How haters tell on themselves

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Psychology with Dr. Ana

Psychology with Dr. Ana

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 486
@AnaPsychology
@AnaPsychology 2 ай бұрын
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@DucksUpDogsDownCatsSlide
@DucksUpDogsDownCatsSlide 2 ай бұрын
I didn't know that you support using AI technology.
@stargazrsk8r
@stargazrsk8r 2 ай бұрын
@@DucksUpDogsDownCatsSlideit’s very helpful - what’s the problem ?
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
What country are you in? Are you in Europe?
@Portia620
@Portia620 2 ай бұрын
Your channel rocks!!! ❤❤❤ I use the haters bs as fuel!
@scarlett_j
@scarlett_j 22 күн бұрын
I would like to hear more about defenses against bullying and gaslighting, ways to fight back and such. Empower the victims.
@ronnie1638
@ronnie1638 2 ай бұрын
My heart goes out children who are on the receiving end of haters who could be their own parents
@Jess-kn8vl
@Jess-kn8vl 2 ай бұрын
It sets you up for having more haters in your life.
@rampagingshark
@rampagingshark 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for seeing us lol
@StaceyLozano-fz1ul
@StaceyLozano-fz1ul Ай бұрын
Exactly 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@arc8584
@arc8584 Ай бұрын
Well thank you stranger, sincerely. Its a long road to recovery.
@thisisntallowed9560
@thisisntallowed9560 Ай бұрын
I know right I was watching this video and surprizingly it helped me understand what I went through better. I also never got the talk on how to handle bullies. The difference between a criticism and a hater is also enlightening.
@leely7777
@leely7777 29 күн бұрын
Realizing I need new friends. When something bad is happening, they are all ears. When I have good news, it’s crickets…
@JacobGloud
@JacobGloud 14 күн бұрын
Went thru this exact thing recently. They used some of the personal things I told them in confidence against me when they felt insecure. That's how I knew ..... I need new friends
@Zphora
@Zphora 2 ай бұрын
Watch your friends eyes and facial expressions when you are doing well. U will see it
@SteelWool567
@SteelWool567 Ай бұрын
What if you’re trying to be supportive but are secretly very jealous? Seems kind of unfair to judge someone based on how their eyes behave. Yes, it may be a window into how they really feel but they are trying to be a good friend. They are behaving well and I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone based on their thoughts. This is a bit personal because this is something I struggle with a lot. It’s hard for me to feel happy for others because I’m always envious. But I know expressing that is wrong and being supportive is the right thing to do. And so I do that.
@CornFedZ06
@CornFedZ06 Ай бұрын
​@@SteelWool567That's such a great point about consciousness.
@Planetunknown-n9i
@Planetunknown-n9i Ай бұрын
@@SteelWool567don’t be jealous. Ask for advice. Learn from them. That IS what friends are for after all.
@auuuumbers
@auuuumbers 27 күн бұрын
@@Planetunknown-n9iit’s not something you really gave control over. Jealousy is natural, it doesn’t make you a bad person. The behavior is what matters.
@mikevigilance6914
@mikevigilance6914 22 күн бұрын
Yea, psychoanalytic behavior. Watching everyones facial expressions when telling them ypu achieved something is real healthy behavior
@twinberwolves4231
@twinberwolves4231 2 ай бұрын
Haters really don't hide it well, do they?
@carlosoliver1887
@carlosoliver1887 2 ай бұрын
They think they do but once you get to grasp their cues it's pretty obvious
@barbaramay9288
@barbaramay9288 2 ай бұрын
no
@Poppy-yx8js
@Poppy-yx8js Ай бұрын
Nope.
@JeremyRoss-q5r
@JeremyRoss-q5r Ай бұрын
They troll; 🧌🤬 its mirror 🪞 ing/ projector
@chaplainbeats7028
@chaplainbeats7028 18 күн бұрын
Stop talking about me
@vodkalatke
@vodkalatke 2 ай бұрын
The highest compliment you can get from a Hater is silence 🙏 When everyone has something nice to say but that one person stays quiet, you know you're crushing it.
