How Do You Know When You've Met 'The One'?

Jen Wilkin, Jackie Hill Perry, and Jen Pollock Michel give insights on dating and marriage from a Christian perspective.

[@DylanM15]

So many wander looking for somebody so constantly it takes away from their walk with Christ. I tend to think "the one" is a myth because more often than not those characteristics of what you think you need aren't actually what God knows you need. I think the biggest thing is knowing it's going to be in His timing if any person will come into your life that you're suppose to marry. Within that too understand where you are personally at too. Are you actually right now maturely in a place to grow in Christ with somebody else. Do you still need to grow with Christ before you're ready for that commitment maybe down the road. A lot of people marry young, a lot of people marry older, and a lot of people never marry. Through my own experience whichever of those God has planned for you, you have to keep running toward Christ because he will fulfill you, strengthen you, and sustain you more than a relationship or marriage can or anything on this earth can.

[@potatoes1234]

Dylan, you said it really well. Absolutely true. God has a perfect timing for us, and it may not be our ideal timing.

[@deanikiliagwu1595]

Well said 💙

[@acharich]

Selah.. 🙏🏾

[@myisharivera1464]

This was amazing

[@socb5642]

Very true

[@aurorap.7578]

Honestly though friendships are sadly underrated these days, everyone is in such a rush. You shouldn't rush the foundations. Good solid foundations very often take time to build.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Amen!

[@toknowhim3987]

"He becomes the one once you say yes to him." Good stuff

[@BethKnox32]

Unfortunstely considering failed marriages not sure this applies😔

[@jumokeonifade85]

I think divorces happen to people who marry the ‘one’ there are so many other factors that make a marriage work or make a marriage fail

[@siba8615]

Preston over at home blushing😂😂

[@israeloyedele8479]

Oh yeah 😂😂😂

[@tylermcgill2733]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@jumokeonifade85]

Such a beautiful couple

[@stepstep0302]

Yes! Friendship! So many want to skip this step!

[@acharich]

🎯🎯🎯

[@geraldineunelus7174]

Yes. Friendship is the foundation

[@jinnybikini]

💯💯💯Dating has become so difficult. Men just don’t want to invest in the friendship part😩😩😩

[@kpec3]

Guys won't be friends with women they want to date. When a woman friendzones a guy, they never change it. I agree with other men on this. If you loved a guy for years who didn't think of you as more than a friend, you would understand because it's painful. It's a wound that cuts again and again.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

I find that friendships are the best way to develop meaningful romantic relationships. My parents, aunt and uncle and many other couples I know started as friends. That way you get to know one another with little pressure. Right now me and this guy are friends and we are both interested in one another but taking it slow. I feel God is directing it to be that way but of course everyone is different

[@Alinaandmommy]

Jackie’s response was the realist.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

I agree with you :D

[@Humblywise]

They were all real

[@ErA-el1je]

He becomes the ONE!! That's good!!

[@sbentsen2714]

that's super good!

[@ChasingPossibilities]

"willing to follow" reminded me of Isaac and Rebecca..i've been encountering their stories and this reminder recently. A genuine affection and the desire to grow and learn and not just something romantic..

[@mastersway5134]

Friendship is absolutely everything!

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Yes!

[@PrincessOwusu]

Friendship is so important. And I agree..when you choose yo be with someone, he/she becomes the one. We ought to stray away from the mystical narrative that there is solely one person on the entire Earth for you. I enjoyed this chat!

[@acharich]

There u go.. 💣

[@Israelb7616]

People need to understand there's no soul mate. But God appoint someone to be with you.

[@willcoleman2014]

‘The one’ is a myth. There are lots of ‘ones’ out there for you. Love is a decision and starts with friendship, true friendship. Two busted marriages taught me that.

