How glowing up ruined my life

[@aliviadandrea]

• Subscribe for the dating diaries!! • instagram: @aliviadandrea • our glow up discord community: discord.gg/HvCfRBGKAN • GOODBYE GLOW UP DIARIES. THIS MARKS THE END OF AN ERA. I HAVE HEALED AND IM CLOSING THIS CHAPTER OF MY LIFE. ❤Grateful for the growth and support!❤ *SIDE NOTE: just to be clear - being a social media creator was NOT the main reason for my issues.

[@kamalkhadtare7067]

ur so amazing 😊😊😊

[@Happy_swimming]

Alivia, never knew you were going through this... I was always inspired by you.. Know that we love you no matter what.

[@kamilahismail5953]

I’m interested in the final Q&A sharingggggg

[@Kbenhamu]

Yayy!! You’re finally back!! I’d love a Q and A if it won’t be triggering or hard for you ❤

[@nandini6578]

you go girl!!! we love you no mtter what..

[@marshaesmith]

I've never wanted to hug a stranger more in my entire life...

[@rmmr1168]

Completely

[@Moonbeamsoulstar]

While tears are pouring down my face I am thinking the same thing ❤

[@therapyenjoyer]

Me too. It’s insane how cruel and thoughtless people can be and how much of an impact that can have on someone’s life. I wish people had been kinder to her and I’m glad this comment section is nice

[@Harai2Momo]

@@therapyenjoyerNo literally! It definitely hurts even being a fan of her for so long and seeing how mean everyone was!

[@8kat]

Same here tho I literally said in my living room I wish I was there to hug her

[@danielagiraldo9034]

''Only my skinny self deserves to have pretty clothes'' that hit me so hard

[@Kimbleeyy]

Damn, same

[@carolynshiloh]

That’s how I used to think, it’s sad to look back and remember how low one’s confidence/self esteem was

[@Mozzarella-and-Tomato]

*metaphysically reaching back in time and giving my younger self a hug*😭

[@alexafire8171]

Same...also restricting myself from activities because I believe I'm not pretty enough for them. 🥹

[@lislainy1553]

Jesus loves you ❤

[@MYuee]

"Your happiness does not have to make sense to other people." This is such a good quote. I love it.

[@blwlmnswg]

on point ☑️

[@MaliUrum]

facts, i'm gonna remember this one

[@Shaishai-v7t]

Facts

[@sirsnek6562]

Taliban:

[@TheLily97232]

I hate quotes usually but this one is one Ill carry with myself

[@gruta09]

The fact that other people in the fitness industry made videos about her like she wasn't going to see them broke my heart

[@secretsecret1105]

Ong like we just humans bra

[@82kmd]

Screw all the A**holes in life period if you're going to purposely F*** someone's day up. It doesn't make you more popular or powerful. It makes you a D**k. Grow up, mother F'rs. All I wish on you is the same exact thing. Then you'll truly understand firsthand. Alicia DeAndre. You're gorgeous with or without makeup and any weight for that matter. Your personality is GOLD. We all hate things about ourselves. Unfortunately, the world today feels like it has every right to tear others down. The most attractive thing is personality by far. You have literally more going for you then any POS who makes you think otherwise. I'm proud of you. ❤ You F'ng GOT THIS!!!😊

[@sunshinespike]

the moment you said "ok try to say something nice to yourself" with you being suddenly silent was so heartbreaking. It makes me cry a lot

[@missrockets777]

❤❤❤❤

[@Bianca-xw3pp]

I felt it in my soul.

[@Jesuslovesyou0316]

God loves you so! John 3:16✝️

[@Jesuslovesyou0316]

@@Bianca-xw3pp God loves you so! John 3:16✝️

[@amiraKae]

same

[@GreenAndTheToe]

This is the true “glow up”. Loving yourself.

[@_nob0dy_297]

Fr ❤

[@blxnked_out]

THIS!

[@u.802]

yes yes yes 💘

[@MarieArndt-b7o]

Exactly - most people’s „glow ups“ are just GROW UPS. THIS is working on yourself facing your insecurities trying and trying perseverance 🙌🏻

[@reneenunez4627]

I pray you find Jesus! Delete social media! You are perfect the way you are! The world will dare you apart! Come to the Father our Lord Jesus Christ will help you find that inner peace!!

[@weronika4579]

As a 16 year old girl, I want to say thank you. This video truly opened my eyes on struggles that people are going through and it's a reminder to always be kind and loving. Of course everybody struggles with things differently, but we really need to be there for each other and not only support unconditionally, but show empathy and be understanding. This is such an important documentary and thank you again for being courageous, posting it and sharing a strong message. 💛

[@yesic7196]

I wish my family could hear you say this. You're right. Thank you also 💛

[@YasAdele90]

What a well rounded rational and polite response for a 16 yo. Nice One ❤

[@veraw.9044]

I read this quote today: "you can't hate yourself into a person you love". I really hope you can be less hard on yourself. Life is hard enough, we don't need to be so hard on ourselves as well.

[@jellybeanchloe6953]

it’s the fact that you really did document your entire “glow up” journey and didn’t even realize it. you documented girlhood, and how it feels to come to terms with who you are and how you deserve to be treated. this was so empowering. alivia, we were girls together. and now? we are women. ❤

[@graceosullivan1367]

The sweetest comment ❤ I love this. I'm 23 and feel similarly.

[@hearts4melisa]

this comment made me tear up as I first watched her stuff when I was 12, and now I'm almost 18. Wow

[@jbkawaiiholic]

That comment made me cry too❤ indeed, we were girls and now we’re women. I had an experience not long ago that made me realize it. I did a old school « pyjama/sleepover party » with my friends and while we did crafty girly things, we also talked about deeper subjects and depression, body image, health issues (that might also be my group of friends but we all either dealed with hormonal issues like pcos, pmdd, thyroid issues, or mental health problems like anxiety, depression, etc, and were all kind of trying to accept it and figure out how to heal and deal with it). It was kind of liberating to talk about theses things so freely and experience that we weren’t alone in our struggles. We were kind of all trying to heal from stuff, love and accept ourselves. It felt literally that way: we used to be girls and now we were women and were all supporting each other and dealing with our bodies and lives changing and the transition into being « true » adults.

[@HiFiveSive]

Such a beautiful comment, cryingggg😭❤

[@kunaihanaki]

what a beautiful comment

[@oliviajayward]

when she said her auntie always said “once she lost weight, she’s going to look so gorgeous’ hits so much because all through my teenage years , people have said that to me.

[@justinmasefield]

it's so hurtful hey. My mum likes to tell me that once I loose weight I will be so handsome that everyone will want to hang with me. Words hurt so much. I hope you are doing okay

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

I’m so sorry to both of you. You’re beautiful and worthy of love no matter what. ❤

[@Ireenne]

I think that in general people look better when they are in a healthy weight. Even if hurts, to hear it, it is real. That doesn't mean that your body have to be in a "perfect" shape. Just, try to be healthier. Sleep better, drink water, don't wear clothes that make you feel frumpy, do some exercise (doesn't have to be extreme) and most importantly, wear clothes that fit you, no matter your size.

[@oliviajayward]

@@Ireenne that’s so true, as I’ve got older I’ve learnt to dress myself and try and keep myself healthier and my appearance has made me feel confident in myself. I’ve learnt the hardest way to accept myself (especially how I’m autistic as well) and I’m able to give myself breaks when I need it.

[@denisebacher5040]

@@rebeccablankenship4710 I agree so very much! Olivia and Justin are beautiful, and worthy of love, just as they are! And is too bad that the people in their lives that are supposed to love and accept them for who they are have not. I went through that my whole Life until I turned 53. That’s how long it took my mother to compliment me. And even it was because she was sort of pushed into it by her current husband. I NEVER measured up in her eyes. And that is why, with my daughters, and even my stepchildren, I praise them nearly for everything. I told them how beautiful or handsome they are no matter what weight they’re at, I tell them how very smart and intelligent I think they are and I applaud their achievements at everything they do. Because everybody deserves to have cheerleaders on the side, cheering them on to greatness. Even if it’s that greatness is just achieving what they consider their best. Because their best is not everybody else’s version of best.

[@louisezhao662]

Love that your “physical glow up” wasn’t the end of it. Your true glow up came from learning to love and accept yourself and fulfill your self worth from the inside. Not any superficial goals that came from insecurity. This was the perfect ending to a raw and heartfelt journey.

