Hobo Tier List

[@ratking1330]

Theres a guy in my downtown who wears a traffic vest and just goes by "Mayor" and he just goes around making sure the other homeless there dont harass the business and people on the big shopping street. All the businesses here know who he is and give him free food all the time. He knows all the other homeless people here by name and often gives the free food he gets to them. Even the security and cops like Mayor since he's one of the few people the tweaker schizo hobos actually listen to. There was a guy once who was having an episode in our store, screaming and slamming tables and chairs. Mayor just came in and pointed at him saying "That's no good!" And the guy just paused for a moment, then calmly left the store with Mayor.

[@hughquigley5337]

This sounds like a 4chan greentext (the good kind) but I hope its true. Also I hope they all get stable housing

[@Wavpro]

Would

[@tim_burton]

Too much responsibility solid wouldnt

[@j.w.-]

Probably more of a people's representative than the actual mayor

[@wyattxhim]

The fact he included “Crustcore” shows we’re dealing with the highest order of research.

[@powerforpower333]

the "crustcore" hobos get the strongest would from me.

[@grzexd]

I had an asthma attack reading this, what a wonderful combo of words

[@mikerphone.]

Nah he missed oogles, clearly a misinformed misanthrope

[@BREAKMEKNEES]

In grind we crust

[@cerealpeer]

everything can rhyme if you decide biffor hands.

[@stin18x]

Completely missed out on all of the vehicular hobos

[@KillMeOrUDie]

Yacht hobos, they think they’re better than other hobos

[@quinnm.3127]

@@KillMeOrUDie they are.

[@boygirl420]

as a former car hobo, i'm a little offended! i didn't live in a knockoff prius with 2 cats & my ex-girlfriend for this kind of erasure 😤 not to mention bus people, white vans, campers, and car sleepers. or couch surfers. also, do highway campers count as nature hobos? people who just sleep 20 feet from the road in a ditch?

[@ryankolbe365]

​@bygoatboy I don't think car sleepers really deserve their own category bc like they have drivers licenses and probably addresses, jobs and a support system

[@quinnm.3127]

@@ryankolbe365 i had to sleep in a car that belonged to my abusive family, they didnt know i was sleeping in it. i didnt have a support system, couldnt get a job, my address was not safe.

[@vaga4239]

Dont forget the car hobos, you have a fanbase in this community

[@xenotiic8356]

That's 100% my plan B

[@vaga4239]

@@xenotiic8356 You usually don't get to pick when it happens my dude. When your life goes to shit it's usually on a snowy Sunday in February with just the clothes on your back.

[@丨匚卄匚几]

@@vaga4239 upgrade to van, downgrade your smell

[@vaga4239]

Keep a gym membership)​@@丨匚卄匚几

[@ince55ant]

i dont know if car-hobos can still be counted as hobos when there are many cases of them paying rent like some miniturized trailer park

[@HesGotaGun505]

You forgot the iconic “fitness hobo”. These are the guys who, despite being homeless, are constantly either walking half-marathon distances along the interstate or doing CrossFit on the local playground. Lastly, they prefer tropical regions that stay warm year-round, due to their innate disdain for wearing shirts.

[@trenchery]

That's just Forrest

[@tryanything5473]

Funny thing, as a kid I was prepared to be the first kind of hobo.

[@gatergates8813]

When I turned 18 I tried to be one, took off down the road with a backpack and a sleeping bag and a guitar. Didn't ride the rails, but hitchhiked all the way from Thunder Bay to Vancouver Island. It would be tough as hell to do long term, but for a few months it was pretty fun

[@highbread817]

I mean, cartoons did make it look fun to carry a pack on a stick from town to town I wasn't prepared and I ended up like the second kind for a year

[@twentyfirstcenturygothic]

as an adult i aspire to be one

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

@@gatergates8813was it worth it?

[@LopsidedMoz]

@@gatergates8813 Why would you try to be a hobo

[@lucaarmillei1682]

I think the cold war era defected hungarian scientist who just gave up on society after they didn't let his wife cross the iron curtain and now just does students homework in exchange for some food (real story from my dad) is a pretty good example for the Übermensch type hobo.

