How gate guards in each branch check IDs.

Song: On my mind- Thato Santana (unreleased)
His KZbin👇🏾
/ @thatosantana4003
www.dirtbagmilitaryclothing.com
This video is non DOD affiliated

[@renrifle]

The Marine wasnt on guard duty, he escaped work detail for 30 mins and went feral.

[@dirkdigler595]

HA!😆 that’s really funny

[@icel8828]

I don’t know why I like the idea of marines becoming feral

[@SwiftyMcVeigh851]

Fo real..nobody wants none....

[@pavlelazarevic5042]

Just like zerg lol

[@T1Oracle]

@@icel8828 I thought that was a prerequisite for recruitment...

[@deejay4264]

"I got a fire arm in the back" "I would hope so bro you military protect yaself" 😂

[@anonymous-gz4wq]

God if only.

[@Wallstreet762]

😆😆😆

[@snowfox4704]

@@anonymous-gz4wq FACTS 💯

[@thebanditman5663]

Not shit drove back onto post one time with my truck full of guns I bought at a show one weekend. Gate guard was more impressed than anything.

[@BlackHole171]

@@thebanditman5663 lol what happened after that?

[@NorthernWisconsinandStuff]

As a retired Marine, I can confirm this. I lost it at “chewing a crayon”. He needed the car to visit your mom.

[@andrewthompson5728]

At least the crayon was red.

[@haydenTenno-]

What’s your favourite flavour of crayon?

[@NorthernWisconsinandStuff]

@@haydenTenno- just add Tobasco…then they’re all good!

[@NorthernWisconsinandStuff]

@@haydenTenno- just add Tobasco…then they’re all good!

[@andrewthompson5728]

@@haydenTenno- plaid

[@johnmorrissey5105]

My father was a major and an MP in the army. We were stationed at Ft. Hamilton in Brooklyn. One day we came to the gate , going home, which was on the base. The guard was leaning against the inside wall of the booth with his hat pushed back on his head. He smiled and waved us through, barely looking at us. My father stopped the car, got out, and proceeded to tear the guard a new one for about 5 minutes. The army depiction is balls-on accurate...

[@phelinephrenzy2358]

Now that's the Army I remember! 🫡

[@bobjohn2000]

The Air Force one is on point as well. I think it’s because AF bases almost always have super expensive assets (either planes or R&D stuff) that the security culture is so high. Even service members coming on an AF base sometimes get the whole shake down.

[@i-..--..--..-i6985]

@@bobjohn2000 You ain’t kidding, especially if they stock any canned sunshine on base. I got to take a private tour the museum at Vandenberg a few years back. If you get the opportunity to see it, GO! Ask the curator to tell you his sea story. (One ping only). All the SP’s were rocking full combat kit with side arms and M4 carbines. It took about 2 hours to get background checked, photographed, and sufficiently documented to get on base. We did catch 2 SP’s doing the nasty up on the road to the cliff petroglyphs. 🤣🤣🤣

[@solpag]

Do we have the same dad?? Lol or does this just happen too often?

[@jamesphillips5868]

@@solpag…Ya’ll probably have the same dad…Army tradition to spread that seed!😂

[@lexquodius]

Love how there was only 1 Marine, he doesn't need a battle buddy, *he's his own battle buddy.*

[@dnatest585]

👍100

[@ggmanatee]

He has his crayons, he's fine

[@paskky913]

DEAD DEAD DEAD DROP ON THE GROUND PRIVATE DROP ON THE GROUD YOU'RE DEAD I STABBED YOU TOO MANY TIMES THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A BATTLE BUDDY PRIVATE

[@aesrenjoseph496]

he got stabbed cz he didnt hv one

[@JC-kz3ut]

@Paskky SAFETY IN NUMBBBEEERRRRRRRSSSSS

[@rjkurtz]

I’m a former Active Duty Marine, that had me rollin! He did NOT steal the car, he “Tactically Acquired” it for “security purposes”. Also, we do not SMOKE crayons, we only chew them. Helps us focus.

[@dirtroadsandwoodstoves]

😁 🤣 😂

[@grimaldo99]

Only shitbags are former Marines!!! Are you a shitbag? ever heard ONCE A MARINE, ALWAYS A MARINE??? True Marines are only Active Marines and Inactive Marines. Unfuck yourself and get down and push, boot.

[@geraldposter1496]

@@grimaldo99 was waiting for someone to say that. Im in the army and even I know that. I remember I was chatting with a marine who reenlisted and went army. So we're chatting and this private comes and hears about that and he goes "oh you used to be a marine" and we both just stared at him. I went "Easy killer, fuzzy doesn't know what he just said" and explained it to him. To his credit he apologized afterwards.

[@geraldposter1496]

@Matt Gimble it's a marine corps thing. Keep in mind I'm army, so take with a grain of salt. You can take a marine out of the corps, but you can't take the corps out of the marine. Essentially, once a marine always a marine mindset. Going with what other guy said, the only former marines are shitbags who got kicked out (not for something legitimate like injuries, like you were bad at your job, lazy, generally more liability than asset, and not really fixable so you got the boot), so in a way calling a marine a former marine is basically saying they were a piece of shit who never should have been in the corps in the first place. Like I don't think they'd get angry at a civilian saying that, probably just correct them, but between military branches we have the infamous interservice rivalry. We know about each other so we can hate on each other, mostly in good fun. So a soldier says that, there's a decent chance they knew what they were saying making it come across as an insult.

[@tjpatmos6350]

I’m so fucking confused why the fuck do they say marines chew crayons

[@Marz560]

As a former Marine who used to do gate guard, I can confirmed that this is how I felt 110% of the time 😂😂😂

[@Erilis000]

Confused and angry? 😆

[@henryesj6242]

Hey man you still a marine

[@Marz560]

@@henryesj6242 nah I’m out now.

[@henryesj6242]

@@Marz560 Once a marine always a Marine. You're a jarhead, jarhead.

[@sieunhau1]

@@Marz560shut up crayon eater

[@Cookymanx]

24 year AF vet and this had me in tears!!! I haven't laughed this hard in days! Thank you for your service!!!😂😂😂

[@annagarcia1527]

Thank YOU for your service!

[@bluzfiddler1]

AF vet here too. Freaking spot-on nah??