[@NanoB1802]

🔥

[@origamiempress6774]

🔥🔥🔥

[@southlightsbare]

самооценки не бывает

[@Ninialzh]

The end of the video she looks so happy and glowing literally I really hope people realize just how serious this is ❤

[@gangstaberry2496]

This is the first mature comment I have seen!! When you learn to accept yourself, you are truly strong ❤

[@ThanhTrúcTrịnh-m9u]

My first impression is that you're such a great storyteller. I admire your courage to share such vulnerability in such a beautiful and impactful way. You've come so far in this journey and it is very inspiring to me! You are brave, you are deep, you are thoughtful and very articulate. You're here to empower so many souls out there! I'm so proud of you and I hope you find peace and happiness in everything you do.

[@leenbee17]

I hate how much our messed-up culture hurt this young woman so deeply. I'm so glad she has learned to love herself. 😢 What a strong woman.

[@Cindy.LoveBug]

I know, it's actually so sad to see how these extreme beauty standards are affecting us so greatly to the point where her whole life is just revolving around her losing weight. Shes obviously not skinny, but she's barely even fat, it's not she's obese and having medial complications.

[@rozettaify]

They ruined our life as women ..all those movies and fashion fakeness. I feel sorry for me and other women too

[@neethi768]

I know right. I felt so sad that such a nice girl with such a great future ahead of her cried so much. I wish I could tell her how loved she is even if she can't see it.

[@innerworker]

It’s not the culture. Childhood trauma and lack of knowledge. It’s a mind game!

[@Allie-w1l]

I sort of agree, but we are a PART of that culture by allowing it to advise us to accept, what most people must instinctively know are, shallow ideals. Teaching kids to think logically, and for themselves, will go a long way to eliminating that disease in our culture.

[@chloepullen4512]

It’s so hard to watch such a beautiful girl cry because she doesn’t feel beautiful

[@piadurcissangwa8354]

Rightttttttttt

[@Fisches]

This!

[@rez6818]

I got tears because she can’t see her beauty but I don’t blame her. Beauty standards are hard to reach

[@jiyabidwe]

I know right. The whole while I was like "are u crazy you are so beautiful" while exactly knowing how she felt

[@charlottenobody20]

Exactly this 😢

[@BobbieBouma-Camplejohn]

Girl this was a beautiful, raw, honest deep dive into depression, eating disorders and wanting people to accept you. I can’t overstate how validated I feel watching this. Thank you

[@samanthamakhafola3014]

Same

[@222hello]

Right? Like she was actually pretty and she's still pretty but also her personality

[@DebiCakes95]

I felt like I was watching a video about me

[@Harai2Momo]

@@DebiCakes95 LITERALLY! Especially the first part where she couldn’t say anything nice to herself and another part when she said once she wasn’t her ideal self it would trigger these negative thoughts and she would shame herself.

[@thefryinator7774]

​@@Harai2Momo this was me during post partum depression. I thought I was just the worst mom ever(tbh,I'm kinda the best for real, like no one gets as excited about the smallest baby milestones as I did) and I didn't deserve my perfect daughter and she'd be better off with someone else as her mother. Now, I'm so glad that I'm okay and love myself and can be an even better mom to my little girl.

[@mrsgbookb]

You’re an angel. This video meant so much to me. I’m almost 40, and I’m finally feeling okay about who I am. I wish I’d had something like this 20 years ago…Proud of you.

[@norak8080]

this online community is/was so incredibly toxic. how bizarre that they made you feel like you let them down for not achieving certain goals in a certain time. there was never a problem with the way you looked, people just have fun making spectacles out of others' lives. It's so good to see that you're in a much better place and I truly hope that you find peace and happiness!

[@Maidensociety]

Exactly

[@hadnoideahow]

I have to notice that the community is all US people. Not saying that unrealistic beauty standards don't exist everywhere, but the US takes it to a whole other level.

[@sLAyZY760]

also prolly projecting. sadge

[@amylouise3044]

You ever heard of South Korea? 🤣🤣🤣 They literally gift _teenagers _*_plastic surgery (most common one being double eyelid surgery​)_* for their sweet sixteen. The US isn't the best but GOD south-east asia takes it to a wholeeee another level. @@hadnoideahow

[@missbimbeaux]

@@hadnoideahow and ur 100% RIGHT, i havent experienced it in other countries

[@clem3645]

“Your happiness does not have to make sense to other people.” Such an incredible mindset. The truth.

[@Joyce-uw3rv]

I AGREE 💯! ❤❤❤

[@pinkapoppy]

what hurts the most is that you were always beautiful. the issue is confidence and people telling the internet that the only way to be happy is have a perfect figure and face and hair is so harmful

[@olinafan4459]

a beautiful soul is all that matters

[@joy-uk9qd]

exactlyyy

[@doodleramen9461]

literally I always thought she was so beautiful

[@pateksky1890]

But I also feel like beauty is the very thing that we as a society are too attached to. I feel like it's not about whether we were always beautiful or not simply because beauty is subjective and humans change. Our worth and confidence is just attached to beauty.

[@doodleramen9461]

​@@pateksky1890 I 100% agree. This is rlly well put 💗

[@staceyyekyunyi]

i originally searched up the glow up diaries to find some inspiration for my own glowup journey but instead stumbled upon this video,im really grateful u published this because i always had the mindset of oh maybe if i become prettier ill be happier or i want to be pretty such that ill never have to think twice before posting pictures,i even wanted to change up my skintone with pills and bleaching scrubs just cause i didnt "look good" in white dresses.but this video really changed up my perspective of how i saw myself and other people,ik this was published long ago but i just wanna say thanks alot for sharing your journey as difficult as it was.

[@jasminealexia]

Yes me too! There really can be a dark side in trying to do all this glow up. Very interesting perspective now after watching this

[@BlackAbsynthe]

This broke my heart. I did not know about your glow up diaries, I found this video by accident, but the footage of you crying in your car hit too close to home. I just wanted to hug your past self and tell you that everything is going to be ok, and then realized that maybe I wanted to say it to my past self as well. You look so happy in the most recent footage, and I hope everything turns out great for you. Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable self with us

[@lilyy.717]

You're so truee we never hug our inner child n just run forward to chase external validation

[@wiserwad]

😂q

[@lilyg4126]

I feel like part of the reason she was so hard on herself was the constant documenting and self reflection to the point of obsession. But I’m grateful some of it is documenting some things that so many people struggle with. Thank you for sharing your story, it made me feel less alone.

[@mitalishinde6890]

Yeah you explained it well.

[@chloevaillant9430]

I think no one can handle so much feed back, good or bad it's unhealthy to be judge by so many people we don't even know.

[@sowhat1674]

​@chloevaillant9430 tbh, she should've kept her journey private if she wasn't mentally prepared for trolls on the Internet to tear her apart.

[@chloevaillant9430]

​@@sowhat1674 Putting ourselves on the internet can't be a justification for online bullying. With that kind of reasonning you can make anyone guilty and deserving of any bad thing that happened to them. "Got into a car accident ? You should have know better and walk !"

[@rain_reverb]

Same this side I suddenly lost weight without effort and it felt bad when I gain weight it feels bad It's all because of wanting to have an hour glass figure .. And glass skin like Korean And hair like them too It all feel worse I was once so uncomfortable with my skin body hair and light eye brows snd my big forehead Now I'm different much comfortable but still there are days when I wish I could go out without using brow pensil and hijab protects my forehead insecurity but now I'm doing better alhamdulillah it's all because of the beauty standard of social media and girls and guys becoming judgemental

[@Hana-cc7wu]

“It was easy to be kind to myself when i was my ideal standard but as soon as i wasn’t, it would trigger these negative thoughts and i’d start shame myself” This hits hard

[@StonesVoulaguealiyaini]

True

[@celicaledesma]

As a 28 year old who struggles with depression and body dysmorphia thank you so much for sharing your journey. You are so resilient and wise and I’m so glad you were able to come to a conclusion that serves you. Continue to prioritize yourself and remember to still show yourself love and grace. You deserves it.

[@SophiaP31]

This proves that social media’s definition of “glowing up” is just making you feel worse about yourself. Beauty standards and lifestyle trends can be so disgusting and really impact people’s lives. Alivia I am so proud of you that you’ve overcome this. Keep on going girl. ❤️

[@anniea1234]

that is so true honestly to the point now that it’s sad

[@skrtskrt22]

such a minor detail, but leaving in usernames was 10/10.

