How do I Stop Oversharing?! | Kati Morton

[@raywood8187]

I feel like there wasn't anyone who would listen to me growing up so I think that's why I overshare sometimes and then keep asking myself why I keep doing that.

[@kcjd10]

Ray Wood Hmmm, this gives me something to think about as I start working on figuring out why I overshare. I had issues with this growing up, as well. Glad you shared this. Thank you.

[@TURTLETIMEGAMINGOFFICIAL]

I have the same issue. Rarely spoke to my father and when I tried I was told to shut up. :(

[@TURTLETIMEGAMINGOFFICIAL]

Found myself constantly spitting out as much info as I could in as short a time as possible because it was just a matter of time before i was told to go away

[@TURTLETIMEGAMINGOFFICIAL]

Nowadays ... he doesnt even speak to me. Unless it's a holiday or somebody's birthday... nothing

[@likeabunnie]

Same here! So I actually don't agree with the video's advice for all situations... I'm glad I have some friends who I CAN share whatever thoughts I have, cause I just... Always wanted to share, and I want to know I'm worth being heard.

[@collateral7925]

Some people can and will use everything against you, so over sharing just gives them more ammunition.

[@jeffries1232]

Thats so very true . So in my view ,i only need to share if the situation warrants it .And if i feel someone is fishing for info it angers me ,i hate that

[@nn8322]

omg so true!

[@DaniielleMoniique]

My mother taught me to watch out for people like that although she doesn’t follow the principle herself... therefore we both slip up and share way too much!

[@KisDraga]

goodness... too true. Every time I thought I could trust someone and open up about some things... it wasn't long before I'd get burned in some way or another. As I "grow up:" i trust less people and just try to maintain a simple friendly acquaintance level of relationship with others,

[@karakol86]

Then it is a trust issue. I have had this happen many times.

[@larrycork1420]

I think sometimes I would overshare to reassure myself that someone cares about me

[@paulcooper5748]

That is true I've done that myself.

[@rohithkumar8375]

@@paulcooper5748 mee too

[@KreativeSoul]

Ahhh

[@ruby54696]

I do that on a daily basis lol

[@eisenhower9069]

And that's the issue. They use it against you latter

[@NotAppIicabIe]

I overshare with people I care about. I thought it was okay to bring things up in detail but I learned the hard way and it still hurts. 😩 I think maybe I have this need to share the whole situation in full detail to to avoid being misunderstood. Maybe its from people twisting my words and assuming the worse? Idk.

[@setofreakinkaiba8553]

Omg...this made me realize my family is the cause of why I'm like this.

[@lunacouer]

N A I really relate to the full detail in my overshares. I feel like I'm lying if I don't say every single part of the situation. I'm learning to reign it with friends. I know it's exhausting for them to hear the *whole* thing. Now I'm trying to figure out if I'm actually lying or not, summing things up or only sharing parts, lol. Like, am I being manipulative if I only share things I think are ok to share? If I don't say ALL the things? Oy vay, this recovering from trauma thing is hard. It's as if all your life, you were taught that 2+2=5, and now you not only have to learn that no, that was wrong and ridiculous and hurtful that someone would teach you that, you have to get used to 2+2=4. Unlearning/relearning - not easy. We all kick some serious ass that we're working on it.

[@nicoleavery7238]

It is okay but you have to make sure they care about you back

[@身赤-w3w]

@@setofreakinkaiba8553 it's always the family/who you grew up around. You didn't program your brain yourself..

[@anaa9042]

i can relate to this. i think i overshare to avoid being misunderstood as well. to “prove” that my intentions are good. i think this is still my way of trying to make up for all the trouble i got into as a teen. but it has left me more vulnerable than i feel comfortable with :(

[@hellobookworms3083]

When I got the notification, I thought the video was “How do I stop oversleeping” but this will be good too. I overshare a lot too.

[@Katimorton]

haha! Maybe that's another video idea :) xoxo

[@TURTLETIMEGAMINGOFFICIAL]

@@Katimorton do it! I find not only is oversleep an issue for myself.. but I cannot for the life of me sleep during the night. Second the sun starts coming up and the sky turns blue.. I pass out.. for the entire day asif it was nighttime. I find myself awake at night regularly. Not matter how many times I get myself sleeping normally again.. I always revert to sleeping during the day. Is there a condition for this or am I just weird?

[@alexispahlman4203]

Hunter Crumpley hahahah omg! That would be a GREAT topic to cover😂❤️

[@Lil_Geeky]

TURTLE TIME GAMING OFFICIAL try smoking indica weed or if you aren’t open to smoking, try cdb and thc extract.

