The Most Chaotic Patient Duty Moments | House M.D.

[@FizzyFizze]

That little smirk when he saw the lady use her inhaler incorrectly. He knew he was going to have fun with this one

[@toasterbath6997]

Yupp

[@emilydunnam1314]

Oh come on I have asthma and I know how to use an inhaler correctly

[@indigothecat]

One of my favorite scenes in the whole series honestly. I burst out laughing the first time I saw it. Was not expecting the perfume application.

[@dmanlip]

the man was handed a gift.

[@Rockneda]

🤣🤣🤣 using it like Perfume

[@GeorgeKizzle93]

"Do I look like an idiot?" Is the riskiest question to ask this man.

[@daveed2702]

Pretty sure when she saw her use the inhaler like that, he probably roasted the life outta her which is why she left saying,”jerk”

[@Geniusignotus]

@@daveed2702 Brilliant, Holmes

[@Andrew-ls5ks]

Yup

[@MrMr-ed2rg]

I would of said you look as smart as Jill from jack and Jill by Adam sandler

[@cygnustsp]

I don't laugh out loud very often but that one did the trick

[@Timeward76]

House's reaction to the self-circumcision is one of his few genuine shock reactions in the show

[@lizanna6390]

Can't blame him, that's definitely one of the dumbest things ever

[@ezg8448]

@@lizanna6390 - Keep on living and let the human race surprise you.

[@EhCanadianGamer]

I mean. It wasn’t that surprising for him to react like that. I have no problem with visible gore but relating to genitalia? Yeah that’s more likely to shock me.

[@jadedaugherty6119]

Not gonna lie, it's that exact expression in the thumb nail that made my click this video 😂

[@IAmADragonHearMeRoar]

I’m not surprised that someone would be stupid enough to try and circumcise themselves, but I am incredibly disappointed.

[@diamondwhite3908]

“You don’t like to swallow. Not surprised” I haven’t watched in a while but that one caught me off guard. These writers were in beast mode with this show

[@Some_One_One]

I caught that too and immediately came to the comments searching for a reaction to that part.

[@vladimirhorowitz]

I know, and they wouldn't be allowed to make half these jokes today unfortunately. Especially the one about the "smartest chopstick in the drawer."

[@keithstone8693]

@@Some_One_One Same lmao

[@DarikZoster]

Can you explain?

[@allenharper2928]

@RAGAN How so? Censorship advocate?

[@Tony-hv8wz]

I love House's reaction when the guy drops his pants. I believe that's like the only time he actually reacted in a frightened way about anything he saw.

[@toasterbath6997]

Lmao

[@wickedwitchoftheeast88]

Lets be honest who wouldn't freak out seeing a DIY circumcision done with boxcutters? I'm a woman and that freaked me out so god only knows what a guy must think when confronted with that sight!! 😱😱🙈🙈🤣🤣

[@shioriryukaze]

It makes me wonder if that was actually his first time seeing it?

[@StealthMode3924]

@@shioriryukaze I think he was also wondering how the man wasn’t on the floor in pain, with his eyes squeezed shut and clutching his junk. Sounds excruciating. Before anyone gets triggered by my comment and jumps down my throat to say “It’s just a TV show.” I am commenting on the storyline of a man who did a DIY circumcision.

[@Brittaney1300]

You should see the episode where the paitwnt was declared deceased but during an autopsy woke up. House and Forman was shocked and scared as heck.

[@SirUntouchable]

I love how they don't even show House insulting the lady with the inhaler. Just the aftermath. You just know it's a roast marathon waiting to happen.

[@giantrobby5050]

That three seconds between her showing him and the scene cut gave me all the relief I needed

[@vimtocat1741]

his smile said it all I kinda wish we saw what he said

[@AlinaTowers]

Insults would have been anticlimactic.

[@resurrectionist1]

I think he just laughed his ass off. I couldn't keep a straight face when she sprayed her inhaler

[@trudycolborne2371]

The obvious reply "well now you do". She did ask if she looked like an idiot.

[@L3SSTH4NL33T]

Patient: "Do I look like an idiot?" House: visible restraint

[@raven4k998]

well not everyone can handle a zipper

[@JDMatthias]

newman!

[@raven4k998]

@@JDMatthias a new man are you sure it wasn't a new woman you can go either way depending on how much damage was done and they don't show or say house could have been meaning a new woman you never know he might have been messing with the patient he does tend to do that a lot through out the series 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@zacharyzerbe228]

I work as an emt the stupid is real

[@mrspicolli]

He didn’t show restraint. He showed obvious ridicule and amusement. That’s the joke

[@Jayli0]

I’ve always loved when patients think they can withhold information and House deciphers them like a 1st grade puzzle.

[@dethray1000]

its a tv show,not real--the writers and actors make it happen

[@persona3rulez]

@@dethray1000 you don't say

[@doctornsilver3882]

@@dethray1000 nooo. really? who knew? I thought it was real!

[@LCFNTF]

​@@dethray1000 dang, I never knew!

[@nerfblaster-pe3oo]

@@dethray1000 r/wooosh

[@leslyfallen9833]

The lady using the inhaler like a perfume gets me every time XD

[@maggoteater2290]

Lesly Cantu do i look stupid ?

[@I_am16]

That shit was hilarious..Got me weak at the knees xD

[@deqnq1705]

I bet the clinic didn't explain how to use it as like a joke

[@brendanbarry4802]

I nearly had an asthma attack from laughing at her!

[@mikemesser4326]

I nearly passed out laughing at her. I wonder what that says about MY health... Oh well, at least I have a healthy sense of humor.

[@MrJustonemorevoice]

House has seen a man's eyeball spontaneously explode. He was absolutely horrified at the guy's self-circumcision.