[@hey_wolf]

Fr

[@KittyCat260]

Name 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 shame 👏🏻

[@lislainy1553]

Jesus loves youu ❤

[@lislainy1553]

@@hey_wolfJesus loves you 💞😊🫶🏽

[@lislainy1553]

@@KittyCat260Jesus loves youu ❤

[@darienodette]

It takes real guts to be this transparent and vulnerable on the internet. The fact that you even made this video is a testament to how brave and resilient you truly are. Give yourself credit where its due and be proud of yourself. You've earned it ♥️

[@reiarei]

I hope those giving the negative comments especially those in the fitness space see this and see what diet culture does to us all.

[@nexenzy5825]

RARITY PFP

[@purplechickaboo_89angela12]

Your so strong because this is how I feel and it's important to share, your worthy regardless of what others say.

[@ritaree123]

❤

[@lunax772]

i’m really glad you’ve made a video on this. i feel like a lot of people don’t talk about the internal work that comes with trying to “improve” when that should be the first thing to tackle. when i was first losing weight, i was feeding off the validation rather than how i was actually feeling about myself. once i changed my motivation to myself and feeling satisfied with myself, everything felt less morbid and stressful and more realistic. when i gain weight, it doesn’t feel like the end of the world anymore, it just felt natural and nothing too serious. my worth doesn’t change. once i got there, i realized i felt better than when i was way “skinnier”. thank you for this

[@joannaingold6979]

life isn't about glowing up, it's about growing up. you are growing and learning and becoming so much better and so much more than just a number on a scale. dude so inspiring that you posted this video and that you are willing to be vulnerable with yourself online, when you know that people can be so mean here. i'm really grateful for this video.

[@alipadevi5101]

Me too

[@esterkowalczyk6121]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@FatemeLife]

life isn't about glowing up, it's about growing up, wow

[@iamawesomeprods]

I agree! I personally “glowed up” because I grew up, I am unrecognizable to the people who used to know me because I changed my mindset about myself and now radiate confidence, it’s so much more than how you look.

[@lowkeymichii]

same@@iamawesomeprods

[@thatsdope9571]

It's so crazy how much she's actually glowing now that she loves herself. It's like a total different person. This is so astonishing to see

[@linxlatham47]

truly

[@luhole]

It’s nuts. I was going to say the same - actually glowing with the self acceptance and happiness.

[@VidasG]

True... And her actual glow-up is visible in so many ways. She's smiling, she has that fire in her eyes, the words she speaks are so much wiser, she seems so much more fun to be around. And even her physical appearance: you can see that she allows herself to be pretty, to wear nice clothes, to experiment with makeup. I know the focus shouldn't be on the outside, but the difference is so huge it's hard to ignore. It seems as if she was punishing herself on purpose when she thought she was not enough (she didn't let herself wear nice clothes or hairstyles, she didn't post photos, didn't go out, when she clearly wanted to). I know the focus of this video is not the external appearance, but I think it's an important note to take for everyone who worries about it. What makes you externally beautiful is how you treat yourself, how you express yourself, it's wearing clothes you want to wear, posting photos you want to post, and generally doing what you want and not limiting yourself because you're not "perfect". If hoodies and messy buns make you feel free and comfortable, you are going to look much more beautiful in them than in fancy clothes that make you feel restrained and fake. If hoodies and messy buns make you feel icky and you prefer doing glam makeup and wearing dresses every day, then allow yourself to do just that. No matter how your skin or body looks, invest in your happiness and the external beauty will follow.

[@pwetty4r4]

The failures are the best and most authentic part of this series, so I hate that people made you feel bad for not "taking too long". That's literally life

[@grace_jones]

Facts

[@LowSlungBadBitch]

Fr !!

[@luiiiandmovieee]

It's so dumb when ppl say it takes too long. They treat her journey like a book / movie / anything to buy. They forget it's her real life. It's such a toxic mindset to think change would happen fast and then everything is great all the time. That's only how it works in stories.

[@TheBaumcm]

Change is hard and happens at varying rates. It is part of the negative aspect of announcing a desired change. Life is a journey with no schedule and no final destination, unless you know, the point at which you are no longer above ground. It’s all a journey and no one should be judged for how long it takes.

[@tahinaschwegler8112]

I feel like those comments were probably people projecting. People that hadn’t even accomplished it themselves

[@Blondie_22]

I’m so glad the algorithm brought me here. I don’t know you, I’ve never seen any video of you before now. But thank you for making this and putting it out there. I’ve dealt with some of these feelings and I’m still trying to trying to pull myself out of it. Every day I try to make things better than the last. You made me feel less alone, thank you ❤️ And also, every single version of you in all these clips, you are truly beautiful ❤️

[@rosemarrrryyyy]

just a reminder that we need to be kinder with the things we say ! you truly never know what people are going through.

[@taraleanne]

so true!!

[@elsybabe5558]

Thiss. Most people don't realize how words can hurt

[@Sumoni__Puri]

True

[@mallarielove]

absolutely. i was bullied horribly for my symptoms and illness and how it made me look when i had a 12 inch tumour in my stomach. they all made fun of me for being “lazy” (tired and in pain) and fat. all while i had cancer growing inside of me.

[@BuzziMuzzi]

Damn girl, this may be one of the most important content to see for our generation. Our obsession with “succes” and “perfection” and “escaping the matrix” has lead to us not being able to tell illusion for reality anymore; forgetting to live in the PRESENT. To me that was the biggest change I saw in you throughout this video. It pained me to see a girl who was so tormented about the imaginary "what should be" of the future while also restrained in shackles by the perceived failure of your past. You didn't seem alive, just coping. Then, you became a person who was present, alive, grateful, and accordingly, your existence excudes positivity; the kind of energy that truly inspires people, that draws people to you. In the end, the present is all we have and accepting ourself today to then grow from healthy motivation of LOVE, for ourselves and our surroundings, instead of fear and pain is the biggest favor we can do for our future self. And it's also the biggest F** you to a world trying to profit of our insecurities and fear. Thank you SO much for being so raw and filling this journey, your story telling and editing is incredible. You have a special talent and your mission in this world is to share your view on this world. Thank you!

[@meikusakabe4167]

no it's not

[@gwgwgwgwgwgw121]

@@meikusakabe4167 you feel better now?

[@jjswigger8591]

ur generation is a fuckin mess and will never be normal lmao

[@jjswigger8591]

shes literallt a product of dogshit from social media, she should be telling you how to be different not more like this dogshit persona

[@CouchPotatoCrusader]

So true. I needed to hear this now more than anything

[@nmb7902]

her journey is literally every woman's life.. this is how much insecurity we carry, I have had the same thoughts as her constantly even if we try to deny it Deep down we have felt the same thing as her. andddd there is absolutely NOTHING NOTHING wrong with this beautiful woman

[@pwetty4r4]

Not all women....but I get your point

[@kateosborn9904]

I thought it was just me who carries these insecurities on a daily. The uncontrollable amount of negative thoughts that can consume my brain.... I am at a point to where I believe that this is 'not normal' or 'no longer okay with me.' You are exactly right with 'her journey is literally every woman's life.' ..... I had no idea. Again, I thought it was just me.

[@rdsunshine34741]

It's so sad because her body looked fine at every stage but I remember thinking the exact same things as her when I was these ages. And now I look back at the photos and I was beautiful. It was all in my head. And I was a teenager when Facebook first came out so we can't blame social media, it's our society as a whole that's to blame.

[@ThisIsGoogle]

What does losing weight have to with being a woman?

[@eternitysafro1083]

@@pwetty4r4Even if it isn’t being super critical about your physical, it can go into mental health issues & you being hard on yourself on other things. So, I agree yes every woman’s life-especially young women in their day & age with social media. Also boys & men too, but us as women & girls have special problems. Idk why we act as though because we never went through exactly what others go through or not that bad-that you aren’t in that circle. Everyone hits rock bottom, one way or another.

[@kamariag_]

I started watching your videos during the quarantine. I was also caught up in the same toxic beliefs that my current self did not deserve love or appreciation, I was stuck in this never ending misery of intense workout routines, diets, unhealthy skin care, and self hatred. I was deep in a pit of my own negative thoughts without even realizing it. About two years ago I too had a similar awakening, and ever since I've never been better. Learning to love myself and appreciate who I am despite any external factors has been life changing and I'm so happy you've been able to do that same and document your journey. I have also started a youtube channel and I hope to inspire others in a way that you have also inspired millions. Wishing you nothing but the best :)

[@Imblesid]

Sobbing my eyes out. "I don't wanna waste money on myself as I am right now. I'll wait until I'm smaller." That really hit so close to home. This video helped me so much. ❤ Thank you.

