HOW DID I KNOW I WAS TRANS? | RyanJacobs

[@jelliemish]

Thank you thank you thank you thank you for this video, I'm serious I just started sobbing in the middle of it because this is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. I have not found a video or blog post out there that described so closely what I'm feeling and experiencing right now and it's extremely helpful and validating. Thank you Ryan. Thank you so much.

[@noahr.7144]

It was so hard for me to figure out I was trans. I have almost no dysphoria, and I'm fairly feminine, also not straight at all. it was almost solely my want to be like boys that got me to realizing. I would stare at attractive guys and it wasn't only attraction I was feeling. it was also like this odd want to be them but I just off the bat was like "you're a girl so you cant be like them" and I ended up burying those feelings because they could never be met. I thought I could never have what they had. (including a beard, I always wanted like one of those lumberjack beards oh my gosh the envy) I wanted to be that manly man and I always felt dissatisfied with how I was a girl. when I realized I wasn't just into guys and I could like girls. it was really odd for me. I felt like I was gay and just found out I was a little more straight. like I didn't mind but it got me thinking, I usually was really uncomfortable when I dated people like guys but most of the time I could never quite place that feeling so I decided to imagine if I was a guy dating guys and I immediately felt so much better about the whole situation. imagining myself as a boy made my train of thought clearer. no wonder every time I wrote a story it was practically impossible for me to not write as a boy. no wonder I preferred gender neutral characters. No wonder why I liked boyxboy stories as much as I did. I always felt a disconnect when I read normal stories from the girls point of view or how when I was younger I remember these people asked me my pronouns (actually on multiple occasions) and i answered He, she I don't care either way. I didn't even know what trans was then all I knew was I didn't care. (still am indifferent too.) you call me AJ I'll go by she you call me Alyssa Ill go by he just to confuse a few people. Thanks for putting this video out there. it nice to know that its not always a huge crazy moment that happens or that theyre overtaken by dysphoria that they don't understand. I wasn't like that or me and so it makes it a lot harder to figure out my identity. I was ok being seen as a girl (mainly because I don't care what people think of me) so I never felt the need to address some of these feelings. but if it will make me happier to be a boy then I'm going to be a boy.

[@maxh8814]

crellth theunicorn I relate to this exactly. My lack of dysphoria and admiration of guys appearances but not just out of attraction is the same as yours, especially the want of a beard! I feel a lot better knowing that someone has had the same feelings as I do as I'm pretty new to this, thanks for writing it out 😊

[@josephsdimension]

crellth theunicorn how can you be trans if you're happy being a female?

[@kaelanrichardson2074]

This video helped me the most of all video's i've watched until now.. Im having problems with finding out and i've been thinking about this for so long.. Like i feel it would be really weird for eveyone to call me my name and especially my close friends and family. i'm really scared that everyone will say that its a phase or something like that.. but i'm really no sure.. i dont know when i will come to the conclusion of who i really am. I really loved this video and it related to me at many points. Thank you for helping me and i think ur an amazing person :) :) :)

[@RyanJacobsFlores]

+Naomi Richardson Sending good vibes your way :)

[@kaelanrichardson2074]

[@carterthetaco5693]

I feel similarly in so many ways omg. I didn't know I was trans until like a month ago so now im just wandering across the gender wilderness haha. Thank you for this.

[@RyanJacobsFlores]

+Cassandra Vitacco Glad I could help in some way :)

[@aymericst-louis-gabriel8314]

Ryan Jacobs Flores So basically you know you are trans if you feel like life would be more comfortable with a different gender role ?

[@rss8818]

I feel similarly about why I've put myself out there. KZbin helped me out so much when I was younger and it's partly why I finally got the guts to transition. If I could help just one kid figure themselves out, all the effort is worth it. good luck man!

[@RyanJacobsFlores]

+RoSoloHPHG Thank you!

[@macininomagico2951]

I like so much the way you talk Ryan. You're so smart and you have a natural talent in explaining things. You should necome a Professor in a great University. Oh, how much I like people who van express so well. Also in another video of yours, where you explain about people who look like women but they habe male chromosomes and viceversa, I thought: "Wow, he knows that! I knew it, too! He's so clever and aknowledged: people MUST understand that gender is a more articulated topic than what they thought! " Well done, Ryan. I like you.

