Stop telling people your business.

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[@RaymondStone]

But Kell-Bell, I just want everyone to know about my rash!

[@angiedarnel6861]

Lol😂

[@sandieheron8819]

😂😂😂

[@LULUandBELLA]

😂😂😂

[@goodgirlsguide]

.. and when corona is over, the ladies you date will need to know and remember that.

[@camilleb32]

*Screaming*!!!.... 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@AllSeeingThai]

“If they don’t know your dreams, then they can’t shoot them down.”

[@chanela.7786]

This right here👆. Some of the closest people in our lives can be nay sayers and energy drainers which is why it’s best to not reveal your plans but allow your results to speak for you

[@leesteal4458]

They can't destroy what they don't know exist.

[@overeasy_sean251]

This wisdom is mine now

[@amiralions2681]

Amen!

[@janedoll3237]

So true

[@kayleighrasmussen6187]

Nothing worse than thinking back on the times you overshared. extra cringe

[@RubiscoTalks]

True that.

[@DASHBARKS]

AGREED 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Ami_Hime]

Ughhhh 😭😭😭

[@marissamacon2936]

Omg yes 🤢

[@astridveronicaixehuatlgonz729]

Yep. That's why I decided to take a little rest for social media the last year, for a month. I highly recommend it.

[@karisap]

I think there's a fine line between vulnerability and oversharing. It's really about right place, right time, right person. Social media is rarely any of those things.

[@froggytea3583]

Could you please explain the difference between the two?

[@KellyStamps]

agreed

[@8link]

@@froggytea3583 vulnerability comes with trust. u share the personal things with people you know and who know you, ie family, friends. its done in the privacy of a home or space with no one but the two of you. the information you plan to share mustve been something you took decisive time to understand and accept before you shared. oversharing would be with anyone, anywhere, and impulsively acted on. telling strangers, coworkers your business out in the open/public spaces would be oversharing.

[@riabouchinska]

How about at work… still recovering from the trauma of having an oversharing coworker who was also a loud talker with a confoundingly annoying laugh

[@Borboleta1212]

Very well said! ❤

[@motc8238]

I keep destroying boundaries because I want people to understand me as a person and to hear my feelings, but this gives me a whole different perspective.

[@rdsa1]

beautiful to witness change takings its place, relatable. very happy for u

[@xaviermartinez9688]

we all in this together fr

[@lleynem1426]

The biggest and hardest part in growth as adult IS understanting this : it's not because you keep talking everything about you to a person you like ( or you want as a Friend , or from who you want love) that that one person or group of persons will like and/or understand you, or share their own secrets with you

[@KellyStamps]

It's ok we're learning!

[@DanniBby]

@@lleynem1426 so then what is it that would make someone understand you better? What should you do to create understanding?

[@Stephanie-hn3yn]

Sometimes I think people over share because they’re lonely.

[@idrk1507]

I think you're stalking me

[@Janelle_Talks]

Meeee

[@thirstonhowellthebirdandfriend]

Some overshare because as trauma survivors who endure years of projection, accusations and gaslighting fueled smear campaigns their reality was denied and survivors were accused of lying so it’s really sad how being invalidated causes a person to be desperate for validation and talk fast and overshare desperate to be heard. Once you heal all that stops then you’re left thinking omg wthfk did I say all that for...oh well lol.

[@audreymay9378]

@@thirstonhowellthebirdandfriend Yep. Traumatized people over share as a coping mechanism for their trauma.

[@audreymay9378]

I think people over share because they have a lot they maybe dealing with

[@davidresch390]

Talk to people like your talking to the police...always say LESS than necessary

[@bujitea8522]

God bless Robert Greene

[@saragarofano9727]

Life shouldn't be being on edge

[@quatreunhuit]

you're*

[@staceyshine247]

If you didn't get busted don't discuss it." LOL

[@MusicMAAD]

Omg. Yes.

[@harveythecat]

Don’t stay quiet but be selective about what you share and with whom

[@TheBeautyRebel]

That part .

[@BoostedPastime]

Yes

[@Colesbaby1999]

Nah stay quiet 🤐

[@emilyantonia197]

I’ve been guilty of this. I remember oversharing because I felt I could make a more genuine connection because I was being “real.” When I didn’t get the same sharing back I felt embarrassed, I resented people when they weren’t willing to tell me about themselves in the way I did for them. Even though I would feel really uncomfortable and vulnerable when I overshared I felt it was still better than being cold and closed off. This ended up with me completely isolating myself because I couldn’t handle the emotional exertion that came with sharing myself with others. I guess it’s about balance, not feeling that you need to offer every part of yourself or avoid the relationship completely, but taking the time to feel out what is comfortable for you and the person you’re with.

[@KellyStamps]

It is indeed about balance!

[@autumnshennae0687]

Wow I relate

[@Yana-tf1he]

I definitely relate to that I am open to tell you anything and beyond since I’m hopeful of hearing it back and discovering new interesting lives and perspectives I think I will continue to share and if the person doesn’t share back I will also not do it, because sharing makes me feel better it makes me excited and it’s exciting hearing others. Of course, there are boundaries like work or total strangers you shouldn’t share to, but overall total privacy seems suffocating and lonely, to me

[@MonaAlHmood]

I resonate with you and feel you .. we are learning and developing what happened in the past. May not repeat if we take responsibility for being conscious of our decisions.

[@TheAleksandrea]

I find that sadly people don't want meaningful relationships. Surface talk, lets disguise the weather. It is odd to me to hear people calling everyone a ''friend'' to then discover they have none.

[@gayemarianesfox2405]

“Not everyone wants to see you win” TRUTH

[@Jenniferspace]

So true

[@amalkardaly1652]

Very few actually do..

[@victoriacrudup3477]

So very true there are only a few people in the world who truly want to best for you.