[@cozzietwothousand2707]

I have to compliment the Marines; they've been been guarding the gates to Navy bases for over 200 years, and in all that time not a single gate has been stolen.

[@eldeberry5366]

thats funny

[@darthhauler9947]

Too bad they didn't protect the USS United States with that same level of dedication

[@prm414]

They should have been at Kinloss, one of the locals removed a door from a visiting HumV.

[@frig1]

Semper Fi. Thanks for the ride.

[@TheTarrMan]

I gotta change that.

[@jarrettvalentine9530]

Driver: “I don’t have back windows, it’s a 2 door” Gate guard: “you should have them” 🤣🤣

[@Boomshakalaga]

Thanks for writing what exactly it says in the video! 🤣🤣

[@jalbertking5170]

how do you argue with that? you just nod.

[@reztlest]

u watched the vid too?

[@1newearth]

The mark of the beast will be IN the right hand or IN the forehead. It is spiritual and physical. Most of the world worships the beast by keeping sunday, friday, Christmas, Easter, Eid, Diwali, etc. There is something physical coming that people will have to take if they want to buy or sell. Muslims go to the mosque on fridays. Repent. Happy new year! The new covenant will not save you if you continue being rebellious and stubborn against the word of the Lord. It is a sin to steal and a sin to forget the sabbath (saturday). *1 Samuel **15:23** KJV - For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.* Witchcraft, sorcery idolatry, witches, sorcerers, idolaters will be cast into hellfire. Only they that are washed in the blood of the Lord Jesus and keep his commandments shall be kings and priests. There is no such thing as a sunday rest or sunday sabbath in the Bible. Only the seventh day is blessed, sanctified and hallowed. Isaiah 66:22,23 says that from one new moon to another and from one sabbath to another shall all flesh worship before the Lord in the new earth. Matthew 7:21-23 proves that not everyone that says Jesus is Lord will enter the kingdom. We need to do the will of the Father which is to obey and honor our Lord Jesus Christ. He kept the sabbath, new moons and holy days while he walked the earth. Why do you keep sunday, Christmas, Easter and January 1st which he never kept? Repent.

[@TrippyVillain]

@@1newearth you tweaking

[@dwaynegreen1786]

I was in the Air Force and it was always interesting and sometimes scary working with the Marines. In one example, an airman from our section went to make a fuel delivery where the marines had setup camp and the marine perimeter guard thought he was being tested because he wasn’t previously notified of the airman’s arrival. He ordered the airman in the prone position until he verified his I’d. When I came out the next day, I ensured everything was cleared for me to be there…I didn’t want to eat any dirt😅

[@enclavesoldier769]

I’d tell him fuck off, different branch different rules. Have to talk to my leadership to make me sweat

[@sinaslade]

He was gone ratty your touey

[@arnaldoenriquez6191]

That's crazy lol he thought he was being tested 😅

[@dwaynegreen1786]

@@arnaldoenriquez6191 exactly 😅

[@rjkurtz]

That’s because we Marines know when something doesn’t look right. An AIRMEN coming into MARINE territory? That’s like a rabbit walking into a den of hungry lions!

[@eXcludeyStarling]

I work on an Air Force base and this is so accurate. The amount of times I am asked to roll my back windows down DURING THE DAY is laughable. But I figured out a secret, if you bring a pup with you they lose focus and catch army gate guard energy

[@whatchyagonnado]

OMG YES

[@suran396]

LOL I was in the AF and also spent time on Marine Corps bases. I didn't think much of his MC depiction, but the AF one was spot on. Speaking of pups. I had just purchased a 8 week old Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever and was driving into the US from Canada. At the border they routinely asked if I had anything to declare and I started handing over paperwork. When the guard realized what she was looking at, she asked,"a puppy, huh? Can I see it?" She then proceeded to get a 10 minute puppy fix while the line behind me got longer...and longer....

[@ssfbob456]

As prior security forces...you're right.

[@blackrifle3932]

Gotta love the Army skit. Driver: “I have a gun in the back” Guard: “I HOPE SO, you’re a soldier. You gotta protect yourself.”

[@DioBrando_Sama]

XD

[@crimsonhawk4912]

Not even joking. My army friends always cary My airforce and marine buddys always fly solo and love fist fighting lmfao

[@catchthewind8563]

Especially at an Infantry unit🤣🤣

[@youtubedamaccountstopdelet2050]

@@crimsonhawk4912 "my army friends" lmfao

[@EddyBMultimedia]

Carrying a gun around in your car is pretty much a standard Army thing.

[@hazmatt3250]

The army one is so accurate. I went on camp Robinson one time for civilian business and the dude just waved me through with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on an MP. I’m used to AF dudes checking your ID, your passenger’s ID, your dog’s ID, hell, even your ID’s ID. That military culture shock is real

[@hazmatt3250]

@addisonnify fair enough

[@GearHead_Media]

Lmao I remember being stationed at JBLM and they didn’t give a shit who you brought on post as long as they have an id when it came to fort Lewis. They’d also wave entire busses full of people after only checking the driver for id. Fast forward a couple years at Davis monthan AFB. Tried to bring a family member on to use the community mechanics garage. Had to go to the visitor center, get a one day pass and had to wait an extra 30 min for a background check.

[@rkuse31]

Even an ID has an ID 😂😂😂😂

[@bogustoast22none25]

@@hazmatt3250 just little info: someone stole a tank from a nat guard base once.

[@Squashed8Ball]

Putin’s Air Force guards should have taken notes because I bet they’re now in a Siberian gulag for allowing those two Tupolev bombers to get blown up by the Ukrainians 😂😂

[@jamesgomez9151]

As an Army veteran I can confirm the Marine and Air Force depictions are very accurate.

[@M4A1BestGirl]

My uncle served in the Army National Guard. He's retired now but if his sergeant or CO caught him doing that (dancing on duty) they would have chewed his ass out for sure.

[@jamesgomez9151]

@@M4A1BestGirl I never said the Army one was accurate.🙃

[@ricardovelasco7817]

The Marine successfully tactically acquired the van. Good job devil gotta keep them on their toes.