[@macininomagico2951]

Sorry for the typos! ;-p These smartphone's buttons are so small and so close one to the other! LOL!

[@jlovesmac9024]

I love how confident you are!! ❤❤❤

[@danmurz]

Ryan, you are amazing! It was such a pleasure to work with you.

[@kr0mer]

You are truly an inspiration. I just came out to one person 2 months ago after realizing I’ve felt this way since I was young. I am watching all of your transition videos and have inspired me more to want to transition as well with confidence. Keep doing what you’re doing and am so excited for you!

[@kdprodd]

You and I are alike! I watched your video and thought: this is me. I almost cried, but I stayed strong. I thought it was only a phase until I watched this. Thanks, Ryan. You are an inspiration to me.

[@harrycain3579]

LOVE YOU HEAPS... you wouldnt believe how comforting this video was for me!

[@cyanvlogs]

This is probably one of the most reassuring videos I've seen with trying to figure out my gender thank you for reminding me it's okay to be confused and scared but at the same time this also made me feel more okay. Thank you

[@nv3113]

You’re so brave and courageous. I’m almost there thinking of how to word things to my family. Glad I came across your videos.

[@KillahNdMizzleTV]

Thank you, for being so open! I finally found a 'story' I can relate to in my situation. Now I know that it's not a problem to be scared or insecure to transition; but that my feelings are there for reasons. Again, thank you so much. The best of luck and positive vibes from me to you, your transition is amazing! Keep it going! Greetings, Joey

[@letyciagaribay8574]

this helped me because ive been questioning since i was little i thought i was a "tomboy" but that didn't help me take this feeling away so in 7th i started wearing flannels and that kinda helped but then my moms husband gave me one of his old flannels then my moms friend gave me one of his flannels i felt so much better but i wanted this feeling to completely stop and i started getting more t shirts and hats the only people that know i want to transition are my sister and 3 closest friends they know about the name i rather have (Zachary) and im so thankful that my sister and my special friends support me

[@GioELT]

Hey Ryan! I want to thank you for put this video online! Really help me decided what to do. In three days I'll get my first T shot and I'm so nervous that I can't think straight. I'll never be 100% sure until I do it, because fear it's natural and I see it so clear now. I saw myself in your video. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@free_h2o142]

Giovanna Carvalho :)

[@dunialopez2520]

It's so beautiful that you are yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin. Your story is definitely inspiring! Keep it up !! Good luck on your journey 🙂

[@angelalopez6413]

hey dude you are so brave for doing this. I admire you for doing this!!

[@intelectualloner]

Hi Ryan. First of all, thank you for uploading videos like this and sharing your story. I'm a 22 years old transguy that just started HTR two months ago and I was really scared about it. I remember that the first term that I thought suit me was "intersexual" but a lot of things (physical) did not match with this category. I found the term transgender later on life. It's been 4 long years in which I explore my gender and what I really wanted. Everyone goes at their own pase. I think I decided to transition when I felt I was ready for it and right now I feel like that decision have changed my life for better. To anyone struggling with their ownselves, please be safe. There's people that love you and care about you and will gladly help you to go through it. It may be a long road, but no necessarly a lonely one. Greetings from Colombia and I hope you can understand my english.

[@gamergamer6241]

so much wisdom for such a young man! I'm proud of you son

[@averynonym]

This makes me feel so much better about accepting my trans identity. Thank you so much, Ryan

[@ceciln.7506]

this helped me so much!! i didnt know since i was 2 either, so i was feeling a little.. fake. i think the first time i started realizing it is when i made girl characters in the online games id play id make them either masculine or whatever i thought was prettiest. but when i made guy characters in em id make them how id wanna look. it hit me when i met someone else who was a "girl posing as a guy", and she said she made hers to mess with people and i was like "oh, yeah, me too!" but when she started messing with ppl in the chatroom it was absolutely not what i was doing at all...;; *cue the years of denial and redirecting* ("im not a guy, im a lesbian", "im not a trans guy, im genderfluid!", "im nonbinary!", "its ok if im a guy if im sometimes/halfway a girl too!")

[@Shutouts]

Cecil N. Great. Just know yourself and do what’s right for you and what would make you happy within yourself. I am at the Lesbian stage and I’m not sure of nothing. But will make sure to do the right thing.