[@lmaolol9357]

This comment goes hard af

[@RandomAmbles]

Paul Erdös has entered the chat and lives here now I guess.

[@REALdavidmiscarriage]

holy shit 😂

[@My_Old_YT_Account]

Bro stop feeding the Hungarians, they're all going to come here now

[@cariyaputta]

lmao i was doing students homework in exchange for some food 18 years ago.

[@shipwreck9146]

The gimmick hobo in our town is this guy who rides around on a bicycle wearing very short shorts, no shirt, a big hat, sunglasses. And he just rides around flaunting all day. It's magnificent, 10/10 choice.

[@chillcreep4926]

Ours is a gentleman who rides his motorcycle, nude, standing up, all over town. Local law says it's fine to be a nudist as long as you aren't also a public menace, so cops don't bother him. He may have a house...

[@shipwreck9146]

@@chillcreep4926 amazing, I am kinda jelly of people who live these lives.

[@plum999o]

our passed away last year, rest in peace Feather Hat Guy. I just told you his gimmick. He had a hat with feathers in it, that's it. He kicked ass.

[@shipwreck9146]

@@plum999o That's such a cool vibe. He definitely knew something we don't.

[@goddepersonno3782]

that sounds like the entire population of Townsville Australia

[@champagne.future5248]

There’s a guy in my area that walks around with a cardboard two-four box on his head. He’s clearly put some effort into it to make it sturdy and well fitted, with an eye slit. He also sometimes carries a brick in either hand which is concerning. But he seems peaceful enough. I don’t think he’s even homeless. It’s just a lifestyle for him

[@FloridaMan2024-y8o]

Bro, aluminum foil arms- Robot arms!

[@superspiderdum]

maybe some kind of yogic practice?

[@plum999o]

"two-four" canadian spotted

[@cruze_the]

would

[@3van660]

I think he's building himself a house which is pretty respectable tbh

[@semi__colon]

hey buddy, you forgot about the fishing hobos. always see them at the local river, tent propped up, just fishin'. BIG would for me, personally.

[@phontoid]

he day for a fish

[@jewjew4204]

haha, big wood

[@RandomAmbles]

Naw, I'm with the fish on that one.

[@PhilipAJones]

"FROGGY!"

[@doughboywhine]

eat man fish, lifetime he teach

[@bungus2012]

Years ago, I lived in a small coastal town with a famous local hobo who would walk down the highway every day. He was a scraggly and shirtless hippy with crazy flowing gray hair, and would always wave at you and smile or hold up a peace sign or something. He became something of a local character and was always liked. Until one day, one time only I was driving by and saw him holding up a sign board that says "God hates gays". Just smiled and waved like usual as I drove by. Nobody I knew believed me or seemed to have seen it so I just dropped it, and it never happened again. But I know the old man trolls hard, and I may have to bear that secret forever

[@yektaagra741]

true, you cant refute that. Whether youre religious or not

[@HesGotaGun505]

I’m really happy that “stealing delicious little treats” was included as a category.

[@migarsormrapophis2755]

"Humanize, don't generalize." -Local prog asking us to call hobos 'houseless' "Don't humanize me!" -Local transhumanist

[@RandomAmbles]

I genuinely get pissed off when people appeal to inherent human dignity. It's just such bullshit.

[@rebeccalassetter1726]

@@RandomAmbleswhat???

[@RandomAmbles]

@@rebeccalassetter1726 I know: it's a very strange reaction to admit to having, but it's genuinely mine.

[@TheDolphinTuna]

If I become a hobo and someone calls me unhoused, the events that follow will likely get me housed in the big house.

[@JJMcCullough]

Jreg really opened my eyes to the degree hobos eat sugary treats, especially ice cream. Once you see it you can't unsee it!

