HITMAN: ABSOLUTION (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Hitman: Absolution.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@JVLY]

Fully agree with the score tracker. It makes me feel like I'm doing everything wrong on the first try like I was supposed to know.

[@DecisiveZoom]

Sounds like my father

[@mrevilducky]

@@DecisiveZoom you'll eventually have to talk to him, heart to heart if you ever want to find peace with him

[@brainflash1]

1:31-1:37 Yahtzee predicted the "plot twist" in Batman v Superman three years early.

[@tamathemaid7171]

Wait, so both Batman and Superman are scared of theme park mascots?

[@brainflash1]

The Nightcorien Geek Might as well be.

[@tamathemaid7171]

I KNEW IT THEY BECAME FRIENDS NOT BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS SHARED THE SAME NAME. THEY WERE JUST IRRATIONAL IDIOTS SCARED OF MASCOTS

[@agonycity1754]

He also called the new death star with 3 lasers and basically jinxed in Bayonetta onto SSB. It's unbelievable.

[@nahuelahpa1881]

except noy

[@eddthehead123]

That Dam Score tracker! I got Silent Assassin in one of them, by crushing my target with a safe as he was taking a piss. Then, walking back to the exit, I got 'tresspasser' and lost like 1,200 points. Cue crazed rampage, where I murdered everyone. The passer-bys, the police, the market stall workers, the SWAT that arrived, more of the SWAT, and then finally myself.

[@Hjernespreng]

haha, it is such a fucking retarded feature, innit?

[@BaseCu327]

Hjernespreng Not really. It's meant to add challenge while not being overly demanding, as you are never forced to do it.

[@pyroneutral]

The Addiction 2 it still makes me feel like shit, i think yahtzee was right to put it in when you do a second run through or at least give people the option to disable it

[@therealdavidcage4761]

I love this game but the disguise system is fucked, it's Silent Assassin levels broken

[@gurumanlives4231]

Nate Richards Silent Assassin?

[@therealdavidcage4761]

Blue Shell Hitman 2: Silent Assassin. Basically the disguises in that game are so bad and glitchy i've lost count of how many times I walked into a room in a disguise acting normal only to hear either "OPEN FIRE" or to have everyone run away

[@gurumanlives4231]

Nate Richards Oh, I see. So basically how the TF2 disguise should work?

[@therealdavidcage4761]

Blue Shell It's like the disguise system in TF2 if when disguising yourself, a huge text appears saying "HE'S A SPY" hovering over your head

[@therealdavidcage4761]

Blazer Ashbringer That sounds like it could work, I'll give it a try. Cheers

[@ShadowWolfRising]

i love how the voices tell him to seek therapy.

[@19MAD95]

The therapy comment at the end actually made me chuckle out loud. Which is unfortunate because my oral surgery makes laughing hurt. So now my mouth is bleeding. Thanks +1

[@matthewbowen2345]

Well that went downhill fast...

[@0100-j9l]

huh

[@gabagook]

I was one of those lunatics that held a few top-ten records on these levels, so, that said, you didn't have to lose score for knocking people out. You lose 100 for the knockout, but simultaneously gain 50 if undetected, then another 50 if you hide the body. So, you could methodically knock out every enemy on the level for a grand total of... 0 points. Tada, stellar scoring system.

[@caserw2]

To be honest, 47 actually cut off the barcode

[@xiaoxiao666]

Can't believe you didn't mention that stupid level in the fog near the end where you have to avoid a maze of mines laid on the roof as if any person would ever do that on the roof of a building, or has any logic linked to it, not to mention the fact it didn't fit in with any of the previous missions

[@SirTawko]

***** So does spice

[@Rhyzak]

Only thing I remember from this game is allot of Bloom. Lots and lots of fucking Bloom. And also the broken disguise system and that annoying score counter.

[@Fuppy636]

fucking hate the score tracker, should be taken off at lower difficulties. Not saying I want to go guns blazing through the missions, but when theres a guy in the way of my objective then I should be able to choke him out without worrying about a fucking score.

[@J.sh_CDN]

"I get enough of that from the voices" "Could you at least give therapy a chance?"

[@erfaniom9576]

no

[@Gboy86ify]

3:30 Actually the Sniper canonically takes pills that make him LESS continent so he can refill his Jarate jars faster. I'm not making this up.

[@richardlionerheart1945]

aproved

[@Golem-Helm]

I wonder if those kung fu super nuns teach domestic science at the all girls school during off hours

[@Kakuretaka]

beep "That's 47 get him!"

[@RobertZabulonian]

I thought he put a bandaid on the bar code because he cut? Obviously not entirely, since you can see it, but I do remember a scene that involved a sharp object and blood going down his head early on in the game. That's why for the first few bits, the bandaid is bloody.

