How Do You Know if You Have the Gift of Singleness?

How do you know if you have the gift of singleness? Michael Horton and Pastor Adriel Sanchez discuss this question. For the full episode subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or listen at CoreChristianity.com. Do you have questions you want to be answered on the program, call us at: 1-833-843-2673
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[@Taragon630]

I am a man of 57 yrs., and have been single for 40 yrs. I can tell you that it is not so much a gift as it is a vocation. It is also a heavy cross to bear, and a denial of much. However, You have a greater freedom to be utilized for the Lord's work. Although I have felt the pressure from family & friends in my 20s and 30s to get married and have children, I knew deep down in my heart that the path to which I had to travel was different than most people. All in all, I have never regretted my decision to remain single.

[@joycelynmiller2970]

Singleness is not a gift tho. They preach this so that they don't have admit that the church causes the problem.

[@soraya1796]

@@joycelynmiller2970 The gift of singleness doesn't mean, that singleness is a gift. It's acutally something you have or don't have. And if you can enjoy your singleness, than it's this gift. If you suffering in it, it's not this gift. And it's obvious, that @Joel Jimenez has this gift.

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

@@joycelynmiller2970 How does the church cause singleness?

[@evelynel9346]

Wow. Not everyone can do like you did sir

[@vanessadelgadoelias]

I’m 23 years old and I genuinely do not desire marriage or kids. Not because of trauma or hurt but I just don’t desire it. When I think about being single for the rest of my life I have content. I always thought something was wrong with me like I am supposed to be married and being a mom and wife is what all women are supposed to be but maybe that’s not entirely true for every single woman. After watching this it opened my perspective and helped me to receive singleness as a pure and holy gift from God and if this really is what I am purposed for I thank the Lord Jesus that He has gifted me with the desire to be fully focused and dedicated to Him all the days of my life.

[@hamilton9651]

That's a wonderful thing for you. It indicates that you have a special gift from God to remain single forever and serve God exclusively.

[@hamilton9651]

You won't be a mom or wife in a physical sense, but you can love orphans and children in hospitals. When you lead people to Christ they will be your spiritual children. In Heaven no one will be married there.

[@vanessadelgadoelias]

@hamilton9651 wow thank you for this. This confirmed many things for me! God bless you♥️

[@rayna0094]

Came from a lot of broken relationships. So I embrace the life of blessed singleness. I feel like I can help people more if I am single.

[@mmartista3803]

If you don’t understand this gift you most likely don’t have it

[@stupidfathobbit303]

True. Most of people here (the comments) say how singleness is not a gift or "it's just thorn in a flesh". But I really understand that it's actually a gift.

[@hamilton9651]

​@@stupidfathobbit303 I think it can be both. Some people have a specific ability to voluntarily forsake marriage in order to serve in the Kingdom, but there are others who would like to be married, but for a variety of reasons they cannot marry. I would say to them it's a "thorn in the flesh". This is my situation.

[@nettiemarie2556]

Ty for saying singles are a gift in the church...most churches Ive been in conpletely ignore and/or or downplay the single population. 🙄🙄🙄

[@Kelly-oe8kr]

The church I *used* to attend treated every single woman as if she was damaged and like she was trying to swoop in and steal your man. The cliquiness of some churches is disgraceful and excluding some people from fellowship

[@tabithawestmorelandrealtor769]

19 yrs single I'm assuming God wants me single forever. Tired of waiting and wanting something I can't have. So I'll accept singleness forever.

[@gogo6189]

Praying for you sis

[@hamilton9651]

19 years single from what age? Are you 19 years old now, or has it been something like 19 years from when you became an adult? If you are 19 years old that doesn't mean you are called to lifelong singleness, but if you've been single for 19 years into adulthood then yes maybe.

[@mmafan8861]

I am here because i think I have that gift. Im curious to know but I wanted to leave this comment before listening to this video

[@johnz4328]

It’s been a terrible struggle in my life. Definitely has been a distraction not something that has freed me to do better things.

