzGp52Fn9iia6s and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqe6dIebj6mmjpo.

[@charlottetheartist327]

Right! Best wishes. Just be you.

[@crackers1039]

@@TC-dt8fl amen

[@shuzennn]

Helena, you are actually right. Dump the person. Bc if you start manipulating yourself in order to win this toxic waiting game, then the relationship will be toxic. Too much stress for nothing.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM

[@FrenchRelationshipExpert]

THANK YOU for having me! It was so much fun to help your community :-)

[@stuartsturgess2199]

I have a friend that has a connection with her boss however he's never aked her for a drink or meal but just to clarify this video is about people that are dating or have been at very least flirting in such a way as to be understood clearly a relationship is possible

[@artandscience1]

Bonjour Alex, i'm enjoying your videos. But i see that one important fact is never being mentioned: a man's silence is *triggering our fear of abandonment*! We don't just text him to not loose the connection with HIM... There's a much greater fear subconsciously, that leads us to being irrational, to freeze, to feel and act desperate, etc. It's a very primal fear. Plus, it triggers our need for safety, which is a primal need too but a womens #1 instinct. Merci!

[@linda__4587]

@@stuartsturgess2199 We have been out for 6 dates. His daughter came out for his birthday from Canada and he asked me to meet her. I thought it a good idea to do that now because she would not be coming out again for a while.

[@stuartsturgess2199]

@@linda__4587 I don't know much but I see no reason not to go with it and see what happen's I think as long as you are being genuine with them it has a good chance of working out

[@missfefeloves]

Mr Alex I would like to ask what inspires men to act hot and cold? Why exactly do they do these things?

[@laurasebastian2822]

Friend friend friend. Alex is so right. The minute I started treating guys like friends even if I REALLY wanted more. It relieved the pressure on both the man, but more importantly, me. I was in control, and not constantly wondering and trying to figure anything out. I let them come to me. The last guy I did that with is the man I've been with for nearly 9 years, and he wants to get married❤❤.Thanks, Alex and Helen. Such helpful information 🙂

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

[@alhassanfirrdous7292]

Excellent, comment

[@teresam3350]

How did you transition to more than friends? How did he know you were interested if you treat him like a friend? Are you flirtatious? Do you just mean don’t put pressure on it by being attached?

[@juliet.2472]

We should stop lowering our standards and being a certain way to attract a distant person. If the person is distant, then he or she is not responding and ensuring a secure and healthy relationship. I have listened to so many of these videos and believed I could manipulate into getting their attention.. it worked for a short time and they went back to their old patterns. I now know I deserve to be loved and have a balanced equal share of attention and affection. 🙏🏻

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Julie! I agree that if a man is consistently distant it’s best to let him go and move on. I talk more about that in these videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM and kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZXdl5mGdsR8d6s.

[@changminkeybum]

My goodness this kind of men are so toxic!! I pray we have the strength to release ourselves from their manipulation. Bless 🥰

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Aizan! This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on from a man:kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs

[@orth82]

Very good tips. The shift happens when you stop trying to make others like you and begin to focus on whether or not you like them.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you! 💕

[@angiesmith9293]

This is timely! I am dealing with this right now. He broke up with me on Tuesday saying he was scared. He had been going way too fast. Now he is silent and barely communicating. I’m going to lean back go out with some other guys to coffee. I’m test driving motorcycles and cars! Riding my bike and working out. Auditioning for a band etc. I’m hurting but I know it will be ok. This is not my ideal relationship right now but I do care about him a lot. Thank you both so much!! You both have saved my dating life. I’m 54 and didn’t know how to date, understand what to do when men act certain ways etc. As you know, it is a fun, painful and challenging process. But, I know he’s out there. I can feel my husband looking for me. Blessings and hugs!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience here, Angie! 💗 My last two livestreams should also be helpful for your situation: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM and kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZXdl5mGdsR8d6s.

[@specialk8927]

It usually means he’s seeing someone else but karma would come for him and he will be back after he gets dumped but I wouldn’t go back continue to move forward!