[@sidneylara6061]

Like how the Marine one seems like it wasn't even a marine on gate guard he was just in the wild

[@Jonseyfun]

I just showed my navy buddy this comment and his reply, "Marines are always in the wild, it's quite interesting actually."

[@themosinguy6508]

“mcjrotc”

[@Goattoes11]

😂

[@stephengregory1655]

Marines are interesting creatures to study

[@death_inc777]

As one is

[@r1e234]

the army guys are so chill because they're just guarding warehouses containing thousands of ID scanners that the marines dont have

[@pixpusha]

🤣😂😅

[@ginacaranod8357]

Coming from a marine, straight facts. I gotta talk to the chow hall workers like they’re little kids and say my dodid number by number slowly 😂

[@zrunner240Z]

Hahaha

[@ryckXattack]

Haha, the Air Force guy was so goddamn spot on.

[@knightoflasvegas6895]

So basically Navy: Karens Army: Chill Air Force: NPCs Marines: Cavemen

[@samuelzuleger5134]

Think of it in terms of what they protect: Navy: Multi-billion dollar ships Army: Infantry and rifles Air Force: Multi-million dollar stealth jets Marines: Crayons

[@ej_22]

@@samuelzuleger5134 all branches have some form of aircraft

[@leobender2910]

@@ej_22 don't try to fool us, marines fly crayons

[@ej_22]

@@leobender2910 I'm not ,look up marine expeditionary force

[@dazmac159]

Ok, me thinks I join, let me think? Army🏄‍♀️🤙

[@lynetteshute9519]

The Navy one is almost accurate. After being overseas for a couple of years, I transferred to China Lake and they had implemented the stop sign. Looking for my ID card, I completely drove passed the stop sign. I stopped right beside the female gate guard. The first thing came out of her mouth, “ DIDN’T YOU SEE THE STOP SIGN? YOU DO NOT PROCEED UNTIL WE TELL YOH TO DO SO!” A year later, I was driving to San Diego from China Lake, decided to stop in Miramar to gas up my car. About 10 feet from the gate guards, I stopped waiting for the guards to wave me in. He yelled out, “ what are you doing? There’s no stop sign.” Hahahaha. He said, “yeah, Navy folks do that all the time.”

[@Slayer2000]

@@juliachehab900 Calm down now Julia

[@DukeoftheAges]

@@juliachehab900 there's no reason to get upset over nothing

[@nateman9736]

@@juliachehab900 ok female Julia. Lol

[@53strat55]

@@juliachehab900 No need to make a point out of a gender description.

[@MindYourBiznazz]

@@nateman9736 😂😂😂😂😂

[@PancakeBoi]

“The Americans recruit marines from jail houses and insane asylums, who only seek bloodlust” ~the Japanese officials during Guadalcanal 1942. Normally I thought this was exaggerated, but Now I understand what they meant

[@laisphinto6372]

given how the less talked about war was against japan pretty accurate

[@brya6270]

Just imagine it as you read. One year during my AD time, we had a break in our BISS training (tower with alarms and cameras). We were all nco s in the AF Security Forces and this was at lackland around 1990ish. Around our training building, were training areas within a fenced area with inop aircraft used to train navy marines AF in regards to security, So we re standing/sitting there outside of our building on break waiting for class to start its last leg of the day, when here comes a flight of marines dressed to impress, in step and singing. As we watch them march by smartly, we noticed coming around the bend was an AF flight. Nothing special, met the standards, marching together and par for the course. After that, a couple minutes passed.Then, coming around the bend was another flight. The flight was at least dressed but no lines, no marching, some with hats off, a couple with hands in pockets, just a gaggle. They were spread out all over the marching path and many walking on both sides of the path in the grass. It was all we could do not to burst out laughing after seeing 3 diff flights and the way they conducted themselves. Many of us turned laughing trying to keep the decorum. What’s that? Oh yeah, the last branch was the navy!! I crack up anytime I think about it. Had to be there I guess but killed us.

[@jimtheedcguy4313]

I went to lackland a lot with my grandpa growing up! He’d always stop at the commissary on our way to Audie Murphy for his treatment. Those were some good memories! He was actually stationed at Kelly back in the late 60s as his first post, then to Hickam, and that’s where my dad spent a small part of his childhood until my grandpa was honorably discharged. He got out as an E-5. Ultimately it was working with beryllium during his time in that caused many health problems later in life. He was one of the lucky ones to get full disability benefits and the VA paid for all his treatments and even a lung transplant in 2001. He ended up passing in 2007 at University in San Antonio. I miss that man every day. He was a great soldier, a proud American and a wonderful grandpa.

[@modavies8401]

I took a civilian technician into our British Army secure area in a NATO Communications Centre in Germany, circa 1968. Showed my own pass. Was asked, „what about him“? „Oh that is Jan, he is a spy, „the door buzzed and we were let in. A month later, similar situation. I said, „remember Jan the spy, well this is his boss. „The door buzzed and we were let in again.

[@sueme8170]

Oh my Lord. I was a Army Military Police 👮🏿‍♂️ for 15 years (95 B to 31 B). So accurate for the Army. Laid back dancing and chill as heck. Look at those shaving profiles accurate to a fault. 😂

[@CharlonClarke]

you could dance? nice!

[@sueme8170]

Yes and no, lol 😂

[@devonspain620]

Yes the none shave face its legit as fuck lol

[@Juju-qg8ip]

Anyone know the song? 😭

[@MADTUBE-tj9nh]

Lmao a friend of mine WAS army got caught drinking at the gate so seems pretty accurate

[@MorRobots]

The golden rule of the gate... do exactly what the guard tells you, regardless if they're an E1... I can always clear up any confusion with their commander later 😆.

[@okamiexe1501]

I just give em food. Usually nuggets. They like nuggets

[@V4ultr3mTV]

@@okamiexe1501 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MILSIM_luke_e]

E1 is in BMT, they can't guard the gate

[@MorRobots]

@@MILSIM_luke_e because a SF airmen has neeevvver lost some stripes before....😆

[@MILSIM_luke_e]

@@MorRobots Exactly, how you gonna give basically a damn civilian a beret, IOTV, weapons, a Whelen™ siren in a car, guns, taser, handcuffs, pepper spray, and a radio that goes to all of SF?