[@elladiangelo1277]

Well to be fair that was a fever dream, and I'm pretty sure it wasnt him that saw it but maybe chase?

[@linkswords10]

@@elladiangelo1277 i remember seeing that on tv as a kid and it traumatized me lmfao I wish I knew it was a fever dream I thought it was a real thing that could happen lmaoo

[@detectivesnickers6176]

I think it was actually Chase and Foreman that saw the dudes eye pop out

[@mac1991seth]

@@detectivesnickers6176 It was House's fever dream so I guess he probably saw it happen 'godlike' narrator style. You know. Like a pair of eyes watching over the room.

[@toasterbath6997]

Ikr

[@scottmatheson3346]

"I got some boxcutters, and, um ..." Words you never want to hear.

[@stetsonherrick8090]

Given the context, it's a real good contender. That said, I might dare to say "Ben has control of Alien X." is still the top spot.

[@alexsm3882]

Gus Fring in therapy

[@thefalcon534]

@@stetsonherrick8090 this comment is underrated. i dont want ben being omnipotent.

[@crackwitz]

emergency rooms hear that phrase regularly. oh the giddy anticipation of what follows the phrase...

[@abdulqadirsyed7828]

So the guys who hijacked the plane on 911 2001 were going to circumcise the pilots 🤣

[@nl5828]

Patient to House: "Jerk" Cuddy: "What was that all about?" House: "Jamaican chicken recipes" HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[@iriegomez9711]

I had to watch that part acouple times over it was so funny 😭

[@quebrandomitos5910]

Didn’t get it

[@frozenvolf4327]

@@quebrandomitos5910 Because Chicken can made into Jerky, not just Beef.

[@meatbot.404]

@@frozenvolf4327 think it’s actually referring to “jerk chicken”, a Jamaican dish

[@leafruns7672]

Just had to let you know, that flew right over my head till you pointed out it was, in fact, all the same joke. Thanks, you made me laugh harder

[@magnusm4]

Love how he's the Sherlock Holmes of medicine. Deduces people from subtle clues on observation.

[@toasterbath6997]

Agreed :)

[@51stcenturygirl]

Well, since Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes was based on the real doctor he knew, it just goes full circle 😎

[@catsandalcohol99]

Holmes = House. Did it on purpose

[@MattPuxty]

+ his assistant James Wilson (John Watson)

[@ThaFuzzwood]

@@MattPuxty + the address they share, I believe it is a nod to 221B baker street.

[@viasander]

“This is Vicodin, it’s mine, no you can’t have any it’s mine”

[@marlonrando9272]

Liv Sander well you butchered the quote.

[@EhCanadianGamer]

Would say the same thing. Same with cigarettes.

[@reiddylans8895]

That line wouldn't go over well for me at the family gatherings. Share or say you're out.

[@mztweety1374]

I feel the same way about my Norco I don't use nearly as much though

[@DemonsRun87]

Which episode is that line from?

[@roxypoxymoxy2324]

When that asthma lady demonstrated the inhaler I could hear House saying "Not an idiot at all" 😂😂

[@trudycolborne2371]

I imagined him saying "well now you do".

[@ricksaburai]

"You might not look like an idiot, but then again I don't look like a doctor"

[@toasterbath6997]

Lmaoo

[@jim2245]

also doubles as Armani perfume

[@Blu_Brain0085]

Being a lifelong asthma patient, I'd feel compelled to do my own line of insults as well.

[@darthnovii]

As a cat owner and lover, I died laughing at the bag and river joke.

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

I didn’t get it until this comment lol

[@shintaroozaro153]

Ahhh so thats what that means! Hahaha i know someone did that thing

[@shintaroozaro153]

@@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil same

[@mcwane1360]

Long time ago ,,Red Skelton said a joke ,, similar.. His brother taught him to swim.. The hard part was getting out of the burlap bag..!!

[@johnbenfield2762]

GreT lol by

[@lawrencem6945]

Bleeding crotch “Well it’s not lupus”

[@magno172]

@Nate Macrae Except that one time it was lupus.

[@bunniesanchez4965]

I don't get it

[@magno172]

@@bunniesanchez4965 as long as you are aware that it's not lupus, you don't need to get it. any other concerns, go ask google for help.

[@lhaviland8602]

But what if it is tho?

[@bunniesanchez4965]

@@magno172 jerk

[@facelesss9921]

"you don't like to swallow, not surprised." house got no chills 😹😹

[@kara_thewolf7518]

Faceless S99 now I get it.

[@kara_thewolf7518]

Eric Miret it’s an adult joke. What she doesn’t swallow is a liquid in make and female genitalia, it’s opaque and starts with the letter S.

[@facelesss9921]

@@kara_thewolf7518 you went all in. 🖐😹😹

[@TH3L3G3ND]

Kara theWolf2 semen?

[@MayurKoitiya]

@Uncle Crispy 😂😂 nope orange juice

[@lionguy4107]

"I'm gonna... get a plastic surgeon. Get the twinkie back in the wrapper." laughing hysterically at this

[@memesfromdeepspace1075]

Poor guy . I Will suprise he still can 😱

[@jkblohm9899]

House’s sheer shock is something rarely seen on this show.

[@A9Shows]

@MrWereverforever Must be a follower of Dwight Kurt Shrute

[@paulcolburn3855]

Just like Abraham did it

[@AnAmerican846]

I loved how he gave $50 to anyone willing to leave, including an older dude who could have tuberculosis.

