Holiday Decisions. Damned if you do, damned if you don't

[@princessbutterfly5852]

Dear Tom, we all are very concerned as we haven't heard from you for quite some time. We really hope that you are doing good.

[@loriwinters414]

Agreed. I just subscribed to him because I watch a video from 5 years ago, but started wondering what might have happened to him. I sincerely hope he is ok. I’ve never found anyone like him. His videos have been so helpful to watch

[@doxiemomma8207]

Agreed. I Miss him and hope He's ok

[@karenzilverberg4699]

Me too. I hope that all is well.

[@Amy.Munson34]

Anyone hear anything? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@rorywright5692]

I’ve been wondering the same thing! He was one of the first sites I watched! Every once in a while his site would come up and they were all older videos! The one I liked was how you don’t owe your abuser anything, and I’ve watched that several times! I hope he is ok!

[@Kynrin22]

I hope you are out there Tom, you were the first person i came across on my journey and i always felt safe and secure listening to your warm voice. I wish to hear you again soon, if there is anything we can help with please let us know. Or anyone that knows of Tom's situation could you be kind enough to pass on our love.

[@di-6895]

Tom you saved my life. This channel saved my life.

[@phonecoladycris5929]

Hi Tom please let us know if you are okay. Wishing you peace.

[@elizabethd.2398]

I'm 6-years No Contact with my narcissistic family, and I'm way past caring about what they and other people think about me and why I want nothing to do with my toxic family. I don't need anyone's approval except my own. It feels great to take back my power and march to the beat of my own drum.

[@RegisteredNurse926]

I need to have your conviction.

[@dirkdunkhase1129]

Exactly. It needed some time, but I got there in the end. I care not what others think of me. So glad to see Tom again, I was watching his whole channel some years ago 😁 and he gave me good insights. ❤️

[@phoenixd9679]

Thank you 🙏 I will tell myself every day “ I will march to the beat of my own drum 🥁💜”

[@Natalie-gb8tt]

This has come at a really good time for me. Thanks Tom. I’m glad your back. I look forward to watching your new videos after this.

[@ElleSeven-l3q]

They are going to talk about you ANYWAY. So, LIVE! Lx

[@RJ-hx5nb]

Excellent truth ~~~

[@tamelanelson1667]

My husbands Grandmother used to say “ why do I want to hang around that nasty crowd, I’m not going to give them something to talk about”. Haha Love it👍

[@susieq2334]

Has anyone heard anything from Tom? We hope that you’re safe dear friend💕💕

[@margaretcunningham7146]

I'm thinking the same thing... I think this is the most recent one and it's a year old.

[@smoozerish]

WHERE ARE YOU TOM? SEND US A SIGN THAT YOU ARE WITH US STILL AND FIGHTING. WE DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN'T MAKE MORE VIDEOS BECAUSE WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ALREADY IS A TREASURE TROVE TO THE WORLD.

[@nadine.1993]

Why can't he make more videos? :(

[@ziiineb9037]

Do you have any news about him??

[@bebop54]

any news maybe?

[@johnnylee4994]

Tom passed away

[@josseton9435]

@@johnnylee4994 Thank you for your information. I feel the same as many others will, absolutely shocked and heartbroken. He was so helpful to me in my journey with my mother. RIP Tom xxx

[@deniseterry6572]

I hope you are doing okay. I miss you.

[@nicholas5160]

Tom, theres a brazilian youtube channel translating your videos to portuguese. Your job is phenomenal!! I was a victim of a narcisist relationship. Thank you for the help! 🇧🇷✌

[@RealityCheck6T9]

What's the channel?

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

In my experience it isn't possible to have a relationship with any family member who is still connected to the narcissist. They inevitably turn out to be narcs themselves or flying monkeys. I have cut off almost my entire family because of this and it broke my heart.

[@AC-ew2xr]

so true..i noticed my brother turned into one somehow...he came into some money and now he's cold and manipulative trying to screw me over for more (successfully)....i told my mother who i just now see is one (i suspected bu she let the mask slip intentionally recently) and now SHE ISN'T SPEAKING TO ME.....because i unmasked him. LIKE KIND.

[@RegisteredNurse926]

Same here...