@Pats_Wal_
@Pats_Wal_ 2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂 YES!! 😂😂😂
@ay-tj7pj
@ay-tj7pj 2 ай бұрын
A hater is never silent. They always have a lot of things to say about someone.
@Albacore877
@Albacore877 2 ай бұрын
However, what I think is unfortunate is when you see the mask fall off the faces of family members who you “would think” have your best interests at heart, but instead are secret haters who’ve Been exposed when good things happen for you and they are ALL, silent.
@mariejae
@mariejae Ай бұрын
Sometimes people are quiet if they don't feel they know the person well enough, or know what they're talking about. I've been quiet depending on what the news is and who it's about. I will always congrats my good friends though ❤🎉
@PettyIsMyMiddleName
@PettyIsMyMiddleName 2 ай бұрын
I don’t have time for people and their insecurities, spirits , jealous(y), passive aggressive behavior, etc. I can be social, but I prefer my own company.
@MadonnaGrogan
@MadonnaGrogan Ай бұрын
Same
@auuuumbers
@auuuumbers 27 күн бұрын
But you can’t really judge them for their insecurities. It’s not their fault they have trauma. If they are working on it I don’t think it’s fair to cut them off.
@Planetunknown-n9i
@Planetunknown-n9i 27 күн бұрын
@@auuuumbers they can and they will, you’re coming off as an advocate for toxicity. Nobody wants to be around that bs. So they either need to deal with that trauma in their own time and keep others out of it, or they will get cut off, period. They need to learn, no one is going to put up with their crap.
@PettyIsMyMiddleName
@PettyIsMyMiddleName 27 күн бұрын
@@Planetunknown-n9i Thank u ! You wrote/said it best. ❤️
@PettyIsMyMiddleName
@PettyIsMyMiddleName 27 күн бұрын
@@auuuumbers I’m not really judging them for anything, stating facts doesn’t mean I’m judging. They need to work on their behavior/toxicities . Why would you expect someone who is at peace and doesn’t bring negativity or toxicities, codependency, etc to have to sit there and allow others to ruin their joy and and use their energy for their nonsense? That doesn’t really make sense what you wrote if you actually go back and read it. 🫠
@Summerflower94
@Summerflower94 2 ай бұрын
I had a coworker that didn’t know what I did on my free time after work and I never mentioned my social activities and she always says things I’m crazy and a drug addict and I need to slow down and I’m too crazy with drugs/drinking and she was an ex BAD alcoholic and her husband was on multiple drugs and she went into debt. She tried to act like her life was perfect and mine was horrible but everything she said about me was how she is
@93tianna
@93tianna 2 ай бұрын
😰😰
@jessshnarcky1089
@jessshnarcky1089 2 ай бұрын
Yup. I had this girl in my class tell me everyday how terrible I was and why. One day, she ran out of breath and I said," You really need to stop talking about yourself all the time." She almost punched me but an instructor walked by at that moment and asked, "Everything okay?" They were looking at her raised fist then her face. "Yeah, I'm okay." I said, and the other girl had to go back to doing her work.
@AllanDeslauriers
@AllanDeslauriers 2 ай бұрын
That's what is called projection. Accusing us what they are guilty of.
@tamelashafer8852
@tamelashafer8852 2 ай бұрын
💜♾️🙏🏼🕉️
@Spartan-Of-Truth
@Spartan-Of-Truth 2 ай бұрын
Insufferable.
@rickygrenadier6303
@rickygrenadier6303 2 ай бұрын
As the CEO of Hating, I can confirm this video is true.
@rodrigo100kk
@rodrigo100kk 2 ай бұрын
HAHAHA. Hey, at least you've got sense of humor... That's something
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
Why do you do it ? off the cuff without thinking ? Is it intentional ? What is your MBTI type? I'm guessing xxxP ?