[@InsanityVirus]

7:19 that smile 😆 I think he genuinely loved that someone was that stupid, just so he could go ALL out

[@raven4k998]

you gotta love that about this world people that are that silly wondering why the meds don't work when used incorrectly🤣

[@jefftraboulsy8631]

To be fair, that lady is NEXT LEVEL STUPID. I refuse to believe anyone that idiotic actually exists.

[@homahashime9137]

You know when you're honest to House he's actually really nice to you.

[@rambo8863]

Homa Hashime House finger and stomp in bag, Saw Them off 10 minuts ago, can you fix it?

[@Horny_Fruit_Flies]

Except he assumes you're never honest.

[@ckeekyzekey]

Yeah. I was surprised that he smiled at the inhaler lady like that. I thought he hated ignorance. I guess it was innocence in this case. I think he hates stupidity more than anything. Knowing what you're doing is wrong and still doing it as opposed to doing something wrong and not knowing what's wrong with it.

[@netsuad]

@@ckeekyzekey House didnt smile because the lady wasnt lying to him, he smiled because she just proved to him shes an idiot, giving him an excuse say some probably very blunt things to her about how to use that inhaler.

[@MsValiG]

@@ckeekyzekey she called him a jerk..I guarantee he thought she is stupid and let her know it

[@noorussabah9179]

The inhaler lady has me losing my shit. My cousin has this nanny we are all super close to and she has asthma as well. It developed recently. And we got her the inhaler and sent her off for her holidays. When she came back, she said the inhaler didn't work for her and she threw it away. We did exactly what House and asked her to show us how she used it and you know what she did? Press the damn pump without taking off the damn cap. 🤧

[@socobun]

dis made my day 100% better

[@DrTel]

i did the same thing, only difference i was 8 years old, and never saw an inhaler before

[@smokinggun8418]

Nanny. Who watches for a child. And acts that stupid. Don't you afraid?

[@cezann1990]

I'm screaming 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@classicaldeb]

Hahahahahahaha!

[@geniusfollower]

"Baby elephant is actually a good answer. B is a "bear" of a letter." God, I miss this show.

[@danterik9781]

Bee is a bear of a letter*

[@cyphaborg6598]

@@danterik9781 House would remind you he said animals lol

[@Xeno455]

@@cyphaborg6598 Bees are animals.

[@NicoUnken]

Not gonna lie, I actually struggled to think of an animal, too. It's not a medical problem though, I'm just stupid.

[@buneter]

Gamer Raichu immediately I thought of beaver, bear, And then barracuda. I guess my mind is weird

[@mira12825]

I love how House gives the last guy the medicine knowing full well he's covered if the guy is stupid enough to take them since the patient didn't mention he had diabetes once, so it's not logged in the files.

[@dark_rit]

If that guy picked up the drugs after being told they could kill him I think he deserves the darwin award for being monumentally stupid.

[@jeanshortswag]

​@@dark_ritI think that was the goal for House. Contributing to natural selection 😂

[@Elthenar]

3:39 That's probably the only time House ever reacted with genuine shock and horror. I can only imagine what that guy did to his junk.

[@GamerGrovyle]

And he's so disturbed afterwards. He literally can't wait to get out of there.

[@cebruthius]

@@GamerGrovyle Google for "penile degloving"

[@starwarfan8342]

@@cebruthius I will not.

[@MilesLougheed]

@@cebruthius I know what each of those words are. Putting them together in the manner you just did should come with a warning.

[@phoenix20401]

home job circumcision, couldnt pay me to go near my bits with a box cutter!

[@jeffbezos1639]

House grabbing the third glove will always be hilarious

[@nameisnotimportant6219]

Why did he get a third one?

[@darkrain2493]

@@nameisnotimportant6219 He had a handful of patients tested with STD. At this point he was starting to get worried he will get himself infected just by how many he had to test or because he had to check an old lady which he got grossed out.

[@BraimosAI]

@@nameisnotimportant6219 For good luck

[@everythingfamily5683]

I was waiting on him to grab a 4th. House was gloving up big time!!

[@genxx2724]

He was going to use it as a condom.

[@aarongamingmontages9206]

Old lady: (In Chinese) "The cough medicine i took did not help " Teen girl: "She wants birth control pills"

[@pepijn23]

AaronGamingMontages I officialy diagnose her daughter with SAC. Stupid American Child.

[@Shendue]

Later on they come back in the same episode and he gets annoyed, so he talks to the lady in chinese, which he understands, telling her the daughter is pregnant.

[@danner253]

Ouch

[@Dirkoin]

@@Shenduefun fact, the language spoken is not actually called chinese, its called Mandarin

[@tuquoque7322]

@@Dirkoin Mandarin is referred to as Standard Chinese or just Chinese and it's the most common *dialect* of Chinese/Sinitic (Chinese is a language but Mandarin, Jin, Hakka, Yue and et cetera are dialects).

[@lovepeace5845]

Oh I love that ending. ‘If you lied to me and take the medication you’ll die.’ 😂House gets people to think pretty hard about simple issues, just be honest for a better life!

[@flipflopsandcarswaps1237]

"You don't like to swallow, not surprised."

[@amandalopez666]

Lance Vargas. U8

[@karolinabobrik2633]

Just to confirm...was that a 100percebt a dirty joke? Have been wondering about this for ages. I mean,it’s savage even for House

[@IMVUDressUp]

Karolina Bobrik yea it is

[@karolinabobrik2633]

IMVU Dress Up god damn ...

[@jagr06]

Yes Greg House is known to throw in some insulting subtle innuendos every now and then lol

[@gregorythomas333]

"You don't like to swallow...not surprised" "Get the Twinkee back in the wrapper" "Not the sharpest chopstick in the drawer"

[@cemreefe]

哪里哪里

[@shrekcucumber4115]

B is a bearable letter

[@rocks.and.soup.]