[@isabellapenoth7661]

Omg yes!!!

[@celedhion]

For me, I would buy clothes that are a couple sizes too small just to force myself into motivation. I would say stuff like "If I restrict and exercise enough, I'll fit into these in a couple months." I could have bought myself something nice in my size, but I bought clothes as a punishment instead.

[@samarias100]

same that´s exactly how i feel rn

[@juiccyonion8484]

That was really eye-opening. I have been thinking that way and I didn't even realize how hurtful that sounds. Like, I deserve nice clothes and nice things no matter how I look, I don't have to wait until I'm "perfect" (that day will never come)

[@hattyhide7544]

This was such an amazing insight! It spoke to me in a way I didn’t know I needed.

[@notabean2274]

the part of this that is so bizarre to me is that throughout this entire journey you were always beautiful. the genuine hatred you had for yourself is so unreal to me because i don’t understand how someone this beautiful inside and out could see themselves as anything less than perfect. so proud of you girl, this is so raw and special. a true authentic masterpiece.

[@beckykaminsky4304]

Agreed!

[@KateLisgar]

Yesssss 🎉 She is a major babe!

[@amandarachelle9234]

So so so this ❤

[@Chloe__________xx]

Exactly and the bravery of putting it all online for us to connect is more than most people do. Being relatable in struggles most of us face is the true content we connect to.

[@moonlightauras1]

The thing you eventually learn when you're on the other side of an experience like this is that it was never you. It was never about how you looked or about how you thought you looked, it's about the way society values and upholds certain aesthetics that most people can't live up to. And in striving for those aesthetics we end up losing who we truly are and are not able to see ourselves as beautiful and lovable.

[@Ashleigh-w9v]

I'll say something nice about you because when you went silent it broke my heart. 1. You are making a difference 2. You are not fake. 3. You are loved by almost 2.5 million people because you are yourself, you are relatable and you are beautiful, inside and out.

[@justtee1259]

i liked this comment so much ❤ thank you Ashleigh i think kindness is so important we don't know what anyone is dealing with

[@lightsonme21]

I was thinking about making a channel but talked myself out of it…this comment makes me rethink.

[@missimperfect9279]

Go do it!!!! 🎉 ​@@lightsonme21

[@GiraffeEmz.-.]

I feel like I just went on that journey with you. It’s a little hard to explain, but this hit something so closely to me. The emotion in this is so real and I absolutely love how much of myself I was able to see in this and because of you I have so much more hope for my future. Thank you for posting this, it’s really showed me what i’m missing and what I should really be striving to achieve to be happier within myself.

[@imadetheurllonger]

This was the best possible ending. Literally in the middle of watching this i thought to myself: "she loves herself conditionally, she needs to learn how to love herself UNCONDITIONALLY (which is way easier said than done!!) BUT THEN YOU DID IT most satisfying real- life arc I've seen recently. Wow.

[@plutonis6562]

I think this is the first time I've ever seen someone on KZbin actually share that rawness and that reality of self-loathing. The bit where you were struggling to think of something nice to say about yourself hit hard. I'm so glad you've found a place of self-acceptance and I hope that you keep it forever.

[@Faithivations]

God loves you! Repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! He can give you so much love, joy and peace!💕

[@jesusistheanswer6003]

Amen, I struggle but it helps when I remember that this won't even matter in the future.

[@plutonis6562]

@@jesusistheanswer6003 Yup. The things that seem so huge to us are, in retrospect, maybe not as dramatic as we perceive them to be. The road to self-acceptance can be a long one, but rewarding. :)

[@aku26]

Best glow up series I've ever seen. The physical attractiveness of weight changes, hair styles etc works great in a video format because it's so easily seen with the naked eye, and that's what social media has come to expect from "glow ups". But Alivia did a SOUL glow-up. It wasn't her body that was too heavy, it was her own spirit. Absolutely wonderful journey and thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and personal story.

[@parisblythe9590]

Hi, I cried watching this video. I'm currently in the state of my life where everything is falling apart and KZbin recommended you on my page when I wasn't even searching for recommendations. I cried because we are so different yet so similar, I can see through your eyes myself from my different years as well. I've been struggling with acne for almost 6 years now and sometimes I can't look at myself and feel happy with how I look anymore. Thank you for sharing your journey, I can't help but feel your sadness and frustrations through this video. I'm hoping for our success in lives and also genuine happiness for ourselves. You inspire me.

[@marnmalue9135]

"Your happiness doesn't have to make sense to other people" is something I needed to hear for so long 😭 I can't recall how many times I tore myself down and stopped doing things that I loved because other people couldn't understand it. The true glow-up is healing, and I hope one day I get to feel the same self-love and happiness that you have now. It feels so hard to imagine a world where I could love myself, but I know I've loved myself before, so it's possible. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being vulnerable. It's hard and you're incredibly strong for sharing this with the world. Please know that you've found something truly beautiful!

[@Riyasingh-epic]

you're beautiful mah girllll... I'm happy to know that you're gonna be changed for yourself and your inner self which is really amazing...love you and a big huggggggggggiessssss for you. please always stay happy no matter what...and accept yourself just the way you're. I want you to love yourself and accept yourself and always be happy and greatful for whatever you have

[@desideriadreams5180]

❤️❤️❤️

[@lo_ttie]

You will certainly get there 🤍🤍🤍

[@chelleaina-xlr]

I was so hesitant to call the true glow up healing; healing is so much moreee than that omg it’s a deep treatment that oozes out so much beauty, love, contentment and peace that the shallow “glow up” term can’t even compare truly wish it for everyone that went through glow up culture

[@namaihelbirem]

It's so concerning how some people feel so comfortable about putting others down like that. I really hope those people who left those comments are thinking long and hard about what they said and how they made a complete stranger feel. Anyways, so good to see you are now realising your worth. Left me smiling by the end of the video!

[@Harai2Momo]

No literally and it’s even more upsetting because usually that means it’s a past trauma they’ve experienced.

[@Judith-t6k3j]

It’s the open wounds within that give free entrance to these mean remarks. It’s like cursing: has more effects when someone is already wounded. The logic behind it does not justify it. However choosing presence on social media does put you under a maginfier. Therefore It is quite a feat to overcome your inner wounds in the public eye. It’s a spiritual battle She won this in the end❤

[@allie4477]

For the last few weeks, the only type of media and “entertainment” I’ve consumed was how to glow up. I just started Zepbound to lose weight, I bought a self tanner, I started a calorie deficit diet, I bought teeth whitening strips, I cut my hair. And then I stumbled upon your video. And it really put things into perspective for me as to why I feel like I need to change myself so much. I related to so many things in this video and the biggest thing I’m taking away is to work on self love as the primary goal and let the rest follow. I’m so proud of you. You’re so incredibly strong and inspiring. Thank you❤

[@ASMRNathy]

Same… 😢

[@Fem.elegance]

I’m actually shocked on how ppl write things on the internet not thinking that they are bullying😢 it’s like nobody ever learnt that old saying if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all. This video was so inspirational, u are so incredibly strong and it shows here. Your a beautiful person inside and out at no matter what weight 😊 lets all take care of our health and wellbeing mentally and the physical will follow ❤

[@youratwinklingstar5644]

Praise Yeshua! Thank you for sharing this, I hope I work on it more. Everyone has felt this way in one way or another, we can grow and learn together

[@WandasWorld]

wow

[@Faithivations]

God loves you! Repent and believe that Jesus paid the price for our sins! He can give you so much love, joy and peace!💕

[@youratwinklingstar5644]

@@Faithivations I am a believer of Yeshua HaMashiach! He is AWESOME and SO SO good to me!

[@Faithivations]

@@youratwinklingstar5644 yesss!!

[@youratwinklingstar5644]

@diamondsukha1312 I’m so happy to find a fellow believer!!

[@orion.the.pathman]

I watched your glow up diaries deep in my eating disorder. watching this one year into recovery and I am crying for myself and for you, for how normal it felt to hate ourselves, for how I punished my body over and over and over for simply existing. recovery is hard but I am doing much better now I am allowing my body to take the shape that it is healthy at rather than focusing on the image of healthiness that is drilled into us.

