How Do I Know if I’m Really an Alcoholic?

How Do I Know if I’m Really an Alcoholic?
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[@ritar.4322]

I didn't get in trouble every time I drank, but every time I got in trouble, I'd been drinking.

[@fml5910]

For real?

[@bumblinagirl2683]

Totally get it! Soo true!

[@ashleymarie6585]

HAHA. Me

[@domleah1987]

Me too. Smh.

[@kellibuzzard9431]

Same-same.

[@ChardeeMacdennis339]

It took me me about a year of “trying to cut back” before I realized that unfortunately that’s just not possible for me. I was an all or nothing kind of gal and alcoholism runs really hard in my family. So I had to just stop. It’s been 8 years. I’m super glad I did it. It’s not always easy and sobriety is more like a roller coaster than an incline, IMO. But I’m grateful I did it and am still hanging in there ✌🏻

[@baddog6003]

Good job.

[@red-bd3mc]

wow thats amazing!!! :)

[@tiffw5245]

That's extremely hard. Did you go cold turkey?

[@benwhitnell]

With rare exception, if you have to ask you are an alcoholic.

[@samia6888]

Many will think they are the rare exception.

[@TonyCox1351]

Bro said he “drinks to get drunk” 5-7 nights a week, and that all his friends and family drink just as much, and every time they all get together they drink. I’d love to hear the argument that he’s _not_ an alcoholic

[@oldgeezer2780]

I have a friend who told his doctor he was concerned about his drinking. The doctor told him if he was worried, he probably wasn't an alcoholic. I guess somebody has to graduate in the bottom of his med school class.

[@GlassJack]

It's a disease. Some people do just drink to pass the time and because they are surrounded by people who are also drinking. He said he's taken breaks in the past, like during the pandemic, and he felt great. Good chance that was because he wasn't out with his friends and family being a social drinker 5 nights a week. Like everything, drinking can become a habit. I think this guy has a problem, and it will easily be solved by making adjustments to his lifestyle.

[@michaelmoran2125]

Ur smart he does for thirty forty years there aint nothing left. Thats was crazy how he said it so nonchalant. ​@@TonyCox1351

[@xreediculousx]

I have been sober from alcohol for 1 year. It is one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

[@denisesalles7248]

Congratulations, what great work on your part!

[@chrisdawson3859]

I do not even know you yet I am proud of you.

[@jc7887]

You may say you dont "skip things" but you actually do. You are skipping they gym (for example) every morning you dont get up and jump out of bed because you are not on top of your game, etc. Just because you are doing what is required (work, etc) doesnt mean you are living your best life. Alcohol doesnt allow you to live your best life. It steals from you slowly and then faster and faster until you wake up one day and realize life is passing you by.

[@4862cjc]

Recovering alcoholic here, with over 19 years of sobriety. Thank you, John, for immediately calling this out at 01:39. I wish someone did that with me way back when. I hope this young man finds sobriety (not moderation, but complete abstinence).

[@theeasternfront6436]

Good on ya

[@brookemoore8369]

Him and his brother in law are going to have to replace the drinking with something else. A whole new lifestyle. I know several alcoholics that replaced drinking with weight lifting since it’s a great stress reliever, and you can see the progress you’re making week by week. I hope they can get this through this!!

[@erbjp]

That’s not a solution to the problem. If it were, Delony would have told the caller, “just replace your drinking w/ XYZ.” What you’re describing is typical addict behavior. They stop using and throw themselves into some sort of “hobby.” But oftentimes they end up relapsing b/c their new “hobby” is just another mask over the root issue.

[@sustainabilitytheory5154]

Yeah, underlying issues will still be present, but replacing a bad habit with a good habit (or a less bad habit) is a known effective method of changing habits and routines. Relapses happen all the time, even when people address the fear or anxiety that drives them to drink.

[@brookemoore8369]

Sustainability Theory Absolutely. An addict will lose everyone and everything in the pursuit of a better life, so it’s important that they fill those voids with better people and habits once they start burning off the dead wood.

[@stellarocquie7957]

@@brookemoore8369 Like they say in AA, "People, Places, and Things".

[@brookemoore8369]

Stella Rocquie it’s rough….. I know a lot of alcohol can’t deal with so many losses at once.

[@mandypdx]

A quote I once heard- if you’re asking the question…at the very least alcohol is not serving you well.