[@lynncrf]

@@TURTLETIMEGAMINGOFFICIAL Yes. It's called Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder.

[@cassandra8079]

This is why I quit social media. constantly stressing about if I overshared🤭

[@MaNuLaToROfficial]

can you share a little more about that?

[@maheiramkhan]

Same!

[@dikshasaun9863]

Sme😆

[@Lyrielonwind]

I quit social media after the lockdown because a narcissist I have met a few months before ran a smear campaign. Lots of women were attacking me while men were hitting on me. I was demonized and harassed by people who didn't know me well and even people who were not in my contacts list. He must be still laughing at me and those women who harassed me are at risk of being demonized and smeared too. Don't engage into any "justice campaign"; you might be the next victim and you are causing harm to someone you don't know. I know you are not into it but just in case someone else comes to read this. Quitting social media is one of the best decision I have ever taken.

[@PGOuma]

OH YES YES YES!!! I NEED THIS!!! I JUST OVERSHARED YESTERDAY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@kanekiken5575]

Pathetic

[@tinaleonie5811]

Ikr

[@FaidraP.]

@@kanekiken5575 silly you, totally.

[@pjt978]

Ohh yyhhhhhhh 🤔

[@simangelemilicentkatsande7359]

I do it all the time 😥

[@Syklonus]

I have ADHD so the problem is that oversharing can seem like the best idea at the time, but 2 minutes later it feels like you've exposed too much and are humiliated. There's a real urge to share when you get stimulated though, so it's a real problem.

[@shannondarnell4905]

I'm still working on it. I seek the validation I never got. I used to feel like I was just being honest with people. I never saw anything wrong with it before I knew " what it was" and "why" I was doing it. I've come a long way. I'll get there. Love your videos.

[@littlemakers2786]

This is me to a t

[@UnrulyHousewife]

I do this, partly because I try to make people laugh and overstepping the mark can be funny. I think people often find it simultaneously amusing and terrifying. Like, they think you are hilarious and entertaining but they don't want you as an actual friend, because you are too much.

[@zineelabidine7256]

Omg i can relate to this

[@ashleigh4796]

This is me. And I had a friend tell me the other day I was too much for them at first, but now they’re getting used to me. Which sounds like a compliment but really hit me hard. Then I overshared all night after that comment because when I feel awkward I run my mouth… It made the situation so much worse.

[@LauraPalmerD]

I am an oversharer, but noone in my family is. My parents were undersharers, they didn't share anything with us or each other or people around them. So were my grandparents. My family is full of secrets actually. My brother doesn't share anything either with anyone. I am a complete oversharer... I think it is because noone shared anything with me and also because I was physically and emotionally abuses throughout my childhood and teens, so I was not cared for. Also, I actually care about other people's stories so I give what I wish other's would share too...except noone else wants to share personal stuff..

[@pocketmonkeydfdgfdgd]

i feel this so much

[@da45r]

Sorry this is late but I am Soo sorry for you I wish I could give you a hug 😔

[@margaretalvarenga3573]

can sooooo relate in terms of no one wanting to share personal things with me:(

[@skknnn1859]

This is my life so I totally get it

[@TheSolitary1]

I literally could have wrote this about me. I am trying hard to start the process if not sharing so much about me and others.

[@PlanetImo]

I've learned to share less and less as I've got older and lost my naivety. In the past, I have confided in people I've trusted too early on only to have it used against me later. It's not so bad being in my forties. :¬) Older and wiser.

[@seanceknowles2911]

I’ve been very black and white with stuff like this. Being so closed and not letting anyone in or talking about things at all for a very long time amd then all of a sudden oversharring with some people. I find it when I do talk and over share with ppl who I don’t really know or will probably never see again. Like someone I start a nice conversation and then boom I can’t stop.

[@_ZiXin_]

Daddy Dan Is Here! Omg same and I feel so bad afterwards like why did you talk about your ex with a total random stranger?

[@cody0412]

Exactly the same I've been closed to myself until recently and I hate it

[@liat807]

Wow attachment and trauma ruining even more of my life??? Crazy. Who would have thought

[@amirrhodesve791]

The sarcasm is perfect with this one

[@cyndigooch1162]

lia t Unfortunately, I totally "get" what you mean by this comment and hope you're okay. ❤

[@ashlielove6513]

Thank you Katie. I used to think being an open book was a virtue. Now I realize that as an adult I no longer have that luxury. Boundaries are definitely something I'll have to be cognizant of from now on. I just feel like I cant find a healthy medium.