[@liadagraca7604]

🙌🏻👏🏻✨🌟🍀🍀🍀🌷

[@franziskani]

If a man is "scared" - it usually means he is not relationship material. Or it is a convenient excuse to sideline you. While he explores other options. The "I like you, but we move too fast and that scares me" ruse usually means he would like to string you along as plan B.

[@junebuggy8624]

Make your own plans all week, with family, friends, alone and your pet. If you hear from him, don't cancel your plans, make him ask and make him wait until you've completed your other plans or errands.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, June! 💕

[@KatalinaKristina]

I just act like them and they hate it. I return what they do to me and they hate it. I text and disappear as well and come back every 10 to 15 days and I test them just to see if I still have control over them too. It's hilarious cuz it takes them far longer to realize what's happening and when they do they get pissy 🤣 like buddy relax? You started this shindig. And while I'm playing with you I'm also entertaining other guys so I have choices just incase someone fails. *Never wait, ladies!!!* Collect men and only give investment once the man has vocally said and has shown in real life that they do want you!! Good luck! 💙💜🧡💛

[@mmommo10]

winning!!!!

[@carpediem2487]

Give them a taste of their medicine 💯.

[@KatalinaKristina]

@@sargeklein Did you even read???? I get EVERYTHING and I have fun. The only loser is the asshole who started it all and can't handle it when their own shit is being done to them back 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@CarolynArmstrong-x2y]

Unfortunately seems like a lot of game playing. I'm currently in this kind of situation too. Have done this behavior too...texting...see if he'll respond...he comes back immediately, but leaves me feeling like a manipulator and somehow empty. I have just decided to cut off the poor connection (the healthier choice) and wait for someone better to come along! Hope they do!

[@KatalinaKristina]

@@CarolynArmstrong-x2y I don't view it as game playing I call it karma. Seems like they don't experience a lot of life lessons so I'm here to educate them. They wanna act stupid? They get the consequences of being stupid. Easy 🤣🤣

[@rebeccajones8628]

Even the presidents of nations have time to text their special someone. Excellent advice Alex! Make him see you are GREAT ! Take your time to respond ! Treat him like your best friend... He is an 'experiment'. Flirt and let him see what he is losing.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad you enjoyed this, Rebecca! Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKu4mKmpgaapg68, kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHfRY5yfic94rpI and kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqfNmKqimM-Caac.

[@jerusalem7050]

Exactly

[@myowngalnow777]

I’m in my 60s and just beginning the dating scene. It’s so hard at this age, many of the men are recently widowed and have a lot of confusion in their hearts about moving forward. I have already experienced this pulling back several times. Your advice is perfect and I am following it-living my best life for me! It works. Helena, Alex, thank you for sharing this information. Even we older ladies can learn so much more about men and relationships!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Sally! Here are a few more videos I recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKu4mKmpgaapg68, kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHfRY5yfic94rpI and kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqfNmKqimM-Caac.

[@dianegonzalez4748]

Thatsso true and a lot of baggage and adult children

[@CradleEpiscopalian56]

I'm 66, off & on with same man. He chose a group vacation weekend over me by no contact while gone. It's childish and selfish so let him wiggly until Thursday. He needs the same lesson he dishes out.

[@beckyforcier3515]

I am 57 I met someone who really didn't feel the same about me. He has been gone 3 months now. I lived with him for 9 months he said in beginning he wasn't my guy. I really like him and thought more than anything he was my friend. Anyway I was hoping I miss having coffee with him I was comfortable with him.

[@sacred_alchemy]

You go girl!!! ❤

[@sarinaj72]

I usually hate playing games, but this advice is great and always work when the man is distant. Mirroring his behaviour is the best solution 😁 you’re right these type of men usually need to be always in control. Thank you ❤️

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Sarinah! 💕

[@Bella-fl5ok]

Im at this stage right now. Im tired of it though

[@sarinaj72]

@@Bella-fl5ok yup, I’m too old to play dating games and usually take a long break. It’s always the same cycle just different men.