[@davidhill2020]

What I liked about the old Hitman was that you had the option of killing the main target and no one else, but Absolution forces you to kill everybody IT tells you to. And you have to kill TONS of people because that's all that game execs think that gamers want out of life.

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

"Absolution forces you to kill everybody IT tells you to" Which, incidentally, would be the main targets, and no one else. It is possible to have a clean run in every mission. Killing others, or leaving them alone is your choice.

[@MrHendrix17]

Christoph Brinkmann There are 4 people in the first mission that you must kill in the bullet time tutorial but other than that your definitely right.

[@MrHendrix17]

Jimmy De'Souza I'm to awful at playing stealth games on high difficulties so I never knew that. Huh.

[@snorlax42]

Jimmy De'Souza I wasn't a big fan of Absolution, but following around that guy for the first time, trying to find good spots to kill him and then realizing, "Shit, there's no one around, let's just kill him now", snapping his neck, and tossing him into the dumpster he was peeing on, was the first time in the series where I felt like a badass assassin. Maybe it's just how I played Blood Money, but half the time when I got through the mission I was like, "Well, I did it, I guess. That was pretty sloppy."

[@Rhyzak]

Christoph Brinkmann I think hes talking about the broken stealth mechanics and disguise system that 99% of the time forces you to shoot through some sections.

[@ToxicGent]

Only flaw i saw in Absolution was: i could not pick my own load-outs from mission to mission.. Didn't stop me from buying the collectors edition that was gathering dust at my local game-stop for about 14$

[@ToxicGent]

not to mention.. your a killer.. killing should give you points.. if you kill all, no one talk.. idk, maybe its just me.

[@kingemocut]

***** the point of being an assassin is you go in undetected, kill your target and make him 'disappear', and leave before anyone realizes that the dust has moved

[@ToxicGent]

assassins come in their own way.. some kill only the target.. some wipe out the block.. i sir, wipe out a 2mile radius, so i feel as though it should not be deducted. as long as i dont get caught i dont see the issue. =D

[@svenhoek86]

My main gripe was the focus meter. I kind of liked the old style where getting too close to a guard or moving suspiciously set him off, not having to press a button and hope he walks past you fast enough that your magic juice doesn't run out.

[@xxczerxx]

One thing about Yahtzee's reviewing technique, is that if you are so relentlessly cutting and sardonic about anything you can make it seem... well, shit. I seriously love his deadpan delivery but I kinda worry about viewers who take his words as serious determinants in whether a game is worth their time or money.

[@diegofloor]

A lot of people say his reviews is just bashing, so I guess your worry is very well justified. I love his reviews, he is very insightful. The grindhouse remark, for example, is pretty clever. It explains many of the choices they made for the story that just didn't make much sense to me before.

[@diegofloor]

Klamath2046 Yes! that is a distinction that seems lost in videogame journalism.

[@Bigfitz2]

For me personally I weigh the pros n cons when he reviews a game and decide from there wether I think the game is worth my time and money believe it or not I've been generally pleased with the outcomes

[@mozata6838]

He presents his biases pretty well, so it's not like he claiming to be absolutely right when he talks about a game. DWarren's strategy of weighing the pros and cons works because Yahtzee usually doesn't give an overall rating. He just gives you an idea of whats in it and how he feels about it

[@krakkenzomboid6341]

Mac Yeah but the flipside of that coin is the few games he actually recommends are probably going to be fucking awesome and almost always are in my opinion.

[@yankeelongshoreman9113]

As much as I love Yahtzee's misanthropy, I do demand some accuracy. The reason 47 shot his old handler, Dianna, even though he didn't want to was because it was a contract. He ALWAYS finishes his contracts. He protected the girl because, again, it was a contract from Dianna in exchange for her forgiveness. (At least, I think that was the 'pay') He was bred to fill out his contracts with no regard to his personal feelings or desires and to do it well.

[@genesisbustamante-durian]

do you have any evidence for that? that's what I thought.

[@ManeLion1]

The best way to play this game is to set the difficulty to purist so you don't have the score counter or instinct and just try to get through each level alive.

[@Rhyzak]

the other problem with purist mode is that the stealth is heavily broken and the disguise system is fucking pointless since u get spotted slower in ur suit than the actual uniform you just put on to disguise yourself with.

[@guyincognito7188]

Except you still have instinct. You just don't have the gui element mana bar for it.

[@borko3fkovixAC]

Although Blood Money is my favorite, i still liked Absolution a bunch, even though it changed they had to do it because of the people who weren't that much in Hitman series and made it more mainstream for today's audience. But if you knock up the difficulty and try to remain unseen without killing anyone than the actual target, the game still has that hardcore old timey taste to it. It was made for noobs and pro's equally and it succeeded in it, which imo is pretty unique in gaming industry.