Lol house is on a roll

[@darrelljacobjr2120]

I was waiting for him to rattle off something in Mandarin to the mother and Really shock the daughter...lol.

[@alec-lewiswang5213]

"You two have a fun weekend"

[@RetirededKat]

"Ugh! Steroids? Isn't there something else you can give me?" "Well, if you live by the river, I've got a bag..."

[@scaredface347]

I don't get it

[@RetirededKat]

@@scaredface347 What do you think would happen if you put a cat in a bag, then threw the bag in a river?

[@free2saywhatever]

He gave her two options to control her allergies. She said she didn’t like taking pills or steroids so she asked if there was anything else she could do to control her allergies. He offered her a bag if she lived by the river - as in the only other way to control her allergies was to get rid of the cat.

[@silverblade357]

*gives lady some shaving cream and a razor*

[@mrsgamer9218]

@@silverblade357 you do know not everyone is allergic to cat hair? some are sllergic to their saliva, skin flakes etc. so the cream and razor might not help

[@InkAndPoet]

6:14 I love how the father was quick to tell his kid something like "let's take the money and get some Dayquil."

[@digit4lboycg]

Put some Tussin on it

[@anxiety_ridden_teen3249]

"Sore throat?" *paitent pulls magazine away to show blood at his croth area* "Well its not lupus"

[@cadanicade8739]

ASRGGHKJK

[@swisschris6480]

Its never Lupus

[@Hexanitrobenzene]

Went over my head... Could you explain ?

[@branlopgar]

@@Hexanitrobenzene It's a running joke that half of his diagnosis will inevitably suggest lupus, and since it never is, there the phrase "it's not lupus", except for that one time it actually was lupus...

[@diegoserrato4016]

*"Not the sharpest chopstick in the drawer, is she?"*

[@Kiwicat14]

The best part about this one is that the "na li na li" phrase she says after is used when responding to a compliment, usually to deflect a compliment so as to appear humble.

[@Yugiohfans11]

I love how the mom is smiling and laughing.

[@trayolphia5756]

This was an episode I must have missed...cos for some reason I was expecting house to break out the foreign language and speak fluently with the mum...all while the daughter goes deathly pale...

[@juanbuniva9841]

@@trayolphia5756 Me too man

[@greypilgrim228]

@@trayolphia5756 it's the same episode, the scene you're thinking of is later on when the two come back for a repeat prescription.

[@sophiehoskins5642]

“Name an animal that begins with B” “Baby elephant” “Don’t worry, B is a BEAR of a letter”

[@MrMr-ed2rg]

I BEARly understood that joke

[@mauz791]

Bee?

[@clo6178]

I mean the only one I could think of was baboon and litterally nothing else

[@Loosehead]

The Bollock-Brained Badger. Obvious.

[@827Drew]

Baboon would have been a good one. Also badger, bandicoot, barracuda, bat, beaver. I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

[@johnw8984]

"You don't swallow? I could have guessed." the best line house has ever delivered

[@t33nspirit3d]

Guy: *pulls pants down* House: *terrified*

[@jascrandom9855]

As far as i remember, that is the only time that House was visibly horrified.

[@MrMr-ed2rg]

House has seen dead body's and insides of people and didn't flinch That's got to be serious Or the horror of seeing another dudes dick being chopped off scared him

[@AnAmerican846]

It was like it was cut clean off.

[@trudycolborne2371]

@@AnAmerican846 Not clean off I bet. A box cutter plus pain and blood probably results in whatever a half attached, partially dried up, dangling bit of sadness would look like.

[@ijustwatchsomeyoutube2186]

Randall Park did that scene perfectly.

[@LockedIn_Tra]

Woman: “Jerk” Cuddy: “What was that all about?” House: “ Jamaican chicken recipe” 😂😂😂

[@karthikrox6310]

I love how witty he is, also likes at 420 xD

[@rysmith9433]

Sure Plausible Deniability

[@acay5722]

He said "Jamaican" instead of "She makin" ???? BRRRUHHHHHHH

[@maplelu9514]

He’s said that because Jamaicans have a chicken called Jerk Chicken 🐓

[@erikad5823]

@@karthikrox6310 right he is funny. I really love watching this show wish their were real doctors like him .lol

[@bobbimorse8460]

Patient: “Do i look like an idiot?” House’s mind: “I was doing SO WELL”

[@raven4k998]

if you live by the river I got a bag!

[@Gabu_]

One of my favorite House gags is how they play the Metroid teleport footage as if it was a game over.

[@musical_mindshyunnie]

“50$ anyone?” Me sick but poor takes it comes back next day

[@cearfarseer9725]

Sanders 2020. Lol.

[@mrbow50001]

That actually happened in an episode, House made them give the money back

[@syncringe1885]

My cousin... Uses it as his copay the next day

[@shutbadge663]

It's $50. The $ before the number. Pet peeve sorry.

[@syncringe1885]

@@shutbadge663 400$ would probably change your mind.

[@Billy_Herrington1969]

Grandpa: 'bout to die from tuberculosis House: 50$ to anyone who leaves right now Grandpa: It's free real estate

[@raven4k998]

just use some box cutters you'll be fine

[@thomaspurdy44]

Grandpa: *shrugs* Guess I’ll die

[@raven4k998]

@@thomaspurdy44 you do that grandpa

[@Ozzie143]

I wish house was real he could have saved billy… somehow.

[@4sythdude549]

$50 dollars is a lot in 1899 Dutch could use that money so that he can make a plan! Then Arthur and the gang can go to Tahiti!