[@sylvi_frnd]

i watched her videos too, when i was struggling…now i‘m so much better and seeing this. seeing how my mindset has changed, too. it is amazing. And i am so happy for you that you are allowing yourself and your body to be happy and healthy. i‘m proud of you💞

[@itsmeriii]

100%, glad u’re doing better now

[@PS-bn6st]

i was looking for this comment, this was my experience too

[@nataliesoutlet]

Alivia, you are a gift to this world. Your vulnerability, storytelling and these real and raw human emotions…it’s so beautiful so pure. Thank you for your perspective and continuous light ✨💫

[@aliviadandrea]

Thank u Natalie 🥹🩵

[@bcbeasters]

"It was easy to be kind to myself when I was my ideal standard." ~ The line that should be the biggest takeaway from this video. Translation: "ideal standard" means YOUR comfort level. If you're comfortable, your mind is at ease. Life is very adaptable because things are constantly changing, as time continuously moves forward things will continuously change. It's important that your comfort level is adaptable through acquired wisdom from your life experience... to keep your mind at ease. 😉 And yes, I hijacked the current top comment! 😋

[@HumbleChilduk]

@@aliviadandreahonestly, your vulnerability to post all those videos in your lowest of LOWS. YOU, my friend, are more powerful than you’ll ever know. The sheer falseness of beauty that gets presented daily by how we should look and be was literally cut in half when you focused on what TRULY matters. When you spoke about wanted to be happy when you were a child… that spoke deeply to my soul. We are so much more than this body which is slowly dying, but our souls.. they live on. We need to make our spirits happy and never place them in the hands of people who could have the potential to destroy us. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, your message will touch MANY. I thank God for you. Special indeed.

[@crystalhoward1895]

Amen!! You are beautiful inside and out girl I can relate soo much

[@oliviastar3812]

Your story so perfectly illustrates & narrates what is wrong within the entertainment industry. You've shown the angst that so many celebrities (especially women) go/are going through. In this new generation of KZbin and Instagram 15-min-celebrity fame where the net has widened and more and more wannabes are lured into it, there are even MORE casualties. It's all fools' gold. I really admire your open narration of what you've been going through. I hope and pray on your seeking journey that you also come to realise the TRUE answer is not to seek to be your own best friend but to seek God, through Jesus Christ and realise the true satisfaction of knowing Him and the peace and REAL friendship he has for you. He really is the BEST of the BEST friends you could ever hope for or realise. He created you, me, all of us and wants us to seek Him and know him for ourselves. He says "Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" That's the peace you need and crave. I pray you find Him - He promises that you will if you seek him with your whole heart. Also check out the story in the bible about Jesus and the woman of Samaria. I hope and pray you do, and report back on that. God bless you Alivia. @@aliviadandrea

[@regisfrancov26]

I see your struggle, women and everyone’s struggle to just be loved and recognized and not to be humiliated on just because existing. The glow come from what you keep close and warm to your heart💜 thanks for sharing, send you a hug.

[@lavender004]

To be honest, i think this is the most realistic and human thing ever, to keep falling down and getting discouraged struggling to keep up and get back up again. Usually on social media , we'll see someone start a diet vlog and then they lose all the weight or get fit and then everythings perfect lol. But this video really highlights the process some of us actually go through ❤ Alivia well done , we're all so proud of u 🫂

[@SianYu1]

Exactly! People will complain and say it's triggering etc. but the reality is this is what it's like for a lot of us. I'm glad that there's an influencer who actually shows the harsh side of 'glowing up' and not what's deemed as pollitically correct. This girl is the real deal.

[@Oneperfectrose]

If your dream body is a nightmare to maintain, it’s not your dream body.

[@darklake71]

That’s incredibly wise :)

[@sydpc]

I needed to hear this.

[@jasminealexia]

Yes! I had gained to my dream body several times but it required way too much effort to maintain so now I just accept myself for who I am and emphasize the things I can more easily control. Much more happier here! ❤

[@ryleedull1142]

Your ability to organize your thoughts and feelings is quite remarkable. You have a real talent for film making

[@athiraj3908]

Oh yes true statement,this journey is inspiring apart from that she is very aware of her thoughts and feelings.and communication is perfect.whole framing of this film so profound that makes you curious to watch till the end.I agree the fact that she is talented in film making ❤ too

[@goldenrain87]

Agreed

[@aliviadandrea]

thank u so much🤍

[@Yourbae_33]

@@aliviadandrea omg hii u inspire me

[@BirajBora-ng7ze]

Amazing content in this video! I rarely suggest anything in comments, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is a game-changer. It provides deep knowledge on wealth and self-care that can really make a difference. Take care, everyone

[@VaniaDavita]

This is the real definition of glow up. Trying to love urself whatever u are.

[@sgnibble1]

That part where she said “say something nice about yourself” and just cried…. That hit home 😢 I hope she finds inner peace

[@AA-iy4gm]

It looks like towards the end that she has a healthier view of herself and the external world, I do wish that she or anyone in a similar situation doesn't dismiss negativity from their parents in form of their unhealthy comments because sometimes parents do have expectations that are not in the best interest of their kid but in the interest of looking good as a family unit to the outside world and that is not okay, parents should be more supportive and loving.

[@shreksmistress]

I felt it to my core

[@Rosa-kd2cl]

Honestly I’ve been in the same position too many times. When you constantly criticize yourself, it’s almost impossible to compliment yourself...

[@andriannawalsh931]

Getting off most social media legit saved my life. Comparison culture is really the thief of all joy. I don’t spend hours staring at myself in the mirror. I don’t take selfies more than 3-4 per month. I don’t post pictures of myself anymore. I make a conscious effort to be mindful of the media and content I consume. I’m not perfect, I still catch myself comparing myself to others sometimes but I am so so so much kinder to myself than I used to be about how I look and I spend so much more time worrying about how I feel and how I’m growing my mind and my love. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I’m so happy I did because I wouldn’t still be here today if I didn’t find the strength to do it

[@xx-sc4zb]

i deleted all my social media apps, but i still have my accounts and sometimes i use the web versions to check stuff and because my fomo isn't entirely healed. Whenever i linger on them more than what it's needed i instantly notice how much it does affect me how i start comparing myself (my life, my body, my mind) to others, how i get nervous about other people's mindsets, and generally how much i feel worse after. It's terrible to think that before deleting them i did this to myself hours and hours each day, and i can't understand how i did it.

[@sambalgoreng]

i am doing all the same things as you! i noticed early on that Instagram is such a bad world for me. i kept believing that what people choose to portray is their actual real lives, when its not. its not real. i constantly need to remind myself of that. I end up feeling this hatred towards them and myself because of Instagram. uninstalling the app itself has done so much for my mental health :")

[@nadiahlee154]

Girl same. I've been doing the same for this past 3 years. I'm feeling great now. No Ig, no tiktok. But I still got my FB to check some stuff. Just my anime's community. Some funny videos. That's it. Nothing more. I don't post pics or post something about myself anymore. I don't follow anyone or add anyone. Just me and myself. 😂 This is the best decision I've made! No turning back. ❤

[@andriannawalsh931]

@@nadiahlee154 hell yeah!! ❤️

[@saltymituna6975]

y'all are talking about social media and it feels like i'm the only one who also feels very insecure and jealous of people i see in real life. it's... hard. i see how pretty they are and i want to hide. because i am ugly, because i think they will think that too... and i always think that if they're laughing, they're laughing at me. bullying did it's job, i suppose 🙂 it's just sad. i used to think there are no ugly people, because all people look like people after all, and here i am now... being my own number 1 bully. it could be an effect from being affected by social media of course, but i am just in general not very good looking to add on that. so yeah, fun little experiences of my everyday life :D

[@sunfloweriiy]

It is my first time here on your channel but gurl, I did not find you ugly once during all of the video, and I am glad you realized how worthy you are

[@cattania747]

I feel like this video needs to be shown in every school and college. It's so powerful, and contains knowledge that every human being needs. Thank you for sharing this

[@brandonhealy7158]

I wholeheartedly agree!

[@fayolasaunders6342]

I agree this is very important and powerful.