[@aNaturalist]

I feel that way too. I saw it as a good thing.

[@nn8322]

The struggle of ppl wanting you to overshare, when you have said over and over again I don't feel comfortable sharing this...ppl need to understand that oversharing does not bring you closer, let your significant other naturally share things with you if they want, ONLY if they want. don't force ppl to tell you things. thank you so so much for this video. I now know I made the right decision based on my boundaries.

[@Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Did someone say boundaries?? 😂😂 Thanks Kati ♥️

[@seedy6538]

Overshare from trauma. No filter! Trying 😁😅

[@fujoshipeanut5074]

I like oversharing. And I like when other people overshare to me. It does make me feel closer to them.

[@JudithPieters]

I used to not share at all, with no one for five years of self harming and other big things going on in my life, but now that I started talking to some people, I find it really really hard to not get too attached to the sharing and to this person and the attention they give me. It makes me scared to scare people away with my sharing and with how much I feel like I need them and how thankful I am for their attention... Do you know how not to get too attached to those few people I talk to and not to scare them away or make them feel like I'm too much depending on them?

[@ShaneBlackheart]

I deal with this myself and I have experienced a lot of this. I'm still trying to figure this out too, but I have BPD so I know that's why a lot of that happens for me.

[@chaonis24601]

From my experience: 1. Keep checking in if they think you depend on them to much and let them know it's okay to step away if your mental health issues are having an effect on their mental health. 2. Make your support structure big enough so that your friends know that you have other people you can rely on when they are not available. 3. Take a break every once in a while if you get too attached to someone. I usually get semi romantic feelings for close friends and I know it's best to take a step back and see them a little less regularly for a couple of weeks until those feelings pass. Also, talk to a counselor/therapist about your specific situation. Good luck!

[@gyneve]

Super relatable

[@firewolfx1038]

This happens to me all the time but end up staying really distant and alone just to ensure I don’t get attached

[@DaniielleMoniique]

I want the cure too... I get way too attached and end up getting hurt😔

[@lost-tears25]

For me, the reason I used to (and still sometimes do) overshare is because I want to tell a person a lot about my mental health for example, so that if they can’t handle it and would eventually leave me if they found out, I would rather know before I get attached. Can anyone else relate? Although, I think also my mother oversharing all of my life to me could also be a factor but I didn’t realize it until this video.

[@bluetrapp9502]

For me, I really like telling everyone everything. I crave being understood, so I like to let as many people as possible know me as deeply as possible. I just tend to get bad reactions to it where it seems like things get a little awkward after because it seems like people aren’t comfortable hearing that kind of information, maybe because it’s kind of dark sometimes like I’ll be open and honest about my depression or memory problems or the abuse I got when I was a kid. I don’t think I go on too long about it but just saying something sort of negative like that seems to make people shut down because they don’t know how to respond to it. And exactly like you said, I feel guilty. But again I really love oversharing xD I feel like it’s kind of part of my identity, being an open, caring person who doesn’t hold back and allows for deep personal connections and creates a space for others to share their real feelings too.

[@xXxphenomenaxXx]

Dude people I feel are so used to repressing and oh don't talk about that unless it's family...what of you aren't close with them or it's just who you are? I feel why even be friends with those who are uncomfortable with those subjects..I'm sorry but the world isn't perfect and we all have problems..people really do need to start listening more and less judgemental. So tired of this society that wants weather conversations. Besides what if it happened to someone they knew. I just feel it's up to the person to share or not

[@ameldoula7419]

I overshare and I am very emotional and when I am tired it is worst. I feel judge if I do not and I feel judge if I do. I regret it makes me feel vulnerable. I overshare to make people like me, to make friends, to protect myself "see how I am, I am strong and intelligent you cannot attack me". I overshare to promote myself . At the end it makes more damage than anything and it makes me feel vulnerable. Deeply when I do stupid things like that I think "Ho no you are clever than that. Loneliness too makes overshare, I want to connect to other people. On this matter I feel unsecure, I think that if I do not talk people will ignore me. I also think that it is another way to get rid of my thoughts due to the overthinking...

[@Fifi2Fifi1]

Just spoke about this with a friend yesterday! I was telling her how I keep going between two mindsets- Idgaf and tell people anything, I don’t care that they’ll judge; and caring too much and wanting to erase myself from everyone who knows any slightly personal thing about me. And I’m putting a lot of effort into not over-sharing right now.:DD

[@gabrielle-d1b]

Same

[@theopinionisthighqualityopinio]

I do it all the time now. Big time! I'm 60 yrs old and my twin soul /husband died of cancer two years ago. We used to talk non stop. Even though other people think that I'm just fine and dandy (because I fake it for their sake) I haven't recovered at all and am in a SEVERE depression and have been for two years. I overshare because I have no one to talk to at all. I don't care about anything, so forget therapy. The reason I've written this is to explain that oversharing can come from severe loneliness too. I've never overshared in my life before now and was a strong and self confident woman. So, that's that about me. Anyway, this is a VERY important topic!! Thanks for the video!!

