How Can I Better Support My Asexual Partner??

Asexual people and allosexual people may find themselves in a relationship together. And if you're not asexual, you may be wondering how you can be a better partner to your asexual significant other. Here's a good place to start!
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Hello, there internet! My name is Abbie. I am a millennial out here navigating life. I am proudly part of the LGBTQ+ community as I identify as Asexual, Biromantic, and Nonbinary. I love to travel. I am an adventurer at heart. My anxiety will oftentimes try to get the best of me, but as an anxious adventurer, I have developed a plethora of tips and tricks for traveling. I work on having candid conversations about my mental health struggles with depression and anxiety so that maybe we can all feel a little less alone. I pride myself on being kind, vulnerable, and open. Welcome to these bits of my life. I'm glad you're here. And remember,
Be yourself and be kind.

[@steedo7827]

I just found out my girlfriend was asexual Last night and we had been cuddling for a bit now and she never wanted to kiss or take it further. She was scared that I would not like her anymore but that’s far from the truth. It was just kinda shocking because I don’t understand how it works because I’m very sexually attracted to her and it’s strange knowing she doesn’t feel it back.

[@chelidecarolis9458]

Love the video ! And your content ! I have to say watching your content is really heartwarming ! And keep on making it !! :D your awesome! Definitely made my day with this video !

[@AbbieElizabeth13]

Thank you! You've made my day with this comment 🥰

[@chelidecarolis9458]

@@AbbieElizabeth13 Im glad I could make your day ! And your welcome!

[@liamodonovan6610]

You are awesome and beautiful abbie love you so much you are a very intelligent unique beautiful person you are a beautiful singer

[@hannahwoolery7110]

Person who stays till the end: What do you mean by "change this"?

[@AbbieElizabeth13]

I'm not sure! I'm just not feeling it.

[@georgeray4068]

Are allosexuals the same as hippies? My daughter says she is allosexual now and I dont know what it means.

[@AbbieElizabeth13]

Allosexual just means someone who experiences sexual attraction!

[@mattzetts6501]

Imo, it's extremely selfish for someone who is asexual to be with someone who is a sexual being, and to expect them to want to stay with them. You'd be depriving them of an extremely important and meaningful aspect of a relationship because of your own needs, not the other way around. Yes, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but it is very important. It's bonding, it's spiritual, it's carnal. I also can't picture a relationship like that lasting. Two people who are together but don't have sex is not a relationship, it's a friendship. Idk dude, why would someone who is asexual want to be with someone who enjoys sex? Selfishness and immaturity at its finest.

[@AbbieElizabeth13]

Listen, Matt, buddy. I'm not sure if you're aware, but, if you don't like my content, you don't need to watch it. I could go into all the reasons why you're wrong in this reply but I don't think it's worth it.

[@mattzetts6501]

@@AbbieElizabeth13 it's not that I don't like your content or you as a person. Please don't take anything I said as a negative reflection of you as an individual, but maybe reconsider the pain you put someone through by depriving them of this very important experience. I remember watching one of your old videos where you had a boyfriend and you could see how much pain and how much hurt he was experiencing because you didn't want to sleep with him. The rejection that dude must have been feeling was palatable and you seemed to be pretty aloof to it, and honestly like you didn't care. If you don't want to have sex, don't be in a relationship. I hope you find your way.

[@greensun4163]

hi, i recently came out to my partner as ace. we are still figuring this out but one of the first thing he told me was 'please dont tell me you want to leave me' breaking up with someone who loves you (and who you love) because it's 'the right thing to do' might look cool and dramatic in movies but it's in no way mature. the amount of things people can actually figure out is truly incomprehensible also i get what you were trying to say and in some cases you are correct even. but not all asexuals refuse to have sex completely, so calling all ace/allo relationships selfish for this reason is a huge generalization i really believe you didn't mean anything bad with your comment and i hope you find my response somewhat useful, have a nice one))

[@user-go2ek9ev4y]

@@mattzetts6501 literally NOBODY is forcing people to be in exclusive relationships with asexual people. NOBODY is depriving anyone from any experience (since people is not entitled to have sex with people that don’t consent)

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

Listen, Abbie, buddy. I'm not sure you're aware, but, your answer to Matt is totally unacceptable. He raised, in good faith, valid points about about the problems he sees in a personal relationship with an asexual. Instead of addressing his concerns and questions in good faith, you simply dismiss him because you "don't think It's worth it". I would be curious to hear you try to explain where he was wrong. I think it would be worth it. @@AbbieElizabeth13

[@steedo7827]

I just found out my girlfriend was asexual Last night and we had been cuddling for a bit now and she never wanted to kiss or take it further. She was scared that I would not like her anymore but that’s far from the truth. It was just kinda shocking because I don’t understand how it works because I’m very sexually attracted to her and it’s strange knowing she doesn’t feel it back.

[@user-fw1wd2gb1w]

Get used to it. She will never feel it back. The most you can hope for is that she allows you to have sex with her. By definition, she does not feel sexual attraction or sexual desire and never will. I suggest you read Matt's comment above. You are going to have to make some difficult decisions.