[@ThePearguru98]

The navy one is so accurate, people are either really chill or actively go out of their way to be an asshole. There are a lot of shit talkers. "You didnt see the stop sign? Whats that stop sign mean?" "It means stop" "So why didn't you stop?" 100% ACCURATE lol

[@anagram8]

Sun that was some funny ish right there. And all of your characters were very good, funny and believable.

[@thearmchairmystic]

Marine veteran here. Worked in the MP's for a bit. The Marine portion is 110% accurate. Lots of grunting and fists. We rarely wore our duty vests too and for a long time just manually checked CAC's 😂🤣 everyday we'd be hyped up for a showdown in case things popped off. And they did. 😎😎

[@ThisisFerrariKhan]

Duty vest? Wtf 🤣 nobody wears that shit outside the range in the army 😆

[@NolDee247]

Bro am laughing so hard my ribs hurt. Semper Fi Devil 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@allbymys3lf831]

Before CAC cards and just after they came out there was no scanning... you could've held up a debit card during high traffic and not even stop...

[@emmepi4945]

Do you chew crayons too? 😄

[@thearmchairmystic]

@@emmepi4945 I tear them apart like a black hole tears apart a neutron star.

[@fonkythumbs]

I'm retired navy and this had me dying. The Navy gate is so accurate.

[@mgk3319]

Don't take it too seriously.

[@mrsparkyjr]

I've had this exact thing happen to me before 😂

[@solomonmorrison6502]

took wrong turn into navy base trying to get to Coronado beach...this is accurate af

[@jimmay1988]

They acted like this in Oceana, like Kuwaiti policemen flexing their Little Big man complex.

[@TonyRome402]

Same here Shipmate! 😅

[@audeobellicus]

As someone who has been yelled at by Navy gate guards, that is completely accurate lol

[@mikemesser4326]

I was USAF. My second duty station was an Army post. I found it incredible that the MPs had no clue where the USAF were on the post. There was only one part of the base devoted to a joint command. And the USAF there was a Wing, not some tiny unit.

[@robertarnold6192]

Sounds like JBLM

[@sangbeom6245]

​@@robertarnold6192base is huge

[@REALenvizible]

As a former Marine, I found it funny that we were the only one without a device to check IDs. We had to make due without a lot of equipment that I finally realized that the other branches had. Haha.

[@Druggy-Doggo]

That’s kinda fucked up

[@viniciusmendonca2476]

Brazilian Marine here, same situation down here brother 🤣

[@frank-ko6de]

Very good inside joke.

[@yamasoe6055]

i thougt the marines had all the good shit?

[@j.dubyou]

Yup.. Semper Gumby, Brother 🤙

[@gloriousdeadman2127]

“As you can see the wild Marine doesn’t take kindly to other species encroaching on their territory and asking too many questions. This Marine in particular escaped the bustle of his platoon and became independent. Thus no battle buddy. An extremely rare sight but also a marvel of nature. After this Marine has dispatched his prey he will likely return to his platoon with a war trophy. Usually an energy drink or nicotine taken from the prey.”

[@whiteknightcat]

David Attenborough would be so proud of you.

[@feedthemindllc8852]

Why did I just read this in a British accent lol

[@jamardns77]

Lmfaoooo

[@300desmone]

LOOOOL!

[@300desmone]

Loool omg read this 3x

[@PenelopePitstop069]

My dad was stationed there during the Korean War, Company C. He was a radio operator and served with some of his brothers. Love hearing their stories.

[@danbrown-pl6tc]

As a prior service usaf security police, that Marine Corps one was accurate. One Marine got every class six in Okinawa locked down, during the G8 summit. All Marines had to stay dressed for 24 hours during the summit.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

"What kinda car is this?" "It's a mustang." Somebody on a military base not recognizing a mustang is some fantastic low-key humor here.

[@mverick5444]

Is it when one of those lowlies become officers?

[@csmith9684]

true hahah

[@johnrogan9420]

Windows don't roll down...lol

[@mafia_boss_neto]

"Mustang? A P-51 MUSTANG? YOU CALL THAT A PLANE?!" On a side note, I imagine how Coast Guard and Space Force would go. Coast Guard would do a full search, if they really are like Quora describes them. (4 Coast Guards storming into a ship and 2 more on a boat with a MG because a chief engineer accidentally flipped the flag upside down on a bad night and his engineer buddy didn't saw and 3 high ranking members called him). Space Force... What would they do? Like, just wave for you to show your card and then drive in since, what would a thug do on a SF base? Steal a space shuttle? (I'm kidding don't kill me guys.)

[@williampitt1537]

I don't get the Mustang joke, is it that every body drives a Mustang on a military base?

[@travishabursky4362]

Bro, that Marine wasn’t even security forces, he was just in the wild smoking crayons.

[@TheGerrok]

This was totally unrealistic for Marines. Everyone knows you don't eat the red ones because they give you heart burn.

[@travishabursky4362]

@@TheGerrok exactly, they’re too spicy to eat without milk.

[@viper22jc]

@@TheGerrok red ones are my favorite.

[@aft5264]

It’s not even a crayon it’s a colored pencil

[@Nico-dt5hu]

@@aft5264 AFAIK marines usually eat crayons. I guess he was low on them and hes saving them. I heard that the difference between pencils and crayons is like between ramen and instant ramen.

[@vieuxacadian9455]

Y'all crack Me up ! Much love and respects from an AF Vet .

[@actiondisplays]

OMG! That was hilarious! Love it! Never thought it to be a spoof until you were getting the Smack beat out you! Great job!

[@zayah0815]

As someone who's part of the Air Force I had to laugh at the AF one because it's so accurate.

[@chrisrohloff4375]

As someone who spent 9 years in security forces, I approve of this rendition!

[@raiderdave80]

😂 I've done my share of gate security 😂 USAF 🇺🇸

[@britishrocklovingyank3491]

100% facts

[@named161]

That was the most accurate one by far!!

[@thenaughtyamericanexpat]

Boomer Air Force veteran here, this was my first AFSC. Trust, we would've jacked them up with the quick. 🤣

[@jackstecker5796]

Reminds me of that old-ass joke. "Secure the building means; Army: Seize and protect Marines: Attack and destroy Navy: Turn off the lights and lock the door Air Force Arrange 5 year lease with option to buy 🤪🤪🤪🤪I kid, I kid.