[@richardssnz52023]

@@sarinaj72 .

[@sarinaj72]

@@richardssnz52023 yes?

[@karolinah12]

They go distant but don't like it when you meet someone better in the time gap they leave for you 😂. People do not stay where you leave them, especially when they are high value and have been fair. If you need to do too many mind games, they are not the one

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! 💕

[@emiconduit2]

It sounds like that type of behavior is the avoidant type, very difficult to cope with... Move on and find someone secure that gives you certainty. Not hot & cold, that's not healthy.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Teresa - I agree! 💜

[@sunshineonmyshouldersmakes8331]

Yes! I agree

[@sumairahossain03]

U r so accurate....men go silent n distant so that they can come around with excuses when they want to.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, I talked more about that type of man in these videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM, kzbin.info/www/bejne/h3jOc5xmos-meaM and kzbin.info/www/bejne/sHyooKZrd75lpKM.

[@maskedgamer7565]

Right... I woman goes cold out of nowhere just to test you. She will get friendly with other guys to test your confidence. She will insult you to see if you don't overreact. But oh boy, if a guy goes silence for a few days, it's a disaster. What about this. A guy goes distant to think if this woman is actually someone he wants to invest more time in? Or maybe he goes distant because he thinks the woman doesn't put enough effort into the relationship... So don't blame guys for going distant because women test guys on so many levels, not to mention all the high standards he has to meet before a woman even considers talking to him.

[@reikomyles1495]

Good information to know. To be honest, I don't have the patience, tolerance, or time for playing games. Either you like me or you don't period.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💜

[@Mindful.Movement.01]

I love this. I’m the exact same way

[@InternetGirl1093]

Thank you for making this video, I have been feeling so heartbroken and devastated after seeing a man for 2 months who does this “pulling away” behavior. I made the mistake in the past of reaching out or trying to “check him” instead of just mirroring his energy and I regret it. I’m done giving chances. I last texted him (responding to his message) on Wednesday and it’s Sunday now and I’ve heard nothing from him. I’m over it. It’s painful, but I am not going to be treated like a last priority.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience here - these videos should also be helpful for future reference so you don’t get invested in a man like this ever again: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6DFoJKni6p8ftU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZukg6uho8hkbJI and kzbin.info/www/bejne/rmncfJSNg8mkbck.

[@nikkinorman4254]

You are such a sweet person, sometimes they get envious. Watch out girl, you saw this video for a reason. Focus on you bby.

[@hayl8569]

u were in the same sitiuation as I am rn and ima use this method asap

[@lmiller1413]

You deserve better. Flush the toilet. Move on. Lock the door and don't let him back in. He sounds like he will be painful to be with. You deserve a man who is willing to fight dragons for you, climb mountains for you, and value you.

[@jessyjohn4326]

Ur videos r wonderful they motives Alex u r a wonderful person.

[@czeketa6140]

Check your level of anxiety over a reasonable amount of time. If it has been high or you are finding yourself constantly strategizing, run or be exhausted. It's a wicked game, not love or even a potential of it.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! 💞

[@priscak6586]

I wish men were abit more open and honest about what they really want. These back and forth mind games are so exhausting. I feel like we waste alot of time, time we could have spent making memories together, pretending not to care. The advice is spot on though, classic case of wanting what you can't have. You pull away, i do the same, i start managing without you, then you want me back. Sometimes though the distance is big enough, or for long enough that you actually learn how to be without that person, how to not need them anymore🤷‍♀️

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! Yes, if this is a consistent pattern I would DEFINITELY move on. These videos might be helpful for anyone who’s experiencing something like this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs.

