How Do I Date in 2023? (Delony’s Hot Takes on Dating)

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

I think the real problem is we live in a society with excess, instant gratification and over stimulation. Oh, this person didn't check all the boxes, or they didn't fall head over heels in one date, a new date is just a swipe away. There is always that thought of a better option.

[@samerm8657]

That is SO so true! Totally with you on this point.

[@random-nz7dy]

Also online dating is basically given people a chance to just have yet another online outlet where they can make themselves feel like a celebrity and so many profiles are just conceited, self gratifying pages That just basically exist to flaunt somebody's looks with no intention of truly dating. And then people will use generic modifiers like "Christian"knowing it will generate even more lights to stroke their ego.

[@leah2476]

You are 100% right

[@abbyxiong3931]

It's more like shopping for people (dates.)

[@DominickSpano]

I am 37 years old and to me you can never replace old fashioned dating. The type of dating where you pick a girl up, open the door for her, go to a small restaurant and activity, and maybe just take a walk and talk. If your lucky it ends in a kiss. I don't like modern dating at all. Old way better.

[@salonsavy6476]

Agreed 👍

[@oncetwice5942]

I agree 100%. It’s rough out here.

[@DominickSpano]

@@oncetwice5942 It is terrible actually. Why can't you just date a woman like we did decades ago..I don't like online dating much at all.

[@oncetwice5942]

@@DominickSpano I hate online dating too. What sucks about it the most is that the majority of women on there are married and calling themselves “poly” 🙄🙄. It’s so annoying 😫.

[@DominickSpano]

@@oncetwice5942 It is dreadful.

[@oncetwice5942]

Dating for me has been a hellhole for me. It’s getting to the point I want to give up entirely. It’s extremely hard to find someone that can hold a conversation.

[@shyneray250]

For me also, quality conversations are such a key requirement.

[@oncetwice5942]

@@shyneray250 It really is. I wish most other single people understood that looks can only get a person so far. Having great conversations is one of the main ways to keep me interested.

[@KVW110]

I love having interesting converstaions with people.

[@oncetwice5942]

@@KVW110 So do I.

[@pigeon4208]

I'm 26 and I'm definitely feeling that. About every date I've been on has been asking questions and getting 1 word answers

[@lyndaslocs]

"So, I decided I would work on my marriage." 😂😂😂😂😂

[@cooliipie]

Lmao

[@Tcflohr]

I divorced a few years. Dating was awful. Depressing, and superficial. I ended up meeting someone and we got married. A year after our wedding, she was killed along with our unborn son. Dating isn't anything I'll ever have interest in again. Be true to yourself, do things you enjoy, work on yourself. If someone is right for you, hopefully you'll cross paths. Don't change yourself for other people. Don't do things you aren't comfortable with with someone you don't fully trust. Focus on yourself. Your mental and physical and spiritual health.

[@nt3833]

I am so sorry that happened to you. ❤

[@alluringbliss4165]

Virtual hug, be strong

[@SaystheTruth3]

So sorry that happened... ❤️

[@biancaopala99]

Sorry to hear that ❤

[@Noone-jn3jp]

Good lord Brother. 🙏🏻

[@shady1234shady]

Honestly as a women in her mid twenties, I’ve noticed sadly you get serial online daters. The last guy I dated only had met women online and had almost zero social skills. And broke up with me in a phone call, it’s rough!

[@wiiiz3]

Asking this from a guy who gets zero match, what makes you click like on a guy's profile?

[@agees924]

Same. I noticed you either get players and emotionally unavailable people or those that are so socially awkward you can’t even have an enjoyable conversation.

[@agees924]

@@wiiiz3 For me as a woman, I will click on a guy’s profile when there’s effort put into it and we have similar values. So I look for him having his core values filled out (religion, what he’s looking for, etc). High quality prompts are also good but rare. I like a guy that can type and spell well. Many guys have low effort one liners and that’s not my thing. Many guys just don’t put a lot of effort into their profile. I am also way more likely to match with someone who comments verses just likes my pic.

[@lukeswain1752]

​@agees924 low effort because effort doesn't matter. I use to dabble with dating apps. I'd be lucky to get one match a week. Gotta delete the apps, delete the social media, and start living in reality. At least that's what I am doing. Best of luck out there! God bless

[@Mooches33]

As someone who finds it next to impossible to connect with someone online, I’m just looking forward to a future with my cats.

[@amyleigh7624]

This is the way.

[@salonsavy6476]

AMEN sister 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

Could always try approaching a guy in real life. You'd be surprised how approachable we are

[@addicus1763]

Lol. Same except dogs. 😂

[@lyndaslocs]

or dogs.