[@jsantos17]

Pray before you open your heart emotionally. There are many potential partners but if you're only lead emotionally, physically. "The heart is wicked amongst all things, guard it" What about the highest form of compatibility? Spiritually? God desires to be a part of all aspects of our lives. Do you think making a lifelong covenant would be something he wouldn't want a say in? Let's say you marry an unbeliever or someone that is unequally yoked. Or you become impatient and marry someone before finding your purpose? Wouldn't such a massive choice affect your life daily? No offence but 2 failed marriages don't show the wisest choices. Being compatible for a season, doesn't mean you've chosen a life long partner. Half of marriages end in divorce. Yes there are many potential partners before allowing our feelings to overtake us, let us pray. For God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and his ways higher than ours God Bless friends

[@acharich]

🎯🎯🎯

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

I agree.

[@wj2107]

I agree with the points in this video. I completed a devotional recently and the last day’s point was “God presents, we choose.” I’m still in waiting and expectation. ✌🏽

[@a55a55inx]

I believe that the idea of "The One" can be damaging to some marriages because it's very "ME" focused. (Is this person right for ME? Is he/she compatible with MY personality? etc.) The Bible never says "Marry the person you fall in love it." Instead, the Bible commands us to love the person we are married to. When we are too focused on "The One", we may question whether or not we made the right choice in marriage, and may want to search for the person who we believe is the one we're supposed to end up with.

[@jumokeonifade85]

There’s a Tv series called Soulmates on amazon prime that 100% demonstrates this

[@yolandawilson6619]

I'd love to hear or be a part of a conversation on this! I love this!

[@user-kx2vw8xe5h]

I feel her on the love vs liking a person. I’ve been married before and didn’t like him nor did I respect him. Thanks for posting!

[@e.wilson9613]

"Cause you're gonna be with them forever, God willing," perfect ending to this segment and humble.:)

[@sbentsen2714]

Dang I really wish I had heard that and received that when I was younger, that is one thing Ive really had a hard thing doing is forming friendships with women. I think I can grow in this area, thank you for posting this!

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

You can do it! I used to have a hard time forming friendships with men, but it's been so meaningful having friendships with people of the opposite gender. I learn a lot from my male friends

[@iamchosennotforsaken5421]

Jesus is coming soon! He died for us on the cross and rose again. He is Risen and Alive. He went here to save us from sins like a lawyer and now He is coming back as our judge, there is no other way tos salvation except through Him, come to Him today. ☝🏼

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Amen

[@neydanguema4123]

Amén

[@brattydayszs4133]

Amen

[@ShonenDClipz]

Amen

[@nadinegomez8858]

Yeah admiration is KEY. It’s hard to find an admirable man these days.. even in the church

[@socb5642]

So true

[@Sunny_losangelis]

The point of friendships and "liking" them...so much yess!

[@MarkEthanTV]

i really needed this video

[@chloetic]

This was so helpful thankyou

[@leonisaacs3512]

Y'all peep the panel consist of all women with the first name starting with J! Good Wisdom!

[@geraldinebaranal2357]

SO GOOD. THANK YOU!!!

[@kaya214]

Jackie spoke that! Listen what she shared was biblical like true and true it’s powerful ladies listen. Of all the points listen she identified something incredible like on a whole other level wow.

[@kika1481a]

That was a really healthy and good way to approach such delicate subject, since many of us were bombarded with chick flick images idealizing the image of “the one”; I was wondering if you guys would be able to do the “sequencing” of this video, which would be (I wonder) about the ‘first step’, meaning who approached who.

[@acharich]

🎯🎯🎯 And *he* that finds.......

[@doyinm]

Very good conversation!

[@dashelledisna6239]

The one is the one you choose. Yes, the Lord has someone special for you, but we also have the gift of FREE WILL. You decided who to marry ,based on your own will. Loving the person for who they are, not what they do!

[@judahmeres]

This is true but I want "the one" God has for me because I've seen too many times people getting into marriages because they chose based on their own will, excluding God's and it's not healthy and overall harming for both parties, mentally, spirituality, emotionally, etc. If I'm choosing, I hope I'm choosing "the one" in the will of God and not my own!