[@atlanticrook89]

it’s JJ

[@billjefferson2367]

Its because when you are kicking heroin you get a really bad sweet tooth

[@bighillraft]

JJ you would be the hoarder hobo 100%

[@quinnm.3127]

@@bighillraft 😂

[@TheSubwizzle]

As a former vehicular/fent enjoyer hobo, I found that the drugs induced an unquenchable sugar craving - at least with opioids. As for the ice cream thing, that’s just the most calorie dense food that’s easy to eat when you have a suppressed appetite from meth/coke/crack (no chewing necessary). Love your videos btw, JJ!

[@gosha305]

It took me a disturbing amount of time to understand that the would/wouldn't scale wasn't an equivalent to smash or pass.

[@falseprofit9801]

works as both tbh

[@vincemarenger7122]

Don't forget the full time disney park employee who lives in his car.

[@uDaniels]

whats it like?

[@GhostOfJulesVerne]

You forgot the Hobbit Hobo. The guy who digs a literal hobbit hole into the side of a hill. Yes, our city has this guy.

[@quinnm.3127]

smart

[@AstralS7orm]

It's a kind of an architect hobo crossed with survivalist hobo. Not strictly missed, but might not be as green as the usual architect hobo, depending. More common in rural areas.

[@Elhak7]

Unfortunately, sugar cravings are a big sign of methamphetamine use or recovery from opioid abuse. There's only been some cursory research done, but there's definitely an interesting connection there. Makes that ice cream category hurt even more

[@uDaniels]

sugar cravings are real when you're using opiates too. i was a functioning addict, i would do a line in the bathroom at work, get a cup of coffee, and eat two extra sugar packets if nobody was watching lol. helped with the H going down my throat from the back of my nostrils too

[@NikolasAknorov]

It’s the quick dopamine hit that sates the cravings for that little something-something. Tasty little treats ftw! ✊😁

[@maxgucciardi4507]

Yeah. My dads clean feom alcohol but he always has chocolate with him to stave off cravings.

[@bob8776]

Recovering alcoholics get intense sugar cravings as well. I know that first hand

[@princeofb7383]

I used to volunteer once a week for a homeless outreach service. Basically go around really early in the morning looking for homeless people, missing persons, check theyre alive. Give them directions to the appropriate services. Stand out encounters with hobos include guy who my coworker informed me had just got outta prison for raping his own mum distraught trans woman asylum seeker just crying in the graveyard schizophrenic guy that handsd me a CV which listed "herbology" and "hydroponics" as well as "magick" and other such things as skills. Aaaaand generally guys that had been released from prison or who were schizophrenic and definitely heading back into hospital eventually.

[@anglaismoyen]

Perfect. Just waiting for my wife to get out of the shower so we can go to bed. This is the perfect filler content to kill the white noise and my own thoughts.

[@Bloxicorn]

Don't forget to take your medication before bed. You're hallucinating that you're married again.

[@SlothGuru]

you have to eat all the eggs

[@bungus2012]

Go to the store and purchase more eggs. Swallow them whole

[@serena841]

Where are the egg shells

[@sloanekuria3249]

Just checking in. How did you sleep?

[@crxppledcryptid]

SUICIDE POSTPONED!!!!! this is incredible ty jreg 🥰🥰🥰 much love from a former/future hobo

[@no-lifenoah7861]

are you like ok? do you need help?

[@biigsmokee]

@@no-lifenoah7861you were 5 months too late

[@Ragatokk]

Your objectively wrong, old timey hobo is 100% would.

[@RubenTheCartographer]

Sadly it is more of a could question tho ...

[@wildwadew8878]

The dudes that ride trains around, there is a strong train hopping community still present that you should look into

[@BonShula]

The San Franciscan hobo is the most powerful one. They have accumulated so much human waste they have inlated the housing prices resulting more people joining their ranks

[@chrisowens4550]

Shouldn't that have the opposite effect?

[@lonenexus959]

they're eating sugar because it helps with opiate withdrawals not because they're addicted but also that too

[@momoaa]

I wish this was true

[@quinnm.3127]

i was a hobo once, immediately out of highschool. i was not kicked out, but was being tortured beyond coping by my parents/siblings. i couch surfed / lived in a car. years later, i cant recover. we need nationwide guaranteed livable basic income immediately.