[@suwatsaksri7191]

Then why call it Hitman anyway? When people are not interested in a certain game with a certain playstyle, why change of just for that audience? That makes no sense, its like saying "duh Splinter Cell is a Stealth game but its too difficulty for the Call of Duty audience so lets make it CoD with Splinter Crll slapped on it duh"

[@borko3fkovixAC]

Suwat Saksri You know why? Money.

[@suwatsaksri7191]

borko3fkovixAC exactly

[@Braollus]

I don't think Hitman is hardcore, well maybe the first two, but Contracts and Blood Money are not hardcore, to justify that, I should say that I spent dozens if not hundreds of hours in Contracts and Blood Money(definitely hundreds of ours with Blood Money). I also don't think Hitman should be like splinter cell, where you must ghost through and not be seen by anyone. The best part about Blood Money and Contracts is that social stealth aspect, instead of being unseen you got to blend in, get a disguise, explore the level, plan out your assassination and then try and execute your plan, that was fun. In Absolution, you just go in and kill your target, levels are too small and closed down to allow for any kind of planning, exploration is gone, now you cannot be seen for more than 5 seconds, it's basically Splinter Cell. Which is to say, it's not a bad game, it's just a bad Hitman game. I've seen some news about the next installment, as much as I remember, the developers said they are bringing back the sandbox, proper big sandbox, which is good, if they stick to their word and go through with. Damn, I wish for another Blood Money type of Hitman game, because by this point Blood Money's been completed many many many times, most if not all interactions discovered, would be good to get a new real Hitman game.

[@BFedie518]

One thing i find weird is that in this stealth game, Agent 47 can take way more bullets than Adam Jensen in Deus Ex: HR, which is supposed to be either a stealth game or shooter, depending on how you want to play it.

[@MasterCharlie104]

Oh don't you start telling me I have a problem! I get enough of that from the voices thank you very much!

[@blockhead134]

he didnt just put a bandaid over his barcode, he cut it off

[@harxciii]

yup

[@Phagastick]

He did not cut it off, it was just symbolical.

[@blockhead134]

McAkkeezz there is a scee in the game where he takes a knife to the back of his head and he throws a flap of skin into the sink as well as blood. he cut it off.

[@Phagastick]

+blockhead134 He did not cut it off completely, he just disfigured it.

[@AnEvilMathematician]

+blockhead134 +McAkkeezz He only cut off 2 numbers the 47 at the end (hence the blinky red icon at the start of every mission). It does not help the fact that there is still a huge fucking barcode on the back of his head.

[@grantharrison1715]

I just felt the map was linear. I had to run through dodging guards then get to the area that has the target. It wasn't an open world it was a straight line with a target at the end.

[@VicariousReality7]

Right bout when you impersonate a "wrestler" is when i stopped giving much of a shit about this game The vastly improved graphics apparently came at the cost of a sensible story

[@brickbtb]

I'm sorry but....sensible story? Have you played Blood Money? The most I got out of that story was facing off against an albino clone engineered to assassinate the president...and the Mardi gras mission where you kill assassins dressed as crows ffs...

[@VicariousReality7]

Croztisoblivious I have played all Hitman games Many times Have you?

[@TrueMentorGuidingMoonlight]

Wait, Yahtzee thinks that Hitman 2 was the worst? I beg to differ. Hitman: Codename 47 was worse than 2. Maybe he ignores Hitman 1's existence simply because it wasn't worthy enough to be considered as a game...

[@TrueMentorGuidingMoonlight]

Lord Dio! Ah, I see your point. I played through all of Hitman 2 myself, and I found that I only hated the mountain-based Japan missions. I didn't feel like the first and last Japan missions were that glitchy. But at the same time, every mission had OCD guards who would shoot me whenever they saw me run, disguise or not. But I was shown how to alleviate that by the "silent run" glitch where I hold down the "run" button while repeatedly tapping the "w" key. I believe that over-lenience and having a vice grip on your bollocks are just relative, depending on your full understanding of the game's code and stealth system. With enough trial and error, I often find reasonable guard quirks to exploit (a great example would be Hitman Blood Money's "You can't be here!" animation that gives me an extra 2-3 seconds to run behind the corresponding NPC and KO him/her).

[@dragonballworld8070]

Hitman codename 47 wasnt that of a bad game, its just that the graphics are ass Contracts is pretty much a remastered version of it only changing a few missions

[@travisretriever7473]

I wonder what he'd be like at a furry convention... o.o

[@FurfaggingIntensifies]

*cough chough* chlorine *cough cough*

[@Rottythepup]

+Travis Retriever (Wolven) id be scared ;3;

[@Rottythepup]

+dog Ha the annoying dog is the best character :P

[@SomberYeti]

He would probably set the building on fire and block all the exits.

[@Jackonian]

Just want to step in and say that it's understandable that you lose points for knocking someone out, because that provides evidence, and would cause a lot of alert if the unconscious body was found. It's why you gain the exact same amount of points back for hiding a body - you're forgiven if you clean up after yourself.