[@Shelley464]

Yay! More clips on dating and singleness. That’s very much appreciated 👏🏻

[@TheEquiss]

I gave up on the online thing. All I get is someone who wants a hook up, a shack up, a nurse or a purse.

[@sunshine3914]

I’ve been busy just trying to be best at whatever I do. Over 60, never married & no kids. Practically all the ones I thought that I might want to get to know, turned out they were only interested in phone sex. I took that to mean that they’re either socially inept or married. If I was even halfway good at it, I’d get my own 900 number.

[@wiiiz3]

whats wrong with a nurse?

[@TheEquiss]

@@wiiiz3 as is a guy 20-30 years older than me wanting someone to take care of them. Not interested.

[@MicheleHerrmann]

Same. Any inclination I give to a guys is seen as though I'm a sure thing.

[@gailainsley6939]

@@genxx2724 Omg. I’m a younger woman that USE TO date older guys but I’ve recently stopped because I noticed the same thing. They have Kids, alimony payments or don’t want to get married again etc etc. I now only see them when I’m getting some sort of financial benefit out of it. Apart from that, no thanks. If you can’t offer me marriage/ the security that you offered to your ex wife then What’s the point? 👀😂 If I wanted to just ‘hook up’ with a broke guy. I would get a hot young one my age. Not an old dude 😂😴

[@spaRKLES88604]

My best advice to everybody: 1. Make a list of 3-4 traits/values that your partner must have to date you 2. Make a list of 3-4 traits/values that your partner cannot have, these are met to protect you from wasting your time. 3. focus on authentic, true blue, deep relationships when dating. Don't date to bang, date to experience that person and grow if it works out. 4. Define your purpose: Are you dating to marry? dating to pass time? dating to see what you like?

[@Me.3852]

You forgot number 5. What I am I ready to give to my partner including sacrifices/compromise to you future partner happy and meet their goals in life.

[@DeadCat-42]

Not obese, not a single mom, not a sociopath. That leaves at least six or seven women in my City .

[@chelseygable289]

Your friend was 10000% correct. I am a single mom and trying to date again and it is absolutely AWFUL! I hate it so much.

[@israelcruz2010]

Already have a disadvantage by having a kid

[@bonezbaaaby]

That's going to limit your matches having a kid. Try to date single dads only so you're on the same level.

[@f50koenigg]

Thats the problem, you are so quick to jump having kids without a strong foundation to the person you were sleeping with. You got impregnated then all thing you know you are a single mom. Now, its going to be much harder for you to find a mate because single men don't want the burden of taking care other men's children. Maybe find a single dad that is willing to take care of your child while at the same time taking care his own child. But finding those ones is also challenging. You may be single for the rest of your life.

[@hikersteph]

My boyfriend and I met because he read my hiking blog looking for info and noticed i talked about my faith a lot :) he slid into my instagram DMs with a sweet message, but we stayed online friends only until we met up to go hiking just this year. Its so true... you cant truly generate a relationship through a screen. The sooner it can become face to face, the better. Otherwise uou start building up ideas if who the person is that arent accurate.

[@ASirenSoliloquy]

I don't know what people are looking for anymore, but a lot seem to want themselves in a different package. I don't need my partner to enjoy all of the same hobbies or have all of the same beliefs. We do need to have the same goals for our families and a commitment to our relationship. Also I think there's a lot of emphasis on appearance, I want to be attracted to my partner but if I want to grow old with this person, we're both going to change over the years. I like to think about the scenario, what if you met an amazing person and you've been dating happily for 6 months when they're involved in an accident leaving them with a large facial scar and/or a lost limb. All other things about this person; their sense of humor, their goals, their personality are the same but would you still swipe on them not knowing any of that? Relax and take time to get to know people, there's too much stress on meeting and first dates. Learn about each other and if you don't think it'll work long term call it quits. Your life shouldn't revolve around having another person in it. Find peace in being alone, then decide to share that peace with another - if you choose. Staying single is also a fine choice! 💛

[@johniii8147]

The trick to aging is to take care of yourself, stay in good shape etc.

[@y-yyy]

This seems like really good advice and good thoughts. Thanks!

[@juliedurby8333]

To quote Jason Everet: Online meeting is OK, online dating is not. After you find somebody, you must make the move from the app and texting to being in person.

[@TheEquiss]

Oh and if you tell people you are not “hooking up” on day one, the guys tell you’re weird and they want nothing to do with you.