[@kristiemcinnes304]

I've been with my man 14 months. His past relationship (16 years) they dealt with issues with silent treatment. He did this a few times with me - I told him if he wants to be with me then he needs to talk about issues not give me silent treatment. This took him a while to get used to. We each have the opportunity to ask for time upfront but need to talk within 24 hours. After 14 months he does t give me the silent treatment anymore.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, Kristie! 💞

[@splitraven7060]

I had this happen to me. He’s blocked. I have a date with a new man this Friday.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💕

[@splitraven7060]

@@HelenaHartCoaching ha ha new date from yesterday didn’t work out. He’s a great guy; however, we are not a match. I set up a new date for this evening. 🧐🥳🤩

[@meeksmiinkboutique1681]

I love this guy his expertise is A1! I was involved with a guy off n on for twelve years. I’m so bothered that I allowed this for so long, wasting my precious years on a dead end relationship. He knew we would never marry he knew he played all kinds of crazy games. I was comfortable and felt like he was a good guy because he was educated, and had a good career and treated me well when we were together. I was so emotional a roller coaster of emotions. I will NEVER allow myself to go through anything like this. I’m happy now that I can move on

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! I’m glad you were able to move on. These videos I recorded with Alex might also be helpful for anyone who’s in a situation like that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKu4mKmpgaapg68, kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHfRY5yfic94rpI and kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqfNmKqimM-Caac.

[@lifeoutsidecomfortzone]

Good for you-it takes courage and a lot of strength to fully commit to that decision. You’re an inspiration to everyone who is also going through or has gone through a similar type of negative relationship 🙏🏼❤️

[@LaPinturaBella]

When a guy does this, he is playing games. Screw that. It's disrespect, pure and simple. Hit the road, Jack. Little boys pull this crap.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💚

[@nikitogias8367]

I literally just ignored the message even though I know he likes me and I have feelz. I don't like hot and cold or games. I'm ok with accepting that some guys can't go deep which is really important to me 🙂

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, Niki! 💕

[@janine1111]

I really believe it’s all about that! Some men are just scared of losing their freedom and independence when having a women. It’s really just their issue, it’s not ours, girls!!

[@georgialee6755]

Janine A man isn’t afraid of that if he’s with a woman he wants to be with. Most men end up married. Don’t use that as an excuse

[@franziskani]

@@georgialee6755 A man can get married or end up in a longterm relationship - and never go deep with his partner. Isn't going to last of course. and yes, some persons (males and females) simply are not relationship material. Some do not know and some are O.K. with it and just swap partners constantly (or they live single - but then they would not be an issue for the people watching this video.

[@luckie6682]

When they pull away, so do I, I'm a grown, classy bosslady, I truly don't have time too reraise boys that their momma should have did this right the first go around, which means he is a player, and players get played ,no real man that truly love you will ever pull away, realize, this red flag, I told him, last night , I'm getting married and wished him well, and he blew up, I'm like, you know I'm not feeling you right so why would you blow up, have a good night , he text and called all night I turned my phone off, this is what you do ,treat them the same way they treat you, if he pull away and get with another or even if he doesn't have anyone else , you pull away for good, no lady deserves too be played with or tested in this manner, never allow no man too treat you any kind of way and you be satisfied with this horrible treatment men can be boys and if you allow him too he will use you as his playground, which means he has no respect, integrity, or worth for anyone including himself, no real man will ever do these things too hurt your heart unless he is not into you, he just want a piece of ass and note you in his lil black book , save yourself for your true love believe me you will not regret it, I'm an example this guy thought he had me in the palm of his hand and found out real quick you loose real love playing with a woman's heart, I reversed it and now his heart is broken, and thats his petroleum he shouldn't have played with grown ups stay in a child's lane, especially when you can't stand the rain, Amen

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here - I agree! 💜

[@LemansSunset350]

Amen!!! ❤️

[@annetteka]

I don't believe in a God but our innate prowess. To truly withstand and siphon through(~),out the toxic side of power struggles based on gender is as much an ideal as it's reality. Grace's (p)roof..Up In Flames kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWG3e2eght2Gb68

[@justaconversation3729]

Exactly... guys who play that game are only about crippling you and controlling you. Just cut guys like that out of your life. Have one conversation about it. One. If he embraces the critisizim and apologizes, then ok. Otherwise move on and forget that loser.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💙

[@arkieologist]

I really like your direct approach. 💯👌 No begging or anxiety. Just confronting the issue and they've only got a few ways to respond that could make me consider moving forward with it. If not, gotta cut it off and not be payed with.