[@Cosimia]

No it is shit.

[@B0K0691]

@@Cosimia reason?

[@ShinobuSakurazaka]

Absolution was good because it forced you think about what you were going to do, in Blood Money 47 had a fucking medicine cabinet hidden in his suit with syringes full of sleeping formula or poison. In Absolution, you have to plan ahead otherwise you'll miss your opportunity to kill your target (or targets) in a way that looks like a freak accident and the fact that you're reduced to nothing but your bare hands after escaping the hotel and you have to use a extension cord flex to garrote people shows that 47 is a true professional no matter what. Hate all you want but IO interactive show us why other assassin game series like the AC series pale in comparison to Agent 47's big bald shadow.

[@tatguy]

blood money made you think a ton more, walk into a room disguise as a guard but carry the wrong weapon and BAM you're dead, you couldn't really fight your way out of a situation and one more thing... YOU COULDN'T HIDE A SHOTGUN IN YOUR SUIT

[@nonamesam]

4 syringes is hardly a medicine cabinet, and how exactly do you have to plan ahead when the game gives you free wallhacks that show where everyone is going? Blood Money required in-depth study of guard patrols and lines of sight, whereas Absolution was just a linear killfest in comparison.

[@MegaOmega001]

I don't think you can but Assassin's Creed in with Hitman besides "assassination". They have their own styles. Assassin's Creed is assassinating like a swooping eagle, jumping in abosolutely flawless ~maybe~ avoiding guards. While Hitman is assassinating as the man behind the curtain, you kill your target while your not even in the room because you've set up a deathtrap.

[@TheTwistedbeaver]

blood money was soooo much better than absolution,,,, just because of the amount of handholding found in absolution.... giving you a small linear area and saying "which of these 4 methods will you use to kill 'this guy'"... whereas blood money gives you a huge open area and says "here's your target, do whatever" only graphics whores would prefer absolution and its COD style -on-the-rails- type of gameplay typical of this inbred generation of casual facebook gamers who need onscreen prompts to be able to do ANYTHING.

[@ShinobuSakurazaka]

TheTwistedbeaver I been gaming for over 30 years and hate games like COD so keep your BS assumptions to yourself. Also, I never said Blood Money was bad and still stand by the fact that Hitman is one the few series that hasn't been ruined by modern gaming yet. Hitman is great and you aren't, now move along little boy.

[@gabagook]

I was totally that person who always had to set the high score for a level. I actually made it into the top ten globally for one of the more difficult ones.

[@TheShadowNovus]

Lol return of the mad ocelot god near the end there. Love how yahtzee references past reviews xD

[@coconuthead1361]

Don't hate me, but I played the Blood Money demo the other day and I didn't really like it. The controls were clunky, gameplay awkward, and I must have messed up at some point because it didn't allow me to continue the demo.

[@coconuthead1361]

***** Yeah, but the demo is supposed to show a game at its best.

[@coconuthead1361]

***** well yeah, but I wasn't talking about the storyline. The gameplay for the demo just didn't click for me.

[@coconuthead1361]

***** I accept the fact that your belief of my opinion being incorrect cannot be proven in a court of law.

[@coconuthead1361]

***** If you feel bad for the people you kill, do you even play video games at all?

[@Boolus]

***** You do realise that they aren't people, right? They are just a clump of code represented as pixels on a 2d screen. They don't die, their health points just reach zero and their models ragdoll.

[@ryroyce]

Why couldn't 47 just put the plaster on his head WITHOUT the semi-successful cutting of his scalp? (i say semi-successful because he failed) . Or the master of disguises could wear a wig, or fucking spray paint the barcode - anything that made better sense

[@Terrorstanius]

guys he had a tracker under the barcode and he cut it out

[@kalonivek717]

Terrorstanius Terror you've commented on every person who didn't know there was a tracker. A+ for effort, mate.

[@Terrorstanius]

Kalo Kertesz gotta help inform my niggas

[@Psyduckmaster01]

In my first playthrough of Absolution, in the strip blub level, I literally walked up to the guy, while he was surrounded by other bartenders and people who went there, shot him dead, and still waited almost a minute before someone saw he was dead.

[@WomenRespecter9000]

"I wouldn't stay my blade just because my target was also afraid of theme park mascots" Let me introduce you to a movie called "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice"

[@weirdo3381]

I finished hitman absolution with $-9,000. Just because I killed the henchmen along with the targets, while still being stealthy.

[@NinjaAdorable]

Wait, did he off handedly said that Silent Assassin is the worst of the Hitman games ? Well, this twat..... SA was awesome. Agree with everything else.

[@fulldisclosureiamamonster2786]

It's certainly the most hardcore. And it does have that one godawful Japan level. So I guess what Yahtzee is trying to say is that it's the "worst" Hitman game, but certainly not a bad game by any means.