@Phoenix-tq8lt
@Phoenix-tq8lt 2 ай бұрын
@@muma6559because he is jealous of the people he hates
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
@@Phoenix-tq8lt yep! I'd say the same
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
@@Phoenix-tq8lt jealousy is something that can be worked through and dismissed within a few minutes of deep thought and decision. Doesn't make sense to be jealous.
@minervah.8431
@minervah.8431 2 ай бұрын
over the last couple of weeks I had to realise, that I was the hater in my friend group and that I projected so many of my insecurities onto my friends and the people I believed I cared about. By now I have lost several good friends and know that I really need to change things and work on myself.
@LSS091
@LSS091 2 ай бұрын
👏👏👏 you got this.
@sagittariansage_2271
@sagittariansage_2271 2 ай бұрын
Never thought I'd see this realization coming from a (former) hater. Good job with the self awareness. We all learn and grow. You got this!!❤🙌🏽 I'm curious, how have you noticed others behave once you've hated? Do they snap back and say something or get angry, or just stop talking...?
@sittaraatayee3889
@sittaraatayee3889 2 ай бұрын
You acknowledging that takes courage and a big step forward to changing! 👏
@nikkid9915
@nikkid9915 2 ай бұрын
You're a superstar👏👏👏 Self-awareness and accountability! Nice work!!! You've got this ❤
@AC-ib3jj
@AC-ib3jj 2 ай бұрын
Self awareness Is a great thing. None of us are perfect and we all have things we should work on both most people don't imo
@TributesAndUnique
@TributesAndUnique 2 ай бұрын
So my opps from my old job were mean to me because I made them feel stupid. Sounds about right.
@Koozomec
@Koozomec 2 ай бұрын
Hi, I used to give that vibe off. I just talk less and let trouble happend. People come and ask for help, than i deliver simple advice. Not my job to overthink or give lessons to help them. I hope it will help you by helping other a bit "less". Take care.
@SandyCheeks63564
@SandyCheeks63564 2 ай бұрын
if they had been nice you probably would've trained them in how to think like you do and be able to figure things out for themselves. But by being jerks they missed out on that extra help and self improvement. And by you being smart and taking a step back you let them show their incompetence and your usefulness to the company picking them back up when they fell. making you most likely to be promoted and in power over the bullies. Very smart not just work skills but also strategically
@Butterfly828-x8e
@Butterfly828-x8e 2 ай бұрын
People can be very ugly.
@Butterfly828-x8e
@Butterfly828-x8e 8 күн бұрын
And everyone that is mean to you, forgets or doesn't know, that they hurt themself too! Sometimes they feel the pain immidiately and sometimes it creates bad karma for them in the long run. But don't care about their karma! Care about your karma. Heal that. Heal yourself. Love yourself. Work on your own character always with an self honest view. That is what God wants from you. Find peace in your own heart. No Matter what orhers do. Stay strong in God.
@janetteadams4023
@janetteadams4023 26 күн бұрын
Success is the best revenge against haters, people want to see others doing well however not doing better then they are. These kind of people end up alone and miserable since no one wants to be hated on for just being themselves.
@indymg4456
@indymg4456 2 ай бұрын
People that are constantly worried about or judging or sabotaging somebody’s success or planning to throw a monkey wrench in other peoples plans or being fake is a hater
@Oliviaellerenner
@Oliviaellerenner 2 ай бұрын
Haters just want to waste your time.
@strawpiglet
@strawpiglet 2 ай бұрын
This the KZbin hater for sure.
@Phoenix-tq8lt
@Phoenix-tq8lt 2 ай бұрын
Just trying to pull you back cause they’re jealous of something you have or some trait you possess
@2bNot
@2bNot Ай бұрын
Yes they will slow you down and trip you up every chance they get.