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

It's mind-boggling the power that has over just about anyone, in manipulating them to become messengers and flying monkeys. I believe flying monkeys should use their critical-thinking skills to decipher if what the narc tells them is not one-sided and purely based on their delusions and lies

[@minnesotajude8447]

We miss you Tom, hope you are doing ok.

[@lorenaperez6293]

Hope he's doing well. This is how I found out about narcissism, by watching his videos. They're all eye openers!

[@lorenaperez6293]

@@bebop54 How were we supposed to know? And how do you know? Sources?

[@bebop54]

@@lorenaperez6293 the comment that the gentleman left below..

[@bebop54]

@v b my God i hope it's not true too....we only have the comment below ...

[@Kat-Tan321]

@@bebop54 I’m so saddened to hear this. Tom was such a shining light here. His videos helped me through some tough times. I tried to find an obituary for him (Thomas Aelli) but had no luck. Please let us know if you find out more.

[@loudloveen]

I've watched countless videos by people who talk about narcissism over the years. You're the most emphatic one.

[@Elizabeth-gx5qj]

Please let us know if you are ok Tom. Sending peace and blessings your way.

[@lauB30]

Tom I'm worried about you. we haven't heard from you in a long time hope everything is going well💓

[@pacalvotan3380]

I watch your videos often (since at least 2014) because you're honest, frank and always to the point. I hope you continue with your dialogue as you are helping thousands of people get a grip with the narcissists in their lives.

[@clarasiewwl]

Dear Tom, I hope you are doing ok wherever you are. I thought about you today and wanted to check if you were doing ok. It’s been a few months since this video and was worried about you, I hope you’re doing alright and staying safe during this pandemic. Take good care and I pray that you are safe and finding peace in your life. And I also want to thank you for your videos, I first found out about narcissism from you on your channel and it has literally saved my life and changed the way I viewed myself and the world. I am so thankful to you and I want to let you know that your videos have brought so much peace and healing to others. Thank you ❤️

[@bebop54]

hope you are ok dear Tom....you are greatly missed....

[@samphazm]

Dear Tom, I do hope you’re ok. Wishing you a Merry Christmas. Keep safe and well x

[@it_is_what_it_is2023]

I saw a view Videos about your story and i have to say i couldn't even listen anymore because its all too cruel. Its unbelievable that you survived out of your own strength .

[@mydesignstutorials]

Thank you...I needed to hear this. I was feeling the exact emotions discussed in this video. Feeling guilty because I did not want to be in a hostile environment. My mother even threatened me that if she didn’t see my face on Christmas day, she would not give me a present/money. I told her she could keep it. I’m 57 years old..fed up..done.and liking myself for the first time in my life. I think this is going to be my best Christmas everrrrrrrr.

[@Ski7440]

Customer Service.. also well done and good job . I hope u have a good xmas x

[@shannonwhite3721]

You described my 25yr marriage. Being scared to go to family functions because I would always be put on the spot by my husband. Why stay for 25yrs? I wanted him to truly accept and appreciate me. These videos have woke me up to who the real pronlem is. This channel has literally saved every part of my life

[@wendybusby9415]

I found Tom in 2014 and he also saved my life. I hope you are okay.

[@elenifotopoulou7379]

I am sorry I truly know how it feels and how much you are going through if you marry in to these family systems. I teach my daughter now if you meet a guy isn't only about the guy if you have a good spouse because if he comes from a family that are narcissistic and like a cult it doesn't matter if his nice so to speak your life will be a nightmare you must please the Mother in law and father in law at no cost

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

You don't need others trying to smash your Love

[@KatieAwake999]

I decided not to go to any holiday gatherings this year. It’s my first year just not going. I decided to protect my healing process so as not to get thrown off track which always happens when I’m around any of them. 😔 it hurts not to see my nieces.

[@LimitlessThinker]

Good for you Katie!

[@KatieAwake999]

LimitlessThinker Thank you! It’s an odd mix of peace and pain in my heart

[@janetbuick9644]

Hi Katie, I have exactly the same situation. I have to go NC of course, and my Narcissist Mother and my Golden child spoilt sister are using my nieces and nephew as leverage to control. SO SICK.

[@justme8101]

Praying you're continuing to heal Tom. You are such a blessing, but look after yourself too 🙏 🤗

[@universe2198]

I have been a people pleaser my whole life . I now understand how it took a toll over my life. Thank u for ur videos sir!!!Merry Christmas 🎄. Glad to see u back again.