[@profanegunman7586]

He actually cut the barcode off with a knife, but okay .-.

[@sykeassaultz3884]

It's still there if you look

[@bobthegracious9432]

TheVergilus If you are trying to defend the game you are doing kind of a shit job

[@Chinga3000]

Yep, its quite an important cutscene because it shows 47's humanity leakiing into his logic . Almost like the game saying "Where is your consciousness ?" "Where is the soul located ?" "Can a genetically engineered clone even have a soul ?" I played it baked and never once looked at the ridiculous stat bull, caused as much chaos as humanly possible .C4'd everything lol .Didn't take the professional killer from a intelligence agency seriously whatsoever .Had fun.

[@burstingturtle]

Profane Gunman Not the entire thing though.

[@emzedjiklool511]

the score system adds upgrades and nothing else,who cares? you have no penalty, im surprised everyone's so pissed at it

[@AlphaZeroX96]

Zero Punctuation guy thinks Blood Money is the best? That's...awesome! I'm glad he thinks Blood Money is the best Hitman game ever made. But wait...Zero Punctuation videos are usually jokes and not the truth about games...did he actually mean it about Blood Money being the best?

[@alexleslie2898]

Nightcaster460 yes, he's mentioned it in other videos

[@guyincognito7188]

"jokes and not the truth about games" Wot?

[@LucresntBlade]

This Game really fucked itbuo for me... Kinda awkward with nice graphics. Blood Money is still my # 1 !!!

[@MrPiccoloku]

I am that lonely jizz-handle. And I am not one. Maximum score feels great. Three word sentence. What now? Damn.

[@Archangel96]

blood money best game ever hitman 6 2nd contracts hitman 2 the 5 and never played codename 47

[@Bova-Fett]

More like Hitman: Crap-Solution.

[@Domenicomn]

tell me everything you dislike about Hitman 5 ,young sir and i may try to counter your arguments

[@TubbierWombat]

***** Just remember that the burn will never be as good as when he called Sniper Ellite V2 "Sniper Elite wee poo".

[@existenceisrelative]

I'm glad you enjoyed my entirely accurate synopsis. But there's no need to keep praising it in such worshipful tones. Despite my obvious talent in recalling story-lines with complete and total fidelity, it does not qualify me as your deity.

[@existenceisrelative]

I'm sorry, i took a nap halfway through your comment. So I'm pretty sure you're congratulating me on my astoundingly concise and accurate synopsis of the hitman franchise. Well I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[@TacticsTechniquesandProcedures]

Deus Ex. I enjoyed that game. They're watching us through points of light. Spread the word.

[@pinkpiggy9346]

have the same problem, i keep forcing myself to replay a level to get a higher score. sr to say that ive only just tried the hitman franchise and not very familiar with the gameplay. it took e quite a while to understand how u get high score. what's strange to me that by approaching and kill in open fight can unlock other killing styles bt at the same time reduce ur score

[@Cosimia]

Ok I like the game but it is still shit. Here is why 1. I was messing about and got a Silent Assassin rating after gunning down everything that moved. I remember in H2SA how hard I worked to get the SA. 2. Disguises. 3.When I do a mission that LITRALLY HAS NO FUCKING TARGET AND I KNOCK SOMEONE OUT AND I GET POINTS DEDUCTED BECAUSE SAID SOMEONE IS NOT SAID FUCKING TARGET.

[@sherman614]

The thing about Hitman Blood money, is that it was much easier to go into a level and find 2 or 3 different way to complete your objective, just by hanging out in certain areas or walking around. Absolution.. I kept feeling like I was dumb for not noticing some ways to take out targets.. then I realized "Oh.. There is only 1 way unlike Blood money.." Other times the game was holding my hand showing me EXACTLY what to do with no room for creativity. And the disguise system.. Totally broken here.

[@MrKoffeeKup]

This is a really good review of this game, he just said everything I thought when I played this game.

[@Bloddrake]

Instinct mechanics? I played on purist so i never used it.

[@JustinCage56]

4:06 How is Hitman 2 the worst?

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

Hidden Valley. Motorcade Interception. Temple City Ambush. Redemption At Gontranno. The ridiculously stupid sneak speed. The chloroform. That's how. Now, even the worst Hitman is still better than a lot of games out there, but there's no denying how infuriating these levels were.

[@JustinCage56]

Christoph Brinkmann Will it was still my personal favorite, but everyone's view is different. Honestly, my less favorite in the series was Blood Money, but no offence to any fans of the game that is.

[@Bullitthiphop]

Justin Stone Have you played it recently? I had the fondest memories too but after playing it on the HD collection all the levels the guy above mention are terrible, boring or glitchy. A lot of bugs too. I'd agree it has some of my personal favourite missions but those levels above take it down quite a bit. Codename 47 might be equal to it though for inconsistency and bugginess though Plus the control system and whole gameplay in total got a lot tighter and better.