[@JonathanGrandt]

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. I will pray for you.

[@johnz4328]

@@JonathanGrandt Thank you

[@JustAFaithfulServant]

I will pray for you as well brother. Have faith. 🙏🏾

[@johnz4328]

@@JustAFaithfulServant Thank you !

[@hamilton9651]

I'm older now and want to be celibate!

[@martinasteelers]

45 and still single, never married. I desire to be married, but I'm enjoying my singleness. Single for over 10 years now.

[@nateopfer7542]

Correctly understood, singleness and celibacy are not the same thing. Celibacy is a gift. Singleness is an affliction. If a Christian desires to be married and have kids but they are not receiving that, than it is an affliction to bear not a gift. Undesired Singleness is an affliction. We need clearer teaching about this. If singleness must must be called a gift then it is a gift in the same sense that any affliction from the Lord is considered a gift as it is good, producing perseverance and hope in the lives of those who love Him. Every Christian will either struggle with singleness for a period or be free from that struggle because they are instead gifted in celibacy to serve the Lord. Men were created with eyes to see and it was good and normal. If you are born blind then your sightlessness is not a gift, it is abnormal, it is an affliction. In the same way men were created to be married and multiply, not be alone, that is the good and normal design. If you are single against your desire it is not a gift, it is abnormal, it is an affliction. The blessing comes from recognizing the affliction correctly as an affliction and then walking obediently through that affliction to the glory of God. That's where the gift comes. The perseverance that produces hope. The good for those who love Him. The question becomes then, how do you as a Christian handle ANY kind of affliction that comes your way? Do that. Everything that can be said about the life of a single Christian in continuing to grow and follow God can be said about any Christian with any affliction. Can it not? Celibacy is a gift from God. A unique gift as part of the body of Christ. How do you know you have it? 1 Cor 7. You are free from sexual immorality (v.1). You have the gift from God (v.7). You have self control and do not burn with passion, or do not desire sexual intimacy and marriage (v.9). Are free from the distress or distraction, meaning that marriage and kids are what would distract those gifted with celibacy from serving the Lord (v26). If you are gifted with celibacy and marry you have not sinned, but you will have trouble, meaning the the distraction is the responsibilities of marriage, kids, provision, childrearing, etc. (v28). You are free from concern of marriage and children and only concerned about how to please the Lord (v.32).

[@Banonymous2]

What if you're single but in your singleness, you still don't have a great relationship with God? What's the point then?

[@Kelly-oe8kr]

This is my problem

[@eoinMB3949]

How is it a gift though? Is it not just a decision you make? It's as if you're saying that you can't be single unless you've received a specific gift from God, otherwise you have to be married. That leaves absolutely no space for self control. It's like sex is our master and we are enslaved to it. And as for the notion that if you struggle with sexual desire......find a wife. Everyone struggles with sexual desire, including married people! I don't know how many guys in church have told me that they still struggle with sexual desire even though they're married. Or guys addicted to porn and they're married.

[@clintrichards-lu5xr]

Single i serve God better ! I am learning to put my desires away for Gods desires for it is God that truely matters ! Most married.people i know are absolutely miserable and that includes Christians sad to say ! Being Single and serving God with no world pleasure is the best life ever .. But its not for everyone

[@lincolnadams83]

Singleness is not one of the spiritual gifts. Celibacy as Paul discusses it is a calling wherein a person chooses to stay single in order to concentrate on lay or professional ministry. We were designed and created for relationship in marriage bonding. Our fallen nature has corrupted that union, so singleness is actually an unnatural and cultural norm we are dealing with. That being said we have a choice how we react to singleness if we aren't called to it. James would ask us to count it all joy ( an opportunity to lean into God) because it will build our perseverance. And that we should ask God for wisdom through our singleness because he gives wisdom freely. Singleness is not so much a gift or an identity as it is a station or time in life. For some that is painful and for others it is not. Either way it is an opportunity for us to draw near to God and ask the question "what would you have me do in the midst of this time?" vs "why do you have me in this time?" God is a comforter and will walk is through this time of life and provide us with wisdom and purpose as we go, even if the singleness is painful or unwanted. We still have a life to live for God!