[@jameshorton3692]

Exactly, I realized it wasn’t helping so I just quit. It would always ruin the next day. Whatever I was getting from drinking on the weekend is way outweighed by no longer having 2 day long hang overs. After a month I just came to the conclusion that I don’t need it and it’s a productivity, time, and money sink.

[@deanaburnham9571]

❤...and how about health and sanity?

[@skimbaweed]

What makes alcoholism harder is living in a society that normalises heavy/ regular drinking. I needed to hear this episode as this has been my personal journey this year

[@imnotanalky]

I’ve been sober for 17 years. I attend 12 step meetings (AA and Celebrate Recovery). I need Gods help and the support of other people. I no longer think about drinking. My family drinks a lot, and the thought doesn’t cross my mind because my cup is full today ( thank you God). Get plugged in with a group of recovering people: it will change your life.

[@stellarocquie7957]

CONGRATULATIONS! Keep up the GREAT work! It works if you work it!

[@baddog6003]

I don't like AA, but if I were surrounded by a family that I was close to who drank, I'd probably have to go to AA to stay sober, lol.

[@LaCantressa]

Blaming the surrounding events and people is a huge red flag.

[@sethrawbass]

We are a product of our genetics and our environment

[@MalloriDan]

“I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic…” “Yes”

[@jessicanoble1834]

I love that affirmation: I am someone who takes care of their body. Repeating that over and over shifts the identity for the better. I love this episode Dr. Delony.

[@chrisdawson3859]

My sister quit deinking cold turkey. I am SO proud of her. Then about 6 years later she quit smoking!!! True respect for her!!!

[@jeanettel4840]

Quitting cold turkey can be deadly for a heavy drinker, they need medical help. I'm so glad she stopped!

[@Entirelyxtooxtiredx]

As a drug and alcohol clinician so many people and even professionals do NOT get this right. This is why I watch you, you were SPOT ON!!! Thank you

[@julesmpc1314]

This guy is gonna make it!!! All the best for him

[@JamesG1126]

It's been 4 years of sobriety and I still want beer.

[@luketull]

Try Pellegrino with a lime or some other sparkling water! That always hit the spot with me and quenched my beer want

[@whisperingdivinelove]

I’ve been sober 4 years too and I still get cravings

[@mrsflowerpower]

I always wondered, can you have 0.0 non-alcoholic beer? I think nowadays these taste almost as good but I know a view sober alcoholics and The never drink alcfree beer or Cocktails. Why not? I love beer/wine and Cocktails but quit everything 3 months before we started trying for baby no 1. Not missing it but will have alcfree beer and cocktails recently. Why is that no for ex alcoholics? Asking out of pure curiosity

[@JamesG1126]

@@mrsflowerpower I've had some non-alcoholic IPA. It tastes pretty good. It's 0.5% alcohol. I've always just had one and don't feel anything. Can't say it's satisfying like real beer but I enjoy one on occassion.

[@olivialam3746]

I spent a lot of years struggling with the what ifs and future tripping about not drinking ever again. But I hit personal bottom and had a spiritual experience, realizing it was no way to live, and committed to making a change. Today at 3.5 years sober, I could not have imagined just how much richer my life could be. My kids have a sober mother and I have choices today. I rely on God, the guidance of my sponsor, and follow the suggested 12 steps. There is a solution my friend.

[@stellarocquie7957]

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE A SUCCESS! It works if you work it! I wish you health and sobriety for ALL the years to come, ONE DAY AT A TIME!

[@deanaburnham9571]

❤Congratulations!! Remember you're no longer high so your moral standards of living are high! Sober sanity and sane sobriety! Get a sponsor who is living a very clean and moral life. Protect your kids. Read the 12 and 12. Again. ❤

[@rockmanlover]

If you have to ask if you’re an alcoholic, you are probably an alcoholic. Simple as that. As a non-alcoholic, I have never asked myself this question.

[@MrTbager1]

You’re just in denial. You always drink too much when we hang iut

[@user-ct1kh2if8j]

If I suggested that you stay completly from all alcohol for 6 months, how would you feel inside?

[@rockmanlover]

@@user-ct1kh2if8j easy, I’ve done it. I don’t have a problem with alcohol and don’t need it to function or “have a good time”. I have no feelings about abstaining.