[@emmaleo1782]

I am an overexplainer, I know I shouldn't...

[@louern123]

so sad

[@TheLaurenShow1]

"Talk less. Smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for."

[@moonchild708]

you can't be serious 😂

[@Kattailyst]

@@moonchild708 you wanna get ahead

[@moonchild708]

@@Kattailyst yes

[@Kattailyst]

@@moonchild708 fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

[@ayanchs]

Aye yo yo what time is it

[@carolineeccel5387]

I'm naturally a quiet person. People would ask why I'm so quiet so I would try to be more talkative, saying too much like you said. I didn't like myself. Now I'm back to my true self, quiet and I like it. Keeps them guessing. Thank you so much.

[@newinvention1977]

Same! Quiet and loving it

[@carolineeccel5387]

@@newinvention1977 thank you for your comment. May 2023 be one of joy and discovery for you.

[@newinvention1977]

@@carolineeccel5387 thank you! I wish the same for you as well.

[@ivckrxs118]

honestly i can relate as well. i've always been someone who was kept to myself and never said much but there was a point where i tried to be someone i'm not and now i'm starting to accept myself for who i am and who i always was :)

[@carolineeccel5387]

@@ivckrxs118 a sign of wisdom. Thank you for sharing.

[@woudgy]

A thing that bothers me a lot is people who overshare their children's lives on social media. Children cannot give informed consent. Reprehensible, tbh.

[@peeerlyb.7762]

I understood that and stopped when my daughter turned 13 and told me “ why are you putting my picture on Facebook” Sometimes parents don’t get it until they get it and until they see the child perspective- So no hate to parents; NO parents wants to harm they children by posting them.

[@EmmanuelMotelin]

”Once you’ve lost your privacy, you realize you’ve lost an extremely valuable thing.” - Jodi Rell.

[@rayodeluz6759]

Very true!! There is a saying too, the people is owner of what keep for him/herself. And prisoners of what they say or share.

[@Qlivia]

Ya all lost a whole lot more than your privacy guys. You lost your freedom. visit The White Ro🌹e- Telegram

[@crand20033]

I used to visit nude beaches were every one was naked.

[@Kamone111]

Facts

[@aphrodieMonkey]

@@crand20033 LOL

[@therealkoolaidandkale]

That old quote, "People want you to do well, but not better than them." Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one not stuck in "the matrix" and I love it here. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@birdinreality8928]

This is a fact lmfao

[@ronneaspeights6870]

Wym

[@CloudTribe]

People want to see you do well, but not too well

[@dasupahfluffahpengwah5111]

Envy?

[@mickeyrosa7226]

@@dasupahfluffahpengwah5111 Exactly! Those are the people you stay away from. It seems some people can't be happy for other people. It's sad really.

[@jessiek6815]

I learned that from my life. Never share your personal story to people in workplace. They will judge you and gossip about it

[@summerisonthursday5239]

Also never share with other Mums or neighbours

[@nouf7790]

People don’t care about what happened to you ,but then they can use it against you one day, so just don’t share too much and be careful and make sure have someone to tell them everything because then you wouldn’t need to be Oversharing to anyone

[@pinkaddiction13]

ABSOLUTELY

[@HannahKleidermacher]

If you look back on the times you “overshared” to a person and cringe hard, you might just have a problem with vulnerability. Being a naturally private person is fine, but don’t try to convince yourself into becoming private for the sole purpose of avoiding “cringe” or others’ judgement. Knowing yourself and feeling confident enough to share that energy with others may be ultimately more freeing to you. Depends on the person.

[@estherchristabella7520]

This is very true.

[@scoob1670]

facts.

[@juheenam2191]

This was freeing to me tysm

[@somlenprostelea8533]

thank you, was searching for this comment

[@HannahKleidermacher]

@@somlenprostelea8533 haha right? I was too. lowkey see a lot of trauma in this comment section

[@phazonmichel]

There’s a Russian proverb that states “The quieter you go, the farther you get.” Heard it back in college and it always stuck with me. Keep your goals to yourself and you will be happier on the journey.

[@ritaaleksandrovna4518]

Good one 💯

[@wordnodoubt2861]

I do enjoy a bit of Russian proverb, much obliged for sharing 🤜🏾🤛🏾💯

[@onetallgirl1369]

I like that, I’m going to write that down! TFS!

[@r.g.36]

Or another one - "Happiness likes silence."☝🏻👌🏻

[@biorastorm7002]

"Тише едешь - дальше будешь". Yes that's a good proverb. Hello from a Russian 👋

[@puffinlia2449]

I used to be such an oversharer and didn't know how friendships could be kept if they didn't know every detail of your life, but now im working towards less sharing, more connecting😊

[@earlofsandwich7884]

I think most people connect through shared information. Connecting is a good thing but I've always felt there is a better way to do it that share such personal information.

[@vyshnavigudivada1863]

"nothing bad comes from not telling people your business"

[@BrittanyVenti]

The art of mystery.

[@KellyStamps]

MAYBE I’M A POTATO IRL AND NOT A HUMAN

[@goodgirlsguide]

Yes - I drive people crazy with my elusiveness

[@daisyrowser-grier2161]

exactly!

[@milliebucks6050]

💯💯

[@JulianSteve]

Definitely. The only things I share are things that benefit everyone to know excluding personal things like my career ideas/plans, family, friends, and money. You have to be careful what you say and do online😭💯

[@Mayan144]

Moral of the story: You do not need other people’s validation !

[@ScottyByrd]

Facts

[@luckydayzs9296]

true that! lesson learned..