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

Know you are Worthy of Love and you do have Love within you.

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

Your feelings and emotions.

[@johnnylee4994]

Narcissists raise their scapegoats to be people pleasers. When people pleasers grow up, they end up pleasing strangers and getting abused and taken advantaged of.

[@Ivan_BSGO]

You're a great man Tom and you've helped many. You should know that. Hope you're ok.

[@ChelseaHyland]

Thank you so very much for your videos! This is so helpful.

[@danabaker996]

How are you Tom? Can you or your son please post an update?! Some of us miss you. 🙏❤️😀

[@laday4792]

Sure hope you are okay....so many people love you and miss you. Peace to you fine sir...

[@janesawyer1342]

Tom, we love you. And we wish you peace.

[@vannamarie8430]

Haven’t seen you post in a while. Hope you’re OK and well ❤️🙏🏻

[@kjam1709]

Tom?! Can you let us know you are ok or not. We love you

[@DiDi-gv9yf]

I wanted you to know with YOUR videos that I discovered about 2years ago, I began my Journey to heal. You we're the starting point. Still in that Journey. Too complex to explain my history. You helped me tremandeously. Thanks to great Souls Like you who Share wisdom. Hope very much you are doing fine. Greetings from Germany.

[@jennmemphis]

Stay away. That price is cheaper! My narc is dead and I’ll never see any flying monkeys again, so relieved!!!

[@narcicide8814]

Awesome!

[@aatikahcarmenhappy3494]

@@Mar.....O similar story I had to not only leave town to escape but moved countries to Egypt to get away from flying monkeys who destroyed any feelings of value and confidence in me.

[@jackiekittie6135]

Thanks for your videos, Tom. I'm just a faceless voice in the crowd for you, but your videos, out of the many out there on the topic, have helped me most, because through watching your raw emotionally honest account I get to access my own pain. I may be socially isolated, financially destitute and food insecure, but I have clarity and hope now and I know I can make it.

[@thesecretmask9086]

I really wish i had found you sooner... But it seems like you are done doing videos. Ive watched many of your older videos and I can tell that you have been a true friend to each of your subscribers. I pray you get the peace and love you deserve. Happy trails my friend

[@serendipitysmiles777]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP DOING VIDEOS. I MISS THEM MORE THAN YOU KNOW. I HOPE YOU ARE OK AND DOING WELL. I LOOK AT YOUR CHANNEL EVERY SINGLE DAY AND WAIT FOR A NEW VIDEO. THEY WERE A LIFELINE FOR ME WHEN I FIRST STARTED TO REALIZE WHAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH AND HOW TO GO NO CONTACT. I'VE WATCHED ALL YOUR VIDEOS AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO REACH YOU SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS COMMENT AND KNOW THAT WE ALL MISS YOU VERY MUCH! TAKE CARE.....YOUR LOYAL SUBSCRIBER AND SUPPORTER.....CJ

[@Amy.Munson34]

Some have said he has passed away :( but nothing confirmed or info

[@A.S2400]

Tom, you ok right now buddy? I’ve been thinking about you, and the NY situation. Hope you are well!! 💕 hugs

[@A.S2400]

I always watch you at holiday times !!! Thanks Tom. I need this community most at Christmas

[@josseton9435]

Miss your wisdom and knowledge, I hope you are ok. Merry Christmas Tom x

[@classyone932]

Hoping you're doing well. I haven't seen a video in a very long time which concerned me. Just know many of us are here for you. Positive prayers and thoughts your way. Just thinking of you & wishing you well.

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

Learning to Live yourself takes work. ... And it can take giving up family members

[@Kindlyone777]

Where are you? I hope you are well. You are so missed. I hope to hear from you soon. ❤️❤️

[@susieq2334]

We hope that you are ok Tom. Sending you lots of love. 💖 Thank you so much for all that you’ve given this community.💖

[@armanijack2927]

Havent participated in any "family" gatherings in years. I dont feel sad...I feel so strong and at peace. Flying monkeys keep asking why I wont talk to the Narc and that "family is family" so we need to stick together. This is where I end the conversation. Not once has anyone asked me why I dont want to come around anymore and not once has anyone asked what type of pain this person has caused me. If feels good that I am so much stronger than I was 3 years ago. Years ago I had no idea what a narc was and also was a severe people pleaser. Now I am the opposite and the people around cant stand the fact that I am not easily misguided or manipulated anymore. If this is your first year doing things differently for the holidays...please dont feel guilty. Its okay to spend it with friends and others who DO make you feel appreciated. You're not alone

[@WindWipper]

Ironic. I've received the exact same speech on occasion! But now i've learned to completely ignore them, knowing they are using it as bait to argue. No more face to face contact helps.