[@dashelledisna6239]

@@judahmeres absolutely. WILL > the ONE

[@acharich]

@@judahmeres when His desires become our desires, we choose in accordance with His heart & thus, His will.. 💣

[@alphie10]

@@judahmeres Let me give you some words of encouragement. God has appointed for His Sons the wife's who they should marry just like He appointed Rebekah for Isaac, Eve for Adam, Leah for Jacob etc. the problem is most people go about this the wrong way. They are too focused on getting a spouse so they don't seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. It is written An immoral woman is a deep pit and he who is abhorred by The Lord falls in it. In other words if God Hates what you're doing He will let you get decieved by an immoral woman or husband and you're going to fall into that pit and suffer the consequences. When you seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and grow with Christ and focus on Him, He will put you on your path to meet your spouse. This happened to me, I was focused on my journey with Christ... And he knew my desire to be married...and low and behold He showed me who my wife is with absolute clarity and then I pursued her with help from The Lord and with my own two eyes I witnessed the power of God as He put us together and I felt it immediately in my spirit that she's the one (she doesn't know I'm her husband yet but in due course she will and His word will come to pass.) Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, grow with Christ and don't focus on a wife (or a husband), then when you're ready He will show you in His time who He has chosen for you. Seek Him diligently and He will add your hearts desire. God is SO wonderful, He has already planned everything for you, you just have to be focused on Him to find it. All praise to God. Amen.

[@jacobjasch4397]

Wise words.

[@juanduque4609]

you can't know until after knowing each other a while

[@shianasaintable3352]

Will definitely be teaching my kids this

[@massieldelrosario3920]

Hi Shiana, so funny to bump into you online, I am your neighbor from 115 Street. I’m the eldest of the four daughters, we left the house in 2003. You grew up to be a beautiful young lady, I’m so happy to see you on Christian media!

[@LorenaHarper]

I just prayed & asked God 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@aileenprestan1823]

Let what God united, no man separate. I think the most important part is to know if it's God's will. Because to know someone, to think because you are friends for years it will work... It's not true because being husband and wife is a whole different thing.

[@Young_Zealous]

Thank you girls

[@missatricia7337]

I cultivate friendships but then get stuck in the friend zone 😩

[@acharich]

😅😅😅

[@kclark777v]

Focus on growing in the Lord. And the right guy will befriend you. And he won’t be able to imagine life without you.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

@@kclark777v Amen!

[@Obamnaz]

@@kclark777v yes if it’s his will. I am crushing on his girl at my church and she has no idea. I am being patient, we shall see what happens

[@kclark777v]

@@Obamnaz You’re right. Just a little advice from someone who’s been there: It’s not about who you think you want. It’s about who you are going to be. Make that your focus. And practice being the type of person who’s interested in spiritual growth for yourself and others as a brother in Christ.

[@alexmagana8984]

But she spoke truth in one sentence in my perspective

[@shianasaintable3352]

*sigh* I wish more people watched this before they get into relationships

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Same here. This is some good advice!

[@GodGirlP]

How to know if someone is the one? God will tell you YES or NO if you ask Him is they are The One.❤ God did it for me. God will tell you who your Spouse Is. God said to me of my Husband to be " He will be your husband , and you guys will get married at this church." Our Church! And God said that to me in church as I randomly was looking at Him. To God Be The Glory.❤

[@acharich]

Whilst I believe He can & does speak in that way sometimes, I don't think ur experience constitutes a one-size-fits-all.. 📖 He speaks to each of us differently, but His Word is sure & remains the same, and there we find principles that can apply to all.. 🙏🏾

[@GodGirlP]

@@acharich The Word says " if any of you lacks wisdom let Him ask of God..." & also The word says " Trust in The LORD with all thy Heart and Lean not unto thy own Understanding , in All thy Ways acknowledge Him , and He shall direct your Paths." ... The Bible has more verses that talks about To directing us in the ways we should Go. God telling us if someone Is or isn't our Spouse is the way He Directs us on the issue. He can Say Yes through His Voice , Scripture , other people confirming His answer ( ALL of which I've experienced together when God told me.) But Yes , He will direct our Paths when we Pray for Wisdom.❤ Blessings Brother.💕

[@acharich]

@@GodGirlP I fully agree with that sis, not arguing.. I believe God will indeed speak, I just meant the way he speaks to one may be different from another, but what I said goes with what u have just added, they aren't contradictory.. haha blessings..!