[@Verase787]

Hahhaha bingo ​@user-ct1kh2if8j

[@4862cjc]

@rockmanlover. Recovering alcoholic here. You are so correct, sir! I asked myself that question a number of times! Been clean and sober for over twenty years now. It is the best life!

[@petergonzalez1719]

I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy.

[@annbaker2950]

I was drinking every day until I had a medical issue and had to stop drinking for 8 months. After I did that I realized it was basically a habit I developed.

[@deanaburnham9571]

❤A deadly habit. Eight months was the loud wake up call. How many "2nd chances" have you had?

[@annbaker2950]

I was a 5:00 wine hour, and one with dinner. But it was EVERY night.

[@GoodVibesHD]

This episode really spoke to me I am in the depths of similar situation to this guy, I moved out to the country and now I don't have any friends to hang with so this is what it led to. Appreciate your videos you brought up some good points definitely going to try my hardest to not drink Dr. John you were a big influence in my life.

[@Pheonix1111]

Everyone should listen to this call. Such an excellent call that will help save millions of lives - billions of future lives when you think of the children who are not born yet.

[@elainebmack]

As a person who has never had addiction issues, this is really making sense to me, helping me to understand why it is so difficult for people to quit addictive habits. It isn't just a matter of stopping drinking, but changing the way you see yourself and how you fit in (for want of a better term).

[@Matt-cr4vv]

It’s super difficult because it isn’t as simple as just giving up a substance in and of itself but drastically adjusting your life as a whole if you want to have a real chance. If you drink regularly most all of the people you spend time around drink and so it almost requires that you stop hanging around those people. And it’s also extremely common that people dog on you for deciding to quit because alcohol is a substance that people are often judged more for choosing not to consume it because it’s such s societal norm. And so it becomes such an immense challenge because of how much change it calls for in addition to simply choosing not to consume alcohol anymore because if you want to keep hanging around the people you’re always drinking with it basically requires that they change up the things that they do to accomodate you or you likely have to go without spending time with them and that’s just so hard. It’s even harder if you’ve lived like him where he’s drinking too much but has successfully functioned as an alcoholic where he doesn’t see the issue because it hasn’t resulted in the consequences that would make it easy to know you need to stop like losing a job or something.

[@bv3635]

From personal conviction, I have never touched any alcohol in my 60+ years. I've had a full, joyful, meaningful life with significant tragedies, mundane everydays and profound highs. There's been a lot of attempted shaming from others. People don't like it if you don't drink. I am a silent abstainer, but I've been called out publicly. It will have some tough moments, but it can be done.

[@deanaburnham9571]

❤Good for you! There by the grace of God! Worst day sober is better than best day drunk and deluded

[@julie2x]

I drank because that’s what the people around me did…. And since I felt uncomfortable socially I had to have the alcohol and eventually loved how it made me feel. It was just another way hide. I’m so happy I stopped that lifestyle.

[@9liveslisa]

He will be so much happier if he stops surrounding himself with alcoholics. And quitting drinking, of course.

[@stellarocquie7957]

With the help of a support group, and a twelve step program.

[@deuteriumjones]

Bud light ad before this one, classy

[@maxmorgan3898]

Algorithm- so close, but so far away

[@lks6248]

If he saved all the money he spends on alcohol he could have a lot of treat money for him and his wife. I have experienced the family damage caused by alcoholism. Alcohol is just the pits!

[@jengable4888]

I would agree ! A prime example is..."We have money for cigarettes, alcohol, and a massive amount of prescription pills, but no money to even go half way with you with regard to a vehicle, college, or anything else for that matter"... Right !?!

[@kellibuzzard9431]

I was thinking that too. Would be fun for him to invest/save some of that money and also spend some of it on tangible things in his life to see the benefits of not drinking.

[@betsywoolbright8059]

Never been an alcoholic but I have kicked a meth habit. Almost 4 years clean now. (I personally wouldn't call what I had an addiction... when I decided it was time to quit, I just did. Several months of thinking, "meth doesn't make me feel good anymore" was very helpful in giving me the willpower to put that pipe down and not pick it up anymore.)

[@beastshawnee]

That’s fantastic! Congrats. I always hope that for people- because meth is hell when it has you.

[@ivankrushensky]

I think it's ironic that as more and more light is shining on alcoholism, at the exact same time companies are marketing THC as "medicinal" and narcan is being handed out like candy.