@user-nm6dr4uy3d
@user-nm6dr4uy3d 2 ай бұрын
When I was a teenager, I spent an exchange year in France. Unfortunately, most people at my new school seemed to dislike me right away, and I quickly became the laughing stock of the entire school. They would make fun of my accent, my enthusiasm and the mistakes I made when I spoke. I think I was ridiculed simply because I was different. Everyone at that school seemed to be willing to go to great lengths in order to fit in and pretend they were so cool and didn't care about anything or anyone. I was open-minded, curious and cheerful. Most people thought that was a ridiculous attitude to have. Thankfully, I had a few friends and a very good relationship with my teachers. And thanks to my hard work and curiosity, I left France with the ability to speak the language fluently.
@cherhop1
@cherhop1 2 ай бұрын
That’s so interesting. Seems that you were way too cool for that school. Your exuberance was threatening. Happy that the teachers jived with you, what an experience that must have been!!
@noona514
@noona514 2 ай бұрын
You sound cool as heck! I hope they fell back when they realized their opinions didn't matter.
@StephieGsrEvolution
@StephieGsrEvolution 2 ай бұрын
It wasn't you. The French (especially Parisians) can be tough on those who don't speak perfectly. What a beautiful language to know though! 💙🤍❤
@Tswizzle_sizzle
@Tswizzle_sizzle Ай бұрын
@@StephieGsrEvolutionmy guess is they have so much over tourism during the year that they feel the need to “assert” their identity thru bullying.
@2bNot
@2bNot Ай бұрын
Seriously you would instantly be my friend and I would be very glad to hang out and share some laughs and enthusiasm. The uncool were always my best friends like unpolished diamonds..🙋☺️
@keirstin
@keirstin 2 ай бұрын
I think it’s important to stand up for yourself and not be a door mat, but I also say don’t let others determine your character. Don’t stoop to their level bc that’s ultimately what they’re wanting. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Like that saying “do no harm, but take no shit”. Stand up for yourself, but also don’t waste your energy on someone who is determined to be right or mean or whatever it is that they’re doing. It’s very telling on their character. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
@thecloudflower7844
@thecloudflower7844 2 ай бұрын
It seems like people "hate" more on the internet versus in real life. Is it the anonymity behind user names? Projection? Shadow self? All the above? Always baffles me how some can hate people they don't know in real life. There are people that aren't my cup of tea, but I don't "hate" them in the sense that I want them to suffer. I just avoid them. No one's forcing me to watch their channels, their movies, or to interact with them. *shrugs
@Almondshake
@Almondshake 2 ай бұрын
You are right matey
@hweiii
@hweiii 2 ай бұрын
People act like that online because irl they'd get hit😅
@harry69007
@harry69007 2 ай бұрын
Basically it's because of the anonymity people have on the internet. It sort of removes any consequences for actions because of the fact people cannot be punished for their behaviour in any way which may affect their offline lives. I think it's also projection to an extent, insecurities and a lack of self worth are common denominators to this behaviour (Though not always true of all haters)
@kittykat.88
@kittykat.88 2 ай бұрын
Perfectly said everyone 👏👏👏
@GnosisDharma
@GnosisDharma 2 ай бұрын
I would say they act exactly the same in real life like they do on the internet, I know a lot of people hating me just coming in to a room and have no idea why, I think the reason why some people think it's more on the internet has to do with hierarchy, those lower on the hierarchy ladder actually know how people are because the dirt always flows down, authorities don't fake nice because they think they can't use this person anyway so lets h4rm them. However on the internet don't know who anyone is so the true nature of people comes to everyone's knowledge because they don't know who you are, so you become a person they can't use anyway by being fake nice, I hope this makes sense.
@RB-jq6gh
@RB-jq6gh 2 ай бұрын
A projected self confession of their own issues.
@newfreethink
@newfreethink 19 күн бұрын
Sounds like the trump haters. They project their own fears of themselves there daily.
@Sheisme120
@Sheisme120 2 ай бұрын
2:18 I used to have a coworker like this. She would go out of her way literally countless times PER DAY to pick on me and harass me over stuff that literally didn’t matter. Then when I brought pies to a work potluck, she helped herself to TWO pieces, & then had the nerve to tell me they were “okay.”