[@dakine4238]

The Opinionist High Quality Opinions I agree. Thanks for sharing sending you ❤❤

[@theopinionisthighqualityopinio]

@@dakine4238 Thank you! Like I said, it used to be something that I never did and didn't quite understand. Unfortunately, now I do. I really appreciate the fact that you listened to me. One of the lessons I've learned in the past two years is that there are a lot of lonely people out here and listening is an incredible gift to them and to me. I really appreciate your response to me!!! 🌞☺️🌞

[@chaonis24601]

Any chance on a video about HSP (hypersensitivity)? And I don't mean one about the strenghts of it or the positive aspects but one on coping mechanisms and how to deal with the downsides and emotional breakdowns that come with having to walk away from social gatherings.

[@hvideulv2617]

That would be Nice

[@hikaru8127]

I write down my feelings or what is going on before I go counseling. Then I choose which one I want to share with my counselor and circle or underline which I choose. It helps me a lot.

[@margaretalvarenga3573]

love that, thank u

[@eladia8512]

I overshare even though I know my boundaries. Sometimes I do it because I want people to think that the subject I'm talking about shouldn't be so controversial (like talking about when I went to therapy) and sometimes I overshare because I want to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Some things I regret saying afterwards, even months later, and other I'm proud of talking about, of opening up. So I do agree, practice is important, it's important that you find out what you can talk about and what makes you regret talking about.

[@blueberry_grape5795]

Wow this really opened my eyes to how much i overshare and how that's not necessarily healthy. I've grown up with parents that always overshared to me, so i guess i felt it was normal. I'll try to fix this, but thank you for helping me realize my internal struggle with this matter :)

[@cynsen]

When I had a left brain stroke, I lost my language, and all my boundaries. I often overshare, mostly because I don't feel the difference between closeness, just like you said. I'm trying to be better. It's been eleven years, I have to thank everyone who made me like I am today. Able to talk, and work, and really appreciate how lovely everything is! Good video!

[@laczkaeszter]

I overshared a lot of things to my boyfriend about my anxiety and maladaptive daydreaming. I thought I can trust him. He told everything to his parents behind my back, and now they see me as an instabil and hysterical person. It's just a part of the story, but it hurts. I did wrong things, mistakes, it's my fault too. Now I don't dare to tell him about my mental health.

[@catnotmylastname1545]

Now you know that you cannot trust him. Time to cut bait.

[@sophiatrabelsi1000]

Hope he's an ex now

[@Raminakai]

That’s a deal breaker for many people. He may be immature- which is okay, but is this who you want to be with? You are not married yet. You still have time to get out.

[@lajellybeans]

I am not an oversharer, I am mostly a closed off person, but two things that I keep in mind before sharing anything personal with anyone is: 1) how close I am to the person. I would never ever share my problems with someone I just met or don’t know very well. Trust me, some people do not have your best interest in their heart and will use any thing you share with them against you. 2) If the person has ever shared anything personal with me. My first rule is something that i always keep in mind, but if someone shares something personal with me and later I share something personal with them, that makes us even. I hope this helps!

[@arielishere176]

I have a friend who told me his entire life story and why he's depressed It came so suddenly I felt so sad for a week after that.

[@hermetickitten]

Hello Kati 💕 Can you please make a video on how to set healthy boundaries with viewers, especially those who struggle with mental health and depend on the interaction with us creators? These videos help immensely, thank you for making them!

[@claireb3004]

I absolutely love this video. I am someone who recovered from alcoholism and opiate addiction back in 2007. In the early days of my recovery, I found that I shared way too much with anyone who asks and I often felt uncomfortable about it afterwards. Then, I went to another extreme, to where I never shared anything because I was scared of sharing too much. I still struggle with sharing anything at all even with the people closest to myself, but I'm starting to find those boundaries slowly but surely.

[@2wesx]

Sometimes I think I overshare because my mom tried to hide a lot of abuse as I was going through it. I just wanted to find a way to get help. I know I don’t need rescuing now, but sometimes my brain forgets that.