[@fanmania8]

Hey Ryan thanks so much for this video!! I just discovered your channel and I'm just so damn happy right now! I'm always looking for qtpoc on youtube. There aren't many trans people who are of color on here so thank you so much for posting!!

[@ivarmalmcrona9303]

this is the best video I have seen. Thank you so much. it makes me feel like a have less weight on my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe and my stomach hurts less. Thank you so much. My birthday is coming up and it makes me so tense and scared. this is my first on as transgender. thank you for calming me.

[@catloverjasper3634]

Is it okay that I cried watching this? Especially the first part. You are one of the reasons I decided to come out and make my own channel. Thank you :)

[@t7010]

Our stories are so similar man. I'm so glad I came across this video because I can relate to every single you said!

[@vesrhal6616]

Apparently everyone is putting their stories, so I guess I will When I was in fourth grade, I cut my hair to my shoulders, and noticed I may have liked girls. Fast-forwards to fifth grade, I cut my hair to a longish pixie and came out as a lesbian. That stayed until I was here, sixth grade. My hair was a lot shorter, and I sort of wanted it to look like a boy cut. Fast-forwards some more, I started gender-questioning. I didn't like the she/her pronouns, but didn't know what I wanted. At this point I came out as demiflux or genderfluid and went by they/them. I still felt a little bit like something way missing. I started thinking of how, as long as I can remember, I wanted to try on boy cloths when I was little and out shopping. At this point, it's new years eve, and I'm going to a friends house. Most of my bras are dirty, so I try on some. One of my sports bras made my chest look flat, I liked it but I felt like I had to be a girl, and that my friends would make fun of me. At this point, a week or two later, when everyone is asleep, I go into the bathroom. There I look up the transgender term and find people like Ryan (here) and Jazz Jennings. This is when I take my shirt off, and this is when all hell breaks loose and I notice "heck I wanna be a boy" And yet I'm still in questioning hell.

[@aymericst-louis-gabriel8314]

Hala Vest What does mean to be a boy ? How is that even supposed to feel like ?

[@cosmojean1733]

This was extremely helpful. You basically said everything i am feeling right now. I am super scared and shocked at my new discovery and i do have a few doubts. I find myself asking, am i sure? But i do still thank you from the bottom of my heart. -path of discovery

[@DirewolfGabe]

Very nice video, what kind of camera are you using? On another note, I subscribed. It's refreshing to see another transguy on KZbin that's also Hispanic. I'm excited to see your monthly T videos, it's kind of like seeing a little brother grow up. :D

[@Odjeto]

This video was fantastic, so helpful! I'm in the weird position in that I have presented as male my entire life, with clothes, short hair, even nicknames so I don't have the same dysphoria about my body and self that a lot of guys have, as I've never reeeeaally been forced into a female role. However, as I've got older and the gender divide is becoming more apparent I need to actually do something, this video was great as I am having a lot of feelings and questions about whether transitioning is the right thing to do....

[@ShingekiNoLetsPlay]

This really helped me a bunch, thank you very much for sharing your story! It means a lot. Take care!

[@kelseysteele2259]

I’m a mom, I know I’m trans and want to transition so badly, but there’s this feeling of guilt for my child. I’m a single parent, and I don’t want him to lose his “mom” or mess him up in any way

[@ashlynnmoler8274]

You are great, I’m not trans but I know how you feel, I’ve got hate from people cause I’m friends with a trans, he got bullied for a while and I got bullied with him. Good luck!! He also dressed up as a boy for Halloween and it was so funnnn

[@giannas1200]

this has helped me so much. i finally feel not alone

[@alexusgongora7963]

I loved how you told your story. Mines is very similar. You are a great representation of an ftm. Love your videos

[@Haynic]

This is the best video I've watched by far. Thank you so much!

[@idkwhatimdoing8462]

I just don't know what to do A few months ago i came out to my sister and mi mom. My mom cried and she still denies to talk about it. She got really mad and took me to a psychologist and everyone is against what i want to be. Can someone be my friend or something? I quite need somebody to talk to right now

[@dumbfuck6594]

hey. I'm 13 and I'm a transboy too.