@killrv
@killrv 2 ай бұрын
and if you dare treat HER like she does to you its all of a sudden a problem!
@fortheladies771
@fortheladies771 2 ай бұрын
@@killrv She would of told people SHE was the hater instead of the other way around
@niamhoon3429
@niamhoon3429 2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@fuchsialocks592
@fuchsialocks592 Ай бұрын
I had a coworker like this for a whole 14 years. Constant harassment and hating. Putting down/belittling my work as often as she could, but then asking me to help with hers. I was way too nice for way too long.
@2bNot
@2bNot Ай бұрын
Yes. I found that if I then turn around to people like her and just speak harsh truth, putting them down where warranted and showing no inkling of caring what they think or say, then suddenly they become the shaky weak one with not much to say, but then beware of their sabotage !!
@barbarabuttler7647
@barbarabuttler7647 2 ай бұрын
A clap- back that Chase Hughs has recommended is: "Did you mean that the way it sounded?" Or, here's one of mine: "Did you mean to be demeaning?"
@fuchsialocks592
@fuchsialocks592 Ай бұрын
Ohh these are GOOD. saving those away for later.
@scrunt62
@scrunt62 2 ай бұрын
this is so powerful. thank you for equipping me to vanquish my enemies. and by enemies i mean barb from the service desk
@scrunt62
@scrunt62 2 ай бұрын
i hope that didnt come off as sarcastic in a demeaning way, i meant moreso to poke fun at myself. this is genuinely really informative, i loved the video. i had a question: i once watched a lecture on transference therapy, where the presenter described how he handled a narcissistic client's projection by accepting it. in theory, this was to show the narcissistic person that being whatever trait they're suppressing doesn't "annihilate" somebody--people are nuanced. the provider could be whatever terrible trait the narcissist was afraid of being, and still remain within his current standing. i was wondering: do you use different strategies for handling projection or tranference in therapy? if the topic interests you, i would love to see a video on different ways to handle projection in practice. you're the bomb!!
@infinitedevinity.8715
@infinitedevinity.8715 2 ай бұрын
Oh shit you gta barb too.😂
@bigvictory143
@bigvictory143 2 ай бұрын
barb, the bane of everyone’s existence
@Leirothehero
@Leirothehero Ай бұрын
Favorite quote regarding this “my haters are my motivators.”
@brainchildren7140
@brainchildren7140 2 ай бұрын
We are all just mirrors reflecting people back to them selves, to help each other grow. So people who don’t like themselves very much will not like you. Especially if they haven’t realized this whole mirror thing yet.
@adventurer3645
@adventurer3645 2 ай бұрын
That analogy of touching someone on a wound versus healthy skin was brilliant!
@Melonsbitter
@Melonsbitter 2 ай бұрын
I had a couple of colleagues from another department literally “shoo” me away like a dog from a communal area, told me to leave when I joined a group of them at the work Christmas party because I was “too cool” for them and another got angry because I got served before them at a very busy bar. I was an intern and only wanted to impress and get on well with everyone. I wish I had known this then!
@chairmanmeow958
@chairmanmeow958 Ай бұрын
Psychology seems like the ultimate embodiment of "I know you are but what am I"
@MercuryCold
@MercuryCold Ай бұрын
It's the study of the mind, mental illness and behavior.
@millie9814
@millie9814 Ай бұрын
Friendly reminder that if someone is being an a-hole, you have the right to feel angry - you're not a hater, just human.
@kaedatiger
@kaedatiger 9 күн бұрын
Hating isn't an emotion. It's behavior.
@millie9814
@millie9814 9 күн бұрын
@@kaedatiger I didn't say 'hating' is an emotion. I said that feeling angry and standing up for yourself and against injustice is not being a hater. It's being human. And a good human.