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

Maybe try something other than tinder

[@TheEquiss]

@@Ryan-wx1bi never even been on there.

[@nt3833]

That is not dating then. Those type of people want a hookup. Disgusting and sad. They will live a lonely life in my opinion.

[@alluringbliss4165]

It happened to me on the 2nd date. When I refused to go to his house, he told me I was too stiff and I never heard from him.

[@lalakuma9]

Or they would still pressure you to hook up anyway and touch you inappropriately.

[@RachelReaiah]

Haven't dated in over 7 years. Now I'm a bit apprehensive to even venture out there. So many things have changed with dating. I am optimistic still that I will meet someone with the same moral values. I can build with that

[@fauxwarpentertainment5781]

Yeah, I just started online dating in 2024. It's awful. I'm not going to lie, I feel like a damn robot. It sucks. I actually want to talk to a human being, not a social media page. And I went to college for Digital Animation and Game Design!

[@k00ltv69]

Every time I feel like I found the one, I’m always wrong

[@DeadCat-42]

I live in a rural area, my choice is online or never dating. I choose the later. I'd rather eat broken glass than date online. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any appropriate way for a man to approach so even when I do meet someone there is nothing I can do. Most of my friends are the same, we will all probably never date again.

[@savvmoreland3595]

You don't, it's sad out here lol 😂. Wish I was married.

[@lstokes25]

I was in a really bad marriage for 18 years. And I have been divorced for eight years now. I have two teenage boys. Dating nowadays sucks so bad. Nobody wants to get to know the other person. And people only want sex. I’m looking for my soulmate and I don’t think he’s out there

[@agees924]

I want to date but I really want to meet someone in person. It seems impossible. I have briefly dabbled in online dating and didn’t like it much. However, despite going to social events, people don’t approach you anymore (like the guy said). I kind of understand it though. Why risk rejection in person when you can just go online? In theory, it seems like a good idea but in practice it’s rough.

[@Pault3788]

I'm 62 and have never dated,I have some physical issues which women wouldn't accept although they say I'm seem like a nice guy. So a year ago I decided to become a loner and have learned to accept it which is going ok.

[@TheSilviepie]

3:37 "I call bullcrap on a stick in a box riding on a pony riding through the desert on that one." 😂 It just sounds like people are less okay with compromise and more focused on working on themselves. In a way it's good if you know what you want, but taken too far it could destroy openness to new relationships where both people have to meet a bit in the middle. I agree we're designed for in person intimacy instead of digital. There are some things technology is excellent for but creating intimacy is not one of them. Anyways, insightful episode - loved your humor in this (despite the depressing report). The "good luck everybody!" outro killed me. 😂😂😂

[@fancyman4563]

Please everyone stay far away from the metaverse dating. I did something akin to it and while it may be exciting in the moment, it poses far more risks and uncertainties vs dating in real life.

[@theinfinity2988]

Bro it’s hard man especially when your Catholic or religious I feel like. but I’ll keep on improving my self and hope I can find my partner

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

I mean, try going to multiple churches and dining different groups. Least there is a like minded community for you to start from

[@emmarose6590]

Same.

[@shady1234shady]

Yes and Catholic/ Christian dating sites sadly have some of the strangest people ever 😂

[@chada75]

Speed Dating is Awesome!

[@emmarose6590]

John it’s awful. From a woman’s perspective most of the men are looking for hookups, and the women do it!! So if you don’t hookup it’s very hard to find similar people. Also NO ONE invests. It’s one and done, many men above 30 who don’t know what they’re looking for. It’s so destructive and painful to date

[@nt3833]

Emma rose, look elsewhere. Hooking up to me is not even dating. Those people will still be single in 10 more years and ultimately lonely. It’s pathetic.

[@cooliipie]

Stop hooking up

[@DeadCat-42]

Lol, no most men are not looking for hookups. Very few men are like that. What you should say, is the men I choose out of billions are the small toby insignificant percentage of men that act like that.

[@jacintatate]

Im 25 and I dont know how to date men? I hang with my girl friends and its easy, we talk about clothes, makeup, giggle about weird things whilst eating grapes and watching vampire diaries. I try talking to a guy and the words dont come out right, its socially awkward, I start to heat up and start blushing, I feel so much pressure in what to say that I completely shut down and cant talk to guys. I like guys and am attracted to them but I cant reach out without overthinking the whole thing. Any tips on how to start dating one?

[@luminous6969]

14:20 Does he not realize it's gonna have voice chat? And btw some people have dated in online video games and then met in real life so this isn't a new thing, it's already been happening for years. I know a guy that met his wife on a game called Second Life and now they've been married for like 15 years and have 2 kids. Btw please stop making me defend the metaverse haha.