[@julezthealien2467]

100%

[@chrissy138]

Instead the mass of teenage girls watch wizardliz who push this toxic glow up culture

[@grillatotal]

she'll always be more inspiring and relatable to me than other weight loss or glow-up stories. she "failed" and got back up several times, not for the sake of not giving up but actually did the necessary introspection to break the unhealthy cycles. she's not afraid to show the painful parts because she knows people need to see it. i remember always thinking how sad it was how hard she was on herself at her higher weights to the point of not even trying to dress nicely, i remember in her original glow-up video she called her "former" self weak-minded and stuff like that. so seeing her decide to basically love herself unconditionally was a relief. even if she hadn't ended up losing weight, that alone showed the biggest and most drastic development in her. you can't hate yourself into loving yourself. tough love is necessary sometimes but ultimately there is no roundabout for loving yourself and accepting yourself, you have to do this to move on with your life. alivia, i'm glad you found self-love.

[@fireybutmostlyfriendly4299]

It is the gift of desperation. It is truly a gift. The joy is within the struggle.

[@madhavimanisha5577]

In my opinion, universe will keep sending you these situations until you see the actual realities of life and make peace with the realities and learn the actual lesson....we all are learning...this same kinda situations happened with me in many aspects of my life until I finally see it and make peace with it🤍

[@luiiiandmovieee]

"you can't hate yourself into loving yourself" is a very great and true sentence

[@angelbean9270]

I broke down when she said "I want to forgive myself for everything that happened". And somehow it stuck with me, because I feel like I haven't and maybe I need to heal things that were broken. Thank you, you helped more than just yourself. You are helping a lot of people. ❤

[@j.2257]

i was just scrolling on my KZbin feed and seen this video be recommended to me i clicked on it out of curiosity and not even lying this video opened my eyes to the toxicity around me especially with family wanting me to "look better" or "look good" even though i have been trying but watching this video is making me realize i dont have to care about what they have to say and just continue on living my life and loving my self! i really loved it when u said "ur happiness dosent have to make sense to other people." and i will always have that in mind! thank you so much for this video I'm glad to say im a new subscriber!!!

[@senaakdeniz.]

people are so used to “glow up with me in a day” videos which are absolutely not attainable in the long term that real glow up videos like yours bore them. this is what a real glow up looks like, you have to come to terms with your insecurities and struggles to really glow up from within. i honestly feel not so alone whenever i watch your videos, they show the reality and are actually relatable

[@se-lene]

I noticed that these people who make vids on "glow up in a day" are always the pretty ones with no issues and sometimes rich as well, so glowing up to them is getting facial treatments, new haircut and hair colour, nails done, skincare with lots of products etc. Where everything looks pretty and aesthetically pleasing.

[@Nothereforit174]

@@se-leneglow up was never meant to be anything beyond shallow. It’s your fault and hers for trying to make it more. That’s the issue with these trends. Y’all will see how it originated and then add a bunch of extra meaning to it to insist it have some deeper reason and It just doesn’t work like that all the time because it’s the internet and someone’s a fun trend is just a fun trend.

[@Nothereforit174]

Whats a real glow up lol? They were never about emotions and intellect. Some of you just made it that because you can’t stand addressing issues on your Own without internet guidance nor can you allow for trivial trends. Everything must be greater than it actually is even to your own detriment

[@chelleaina-xlr]

“glow up from within” that sums it all up I love that so much if you treat yourself like garbage and work on your outer appearance alone you’re just a garbage bag with a gucci belt🤷🏽‍♀️ the real work is within

[@chelleaina-xlr]

@@Nothereforit174 your opening sentence should be framed!! people have been using something so shallow as a guiding tool for their whole life of course it’s not going to be sufficient :( just wish people knew the better alternative than the weekly inconsistent self hate driven glow ups

[@418Im_a_teapot]

Honestly this was the best “glow up” ever. Truly finding yourself and self acceptance is where true healing is. Out of my decade being on KZbin I’ve never seen such transparency like I’ve seen on this channel. Thank you for everything.

[@amethia34300]

Wow, in the last clip at the end, you look like a totally different person. And I'm not saying you physically look different but it's like something is radiating from within and shining through. You really have glowed up.

[@peachby5917]

You can start to see it from her eyes and smiles when she starts accepting herself, it was like the love for herself made her eyes physically sparkle and smile radiate warmth. And it made her more beautiful than any specific weight could ever (i hope the last part makes sense)

[@miabellaperez3367]

Wdym by “something is radiating and shining from within” cuz she already fully loved herself in the clips before in the mall when she was at a heavier weight, so I think u may be biased and are actually referring to her physical appearance cuz why would u only refer to the last clip.

[@hermoinegrangerful]

really happy for her. she looks like a new person in the last clip. is it the eyes?

[@amethia34300]

What 😂 ? Or maybe it's because this clip was the one that was the most focused on her face and the longest ?? + she seemed excited about her new project?? Stop trying to see bad things everywhere

[@miabellaperez3367]

@@amethia34300 If anything the clip in the mall was more focused on her face and a lot longer... so maybe not. And if it's bc she is excited ab her new project than that "radiating" and "shining" "something" is an emotion called excitement which is not equivalent to a "glow up" i.e. loving yourself. I'm just pointing out that you may be biased and only called her "glowed up" in the non-physical sense when ONLY referring to and putting emphasis on the clip where she was externally "glowed up" and say she looks like a complete different person but then deny and disacknowledge that it has anything to do with her physical "glow up". Do u see what I'm getting at? I'm not even trying to see bad things, but I'm not sugarcoating either, I notice things and I'll say it how it is.

[@legendarygamer1714]

Ur so brave for putting this out on the internet - ur giving me more hope that I can change my life for the better and it’s not impossible

[@pwetty4r4]

This series is a cultural time capsule and a masterpiece. The ups and downs capture what so many of us are going through, and you put it all together brilliantly. I hope you are really proud of what you have been able to create here

[@chenelagerwall409]

Dude the anxiety in her breath. Im so sorry the world made you feel that low. Im so so sorry that you didnt have somone to support you. I hope you get the love you deserve and honey. Dont let the opinion of strangers screw up the love you have for you. You are beautiful and the more you think that the more youll be . ❤

[@Jen-fq1jz]

This is the best comment ever ❤️

[@mxinnominate6774]

❤

[@berriillaa]

I'm so sorry we did this

[@lillyvalley415]

She was having an awful time and I hurt for her 😞

[@maynigoncalves9209]

I cried like a baby watching this.... Because... Nothing has ever touched me so deeply. I saw myself reflected in you.. in your pains... The same mentality... I always hated my body, my smile, my clothes... I always sought approval.. I developed depression and anxiety over the years.. I'm not going to tell the story of my life, but... I always thought I needed to look perfect to be happy... I just broke ties with a narcissistic mother and felt like I didn't want to live... You made me see something I ignored... Hey... Maybe you saved a life today... Thank you, truly... Kisses from Brazil 💖

[@veronikachumak8719]

You are beautiful) I don't know you, stranger of internet, but I truly think you are beautiful the way u are) have a nice day❤

[@NaneBarbosa]

I’m also a 35 Brazilian who broke up with the sick narcissist mother 2 months ago and now I’m under compulsory treatment to stop myself of sui…. ide as I do not recognize myself away from the narc. I’d love if we could find a way to have a healing and supportive chat.

[@YOK9988]

❤❤

[@4321togo]

​@@NaneBarbosaYou're going to okay my buddy❤. Recently, I started watching my childhood cartoons and movies, listening to new songs, starting drawing again. When I started these, I still didn't have interest but I continued and with some struggles, they made me feel something about the person I am. I am that curious person who can spend how much ever time and effort to learn the things she likes, the person who tries to not treat others in the way she was treated and I don't like her, I love her! So try to find yourself my buddy. You will be all right.❤ Put the above paragraph at first cause that's more important than the rest. If you are okay with listening to me then... I too went through a journey that is same like hers, each and every thought like hers and found beauty in myself and for those few days, my life was so good, I didn't mind anyone's words. But after those few days, I went back to being that person trying to suit beauty standards and to be a perfect girl everyone would like to be friends with but all this... only gave me depression. I lost the meaning of life. I lost myself. Tried doing my childhood favorites and with some ups and downs, I found a lover in myself.

[@maynigoncalves9209]

​@Sneharathee. Thank you so much🥹🌹

[@winterfoxx6363]

Girl I do remember subscribing to your channel back when just bc I have also been trying to glow up for a while, but I don’t know why KZbin just decided to stick you back in my feed now. My heart is broken for you. I also try to do affirmations and I have one from me to you: you are extremely good at video editing, at story telling, at expression. You’ve shared something so raw that I felt in my soul. I have cried those tears. Felt so despondent, desperate, and numb. You are doing the act of painting through canvas with your story, which you went through on this platform itself, and doing it with all those powers that I mentioned. You are a story teller. A creator. Those are wild powers to have. I also hope to be loved at all stages of my body. You are much more than your fat muscle and skin. I’m learning that too. God bless you, Alivia. I had no idea any of this happened until now, but I’m rooting for you. Please keep sharing your story. It’s a gift to the world.