@93tianna
@93tianna 2 ай бұрын
"Oh dear, I think I have hit a nerve!!!!"
@7c9ND2el
@7c9ND2el 2 ай бұрын
Is projection what leads to identifying a scapegoat, especially in a situation where numerous persons are insecure about the same thing/person? This is very dark but explains a lot.
@SandyCheeks63564
@SandyCheeks63564 2 ай бұрын
Yes and they can often be family members, like jealous siblings
@Sarah-with-an-H
@Sarah-with-an-H 15 күн бұрын
@@SandyCheeks63564 Or parents desperate to keep a position within the family. How do I know my mom is incapable of protecting me from abuse I dealt with within her family. I was the problem because I spoke up about having knives thrown at my feet as a child against my will. She'd rather keep her status with them than be protective of me.
@christophercraig9049
@christophercraig9049 Ай бұрын
Love the comparison between poking a sore spot and triggering someone's shadow self. Very enlightening.
@Dr.Jekyll_
@Dr.Jekyll_ 9 күн бұрын
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” Carl Jung
@findlestick
@findlestick 2 ай бұрын
If someone is hated due to consistently harmful or unethical behavior, the problem can lie with the person being hated.
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
that's different, that's justified, rightly so. Projection is NOT. Projection is not the victims fault. Bad behavior is faulty. That's the difference
@Phoenix-tq8lt
@Phoenix-tq8lt 2 ай бұрын
Nah I’m hated just cause I’m autistic 😂 by literally everyone
@muma6559
@muma6559 2 ай бұрын
@@Phoenix-tq8lt titles and diagnosis don't matter as much as the behavior. Everyone can conduct good behavior
@lw4294
@lw4294 Ай бұрын
Some people are hated because others are jealous of good qualities all the time. Remember Jesus was hated
@2bNot
@2bNot Ай бұрын
​@@Phoenix-tq8ltYes. Me too I think. Easy target because of HFA which was my path from day one. A virtual orphan from a big family, starting at a distinct handicap despite the attributes. Only those who get to actually know us, can see our qualities and rejoice in them. Which does not include narcissistic ego maniacs.
@hedge931
@hedge931 Ай бұрын
Reminds me of this verse, "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, *for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.* " Luke 6:45 ESV
@strawberribubbletea
@strawberribubbletea 2 ай бұрын
People will say they are just being honest when the bigger issue is that they have no filter and no tact, or just being abusive. If it’s not helpful nor kind keep it to yourself. Honesty is not always the best policy.
@nicetalkintoya
@nicetalkintoya 28 күн бұрын
9/10 times we already know what we need to work on. "Constructive criticism," especially unsolicited, is usually not needed.
@Sarah-with-an-H
@Sarah-with-an-H 15 күн бұрын
I'm all for constructive feedback, but I'm really not a fan of overt criticism there's a big difference.
@nicetalkintoya
@nicetalkintoya 15 күн бұрын
@@Sarah-with-an-H If you seek advice or constructive criticism from a trusted friend, that's one thing. You asked for it. And you know they want the best for you because they proved it to you over time, which is why you trust them. Anything else is suspect. Not saying it can't be helpful, just tread carefully.
@Sarah-with-an-H
@Sarah-with-an-H 15 күн бұрын
@@nicetalkintoya Like I said I'm we!come to constructive, but I have an overly critical mom. She's so critical the hypocrisy is unreal. Trying to understand hypocrisies is one of those things that make it obvious I'm autistic.
@nicetalkintoya
@nicetalkintoya 15 күн бұрын
@@Sarah-with-an-H Hypocrisy is hard to tolerate. Could your mom be trying to spare you from making the same mistakes she did? One of the jobs of being a parent is to protect to the extent possible.
@Sarah-with-an-H
@Sarah-with-an-H 15 күн бұрын
@@nicetalkintoya I've already spared myself from her mistakes I never had kids and now I can't. I know like her I'd mess up somebody else's life if I became a parent because I'm like her. So I stopped the generational trauma cycles from going onto another generation.