[@lmiller1413]

Amen! Preach sister!

[@teresam3350]

What would you suggest saying, exactly?

[@marcycat]

I find when I don't do anything is when a man seeks me out. When I don't call him or show alot of interest. Ultimately it will be up to him to pursue me or to want more of a bond. Men will try to pull a woman in early on to see who she is in her standards and boundaries. I lean back and observe him to see what his intentions are. A man will tell you who he is if you observe and listen. You will know when to take a step forward to meet him or not.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💞

[@jerusalem7050]

Yes man like challenges.

[@surdogal]

When a guy tries to do the hot/cold leave the door open routine with me I love to slam that door firmly shut and move on with gratitude for not wasting any more of my time. I wish them well I truly do but I’m waiting for my Mr Right to show up - I don’t want to miss him because I was too busy looking out for Mr Time Waster !

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I love what you said here - thanks for sharing! These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mneZyFf6Z_oMU.

[@surdogal]

@Mukaila Lateefat Thanks but my ex’s are ex’s for a good reason, I would not have them back. Self love and self care is what I am working on and I trust the person who is right for me will come my way in time 💜

[@georgialee6755]

surdogal Don’t think too much about getting mr right - you have to get yourself in order first so you can attract Mr Right.

[@paula3406]

It is a waste of time.i am dating a guy who is very moody and I am not going to put up with him anymore.he is a jerk! I can get Alot better than him.🙂🌺😇

[@Divineceylo]

If a Men can go without a whole day talking to me , he will live his whole life without me

[@jerusalem7050]

That is a standard right here. Good for you for setting it high.

[@fairyshades]

Yassss

[@nogalistictuber7166]

Love this!!! Thank you for this much needed reminder girly!!!

[@telishaswails5554]

Going through it now. Sometimes you give your all and the person you love just breaks your heart.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Sorry to hear you’re going through this right now. These videos should be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKvcm4CihKlmpcU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZfMhYijlKl2d9k, kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/b524amp5qM97aLc, kzbin.info/www/bejne/p3KZc5p9Z5lpmLc, kzbin.info/www/bejne/baPCk5RqoLeYl7M, kzbin.info/www/bejne/iamXpad7gLp_has, kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYfRm5ppiquMmrs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/ol6bmJaCrtWbpdk.

[@telishaswails5554]

@@HelenaHartCoaching thankyou very much

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! ❤️

[@goldenopportunitytospeak6293]

Never give a person your all. They are just human beings.

[@telishaswails5554]

@@danilaroche1156 actually we are married and have a daughter and luckily we've been doing well lately thanks to communication

[@delancey6232]

His silence is MY DECISION to leave and lock the door behind me.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Delancey!

[@sldavina7073]

Focus on you ladies!👸🏽He knows what he's talking about. It works. I've done this unknowingly and he just confirmed my experience. Powerful message. Thank you!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience here. ❤️

[@bearbear8244]

I’m not chasing a guy. I’m designed to be chased. Not the chaser. 😊chasing a man will push him further away.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing! 💕

[@yotiexclusive8939]

You're actually supposed to be pursued ❤

[@abutterfly7975]

I AM SO SICK OF NARC BEHAVIOUR!!! The games, the gaslighting, the emotional vacancy and the denial and never being accountable. This is excruciating when you married one and didn’t even know it for years. I work on many relationships at once but he says oh one thing is enough for him to work on and I’m the only relationship in his circle……. Give me a break. By the time he ever decides to work on more in our relationship I will have left or be 80 yrs old!😳 They are the most controlling and lying ppl and even when you point out what you are not getting from them they will blame you for them not meeting your needs, I heard that today, because I don’t listen to him. That’s after gas lighting me twice in a few hours and then coming at me accusing me of doing stuff I never did. They invent their own reality, and get more angry as time goes on, never giving you the benefit of the doubt but instead accusing, blaming and assuming that you are the bad guy!🙄