[@deepdragon2]

no this sounds about right.....

[@MissMeina]

Navy isnt accurate enough you gotta remember all we do is drink fight and get ink lmfao

[@TheFeralBachelor]

For years I never turned off the lights, I "secured the overheads".

[@johnhoward7083]

Bestest

[@TommyTombstone]

Nobody: The Navy: 😏baby lock the door and turn the lights down lowww 🤠

[@Sephiroth0420]

Me an army vet on gate guard, “thank you sergeant have a good day, your headlight fluid is low though” “My what” “Headlight fluid sergeant” “Alright I’ll get that done” Pulls into px, goes inside for 5 min. Leaves, Starts speed walking yelling with knife hands at me, “Push!” “What’s going on sergeant” “Push, push, push” Last time I told a joke.

[@papermachevolcano1480]

The airforce with the office chair lmaoo so accurate

[@Tom-zt5ky]

Chairforce

[@GaryVelardo-rb6nw]

This was cool as hell, The resemblances are awesome & crazy funny. Thanx

[@Heavy_C]

Being an 8 year AF vet, those security forces dudes were 100% accurate 🤣… The glasses, the abuse of power, the suspicion of perfectly normal automobile configuration and behavior 🤣. Only thing missing was a field sobriety test 🤣

[@spondoolie6450]

Between this comment and the video I'm beginning to think the USAF SF dude lied to me when he said they perform cavity searches on all vehicles....

[@smokey2good88]

Bruh I just had a sobriety test last night lmao 😭😭

[@muleacrefarm1568]

We did RVI, "random vehicle inspection" at night. We had to come up with a start and stop time and a way to be fair about who we stop. Most people did every third car or something like that. I'm not most people. I did every blue sticker until I got called into the Chiefs office because of a complaint. He said to rerandomize so I started doing every car the gate guard saluted. Hey, just trying to be fair.

[@jfbjr81]

@@muleacrefarm1568 This is gold! When I was Security Forces they were called BEPC "Base Entry/Exit Point Check" they were supposedly set up by the wing commander for the gate, what times, whether it was entry or exit checks, and it specified "Every 5th car" or "Every 3rd car" or whatever. Of course, you didn't count while you were searching one.

[@SomberSF]

@@jfbjr81 RVI, IEPC, BEPC, RIEVC… theyve changed the name for no apparent reason many times over the past few years.

[@trapperscout2046]

The Army one was strangely accurate especially when some rando is guarding the post instead of an MP.

[@FireRevenant31]

I can confirm. Me and my battle did the same thing when we were assigned as acp guard for rear d, we had the day shift and things slow down in afternoon (for us) and we just do random stuff like this from dancing from a strangers' radio to reenacting characters from video games lol

[@SlugSage]

i am that rando

[@tristan_840]

@@SlugSage I'm the car

[@MrHumpah12]

This is true. Me and a battle were the randos. We just kinda shot the bull with everyone who pulled up. Would have thought we'd known each other for years

[@kennethmckinney2088]

Y'all should do one about chow halls. I was based at Marine Corp base Hawaii and it was plain Jane compared to the Air Force at Hickam. The Air Force was like a five star restaurant. Carpet, chandeliers,nice atmosphere and even a dessert carousel.

[@FleaBitten-lx4wk]

Agreed, I went to Lackland AFB for my MP Academy in the Marines, and right next door to our detachment, was the Air Force "Dining Facility". I didn't even know how to act when I went in and saw how they eat, and what they ate. Then after finishing, they told me to leave my tray on the table, and someone would take care of it. I was like wtf??? 😮

[@Streetsweeprr]

"nah nah you good bro trust, i see yo unifrom it go your name on it we cool" LMFAOOO

[@boomer6611]

I rolled into Ft.Benning about ten years after I retired for a reunion. I have Ranger Scroll on the front of my truck from my service in the Regiment. This young Specialist checks my ID, throws a salute and says "Welcome Home sir!" Made me feel warm all over and want to jump out of an airplane and blow some shit up!

[@overzone666]

You can take a soldier out of airborne, but you cant take the airborne out of a soldier. Haha

[@StrikeWyvern]

10/10 most wholesome comment

[@InvagPrune]

Name checks out o7

[@sjp35productions6]

Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane is anathema to good airmanship.

[@boomer6611]

@@sjp35productions6 Hehehehe! Yep!

[@captainsalty9022]

True story: Early 1960’s; Marine Air Station Cherry Point, blue window sticker on left windshield for officer, red for enlisted. Non uniformed Marine major with window sticker failed to stop and show his ID card at the sentry box. Marine gate guard stepped into the street as the car went by and fired his .45 into the rear window of the vehicle, striking the major in the shoulder. The Second Marine Air Wing Chief of Staff, a Colonel, awarded the Marine MP a commendation for performing his duty.

[@treynelson4946]

Oh yeah, that was a big no no. The manor knew better.

[@sunilKumar-sy9pm]

This is both funny and terrifying 🤣

[@samiam619]

@@treynelson4946 And the Major didn’t even get a Purple Heart out of it!

[@ace8656]

@@samiam619 Don’t worry they gave him fresh socks and a fresh MRE with non expired skittles so, he should be g2g

[@TUFFGUNN]

Two civilian cars got lit up by Marine MPs when I was in Quantico during 9/11. They flagged the car to stop, but they kept driving full speed through the main gate and the Marines shot up the car into the side ditches.

[@user-nz8dv9hg7l]

That shit was hilarious!😂😂😂 Especially the Army one.

[@steelekratos4834]

A year later it pops up again for me, still funny as hell. And about 90% true haha

[@JewelzFinazzo]

I grew up on a Navy base. I'm currently in the Army. And I currently work on an Air Force base. I can vouch that those three are pretty accurate haha. I won't speak on the Marines though. But it seems highly accurate lmao.

[@CharlonClarke]

I got the stop sign talk and i didnt know whether to get mad or laugh... i chose to laugh

[@The_Scarecrow51]

@@CharlonClarke Was that a good move? Just curious what happened next 😅

[@theinfamousbruce6602]

Can confirm. It’s accurate

[@RSMoreno]

Yo so similar! I’m prior USAF and my dad, retired Army and we lived on a Marine and AF base at different times throughout my pops career.