[@MariamaSonko]

Yep

[@TriniRoyQuiReyes]

Sure true

[@Aaliyahglo]

True

[@hueningisshowkischild8875]

This is so true. The more I talk about my problems, the more unsolicited advices I get. And if I share a single weakness of mine, the other person always brings it up and act like that’s the only thing about me... I realized I prefer having conversations about general things (events, views on the world, hobbies) instead of personal life problems

[@stroudkelly6868]

"A private life is a peaceful life." Next time some nosey body asks me a question I am going to use your quote 😁

[@hlubiscorner]

I think journaling our thoughts and feelings at times is better than letting a human know...

[@bethennyfrankel2300]

I seldom trust a fellow being with my thoughts.

[@hlubiscorner]

@@bethennyfrankel2300 I mean I can totally relate Ana, I think our thoughts can be sacred too. And divulging details of some of this information can be quite detrimental to us as highlighted by Kelly.

[@hiimniasha]

💯

[@ImSimplyAHuman]

Amen 🙏🏻

[@NubianQueen8]

Why am I literally picturing Harriet the Spy rn? Lol

[@Hoodnerd911]

Someone recently told me “only answer the question you’re asked and don’t give extra details” that sticks with me now because I always used to dig myself a hole.

[@saranox7319]

I did just today. -.-

[@Idkrememberwhatiateyesterday]

Great advice. Thank you for sharing. 💞

[@aiyanahenderson1118]

That is really great advice!

[@jreli]

True that

[@jamilgotcher5456]

That's exactly what an attorney tells people to do.

[@kortney3767]

i miss being an introverted person. I was always the quiet, speak when spoken to, don’t say too much, type of person. But society forced me to unlearn all of that to be more digestible to others and i resent myself for letting that get to me

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

You see where that’s landed you?

[@kortney3767]

@@Anonymous_Anon882 it sucks, but im slowly starting to reverse it

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

@@kortney3767 good. You don’t want to be worried about what gossipy strangers who really shouldn’t be doing more than cordially-acknowledging your existence when they see you in passing (flatmates/co-workers you don’t want to vibe with like that included) think about you when you’ve got your own life and deep internal bubble of thoughts and feelings that just aren’t their business. If a pronounced gossiper in your vicinity hears an inch of your business (whether you make the mistake of telling them or they overhear) it’ll go 300 miles. Take that from someone who lived with a hardcore gossip late last year and the first half of this year.

[@princesaa__]

@Excel.In.Life.Faith! Really? Is your comment necessary?? 😒

[@princesaa__]

I hope you get back to being who you once were, Kortney! ❤

[@adamccall562]

Yes. When I’ve overshared some people have used those vulnerabilities and even traumatic moments against me. They’ve made it a way to put me down or judge me. Also people have judged me to the point of where they just don’t want to be friends with me anymore. I overshared because I wanted to be understood by everyone but that doesn’t happen.

[@ntmn8444]

True. You think they’re your friends and they’ll listen to you, but they’re actually a holes looking to hurt you. Why? I don’t understand it. I wouldn’t ever hurt someone or judge then based on one thing. Everyone has their good side and their bad sides, but these days, people cut off others based only on the others’ weaknesses. Not right.

[@sonjaannenyakerario6624]

I can totally relate

[@Kimberly4ChristSalvation]

​@@ntmn8444I have had that happen to me in the past! The bright side about it is that you know they are not your true friends. You can't control what happened to you with your traumas and if people can solely base you based on your traumas and blame you for it then I really do not need those people in my life. If they are family then gray rock them and only talk about family events and have a chit chat about how everyone is doing and when they ask how you're doing just say you're doing great! Don't overshare anything with them either because I found that they are not really that caring when it comes to your emotional well-being.

[@mallorypark6260]

people can't judge you as hard if they have little to nothing to go off of. it's so freeing

[@meguwumi8222]

you're gorgeous wtf

[@_AniWatch]

@@meguwumi8222 chill out nigga. Down bad.

[@meguwumi8222]

@@_AniWatch sushd did i come off as a creepy male? my b j a girl appreciating another

[@_AniWatch]

@@meguwumi8222 no you came off creepy, Don't care if you're a guy. Like topic at hand has nothing to do with her face. She COULD be a catfish.

[@meguwumi8222]

@@_AniWatch oh :( i always see girls complimenting others regardless of topic so i thought it was normal but ig not

[@asaadrashad7103]

“In a world where everyone is over exposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery”

[@imnotsurewhatmyusernamesho1348]

say it louder for the people in the back!!!👍😂

[@JulianSteve]

YESSSSSSS‼️Amen to that💯🙌🏾‼️

[@fittomakeup9890]

Amen!!!!!!

[@Scarlet-Enchantress]

I absolutely love this

[@EastSide-qc5oy]

I used to work with someone who would always ask me and others on Monday what we did over the weekend. A seemingly harmless and normal Monday morning question but there was always this sense that if answered with any kind of detail you’d be mocked for it. It was her “way.” She didn’t think she was doing anything mean-spirited it was just her annoying and immature way of relating to people. When I started withholding details and would leave it at “not much, kinda quiet” it would get turned around into “Ha! You never left your apartment, right?” As if an occasional weekend hibernating and relaxing in your NYC apartment was the worse thing ever. You would think that when we grow up and leave high school and college and become adults in the real world we’d leave a lot of the childish adolescent ways of relating to other people behind but some people make them a way of life. Makes me want to avoid people a lot of the time.

[@fennwenn3317]

"Keep your mouth shut if you want to get your dreams done with no judgement." The approach I'm taking to my creative stuff when people with no interest beyond "oooh are you gonna be successful at that? do I know a successful person? or is it going nowhere?" start nosing in on it.

[@Longhairprettynails]

"Privacy is imperative to my well being" quote of the century 😁

[@Hoodnerd911]

Hey girl 👋🏼 love your videos!

[@alessadolan5718]

Long hair pretty nails!! ❤️❤️

[@SharonBurc]

-Said every Scorpio ever in history lol ♏️

[@atlrr8366]

Thank you for the advice!