[@l0kaltpsykf4ll34]

house: why dont you show me how your inhaler works lady: uses it as a perfume bottle house: *visible frustration*

[@brucedavis1803]

Get out of my clinic!

[@rooftopvoter3015]

house: why don't you show me how your inhaler works lady: uses it as a perfume bottle house: visible frustration House does mental ''facepalm.''

[@charadreemurr874]

House: internal screaming

[@Loken-dj7zw]

Specially after "do you think I'm an idiot?" LOL

[@shioriryukaze]

I paused the video. I've lived on this earth....a while.....there are moments of stupidity my face is like😶😶😶😐😐

[@about47t-rexes12]

The clinic duty segments are always my favorite, was a shame they became less common as the show went on

[@Ssylphie]

“Sore throat?” ... “Well it’s not Lupus.” GOD DAMMIT IT ISN’T LUPUS EVERYONE OFF THE LUPUS TRAIN.

[@madhatter9995]

Well that's what all the doctors told me... before they actually tested my ANA's.. yep they're sorry it's actually Lupus

[@shrineguard2778]

That magician guy was a Lupus patient

[@foljs5858]

Actually it was lupus on an episode

[@chupetaparamahboy]

it's ligma

[@827Drew]

It's never lupus. :D

[@justkeepscrolling296]

"baby elephant is actually a good awnser B is a *bear* of a letter" i cant breath

[@gracieamazing2076]

'Bee 🐝 is a bear 🐻 of an answer.'

[@bait5257]

Bee*

[@xbigdangofamileyx]

bruh i struggled to think of something too omg

[@deepsleep7822]

All I could think of was bull and buffalo.

[@DonMofet]

@@deepsleep7822 i got beaver

[@LunkovichTromofski]

House's reaction to the guy who to tried to circumcise himself is the best of all of these, purely because a shocked/horrified House is a rare sight indeed.

[@utuber1752]

This guy REALLY WANTED to get laid.

[@brey1720]

I need more reactions from Hugh Laurie like when he turned around to see the horror the patient caused himself 🤣

[@HunterXMoon]

"This is vicodin. It's mine. You can't have any." I miss this show XD XD XD XD

[@toothyluna4042]

Hunter's Moon dailymotion has some seasons to watch. im binging right now

[@SnappingTurtle801]

Reruns on H&I if you have that channel.

[@ringringbananarchy]

And Hilariously he actually does give one of the clinic patients one of his Vicodin later. The Orange Skinned guy with the bad back (not shown in these clips)

[@firelion7749]

2:50 house: “say as many animals as you can that begin with the letter B, go” Me: *2 seconds later* *”Banana”*

[@free2saywhatever]

Fire lion all I could think of is Bermuda shark. I’m in med school. 😑

[@OAKALLY]

Does bee count?

[@firelion7749]

OAKALLY 1401 maybe, it’s an insect tho

[@donsolos]

I went bee.... ughh... bat! then ummm... banana! Lmao

[@takuma7812]

@@firelion7749 Insects are animals. Its just a word we use to narrow down what type of animal it is. Just like mammals, fish, and birds are different types of animals.

[@betog.6229]

This proves House actually treats you rather well when you don't lie to him.

[@ririspearchucker4070]

..

[@abcde_ghijklmnopqrstuvwyxz2188]

The lady with the inhaler and "my pants tell you that I have diabetes?" Both got me 🤣

[@calaie9112]

I have Asthma. Seeing that lady spray her inhaler on her neck made me laugh. xD

[@gbtm_reyhana7538]

Sameee 😂😂😂😂

[@cooperknueven346]

It hurt me cuz I know how expensive those are.

[@earnestwilliams2049]

If memory serves inhalers have instructions on them

[@evilpunko-d2f]

spreading diseases from florida to cali

[@DTux5249]

It made me cringe

[@Invalid571]

The inhaler lady... 😂 How can you manage to use an inhaler wrong?

[@volrag]

You'd think the "Inhale" part of the name might give it away.

[@jacobshirley3457]

Apparently, this isn't an uncommon incident.

[@volrag]

I meant the "inhale" part of the name for the device called "inhaler". Similar to the function of a nebuliser, it creates a nebula, which is a cloud of gas.

[@user-qz2ld3vt2d]

2/3 of patients use it wrong...

[@jacobshirley3457]

Wait, what? Do you have a source, or personal experience?

[@Zeithri]

" _What are you doing?_ " " _Level 4_ " - Uuuh... No House, that's Metroid Zero Mission. It's one continuous world, no stages.

[@papi9305]

now i really want to know if they recorded that clip of the game themselves or found it somewhere

[@Zer0Ab1lity]

He's more than likely referring to the fourth area you get to.

[@xartecmana]

@@Zer0Ab1lity that most deffinetly is not the fourth area of the game, and those aren't metroid sound effects either.

[@TheNextDecade]

@@Zer0Ab1lity lmao hes in the very first area and no long beam. Only Stage 4 Im seeing is Stage 4 bullshit.

[@TheAkumuKing]

Neeeerrrd

[@BigFlopper350]

For the self circumcision, If House has that kind of reaction, then you know its bad.

[@cctomcat321]

*"You don't like to swallow? Not surprised..."* House burn

[@VanLee00]

Inquisitive Cameron what is he saying here? She doesn’t swallow which is why she is a lonely cat lady?

[@MrMr-ed2rg]

TrevorNever It's a sex joke

[@Alittlebitinteresting]

That inhaler one reminded me of a story a relative of mine told me, after she got her medical degree she did government health clinic work for a while to cover the cost of her schooling. One time she had a patient come in with their son who was crying because of a painful ear infection so she gave the woman some antibiotics and told her to give her son 1 a day. Lady comes back a few days later with the son who's in even more pain so my relative takes a look inside the kids ear and finds a bunch of pills stuffed inside. Never doubt the ignorance a person can have

[@asad9934]

Wow, poor kid, guess doctors should always explain some things

[@scottvelez3154]

This is why voting should not be a right but a privilege.