[@kissmyjazz384]

Oh my gosh! Yes!

[@purpurina5663]

Oh yes. I think it's because a drunk person shows, whereas a stoned person doesn't -not right away anyways. The classic defense: "have you ever seen someone be violent after smoking a joint?" But marihuana is NOT innocuous, and I hate that they market it as so.

[@AdmiringObserverR]

​@@purpurina5663yes being lethargic or paranoid is dangerous too esp while driving

[@jeanettel4840]

I'm an AA attending alcoholic. I loved most of what you said John, you're spot on. The only thing I take exception to is in the beginning. When in doubt, sit it out. Prioritize your sobriety before ANYTHING, you're not going to be able to have the same life initially and that's ok. Reivent yourself and don't go to things that you fear will make you drink, that's ok too, it won't be forever.

[@mattyleeds1995]

Kyle seems like a fantastic person with the correct mindset. Good luck to him

[@cg741graf5]

Amazing conversation! Family cycles have deep roots: they can be ripped out! 🙏🏻

[@jengable4888]

Because the TRUTH is finally brought into the light !! 👍

[@stellarocquie7957]

And sometimes SHOULD be ripped out!

[@EllysaE]

How much? … cannot answer question. Yep!

[@THEENERGYINHALER]

I realize my drinking was habit ...so I kept drinking but switched to non alcoholic beer and found out it was the same except no hangover

[@supernothing77]

A friend of mine switched to canned seltzer water

[@CM-cy3qo]

Allen Carr book "The easy way to quit drinking" is very good

[@rosejones2932]

What Delony did not bring up was the physical damage to getting off of alcohol cold turkey in some cases. One of my favorite actors - Nelsan Ellis of True Blood died that way. He needs to talk with his doctor. He might be much more alcoholic than he is letting on.

[@stellarocquie7957]

Great comment and information. People probably don't realize that stopping cold turkey could cause seizures and/or death. Back in the old days of "12-stepping" someone, they used to bring alcohol along for the ride to the rehab, just to keep the alcoholic stable and conscious until he was dropped off at the hospital.

[@Yassin.ibn.farouk]

I think that's how amy winehouse died

[@savecowdogs]

This is Gold, Believe in self💪🏼 Its YOU vs YOU🥊

[@Chartlaub5]

What caller was very self-aware

[@Black_Jesus3005]

Thanks for sharing Kyle and Thank you John

[@Jaysterity]

I doubt anyone may read this but I really resonate with the caller, but what happens if those around you who drink all the time are family and you end up drinking just to get through the family dinner (maybe 3-5 drinks at a time)? Not my family but my in laws so I can’t really tell them they grate the heck out of me because my husband is pretty close with them. He is a stop at 2 drinks person and I just don’t have that self-control once I open the drinking tab.

[@jeanettel4840]

I read this and from my own personal experience, you have to just not go. Get into a community of recovery.

[@cg741graf5]

Best decision ever was putting alcohol down for a full year and learning to live and grow without the cost financially or health issues.

[@GalaxyFluke]

I live alone and never drink at my house. I can’t imagine thinking I need to do a few things around the house so I’ll have a drink. That’s the opposite of get things done. But I will smoke pot to get things done lol soooo

[@jennifere4641]

I stopped visiting our friends with my husband, because they all drank too much, from mid-morning to past midnight. I left the home, filed for divorce and he's now my ex-husband☮️🙏✨

[@podunk_woman]

I feel like the DSM is written for insurance companies

[@beastshawnee]

all medical stuff has become that way- Doctors have been forced to change how they treat patients or if they can at all until certain points way past when they would have treated in the 1900’s .

[@BernoullisBiggestFan]

Killed this one Dr D

[@deuteriumjones]

That label feels like a lifelong sentence to a lot of people and causes them to delay getting help.

[@scottdegroot4785]

Exactly

[@ChardeeMacdennis339]

On the flip side though if you can’t admit you have a problem you’re not going to get help or quit the behavior. Literally the first and biggest step to sobriety is taking a hard look in the mirror and admitting to yourself you have a problem. You may get help right away… you may sit with the fact that you have a problem for a while. For me it took about a year of knowing I had a problem to actually admit it to someone else and to do something about it.

[@MegaSamTheMan77]

I love that he brought up Dr. Anna Lembke. Her research is fascinating and eye opening.

