How Can I Accept Anxiety Without Spiraling??? (Podcast Ep 263)

HOW CAN I ACCEPT OR ALLOW ANXIETY WITHOUT SPIRALING?
This week on The Anxious Truth let's answer a common question about "spiraling". This is a term used every day in our community so lets dismantle it a bit and re-conceptualize spiraling in two parts. One spiral - the downward spiral - is based on how you feel. The other spiral - the anxiety itself - is an UPWARD spiral, which is more accurately described as a storm.
Let's look at how we can address the first spiral by addressing the second - robbing the anxiety storm of its energy rather than feeding it more.
This episode is - as usual - full of paradoxical stuff. Isn't recovery both interesting and really confusing sometimes???
--
🎓 ANXIETY COURSES AND WORKSHOPS
learn.theanxioustruth.com
📚 MY BOOKS:
theanxioustruth.com/books
🔗 ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA AND OTHER LINKS:
theanxioustruth.com/links
💜 SUPPORT MY WORK BY BUYING MY BOOKS OR MERCHANDISE, OR MAKE A DONATION:
theanxioustruth.com/support
ℹ️ WHO AM I?
theanxioustruth.com/about
❓ WANT TO ASK ME A QUESTION?
theanxioustruth.com/ask/
🎵 Music Used on My Podcast: AfterGlow by Ben Drake (with permission)
bendrakemusic.com

[@Viola-vw6bj]

I’m past this in my recovery but I remember spiraling. Then one day I just let it be, I was tired of fighting and I thought for sure it was the “end” for me but it was actually the beginning of real recovery. Thanks for all you do in this community Drew

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Thanks for sharing this Viola. I appreciate it! :-)

[@SurrenderCrew]

We can do this everyone.!!! do the work and see the results unfold at its own time.. doing the work means "doing nothing".. you still will feel crappy and anxious AF , always about the process and never the symptoms and feelings..

[@user-om6wy7xl9i]

Thanks for this. I like the storm analogy. The fear of death and losing it, as you said, is so intense…..But you’re right, if we’re listening to this we HAVE come through this, and most probably numerous times when we were sure we were not going to make it. Light bulb moment !! 💡💛🙏💡💛🙏💡 You’re great at what you do

[@lozb1631]

I'm stuck with being in my head trying to work it all out when I know being out there abd living is where recovery begins. I don't feel present when out with friends or family as I'm still scanning my thoughts and feelings. Tough place to be stuck in

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Check the episode I just did in the last few weeks about the scanning loop. That's the thing where you get stuck in your head evaluating how you feel and then trying to figure out what to "do with it". You might find that helpful.

[@anaclarasantos5082]

After almost 2 years since I started watching your videos and now I am 100% recovery from panic disorder 🙏 you are a life saver! I’ll always be grateful ❤

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Wow! This is awesome! I know you worked hard at that so very well done. 😀

[@brittneywelch2186]

How did you get out? Started meds and everything and feel ick.

[@HereComesTheSmartAlec]

Acceptance is the key. You accept it, whatever it is, it drifts away. Its the backwards law.

[@HereComesTheSmartAlec]

It's why "time flies" when you're having a good time or fun. You're fully accepting what's happening, and the more you accept the moment the faster it seems to go. But work is a drag, because you resist what currently is. What you resist, persists.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

SO backwards!!!! That's one of the things that makes this such a hard lesson to teach sometimes.

[@alexreads]

Thank you for this, I am about to travel with my daughter and husband, and I am terrified, despite going only 100 km away! Hope I will manage!

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

That's the shift from "I made it" to "I did it". You always "make it". You always "manage". You just hate how it feels when you do that. xx

[@MC--nh7vx]

Man you are the best! I really feel you articulate the feeelngs o have had for many years. Thank you 🎉

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

You're welcome. I'm glad I can be helpful in some way. :-)

[@TransSpewMan]

I understand it I'm going through it.Great video.Trouble with me is my present self in the moment cant handle the past anxiety so what ever stage I get to I still have the whole episode to deal with which kicks it off again.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

One of the primary challenges in this thing is opening up to the possibility that "can't handle" isn't an absolute truth. It's very hard to take this type of approach to chronic/disordered anxiety while also insisting that we are incapable of handling our internal experiences. Those two things are almost perfectly diametrically opposed to one another. I'm not trying to minimize the experience here, but this is an important point. Virtually every recovered person had to at least consider this change in direction at some point.