[@Feargamelioncheetahs]

I lie don't care who tells it

[@LyricsSavvy]

Sometimes Life is so much better when nobody knows what you're up to

[@nauxsi]

Yup. Just not for the person trying to call you lol

[@ttrri_n]

Moving in silence is the only way you can be yourself without people feeling like they know you, because they don’t and they don’t deserve to.

[@shadowsmith1386]

Straight facts

[@shadowsmith1386]

@@ttrri_n ikr same with me

[@TRafael82]

You give people power over you by sharing all your stuff.

[@inbloom2300]

If you have 'friends', no matter how close you are, that want to know everything little thing about your life, but don't share anything from theirs, run the other way, cut them off, it took me years to see it but I hope everyone can take a step back and evaluate their friendships. I have very few friends now but have never felt more at peace!

[@blackqweenmars]

True. If you’re wondering if your friends really care or not just pay attention to how much they share with you. If they’re asking you literally everything about yourself and they never really say anything about themselves there’s a chance that they don’t really care and they’re just nosy.

[@eadrythwyn]

I totally agree. My ex was like this. I didn't notice at first because I had interpreted it as him being really into me and I felt flattered, but then I realized he had been harvesting info so that it would be easier for him to be abusive towards me.

[@inbloom2300]

@@eadrythwyn I'm really sorry that you also had to go through this, the silver lining is that's he's an 'ex' now, I wish you healing and all the best

[@eadrythwyn]

@@inbloom2300 Thank you so much 🤍

[@ntmn8444]

Exactly. I learned the hard way. Twice. The two people I always thought had my back, didn’t. I don’t have friends anymore, sadly, but it is what it is. I’m relearning what it means to be a friend and maybe someday, I’ll meet someone new whom I can truly call a friend.

[@DemandIka]

I’ve been so guilty of over sharing and I cringe whenever I think about it 😭 I love this video. Keep up the good work babe - Ika

[@subconsciousexpress876]

Literally cringe at myself

[@blackvelvetsings5310]

@@THEDONSTR8Fightah76 and why u care

[@fadedsophomore]

Me 2 lmao

[@gerdalehis8285]

@@THEDONSTR8Fightah76 she can be with whoever she wants

[@KellyStamps]

OMG RED CARPET COMMENT SECTION ONCE AGAIN

[@Vanett77]

Moving in silence is hella rewarding. I used to be an oversharer but not anymore and its so liberating

[@andretarvok7122]

True, but isn't it kinda ironic that a youtuber who posts videos about her life is telling people to be more private? I think the best way to do this is to go back in time to 1997 when we all just used email and phone numbers and didn't post everything about ourselves on social media.

[@lelelew2735]

@@andretarvok7122 but we usually dont see her plans or she informs us after it happened so not the same. When you tell people future plans your putting it out there for others to either take this idea or wish negative energy on it.

[@kym888]

@@andretarvok7122 5:07

[@kym888]

@@andretarvok7122 Although Kelly is a youtuber and shares some of her life, she does a good job at being private. So nah, it’s not ironic to me’

[@TANKTKO]

@@andretarvok7122 she is sacrificing herself for the greater good.

[@brownsugar1301]

I also hate people when they ask way too many questions like how are you so comfortable being so nosy ? 🤣

[@stephanigisele295]

😂😂😂

[@cici201]

fr and idk how to respond like they force info out of me. should i just straight up tell them its none of their business at this point?

[@brownsugar1301]

Ask them why, most people just want a topic for their next convo or lie, tell them it’s none of their business or just ignore them lol that’s what I do

[@cici201]

@@brownsugar1301 LOLL okok thank you😭

[@sinesiphongcoza107]

😂😂😂

[@camadams9149]

Wise advise. Personally: 1) all my social media is locked down. If you can see stuff, it's because I accepted your friend request. 2) I don't share actionable information. I don't tag people in my photos, I post things AFTER they are complete, and I hide my friends list when possible 3) I use separate usernames & a private social media email address/google phone number to create the accounts. You won't find my accounts if you get my number/email or are friends with me on another platform (my name is not cam hahaha) 4) All public profile pics are group photos or you can't see my face

[@Trish....]

3 PRO TIPS: 1. NEVER assume that ppl are as kind as you are! 2. Just bc you forgive someone doesn't mean s/he has changed! 3. Ppl will treat you how you ALLOW them to! That last one is what you were referring to re: boundaries. If you tell ppl everything, they then feel entitled to know more, give their 2 cents, or judge you, & I've even had friends act like I MUST overshare bc they did, as if it's an obligation. Keeping your circle small isn't a bad thing, just less complicated, & you can be picky - as you said, we owe no one anything!

[@nauxsi]

Sometimes people interpret that as 'we think we're too good for them' ... rather than what it really is "i'm good".

[@ttrri_n]

I felt so guilty for no reason like people deserved to know everything I did, no they don’t deserve to know or know me. It’s way too much they don’t want you to succeed only I do, my small fam, dog, and god😭

[@nickelleraffaelle3529]

It’s not that it’s an obligation obviously we all have things we are unable to talk about in the moment until we have dealt with it, but many are very nosy and unwilling to disclose anything when it’s a two way street! if you are a very private person but you have an inner circle of close friends expect the same energy back from all your friends.