[@BL00DYR0S31]

Scott Velez From the way she stuffed the pills inside the kids ear I doubt she even knows where to go to vote In the first place. Heck I’m even questioning as to how shes lived this long with that level of stupidity.

[@LaughingOwlKiller]

@@scottvelez3154 yea..cause that would make everything better

[@RayoAtra]

@@scottvelez3154 no, this is why you should have an educated and not over stressed population, so their votes have quality.

[@arturs4024]

As a guy who has asthma, I laughed my ass off at the inhaler scene XD

[@NoobAmerican]

yes, because you need to have asthma to understand the joke.

[@NoobAmerican]

Please don't hate me. I'm not a dick but when a nigga sees an opportunity, he ceases it. Hope you get better soon :)

[@eyongation3824]

i don't think we need an asthma to understand the joke

[@SohiHien]

@@NoobAmerican Someone with the same issue as the joke would find it funnier then ones who don't. They can relate, where we can't. Also Asthma doesn't really have a cure, they won't get better lol.

[@mynewaccount2361]

@@NoobAmerican I appreciated your comment but *seize That was sad man

[@sirsir9665]

That smile that grew on Hous's face when he saw how the woman used the inhaler lol

[@diptimadan1461]

An actual conversation at the clinic I used to work at: Me: Sir, do you have any medical conditions, like diabetes or hypertension, for which you are on medications? Patient: No, absolutely not. I'm fit and fine. I eat only two small meals a day and walk 5 miles each day. Me: * looking at his chart which shows 15 years of poorly controlled diabetes and an old prescription for oral medicines from 5-7 years ago * Are you sure you don't have any medical condition? Take a minute and think about it, if you'd like. Patient: Yes, I don't have a condition. You doctors think you're so smart and you're condescending to the very people you're supposed to help! Me: Alright then. I'm going to start you on insulin- Patient: Oh, no need for that. I already take insulin; twice a day. Me: 😐 What do you take the insulin for? Patient: Weren't you listening? I have diabetes. Me: 😠

[@diptimadan1461]

@Jozi X you are right. We did send him for a psych evaluation the very same day.

[@ruzahel6287]

Or maybe he was so used to diabetes and insulin treatment as part of his lifestyle that he didn’t recall that it was a medical condition. I mean, I’ve made that mistake but I wasn’t as rude of course.

[@diptimadan1461]

@me myself I'm sorry that you cannot see the comment. I don't know if there's a glitch on KZbin's side because my friends and family can view my comment, I have been told. About your comment that Dipti Madan is a strange name; yes, I am from a country where English is not a first language. That being said, my entire schooling and medical education has been in the English language. The city where I live and work in is urban and has many people who are fluent in English. Although I admit that I have paraphrased the conversation to leave out the patient's name since patient confidentiality is of paramount importance. About

[@diptimadan1461]

@me myself I live and work in the same country I was born in (not an immigrant). The English language isn't exclusive to countries where it is the first language. Neither is medical care. Can you please be specific as to what it is that's bothering you about my comment/s?

[@diptimadan1461]

@me myself A. You have this wrong. I am not an immigrant. I'm an Indian, living in India. Born and educated in India. We speak English and we have many schools that teach their curriculum in English. B. Even if I were, I don't see why you should object to that. Does it offend you that I have a medical degree? Or do you feel that only English speaking countries are entitled to the language?

[@edencrocc7220]

7:00 _do I look like an idiot_ Nope ... *Show me how the inhaler works* _spray spray_ **Visible confusion**

[@Abbojnr]

"I have waited my entire career for an idiot like this,"

[@strlordx2198]

Lmao

[@SeeYaLove-lh3db]

Omg solo funny

[@markrayes2973]

😂😂 this show was awesome

[@fatidiot8211]

*Visible restraint* *

[@AdderTude]

3:39 That's probably the first time that House is legitimately horrified by what he's seeing.

[@archive881]

3:44 -Then directly after he is fascinated by the level of stupidity humans are capable of. 😄

[@jameskarg3240]

Its an automatic reflex for ANY guy to have seeing that. Damage down there is...soul-destroying

[@lilblondiebear]

0:54 I would've raised my hand, I'd love a doctor like House.

[@abdulrahmanahmed2915]

I was so confused when she said she goes through 1 inhaler a week until I saw her use it which had me dying😂

[@Sonicsgirl13]

Same!

[@toasterbath6997]

Same! As someone with asthma, oh no.

[@alexislane7034]

“Jerk” “What was that all about?” “Jamaican Chicken Recipes” Lol ok

[@r4yv3n]

“Well it’s not Lupus” *says House with disappointment

[@SPHG425]

raven beaulne It’s never Lupus.

[@ruby8065]

(paraphrased) Foreman: "You store pills in a lupus textbook?" House: "it's never lupus" This line was in universe consistent and house casually breaking the fourth wall

[@MysticPhoenix00]

3:39 best moment EVER, the most genuine shock on House’s face you’ll ever see

[@JHSmithmusic]

Patient: "i got some box cutters and....." House: "Abraham did it?" I can't stop laughing

[@saiken811]

I don't quite get that joke. Would you mind explaining?

[@tylisirn]

@@saiken811 House says "Just like Abraham did it." God told Abraham to circumcise himself as sign of the covenant. (Genesis 17:9 through 14)

[@toasterbath6997]

Lmaooo ohh

[@shioriryukaze]

What did house say in Hebrew?