[@lauriemtz8616]

Yes! I need this. I just over shared 5 minutes ago. The family member said, we have to be careful with what and how much we share if we don’t like what people will offer up. I can tell I’m in need of something from them like understanding/validation. Also in trauma recovery.

[@fromscratchauntybindy9743]

Holy shirt... this explains so much about me... but often I feel like my oversharing is being 'social/friendly/confident' but afterwards realise people are annoyed by me... something I really have to work on! Thank you Kati

[@TripleRoux]

I tend to overshare when I'm nervous. Is that the attachment thing? 😅 thank you so much for talking about this topic, it gave me a lot to think about and I will most definitely journal about my feelings on it! Great inspiration! 💖

[@Laura-zc3ee]

Same too! It is the discomfort with silence. I also think it might be ADHD related.

[@1janitra]

when this video showed up in my notifications, i couldn't stop thinking about it. Oversharing is one of my worst regrets. Especially if it happens with wrong people. Two of the three reasons you mentioned are relatable to me. Thank you so much! You make things sound easier to manage. Cheers!

[@alyssavelastegui5259]

I’ve always struggled with boundaries and trying to understand when I should stop sharing. I’m very embarrassed about it, but I really am trying to change so thank you ☺️ this is really helpful!!

[@ShukriAbdulle-w6u]

It can be a blessing to over sharing ppl to confuse so they can never guess your next move and exhausting your enemy

[@LBell]

Great topic! I tend to undershare, it gets frustrating for those around me 🙃

[@river_grant]

Amy M. My partner undershares, except with me kinda, which is putting a lot of responsibility on me as he really goes through some stuff right now. If you feel comfortable answering this, which I know you might not, eapecially as an undersharer, BUT Do you have any ideas as to why somebody might undershare, as in maybe a root cause or feeling behind this behavior?

[@LBell]

Hannah Wilson I don’t mind answering at all. I can’t say to your partner’s reasons to why he does, but if I’m being honest with myself, I think it comes from my past trauma and vulnerability. Vulnerability is a huge struggle for many, and when I share things (even the littlest of things that may not seem significant) it replays in my head over and over. I over-analyze it and make it seem bigger than it really was. With childhood trauma, I was left vulnerable and taken advantage of, and I guess undersharing is my coping mechanism to not be put into that type of situation again. I really hope you’re able to help your partner with what he may personally be struggling with, best of luck.

[@RedigenRabotu]

I have found that oversharing to me is being triggered by loneliness and sadness, as well as a general lack of topics to bring up in a conversation. All of these are again caused by the stuff mentioned in the video. Sometimes, I just try to say nothing at all but still be there in a discussion. This video helped, thank you Kati :)

[@tymo9288]

I over share all too often! Once I realize I'm doing so, I shut down. I struggle to find a middle ground. This video was very informative.

[@AbbyFosterlol]

im a huge over-sharer! As for why, you hit the nail on the head with the second common reason for me- attatchment. I feel like i impulsively constantly reach out for attention from people and need to be vulnerable as a way of filling the space that my emotionally neglectful parents left empty.

[@sussybaka5322]

Oh lord, I freaking needed this video; oversharing is my biggest flaw; my friends had to talk to me so many times because of this and I even lost a few.

[@temporarilyblond]

I have overshared things with people that has later used what I told them against me. You have to be careful who you tell what. I still do it sometimes but I’m a bit more careful.

[@vikkiikki1226]

Oh boy, this is like a description about me. I overshare a lot! Every time you said "or" it's like you were saying, "and" while describing me. I know it makes people really uncomfortable but it feels so hard to stop! I absolutely go from oversharing to saying nothing at all! I CONSTANTLY regret oversharing! I'm also hypersensitive so when I make people uncomfortable I KNOW it and feel SO bad. Especially because I feel like I can't stop from oversharing. Then I go back to shutting down and sometimes they take that as the SILENT TREATMENT and it isn't. I haven't learned good boundaries yet and I have been isolated most of my life so I haven't accepted boundaries are something I am allowed to have for myself but rather they're something I need to help other people enforce. Sooo thank you for making this.

[@ahha351]

I am always shy ,quite and never open up too much...but sometimes I just open up way too much....🤦 But when I do so I enjoy that, because, I feel like, now this is what I am... without caring about what others will think about be...I just feel free

[@jonbanks653]

I used to over share and learned the hard way tyhat anything I say can and will be used against me. as long as I keep reminding myself of that it keeps me quiet

[@lajellybeans]

I used to be quite a closed off person but then started oversharing with people who I didn't know well, but I thought were safe to open up to and I learned my lesson the hard way to never do that again. From now on I only open up to people who I've been extremely close friends with for many years, and a few family members. I don't mind when people overshare with me, though. It shows that I give a trustworthy vibe and I'm pretty open minded.