[@SissyGamerzandPlay22]

Thank you, Armani Jack. Your words helped me. I'm proud of us going against what others think we should do. Feels good to put myself first. Wishing you happy and peaceful holidays. ❤

[@armanijack2927]

WindWipper block them all. Even READING a txt or an email sends you into an anxiety attack. My mind and heart would race anytime I would get a random text or email. I blocked whoever I needed to so that I’d never expect any unwanted messages. Somehow they still find a way to reach out to me though

[@KatieAwake999]

Armani Jack thank you! It is my first year doing things how I choose (just enjoying time with my husband)

[@WindWipper]

@@armanijack2927 Never rec'vd texts or emails but i sure changed my phone number multiple times.

[@conversacionesconmipadre]

I really, really hope you're doing well. We all would love it if you post more videos. We miss you!

[@maryschermerhorn6678]

THANK YOU, Tom, you alone have helped me understand my Mother's narcissistic personality disorder. I never understood the hatred she would continuously try to instill in me towards my sister. I couldn't get why she promised me "in secret" all her stocks 35 yrs ago. Why no unconditional love for her husband(s) or kids?? Why so Mean?? Etc. After I searched the internet looking for help / therapy-- l found YOU! There are many therapists speaking on the subject of npd but your testimonies of pain, abuse, and struggles you experienced in a family with a narcisistic mother hit the nail on the head. I am so sorry for all you endured at the hand of your horrid mother and uncle. Your messages broke my heart. Each of your tapes brought AH- ha moments for me and finally l was out of the fog--- l got it! I have been no contact for over 5 years and have healed more each day and truthfully feel more peace and joy and happiness in my heart and soul then ever before. Yes, some people don't understand but that is not my problem. A huge weight was lifted off of me when I went no contact and it just gets better and better all the time. I can breathe. My brother, The Golden Child is 60 years old I am 70 years old. Our mother (91 years old) is going through a time of major narcissistic rage. And Tom, you are so right when you said that a narcissist does not mellow with age!!!! She has recently gone into some crazy narcissistic rage episodes causing my bro to be publicly humiliated and brought to tears. He is the golden child (a grown man) and the only one who was to inherit her "carrot." NOW....she has given him the ax. All her $tuff will not be his after all. She is going to give it all to the Boys Town charity. I guess she's trying to buy her way into heaven. Also -@ the same time- she is demonstrating her cruel hatred for my brother who has been there for her for many years. I searched the internet for help and understanding of the hatefulness of my mom towatd me after she took away my inheritance of her stocks. She had promised me the stocks shortly after I was married some 35 years before she took them away. After watching and listening to your tapes I realized it was her carrot used to manipulate me through all those years of my marriage. She used the promise of an inheritance as her way to control me. Thank you, Tom, for shedding LIGHT on narcissistic abuse. I felt like a fool for not "getting it" sooner but better late than never. God Bless you with peace and joy in your life!

[@ba6703]

Hi Tom, not sure if you'll see this, but I wanted to say a few years ago your videos really helped me go no contact with my narc family, and I do believe that was in the best interests of my wife and kids. Thank you. I see you've been inactive for over a year, so I hope all is ok with you.

[@SomeOne-il9kl]

Nice I did the same. My kids deserve better as does my wife. For me I am better for them without the dementor. My sister said in relation to my mother she is the dementor from Harry Potter, that was a revelation for me, that is when I looked up and understood the term narcist. I found Thermantrees (who interestingly posted above) and his videos gave me perspective, more recently these also epic videos.

[@DSWH072869]

I would like to see some 2021 videos :)

[@lorrainedettbarn9384]

Thankyou I left the country and after 19years got off the plane went straight to my mum's house and was told your sister's are upset with your gossiping. WHAT. I Stayed a few days changed my airline ticket and returned home without a word.