[@MartinRodriguez-oi5qq]

It’s f$&|ing accurate BRO! 🗣Fhdjdbdvsjsbdvebejsk!!!!!🍺🏃🏻‍♂️

[@breadsticat6264]

I love how the air force one is so accurate. Half the time they'll only barely glance at your ID before letting you pass, other times they'll randomly stop you acting like you bringing RPGs onto the base

[@koda293]

True 😂

[@halted_code]

i used to be a pizza delivery guy, had an airforce base in our delivery area so we all had to get base passes, i never had any issues with them, and the only time i was pulled over on base was for a tail light that was out but they only gave me a warning, nice guys all around.

[@christian_swjy]

@@halted_code mans are easy on you because they gotta have their pizza warm 🤣

[@hersh511]

Because we have to do RVIs

[@nicolelowekamp6384]

And the dude with the sunglasses just ‘chilling’ waiting for a reason

[@Dp1415]

Hysterical. And #accurate AF.

[@jeramiahhampton1875]

The Marine Corps is so accurate lmao, when you're a Marine. My girlfriend at the time didn't know how to follow directions and get her visitors pass before coming on Lejeune, and the gate guards just trusted her when she said she was there to see me and go to the ball, waved her right on through.

[@mattg188]

Like if ur gay

[@KELLEMWITIT]

🤣

[@nshaboo101]

Bahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@joeclaridy]

Mountains and depression........

[@laserkidloke2757]

Same

[@cjcopeland1128]

Lol depression for real this place slowly killing me😂😂

[@MJ_Bass]

The Air Force one is hilarious. As a civilian I got a “ticket” for my passenger not wearing a seatbelt in a 5 mph zone. Also got searched about every other day when I went in the same airbase every single day lol😂

[@TraceguyRune]

But I walk at 5mph

[@rootlady5934]

@@TraceguyRune 😅

[@Eric-os1ul]

Was in the Army you guys had the best Hummers I ever seen are hummers took beating after beating but you’re seemed built better and the af hummers well,,, didn’t see allot of them but they seamed more like the civilian version to me

[@reynaldoflores4522]

What possible business would you have going into an airbase everyday if you was a civilian ?

[@MJ_Bass]

@@reynaldoflores4522 contractor

[@bravo2-5anderson62]

Facts dude. My bois in Army are chill af

[@zacharymichaud7932]

Facts. I’ve worked on two army bases, one Navy base and one Air Force Base. Those are the facts. Good job brother.😂

[@KaBar41]

Marine Corps be like: You're the gate guard now!

[@MrTangent]

‘Here’s your MREs’ (hands box of crayons)

[@darkstarfirestudios4500]

🤣

[@arcturionblade1077]

"Look at me. Look at me. You're the gate guard now!"

[@aaronvoss38]

Good bitch, you wanna speed coming up to the gate. Call your wife and let her know you're on post next 24. I don't give a %#/% if your father in law is a Major. In fact, good, call your wife, she's on duty now too.

[@genocyber4842]

Gate guards did a random search on my vehicle one time and found my yugioh cards. The next 5 minutes was just them flaming me for having them 😭

[@genocyber4842]

@The13thRonin I told them to stop Fing around or I’ll banish them to the shadow realm but they didn’t want it 🤷‍♂️

[@MoisesZTech]

Lmao

[@blaynegreiner9365]

​@The13thRonin I bet it was Magic: The Gathering cards they collect.

[@supergenius6256]

I remember I had like two decks of cards for games like blackjack or poker, they roasted me for it and threw a deck of Pokémon cards into my vehicle, I looked at it when I got to the barracks and saw every single card in there was a fire energy card.

[@Slossage17]

1:31 “Do you want me to stop you??” Had me on the floor

[@coffeecool5190]

retired navy and now work for DoD traveling up and down the west coast this is 100% accurate across the field

[@DaveCM]

As a Marine, I fully understood every word he said. Since there were no f-bombs dropped, he was actually using polite language.

[@lenharper8502]

Marine ROTC is savage. Y’all nailed the Navy one and the AF Security Police or as you guys call them now, Security Forces is dead on.

[@KittyCatWoT]

Marine Junior ROTC.

[@RamonPalomino85]

As a former sailor the Navy gate guards were spot on.

[@jargamund]

Really? When I was in, they'd just kind of nod at you as you waived your ID at them while rolling through. Navy that is.

[@Spudmuffinz]

Navy MA's think thier judge dreadd or something every day.

[@1newearth]

The mark of the beast will be IN the right hand or IN the forehead. It is spiritual and physical. Most of the world worships the beast by keeping sunday, friday, Christmas, Easter, Eid, Diwali, etc. There is something physical coming that people will have to take if they want to buy or sell. Muslims go to the mosque on fridays. Repent. Happy new year! The new covenant will not save you if you continue being rebellious and stubborn against the word of the Lord. It is a sin to steal and a sin to forget the sabbath (saturday). *1 Samuel **15:23** KJV - For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.* Witchcraft, sorcery idolatry, witches, sorcerers, idolaters will be cast into hellfire. Only they that are washed in the blood of the Lord Jesus and keep his commandments shall be kings and priests. There is no such thing as a sunday rest or sunday sabbath in the Bible. Only the seventh day is blessed, sanctified and hallowed. Isaiah 66:22,23 says that from one new moon to another and from one sabbath to another shall all flesh worship before the Lord in the new earth. Matthew 7:21-23 proves that not everyone that says Jesus is Lord will enter the kingdom. We need to do the will of the Father which is to obey and honor our Lord Jesus Christ. He kept the sabbath, new moons and holy days while he walked the earth. Why do you keep sunday, Christmas, Easter and January 1st which he never kept? Repent.

[@kurtb8474]

I was a Security Specialist in the USAF back in the SAC days. Only I didn't work no main gate security. I was in the restricted areas. This is hilarious!

[@chilledcadaver9205]

Love ridin around wit my recruiter cause he’s super chill, and when he pull to the gate they just look at him like he’s a child then see his cat card and then they like “👀 have a good one staff sergeant” the funniest shit ever😂

[@moteroargentino7944]

He didn't stole your car, he did a re-allocation of materials and equipment 🤣🤣🤣

[@sandhilltucker]

He liberated it

[@ianfinrir8724]

He tactically aquired it.