[@frenchgirl5878]

Love that

[@wonforwonbin]

@@ttrri_n I feel u 🥲

[@KB-bn1rq]

My Grandma use to always say "If they are telling u other people's business don't trust em to keep yours"

[@natalie_555]

wow that's great advice

[@rens0n]

Smart lady

[@lohaye3260]

True

[@ED-ie3et]

THIS

[@spaceyjayecy]

Wise woman she is

[@user-zz3xj5tw7v]

It makes sense to tell your goals and ambitions the least amount of people - unless they are same-minded as you. While I agree that it can look like someone needs validation from the others, sometimes it's good to have reality-check with people who are heading same direction as you are. I learned that if I hear viewpoint of someone I look up to, or someone who has my trust, it can add to my perspective, and re-think something

[@intreoo]

This video is so relevant in today's society. Every time I post something to social media, it feels like my existence is being tied to how much attention it gets. Even beyond that, it feels like I need validation for any accomplishment I make to be happy rather than just being happy with it on my own. What I really need is to let go of social media, and to a greater extent, desires regarding attention and just truly be myself, but it's hard. Especially in an era where literally everything is online.

[@BlackunPhinisheD]

"Privacy is power", but also being mysterious is fun. It creates personality where there once was none.

[@deshnamehta5803]

True. And it rhymed!

[@yourfavoritetiktokers4112]

😂 yup

[@goodgirlsguide]

😂😂

[@honeylavenderbakery]

you are so right, i do not have a personality, i think

[@wordnodoubt2861]

DAMN. 🤔

[@encahill]

When in your 20s you care a lot about what people say/think about you. In your 40s you don't care what anybody says/ thinks about you. But when you're in your 60s you realise nobody ever said or thought about you.

[@cristinafrw]

👏👏💯

[@lauras627]

Lol so true

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

I'm in my 20s living my 40s😊

[@greyonyx08]

Damn. I'm just out of my 20s by a few years but I feel like I'm living in my 60s already. This is a great notion though.

[@heckenhunterz6411]

Fuck it..

[@melaniejanko2675]

it shocks me how so many people have their snapchat location on. Especially who add random people because it shows EXACTLY where you are. Its insane

[@intreoo]

Exactly!!! Why do people do that? I never will understand.

[@PinoyAznLee]

I remember sharing all the quarrels I had at home to many of my close friends not realizing (too late) that they could not relate. Now in my late 20s, I've learned to share highlights and never something personal unless the conversation steered towards a vulnerable topic (e.g., death, insecurities, self-harm).

[@shelocsher2396]

I had a coworker say to me, “So what’s tea on your man? You don’t tell us anything about him” ... 🤨😐 And I won’t.

[@iamtomeka7971]

Yes girl! I had to learn this the hard way. My man is MY business 🥰

[@hiimniasha]

She tried it..

[@quasar4472]

wow that's so nosey! are they bored?

[@Polinaparvanova]

How do you deal with people like that

[@muffybobuffy]

As someone with ADHD whose very willing to say any thought at any given time, this was an important video for my character growth

[@atlantasfaith7721]

Wow I’m glad someone understands

[@Sean.Gathew]

Team ADHD🤟🤟

[@janikulan7252]

@@paulitapinturas When you grow older, you start developing coping mechanisms for ADHD. I was like you too and overshared information, and I had tons of frustration when people stopped respecting and violating my boundaries. Its very difficult, but possible, just get into that spiral where you can get more respect, and attention by being "mysterious".

[@Zhiivago]

This is me exactly

[@viewmodeimages350]

I have inattentive ADHD and gave way too much of myself to people for decades. One person even told me I gave too much of myself to people. That didn’t stop him trying to have an affair with me though! People have exploited this until I found out I have ADHD. Being diagnosed was empowering! 😊 I manage my life so much better now and have privacy and boundaries, it really has given me more peace of mind. I will always have ADHD and that little monster in me chanting ‘bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored’ 😄 But now I respect my right to privacy even if my ADHD does find that extremely dull 😆

[@stephaniegh8884]

"Nothing bad comes from not telling people your business." I really like how you said that because from now on 2024 I will not tell anyone my business.

[@RunToEternity]

Remember some people are actually toxic or narcissistic, and they might like nothing more than to take what you give them to use it against you.

[@lolabunny1157]

What kills me is “influencers” or regular people share everything on social media and then the first thing they say is “why y’all in my business” you share everything sweetie which opens a discussion sadly

[@courtney9546]

@@savannah3780 Boundaries are important here. Just because a stranger shared certain things about their relationship to you does not mean they have invited you to further information. You take your tidbit of info and go. This is why privacy becomes important- because people lack boundaries and believe it's crazy to expect limits/ongoing consent to information, just because someone's shared previously.

[@miriamhavard7621]

🙄😑😐

[@sometimessnarky1642]

Ikr!?! Like a nurse getting a vaccine shot that was created in record time and not tested for the normal amount of time going in front of cameras to "prove to shot is safe" and then fainting on live TV. Then explaining it with a neurological condition that makes people faint when stressed or exposed to blood or injuries. And ten having that nurse *DISAPPEAR* without a trace and never get the second shot on camera to prove that she was actually okay. And then when people ask how she and why the account is dormant the family members freaking out and threatening to sue subscribers for asking about her. Crazy.

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

I unfollow these kind of people

[@KhadijaMbowe]

We love a queen who understands healthy boundaries!!

[@shalmaleejoshi9843]

Omg I literally watched your video before this lol

[@rudograce1884]

Hy Kadijaaa Love your channel

[@elenapopovic2527]

My 2 favessss

[@vashhLOVE]

You guys are both Queens ❤️

[@cindyfrempong9352]

love yourinsightful vids and character

[@janiegetyourgun]

I used to overshare a lot on social media. I stopped when I realized it was giving people the opposite impression of me than I thought it would. I thought sharing all those details made me “real”, because usually people only share highlights of their good times on social media. But i just alienated myself. So I stopped. And it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I don’t worry about judgement, I don’t obsess over comments or likes or reactions, and I have peace. I don’t post my hard times, but I rarely post my wins either. And I definitely don’t preemptively post good news. I have learned to wait.

