How Encina Copes with Grief from a Break Up [Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder]

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You may remember Encina from our interview on what it's like living with dissociative identity disorder (DID). Now she says it's time to focus on herself. Here's how she copes with grief from a break up.
Encina says it's time to focus on herself. In this MedCircle Series Inside Look, Encina discusses how she finds meaning with dissociative identity disorder (DID) and other mental health struggles. SHe details how her break-up has affected her mental health journey. But as Kyle says, "the worst things in life come to us because we have to learn a lesson."
Encina and Kyle also discuss how happiness comes from within us - we can't count on relationships with other people to solely make us happy. We all want connections and a relationship, but it still comes down to ourselves - we need to put in the work to work on ourselves. Here's how she plans to sustain self-love and be happy
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ABOUT THE SERIES:
We first sat down with Encina Severa in 2018 to discuss what it’s like to live with dissociative identity disorder (DID). But we didn’t get the full picture. In this series, we flesh out Encina’s full mental illness journey. Welcome to the MedCircle original series, “Encina Severa: Living with DID and Co-Occurring Disorders.”
In this new series, Kyle & Encina talk about the reaction to the original dissociative identity disorder interview, more about what it's like to live with multiple personalities, and what it's like to live with other mental health disorders:
- Depression (or major depressive disorder) with mixed features
- Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)
- Complex PTSD (c-PTSD)
Encina ends the series with insight into how she found the right treatment for each disorder. After watching this full series, you'll walk away with actionable advice on how to find the right mental health treatment.

[@MedCircle]

How do you find meaning & purpose despite life's struggles?

[@00Victoriah]

just want to give Encina the biggest freaking hug in the world <3

[@jan2351]

"It's getting worse as I get older". I think this everyday.

[@Algo1]

"I can't heal myself if I'm also trying to heal other people"

[@debsymoon7124]

Going through a really tough time myself right now too and really feel for her :(

[@heatherjones6997]

You can do this Encina!

[@Tsukiyo165]

Awww this makes me wanna hug her. Hang in there girl! You got this!!

[@floxendoodle942]

Encina - You are a beautiful young woman, inside and out! Thank you for sharing about your life to help others. I pray that you will give your heart to God through Christ, as He is the only one who can give you true healing and peace. As a young woman and former atheist, I endured terrible crises in my life, and it wasn’t until I was truly at the end of my rope at age 27 that I cried out for help to God. I didn’t really expect an answer (since I was an atheist) but he reached down and touched me with his love. Long story short, I got off that bathroom floor a changed person and I’m still walking with Him at age 55. Life isn’t always a bed of roses for me, but I know that he hears my prayers, comforts me, and never leaves my side. I pray that you will know the love and peace of God as well! God bless you, beautiful soul!

[@hawa1159]

Am educated by this series. It is touching and I have watched her first video too

[@mildredmelusine6970]

The sentiment that he espouses “That no one should be our everything and be our source of happiness, and that we should be so independent as to provide all of that ourselves” is a very value laden statement. I think that people who are privileged enough to be that independent and to be able to do that for themselves pass judgement on others who are more interdependent and relationship based. I don’t think she’s wrong for having felt that her partner was her everything. I think that’s actually fairly normal. I think it’s a bit rude for a man who had probably never depended on his partner financially, or desperately needed the emotional support of his partner to function to tell her that she should not be as vulnerable and needy as she is. Of course to the interviewer it seems easy and obvious not to rely on others, but he’s likely coming from a position of strength. Not everyone has the same tools and inner resources as him and he shouldn’t hold them to the standards he can set for himself.

[@elscorten]

dear Encina, if you want someone to talk to in the middle of the night, I live in Europe and am home a lot. Don't hesitate to reach out.

[@AE-vu9rz]

Absolutely love encina. She is giving me shark boy and lava girl vibes with that bad ass hair but anywayyyyy Medcircle is truly a blessing. I think her life will change for the better thanks to these interviews. I feel like she was kind of lost and hiding in her own world, now she is comfortable and seems relaxed talking about this topic, and thanks to the internet (which most of the time is a fucking horrible thing to have happened to humans but in this case NO!) I think people will return that kind of openness and give her the empathy she needs. She is clearly beautiful inside and out. Just struggling. We all do and it’s alright.

[@manushka7297]

I suffer with Bipolar 1 Disorder, CPTSD, agoraphobia, depression and anxiety disorder. I also just lost my father (even called him on father's day bc I forgot he was gone). So the complexity of dealing with your mental health issues but also having to put your grief first which also plays into your mental health. It's a tough spot to be in. And this just hit right on the nose. I recognize and empathize with your pain and struggle Encina. Knowing we aren't alone helps, but also doing everything you can do for yourself to get through this period is the first priority. I feel very blessed to live in a time where we're increasing awareness and am able to go online and get educated and connect with others with similar struggles bc we cannot heal and deal alone we all need support.

[@esrajp]

Your dog seems super happy and relaxed with you :)

[@604Sonnelion]

"It's getting harder every day". I know what you mean.... there's a lump in my throat as I'm typing this. Your breakup: Even "normal" people have a hard type getting past breakups, even when they break up with someone who didn't really treat them nice. I understand how hard it was for you, breaking up with a guy that was the way you described it. A friend of mine once told me that "people are like buses. they come and go, but there's always another one that's coming to the station to pick you up from there, you just have to wait a bit." Yeah, people come and go, even the good or great ones. For many reasons. And I agree with Kyle, nobody should have that kind of power over us. And they have that kind of power because we give it to them, because we trust them, because we think they will always be there. We must appreciate what they've done for us and the time we spent together with them, then move on because there are other great people out there, maybe not as great as him, maybe greater, maybe just different than him, but there are. There are special people out there. But they are not easy to find. That's why they are special. :) If they were easy to find, they wouldn't be so special. Like a diamond hidden in the mud. You need to dig and dig in dirt until you find that "precious". You said you "lost" your best friend. He also lost you. He lost an amazing woman.

[@tg2814]

This world needs more Kyle's

[@chimeiamv]

I’ve been grieving a breakup for almost a year now and it never goes away. I thought I’d be better by now. Everything she said about her ex is how I felt about mine. I can’t help but cry.

[@becurly8784]

As a person with BPD I know what it is like to make a special person being with me the top priority in life. As I started to take medicine and research I realised that noone should become my whole world- I am myslef and there are always other areas of life to solve and be involded in, sometimes I focus 100% on the other person as means to escape solving my own issues.

[@GayEspanto]

Watched this after a year this video was posted. Still cheering for Encina and I hope that she had overcome all of this. Virtual hug to her and to everyone who is going through the same thing right now especially during this pandemic.

[@lilithdaughter8037]

omg so much pain in her , and I thought I was having a bad day 😔