[@spamnirwana]

This is so real and deep! Know a part of this. Good luck!

[@user-mu7vv7gb9f]

Put your health first, everything else will fall in line.❤

[@almcneil1923]

Sober for 7 years. If you have to ask the question, then you probably are. I’ve never met a non-alcoholic ask themselves that question.

[@arielacornfeld7953]

Delaney is changing lives!! 👏

[@YoYo_Ma]

He might start looking for the people at the BBQ who aren't drinking. There are people around him who don't abuse alcohol.

[@thomasmichaels6850]

Compare and contrast with the people at the BBQ who are always drinking as well. Listen to what comes out of their mouths too. You will likely find the worst coming out of the drinkers' mouths.

[@Mr.Rogers91]

Read the Doctors Opinion in the Big Book of AA and if it sounds like you, you need to find a local AA meeting get a sponsor that focuses on the steps and literature. This is how I finally got sober after 3 trips to rehab. Good luck to all those who still suffer.

[@stellarocquie7957]

Three is the charm! Congratulations on your hard earned sobriety!

[@kimheide4702]

Kyle is awesome. He has amazing insight despite his struggles!

[@floridanativelh568]

Awesome call😉

[@janemonroe7547]

Thank you John for clarifying and making things clear for this gentleman and others alike. Much appreciated, and i highly agree with every word. It's sad that people have no self control with there own life wheather it be what they eat or drink. They have no control of what they consume and no care how the bidy reacts and responds to it. Then they over indulge bcz again no self control, careless about if it will effect them long term or the ones around them they love, they dont care about there health & mostly people who over indulge majority of the time are miserable, sad, lonely or trying to cope with a life experience or dramatic changethey do not agree with so they consume alchol or junk food to cope to drown the pain, sorrow, and agony or what is reality and truth. Instead of standing up and taking consideration of life and loved ones around, and being in control and strong minded and focused on their mental and physical health, they let weakness consume and give in each and every time regardless and that is sad to see and for those who have to live it. There are people who will have zero dollars to their name just to spend the last $100, $50, 20, $10, $5, even beg for change just to get a 16 or 40oz. of alcohol it is sad to see & endure as a loved one, I've lost relatives to liver sclerosis and kydney failure and lung cancer from chain smoking , and on dialysis all bcz they did not care enough to love themselves as much as family did trying to keep them alive and they lost life young before 50 and right after late 30s. While their children were still growing, graduatung becoming adults they didn't get to see their grandchildren be born and show them life. Instead they drowned their life numbed their so called pain for their own greed and no self love or self control. Now family like myself get to live and learn along with share to the world that there is a better way of life and that is to live the one life you got with those you love to the fullest and not indulge in toxicity bcz of misery. Love' Light' Many Blessings 🙏💞🙏💋🙏

[@jeanettel4840]

Respecfully, you are wrong. It isn't about "self control" alcoholism is a disease. If you think someone is begging for change because they want to drink you need a wakeup call.

[@janemonroe7547]

@@jeanettel4840 sorry Honey everything falls down to Self Control & Self Worth..... Ask a professional. If one has neither they are toxic and will take anyone down with them. Too much to explain, but it is in reality facts. That's why people don't just do obsured things daily bcz they have self control & self worth.

[@janemonroe7547]

& of course alcoholism is a disease.... But so is gingivitis for the person who consumes too much sweets and does not care enough to take care of their gums and teeth...etc..etc. just as diabetes is a disease for the person who consumes unhealthy junk and doesn't cleanse, same to an alchy who over indulges and never cares to consider the harm being done to the only body they have. So yes as I stated above it all falls down to Self control, in any circumstance.

[@jeanettel4840]

@@janemonroe7547 what you're saying makes zero sense. Alcohol abuse disorder is diagnosed by professionals. Your "facts" are gobbledegook. Don't know what point you're trying to make here but it's failing, miserably.

[@vivim29]

I wasn't sure if alcohol was a problem so I gave it up for a year. There were a few times I missed it and there were lots of up and downs but I managed to complete the year. So my problem is I overdo things and sometimes that was alcohol, but it was not alcohol itself. I think one of the good qualities of a friend is accepting when someone says they are not drinking and to include them socially. Your fun should never be dependent on someone else's drinking.

[@texnewmexneen]

Such a self aware guy… how impressive!