[@aileenprestan1823]

AMEN

[@armoredbolshack]

Friendship 👍 would you say the same principles apply for men too? We need this kind of video too 😁

[@acharich]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@aurorap.7578]

Do you know how rare it is (at least in my environment) to find guys who genuinely just want to be friends? And don't rush the process of becoming friends? Give time to see them as a whole person, their faults, their gifts, their habits in their interactions with the world. Who do not place expectations for more than just a friendship and simply appreciate what I have to offer as a friend. I have a friend whom I've been friends with for four and a half years. If the Lord placed it on his heart to pursue me I wouldn't refuse. I am not in love with him by any means but I'd be open to potentially walking down that path as long as the Lord is leading because I know we'd be able to fall back on our friendship.

[@amorerobinson4140]

I would think so, why not?

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Yes!

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

In my belief it is the men who are called to pursue the women, but I could be wrong. So after being friends with a girl for awhile and you want to pursue her, go for it! Many of us ladies love guys who are clear about their intentions!

[@kpec3]

If you aren't sure, they aren't The One.

[@shayleightsosie7314]

You’re right. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that they’re “the one”, you will find yourself becoming miserable and unhappy. Speaking from experience.

[@kpec3]

@@shayleightsosie7314 Yes, chemistry can't be forced. It's either there or it isn't. That's my opinion.

[@kayleemuyu8184]

@@kpec3 it’s not really ab chemistry tho, it’s more ab commitment

[@kpec3]

@@kayleemuyu8184 You would commit to someone you don't have chemistry with? I think not.

[@kayleemuyu8184]

@@kpec3 chemistry always wears off eventually. looks & physical attraction will fade and infatuation will wear off, showing you what you couldn’t see when you were blinded by “love” (infatuation). when you’re not being blind sided by infatuation, that’s when you really see the person for who they are and chose to continue being w them, that’s real love, not the type you see in movies. love is not ab chemistry at all

[@apracity7672]

As long as she is strong in her faith and I have an attraction for her, it will be the one for me

[@davidashley959]

The are two ladies called Jen.

[@rsg833]

🔥

[@isaacmeredith9421]

Alright I’ll get friendzoned then. I got this don’t worry

[@TheBORKSTAR]

.lol

[@paulineamayun]

Saame😂😂

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

Trust me, friendships are definitely the best way to start. But don't be afraid of telling her that you like her when you start to like her.

[@isaacmeredith9421]

@@elodiebenoit-girault8638 Thanks for the encouragement. I’m already friends with her but are friend group isn’t that old. Will try to keep it that way.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

@@isaacmeredith9421 You got this! And I believe if it's meant to be, God will guide you guys into a relationship if that makes sense. :) Praying for ya!

[@tyronemosley6810]

God willing...😒

[@lexie02jones25]

I don't even know where to meet these guys.

[@shayleightsosie7314]

In my opinion, I think we can meet these kind of guys at places where God is present. I believe that when you follow the path God has planned for you, he will add on the person he wants you to marry into your journey. A married Christian man once told me, don’t go searching for love, as love will find you.

[@melonie_peppers]

What? I've never heard of that in my entire life! Your birth position? Lmao what!!!!!!???? Well my boyfriend and I are both last borns but I've never thought anything of that.

[@elodiebenoit-girault8638]

God bless your guys' relationship

[@natalieharquail4845]

Unless guided by the holy spirit the one could be the one sent by the devil to destroy you

[@ntokotom147]

💯💯

[@islandslimting1838]

Jackie's side eye 👀

[@philipbrister]

The one. This is such a terrible idea, and I’m pretty sure it is not Biblical. Christ is the one. Find someone who agrees with that and the Word of God. Then act accordingly. That’s it.