[@machellebasley9209]

I like this description of anxiety as a storm.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I think it helps from a conceptual level. I'm glad you found it useful. xx

[@FoodieExplorerr]

Wow, this was one of the best videos I have watched on anxiety! Literally the best one ever. I don't even comment on KZbin videos, this is the second time I have ever commented. Thank you so much for this podcast. Please keep on making videos

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm glad you found it helpful! 🙂

[@oohellosaweenaoo]

Mr Drew you’ve make me cry again! I been following you for a long time, depend what device I use my sn changes lol But I need to hear this, it’s like I understand but I’m having a hard time putting into practice. I had to come back and re-listen to some of your old videos / podcast. I’ll be re-reading your book again. I feel like it’s different than what I encounter before, ( n yes all new fears is still one fear) it’s the add on grief, n stress losing weight from having anxiety made it more fearful to deal with anxiety because I don’t want to lose more weight. It’s like whole time I’m trying to ride the waves I can’t eat or anything. Im riding the wave but I haven’t accept it yet😢😢. It’s so hard I’m looking for a new therapist n the new med is making me feel wonkie, I’m so scared cuz I’m so underweight now, I’ve let anxiety take over and control my life again. 😢 But as always thanks for your content. Going back n listen to some actually made me understand n certain things actually made more sense than when I first listen to it back in the day. 🙏🏽❤bless u drew.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

When you notice a different level of understanding, that's a good clue that you are in fact learning and changing your point of view, which can inform those really difficult to take actions. xx

[@amyredding3838]

Thank you so so much for all you do. Its amazing to find someone offering advice to all and not just for monetary return. I wish I had come across you and your amazing podcasts earlier in my anxiety journey, I found my whole journey hard but most of all it was hard to find someone to help that wasnt just trying to make a quick dollar. I spent $5000+, in under 6 months, on all different people that wanted to "help" me, and in my desperation I kept handing over the money. I cant thank you enough and will support your wonderful work by purchasing your books for myself and close family whom also live with anxiety. Keep up the great work 💐

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Thank you for some very kind words. I do hope you find the books and all the material helpful and useful in some way.

[@Peterstevoli]

Thank you for the insight

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

You are very welcome. 🙂

[@JaxdaviesEJ27]

Love the episode but I did miss the music at the end 😅

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Me too! It's just hard to deal with KZbin and the automatic copyright thing. Even though Ben has explicitly given me written persmission to use Afterglow, KZbin doesn't care. Or at least the automatic copyright software doesn't care. LOL

[@alicel6095]

Great video

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm glad you found it useful! :-)

[@briang896]

Explained perfectly.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Thank you. Sometimes I'm not really sure if these are going to really make sense so I appreciate the feedback. :-)

[@cuecue4692]

Almost 1 year of tapering off of 10mg/day Valium makes this even more challenging. Im down to 1.5mg and I’m pushing through as hard as it is but my goal to be completely off this evil medication is almost done and I can fully start to experience healing more thoroughly without any crutches to lean on….

[@LudingtonBass]

Been there done that off Klonopin. It’s so rewarding to get that crap out of ur system. Be careful that u don’t expect everything to be fixed once ur taper is done. Will take time for ur body to heal from that poison, but stay strong and do the work and I promise you’ll recover fully.

[@cuecue4692]

@@LudingtonBass thank you for the encouraging words. I’m looking forward to being me again.

[@bwinkle2915]

How much of your anxiety would you attribute to breakthrough withdrawals between doses? Xanax 6mg/day down to 1mg.

[@cuecue4692]

@@bwinkle2915 I definitely have an adjustment period between taper reductions. Mine are more intense about the first week after I cut. You’re doing great! Keep it up.

[@bwinkle2915]

@@cuecue4692I’ve not been reducing this last year. What I wonder thought is if I move my dosage around and take most of my daily dosage earlier in the day, is it affecting me next day.