[@johngallo4159]

I live in a county club golf course, 55 and older, in south nj...that has a bar and restaurant...and i have a shore home 2 blocks from the beach with bars ext ect...im 62...and will never stop drinking im in my last quarter of life and i have fun ,...i have plenty of money and i work out everyday, do i wake up not feeling the best sometimes, absolutely,

[@EricCubed956]

My disease grew upon me -- for what disease is like Alcohol? Alcohol! It excites me almost to madness. It brightens my wits. Why, my eyes are shining already! I was quite bewildered. I’ve been through long and obstinate silences and looked into my eyes with two filmy orbs that distilled the rheum of intoxication. From then on, I avowed his perfect willingness to swallow as much as I desired. Let’s see what a glass of good wine can do! I said it upon every occasion. My large eyes gleamed, rather than shone; for the effect of wine on my excitable brain was not more powerful than instantaneous. I placed the goblet nervously on the table and looked round with a half-insane stare at everyone who did not believe that it was evidence of god.

[@olivewoo522]

Celebrate recovery is the best program.

[@tomw485]

People are so focused on the social implications of drinking too much but totally ignore the long term health implications. Drinking multiple drinks per day 5-7 days a week is terrible for you. The level of damage you’re causing to your internal organs and the additional cancer risks are profound. I’ve seen family members die of liver failure and alcohol induced dementia. It’s an absolutely awful way to go out.

[@timberwolf5631]

This video was posted 2 years ago. I hope Kyle and his wife have been sober for 2 years now. That's the thing about THIS. The information never gets old or out of style. It was true then and it's true now. I am almost 4 years into my alcoholic recovery (not drinking at all for that long). I will always be an alcoholic. Just knowing that much of it heps alot. There will NEVER be a time when I can just have a drink without putting myself in grave danger. That's okay with me. Because sober life is beautiful, peaceful, and graceful. I did the inpatient rehab and straight to AA afterwards. It worked for me, and if I ever struggle with it (not so often now), I just make a phone call, open my Big Book, go to a meeting and spill my guts all over the table, maybe all of that. I keep myself safe from alcohol, using whatever works at the time. If you are an alcoholic who still struggles, know that there is hope for you, and know that you will come away with your entire life ahead of you.

[@JLJ8039]

I wondered at the start if he was the child of an alcoholic and could possibly be a paraalcoholic. I hope he takes the advice and gets to a counselor

[@jarrettclopton5881]

“I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic 🤔 “ “How often do you drink?” “Just daily” 😂

[@javigarciayt]

Great video

[@truthseeker6370]

Alcoholism is progressive. And no one can "do it on their own". A Very few may be able to stop drinking 'on their own', but they don't recover from the behaviors and thoughts that made them alcoholic. They don't grow, and just become negative sober people still with an alcoholic mindset. Investing in an AA group and working the steps will reveal a new perspective. It takes work to change the behaviors and thoughts that created the problem.

[@stellarocquie7957]

And insidious.

[@baddog6003]

I don't buy it. Alcoholics can also choose sobriety and replace it with healthier habits or mentalities on their own, if they so choose to fight and work for a better way. If AA works for you, cool, but I don't agree with these categorical judgments on people who once upon a time drank too much.

[@alleykeosheyan4779]

"They don't grow, and just become negative sober people still with an alcoholic mindset." It's called being a dry drunk.

[@elliottlacasse5499]

AA just wasn't for me, though I support the program and all those who benefit from it. I drank because I felt 'bored' and when at meetings I was VERY bored.

[@charlesterrizzi8311]

To quote Winston Churchill, You should get more out of alcohol than it gets out of you.

[@om617yota8]

Yeah dude, you're an alcoholic. If you can't choose to have soda or coffee instead of alcohol, as easily and with as little afterthought or anxiety, as you could choose to have a pepperoni pizza instead of the combo pizza, you're an alcoholic. The amount and the frequency one drinks can be problematic, but really isn't the core of the issue.

[@Anangelfromabove]

Yeah he has an issue but it’s not something you CANT control. That’s a big lie we’ve been told by the aa community

[@staleydu1]

@@Anangelfromabove Yep there’s parts of recovery that I think the mainstream groups miss or get wrong. But that’s the thing, it’s individual recovery. Take what works for you. You are wrong about one thing, some people can’t control it.