[@maddie8415]

I know I'm late to this party but I just wanted to say how much I love to see someone put this out there. Oversharing has become the norm to a point where we do need to be intentional about protecting our energy and be selective about when we do choose to share. And something we all need to face is that there are people out there who just don't want good things for us...whether those people even realize it or not. Sharing on social media will almost guarantee that one of these people hears your business. A little mystery will not only protect you, but make you a bit more interesting too.

[@candiigurl7893]

Pro tip: (if you absolutely *MUST* share the places you visit) never share where you are or are going, only where you've been.

[@ATLSTLCurls]

People come up missing (or minus some money and valuables) from not heeding that advice.

[@WhatsTrendingWithTrenton]

This is 1 I always follow, very important for so many reasons

[@brookenicole6937]

I’ve had a “friend” get mad at me for not disclosing all the private information on my relationship. But whenever I would share wins that I would have she would be the first to downplay my accomplishments and make it about her. We are not friends anymore lol

[@rayjordan8513]

Not a good friend lol

[@brookenicole6937]

She also sent me a essay long text about how bad of a friend I am and why my relationship is toxic when she didnt know ANYTHING about it. Mind you my grandmother passed away and I was going through alot and she never checked on me but claims I was a bad friend? The text she sent me was so insane I lowkey wanna share it lmao

[@moonchild708]

@@brookenicole6937 please share 💀 i know it kinda defeats the purpose of this video but i've been through the same thing and find these situations super amusing

[@brookenicole6937]

@@moonchild708 im sorry you went through similar things

[@Oddsfeline]

@@brookenicole6937 Damn it sounds like she was projecting, saying your relationship was toxic when she was toxic. I'm glad to hear you got rid of that person, they sound like trash

[@naomi-ey7yb]

when you said you like to be alone but also like having crush on ppl i felt so muchhhh comfort cuz same.

[@jasonjackson4555]

This is the way I’ve lived for a long time. There are haters out there and there are also people who project their own shortcomings on others. Most of my friends never finished college and call a degree, “just a piece of paper” and a waste of time. I used that “paper” to get a good job, learn another language and even live abroad for a few years. Then, I didn’t tell them I was thinking about grad school until AFTER I got in. Now, after grad school I’ve leveled up my career (and life) a few more times while they’re still in the same spot I left them in years ago. Glad I didn’t listen to them!

[@AmaraAnigbo]

“Silence can never be misquoted.” Let 👏🏾 them 👏🏾 know 👏🏾 Kelly!! So important especially in this digital age. Keeping the air of mystery helps you to keep your power.

[@dawnworthy6358]

Silence absolutely can be misquoted.

[@PortraitofAsha]

@@dawnworthy6358 yup. People will just project and make up stuff! My latest video deals with that: Assumption Junction

[@vinojan9046]

@@dawnworthy6358 at first, this quote seemed to me so cool an just thinked for a few second and came with many many many example where silences can be uses against us and so violently misquoted :(

[@dawnworthy6358]

@@vinojan9046 I know. It sounded good. But, like so many ideas, below the surface of beautiful and comforting words, lies unintended consequences and sometimes, too often in recent years, danger.

[@simonesquared]

this called me out

[@Michelliellio]

My faves colliding. But also thank you for telling your business it helped me in the depths of my break up

[@natalie_555]

@@Michelliellio yesss

[@KellyStamps]

HULLO

[@elizabethbell8872]

Never too late to change. I def need to work on my privacy

[@SparklesNJazz]

same ......

[@s.a.6082]

I think often over sharing comes from our need to be liked/validated or seem important to people. Part of becoming more private is just growth and humility. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. I think it’s nice if you can have one or two close trusted friends or family members who you can be vulnerable with and share, but beyond that….privacy is everything.

[@flowerbeehoney4113]

I'm 58 and it took a long time for me to learn the beauty of a private life. I am so grateful to YAH for the peace that comes from living this way! thanks for uploading this talk 😌😊

[@quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756]

“Just because you don’t post a picture of it does n’t mean it didn’t happen” Thanks love a private life is a happy life.

[@shadowsmith1386]

Ikr love dis comment

[@y3rimst]

❤

[@HunniRoze]

I am your 1000th like lol I finally got to witness it change.

[@tintoesdown8045]

People can’t ruin what they don’t know 💯

[@ilovelife3328]

100%!

[@welovemusic8542]

Trueeee💯💯💯

[@LovleeBaker805]

💯facts

[@FreeJulianAssange23]

Also refuse to share creative ideas, tips, and life hacks if you don’t want them stolen.

[@MindSetOnWealth]

You can be an outgoing and social person without telling all of your business. It keeps people intrigued to where they want to get to know you more.

[@briblack2307]

Exactly why I don’t share anything about my son - rarely even his name, not his birthday, no photos of him anywhere online. It’s especially important not to exploit our children’s identities online when they’re too young to decide for themselves.

[@hiimniasha]

I agree 💯

[@PortraitofAsha]

Agreed!

[@rens0n]

True

[@lohaye3260]

I wish parents were more careful about what they share in regard of their children, you are doing a good job on this, no one outside family needs to know about your child privacy.

[@dierdrecole8027]

Right! Whatever happened to god old fashioned photo albums???

[@tigerlillysbookcorner4492]

Can we normalise not using the internet as a diary. Everyone needs to attend stampede university

[@gringa23]

And when you do, you wonder why the replies would be negative and rude because you put your TMI all over the internet. Then, the whole day you will be all in your feelings because of those replies. 😤 Please if you have an issue if I was you, I rather talk about it to someone you can trust in person who is mature enough to help you and to give you some helpful advice. It is better to do so rather than bringing it all to the table for the whole world to see. 😌 My old friend used to do this told me what she wrote on Facebook a few years ago. Not a very good idea.

[@aminajayy]

Yes. You can keep it to yourself, but it’s not necessary to share and show publicly. Now everything unfortunately is public: pregnancy announcements, proposals, break ups, grief, vacation trips, etc.