@aveliese
@aveliese 2 ай бұрын
The irony here is people proclaiming to be unapologetic haters in this commen section. aka telling on themselves how fragile their egos are to be annoyed or bothered by everything.
@IOSARBX
@IOSARBX 2 ай бұрын
Psychology with Dr. Ana, you're on a roll with your videos
@crabofchaos7881
@crabofchaos7881 2 ай бұрын
We have a saying in Russian, "кто как обзывается, тот так называется" - literally "name callers say their own names". Too bad this saying is viewed as childish and cringe, especially because Putin said it. Not many folk sayings can hold water, and apparently this one does, despite everything.
@lynnlytton8244
@lynnlytton8244 Ай бұрын
Well, a stopped clock is right twice a day. It sounds like a good saying even if Vlad the Imploder used it.
@dotty555
@dotty555 2 ай бұрын
I needed this I have a coworker who tells me everyday. Today I walk in with almost empty coffee" wow it's all ice now, no coffee" but in a rude tone- to which I said yes it's time to throw it away in the same tone . Then she starts laughing before startup and says "your clipboard is soo messy" to which I said" it's organized for me and gave her a dirty look. It's my fault- I let her slide so many times, but she will learn. I get to exercise my boundary muscle. Thank you for sharing your gem of wisdom ❤️
@Wooddweller
@Wooddweller 2 ай бұрын
I’d like to think of a world that didn’t have haters. But it’s been my experience since the beginning of time. I self isolate a lot and just refrain from making tons of “friends”.
@idontknowwhatahandleisohwell
@idontknowwhatahandleisohwell 2 ай бұрын
When my stalker got caught she accused me of stalking her. lol
@courtneygillespie1187
@courtneygillespie1187 Ай бұрын
I'm taking these things personally but in reality I should be using their fears against them.
@Daisy-uh8uz
@Daisy-uh8uz Ай бұрын
Same
@IzHapnin
@IzHapnin 21 күн бұрын
....don't fight fire with fire, acting negatively in response makes you an arsonist too
@EAW-c5t
@EAW-c5t 2 ай бұрын
When someone’s eating, it’s rude to say their food looks disgusting. You teach children to be more polite. Maybe she was offended because of that. It’s can be as simple as not having been treated politely.
@B-lazer3
@B-lazer3 2 ай бұрын
Facts
@hoobeshoobes
@hoobeshoobes 2 ай бұрын
agree 😬 this can turn into avoiding accountability for our own harmful behaviours if we’re not careful
@aratneerg3699
@aratneerg3699 2 ай бұрын
The reaction didn't match the crime. This is the point she is making. A healthy individual wouldn't give a damn what somebody thought of what they were eating. Its insignificant psychologically. Its only significant because of conditioning or wounds.
@maddyG7414
@maddyG7414 2 ай бұрын
@@hoobeshoobesbut she did take accountability- she said she didn’t have any tact and it wasn’t socially appropriate, but she’s also absolutely correct. This isn’t a war crime or an abusive action. It’s just a moment of lacking awareness of what is appropriate. Her friend’s reaction was absolutely overdone.
@Mo0shii
@Mo0shii 2 ай бұрын
Not everyone has awareness, so you cannot label someone a hater, tf is a hater in spychology anyway..?
@cynthiarouse
@cynthiarouse 26 күн бұрын
They’re jealous of either your character your physical attributes or your talent/intelligence. They are jealous because they can’t understand you nor can they reach your level. You must let them go. Let them go. Fare well. Without me. If you’re good at your job they’ll be haters there too. Crazy world of unhappy people.
@mariejae
@mariejae Ай бұрын
I definitely have issues with this when I'm insecure. I was often criticized growing up until now and I need to learn not to keep holding onto those criticism to make me insecure.
