How does Secondary Abuse Affect Victims of Emotional Abuse | Dr. David Hawkins

[@edenalicerosebelovedchildo5958]

Oh my gosh! You nailed this. “When someone minimizes or invalidates the survivors experience, it can feel like reliving the abuse.” Thank you for stating it so plainly!

[@blu-r7h]

As I listened, I realized my withdrawal from community at this time, because of the secondary abuse from when I initially reached out several "rounds" ago. It felt like rejection of me. In some way it was because it was hard to present just portions of who I am without sacrificing my experience and sense of self. I needed help, asked for help and was diminished again. It's a circle or cycle that doesn't stop like a hamster on a wheel. I have withdrawn for safety. The abuse is a repeat and I was walking on eggshells. At least I am feeling a bit better, but I am not sure I have the strength to keep trying to find help. Thanks for validating this concept.

[@lorimoratto4162]

I would like to add a fifth consequence of secondary abuse when no support is given: betrayal.

[@lisahalpin8807]

"Unwilling To Take The Time"

[@carsonlogan1969]

Indeed. When I finally, after 20 years, reached out to a friend because I was scared of his behavior and what he might do to me, I was invalidated. She didn't watch the videos I sent, in desperation, trying to be understood, and asked me why I didn't just leave. I finally did leave, but I felt completely alone in all I did to do so. Now, so many feel sorry for him, with all his lies, when it was his awful behavior that caused me to have to leave my home and everything I had known my whole life. Hurt upon hurt. It's awful. I have been gone 6 months and I just wont talk to her about my experience anymore. It didn't matter to her then, and it doesn't matter to her now. Her attitude is, "Well, have you forgiven him yet?" Complete lack of understanding... I regret ever talking to her about it.

[@NcScbeach1]

Yes! It sure is! My father verbally abused me , and throughout my life Sunday school teachers or teachers saw the signs but my mom didn’t get help. I’ve since asked her and she said she didn’t know but I think she was far more abused than I’ll ever know. I had siblings that were verbally abusing me , and then my sister bit me on the face before my prom. My mom didn’t do anything about it as my dad took away her voice .

[@kristinmeyer489]

4:10 I'm glad you brought up the amplification of emotional pain caused by secondary abuse, because not only do I know this is true from my own childhood experiences, but as an adult, I have endured the secondary abuse of stalkers, trolls, and other disturbed characters who believe themselves to be superman-superior. The internet provides food for these life murderers.

[@TheRisingFenix]

@2:00 that was what the psychologist that I was going to said, the secondary abuse from that person was horrific and the counseling turned him into the victim. He is constantly re-traumatizing me with his minimizing, justification, and diminishing of my experience from his betrayal. If if we had the money, I would leave him in a heartbeat, but there is no financial resources for me to do that. He’s never been a good provider, but was perfectly happy to live off of the money that I had, move into the home that I had and even let me buy us a different house to live in that he never paid for. What a loser.

[@eschmigu]

Thank you❤

[@Michael-f9y7k]

While it isn’t a guarantee that the counselor or their advice will be helpful, I would add the importance of licensing to be considered. At least that provides the person who has experienced secondary abuse some recourse if the counselor engages in harmful or unethical practice.

[@SONOFGODVIII]

They don’t care… I’ve tried so many times to make them get I’ve true I’ve tried… the exception is only one person.. they said maybe I was over reacting but they aren’t as bad as the others… but still bad

[@michaelcummings8744]

"Unwilling to take the time" Dr.David Hawkins and his team won't take even a minute with you unless you pay several hundreds or thousands of dollars. Hope everyone after their crisis is made.of money because they offer nothing otherwise. I know, I called and spoke with the receptionist for 20 min and found zero support and didn't even feel cared for or understood. Videos are one thing. True care another

[@juliekong5013]

I'm sorry you don't feel cared for - that's awful. But they *are* providing tons of free material right here. (And a receptionist taking 20 min to talk is quite amazing, in my experience.)

[@Michael-f9y7k]

Consider yourself very lucky. This is not the place to go if you want support or to save a broken relationship. They generally do not follow protocols, they create false narratives between the couples, many of their clinicians are either unlicensed or have restrictions on their licenses and will stretch things out until you go broke. Very lousy.