Podcast EP 111: All Your Fears Are Only ONE Fear (June 2020)

You may think that you are afraid of an ever-growing list of places, tasks, people, and situations. You are not. There is only ONE FEAR driving your anxiety disorder - fear of how you feel and what you think. Acknowledging the one fear can clarify and simplify your recovery path so let’s talk about it.
For full show notes:
theanxioustruth.com/111
My books, podcast, and social media links:
theanxioustruth.com/links
Music Credit: Afterglow by Ben Drake w/Permission
bendrakemusic.com

[@iancoggeshall9057]

Drew this has been one of the most important things I’ve listened to since I developed a panic disorder. It’s frustrating because my own therapist is having a hard time understanding what is going on with me. I really appreciate your work and attention to detail on this topic.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Sometimes therapists with the best intentions that really want to help are just not well trained in this area. One excellent resource is a book by Martin Seif and Sally Winston called "What Every Therapist Needs To Know About Anxiety Disorders". I'm not going to be so bold as to give your therapist professional advice or to second guess them, but if they are struggling with you, that book might prove helpful. This stuff is super counter-intuitive, especially for therapists or counselors that conceptualize anxiety or fear as always a sign of some underlying issue or problem to solve. I hope this helps.

[@iancoggeshall9057]

@@TheAnxiousTruth thanks for the feedback. I will check that book out. Also I got your 7% slower book from Amazon. Looking forward to reading it!

[@Moneypenny1960]

So helpful! I was thinking I had to work on each fear but now I need to deal with one fear. Fear of fear. Thank you!

[@shericriswell79]

The most brilliant thing I've ever heard!!! Thank You

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Wow. Those are very kind words Sheri. I'm glad you found this one helpful.

[@smile4menow123]

Great Advice Brother 👊

[@grb2017]

Just perfect. I needed this 111 xo

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm so glad you found it helpful in some way. :-)

[@jamesandrasi3304]

Wow this makes so much sense

[@jackpeople6415]

Drew you hit it right on the head. Afraid of death

[@jennyt22]

Same

[@danabare7061]

Same

[@user-wu4uy3nc4u]

Same

[@emmadeyn7273]

Thanks i just needed to hear this today. Its helped me loads. X

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

You are so welcome :-)

[@andrewskuriakose7971]

Thank you very much The fear of fear was the one thing that was creating and maintaining all my ocd and panic attacks. I had known this subconsiously but didnt really trust my instincts until insaw this video

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Ooooh I like the comment about "trusting your instincts"! This is what disordered anxiety does. It will insist that the logical part of you - the part that can see that nothing is really wrong - is totally wrong! It will demand that you ignore that reasoning and instead react strongly and urgently to the fear and scary thoughts. Thank you for sharing this!

[@Seantorky3]

Wow amazing thanks. I love the butter metaphore.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

You're welcome. Sometimes coming up with a million different ways to say these things is a bit of a challenge so I appreciate that feedback! :-)

[@SharonCross-ki4ou]

Youre brilliant.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I can produce a reasonably long list of people that would say otherwise. LOL. Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate them!

[@a.o.9594]

Mainly fear of what others think of me, because I don’t want to be alone. Did I do this wrong am I too quiet too loud. Basically I adjust one way than worry if I went to far.

[@wren1019]

well, i'm afraid of the fear itself, but only while driving (since, basically, 1992).

[@Enchanted3DPrints]

Put down the butter. Ill have to get a shirt that says this now. 3 years GAD and panic about EVERYTHING. I buttered everything....Time to stop doing that. Time to stop being afraid of who I am!

[@rayshellray2824]

I am just learning dont know where to start i start with panick and anxitey after the sudden loss of my mom..the fear is weird i get sick then i worry about ny kids 3 from 12 to 9 .if.somethjng happen who gonna watch them help them take care of them cause i have no one in my circle or family now that my mom has passed and then it turns onto a hamster wheel

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. That is a HUGE life event that will trigger lots of big emotions and often triggers anxiety and depression issues so you are not alone in that. Your fear is not "weird". Its totally understandable given that you lost your mom and now project what you're feeling onto your children. That's a very human thing to do. The trick here - and it is tricky - is to embrace the idea that worrying about what might happen to you and your kids does not actually keep anyone safe or stop things from happening. The act of noticing the excessive worry and recognizing it as a counterproductive way to soothe your fear while also allowing space for the normal human reactions you're going to have after losing someone close to you is big ask. Much of this will feel backwards or like it makes no sense. Be patient and give yourself time to learn these concepts and apply them while you're navigating through your grief.

[@jackiegerspachhas4237]

I had a fear of going outside. I very slowly went outside. I feel I’ve conquered that fear. I have a food phobia but when I try to eat something new than what I’ve been eating I feel some fear al though it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. If it’s all one fear then why do I get fear when doing that? When I do exposures, how much time should there be between exposures ?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

"All one fear" means that the approach to that fear is the same regardless of where it pops up. It doesn't mean that overcoming one expression of it means its all gone in every context. That would be more like a simple phobia. An anxiety disorder doesn't really work that way, but this principle means you can take the lessons learned in dealing with one expression of the fear and apply them in other expressions. Over time, that generalization happens and gets wider in your life. BUT (important), you may still find an initial fear in other situations. You'll just get better and better at recognizing it (even when it wears a different outfit) and responding/adjusting appropriately pretty quickly.

[@kassiep]

The irony of this being episode 111, on my country when someone has a mental health crisis the police are often called, police number is 111. Lolz

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

OK I could not have planned that any better if I tried! LOL. Where are you from?

[@Waves353]

@@TheAnxiousTruthsounds like a fellow New Zealander!

[@stephemsley9781]

I hope this message reaches you. You know and speak with my partner regularly. She pointed out this podcast E111 and we looked her condition differently. All her long lists of fears we called leaves on a tree. Those leaves narrowed down to branches, those branches narrowed down to the trunk, the trunk narrows down to the roots. The root was the N°1 root cause of all her leaves. Now, the "TRUNK" was was you said... the fear of fear. But the BIG PENNY DROP was deeper, root deep. The one thing my partner knew but didn't pick up on a the 1 common denominator... ... "She has always have to be in control!" Faced with "ANY" situation in life, she has to feel she is always in control. If she loses control of any one thing, place, person or situation, anxiety kicks in, then intrusive thoughts, then panic. So she avoids by fleeing back to her safe zone... the house - Agoraphobia. Fix the fact that she needs to learn that no one person has 100% control of everything, and "Let It Be..." only then will the leaves fall away from the tree and stop becoming a problem. Overwhelmed of having to expose with each single leaf, narrowed down to the root cause, like you pointed out... is just 1 problem to fix... "1!"