[@SlothGuru]

Ha! Nice one

[@PrairieWolff]

Getafuckinjob

[@quinnm.3127]

@@SlothGuru ha what? nice one what?

[@fire_rises]

Lmao 🤣 that's hilarious😆

[@quinnm.3127]

@@fire_rises 🥺 why

[@Skythikon]

Back in high school I ended up learning to read tarot in case I ever became a hobo, figuring I'd have to be competent at pretending to by psychic if I wanted to live. Instead though I had a time as a nature hobo, getting an online BA philosophy while living in a tent in a forest. I liked to think of myself as "academic mildew".

[@altdoe9699]

You missed the "Living in a Car hobo", the "owns a bicycle hobo", the "rail surfer" (sadly nearly extinct due to the extreme falloff of boxcars in favor of intermodals and the death of passenger travel by rail in north america), and one of the largest subsets of the "young hobo", the "My parents kicked me out because I'm queer hobo".

[@AA-vr2ui]

forgot about cop pretending to be a hobo so he can get away with gangstalking

[@minminsjam]

It took me until the fire hazard hobo to realize what "would" and "wouldn't" actually meant...

[@chillcreep4926]

It took me until the end of the video. I'm tired, lol

[@doughboywhine]

@@chillcreep4926 me too

[@SarcasticState]

Our gimmick hobo is Flag Guy. He rides around on his bike all day with a giant American flag holding up traffic and causing a spectacle. Love you Flag Guy.

[@liv4071]

You forgot bus/public transport hobo who seem to just ride the bus and skytrain indefinitely with all their belongings

[@PrairieWolff]

Straight to the comments section I went.

[@antongorov5275]

Damn, he didn't rate the stinkbomb hobos. That's a real stinker tight there.

[@vogeline_]

They always be stinking up th trains

[@Brumsly]

Minor correction: when you see homeless that really enjoy sweets, it’s actually tied to opiates/opioids rather than crack. People on smack/fetty, or even just on the clinic usually crave sweets. “Ice” actually has this effect as well, but usually only after coming down, as it suppresses appetite.

[@ground.jordan]

I love that my geography brain immediately thought of the mother hobo as the Gambia to the Hobo Economy’s Senegal

[@genghisdingus]

4:09 You would not be a gimmick hobo. You would be a Skizo hobo who is not a prophet, religious, or a doomsayer but occasionally dip your toes into the "he kinda spitting tho" section coming from the top of the chart.

[@GGRemington-hf6gf]

There are many more: The Holy Hobo - one who's renounced all belongings , The Hidden Hobo - an elusive type classified only by their ability to remain nondescript ...

[@Corvid-Conquest]

There are many times in my life when I legit almost decided to become a Holy Hobo, not even joking.

[@jabuz_pas9459]

In a heartbeat I clicked on the notification for the slop Jreg

[@mabelpines1533]

we have a gimmick hobo in Atlanta who always wears a party city king costume. sometimes he wraps himself in Christmas lights too

[@JelloAsked]

i love how he just starts the video like we have any idea whats going on lol

[@sethd.8381]

Wait a minute... This isn't a tier list!!

[@LuanGamesBr]

it is a hobo tier list the metajoke here is that the tierlist itself doesn't have a tier to be in it, so the tierlist is homeless

[@Kurtlen]

This is a tier list. The tiers are Would, Maybe, and Wouldn't.

[@claireschweizer4765]

@@LuanGamesBr thank you for spelling that out for idiots like myself. gen/

[@СергейБуда-п7г]

You did great JREG at ranking every hobo in your list. Fascinating work as always.

[@BunnyOnASnuman]

"oh, hes gonna rank them S-to-F tier! That sounds entertain-" * Hears first "Would"* *OH NO*

[@driftlf]

nice jreg, you really showed those poor people who’s boss!

[@ComradeLurch-v1w]

As a homeless rail rider, i thoroughly enjoy this.

[@no-lifenoah7861]

what rails are there to ride? genuinely curious

[@ebunny1652]

I had a phase as a teen where I romanticized being a hobo, cause I thought it'd be nice to be "free" from the "system", but of course that was delusional. Not only would I not really be free, but it would probably suck ass.