[@jaybee710]

I'm 13 trans boy and my mother kicked me kit the house to live out on the street for a week but luckily my father found me. Everything gets better don't worry

[@Leo-jp4fj]

i can be your friend. i dont have any

[@idkwhatimdoing8462]

thanks for your your comments guys right now i need that

[@idkwhatimdoing8462]

+Isabell Fjellstad. of course ;) i really don't have friends either

[@nzoutloud]

Had to pause this halfway through and breathe to not cry. Oh my god. I'm pretty sure I'm in the denial part because I have so much fear around transitioning, I'm nonbinary yet looking back I have been more masc than fem for a long while. Being called a 'tomboy' when younger, climbing trees, fighting with my brother, dressing as a guy for the culture festival and being comfortable going into the mens bathrooms at this event to pack with toilet paper rolled up... It felt right. I loved being identified as masc, not fem. At the moment I'm scared.... I have a lovely partner whom I love dearly but I'm scared to tell him that I'm thinking about transitioning, even though I'm pretty sure he won't be judgemental. I don't know if this is right for me, I doubt myself... Your words are so reassuring though. Thank you, you've helped me a lot.

[@Celtryna]

Gosh you help me right now! I'm like 4 days on T and I had a massive breakdown yesterday..be it T related or not I put in question every step I did to get that shot. So I guess fear took the hold of me and now I can kinda let some of this anxiety let go, knowing that I'm not alone with this fear :) Thanks a lot! What dose do you have? Your voice went down so quickly! I'd love for mine to do the same but hey..everything is unpredictable with hormones!

[@azaria310]

I love you Ryan, this video was everything.

[@troymackenzie1232]

I’m struggling because I want to transition but I have a lot of doubts. If society had no limitations for our dresses or actions, would we need to transition? I had bad, life-threatening experiences in my life as a female person due to being a small and pretty girl (too many assaults, too many boundary crossing, two rapes, too many people lying to me, manipulating me, posing as something they are not in hopes of having sex with me-I wasted so much of my time and tears, and close calls with fucking HUMAN TRAFFICKING) and that makes me think that it might be because of this-the thought that if I am perceived as a boy then I would be free from these things... I am disgusted by seeing men drooling over me or approaching me on the street that I now intentionally walk around with earplugs and without my glasses. Even if I healed completely from my traumatic experiences as a girl, I know that as long as I look the way I look, crazy and sick male people will continue to come after me. I used to go on fat diets and lift weights to look more intimidating. But it ended up making me more curvaceous and sexy, which made it worse. I am so sad. Someone please tell me if they experienced the same thing. I cannot control the sick people’s actions but I also have NO WAY of protecting myself from these people, when the authorities DON’T CARE AT ALL. I HAVE NEVER REPORTED ANY OF THESE INCIDENTS TO THE POLICE, and when I reported them to authorities, they did NOTHING. NOTHING. The only way out is suicide or becoming a boy.

[@Tzwashere2012]

I just want to say thank you cause I just came out on my 30th birthday and I can really relate with what you said here!

[@yindiadam21]

I don't know if I'm trans. I dress like a boy, I do stereotypical boy sports and I enjoy talking to boys. However I do a lot of dance and I usualy hang out with girls(because most of the boys get annoyed when I talk to them). Can someone please help?

[@moosboeke2554]

something really important to remember is that not being a stereotypical girl doesnt have to mean youre not a girl! You can be a girl and like sports and wear boys clothes and all that stuff. It's a difference thats hard to see, but if you are for example uncomfortable with she/her pronouns, or your chest/genitalia etc you might be trans

[@gissellemaravilla9553]

I wanna be trans bc I really don’t feel comfortable about being a girl or talking about girl/woman things (period, puberty , etc) I also wanna get short hair owo (like yours!) im scared halp

[@paola4uchi]

I didn't know either. I thought I was being natural, and perceived myself as a male and was just confused that no one else did.

[@LyleLane]

you're beautiful back then and now handsome

[@angy8yury]

I love your voice (Pre-T) It was raspy and sexy but now (on T) your voice sound amazing too.

[@mochachai5744]

I asked my friends to call me by male names so many times... and yet it never clicked that it was actually what I wanted to go by for real until recently.

[@CarlyCooo]

This helped me so much.. Thank you SO much for sharing.

[@shanicereid7220]

thank you so much for this video i think im trans , ftm but i dont think i will ever change my body or cut my hair because im scard of what my family will think even tho i really want to i told my mum im a lesbian but i just dont know what to do anymore

[@joyj6793]

I knew I was different but I also felt what you felt but when I realized I was trans then I bursted into tears and I was still am doubting it and jus wanna die 🤷🏽‍♂️I came out to most siblings and my mom but not my dad and other sister and I’m just sick of it and just wanna be happy

[@beingjimmy1692]

inspiration dude !