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

Nailed it. Now again, Justin, nobody's saying that Silent Assassin is a terrible game. It's not. It's overall a great experience and has some iconic levels and experiences that the other games don't have. It's just that, because of the aforementioned problems, that out of the Hitman games, when you stack them up against each other, #2 falls a little short.

[@JustinCage56]

Christoph Brinkmann Maybe it's just nostalgia talking, it has been awhile since I played it. Thanks for you guys input.

[@Karakuioshi]

I wonder... if you don't care about "being perfect" as a Hitman then why do you even care about points?

[@felixedwardz5459]

What do you mean there was no pacing?! In Silent Assassin have gave up killing and worked at a church! We've seen him go from the nutjob he was in Contracts (or Codename 47 if you actually enjoy the series), to a father figure with a hidden agenda in Absolution. Yahtzee, your funny. Just not very good at remembering a coherent story line.

[@centurion7671]

This game is so bad, I stopped playing it i the first mission. Its like a patience simulator. They give you a gun or a knife or a brick and then tell you "Dont go kill anyone" even killing fcking guards removes points from your gameplay and you know what? You need said points to unlock new weapons! Really? You give me a stealth shooter and punish me for killing enemies or guards in this game? Fck this game.

[@lewisbirkett4428]

Is my graphics card broke? I used to run CSS and csgo no lag 120 fps fine and now I can't run at a constant 30 on lowest settings and those games run on a potato. Has my main card broke and my motherboard auto switched to my in built graphics? I always get 5-15fps drops in csgo and tf2

[@Obi-WanKannabis]

WTF. Did you just say Hitman 2 is the worst hitman game? No, absolution is.

[@aaro1268]

Absolutely hated the game until I started ignoring the disguises and guns. The hardest after that was finding a bottle to distract the occasional guard. Otherwise, I just waited to sneak past the guards with the peripheral vision of a drunk guy motorboating. Like Metro Last Light, some levels should not turn into shootouts. That's about the only thing I hate now; some levels don't let you execute the target silently. Playing stealth is easy, though some levels need one or two replays.

[@guntherhermann2317]

Discarding excellent scripts and dialogues of the previous games in favor of effortless Quentin No-Talentino styled crap... Why, IO? Why?

[@LtSprinkulz]

No, Contracts was the best, no stupid inventory restriction, a dark and creepy atmosphere, and targets that you reeeaallly hated. In blood money i just found myself killing anyone who wasn't an exact clone of everyone else. in contracts i actually had to use strategic planning and well timed execution. In blood money i just spooked some guards to make the bad guy hide so i could stroll around as a cop/guard and find the dude in the most obvious hiding place.

[@KingOhmni]

Hmmm, well I'm not sure of the rules in African English but I know in UK English everything must be ended with a full stop. saying Fail does not constitutes an insult. Calling you an idiot would which I wouldn't as evidently you are not. However I must say, simply pointing out the mistake is not helping. Everyone does that. It is not constructive, it is just criticism. Giving the person a rule of thumb to prevent the mistake from re-occurring would be. Enjoy your day good sir.

[@KingOhmni]

Humans eh? Just in case you were not aware of this lil technique, if in doubt as to whether you should use you're or your say the sentence with "you are"where you were wondering which your to use. If it makes sense use you're, if not. Use Your. For example. You are being pedantic(you're) versus you are manner is appalling(your).Your is possessive.You're is not.Sorry if you already know such things and just made a mistake:)And now I've said your so much in my head the word no longer looks right:|

[@six2make4]

Played it on normal not too long ago, picked up a shotgun in the fourth or fifth mission and killed everyone. Sure my score was shit, but I did it on my first try thanks to the slow-mo mechanic and all the ammo and health lying around. Kinda lost interest after that...

[@danutmh]

Yahtzee you have no idea how hard these games actually are when you play them by the book on the hardest difficulty.In hitman 2 you couldn't come anywhere near someone or they'd just freak out about you being bald,and having a face only a mother could love.

[@sailoritaly]

And then along came the new movie which ruined everything

[@rocksteel9238]

+Sailor Italy It somehow managed the impossible of being worse in critic's eyes than the last Hitman Movie

[@countofcounts]

If I could change one thing about this game, it would be the amount of health you get. Agent 47 literally absorbs bullets, making it incredibly easy to just blast your way through each level. 1 or 2 shots should take you down. That would encourage stealth and keep me from committing mass murder.

[@GarretsShadow]

Hitman can make it look like an accident as well, there are various mechanics in the game dedicated to achieving this. In fact you score higher if you make it look like an accident, so one would think that Hitman is actively trying to make it NOT seem like a murder.