[@stellarocquie7957]

@@Anangelfromabove They NEVER claim that you CAN control it. In fact, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO ADMIT THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER IT. I'll bet you went to three meetings, decided that it wasn't for you, or you're NOT one of THEM, rejected the whole idea, went home, AND RELAPSED. Because YOU'RE the VICTIM, right?

[@stellarocquie7957]

@@staleydu1 If they COULD CONTROL it, they WOULDN'T BE ALCOHOLICS!

[@Anangelfromabove]

@@stellarocquie7957 No I actually haven’t relapsed for 4 years by accepting that I have control over my actions. That is exactly the problem is that we aren’t powerless over addiction. A friend of mine actually gave me a book called the freedom model and it talks about how addiction isn’t a disease and how the recovery society makes money off relapse and it’s just a whole mess that I could share with you but it would take so long haha! But yeah, I don’t think I’m a victim at all. 😊 I think the recovery society does a lot of good but the approach is wrong. I hope you find your truth just like I have. 😌

[@pcharm3711]

When the people around you are bothered by the drunk side of you, you hurt their feelings, or they express to you that it makes them think less of you, I think it's a problem. My partner quit drinking when I did which has helped me feel supported in not doing it.

[@phyllisarrington7436]

If you have to ask the question

[@MrTbager1]

His issue is that he isn’t taking accountability. He is in denial that he is the problem. He blames everyone but himself. “I have to drink because I go to the family bbq. I have to drink because I don’t want my brother in law to drink alone”. The first person you have to convince is yourself.

[@thomasmichaels6850]

The fact he was asked several times how much he was drinking a day, and gave no specific answer is a sign of denial. If he says he has a couple, you can assume it's way more.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

Yeah that is a real concern. The aspect where he pawns off his drinking to various people and events is a concern because it doesn’t take accountability for his role in his drinking and are excuses he holds onto as reasons he’s ok to drink because not drinking means he can’t go to family events and has to leave his brother in law alone. On top of that it’s an issue from the very beginning that he has to be told that he’s an alcoholic and has an issue. That says he either knows that he’s drinking too much but is denying it being an issue so needs to be told it is or that he doesn’t really think it’s an issue. But if you don’t see it as a problem on your own then you won’t feel the need to battle through the challenges that come with getting sober because you really have to embrace the fact that you have to change to do that. I think he has some good intention but he doesn’t have that conviction that tells you that he’s ready ti be done. Hope I’m wrong.

[@secondcitysurvival8404]

Took me a while to stop. Change your environment and try to find something to keep you busy good luck brother

[@ireefree2024]

Misery needs company...I'm a child of alcoholic parents... I never drunk in my life...

[@livinginoklahomacityofficial]

How do people afford to drink every day???

[@JohnnyNada]

It's like 10 bucks

[@adam-hd7kg]

People will mock you if you say anything against alcohol.

[@deepmarsh]

Alcohol Free beer is getting a lot better

[@ivankrushensky]

I never understood the point of NA beers. It's like having nicotine free cigs.

[@NovelNovelist]

One thing I've found, and admittedly this is only my experience and it's more related to diet and healthy eating, is that I do have to get to a place where I can be around people indulging in things I'm skipping for my health without succumbing or blaming them. Like if my husband is having cake -- and I LOVE cake! -- I still have to be okay with serving him cake, watching him eat cake, and just not eating the cake myself. If I'm out with friends and they order cheese fries and beer -- I just have to be able to enjoy their company and have a good time without having cheese fries and beer myself. It's not fair for me to demand everyone else around me eat and drink the way I've decided I'm going to, but I also DON'T want to give up those relationships or that time with people. And I'm sure it is very very different with alcohol...but at the same time, if he could get to a place where he can go to a boozy family barbecue or hang out with his brother-in-law who's drinking -- and just NOT drink himself but still have fun and enjoy their company, I think that would be a really good place to get to. Ultimately, he's empowered to make his own decisions, and just because everyone around him is drinking, doesn't mean he has to drink too. And it probably doesn't even need to be a big thing if he doesn't make it a big thing. In my experience at least, most people don't really care what other people are eating and drinking as long as they're not being judgey about it or getting on some high horse. A lot of times simply saying, "no thanks," or "not tonight," or, "I'm full," or "I'm not in the mood," etc without going into any other detail is more than enough for people to drop it. Recently I was at a bar with friends who were drinking before we went to a theater. And as things were winding down, one of them asked me, "Are you going to have another one before we leave?" And I laughed and held up my glass, "You mean another water?" No one had even NOTICED I wasn't drinking.