[@KrystalLioness]

You go girl! 😄

[@LoriCor-]

I made the mistake of returning too. I should have done what you did. I am trying to correct that, now.

[@LimitlessThinker]

I've been thru that. I would travel hundreds of miles to end up leaving early when they started the drama.

[@kimmyj1512]

Wow, I had a similar experience - moved back after 20 yrs abroad (visited every few). Wow, they figure they've finally caught you in their web, let the attacks begin... Ha, now I'm gone for good.

[@bonniejohnson760]

I'm saving money and with the help of my Attorney, I'm waiting for my trust fund monies to get freed up then afterwards, I will move out of Toledo, Ohio were I'm currently living and moving out of the city and state as far as I can. Nope, I will not spend the holidays with my family of origin ( To much drama, fighting and backbiting) and with me being the appointed scapegoat, it would not be wise to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas or any kind of Family Function with my so called family and I have to do this in order to keep my sanity intact. What I do is I invite people over the Holidays who would not otherwise have a place to go. People who are in similar situations with their families such as I have and I invite ppl. over who are very poor and indigent. My Moto for the Holidays is that I give to the needy and not the greedy and with this quote, I practice that in my every day living.

[@m.f.richardson1602]

It is Not worth it. I've been NO CONTACT.

[@zofiajaneczek184]

My 4th Christmas with no family and former friends! NC is a lifesaver! Yes, true, it is not worth it at all.

[@bonniejohnson760]

@@zofiajaneczek184 You Go Girl !!!!! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !!!!!! 🤗😀

[@rwdchannel2901]

Best holidays ever have been when in no contact.

[@SoapsLuvr]

Where is Tom? Miss your videos brother. God bless

[@m.f.richardson1602]

Me too. I cruse through thinking I missed something 😔

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

Yes it is about people pleasing too that's for sure.

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

But we still have our moments. That's for sure.

[@KJKali]

I miss you. I hope you are well but fear you are not. You helped me so, so much. You are the most compassionate person who truly understands and articulates what we have been through. I wish you well and hope one day you will feel able to post a brief update just to say goodbye and let us know how you are. Your videos are an enduring legacy that so many of us continue to benefit from. Thank you Tom. Lots of love 💕 (p.s. you look like Robert DeNiro!).

[@bebop54]

blessings out to you ...

[@slowroastedmarshmallow9226]

I had watched his videos 4 -5 years ago, and they really helped me make the Decision to go No Contact w my Narc oldest brother. It has now been 4 years and Best. Decision. Ever! Where is Tom? Hope and Pray, now that I have found the channel again, OK. He deserves All the Best!!

[@Amy.Munson34]

Miss you Tom :(

[@saratanartist]

Dear Tom, I hope you are okay. Hope you're staying safe and well. you've helped so many people - Please let us know if you need anything.

[@Yada_EL]

great info good sir appreciate you...

[@no-grumpy-old-men]

Hello from New Zealand. I keep looking out for new videos from you. Are you ok? I hope you are well.

[@growingandlearning164]

Another lady from NZ here.Covert Narc Mother ,Covert N ex H .

[@newbeginnings313]

Hello, just checking in to see how you are doing. I hope you are doing well. I revisited some of your videos again. Many I wish I had listened to earlier. You are helping many people. Thank you for all of these videos.

[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

I find anyone that puts up with the narcissist contemptible. This is why I do not like the even sitting at a table with people that accept their behavior. These people very well maybe decent in and of themselves but the fact that they accept the narcissist discredits them for me.

[@di-6895]

Hi, guys! Hope you are all fine. Does anyone know if Tom is ok? I guess if the donations are not allowed anymore, I am worried the worst could have happened. Og, God, Tom has helped so, so much! He was the first I listened about narcissism, and up to now, the only one who does this with compassion, care and intelligence. I am so sad, I miss hima lot, hope he is doing well, but I don't know,

[@suzypenguin]

This is the first Christmas since my brother died unexpectedly at 59. My parents passed over the last 8 years. Now I’m finally free of their controlling behavior and negativity. I wasn’t invited to my cousin’s for holidays all this time (due to them having my brother there and not wanting him to get upset), so it’s weird going over there now. Don’t feel like I have family anymore. Feel a little guilty over being no contact the last 16 months of my brother’s life, but I couldn’t stand his narcissism and nastiness anymore. God bless you and everyone going through this. ❤️