[@55tranquility]

its the weirdest thing and makes no logical sense - but the thing you want most in the world to stop, will stop when you stop wishing it would stop. So once you let it all happen, let the worst thing you fear happen - whatever it is, just allow it. Then you see it is the trying to make it stop thats the problem, and you instead just learn to work on just letting go, not doing anything to get rid of it - thats when you see change. let go over and over and over - it takes practise but it changes everything.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

It literally makes zero common sense! That's what makes this like the 7th or 8th choice the average person might make when trying to address an anxiety disorder. Almost any other approach seems to make more sense than this. You nailed it!

[@cassiesimmons4472]

i’m 34 weeks pregnant and struggling to overcome my anxiety. i’ve had it before i got pregnant but it got better when i took medicine but now im unable to take medication bc of my pregnancy. yesterday was a really scary day for me i had on ongoing impending doom panic attack and i kept spiraling my brain would not let go of the thoughts the feelings. no matter how hard i tried i tried to relax and stuff but i just idk. i’m logically smart and i know these things but it’s hard to put it into motion. i’m afraid of the feelings and feeling it

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

"I'm afraid of the feelings and feeling it" is a HUGE statement. The fact that you clearly recognize this and can state it this way is something not everyone can get their heads around so you get full credit for achieving this level of insight. Knowing doesn't fix things (as you can see), but without that, you can't go anywhere so do not sell yourself short. Everyone gets to the point where they are ready to let go and take the "risk" of allowing the feelings in their own way and in their own time. If you're not there yet, its not just you. Nobody hears this kind of information and just dives directly into panic the next day.

[@joannedonaruma55]

Another meaningful episode. Will feeling what you’re trying to control feed the fear and make it hard to do it again the next time the storm comes. It Feels better to control even though it’s uncomfortable .. but that’s white knuckling and is not teaching the brain to lessen the symptoms when triggered ?!?! Doing in spite of discomfort (with resistance) leaves one stuck. No ?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

When you let go of that control, you will likely feel more. I'd love to tell you otherwise, but you have to expect to feel the things to learn the things. Its that paradox. If you hang on tight you get that temporary sense of control and relief, but at the cost of living a life full of hanging on tightly all the time.

[@MrThingstodotoday]

I'm having a hard time not fighting so much. I've been practicing but I still have a hard time trying not to feel terrible during panic attacks.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Wait. You can stop trying to not feel terrible. Not fighting it. That's the target and that has nothing to do with not feeling terrible. Do not make the mistake of hoping that this is a magic technique for stopping a panic attack or making it feel different. That's not what this does.

[@MrThingstodotoday]

@@TheAnxiousTruth Gonna keep working on being ok with feeling terrible. Its hard but been working hard with going ragdoll!

[@liam.4454]

For me Ive not been doing it long but I've learned to accept that nervous/adrenaline kind of feeling, I used to try to numb it, but it would always come to the surface I feel a lot more confident but I'm little bit wired at times

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I get this! You're learning that its OK to feel wired without immediately trying to fix it or get away from it. I love that you're feeling more confident after working on this stuff. That's really good!

[@jenniferpeers6946]

Over exposed after years. Very busy area loud music. Lots of people. I wanted my book signed by Olympian Caster Semenya. 3 hr wait listened to her being interviewed. Totally out of my comfort zone in my bedroom. Overjoyed to meet and get book signed. Aftermath yesterday exhaustion, today the same. Been anxious since 2016. Isolated myself. Jumped in at the deep end I wanted it so much. Exhausted again this am. Did I mention I was 80? How long will this take to balance out again. Its scarey.😢

[@Delta-Snake]

Can you please do a episode on nightmares due to anxiety? How can I recover when I am having horrible nightmares where I am going insane and hurting others, suffering disease or stuck in hell? At one moment, I am sure my anxiety is gone, but then I fall back into the cycle due to nightmares. I almost get convinced by anxiety that my nightmares are future predictions and It would take me weeks to recover from that ptsd.. Then weeks later another nightmare will come

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm guessing you have been told repeatedly that dreams (yes, even nightmares) are not predictions. Am I correct in that assertion?

[@Delta-Snake]

@@TheAnxiousTruth yes!

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

So this is one of those things where if I were the first one to tell you that, it would be useful. But the reason I don't do often specific content on specific fears (dreams, nightmares, heart, breathing, dizzy, stomach, insanity) is that is often not helpful other than feeding the endless loop of soothing and reassuring. If I were to do a podcast episode on nightmares it would essentially be exactly what you are already hearing me say, just with the word "dreams/nightmares" inserted rather than some other fear or trigger.