[@voyagerwitch]

​@@shioriryukazenothing. that was yiddish.

[@thelazywhitedog6147]

the look on house's face when he sees the patient's DIY circumcision is priceless

[@aaronbarlow4376]

"Is there something else you can give me for my cat allergy?" "Well if you live by the river I have a bag" Lol

[@superchuck3259]

Just get rid of the mothers cat, but in House's preferred manner.

[@Camman010]

I pillowcase works just as well as a bag. Remember to put a few rocks in it as well. Don't use a microwave tho it leaves one hell of a mess.

[@mercury2095]

Does that mean he wanted her to throw the cat in the river ? Am l right ?

[@zaeroses1096]

@@mercury2095 yes

[@zaeroses1096]

that was definitely the funniest part I actually laughed out loud

[@rosson1983]

The on screen chemistry between Lisa Edelstein and Hugh Laurie was such a highlight for me in this series.

[@zyaicob]

Real sparks

[@MrBraddles3128]

That moment when you realise that the guy that gave himself a circumcision is the guy that impersonated Jim on ‘The Office’.

[@Alejandro_87]

And KimJong Un

[@MrBraddles3128]

I said Jim.

[@nickmcgowan6932]

KhAoz no he means the guy played kim jong un in a film

[@ellieoutnumbered1375]

Also the Dad from "Fresh off thr boat"

[@moroteseoinage]

KhAoz Randall Park!

[@viktorsilva4017]

"If you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this, this is vicodin, it's mine, you can't have any" *DUDE*

[@raquelsilva5999]

“It was my mother’s, Shes dead” “You keep.. a dead cat..?” “No-“

[@Nusentinsaino]

Raquel Filipa love the play on the words

[@Hero_of_Legend]

Funny enough, I actually do. I have a stuffed bobcat in my den. He's a good boy who only made one mistake in life: Not looking both ways before crossing the road. 18 lb cat vs a 1/2 ton truck isn't exactly a fair fight...

[@TheDeathLove]

@@Hero_of_Legend Are you okay buddy?

[@MrMr-ed2rg]

Huh poor cat

[@sundaysundayy]

@@Hero_of_Legend i preserve dead birds and mouses my cat gave me :)

[@thekamotodragon]

The writing for this was great: "B is a BEAR of a letter" lmao, dude said "baby elephant" and House managed to correct him and make commentary on his own request in the same sentence.

[@maniacmagge2568]

3:39 I think that's the first time I've heard him make a genuine sound like that

[@koushikbiswas395]

he's like what would've happened if sherlock went to medical school.....😀

[@Jayde419]

Well, House is based on Sherlock.

[@oneleafaday348]

And Sherlock was based on a doctor who was very observant and had incredible deduction skills

[@solomanyamin2876]

@@oneleafaday348 do you know who?

[@ZeroM80]

Holmes=House Watson=Wilson

[@donteprieto41]

@@ZeroM80 🤔

[@KoryFreak]

Oh, God, the first lady and her “could you give me anything else?” is my daily life as a doctor!! God!!

[@astro3878]

Damn I feel bad for you. I use to be the same, I was to scared to take pills. So I was that type of person for a year or so.

[@foolslayer9416]

Are you allowed to be as sassy as House?

[@KoryFreak]

Fool Slayer As if hahaha nope, to begin with... “the patient is always right” and if he/she’s not... well, puts a complain to the director and I’m fired ❤️

[@foolslayer9416]

@@KoryFreak I hate the "Patient is always right" idea. If that's the case, then what's the point of being their doctor in the first place?

[@KoryFreak]

Fool Slayer I work in a public hospital, I like my job ‘cause generally I work in the hospitalized alley (my daily life was more like Scrubs than House). But now, that the system is “overflowing”, the order from the hospital director is: all the doctors go to the boxes and see ambulatory patients 💀 I’m not gonna say all patients are like that, but there are more than a few that come to me thinking their illness is the most important thing in the ER and demand the treatments they googled just before coming. Or, like the lady in the video, they come in saying that the treatment sucks, that it doesn’t work, and you realize that is because they can’t follow instructions. Either way, the fault is always yours 🤷🏿‍♀️

[@Heather-xm9ul]

"Why don't you show me how your inhaler works." Some people really are that dumb, and it never fails to amaze me

[@madgamerboss2061]

“Not the sharpest chop stick" bruh that's disrespectful and funny 😂😂

[@anikiace2253]

all respect's out the window when the girl was lying and using her grandma as a cover.

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

Nice tree beta

[@stephenking5852]

Why does she think it’s called an “inhaler?”

[@RMJ1984]

I don't think he's too big on the whole "thinking" part.

[@jovanleon7]

So she can inhale the scent? Like a perfume?

[@trudycolborne2371]

You're not Stephen King. Well not that one anyhow.

[@actualwakandangirl7121]

House: “You sure you’re using it right?” Anna: “Do I look like an idiot?” Also Anna: Proceeds to spray inhaler like a perfume. House: 💭 “My point!”

[@ash_j_williams]

House: "Man do you perhaps know what the word 'inhale' means?"

[@whiteroseee10]

The self-circumcision scene still makes me lol every time I see House's reaction.

[@BarEscm]

The opening monologue is absolutely brilliant in writing and delivery. How many awards did the writers and Hugh Laurie win for this?

[@johnnyavalos9109]

Hugh Laurie, who portrays the title character, has been nominated for an award 38 times and won 14 awards.

[@rosenrot234]

I still love how almost all of these are based on real patients.

[@crackwitz]

I'm willing to bet they didn't have to invent a single one. that's probably not even a week's worth of one real clinic's patient files (most curious ones picked). in some bonus material they mentioned that they collected interesting medical cases to base episodes on. they had at least a handful of seasons worth of cases just waiting.