[@KrystalLioness]

I'm waiting for that day too

[@daughterofgodwarriorofchrist17]

Dont feel guilty for one minute, it was him pushing you away not the other way around, you did the right thing

[@annettehunter9743]

Try not to feel guilty. Some brothers don't behave as brothers should. My brother is abusive. He turned out just like my dad. I avoid him now after his last verbal attack 2 christmases ago. I know i wont interact with him again. We have to protect ourselves and just because they get sick does not nullify their abuse. People die as they live so these types don't apologise on their death beds. You did the right thing staying away.

[@suzypenguin]

Daughter of God Warrior of Christ Thank you so much my dear sister in Christ!

[@suzypenguin]

Annette Hunter Thank you so much. I’m sorry you also have had to deal with an abusive brother. After my mother died I saw him at the trustee’s office as we were there to sign paperwork. I merely said hello and he started yelling at me and being awful. I was shaking and crying after that and people would just make excuses for him because of his illness. That was the last time I ever saw him in person. A bad memory.

[@honeygoy2224]

I'm wishing you Peace.

[@TheMaggie239]

Hi Honey Badger, have you heard from Tom? No updates on his Go Fund Me page and no updates here.

[@honeygoy2224]

@@TheMaggie239 Hey hay Carey. No, I haven't heard from him. I hope he's alright.

[@honeygoy2224]

Tom? Dear? No pressure, thinking of you and hoping you are well. From: several big fans.

[@WindWipper]

Have a very blessed Christmas, Tom. So glad to see & hear you feeling better. Cheers!

[@moonlightlady9703]

Hi, NS, how are you these days??? Haven't heard from you for a while.

[@Rose-dl6xg]

Hi Tom. Hope your doing well I miss you and the videos you made. Haven't seen any in awhile. Hope you'll feel moved to make another one soon. Many folks have been growing in amazing ways with all the important knowledge out there about narcissisim. I think many narcissist are getting left in the dust. Folks may be lonelier by getting the narcs out of their lives, but are also getting a chance to heal at their own pace. God Bless You Tom!! 🙏☺💞

[@phonecoladycris5929]

Hi Tom, please let us know that you are okay. Just a quick hello. I can see by the notes that many of us are worried about you. Bless you!

[@josseton9435]

I agree, I keep checking to see if anything new posted, but nothing. He has MS and I am beginning to fear the worst.

[@bebop54]

@@josseton9435 the news is heartbreaking .....blessings to you ...

[@josseton9435]

@@bebop54 Thank you for telling me, it is terrible. I will miss his wisdom, experience and hope. God bless you.

[@Amy.Munson34]

@@bebop54 whats the news?? 💔💔

[@ShireWitch]

Checking how you're doing Tom. I hope you're ok 🙂

[@blank3097]

hey dude, thank you for making videos .

[@classyone932]

I'm just over one year no contact. Thank you for all your encouraging videos that helped me & others i sent them to tremendously. God bless.

[@libertycan6959]

Dear Tom THANK YOU...about 6 years ago at the tip of my awakening your videos were the first ones that sent me on the journey to see these efforts in my life by those the most closest to me. Changed my life and I finally had the answer to the missing pieces. It's a long journey and difficult but better to know and not be subjected to it. Thank you! Sincerely, Scapegoat

[@LimitlessThinker]

I have spent the last 10 years with no people for the holidays. Looking back, I tried so hard to get along. I realize that no matter what I would have done, it never mattered. Great to see you Tom! I hope you have a fantastic holiday season. I wish that for all here. I know many are still dealing with this very issue. ❤❤❤

[@samphazm]

Dear Tom, I’ve been hoping you’re okay in these difficult times. Take care and keep safe

[@laurar.2866]

I have been wondering if Tom is OK too. I hope we may know something about him soon.

[@samphazm]

Laura R. I’m back here to see if Tom’s ok.. I do hope so. He’s given so much to us with these videos. If you’re out there Tom, know that you’re loved and missed.