[@juliankremer1900]

It's on permanent temp-loan.

[@danielball959]

It has wheels, a little mud on the bumper numbers and it's a Marine vehicle.

[@hazen4410]

Steal is just an acronym. Strategically Transferring Equipment to an Alternate Location. That's what they taught me when I was in the Marines.

[@ethanloming001]

I watch this with an Air Force veteran. He said it was quite relatable because the strictness of military checkpoints are most based on what they protect; weapons, vehicles, equipment, land, etc. Air Force base security never wished for anyone to infiltrate and hijack a plane or something. The same goes to the Navy.

[@seanhartnett79]

Sounds reasonable. If you are protecting something unimportant, you don’t need to put much effort into it.

[@tetraxis3011]

I mean in the 90s a guy literally walked into a National Guard base and stole a tank so yea.

[@stafforddavis5638]

You do realize that most military installations in general have more than one element stationed there? They rotate gate responsibilities amongst the branches and brigades/units/etc.. They also use private civilian contractors.

[@b.entranceperium]

​@@tetraxis3011 that changed after 911

[@Erilis000]

Now, if they steal a tank or something, no but deal

[@almightygg2369]

Bro I never seen such an accurate video in my life 😂.

[@oh-iobuckeyes9869]

As a former Air Force SP, I found this on point. Well done!

[@tomterry2139]

Ex Navy, I don't remember much about stop signs, but the drama and expectation to follow direction is spot on. Being stationed on an Air force base, I can say that part is also accurate. I remember Marine bases did away with gate guards at one point and I figured there was nothing of value there to protect.

[@fishtacos007]

They started the stop sign bullshit about 6-7 years ago. They will wait to wave you forward, hoping you'll move up so they can call you out 🤣

[@coconuthead1361]

Mostly just because who's really going to roll up to a Marine base and not expect to get their shit rocked and stolen within twenty seconds.

[@steelbear2063]

Marines are dirt poor as I hear, so yeah

[@lukasg4807]

@@fishtacos007 29 palms does the same stop sign bs. Got all mad at me and I was confused as fuck. Why the hell is a stop sign neccessary?

[@mffuniverse3806]

@@coconuthead1361 not even 20 with today’s technology, shouldn’t they have satellites and underground motion sensors by this point?

[@ak_downrange_threat7251]

The Air Force part is so accurate, I have had more issues with E-2's and E-3's on Ego trips at Air Force gates than any other branch's facilities.

[@Ducky-nm9dj]

We take our security theatre seriously.

[@ns7023]

Nukes need extra nursing

[@DaOriginalGrandPanda]

This has gotta be a stateside thing. Worst I had was some airmen complaining about my cac not reflecting my rank the day I put on staff. Which, I mean, kinda fair

[@arcturionblade1077]

Air Force base golf courses are PL1 security.

[@murphy7801]

I mean not from USA. But air force bases often have extremely high value hardware / first strike response and detection. Shouldn't they be taking there job seriously?

[@Bxred-Persxn]

I appreciate that you made the army gate guards the most chill

[@TheSilentMajorityNation]

Damn Army... I didnt know you were that chill 😎 lmao

[@gh0st556]

"Why isn't your seat belt on" had me rolling he was so serious

[@ShaneFlett]

My favorite part of the video, the marine one being second lmao

[@Looonie]

Its the Air Force dude 🤣

[@RealBSantiago]

Coast Guard: Checking your CAC for like 10min then searching your vehicle & not letting you on base at all 😂

[@jaychildz]

I’ve never heard of a coast guard base, where the hell are you guys?!

[@bobjoe4888]

@@jaychildz pretty much wherever there's water. West, east coast, great lakes, Mississippi river, etc.

[@mirroredvoid8394]

@@jaychildz Mfs are literally called the coast guard.

[@Kardia_of_Rhodes]

@@jaychildz As people have said before, if it's wet and salty you'll find them. If you're looking for something specific, Yorktown is a good place to start.

[@jaychildz]

@@Kardia_of_Rhodes I don’t think I’ll Ever need to go to one of their bases….unless there’s a sale on that Jack Daniels

[@lllllllllllIllI]

As a Gate guarded by the Army’s gate guards. I can attest that this is 100% accurate

[@scopex2749]

Yep I was Air Force and this is RIGHT ON! 😂🤣

[@joshua19717]

I'm literally on a gate guard as I'm watching this. The Army one was too accurate.

[@BattlestarGenesis]

bro go watch the gate tf?

[@Aqueox]

@@BattlestarGenesis M8 that's what we've got cameras for. Gate can watch itself.

[@BattlestarGenesis]

@@Aqueox that’s a disservice to this god blessed country. disgraceful

[@user-db1rt9mp2w]

@@BattlestarGenesis u stood watch before?

[@BattlestarGenesis]

@@user-db1rt9mp2w with that name of yours i just know you need to get back to fightin ukrainians dawg get off this app and get back to work

[@ScaredycatG]

I’m a Brit civilian and had to enter a USAF base in the U.K. (RAF Lakenheath) and those air force guys were just like they were in this video. Proper serious and checked every inch of my car!! Was slightly intimidating but in a good way!

[@baseballmichaeljordanmcdonalds]

Lmao I was there too, they were definitely spot on

[@mattchilds4149]

That’s crazy I was born there

[@velvetypotato711]

and usually have a rifle and twice the gear on

[@samuelmahoney6878]

Yeah, not security forces here, but have plenty of gate duty. We always inspect vehicles coming on with civ or contractor passes rather than cacs.

[@elanapiper6113]

Guards do more thorough search on civilians vehicles than, say a military tractor-trailer with full cargo rolls up to a commercial vehicle checkpoint. I remember having to wait few minutes for a gate open up after a civilian tractor went through. Only few seconds for us afterwards.

[@onlinewarrior4877]

Marine went south quick

[@kevo4128]

what was that song u was using for the army tho

[@kiltman1961]

(early 2000's) I was with my son (Marine) driving into an Army base for relatives boot camp graduation. My son showed his USMC ID, they told us to pull over. We had 4 MP's approach the car. Asked for his ID again. He give it to them, then......All we heard was how great the "colored" ID was. Found out later that the Army had not issued out colored ID's like the Marines had at the time. lol

[@mikecase3468]

ARMY stands Ain't Really Marine Yet

[@boz8761]

Ain't Really Marines Yet My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment Never Again Volunteer Yourself Ain't It Rad Fucking Off in Rolling Chairs Everyday?