[@AidynNichi]

5:45 hit hard, but in a good way, I promise. Thank you for this video.

[@dianelien2878]

This was great. I am realizing my mother was an extreme oversharer. Understanding “why” she was that way is helping me see I DO NOT NEED to be this way. Her reasons and thinking she needed to explain in total detail makes sense now. She developed brittle diabetes-very difficult to manage. One day-energy, next day-none. She felt unable to make a logical, rational decision in things she wanted to plan on doing. Plan and simple for a healthy person. Follow through. Mature and Responsible is the way it is viewed by the “normal” healthy people!!! Accurate for the average normal person. But NOT for those having to take their personal health challenges in to consideration. It was not poor self esteem or a lack of confidence that changed my mother. It was her diabetic condition and lack of acceptance of herself with this added difficulty . She was the same person, but not really- she had to operate under a whole new battlefield of conditions- fear of going blind, going into an insulin reaction or coma, fear of getting gangrene in an infection and losing a limb, constantly having to pay attention to her diet. She could no longer be the carefree and happy person she was used to being, add to that my birth when she was 42 years old. It must have been a nightmare. (CPTSD in me explained!!!). She was no longer able to operate or expect “normal” from herself. She could not accept it- the unpredictability of her health, or did not know how to allow herself the “grace” she needed so she could continue to love herself and the faith and trust to relax. She did not realize she had a right to expect good and respectful treatment from others. She deserved that and was very loved but could not see that love for herself. She “self sabotaged” constantly when she could no longer fit the “normal” mold. I have been repeating this oversharing to give myself validation that I do not need to do!!

[@RoseMagpie]

I just tell anyone anything and i rarely notice ive overshared. Told a lady i met on the bus once all about my past

[@tess2082]

5:00 wow, this was so accurate. I knew i'm oversharing, but thought it was just because i don't have many close friends, so needed to get it out. I had no idea my parents' behaviour could have been the cause. Thank you for this video i didn't know i needed. Understanding why i'm doing something usually helps me work on it. I don't have money for a therapist, so you are all i've got. Wait.. am i oversharing in this comment?

[@Tina-jw6ru]

YES YOU ARE AND I AM THE SAME I JUST FIGURED OUT THAT

[@RMarie2020]

Yes and no. In essence we are all sharing this subject so it's not really over sharing in this thread

[@loissemanek1715]

Thanks for this video. As a codependent we need to pay more attention to crossing other peoples boundaries yet there are not videos on this topic. This is one of the defining behaviors of codependent relationships because we are often are care taking and giving unsolicited advice. Over sharing about our perceived victimization is part of the reaction because we can't fix them. I was over sharing how freaked out I was to everyone. Than I went to meetings and the isolated feelings I had where understood. It takes courage to face yourself. Writing in a journal helps me not dump everything on people and have healthier relationships.

[@brendonlee9345]

It’s comforting seeing other people comment relatable things. I recently over shared a bit of information about myself to someone I was interested in, and it ended up backfiring immensely. I think oversharing and trusting others too much might be one of my biggest weaknesses.

[@bookish4471]

That "welcome" makes me happy

[@Jo-lp1px]

Mindfulness helps me curb oversharing. My grandma and mom definitely overshared. However when I'm tired that filter goes down, but I'm much better overall, thank God.

[@artisticallyscrunchies5390]

Thank you, I am realizing how not having someone there for me when I was younger is impacting me. Thank you for your tips

[@flubby18]

Thank you so much, Katie. I'm not a certified therapist or a doctor but I do advise people with disorders to get into therapy and advise therapists on how to read their patients better.

[@maddie8415]

Thank you for mentioning how trauma can impact this. I've recently realized that my oversharing moments almost always come from this fear of being misinterpreted, or simply needing to somehow "justify" myself to everyone else. This need for the other person to understand me can open the information floodgates farther than I'd like. And it really is from growing up with a narcissist in my life that I was unable to escape, who always twisted my words, character, and intentions to degrade me. It's like I expect the same treatment from others. Being aware of this is the only way to work on it.

[@yashaswivunnava6699]

I am really vulnerable. I shared this video to a few friends halfway through the video.

[@Marci-sr8hc]

Hey Kati! Thank you so much for doing this video. I love it. I recently was struggling with this issue with my two best friends. The three of us have a group text and talk everyday. I didn't want my over sharing to push them away, so I took a picture of a stop sign and put it as my cell phone screen background. It was an easy way to remind myself that I didn't have to report every thought and feeling to them.