[@blackomenmuzik]

He becomes the one after you say yes to him????🤔🤔🤔🤔 No ma'am.

[@shanellewarner6873]

I think the lady was just saying that is when you truly know that person is the one because marriage is supposed to be permanent. Like you can feel these things in your heart but it officially being true is when you say I do

[@acharich]

@@shanellewarner6873 🎯🎯🎯

[@diamondansong5328]

I believe what she is saying is even when you realized you chose someone so different from you... that you have to find a way to love them anyway because you made vows before God.. so she was speaking of endurance and finding things in them that you love and holding onto and celebrating... Marriage is serious and once you make that vow thats it... just be prayerful, cautious, and be led by God and make sure its God

[@doctrinalwatchdog6268]

I thought JHP was a lesbian?

[@layomioyewoleable]

She was. Then she came to know about God's love for her and she embraced it. Now she's happily married to a man and they have 3 daughters.

[@doctrinalwatchdog6268]

@@layomioyewoleable okay, if she came to know Christ I wish she would stop supporting Black Lives Matter which is a Marxist organization committed to the destruction of the nuclear family.

[@yolandawilson6619]

@@doctrinalwatchdog6268 You're completely wrong on this and if you knew that she is a supporter of Black Lives Matter, you also knew her story and that she is married with children. In actuality the bible discusses injustices and what we are to do in such cases. One thing it tells us to do is to mourn with one another. So if you can comfortably watch or ignore the proven social injustices, police brutality, etc toward a specific group of people, you may want to examine your heart and your actual commitment to the commands of the Lord with one of the greater two being to love one another as we love ourselves. So if you are ok with seeing a police officer kneel on your neck with his hands leisurely in his pocket as you lay dying, maybe it isn't too hard for you to accept it being done to others. Righteousness is a call and a responsibility.

[@GogoGogo-xf8uf]

Stretching you doesn’t sound better then pushing

[@acharich]

Haha, I understand both.. 💯 Doesn't have to have negative connotations.. 😅

[@alexmagana8984]

Idk if I agree with this lighter complected woman

[@joelbedulla4]

This video has nothing to do with race. God bless you.

[@acharich]

@@joelbedulla4 💀💀💀

[@debras3806]

Good advice... But it's VITAL to mention that there's not a "one" for everyone -- God calls many to imitate Jesus and Paul in being single for the Kingdom! Videos from leaders and culture-shapers such as TGC should not leave this Biblical truth out ;).

[@thegospelcoalition]

Good point. While the speakers didn't get around to addressing singleness in this video, we have several others on the topic: kzbin.info/www/bejne/raKcm5mDhaynopY kzbin.info/www/bejne/kKS9opiQh798rNU kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3jRiIWjo9SjaqM

[@acharich]

@@thegospelcoalition ✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾

[@LetsBeClear87]

The Gospel Coalition y’all are the best. JHP got me here but I just subscribed. God bless

[@ruthwhittemore7255]

Interesting point I just heard on this: Jesus, (though he of course didn't marry while he lived on earth) isn't really an example of a single person because he is described several times as the true husband of the church. ❤

[@hondotheology]

Return to arranged marriages

[@linza2345]

Disappointing. Didn't hear a lot of biblical advice here.

[@GogoGogo-xf8uf]

Never get dating advice from women. Friend zoned first hahaha BS

[@acharich]

It's different in church tbh..

[@samdushukyan9595]

@@acharich that's just not true! It's all the same. Female nature is what it is. "Friends first" HAHAHAHAHAHA I literally had to sit down from laughing

[@lilrabbitcuz]

When she’s a sweet heart not toxic and has been with no more than 3 dudes. Anymore than that she’s for the streets

[@milliesaysokboomer]

Right? I don't like girls who have had too many relationships too. If they fall in love in a blink of an eye u can bet it'll be a problem in marriage. People don't change.

[@emzotp]

Does this rule apply to guys as well?

[@lilrabbitcuz]

@@emzotp that’s up to you. I don’t date men