[@c.monceaux9508]

🎁🎄♥️🍀 Luckily for me, my sister and I have overcome triangulation and have an understanding of covert narcissism. We support each other and can actually laugh at attempts to manipulate, control or embarrass. It can still be draining ofcourse.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

My sister and I never overcame the triangulation. My parents drove her to suicide rather than let us overcome the triangulation. I hope you appreciate what you have.

[@ziiineb9037]

Does anyone knows where is he?? It has been 7 months since he didn't uploaded!!!! I hope he's doing okay

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

After the 11 time of not being invited to holidays I woke up! I was never kicked out of the house in the holiday it would be when holiday was all over!!!! Everyone goes home right. Well before the next year x mas holiday my parents would find something to not invite me.

[@jasoness]

Merry Christmas Tom!

[@selfesteem3447]

Hey are you okay ? Just checking bc it’s been a year since your last vid post ✌️🤜 You’re my BROTHER💛

[@cc967]

Tom, over the years, you have helped me more than you will ever know. At 60, I am still healing, but I finally realize that my NPD mother can no longer control any part of me.

[@patriciasimons1873]

It's so nice to have you back. Everything you talked about is what's going on in my life right now but I am going no contact. Thank you for your validation I really needed to hear this today and I hope you have a wonderful holiday

[@LimitlessThinker]

Agree!

[@fidelinafranco2144]

Thank you for your videos my friend yes I too was struggling with this but I am so blessed that my husband keeps me grounded he reminded me not to open that door and so did my siblings I feel bad that she’s going to be all alone for the holidays now that my father has passed but I will refuse to put myself through that hell again or my husband or my children have a blessed Christmas my friend. It also helps me to remember that she’s alone for a reason and maybe that’s the best for everyone

[@Amy.Munson34]

Are you okay Tom? We miss you and your amazing videos 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you so much for sharing your life and struggles with us.

[@mrsk6999]

Does anyone know if he's ok? :(

[@elleeme9451]

I know what it is like to be debilitated by depression due to being raised by a narcissistic family and from abuse. It messes with your self esteem and your psyche, it's like a spell they put on you. Because of this I just want to urge you to keep making videos because I think that it will keep you out of that pit. I need to find something like this for myself too. Doing something like this keeps us connected with people and keeps us connected with our feelings and the truth. Be strong my friend. To anyone watching/reading this, the holidays are a facade of happiness, if they are about anything then they are about love and helping others. Go and volunteer with a charity if you are feeling disconnected this holiday season, or just give some time to a person you see sleeping out on the streets.

[@KatieAwake999]

EllE EME I’m struggling daily with the depression curse from the abuse - I love your advice to go volunteer somewhere. Bless you! ❤️

[@KrystalLioness]

I think helping a person on the streets is a great idea.😊 Volunteering could be wonderful but we have to be careful not to get into similar situations (narcs are drawn to charitable causes.)

[@LimitlessThinker]

Some are suffering from CPtsd and may find it hard to go out in public. If it triggers some to be with people, at least get out and do something that contributes to self care, like a walk in nature.

[@annicks7385]

Yes . I had depression for many years and being away from my mother totally helped me overcome . She was verbally and emotionally abusing me and it was difficult to escape her

[@elleeme9451]

@@KrystalLioness I totally agree. I have fallen foul to that a few times.

[@JB-ox7ib]

Just discovered this channel. Where are you Tom? 🥺🙏🌟

[@nancymc]

Thank you so much. 💓

[@danabaker996]

Missing your videos. How are you?

[@wendiwestenburg6052]

It gets better later 🙂

[@hologramtherapy21]

You are a great youtuber. Ive been gone for a few years come back and see you with recent videos. Thank you for still being here.

[@luanabandeira-haag6031]

Hi, Tom! I've been so blessed by your videos since the beginning of my healing journey! Hope you're doing well and thriving! May God bless you and protect you! I wish you peace!

[@aatikahcarmenhappy3494]

Hope you are well and safe and well in these times

[@monalungershausen8567]

Hi Tom, hope you are well, please let us know if you are in need of anything. ❤️

[@anthony5335]

Happy holidays Tom, I hope you are well. Thank you so much for your work man. It's very helpful.

[@yolandazabek8869]

Thank you so very much for your honesty and sharing your feelings. I am so sorry you were shaky. I am just learning how damaging having a narcissistic mother is. We will NEVER get their love and acceptance. Keep up the great work! I wish you much healing and peace🙂