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

This video might be helpful for anyone who’s experienced a toxic relationship or narcissistic abuse: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZSqXoiqp5h3prM

[@waterlilynymph]

I was put through a test recently by a man who I love. He is going through a really hard time after losing his parents and instead of opening up a lot about it, he is retreating within and not wanting to talk to anyone. So I have been learning over the months, that his “no responses” to my texts sometimes is not a sign he is not interested, but he is truly just not wanting to talk to anyone and is going through his own form of depression right now. I have tried to end things between us as I get scared he is pulling away, and he always reassures me that he does love me and does not want to lose me but it’s really hard for him to focus on just our love right now. I realized that even though men may appear to be “fine” or strong on the outside looking like they can speak to you, sometimes it’s really more simple that they can’t give to the relationship due to some outside trauma or stress they are dealing with. My man has been testing me to see how patient and understanding I can be, and I am finally passing the test by not freaking out or panicking when I don’t hear from him right away. He waits till he is feeling happy or at least not sad to give his energy to me. It’s really about energy exchange since communicating is a form of it. So don’t assume the worst when a person is silent, because silence is not evidence of love’s absence in a person. They will be back if you pass the test showing that you can give them space and time, and love them still while they can’t give to you at that moment. Of course don’t wait forever to hear from them, but decide if they mean enough to let them be silent sometimes till they are ready to pick up the phone and talk. I am learning to consider first what they may be going through to cause them not to talk. Because I have tried to walk away from his silence, but he is showing there is reason he is silent and it’s not always about me. This relationship has been such a big lesson for my own ego teaching me about what love really is.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience here! These videos might also be helpful for anyone who’s experiencing something similar: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZqPQpqagoK1gopI, kzbin.info/www/bejne/mJyzgHywh9GgoK8 and kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGeWgJyVl71nhLc.

[@monicaprivate]

Resonates with me, similar experience. I do feel however that effort goes both ways. People pleasing, anxious attachment and fawning are dangerous in this scenario. Can lose oneself

[@lavenderonixsoul]

I understand

[@traumamom4338]

I needed this

[@marieo5417]

Bravo!!! 👏👏👏💐 Yes. You will also find yourself in this time. He'll talk and disclose when he's ready. Nobody should be pushed into talking or worse, 'managed'. Men have feelings people. Feelings deserve respect.

[@teresebjorsenius6432]

This just started playing in my feed and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just decided to give up on my man after he broke up with me but still is contacting me. And I told him that, now two days later he wants to talk to me again. I don’t know what he will say but I know that I want a man who never gives up on me and never runs away by breaking up.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here. Yes, you want a man who KNOWS what he wants - I talk more about that in this short video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/b524amp5qM97aLc

[@candy2325]

Golden advice. And this not only applies to the early stages of dating, but even when your in a relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and i always keep myself busy. We’re in our 30’s and 40’s and have our own friends and hobbies. In the beginning, I’m not gonna lie I felt like I put in so much energy and was always thinking about him, which is cute, but I had to come back to reality and really focus on myself, my finances, socialize, travel, etc without him being in the picture sometimes. Anytime he texts me how my day was i always share that I did a fun workout, watched a great movie, an activity with my mom, hung out with a friend, etc. keep it light and positive! It keeps the relationship refresh.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💖

[@onward-fp2fz]

From another perspective, if you put in alot of energy in the beginning and then changed it up, or in your case came back to reality, that can be confusing and can make anyone distance themselves if it's not clearly understood why the pattern is changing

[@magdalenaczechowicz7978]

Silence is a choice was the best thing I heard today and it stuck with me all day long as I eagerly await his one texts throughout the day that short and unemotional

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, Magdalena! This video might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZfMhYijlKl2d9k

[@megtaylor1027]

Stop waiting sis. Just stop. Move on. Someone who wants to be in your life will be

[@malindaallen718]

Sounds like he is just keeping you on "the back burner", as a potential side chick or backup fkbuddy. Painful to hear, but it's better to face the truth and move on