[@ahlamabushareb5366]

“When we seek validation from others to feel worthy, we start to believe that our worthiness depends on their approval and acceptance” Wow!!!!

[@RabiaMukasoro28]

Word💯💯💯💯

[@themountainsandthesea4121]

​@@RabiaMukasoro28yes! You give them the power that should be yours alone. ❤/ it takes the focus off what matters/ what one truly desires/ wants/ the focus off of who truly loves you.

[@leemadeline9771]

In which minute of video?

[@D3athiscertain]

Those comments are so rude and Im glad you included their usernames they should be embarrassed. I’d like to see them do it as quick as they expect someone else to

[@nightlysparks2563]

the way she carries herself now omgg. This is the typa glow up that happens from the inside, she literally looked so beautiful as if she was glowing towards the end of the video. I am so so happy for you, can't wait for your upcoming series!

[@SacredSoul-k9z]

Love you girl😭💝 This video have been coming on my feed since months but I was just ignoring feeling it's none of my interest but I finally clicked it and I am shook off U are amazing girl You showed the truths of life that many fear to tell Lots of love for you Hoping you start posting soon ❤

[@justinenglish_5750]

The difference between before and after is drastic. I am not talking about a physical glow up but your vibe, you aura, your energy is so different. I mean you are radiating warmth, peace, confidence and self-worth. So glad you are feeling much better.

[@eduardochavacano]

physical glow up is essential. Enough of this inner beauty drama. Just accept some people are pretty while some people are not. But just be a confident person.

[@Amyscreativestudio]

Also it’s growing up, she was at a very vulnerable age plus a combination of internal and external toxicity but as we grow older we learn many things, of course that mental maturity comes to each of us at our own time.

[@KarolynChowningIrootshru-yd2iy]

She literally laughed while talking and not to make fun of herself. It so noticeable

[@jslayz]

i love how people are saying that her aura has changed, because our auras can change how other people react to us. they might feel safer near us or feel more positive, just by having a small conversation. and that means we're shining through the outside, so vivaciously that it affects the people near us. 💜

[@jelam0721]

​@@eduardochavacano How fun you are 😒

[@Tanz-re5wz]

you really made me realize how people suffer from these, it made me feel like i actually am really healthy and happy of myself. this video made me dive deeper in what other people feel like, wheter it is from negative goals, traumatic experience and more. i adore this video.

[@TheLily97232]

Same. I went beyond that obsession and it's the true treasure

[@Stylomagic]

I am so happy to hear that you are fine! So many people aren't and its a big gift. Also I think its a big gift, that even you are fine, you emphasise with people who struggle with mental health. Thank you so much for that ❤❤

[@lalalanding234]

Same!!

[@vaidehiiii]

I turned 22 this year. I'm a VERY private person, I don't have an account on Instagram, facebook or anything. I keep my life very private and don't even share the best photos of mine. I keep them for myself. And I'm Extremely happy about myself, I care for myself, I love myself the most. I don't share my journey or struggles or anything for that matter with the public. There's no particular reason for it, It's just that I enjoy it this way, sharing the best moments with only the closed ones who really matter to me. And I know it takes a lot of guts to share all your vulnerabilities online, I just loved this video and I respect you from the bottom of my heart that you were brave enough to show the world all your insecurities and struggles. Can't appreciate you enough. I heartily wish you the best. Keep loving yourself, stay healthy, stay natural, don't let others define you. I would like to tell this to everyone here, There is enough room for everyone and there are no more boxes to fit you in anymore. You are unique in your own way, Just stay healthy and happy inside. Don't seek validation from people who aren't even valid, they don't add anything to your life. God Bless Everyone. I love you ❤

[@curiouskittenn]

This comment is amazing, you are a wonderful person❤❤

[@SandhyaKhadka-l2r]

This is soooo me ❤

[@JacquelynKay]

💯💯💯

[@princesslamour4659]

Love this comment. I’m not on social media either. I love you for this thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@paigem7886]

Theres something about that. I got married and posted that and people were like WTF WHAT??? hahaha its power

[@alexarohlman]

The forgiveness part hit home for me. Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability. God bless you🤍

[@prizewinningcow]

This is such a universal journey that no one ever talks about because they are too afraid of the shame or judgement of others. I'm so happy you are getting out of the pattern of outside validation and looking within. Acceptance of yourself is not easy. I was jealous, mean, and ashamed of myself. I truly thought my life was unfair, but then I started my healing process with acceptance. Your vulnerability is beautiful and inspiring. I'm glad to see you back and thriving! Your community accepts all forms of you!

[@terrycrews1584]

I want to add to this comment. One of the major aspects that caused this horrific breakdown of hers was Social Media. Social media is a huge culprit of body image issues and the cause of idealization of perfection. This will shake a persons personality to the core. It will break down your core piece by piece, until you end up having daily panic attacks. Social media creates a shell around you that you will try to polish from day to day, because your natural instincts tell you to survive and in todays world, being noticed and given attention is surviving. I highly encourage people to quit social media or to keep yourself away from there, atleast for some time as a test, if thats all you are willing to do for now. Save yourself.

[@MelisaAleyna__]

People who said these things about her and literally mocking her for the fact she “didn’t glow up” should be ashamed of themselves. I sometimes wonder how these people live, spreading so much negativity. And why did they end up like this. I’ve struggled with how I look, I still do sometimes. And to see this hurts me so deeply that I am angry. There is too much negativity and toxicity in this world its mind boggling. I have been following you since you started your journey and I can’t be more proud of u. U look amazing no matter what. And I hope u r healed. U deserve everything and all the love.

[@douriflivesinmywall]

I'd be willing to bet that with most of them, it comes from how they're handling their own issues. They liked seeing her try, succeed, and then - in their eyes - "fail", because it made them feel better and superior for not even trying at all. It says everything about them, and nothing about the human being they were being cruel to.

[@_DEVILYCH]

They are possessed and miserable, only thing they deserve is pity

[@MelisaAleyna__]

There are too many of them. Social media is cruel.

[@beandle4428]

a lot of them are also projecting their own failures and what they feel about themselves onto others like alivia. alivia deserves all the love honestly :((

[@Suilynemomi]

these 25 minutes changed everything and won where therapy failed for soooo long. I just love u so much. be proud, girl. u r gold.

[@ouisalcarrom1937]

Her old her just makes me wanna comfort and hug her, let her know that’s she’s perfect just the way she is :(

[@liz1791]

i NEVER thought anyone would have this same mindset. every since i gained weight it hold me back from living life and i rot in my home. ive tried to lose it but just like u did it feels IMPOSSIBLE. seeing this video i felt so so seen. i feel a little bit better knowing im not the only one who feels exactly like this and struggles daily. I often wonder how did i get like this. Thank you for being so real.

[@africangirl90]

Hey Liz. Same here.. I've been going through this as well. I've lost a little bit of weight, and it's really telling how my mental health, shopping, hanging out, and living life have been so linked to my weight.

[@framyfilms]

I hope you both are reminded that you are beautiful. You don't have to live up to some expectation of yourself, set a new mindset that will ultimately make you happy and cannot be taken away. Xx

[@africangirl90]

@@framyfilms ❤❤ Thank you, I'm definitely working on it.

[@xei2407]

exactly..

[@javieragajardo6752]

i know nobody is asking for advice here, but i've been struggling with the same thing the past like 3 years. I was the thin girl all my life, even bullied for that sometimes, but once i left my teen years all my body changed and what i once eat with no problem, now make me gain weight like crazy. Its very hard not recognizing your own body and hating it, so i went for my "glowup" journey with a lot of relapses lol anyways, here's the non solicited advice: if u wanna change, whatever it is, your weight, your hair, your makeup, to feel better, maybe you should do it, but if that "glowup" is making you miserable, you're not obligated to do it. If u wanna try, i started a little "diet" which consists in drinking a spoon of coconut oil with 5 drops of oregano oil dissolved in hot water and worked amazing, i no longer have cravings as much as before and my appetite has dropped also. Its a little treatment for your intestinal health and you can elevate it taking probiotics. I dont wanna offend anyone by this, its just something that worked for me and wanted to share with those who might been experiencing the same. You can take it or leave it of course. Hope ur doing ok ✨💗

[@Innateworth]

People can be so cruel... Full gown adults still can be like a middle school bully. Your raw authentic vulnerability is beautiful and an honor to witness. You are courageous to show yourself. I would love to have a friend like you

[@DraconiInfernalus]

adults are just kids in an adults body

[@zion_on_the_mountain]

"When the external validation feels too good, theres usually another side to it." Word.