[@On1_Ryu]

You know.. the first question... Was not from me, but it LITERALY sounds like me. And i am SO happy i found this video. You helped me alot.. thank you.

[@Amy-ms6wj]

I actually like people like this. I like feeling trusted, wanted, and needed. I think if you find the right people they will like this about you; because they like you. I don't have a problem with people that 'overshare' why should we? Because it's not 'normal'? What's wrong with someone being honest, and telling us what personal things are going on in their lives? It's real. It lets others know they aren't alone in what they are experiencing and feeling. I don't get why sharing anything is 'over-sharing'...that's ridiculous. If you're close with someone, you should share a lot. Why is this something that needs to be 'fixed'??? And the people that use this info against you shouldn't be in your lives anyway.

[@xXxphenomenaxXx]

FUCK YES!!!!!!

[@amberrichards2778]

I used to lie all the time, and a part of getting out of that cycle was being truthful every time I could, but I found that it turned into compulsive oversharing instead. I'm finally finding a good medium, but it was tough to set the new boundaries I never imagined I would need.

[@kcjd10]

Ohmygosh! Talk about perfect timing! I'll be starting a new job soon and I've been telling myself over and over to not overshare like I have at previous jobs. I've been stressing about this quite a lot, actually, and wondering how I'm going to keep my mouth shut. I'll have to sit down in a quiet space and try to figure out why I've done this in the past. I know that when it's happening, it's like I start feeling really anxious during what should be just a casual conversation, and if there's any silence and the person is looking at me, I'll just start blurting out more, and more. I instantly feel regret and get so mad at myself. Thank you for this. I have some work to do. 💖

[@kcjd10]

Started new job this week. Already overshared a couple of times. Had to find this video and watch again. 😒 So disappointed in myself.

[@dvandervan]

I tend to over share (not always) but this video gave me Alot to think about and to change some of my ways and to protect my peace.

[@deen1134]

Yes I struggle with that and I have realized there’s more trauma related to this for me than I thought 😔

[@jawanauselton9197]

I've never felt heard or understood, so I tend to pour out all my feelings to whoever will listen. I'm getting better about it but it's still a struggle

[@sarahram4102]

It's a learned behavior my mom over shared ALOT. I'm working on putting an end to that! Great video btw..

[@bryannguyen8440]

Thanks Katie for having Sean aka Jack on your channel! Learned a lot from you!

[@AlejandraGallo]

This made me feel so much better.

[@xyhanx]

I FEEL LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO SENT YOU THAT MESSAGE. I have been feeling the same way lately. People I trusted did not take me seriously. :'(

[@VanishedDecoy]

Thank you for clarifying that it's crossing our OWN boundaries rather than that of others.

[@elevenbyfive]

I go from one extreme to the other with this. I'm either Fort Knox or Niagara Falls!! And the worst part is, I never know which is gonna happen and it doesn't feel like I'm in the driving seat because i've never understood it or known what to do. It's weird how sometimes you get so used to something that you don't see it until someone points it out, even though it's bothering you a lot. This was so so helpful, Katie!! I especially liked what you said about it feeling uncomfortable when you try to change, because it's unfamiliar. I think that's what keeps me stuck. Every time I go against my usual behaviours, it feels 'wrong', so it keeps the cycle going. Acknowledging that alone is a huge help! And so is all the rest of your advice and insight. Thank you, and thanks so much to whoever asked this question!.

[@juliand2709]

You're videos are so helpful!

[@sophiaGmcrz]

This video couldn't have come at a better time. Seriously. I'm a big time "oversharer" and your video was so introspective itself!! Thank you for always putting out these informative and introspective videos on mental health. We really need more people like you in our world ❤❤❤❤❤ ilysm!

[@Duncanmn]

As someone with ASD and executive function issues... this is a mood.

[@emmelinesprig489]

I don’t share enough most of the time. Most of my boundaries are very, very rigid. But sometimes I overshare with my closest friends, and it has bad repercussions because then they think everything I say is free game to talk about with others or to joke about. So now I’m learning about being less diffuse with some people. Thanks for teaching me that word, haha, and for teaching me so much about mental and emotional health!

[@pri22v11]

@katimorton you are truly a very talented therapist! Thank you so much for posting this. I have been wondering why I overshare this has provided me with so much clarity in a very condensed and efficient manner. I wish you all success in your endeavours so you can continue to help people!