[@tyokabina2829]

Soo.... played five nights at freddys yet? awkward, but what other train of thought coud I have from themeparkmascots novadays

[@keithadams7619]

Getting away from the scanner police is piss easy, just get rid of one vertical line on your barcode and you're golden. Because several years of retail work taught me a barcode doesn't register if one of the lines is missing.

[@nielsmichiels1939]

professor farnsworth walks in the room. pf: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, hitman is returning to the old formula for the next hitman game.

[@Erik-qv5ue]

Is Hitman 2 seriously the worst hitman game ? I loved that game as a kid, i hate when i find out that something i loved as a kid was actually shit in everyone else's opinion.

[@SynthLizard8]

"aiming being bad is more a feature than a bug - it discourages running and gunning through the level, right?" Wrong, if something's bad in a game, then it's a flaw, no excuses.

[@oneconn9959]

Silent assassin wasn’t the wors, the first game was probably the worst if we’re being realistic the graphics didn’t really give it a good chance tho

[@CPCGamer]

47 is also the number of miracles attributed to Jesus in the entirety of the Bible. The more you know!

[@SoniKwolf1498]

do a review for life is strange

[@father042]

Has Yahtzee even played Codename 47? That game had ridiculously cheesy voice acting and cutscenes, was broken as hell and very hard.

[@CPCGamer]

I think the game is so bad because Kane and Lynch are in it and everything they touch is poison.

[@shuansown7884]

In Hitman 2 the bad guys are not dumb. Even when you wear a disguise they will easily recognize you. Even the ninja disguise which has a full face mask will not protect you from the guards. They will freak out, check your ID, and then kill you.

[@linkno1]

Hitman 2 enemies were way too 'over powered' when it came to noticing you. In some situations, this gave a nice extra and realistic challenge, especially when a Russian guard notices that in the 5 years he's worked in that place, he's never once seen your obvious bald 'not Russian' face walking around, and if new recruits were going to be stationed around here, he would probably be among the first to know of it. On the other hand, I don't know why the hell a bunch of mafia guys would think that the milkman is 'overly suspicious, especially when all he is doing is delivering the milk. Murdering somebody isn't even what I had planned, I just wanted to see how well Hitman 2 could be played as a milkman simulator. All in all, still my favorite Hitman game, even if the enemies were way to observant and cautious of minor roles such as the mailman or random civilians.

[@shuansown7884]

I agree completely. How did the ninja's know who you were though? My whole face is covered!

[@linkno1]

shuan sown I always assumed that it was because he 'acted' differently to the other ninjas or something, like he walked in a 'non-ninja way' that they somehow noticed. It's the only conclusion I could think of to how the hell they knew I wasn't one of them. Or maybe that Caucasians are generally taller than Asians (it's been a while, I remember the Ninjas stereotypically being Asian). Maybe they noticed his taller stature and thought "Hey, I don't remember any of my co-workers being Caucasianly tall. That's pretty suspicious".

[@shuansown7884]

The fact is, you are dressed like them and they immediately start shooting at you. Noticing someone is taller the most of your coworkers usually doesn't result in you shooting them right away, but hay thats ninjas for ya.

[@SomeGuyTHPS]

linkno1 "obvious bald 'not Russian' face" Really? I always thought 47 looked kinda Russian. I mean, two of his genetic 'fathers' were Russian, after all.

[@Vullinia]

Agent 47's in Gryffindor huh? I guess that makes sense

[@Blairbutshescute]

I've never played Hitman. It looks cool. 2 minutes ago DerpSimsAgents13579 I love this game! 1337 years ago

[@EwanGleadow]

I'd probably say: Zero Punctuation, The Big Picture and Jimquisition is OK. I also like Meatwagon and Co. :3

[@Mastersan300]

After seeing quite a bit of reviews for this game (because I like the Hitman series and wanted to see what this one's like), I'm starting to call this one Hitman: Absopooption. I loved sneaking in, setting up a trap and leaving the front door before your target knows you're there. Now it seems that you run in, guns blazing and not caring if anyone stood in front of your gun for a couple of minutes. And it also seems 47 is way out of character. I haven't played the game, these are impressions.

[@TheMinxTail]

Going back to Hitman, I've never once played that game, frantically aimed at and missed someone in the middle of a firefight and got angry about it. This isn't Call of Duty where gun reliability and superhuman skill is a given - you're an assassin who is desperately outnumbered, and even when you get gunned down it just reminds you of the setting you're in, where guile and wit is a must. To say every blemish is an overall flaw regardless of context in design is the definition of nitpicking

[@TheMinxTail]

Not quite. One cannot consider a game just by its individual elements, but as the way it comes together for the overall experience. And many games use their flaws as things to work around and exceed. For instance, the graphics in Silent Hill 2 are awful by modern standards, so the designers put a fog over things past the draw distance, along with a gritty filter, and used the inhuman movements to make the monsters seem even scarier. Part of why it holds up today

[@4200Felix]

The problem with the game IMO is that it isn't actually that difficult of a game, but since it goes for the checkpoint save thing a good score requires you to do everything perfectly. Which means a shitload of tedious replay, which is only enjoyable as long as you can still experiment with doing it differently. But if you do you fuck up, and then there stops being things to experiment with and it just becomes tedious repetition. Or you can just not give a fuck and just breeze through it.