[@straight.no.chaser1708]

I think John still thinks it’s the norm to date with intention mwaaahaaaaaaha! Oh nay nay John 😌

[@cashway0420]

He's a christian with a christian boss, Dave fires his employees for having pre-marital sex...

[@melanieb2132]

That's sad

[@nt3833]

It still is in the right circles.

[@straight.no.chaser1708]

@@nt3833 I’m in those circles i know they are very rare.

[@UnitedStatesGovt]

Id rather meet someone in public. Dating as a man in your early 30's sucks.

[@ladyfirefly789]

"Kelly, this just makes me sad.... good luck, everybody!" Lord... 😅😢

[@DraconicFrost09]

I am looking forward to being someone who has never had a relationship in their life until I die. It’s almost not worth it to try anymore

[@breauxsw]

I feel the same way, but I have not lost hope. Look up Alan Roger Currie books and go from there.

[@hudsonms]

You definitely are spot on here. But also I wish that someone would expose what the “metaverse” even is. Because I guarantee that no one here knows what is really going on “there”. Unfortunately I am well aware because I did a deep dive into what all goes on in the metaverse was when I found out my EX girlfriend was cheating on me with some person in the metaverse (with my oculus, that I have since burned, JK disposed of…) and I had no clue it was going on (more to the story of course.) But the point is that it is a sick Escape from literally reality and the things people do/can do in there are absolutely horrifying. Along with the data about the LSD like Serotonin release that happens when in the VR goggles. And parents are just letting their 12year olds play hours on end because it’s a “video game” but this is no video game… I loved playing the starwars games and beat saber but that is a front for what is truly going on in this metaverse…

[@iBryanDBrown]

The movie Ready Player One is becoming a real thing.

[@andersmonemar3833]

The ending so cracked me up! :)

[@Himmiefan]

It definitely is creepy when a guy goes up to a woman as asks her name. That's a power move. He knows her name and she doesn't know his. Guys with good communication skills know to strike up a conversation about something that is going on around them where ever they are, and part way through the conversation, introduce themselves with a handshake (sign of respect). If they're at a party, they can participate in a group conversation with her and get a mutual friend to introduce them.

[@whittenaw]

We need a little red light/green light system so people know who is open to being approached and who isn't 😂😂

[@johniii8147]

If you're paying attention it's not hard to spot.

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

Isn’t it called smiling, it it’s a green light? 😊

[@thegenxgamerr]

The ramsey network and its personalities are devout Christians which is great. I wouldnt be contacting them for dating advice unless you adhere to a pretty strict Christian moral code. They are fairly out of touch with how the majority of americans actually live and lead a mostly secular life.

[@nt3833]

Ok, and how is going with the “secular” world of “dating”?

[@blah7694]

@thedrjohndelonyshow I would love it if you could do a show with your wife. I bet she would have great persoective. Without it being too like LifeTeeny!

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

Nearly 35 years old and have never been compelled to want to date.

[@gilbertotorres8657]

Is it lonely?

[@cooliipie]

​@@gilbertotorres8657 You've never been single?

[@katiavalentino5800]

What is the metaverse?? All I can think of is the new Dr Strange movie.

[@minimal13579]

Shakespeare is early modern English :)

[@nt3833]

The whole concept of dating now days is ridiculous. Get involved in activities that you’re interested in. Go to places that are likely to have people you will share things in common with. Meet someone organically.

[@y-yyy]

So what are you supposed to do if you do these things but years go by and you don't meet anyone this way? Online dating allows you to get out of your limited social bubble and open up your pool. It makes sense for a number of people.

[@jstrickhouser]

Any woman near greater Philadelphia looking for a genuine guy, say hi 😊

[@y-yyy]

Honestly, I have no idea in what world dating is like described in the beginning of this episode. I started dating for the first time last month using dating apps and, honestly, it's perfectly normal, you just meet people and talk to them, most are perfectly normal people. I met around 10 people at this point and only with one we kissed on the first date, so it doesn't seem like everyone is just making out on first dates either. And people absolutely still chat each other up at events just fine. Of course, dating is difficult, but I don't feel like challenges described in this episode are the real challenges that most young people face. That article sounds like typical clickbait rage-baiting tbh. But idk, I might just be living in my bubble.

[@johniii8147]

He's not really the person to come to for dating advice at this point. He's long out of the game.

[@GuyDaniels1991]

Do you have security at airports

[@vixter28]

💯💯 dating in 2024 sux !