[@pumpyourselfup7683]

I don't like the idea of someone finding my diary then reading it. I'm the type to cut off people if I notice them taking advantage and hopefully will get back to being less talkative on social media.

[@anthonymangino5074]

Kelly Stamps, I have a lot of experience when it comes to having a “BIG MOUTH”. I got the big mouth from telling everyone my personal life from listening to my father and his mother brag about everything that you just mentioned. For the past 30 years of my life I told my friends and my co-workers and some family members everything about me on what was going on in my life. Because of me having a big mouth, nobody taught me the reasons why it’s so important to keep your personal life private. One day I decided to write a huge list of what never to tell anyone about my life, from money, to jobs, to what my wife did for a living. Never ever will I do that again. They all used everything that I said to them as a way to hate me. Don’t talk about anyone or anything that’s going on in your life. Be humble and be the listener then people will like you better. I learned the hard way.

[@sizleposh3030]

Also you should never tell people about your plans because telling people about your plans releases dopamaine similar to achieving your goals.

[@HIXHAM]

If they don’t know your dreams, they can’t shoot them down. -J Cole

[@justanotherisekaiprotagoni7293]

Yessuhhhh

[@angiedarnel6861]

Facts😉

[@somethingbettercoming]

So true

[@subconsciousexpress876]

This is the one

[@tropicalmk3519]

And that’s why he’s my favourite artist.

[@keshiathompson-simplehealt5013]

Don't give people more than they NEED to know!! SO true, some people, including family don't want to see you win!! Golden advice as always Kelly! If anyone sees this comment, a quote I remember, work in silence and let YOUR success make the noise!

[@somethingbettercoming]

That is a great quote

[@sandieheron8819]

Yup!

[@keshiathompson-simplehealt5013]

@@somethingbettercoming Yes it is, and thank you for reading my comment and commenting!

[@somethingbettercoming]

@@keshiathompson-simplehealt5013 you are so welcome

[@iamtomeka7971]

Love this

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

People over share to transfer energy. They choose happy and peaceful people to dump their negativity on in exchange for your peace.

[@elainewilliams5019]

Exactly keep your business to your self.

[@marymohr2799]

I tend to overshare, and when I saw this video I knew I had to watch it. Not only does it make other people uncomfortable, I'll sometimes regret it later.

[@andreasam5189]

Bro same I overshare😭

[@chatsire4059]

I always regret it later 😔

[@andreasam5189]

@@chatsire4059 same ... I get to attached to ppl it’s so. Bad 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@5tad]

Kelly Stamps - you are talking directly to me. Thank you

[@andreasam5189]

@@5tad ?

[@MzLizJ]

"Protect your dreams & Plans as if they were your children"- Me

[@ladyserpentine9377]

Bingo!

[@Anne-pj7vl]

😂❤️

[@kamed.]

Beautiful illustration!

[@Lupita94294]

Very wise

[@Lov3lychriz]

Taking that with me. Thank you!

[@ramen4297]

im just all for honesty 🤷🏻‍♀️ i mean okay, not EVERYTHING needs shared. but i know im protected divinely & regardless of what i tell people, so even if they wish ill on me ima be good regardless. i think it should be more common to be more open with one another. if you have boundaries, you can still be pretty open without being a completely open book if that makes sense. and this helps inspire others as well imo.

[@adarateranroldan]

Nothing bad comes from not telling others your business ❤

[@LULUandBELLA]

People that “don’t like you” watch you WAY more than people who genuinely want you to thrive TROLLS ALWAYS HAVE TIME😌

[@KellyStamps]

TRUE

[@LULUandBELLA]

Ok not trying to act “too cool” today Literally ear to ear smile that you even read my comment 😊 Wifey says “hey Kelly”

[@2cut32handle]

Soooo true, I noticed that some of the people that I'm not even friends with anymore are the first ones that watch my story. Almost as if they have notifications turned on lol.

[@tk567]

Trueee

[@PortraitofAsha]

Speak on it!

[@null5718]

I'm a naturally quiet person and don't really speak unless it's something of value, yet people still find a way to take offense to that 😂

[@PortraitofAsha]

Same

[@ladybeesan8890]

Same here sis and people think I'm a weirdo because of it sometimes😂. Moving in silence is wisdom tho.

[@reesejohnson2788]

I like to make small experiences seem like big experiences. People tend to have the “what? he’s interesting...” look on their face. lol

[@ajl2232]

Same. I literally say nothing but people try to take advantage of that just so to trigger me.

[@bunnykatsoracle3275]

Same! I would rather enjoy my own thoughts than fill the space with nonsense chatter about nothing. I have been called weird more times than I can count too but oh well, ain't got time.for this sh*%$🤷‍♀️

[@ChantelleSiequien]

When she said " I am meant to be alone but I like having crushes on people" Really hit home.

[@zen_mindset1]

I stopped over sharing recently. It can used against you or being judged. I cut off false friends. I used to over share my goals. Now I'm silent.

[@TrinaFit]

Some people like to throw stuff back in your face to after you open up to them about something

[@PriestessStellanie]

That’s true it’s best to keep your personal business to yourself.

[@BriW444]

That part.

[@priscillabatroni1061]

Facts

[@KellyStamps]

YUP happened to me

[@LGnLA]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@Boineelomove]

My whole view for this year “live a quiet life and do not over exaggerate your place in peoples lives”

[@IshaSharma11]

True ✔

[@Scarlet-Enchantress]

YES

[@tpmash]

I did over exaggerate my place in peoples lives for a while😌🤨, NOT HEALTHY AT ALL!