[@Delta-Snake]

@@TheAnxiousTruth Oh, I understand. Also others might start fearing nightmares, and It will cause them to have nightmares. I remember hearing some anxiety symptoms I didn’t have, but after I heard about it, I started having those. So I will find another way or just accept it, Thanks!

[@Blissfulhealing333]

Thank you for this. I’m still convinced every time it’s something life threatening since I have real medical conditions, so even with medical conditions like I fear my throat is closing up bc of mcas. Is it best to accept it and not fight that? So kinda accept death in a sense?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I would not say "accept death" because that could be taken literally by people reading. Think of it is recognizing when your fear is driving to you try to control and plan for every possible detail and things that are beyond your control. There are certainly things that can and should be done to manage and accommodate medical conditions so are you doing those things? Excellent! Are you going well beyond that into areas that don't actually have any impact other than on your mental state? That becomes a problem. I hope this helps. xx

[@LudingtonBass]

I’m stuck at my recovery because my symptoms are muscle spasms and tension (stomach, diaphragm)that have become so physically painful and relentless that Makes it almost impossible for me to just ignore and let float by. Any physical movement makes them worse and aggravates them. Any suggestions on how to reduce this bodily problem. I’ve tried everything I can.

[@HereComesTheSmartAlec]

Remind yourself that just like good times, bad times cannot last. The pains will pass, they don't have a choice, and you'll still be there. Just accept that's what's happening, and go on about your day to the best of your ability. Before you notice you'll remind yourself you don't feel it as much, which I'm sure you've had that moment before. "Hey I just noticed I just did all those chores and haven't had any pain since this morning" you've made it through all your worst days, you can get through it all. You got this.

[@HereComesTheSmartAlec]

Also, if you haven't, I recommend getting Drew's books. They certainly helped me along with his videos.

[@lozb1631]

I'm similar in that I'm having constant neckache which I know I'm keeping it there by stressing about it, which is keeping me in this loop like yourself! Very frustrating

[@LudingtonBass]

Thank you so much for the advice and positive outlook. Ur right I almost wait for the pain to happen and then stop whatever I was doing because I relate it to DANGER. I can see what I’ve done. Just so hard to break the loop. ​@@HereComesTheSmartAlec

[@fivestarservices-euronics2278]

What’s you’re thoughts on the linden method ?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

My thoughts on that are not suitable for a family-friendly channel. There. I answered your question. ;-)

[@arkijun8304]

If i have anxiety attack, specifically, nervousness, cold feet, muscle aches and tension, while lying in bed, should i stay with the sensation while lying in bed and let it pass, or distract by walking or doing something, house chores, etc., isnt it avoiding if i do such things? Thank you

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Avoiding is based on intent. I WILL DO THIS TO MAKE IT STOP QUICKLY! That hints at avoidance. Instead, consider what you can or decide to do WHILE feeling what you feel. Bring it with you without trying to make it go away. Then it doesn't matter which choice you make in any given moment (laying down or walking around). Either way you want to work on handling those sensations and thoughts. This episode of "Disordered" might be helpful in explaining: www.disordered.fm/anxiety-recovery-is-distraction-a-good-plan-episode-021/

[@arkijun8304]

@@TheAnxiousTruth in staying laying down i keep feeling the sensation, whether i accept and allow, surrender to the sensation, i fall asleep, then when i wake up its still there. Should i just stand up and do something else? If i do, will it help me recover and later not feel, those symptoms again, in time?

[@RS48333]

My initial reaction to a symptom or sensation is fear, do i allow that fear to be or am i not supposed to have that fear?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

We never get to engineer away fear. That initial jolt of fear is built in. We can't prevent that. We work on what we do after that first shock of fear. Work on the second fear - adding fear to the fear - (HUGE credit to Claire Weekes for that term), not the first.

[@RS48333]

@@TheAnxiousTruth this makes so much sense to me. I was resisting the first fear now I will accept it. So its about accepting that first fear and the symptom correct?

[@allier.9193]

Is anxiety the same as panic disorder?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

This episode talks about that issue: kzbin.info/www/bejne/p6XUmniue86Ni8Usi=dnHQ__rKpVJyUmK_

[@allier.9193]

@@TheAnxiousTruth thank you so much your the best