[@miki-ss3qy]

that's EXACTLY how I feel 😱😱 but I don't already came out

[@jelenavangenderen5116]

This helped me so much, thank you so so so much

[@afsanaparvez6112]

Thank u for this vid Its natural to feel scared ur so right

[@mattsnameis]

Great vid bro. whats the song playing in the background?

[@kaylin732]

I feel different I'm bi and I think I'm trans or gender fluid. Cuz one day I watch many videos of trans people and the other day I just feel like a girl. But I don't know what to do, cuz I take to much about what other people say and think about me. (Sorry if my English is bad, it's not my first language)

[@petstheshow1168]

Awe baby Ryan

[@Charlotte26Brecknell]

Thank. You.

[@hil7983]

this is amazing!

[@romandemilio1898]

Thank you. Just.... thank you.

[@javierlira43]

I feel like i need sex change because a long tima ago i pretended I was a girl because my parent's would never let me stuff a girl a would do so I think being a female would make life easier

[@manuelgonzales7876]

The hand at the end lol

[@Mcloven1503]

Thank you!

[@dylanoranlanzet9904]

U helped me so much thank u❤❤❤

[@LQQKtube]

very informative.. thanks for sharing.

[@koraimacidhernandez2863]

HHAHAHAH WHILE IM WATCHING THIS VIDEO IM JUST THINKING IN YOUR ACTUAL VOICE HAHAHAHHAHA im.kora.who here 😂

[@glindeman1645]

I'm also not even out

[@rocknroll6332]

Your so brave

[@zippitytv6591]

I am trans

[@thebutcherking167]

4:20 in in that situation right now :(

[@thebutcherking167]

Im*

[@kaolompp8494]

lil goldy im blazed

[@beingconnie2944]

I want to become who I am.... But I feel like I can't... Because I like Males...not girls.

[@torrinashley6076]

You can be a guy and not like girls

[@arianaabril2585]

Thank you very informative

[@senecarus_whitur]

AAAAAAAAAH I'm in a crisis!!!

[@KingstonHawke]

"Dressed as a boy" is problematic to say the least. Seriously, what does it mean to "dress as a boy"? Did you put on a blue t-shirt? Is that what boys must wear? If I wear the color pink does that make me less of a man? I'm a big fan of Rowdy Roddy Piper and bought a kilt because he made them seem cool as hell to me. When I wear that am I dressing up like a girl? Or does it not count because in Irish culture men wear skirts? The irony with this video is it's doing nothing but to highlight that trans people are some of the most sexist people in this country.

[@theresnomor]

Kingston Hawke use some common sence... if you go to a store there are Male and female sections. These clothes are very different for males and females. Color has nothing to do with it. Male clothes tend to be looser, bigger.. girl clothes are usually tighter, shorter.

[@cosmicdart5502]

u helped me so much i feel as if i was ment to be a boy but society would judge me on that.The name i picked out was Kristopher

[@kb3982]

How did u come out to ur parents?

[@alexzandercastillo8053]

are you still with your girlfriend

[@makeupbeauty04]

no he's not

[@dawnwriter18]

thirsty

[@nellekx]

So out of curiosity, would this make your girlfriend still a lesbian or is she now bi because you're male?

[@et9312]

PaperBuddy It's a confusing situation, but it'd be up to her how she wants to identify her sexuality

[@torrinashley6076]

@@et9312 Um, no it's not. Don't say shit like that. If he's still with his girlfriend then she would be bi. Ryan is a male. There is no way his girlfriend would be a lesbian because Ryan is not a female

[@kadecameron8134]

is it possible for someones pronouns be he/them as trans?

[@free_h2o142]

Laura Cameron yes, interchangeably or maybe for different situations. For me, I use she/her around people who would never accept me, He/him/they/them for friends, family and strangers. :)

[@Sandra.Almansoori]

Your cute

[@teddybeoyatusaveh]

Why do u talk in pause a lot . I feel like u hold ur breath .

[@fadiaalasmar9982]

U r such a besutiful girl.. why did u do that .. it is so sad

[@torrinashley6076]

Get this transphobic shit out of here. He's not a girl