[@Boineelomove]

@@tpmash glad you are DONE unhealthy 🤗

[@eliontheinternet3298]

When I worked a retail job, I would share one neutral activity I did per weekend, and once I was in a long-term relationship I would always share that information. It gives you something to talk about and then the rest of the conversation you just let your coworkers share their thoughts (and the second one fends off any advances from colleagues).

[@vysheslavuzumati1269]

I learned this the hard way, I told people my problems and personal stuff countless times while my gut was telling me to shut up because it saw something in those people was ignoring I told them all that was going on with me only for them to turn around and throw it back at me if I pissed them off or gossip about it with others later.

[@MichelleSudarsono]

My friend and her husband (childless) shared their dream child name along with its meaning and reason of choice to their family and the husband's own mother, "stole" it and used that name for her daughter's second child (ie, her second grand-daughter). Words can't explain how hurt and betrayed they are. So, yes. Keep your dreams private. Sometimes, even from your own family.

[@ekaputriseptiyani220]

wow, i don't think of that situation until now. thankyou for sharing, Michelle.

[@JudgeJulieLit]

If your friend does in future have a daughter, she should name her her "dream child" name anyway. Let the grandmother and aunt deal with their own pilferage of it.

[@favour3319]

Happened to me. My friend and I talked about names we'd give to our future children. So happened her mother had a surprise pregnancy. She gave that name to her youngest sister.

[@am32074]

imagine realizing one day that your name is stolen from your cousin like that's sad

[@potterylady44]

Wow 😒ugh...a mess!

[@sambarrassed]

My mindset is people don’t know what I’m doing until I’m doing it. Ex: People didn’t know I moved states until I was there, traveling until I’m there/back, a new car (no one knows my car unless they’ve seen it) and JOB changes/promotions! Or any other goals I’m working toward. It’s a flex within yourself lol (ofc CLOSE friends know tho)

[@sophiayuna]

YESSS well said

[@iamnatpetite]

Yess so me.

[@JulianSteve]

I agree with this style of moving in silents until you have the evidence of your successes💯

[@denisegorham303]

Yessss!! Truths!

[@sambarrassed]

@@JulianSteve Yess moving in silence!! I couldn’t remember the phrase

[@AMrza-om7rc]

I'm an introvert and I don't share much to people I'm not too close with. But, I tend to overshare to my close family and friends and this isn't the best thing to do because they too can get bored or judge me. So, I try not to share too much but end up feeling lonely, which causes me to end up oversharing eventually. Ugh, it's such a dilemma sometimes.

[@steaminghot_tea]

I just wish I saw this sooner. I spent years oversharing my life to people and eventually it backfired real bad. Though I'm trying to fix it now and, thanks to you, I am already seeing myself improving! Again, thank you so much.

[@Nemyinspired]

I feel people overshare because they want to be accepted and be seen as real. You are so wise for your age!

[@the1337fleet]

I think people need to be MORE real. It we're only doing the routine "how are you? good" type of conversation, you don't get to connect or bond

[@mahalaxmisamudrala2249]

yeah..i personally overshare because i can't set healthy boundaries,so it ends up being too much.

[@Kimberly4ChristSalvation]

​@@the1337fleetunfortunately they don't want to be real and when you are, they get mean girl nasty! You have to pretend like everything is great unless you end up in a hospital or dead unfortunately. Then they want to cry crocodile tears when you're dead when they didn't even try to help you when you were alive. There were many people that died in my life and people that didn't want to help them while they were alive, they were wailing and crying talking about how they'll miss them. But yet refused to lend a helping hand when they were alive!?! That was so messed up on so many levels!

[@Barneythedinosaur-kb9vl]

Sometimes I share because I feel I care about my life more than others even though there's no reason for them to care so much I just feel lonely sometimes and unaccepted

[@missyvelasco2959]

"Do not tell anyone what you're doing unless it's done. outside energy can throw off goals."

[@TheNarrator-Richie]

My goals tend to suffer without outside energy, outside energy tends to help me with my goals, everyone is different.

[@louern123]

I, don’t care about my privacy! i have nothing to hide, i am confident

[@BlancheTecson]

ya honestly the more vocal I became about stuff I always woke up the next morning like ".. did i rlly have to say that tho?". The cringe just aint worth it

[@lololol1917]

Gurl same. Especially when you post a private-ish insta story and wake up thinking: should I even had shared that?

[@celestialbunny]

i'm literally going through the same thing, or i did a few days ago. but it wasn't that i felt cringey about it, i felt extremely uncomfortable with it.

[@Unkuuu]

Exactly people who tell relative strangers about things that are intimate to them seem emotionally out of control to me. And it makes me reluctant to open up to them for fear of who/what they’ll tell other people about me.

[@iamtomeka7971]

I think some ppl tell strangers their business for the simple fact that they don’t know them so what does their opinion matter. Ya know? Sometimes strangers are the only ppl you can vent too. Especially if you’re venting about loved ones. But to each their own ❤️

[@GLAMAFROMNYC]

@Unku that’s the wisest thing I have ever heard, they are indeed emotionally out of control

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@iamtomeka7971 Not only do they not know them, they won't have to face them again.

[@Unkuuu]

@@iamtomeka7971 I hear you but this is why I said “relative strangers”. Pouring your heart out to a receptive stranger on a train who you’ll never see again is different from inundating work acquaintances and Facebook “friends” with the gory details of ones personal life on a semi-regular basis. I have been the receptive stranger to quite a few people but I don’t want to be told deeply personal information about people I don’t really personally know. Or worse, people I have yet to meet but may in the future. It makes the potential friendship or relationship extremely lopsided because I know more about them than they know about me.

[@soufwesthoustontx]

If you feel the need to share or over share you can always journal or scrapbook your memories and experiences like people did back in the day. That way you can revisit your experiences without a digital trail. A lot of times people share photos and things they are excited about as a way to digitally journal a positive experience.

[@ismailatouray2851]

Private life is a happy life and comfortable.