[@JodattisLoeschblatt]

If you choose to be an entrepeneur hobo, than yes, you might very well suck ass for some cash, but there is still so much more other hoboing to choose from!

[@SlothGuru]

that's why you move onto your next ambition: Hobo King

[@plotted_pant42]

in the fourth matrix movie, Neo also thought he had got out

[@56jasa]

same

[@ground.jordan]

THE MADMAN. HE ACTUALLY DID IT

[@infj4w511]

This isn't even a 'would befriend' video. This is a 'would be me next year' video. Ah, never mind. Would change places with makes sense.

[@UrMom-v6d]

Watching this as an unmentioned car hobo

[@masahige2344]

I was having a good day until my stomach bacteria told me to click on this video. Of course, it also told me I had to subscribe to Junior Aspargus Egg-Salad, so my problems antedate this.

[@Whatwise]

I think the politically-conjured dreads and sandals 70s-esque “lifestyle choice” hobo should have made an appearance (soft wouldn’t)

[@primaverainverno214]

There's also the wheelchair hobo, it's always kinda hard to differentiate between the ones using it as a means of transportation and the actually disabled ones, minus the ones that are visibly lacking limbs of course (they are a subcategory on their own)

[@tobiastaraba9672]

Dmn that twist at the end makes for some good rewatchability

[@rlhugh]

what twist? I guess I need to rewatch to find out...

[@rlhugh]

do you mean, specifying the meaning of 'would'?

[@momoaa]

More hours, more watchtime for the singularity

[@invaderfrombeyond]

That ice-cream thing is real. I saw a man on the bus with a trash-bag full of shit and the raunchiest, stuck-on clothes you've ever seen munching on a Ben and Jerry's with the lid as a spoon. I watched that man reach into his trash bag, pull out caramel sauce and dump into onto his mint ice-cream. Far be it from me to judge a man for putting caramel on mint ice-cream, BUT I did attribute it to his clear drug addiction.

[@discord_and_entropy]

XD! YES! Most of my friends are homeless, and it's surprising how diverse they actually are! I was actually planning on just being homeless and relaxing and enjoying freedom once I got kicked out of my parent's house, and I could still work like 20 hours a week, be warm, and have hygine because the town I live in is shockingly good to be homeless in. I know people who've chosen to be homeless here for economical reasons, I know people who've always worked full time and lost their homes anyway. But my dad set me up with this super cheap rent deal when he kicked me out, and I have a girlfriend now too, so I've decided to stay housed Shoutout to my man Ocean. He's the nature guy, small buisness guy grows mushrooms,

[@birchvaleye]

Jreg should make a video explaining transracial terminology AWAB = assigned white at birth ABAB = assigned black at birth etc

[@weevil_bob]

The scrap metal / can collecting hobo

[@capitancuba1]

You forgot the shutter island hobos,yknow,the ones that are homeless becuz they are batshit insane and yelling at lampposts.

[@RandomAmbles]

In their defense the lamppost started it.

[@meeb_consumer]

let’s be real, the end is definitely nigh, are you living under a rock

[@MayorMcC666]

Fentanyl is the only way to optimize cost per dopamine molecule in your brain, so its basically the min-maxxed gamer move

[@milima6694]

Great Video but omg you forgot the Freight-Train-Hopping Hobos. (RIP Stobe the Hobo!!) You also forgot the legendary-Jazz-Virtuoso on Heroin Hobos;)

[@marshallmcluhan33]

Bindle pilled now

[@Jerome...]

The best hobo is the centrist hobo.

[@Maxშემიწყალე]

The "local kook" in my small town makes barn animal sounds at women and children. It's quite impressive actually.

[@Getsadandstuff]

Sending out vibrations of success for this video. Lovely to see you.

[@davidmerrell5561]

Mr. Junior Egg is a modern day Diogenes, TBH

[@Churrb]

I knew you were gonna bring up blockclerk guy when you got to spitting, I’m so locked into the jregsanity

[@givepeaceachance940]

You forgot the “guy who thinks he’s a wizard” hobo, but I guess that’s covered under schizo

[@forkes1776]

He is clearly talking about who he would be most willing to rob/be able to take in a fight.