[@rachel9562]

I have never needed a video so much. I was struggling with severe anxiety post trauma and never spoke to anyone about it, then had a year of therapy and now I can't stop talking about it??? Which is good but only with the right people, not with people I don't know well or when the situation isn't appropriate. Close friends/ family and healthcare professionals are the right people for me to speak to but I need to work more on not telling the whole world. Thank you for this video ❤️

[@rick3747]

Another stellar video from Kati. Thank you.

[@SLSnare012]

I’ve struggled with over sharing which I work on. Changing the subject works for me

[@attyiaturRehmanNasira]

This video appeared just in time. I am an over sharers and have always faced problems due to it, in fact almost all the problems I face are usually because of this habit 🤔 thanks Kati, your videos help me identify the reasons behind things that i want to change in myself thus making me tackle those issues with a better insight❤️❤️ you are great and i love ur videos very much ❤️

[@geoffreybrooks1220]

Great perspectives in the comment section. Glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Don’t give up! ❤

[@sin-2442]

This is what I’ve been searching for ages...you’re a life savior!!! Didn’t even watch the video but I just had to comment this.💞

[@robertgomez6368]

I have Aspergers.I'm a very blunt person with no filter.People know I'm different they just don't know why? I told my testimony about 5 years I don't regret being open.A person came up to me telling me I was bold and very inspiring.

[@ssgobin]

Yes! Thank you so much for this! I think I overshare for ALL the reasons you mentioned. I just started therapy recently. I had an epiphany today that a lot of the problems I have with my fellow human beings are because I over share. You popped up when I looked for a video about this problem. Thank you again! Great info to get me started!

[@pinkwing2979]

Hi Katie! I was wondering if it was considered “normal” to fear that other people around us are able to read our minds? I’ve always had this fear but it has gotten worse recently and I have started having anxiety attacks about it when I go out in public.

[@Katimorton]

It could have something to do with your anxiety.. or another mental health issue. Because most people do not worry about someone reading their minds... so I would reach out to a professional for some support :) xoxo

[@Whimswirl]

Pink Wing lol it's impossible to read people's minds

[@Spencergrey512]

This is so me, I’m terrified my coworkers can read my mind

[@Cessie93]

This happens to me too, I think it's part of my anxiety. It really sucks, because I do know that people can't read minds, and the fear is totally irrational, but then again... WHAT IF? It's common for people with anxiety disorders to have irrational fears.

[@AlexGee619]

Serene Jaamac do you not know how anxiety works? Sometimes logic doesn’t work because anxiety is that “what if” that won’t stop.

[@saumyasawleshwarkar8259]

Wow I really needed this!! Love you, Kati!!

[@storytellerhut3488]

This is so so needed and there is so much in this video for everyone! I am an undersharer now with therapy I am sharing more but often have that shame and regret after I tell someone something more than just very superficial things. I found this video to really help me look at and understand what is really important and what sharing with someone really needs to be about. Thank you Kati for all your hard work!

[@dissonantiacognitiva7438]

Great information for neurotypicals Somewhat harder to implement for neurodivergents

[@azzybC]

Oh my god this makes so much sense for me........ God bless you being here on talking about these things. I've learned to many things that apply to me and I always that there is something wrong with me, but it's not. It all makes so much sense. You're amazing

[@rewildrevolution]

I developed the habit of over sharing because of many of the healing arts within the New Age community, such as Authentic Relating, Eye gazing communication exercises, sharing circles, etc. I have walked away from those communities and find myself continuing to do this, to my own detriment.

[@rosalindafortier2702]

This is so helpful! I struggle with too diffuse boundaries when it comes to sharing my story, but too rigid boundaries when it comes to confrontation or conflict. If I am offended by something someone did, I hardly EVER say anything and I just try to deal with it myself and pretend it will go away. I think I end up gaslighting myself, like I try to figure out what I can do to avoid that happening again, but I never let the other person know how I’m feeling.

[@tdogdamuhfukka]

It's always good to know yourself and how you get around situations and know what to do after. I'm still learning this and it's hard but I'm getting enough to help myself, and i know that what I do is enough. Thank you

[@soda1850]

I never share anything I don't talk much in real life but online I have accounts where I am anonymous and where I tend to overshare a lot through ranting. It's quite nice. Apart from that I don't tell anyone anything about myself and only talk about shallow things with my friends, not because I want to I just genuinely don't know how you do when you open up to someone. Some friends know more about me because they've opened up and talked about themselves and hardships they have or had etc. and in such cases I am more capable of doing the same if I relate to what they're saying and have felt similar things.

[@jellyfish_adventures9877]

I'm interested in learning more about attachment issues and how that can push us to so strongly want other people to want to be really close to us.