[@thomasmichaels6850]

Young daily partiers eventually turn into old drunks. One minute you're thirty and having a good time, at least you think you are, then the next thing you know you're fifty and drinking a twelve pack every day. if you do make it to sixty, it gets worse still.

[@Verase787]

💯

[@elcristoph7380]

If you’re having to ask if you’re an alcoholic, then chances are you have a problem you need to acknowledge..

[@cjlive5182]

Drinking is a vacation from stress

[@cloudymindtv85]

Soo true , the issue for me is that my vacation lasted nearly 20years

[@cjlive5182]

@@cloudymindtv85 oh no 😛

[@dramsanddecibels]

"There's nothing to do while bowling except to drink" lmao worst thing to say hahah

[@arlenefisher1164]

AA 12 step meetings.

[@baddog6003]

Might work for some or maybe even many, but not everyone.

[@debbiekoenig7376]

I'm just seeing this, but it was two years ago. I hope this guy was successful.

[@r24765]

My alcoholism is based on routine, not need. Its odd.

[@chilichickSantaFe]

How much?

[@hamsicle]

Lmao this guy. It's like listening to AA share from the guy that's clueless. I love it.

[@graceheatley9800]

If you have to exercise control over your drinking…….you have already lost control. That is your answer.

[@kato64]

If you’re wondering if you’re drinking too much or if you’re an alcoholic you most likely are. It never occurs to people who don’t have issues with alcohol to ponder these things.

[@davidmcquaid7862]

I just pretend to drink around people (pour only orange juice, pour only club soda, pour only whatever and good to go)

[@jenna8574]

My husband drinks 4 to 6 beers a night from 5:30 to 9:30, 7 days a week. I do not drink. Is my husband an alcoholic or just unhealthy?

[@ireefree2024]

It depends if he's a different person when he drinks or not. But it seems already too much... My parents are alcoholic and if they drink their minimum needed dose everything is fine but once in a while they drink too much. My mom is even more silent then usually and not present and my dad goes bananas... I never drink or rarely in two years a drink. My husband doesn't drink eather that was my prior boundary. Drinking has caused so much damage. I sorry to say that but I hope you don't have kids if your husband is like my father... Talk to him and you will see if he needs it if so set boundaries

[@JamesG1126]

Ask him if he'd rather give up drinking or give up being married. Hint: He wouldn't give up drinking for anything.

[@JamesG1126]

4-6 beers doesn't say much. Is it Coors Light or Double IPA?

[@Verase787]

Alcoholic...

[@jeanettel4840]

Read about Alanon, you can find answers.

[@lifeisbetterwiththedogs605]

I love myself more alcohol so I don’t drink and I grew up with alcoholic father I hate every minute of it. He die from motorcycle accidents because he drunk and drive. I wish he quit drinking but never happens.

[@dianethompson6804]

AA says more than 3 drinks a week is abusing alcohol.

[@TheJoemerk]

What if you only drink once a month but have like 10 beers when you do?

[@jeanettel4840]

@@TheJoemerk then like me, you oould be a binge drinking alcoholic. It wasn't how frequently I drank, it was the fact that once I started I couldn't stop.

[@TexianTrader]

AA doesn’t say that. AA says if you’re unable to stop entirely when you want to or you’ve tried to control the amount you drink when you do drink but can’t… you’re most likely alcoholic.

[@dianethompson6804]

@@TexianTrader then I heard it in Alalon!

[@sanitary103]

If you gotta ask…..might tell ya something

[@sobeliever1638]

Take care of yourself man. Don't destroy your future self.

[@JJC82]

I think the scariest part for an alcoholic is that he/she knows they will lose friends if they stop drinking because most of their friends are alcoholics or heavy drinkers and they literally base all their interactions around alcohol. I have an ex boyfriend that I love dearly and this is his case. he also hasn't hit rock bottom yet and/or had a health scare so there is no reason for him to stop. He also lied to his counselor about his drinking habits.

[@jeanettel4840]

Those aren't friends, those are drinking buddies.

[@janetmorecraft2206]

Change people places and things where alcohol is involved