[@waaazzza93]

The clinic scenes were always my most favorite part about this series because of the amount of stupid he dealt with is an accurate representation depiction of what it's like to work in this line of work 😂#nojoke

[@nintendo6462]

Alyce Capek if our government would broadcast educational material on "symptoms" less people would go for a common cold.

[@TheSteinbitt]

And more people would come for everything else.

[@masterchief1992HHQ]

My favourite one was when House just got out of jail and the first guy he dealt with had the shoulder problem because he would lie on top of it all night

[@ChrisPBacon-xn9up]

Im sorry :(

[@WOGBOY]

whats being an escort got to do with a doctors office ?

[@ryderkreutzer8859]

"Do I look like an idiot" *proceeds to misuse the inhaler* her response was less then if I were house

[@BrewersPackers]

I facepalmed so hard after the inhaler clip that there may still be a hand print on my face next Thursday...

[@indarknessishine]

Still there after 8 months

[@vaandor1]

You should go have it checked... ;-)

[@mlgwolvesmeep]

6:52 *closes eyes* NaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixitNaturalselectionwillfixit

[@TheTriad001]

mlg wolves ...no it won't.

[@martalover17]

Hell yeah, Charles Darwin!

[@anjegoundar5614]

mlg wolves 😻

[@IAMHAPPY5290]

natural selection is fucking dead

Natural selection ONLY works if you produce no offspring. A lot of "not so bright" people have had kids before they fulfilled that LAST stupid act.

[@brennaseah8552]

So I have a senior who is a pharmacist. One day, he received a call... Patient: My inhaler stop working. Pharmacist: How do you use the inhaler? Patient: I spray it at my dog because it is the cause of my asthma.

[@imasinnerimasaint]

Oh God.

[@Luubelaar]

Frighteningly, this is actually common. People incorrectly using their inhalers is the most common reason for why "my asthma isn't getting any better". It's to the point that doctors I used to work for would get the patient to demonstrate using a sample inhaler before being sent off with the prescription.

[@Luubelaar]

@@_Ekaros - Never underestimate human stupidity.

[@coralMITOCHONDRIA]

Theant19 wait 70% of people don’t have a inner voice you mean?

[@coralMITOCHONDRIA]

Theant19 seriously? Wow that would suck..

[@markquigley1614]

7:18 Just love the expression he makes at the woman as if to say: “Oh, this is TOO good!”

[@michaelsong5555]

3:38 House has seen a lot, to the point that nothing surprised him anymore, and yet, we see him with that reaction... Yeah, Asian man, you f*cked up.

[@malayfellaz]

Michael Song his name is jim

[@michaelsong5555]

Who cares about his name?

[@knocknockify]

Michael Song Joke went right over your head

[@michaelsong5555]

Is that some sort of American joke? If so, of course I won't get it, since I'm not American.

[@malayfellaz]

Michael Song look for the office on Asian jim.

The scenes where House is in a white doctors coat (which he never wears), he is purposely being nice so he can look good in front of a businessman that has bought the hospital. The real House would have destroyed that lady with the inhaler right when she asked him, "do i look like an idiot?". Lool

[@Pankydoos]

isn't he doing it to win a bet? or is that a different clinic scene

[@mreminbayramov]

That's definitely not the first season which includes Vogler arc (businessman). I think he wanted to prove Wilson something about being nice to patients.

[@Volnorinox]

exactly

[@Emily-ro5ch]

InfiniteSupremacy has

[@Roxette2541]

InfiniteSupremacy it is from a bet, but between him and wilson not cuddy, anyway he was trying to prove him that he was able to be nice with patients

[@zeero62]

I'm always amazed how he can speak with an American Accent.

[@MikeOxlong1995]

I watched all 8 seasons before even realising he's English.. Sounds like 2 different people

[@staciecarrel4492]

When they were casting for the show the director was complaining about all the auditions with people that couldn’t pull off a generic American accent and lamenting the lack of local talent. Then Hugh Laurie walks in and starts talking and the director’s like “finally an American”. Though he was well known in England, the only thing I ever saw him in in the US prior to House was the original live action 101 Dalmatians (the one with Glenn Close). I didn’t realize it was him until well after House had begun and I saw the movie again.

[@jonah1077]

"not the sharpest chopstick in the drawer" "nali, nali" ("where, where" - a common response to compliments)

[@BottledWitch]

"Get your twinkie back in the wrapper" DYING

[@kiddfaith4397]

“Get the Twinkie back in the wrapper” 😂😂😂

[@jackgibsxxx0750]

He has the brain of a 7 day old.

[@elizabethescalante7866]

What did that guy do to himself?

[@kiddfaith4397]

Elizabeth Escalante Not sure, but I can make an assumption that he was slicing around the base of his foreskin when the end of his penis popped through the hole, and he was bleeding too much and in too much pain to continue; realizing it wasn’t as easy, safe or painless to do himself as he’d thought. Looking at penis anatomy, and the fact he was trying to circumcise himself, it’s the most likely explanation.

[@jackgibsxxx0750]

@@elizabethescalante7866 tried to circumcise himself. Did not go well.

[@coreythecasualoddity2734]

Me when he said that: hahaha... *start thinking about it Oh god

[@likestowalkthewalk33]

"You need to up your insulin to chocolate chip ice cream levels." Lmao!

[@animebrat76]

Mae McCord id up it to 11000 calories of sundae

[@Tejroe]

I've seen that intro clip dozens of times, but just now realized that when he says "I am a BORED certified diagnostician" he actually said 'board-certified'