[@TheMetaHorde]

The reason you think the aiming is horrible is because the bullet doesn't magically go where ever the crosshair is. Different weapons have different ranges, and the further away you go from the target the larger the bullet spread. The silverballers are good to just kill someone from across the room, but you can't snipe from afar with it. Blood Money was bags better than Absolution, your entire comment shows that you didn't really play Blood Money, did you

[@TheMinxTail]

If I remember right, the previous games had a 'suspicion metre' that would let you know when your disguise was going to be blown, and the aiming being bad is more a feature than a bug - it discourages running and gunning through the level, right? Even discounting the vastly more organic feel of Blood Money, compared to Absolution's arbitrary story focus, there is one fact one can't dispute from personal esperience: Blood Money is much easier on the eyes for those of us not playing on a HDTV

[@AndyMcCy]

It was terrible and it really showed that the developers missed the point of the Hitman games. I wanted to perform missions the way I wanted in whatever whacky ways I could find but instead I had a constant score telling me how much I'd fucked up because I hadnt done it in one very specific way. And finding out what that way is and then mechanically executing it isnt as satisfying as coming up with your own way that you'll enjoy the most.

[@Chromosoner]

Well except that you dont get Instinct ON Max Difficulty. I'm surprised how weirdly definitive everyone seems to be on what they think is the best, just saying it like it's official. Personally, I loved Blood Money but I think I did have far more fun and much more replayability in Absolution, but wouldn't even care if someone said Codename 47 was the best, despite that being the only one I personally couldn't tolerate

[@henryellis6628]

I don't think you understand. The aiming in Blood Money was bad for a reason, to discourage you from using it. It wants you to be clever with how you play the game and not to shoot everyone. Blood Money was one of my personal favorite games ever made (this is my OPINION) and I really enjoyed the fact that it makes you think about exactly how you're going to complete the level instead of running around shooting everyone. That's what modern shooters are for.

[@NiceHulk]

4:04 Wait... Did you call Hitman 2 the worst game of the series?! To me from worst to best the order is probably Hitman 1, Hitman Contracts, Hitman 2 and Hitman: Blood Money. I loved all of them but 1 and 3 were a little too uneven, with some amazing levels and some really shitty (running in the jungle in a suit, chasing a leopard?!). I'm still unsure if I really want to play Absolution or not...

[@dinodino6]

That's random. He got into some sort of trolling-flaming war with other people. lol Basically it was a list of everything that made the game sucky, unbalanced, inconsistent, unimmersive; compulsory radar unless on purist, AtoB sub-levels, killing targets in scripted cutscene events, QTE's, disguise broken from back of the head 20 meters away in 3 seconds etc etc seriously why give compulsory radar when you already have unlimited optional 'see through walls' power? How much help do we need

[@Spike12d3]

Lot of levels towards end with just gauntlets of enemies and no targets. Disguise system pretty annoying change, many facepalms. Really hated not having poison syringe -.- Story wasn't amazing but after seeing ending I'd say I enjoyed the journey :D I'm very persnickety about games usually, and this one has a lot of issues @ times, however my love for Hitman games in general allowed me to just get over it and I'm still enjoying messing with Contracts in more of a blood money fashion.

[@Ozku9]

Most of your points are true but there are some which are kind of stupid: No briefcase: Does it really matter?, No replay value: It has some because levels have different routes, Regenerating health: Only on easiest difficulties; Also you can turn it off. I think it's not crap but it's not good either because they changed the game too much and made it stealth than infiltrator game. It's not worthy successor for Hitman serie.

[@MrMoldyMurder]

There is lockpicking,there is no auto aim,there is weapon customization in contracts mode,i dont think there was saving in blood money either and there are checkpoints,disguise system seemed alright to me,there are QTE's but they arent very frequent,Too many places to hide bodies really?IMO it wasnt THAT linear it was like the older ones as far as linearity goes,there is no regening health (Not sure what difficulty you play on but there are health packs in the game)

[@dinodino6]

you're rational arguments have no power here. This is the land of 'omg Ezio is so cool' &mind gymnastics to justify the linear levels&stupid-arse detection system You forgot the crap story,The story really is a pile a shit This is now when fanboys accuse you of not liking the game because you are not good at it, even though you can adapt to the nonsensical detection system& just exploit it-(splinter cell till you find the effective disguise) breaking all consistency&immersion you are not alone