How Do You Know If You're Compatible?

[@Gameboyboy17]

the votes are in: John's a STAR BABY!

[@mylifeontheElist]

Best advice I’ve heard for compatibility is to think of the persons most annoying trait, and if you can live with that, you’re compatible 😂

[@SerenaPalmer]

“i’ve been giving real advice now for years” -allison raskin 2024

[@mindful-deathcult]

Honestly so relatable

[@ruledbyvenusss]

can’t wait for this weeks episode of my favorite bible book club

[@twilightrocks98]

When Allison said anticipation anxiety, it was a real AH HA moment for me… always learning with these two 📚

[@bluebear4452]

The way that John talks about herbs like… it just makes so much sense that he’s Alison’s husband… destiny

[@cephinisemodestin3348]

I’m so glad that John figured out his and Alison’s parsley situation, I was really worried for a moment there. 12:57-I feel like ‘privacy and secrecy’ and two different things. Privacy feels like ‘ this information is very personal and I wanna keep it close to the chest’ and secrecy feels like information that someone is actively working to keep under wraps. I feel like in a healthy relationship, baring things like surprises and maybe a few other exceptions that I can’t think of but right now, there shouldn’t be room in a relationship for secrets.

[@sugaCat363]

Knowing whats important to you is key. When husband and i first started dating we would try to get each other gifts, but thankfully we figured out that neither of us like giving or receiving gifts, so we just dropped it. Ive had past partners make me feel bad for having a hard time coming up with good gifts or with not appearing grateful enough. It was such a relief to not have to perform that relationship ritual. Also i like that we have different hobbies and he can go do his own thing. But it was really important to me that we share similar politics and world view.

[@stacylitwin1466]

I like buying gifts but hate that people only expect them during certain times, I like buying something because I found it and it made me think of you, not because there's a holiday coming up, my partner and I exchange holiday gifts but if one year there's only a gift or two and another there's a bunch we understand that it's just whatever spoke to us and there's no obligation to be performative about it

[@sugaCat363]

@stacylitwin1466 I love that it doesn't feel like an obligation and that you get joy out of it! That seems like a very loving, organic way to share that with your partner. I think having that mutual understanding is key, so no body is failing to live up to unspoken expectations or feeling neglected by a partner who can't show their love in the way you can see it.

[@secondeye1574]

"I'm kind of a goreman" the subtitles lmao

[@grmgt]

To answer the question at the end of the video, we've been really compatible except for one small detail... She wants kids, i don't. Now that she's turned 30 (I'm 26) there's no more room for waiting on each other to "give in" to the other side. So, basically, my 8 year relationship ended last week 💔

[@Exsangui-nate]

This is really tragic, I'm so sorry. But good on you for pursuing what's best for yourself, not becoming a parent when you don't want to is an act of respect and not talked about enough.

[@JustBetweenUs]

Oh no, I'm so sorry. But you know what? It's good you did the right thing so you can each have the life you want. Very mature. -g

[@stacylitwin1466]

That sucks to go through but it really is good, you don't want the kind of relationship where one of you regrets a decision like that

[@grmgt]

@@Exsangui-nate Thank you for the kind words. And that is so true. Since I'm also a woman, the expectations/pressure of me also wanting kids was really high. But i just can't bring myself to do something like that if I'm not sure, since i think if you can choose, kids deserve at least this certainty.

[@grmgt]

@@JustBetweenUs Thank you for the reply and the reassurance. Yeah, that was my train of thought as well. It's an oldie but a goodie a: If you love someone, set them free.

[@kohlinoor]

The way that the captions spelled "gourmand" gave me a teaspon (nay, a soupçon) of mirth

[@MollyHousel]

9:26 I rented a movie theater for my 40th birthday to watch Mamma Mia with all my friends and family. You either get it or you don't! 🇬🇷

[@jenniferroche1130]

John IS a star, he’s not wrong

[@molly4556]

I just put my finger on it! Is John related to Brennan Lee Mulligan? Appearance, vibe, even voice are eerily similar. Love you guys!