[@Evan-q3g]

Singlness doesn't feel like a gift I'm lonely and sexually frustrated I'm 38 and I'm so miserable I hope God will bring me a wife

[@mmafan8861]

Is struggling with pornography a sign that I dont have the gift of singleness? Because its like struggling with sexual desire right? but at the same time I am not really interested in marrying and i am not desperate for a girlfriend/wife either for the past 6 years. I am currently battling pornography for years though and its not something easy that you beat overnight.

[@eoinMB3949]

It's not. I know so many married people who are in bondage to pornography. Keep battling my friend, you'll get there in the end, whether you're single or married. But marriage will definitely not cure an addiction to porn.

[@user-sb9ho5jz3e]

I mean you could die overnight on any day. Repent. The hour is near. God's Kingdom is at hand. God bless you.

[@hamilton9651]

@@kenc5102 It doesn't hurt for sexual addicts to be in a 12 step recovery program.

[@catherinem.8626]

So if you are called to be a missionary are you called to be single. That is a good point if you struggle with sexual sin you should get married.

[@Daniela_Lay]

lol🤣😂😅😅🤣😂😂😅😂🤣🤣

[@dariusthurman8835]

Singleness is not a gift

[@misss7758]

At best it is a thorn in the flesh.

[@soraya1796]

I think, the problem is, that Paul talked about the gift of singleness, not that singleness is a gift. There is a difference about this. There are people out there (like me), who don't have any sexual desires and as well no need for a romantic relationship. And these people are called to singleness. But the most people are not like that. And they aren't called to a life of celibacy.

[@fareway9205]

@@soraya1796 Whole heartedly agree. The gift of singleness is someone who has no sexual desire or can control their sexual desire and overcome it. I as well have this gift as I have no sexual needs and, with God's help, have overcome my teenage, self-pleasing temptations. I am celibate and am happy to be. One reason it's a gift is because you can avoid sexual immorality altogether. Sexual immorality is such a damaging sin, being able to avoid it altogether is a blessing. But even so, being able to focus more on God is even more of a blessing. And that's what the gift of singleness is about. God instructs us to get married so we can avoid commiting sexual immorality. Singleness in general is not a gift if you're suffering from lustful temptations.

[@soraya1796]

@@fareway9205 I whole heartedly agree with that. Thank you for sharing this testimony!!

[@mmafan8861]

@@fareway9205 Is struggling with pornography a sign that I dont have the gift of singleness? Because its like struggling with sexual desire right? but at the same time I am not really interested in marrying and i am not desperate for a girlfriend/wife either for the past 6 years. I am currently battling pornography for years though and its not something easy that you beat overnight

[@JonathanGrandt]

The gift of singleness 😂 hahaha. What the hell kind of upside down talk is that? “Hey happy birthday! I got you the gift of nothing” Oh thanks! 😆

[@blahblahblacksheep6347]

how long have you been married?

[@Riker7373]

I don't see it as a gift I see it as a curse because it is a curse God don't want me to be happy

[@rose4192]

Perhaps He wants to be your source of happiness, rather than your hypothetical partner. He’s a jealous God lol

[@oceandove]

⁠@@rose4192every believer has to have God as their source, regardless of their marital status. That’s not the reason He would deny us marriage. Although we should not make an idol out of anything , including marriage, being dissatisfied with not having God provide us a spouse doesn’t mean it’s an idol. There are some married individuals whose marriage is an idol. Marriage doesn’t sanctify, only God does that. No one “achieves”marriage through sinlessness. Not all that are single are doing something wrong. God ordains it, according to His will.