[@gblikestosew]

You definitely forgot about the car hobos, and there are two types- van life people (homeless on purpose), and regulat car hobos living out of their shitty early 2000s sedan

[@marcy2k1]

Can’t forget the this could be Jesus coming back ones!

[@StorMyKilo]

Love this video and since we both from southern Ontario, I know we have a lot of experience with Dese boys

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

@@p-__ hey what's your, like, deal man? Why are you like this? What made you start doing this?

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

@@p-__ like I see you in the comments of so many popular channels with this exact same bit. And almost nobody enjoys it. What's going on man? You ok?

[@PrairieWolff]

1:50 Admission

[@uncouver]

You missed the "Damp used sedan" hobos. Altough that may be enough to qualify as housed

[@ackbooh9032]

Some KZbinr out there still doing tier lists or icebergs. WOULDN'T

[@superrobo999]

Thanks Jreg. I'll try to remember all this when I'm homeless again next month

[@dallas7077]

With the current rent prices I think Jreg is just considering his future options in this one.

[@philunger3334]

Good one jreeg, you really showed those homeowners who's boss! 🔥🔥🔥

[@N.Obody0080-se1gc]

By my high school there used to be this guy that would just ride a slightly-too-small bike up and down Main Street in our

[@Smalljose6912]

As a Pathologic 2 enjoyer, I'm glad that the phrase "Hobo Economy" is seeing some use outside of that fandom

[@NoConvo]

new nick name for Bill Nye the Science Guy just dropped 2:11

[@grapefruit3581]

As a mini van hobo I did not feel seen in this chart

[@baykkus]

my main goal in life is to be the useless humanities degree hobo

[@306devon]

your amazing man! Gold jreg GOLD! honestly, you are great! im doing some work in the trenches and this is just made my day and alot of other harm reduction comrades. Gracious

[@multidwee]

couch surfer got snubbed. also train hobo deserves to be a subset of depression-era pre-crack bundle-on-a-stick hobo

[@shroomlord682]

As a crust punk fan im glad you included the crust punks

[@junahsutton1602]

I thought this was smash or pass at first

[@trapsfd5021]

Hey Jreg! Ir seems like you are not experiencing irony poisoning anymore!

[@scottanno8861]

Way to go Jreg! You showed those hobos who's boss!

[@TheDolphinTuna]

Now this is the content I’ve been waiting for

[@biharek7595]

Great video jr eg! Now I know which hobos to impersonate when I walk down the street again!

[@lonenexus959]

it blows my mind how extensive this is

[@anarchicnerd666]

I was actually a young hobo. Long story. There's a surprising amount of accuracy in here XD *especially the ice cream and sugary treats bit* For real tho, it's nice to see someone actually acknowledge the f#!king peoblem, even if in joke format. Can definitely speak to the humanising part. In my case I was rescued by a charity that provided supported accomodation to 16 - 24 year olds, I got lucky in the extreme. Housing is a right, not a commodity.

[@whatcookgoodlook]

Folk punk representation

[@soap699]

Was waiting for a comment like this

[@aidenburgess217]

Urban nomads be like. But like actually a social support system that makes homelessness a viable and not a living nightmare would be kinda lit.

[@ZackBlaise]

massive oversight missing the trainhoppers

[@quinnm.3127]

i feel like those are the crustcore

[@ZackBlaise]

@@quinnm.3127 there are older trainhopping hobos who dislike like crusties, and not all crusties trainhop. Check out Hobo Shoestring, oldschool trainhopping hobo.

[@quinnm.3127]

@@ZackBlaise subbed, ill check his channel out

[@quinnm.3127]

@@ZackBlaise rip to hobo shoestring 💛 I found out after I watched his campfire vid

[@ZackBlaise]

@@quinnm.3127 Damn rip hobo shoestring, I knew he was missing but yeah that is super unfortunate.

[@anwaypradhan6591]

"CRISIS"

[@johnfsenpai]

1:38 public indecency was the OG Diogenes type