[@no_one_you_know]

Holy shit. I see/hear it. Lol

[@tinywitchhazel]

Wild timing, today my partner and I discussed what taking a break would look like due to one single (big) compatibility issue congrats on your parsley!

[@rowanketcheson]

obsessed with John and Phantom holding hands around 6:00

[@stephenie44]

I’ve been told I’m hard to get to know. And I thought 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think it’s THAT bad. And then last week I realized that my partner of over a decade and best friend since 8th grade don’t know about massive portions of my life because they don’t feel relevant to our relationship, so like, why would I bring it up? I GUESS SO THEY CAN KNOW ME AS A PERSON OR SOMETHING.

[@NotPMHarper]

My partner and I are so similar and have so many of the same key life experiences that it was a little weird and we started a list when we first dated. This is the first relationship where someone "just gets me" and it's really cool. But also we have enough differences that we compliment each other and fill in each other's weak points. Probably our biggest pain point is that he's a "you have to tell me explicitly or I won't know" type of Autistic and I'm a "constantly on edge and looking out for subtle cues because I miss them all the time" type of Autistic. This can lead to me thinking something is wrong when it isn't and it can lead to him not realising something is wrong when it is. The solution is obviously just communication but we're also anxious people so sometimes things can spiral a bit before it's resolved.

[@Excellor64]

Me and my partner are happy together. We agree on some things and on other we both compromise one way or another. I got cheated on my previous relationship after getting married, it scarred me and it took several years of therapy to feel better. When I started my present relationship, my main thing was that I wanted us to be honest and communicate with each other. I am easy going and flexible with most things, so as long as we are communicating, I did not have any issues in changing certain behaviors or what food I would cook. This is why I mentioned that we are both happy, not sure if necessarily compatible, but we both definitely choose to be with each other :) And also, we just had a baby too, so there is a whole new dynamic!

[@lindseyr2990]

This video will do better than others bc I’ve been busy and this was about relationships which are interesting to me!!

[@elitettelbach4247]

The parsley story is very on brand and a great example!

[@stacylitwin1466]

As someone with serious ARFID, food differences are a big bummer, I always feel bad that my partner and I can't really share food or make the same meals together, though we make it work. It's really hurtful when people say stuff like "Oh I could NEVER be with someone who didn't like all kinds of food", like well sure you could, you can't control who you like lol (not saying you said that lol)

[@117mel]

it’s so funny i literally thought about disliking parsley as a dealbreaker before 😂 i feel very seen right now

[@annajensen67]

I totally agree with John on Mama Mia. Sorry Allison

[@nimla]

The type of life and type of relationship part was spot on!

[@marykatespencer9097]

"The four of us really" 😂😂😂

[@tarabrighten1974]

In my marriage the biggest struggle is that I’m from Jewish suburbs and he’s from rural Iowa. Sometimes finding common ground is simply incomprehensible. He even came out as trans after we got married- way easier than trying to explain Jewish sleep away camp

[@c4arla]

my ex downplayed many of he's deal breakers like he didnt want to have kids or some places he refused to visit etc basically consistently lied about how he felt about things

[@stephanierestlessinseattle5261]

I have so many allergies and physical reactions that last weeks. Pet owners are also a no. I feel like I am done dating people who have no allergies. I ruin EVERY food date . I am the odd man out at friends gatherings. On top of the garden variety of personal needs and preferences (autistic) . I feel 100 percent incompatible. I have too many specific needs.

[@hd259607]

Nothing listed here makes you incompatible, just unique. There are a lot of people out there that could not care less. Sadly the ick ones are the loudest.

[@wayneessar7489]

I feel your pain. Lunch at work was the best social occasion in my eyes because folks brought their own food and ate it.