[@EdelweisSusie]

Tell your Mom that I live not far from Shakespeare's birthplace (Stratford upon Avon). x

[@mblake0420]

Man I'm 40 and my wife is having an affair and left. It's been like 4 months and I'm not a bad looking guy nor do I have money issues. I cannot for the life of me find a single date anywhere that's acceptable to me. It's crazy. I have this hunch that the tip top guys are dating the top half of the woman. They are getting played so hard.

[@leeche87]

What is acceptable date according to you ?

[@grizzlybear2702]

How tall are you. Nowadays especially in younger generations any man below 190cm is permanently disqualified from dating.

[@gailainsley6939]

How did she get a guy? Was it online?

[@mblake0420]

@@grizzlybear2702 6ft, no problem there

[@mblake0420]

@@gailainsley6939 no sat beside him 8hr a day for 2 years, after the fact I found out how he was. She is in trouble but is love blind.

[@Housestationlive]

if you didn't date for "a long long time" how could you be legitimate to talk about this john?

[@USpatriot741776]

Wait. We're not friends? :(

[@santafilipina9020]

Deloney is not the person to ask for dating advice.

[@johniii8147]

That was my thought.

[@mark.daniel]

why not?

[@santafilipina9020]

@@mark.daniel it's like asking a retired QB to play again after being off 15 seasons. Sure he still knows how the game is played but he is not there in the trenches battling bigger, younger and faster opponents. It's not the same game.

[@mark.daniel]

@@santafilipina9020 I don't think that's a great metaphor. Tell that to ALL the sports commentators who are watching the games and weighing in, even though they haven't played in years.

[@santafilipina9020]

@@mark.daniel don’t just disagree. TELL me WHY the metaphor isn’t suitable.

[@nt3833]

Normalize traditional dating again and being able to approach someone you find attractive!

[@YazminM2222]

You didn't stalk them first? 😮 Just to show you care at least

[@danielherrin]

Tacos is not a personality trait.

[@calebburghardt3391]

I’m gonna get hate for this, I don’t believe dating is harder now. I think the people that whine about dating now tend to be people who would complain no matter what. Yes, if you’re just going to sit home swiping through tinder hoping you match with a 10/10, you’re going to be disappointed. I also think very few people outside of Gen Z are interested in the “meta verse” and most young people still want to meet people in real life. I think a lot of this “data” doesn’t tell the whole story and kinda sounds like hysteria and a good excuse for people to fall back on when they aren’t getting dates because their personality sucks 🤷🏻‍♂️ EDIT: if you complain that "you can't even go up to a girl anymore", that is a red flag imo. You are either a creep, or you're going after girls too young for you, also making you a creep. So I don't buy that story of John's friend...

[@aliolivi]

THIS!

[@alluringbliss4165]

You come off as someone who has no clue, nor experiences yet very opinionated.. I think, I think, I think , I think , i think........ Ok Genius 🙄🙄

[@engagedanddivorcedpodcast]

You are spot on!

[@y-yyy]

100%. I started dating last month and it's perfectly normal out there. I have no idea what this article and this episode are talking about tbh.

[@ladyfirefly789]

Someone please start the Ramsey Solutions dating site....

[@cooliipie]

2:20 😂

[@mikewizoski7593]

If I dated again I would be really really careful that they don’t have a mental disorder, my ex left me so damaged his family kept his Autism a secret from me. I’m really sick and still trying to recover I was left bankrupt in every way possible.

[@luminous6969]

Dating has become a giant waste of time and men are opting out of the dating landscape that's been created for them. Once you reach the point where you can't approach a girl without being accused of stalking, that's when you know it's best to just take your ball and walk off the court and just focus on yourself. Of course we all know who's responsible for it having to come to this but y'all ain't ready to have THAT conversation.

[@salonsavy6476]

Well said 👍👍

[@sunshine3914]

Men aren’t going home. They’re still trying to impress with their toys… that’ll probably never be paid for. Then complain that all women are gold diggers.

[@luminous6969]

@@sunshine3914 One group of men don't like gold diggers, while another group of men impress women with their toys cos they know it helps them get laid, and yet another group of men are opting out of a rugged game like I had mentioned. There are multiple groups of men doing different things.

[@micahwright5901]

@@luminous6969 and there are multiple women doing different things

[@luminous6969]

@@micahwright5901 Yeah but the divorce laws and child custody laws favor women at the expense of men so it's still a rigged game regardless of what any particular woman is doing.

[@MajkenTrosborg]

Digital intimacy 🤣🤣🤣 nonsense