[@AikoSea]

I’m so happy for you and that this glow up journey has a happy ending with a full glow of mind and spirit too and that you’re comfortable in ur own skin!

[@roserrana]

My heart could not stop breaking. I see so much of myself in you. I am you. I kept thinking, "She deserves to feel beautiful; what is stopping her from seeing what others see?" I had to pause because I never gave myself the same grace. This was incredibly seminal for me, thank you. 💌

[@aishwaryakumar4178]

So much relatable

[@zinja0830]

Being able to just dismiss something triggering and toxic that your parent repeatedly says out of love is true growth. I'm so proud of you and I've never even seen this channel before.

[@davishropshire5361]

Same!

[@hildebilde6646]

Hi wonderful girl. I'm a 60 year old lady who just stumbled on this and this is the first time I have ever commented on a video. Firstly my love, I would love to be the cute, young girl that you are with a wonderous life ahead of you. I wish I could give you all the life lessons to help you reach even higher than you have without social media. Despite what many young people believe, there is a life outside of this toxic, narcissistic platform. You have created this content and built up a tremendous following. Who are those losers who "comment' on others becuase they lack the creativity to create thier own content. Those are the biggest vipers to find. Just like the bully office mate who takes credit for your work. Demons. You are wonderful. So worthy. Ditch anyone who is not positive in your life. It may be a little lonely for a while but in the end you will be happy. People are hateful and unkind. Always remember, "THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO DRAG YOU DOWN ARE UNDER YOU . LIKE A DROWNING MAN IN THE OCEAN CLINGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. A LIFE AND SELF WORTH THEY DO NOT HAVE!! Say it out loud and then smile and know that you are glorious.

[@oceanmoonbelle]

Well said🫶🏻

[@culture922]

Also remember about schadenfreude! Some viewers might not even like her getting better...

[@kiwicherryglowup]

🥺🥺🥺

[@JessieWinterspring]

@@culture922 Oh you just taught me a new word! haha

[@strawberrykun6136]

This is truly a beautiful thing to say hilde

[@sofaa8571]

The way you spoke straight facts the whole video. Why do we aim for perfection SO BADLY? I used to think it was only me who had that feeling of not being enough as I am internally and externally, but now I see that everyone can feel that way and Instagram/tiktok just feeds on that feeling. Thank you so much for this video, it makes me feel less alone, it makes me feel as if I can do better.

[@lapanen_]

At some point it just hit me that we're so not used to see real tears and emotion online, that for the first 10 minutes I felt like I was watching an actor portray emotions. I realized I was getting uncomfortable watching someone cry online because crying is usually acted so bad. When I was able to break the mental wall of actually seeing the person on the screen it no longer felt uncomfortable but I was able to feel with you. Thank you for your honest portrayal of emotions and your wise words in the end. I have to say, this was really touching to watch

[@daena270]

This exactly this. The more I watched, the more I wanted to cry with her. This world is so cruel

[@Senfree]

The thing is, people cry differently. Not everyone cries the same. I cry silently, mostly because I was punished for crying as a child. Some people cry like this, and I have before too, but it's not very common. And some people cry louder than this.

[@lapanen_]

@@Senfree Agreed! I cry differently and it depends on how much it hurts. If I'm just feeling a bit down I just sob silently. It takes much more hardships to make me cry loud like she did in the video. It only made the message so much stronger to me. It was easier to recognize how hard this was on her and how horrible it must have been to make her cry as hard as she did :(

[@Homodemon]

​@@Senfree I also cry silently, and I tense like crazy, like, stone hard tension. But I know that if I don't tense, nothing would stop me from just start screaming, not bawling or sobbing loudly, like, just outright screaming my lungs out like a child, like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" until my throat is a mess and I sink to the ground because I can't breathe. As an adult within society that's not acceptable to do. As an autistic adult though, I feel that that's the only way I would achieve catharsis from crying otherwise crying does nothing for me. I haven't experienced catharsis ever since I was a tiny child, self conscious about how my way of unwinding and making my brain compute and move on is often detrimental to others. Like, raw emotion really is not a template, we all blow off steam much differently to how media portrays it as this quiet tear filled sobbing and blubbering most of the time.

[@Senfree]

@@Homodemon I'm also autistic. If I make sounds when I cry, sometimes it could be the wailing. But otherwise it's been more like a keening noise. Or some mixture of vocal stims in an attempt to self soothe. (I'm not sure how to explain it properly. It depends on what made me cry, I think. If I'm crying normally, or crying from a meltdown.) But I think I'd have to be in an empty house to do that. My house is never empty.

[@my_owl_615]

I am lowkey healing because of how brutally real it is for not just her but ME. Thank you, sincerly.

[@kellyj4272]

Me too. I feel like once you go through that acceptance process yourself, and can truly understand what she means and how she feels, it an amazing thing to think about.

[@ebbacarlman9201]

this is the video I needed and didn't know I wanted. I've been following you alivia since I was like 13/14. Now I'm 20 and it feels like in a way I've grown up with you. It all started with trying to become more flexible for cheer but as time passed I ended up loving your channel as a whole, mostly because I've had the same struggles and the constant desire to "glow up" and become a better version of me. Seeing the raw reality of your glow up diaries made me see you like an older sister that didn't have all the answers but did her very best to make us feel seen and understood. No fake reality, no sugar coding, just the harsh truth. I feel like this video is the ending we all needed to heal and move on from a very toxic mentality that society has put on a pedestal. I couldn't be more happy for you, and as someone who has been going through a rough time I now feel seen and can say to myself "It's okay". Thank you for everything you have done with the channel and for us and I'm glad to have you back!

[@aliviadandrea]

love that we grew up together, thats so special🥺❤️ and thank u so much for the sweet message🥺❤️

[@renee1857]

I’ve had the same experience, been following since forever and this video made me so happy

[@i99vs]

literally me too!! it's so crazy we are 20 now 🥹

[@Vivienne_F1]

thank you so much for sharing this and being so real with us. I am struggling with some weight gain right now and depression and seeing this video and your journey has helped me so much and helped me set healthy boundaries with myself and my obsession with my looks.

[@zora8263]

i can't believe it's been 6 years... i started at 15 and now i'm 21

[@yonder07]

Samee!! I started at around 15 too! Currently I'm 21 haha! ❤

[@willow1698]

And what have you done with your life in that time?

[@s00ki.e]

Same !

[@nn-23]

@@willow1698 why that question? Are you expecting them to come tell you what they have done in their life between the ages of 15 & 21. Let's do you one better, what are you @willow1698 doing with your life?

[@mssydthekid10]

@@nn-23I was about to clap back too lol. I thought Willow was just being rude to the og commenter, but I think she was actually being defensive for Alivia bc the og commenter's comment seemed like it could be negative. Now I'm wondering if it was actually negative, saying Alivia took forever to finish, or if they were just saying how crazy it is they followed her for that long

[@jen-nee]

ive been here from the start, if i look back far enough in my journals i can still find the notes i took from your videos telling me how i could invalidate the needs of my body. when i realised i had an eating disorder i stopped watching you. i got better. and im so so so happy to see how much you’ve recovered yourself. thank you for this video, it’s so good to see the light back in your eyes.

[@mellymouse72]

I’m glad you’re doing better🙏🏼

[@itidatahb]

You really are a true social media influencer. You are the one who taught me that it is ok not to always win. I was overweight, decided to lose weight, succeeded but then gained all that weight back. It was depressing and then I successfully discovered your channel . After that, I decided to change myself but at the same time be kind to myself. Now I have joined gym and feeling some changes in me .Thanks for being there and please don't pay any heed to those negative comments. You are an amazing person. Lots of love.

[@shaylevene6754]

If it helps, a lot of people go through that and just don't show it (losing weight and then gaining it cycle), growth isn't linear and I wish more people knew that so they could stop being so hard on themselves

[@ismafra7707]

You don't need people with fragile egos and narcissistic traits to influence you, you need good mental health specialists to set you back on track