[@whisperingtoadstools]

Mamma Mia 2 is one of my fave movies of all time! I watched it for the first time a week after I had my daughter and SOBBED

[@Emmah1243]

My partner and I have different bedtimes. He's an early bird, I'm a night owl. He snores, I'm a light sleeper. I'm a bit more of a worrier. We have very similar values, want the same lifestyle and both love travelling. We agree on kids and want a close relationship. Hes a kind person. The snoring annoys me but the bigger stuff matters way more.

[@sarahpalmrose4325]

It's a GLOBAL Phenomenon!!! Bwahahahahaha

[@hkcameras]

Another amazing episode :)

[@steakleyclaire]

John is so funny

[@lisalove8532]

4:16 This part got me. Love it😊😊😊

[@AlexaKissLive]

It is cuz you are giving relationship advice. I’m not str8 but me and Allison have similar relationship values and such

[@c.morland]

I like the couples advice. I wonder if the Jewish vs Catholic thing will be more contentious if kids are involved.

[@AdventureswithRach]

Mamma mia was 100% a global phenomenon - and Mamma Mia 2 Here we go again is the BEST

[@itajintic]

Everyone looks extra great!

[@juliap8068]

I agree with Gabe’s ex about the bedtime thing!

[@soccercool13]

Mama mia is one of my favorite movies

[@erinclarke2715]

Mamma mia here we go again is the greatest film of its decade

[@erinclarke2715]

It’s a rom com yet it isn’t very funny or very romantic. It’s a musical with no original music. There is a surprise Cher cameo that is not surprising because she is in the promotional materials and hasn’t appeared yet by the last ten minutes of the movie. A maryl streep cameo that actually IS surprising. The plot is predictable and cheesy. There is a goat. There are long skirts flowing in the sunny summer breeze. What more you you want? You can just turn your brain off and feel joy and nostalgia for 90 minutes

[@erinclarke2715]

But wait theres more. Three women that don’t change their hairstyle after 30 years. The ferry guy who likes everyones hair different than it is. The star crossed couple who couldn’t swim. The waterloo number!?!?! I mean that scene alone is world altering.

[@ksmina]

mamma mia here we go again was a revelation.

[@c4arla]

You guys should have more guests

[@emilyb.8222]

the herbs thing would be big for me 😕

[@kirstenwood5292]

Has anyone said that John is always giving Brennan Lee Mulligan energy?

[@SammieZubek-n8p]

Hardy Plain

[@RichardPutnam-s7i]

Maryse Mission

[@DavidMartinez-i3g]

Russell Court

[@goldfishsnake]

parsley would be a dealbreaker for me, can't stand it (flat or curly) lollll

[@colaty8P]

waaaait i am the same lol i say i hate parsley but i love chimichurri sauce somehow!

[@TrevaOrandello-k2r]

Danika Brooks

[@Schmelon]

How dare you, John! My wife is Greek!

[@marr9999]

otro día otra coronación de gloria 🇦🇷 viva el chimichurri

[@julioagua]

Me quedé pensando quien sera esa Lala...

[@JoseDavis-q1q]

Lenny Row

[@ChristopherJackson-t1r]

Jackson Sarah Hernandez John Young David

[@SirKate]

the subtitles on this are hilariously wrong -- e.g. "human" instead of "cumin" -- but if I was more hard of hearing it'd be a problem

[@vegselene]

Okay I’m totally with Allison on the parsley question. Curly leaf parsley is flavorless, contributes nothing to the dish, and is a sensory nightmare to eat. My hottest take about curly leaf parsley is that it is tacky.

[@AnthonyTaylor-o5j]

Taylor Helen Jackson Sharon Williams Brian

[@aaran2329]

You guys have partners? 😂😂😭😭😭 how the hell do people find people they're compatible with

[@marieluise6907]

🤍🤍🤍

[@deja3963]

All that guff about disliking herbs and her preferred parsley is flat??? That’s the worst one lol Rosemary tastes like pine trees in the most delightful way