[@soundsoftranquility2300]

@@boz8761I haven't heard the Air Force One that's pretty f****** clever, but do you have one for the Coast guard and the space force

[@MRsolidcolor]

yeah i was army. we would waste some time on some dumb shit for sure lol

[@TUFFGUNN]

I knew those crayons would come in handy.

[@Bluechief6]

The AF one is so accurate, it just needed at least two more guys in office chairs doing nothing.

[@xgensean]

Taking a break from the job to study their job*

[@skylerstokman2869]

Classic airforce, around base they work from office chairs, at sea they work from deck chairs

[@ggoohhnnjjaalltt]

Airforce aka Chairforce.

[@JGregory757]

@@ggoohhnnjjaalltt yet the Air Force is treated wayy better than all of the other branches

[@dustyatomz559]

Name of the song the army guards were dancing too?? Thank you!

[@BIGSWIV]

The marine was on point 😂😂

[@erikjahay1633]

100% though, I love how yall went out of your way to get all the cammies and even used Marine cammies without the name or proper service tapes. That may not seem like much but that's a nice show of respect to humble yourself the way you did

[@ephapax1]

Nice 👍🏽

[@Tysandifer]

If it was me I'd just wear my branch and all the others leave blank

[@gutt3R1]

I can absolutely verify the Navy portion was accurate, I used to deliver ice cream to the navy commissary in saratoga NY and it was like a game of simon-says getting in, despite ID and clearance

[@Texasmilitarydepartmentvid9654]

The Navy one is 100% accurate 😂

[@sunderwood9321]

That’s funny! I hope the branches get a good smile! 😂hope nobody rolls up like this on any of them 😁

[@2Tall03XX]

As a Marine I approve this.

[@Ghostronin72]

Devil dog af

[@Chris-mo4gk]

Ok Aquaman

[@KickinBird]

No love for you 😂

[@avianthony6149]

someone need to court martial you for approving this video lol.. Marines dont act like that.. and you know this maaaaaan..

[@jarmenovci5114]

pillager noise

[@NeniMaru]

100% accurate for the Navy 😂

[@AndrewRai1]

That’s what I was about to say 😂😂

[@_CaliDre100]

Yup I remember y’all at Rota 😂 livin your best lives! I’m still salty

[@CharlonClarke]

they take it too seriously, as if theyre getting a EP

[@visionsbydrea1450]

Facts 😂😂😂

[@Idkmanlemmeedit]

Parents ignored the stop sign when they dropped me off from my liberty fresh out of bootcamp and got the ol' bootcamp special

[@SwyTashee]

The Air Force asking to roll down the windows triggered me 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve stared deep into the eyes of too many gate guards while sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car going back on base. 👀👀Lol

[@queensherica]

😭😭🤣🤣 this was so accurate 🎉 Go Army!!!

[@HvyMetal4Ever]

As a Sailor who was stationed on a Marine base, and would have to head to other bases - I can confirm this shit is 100% accurate. Marines out there preparing to be Wal-Mart greeters.

[@HvyMetal4Ever]

@@USMC_Matt0351 First of all - get the fuck off your high horse. Former Marine? Interesting. Because according to my Uncle, various cousins, and colleagues who served in the USMC, there is no such thing as a former Marine. Secondly - I was station in HI. I did aircraft maintenance. Work was one side of the island, and deployed out of another part of the island. When I was off on the weekend, I would head over to hang out with buddies at the Army base. Don't come in here touting off some bullshit resume trying to impress people.

[@drpompo]

@@USMC_Matt0351 damn homie that's a lot of credentials for working at walmart

[@drpompo]

@@USMC_Matt0351 it's a joke big guy, I'm not reading that wall of text but I'll assume it was whiney and pathetic

[@altattano559]

@@USMC_Matt0351 I was thinking "this is one of the most well accomplished men in todays society, he has to be lying". did a small lookup and found this guys LinkedIn. these have to be the most credentials ive ever seen in my lifetime, give this dude an award. I don't know what type of award, when, or how. just give the man one for christs sake. thank you for your service! - random 15 year old from NYC that likes the military

[@basilgaizka4672]

@@USMC_Matt0351 Dog made a joke, and you just assumed he's jealous. That's some ego shit. You've accomplished a lot, and that's cool, but too much pride will just come off as cringe. Listing your credentials is more of a call to authority, rather than an actual argument. At the end of the day he made a joke, and relayed an anecdote about the accuracy of the comedic video. You replying with all that shit just makes you come off as hurt. Now I'm not sure if some comments got deleted or something, or what it is I'm missing but where did this come from? "I also said cute cats but I’m more of a dog person. Do most Canadian men obsess over cats the way you do? You’re like the Canadian version of an American crazy cat lady. I do like old cars though." P.S. before you ask, I don't have any credentials. Also it was kinda cool reading about all the shit you are involved in. Edit: Oh my gosh you googled his fucking name hahahahahahhahah. Idk if that's really him but that's funny. I hope you didn't say that shit to try to intimidate him, because if so, that's some weak shit fr. Over some youtube comments man? smh. I can't pretend like I was never guilty of similar things, but I realized that shit was silly and grew out of it.

[@marcussmith4673]

As a 8yr Navy Desert Storm Vet I approve this skit. 😂😂😂

[@user-fh4le1pn8o]

Desert Navy😉😂 😎👍

[@davidzealley2332]

Wow I didn’t realize it took the Navy 8 years to complete desert storm… jk

[@bamboozledelia8079]

You were on Desert Storm? Thank you

[@marcussmith4673]

@@davidzealley2332 I served 8yrs in the Navy genius. 🤣🤣🤣

[@SmokeDog1871]

Every else left after the war but this dude just stayed

[@avg6236]

Enclave: YOU'RE OUT OF UNIFORM SOLDIER, WHERE IS YOUR POWER ARMOUR!!!?!??

[@fatrick5004]

From the UK....that sums up our lot too. Excellent