@ricknoto3689
@ricknoto3689 Ай бұрын
I consider myself an expert with haters. I’ve dealt with male friend haters, and then I’ve had girlfriends that almost seem like they want to be me, when you are charismatic with a high IQ and good looking, he’s going to experience haters
@thaliakate888
@thaliakate888 10 күн бұрын
I read that when people differ in IQ by 15 points or more, it’s as if they live on different planets. Explains a lot. At least 85% of people score below 120, which may be alienating for the remaining 15% that score 120 and above.
@josevigil4233
@josevigil4233 2 ай бұрын
I have learned and grown a lot thanks to your videos! Thank you so much!
@dorabalogh3127
@dorabalogh3127 2 ай бұрын
Another great video! These perspectives can also be used on ourselves, when we get triggered or feel hateful/negative towards a person
@Mindy-r2s
@Mindy-r2s 16 күн бұрын
My mom was my very first hater. I constantly tried to be good enough for her. In the end, we parted ways. Sad.
@DoodleWrite
@DoodleWrite 2 ай бұрын
I’m laughing because I definitely called out someone like this recently - why is it usually a friend of a friend? When they try to justify their comments, don’t get swept up in their word salad (obfuscating). They’re just being an asshole.
@djw8591
@djw8591 2 ай бұрын
I loved this video because I feel like I learned a lot. Including that the way someone makes you feel when they hate on you is their very own projection. I may have to come back and listen two or three more times. 🌹🌹
@Sarah-with-an-H
@Sarah-with-an-H 15 күн бұрын
When your haters and bullies are your own family...
@BiancaO.-qc9bd
@BiancaO.-qc9bd 29 күн бұрын
I use to let others project on me, now I don’t. I point out their insecurity, and tell them about themselves, and tell them to stop projecting onto me. This is because a lot of people need to hear the truth! You will be surprised at the lack of self awareness people have, it’s disturbing. If you don’t stop it in its tracks, you will keep running into the same argument with this person. I’m not tap dancing around anyone’s insecurities, they better deal with them because it’s not my problem.
@NateReadsDiversely
@NateReadsDiversely Ай бұрын
To those who plan on using the "Oh, dear, I hit a nerve" technique: Is it petty? Yes. But it's also the only way to disarm someone like this. Some people are so insecure and miserable that the only thing they care about is feeding their ego and what everyone else thinks of them, and they don't care if it hurts you. Therefore, calling them in won't work, and neither will placating them. People like this will only stop if you humiliate them by beating them at their own game. (And ironically, those of us who are good at doing this don't like to do it.)
@chocolateprincess2656
@chocolateprincess2656 2 ай бұрын
Very demure and mindful
@oliolioliX
@oliolioliX 2 ай бұрын
Indeed one of the demurest videos ever
@ShariahSierra
@ShariahSierra 2 ай бұрын
Very much demure✨
@ashleynoelle7429
@ashleynoelle7429 Ай бұрын
It’s a slippery slope to be careful of. Controlling narcissists who are inherently insecure about everything will accuse their partner of doing this to stonewall any feedback about their partnering style- especially when they’re being called out for neglect.
@crystal8242
@crystal8242 2 ай бұрын
Uhh the sushi story…it probably wasn’t because she didn’t like the sushi that day 😪 she was probably teased a lot for having traditional food …maybe that was the trigger.
@harry69007
@harry69007 2 ай бұрын
Love the video, I'm starting Psychology at University in September and your videos are really informative! I think after the hating/bullying I've experienced, that it makes a ton of sense people are projecting their deepest insecurities from their shadow selfs onto others, to potentially make themselves "feel better" or along those lines. Keep up the great work Dr Ana!
@haileypeterson989
@haileypeterson989 2 ай бұрын
This video couldn't have popped up at a better time! I'm on my lunch break crying because my toxic manager was just picking me apart and saying my Tendencies are that of somebody who's mentally ill knowing very well that I do go to therapy Thanks Anna ❤
@aratneerg3699
@aratneerg3699 2 ай бұрын
You are on a break. Thats your break. You in a union?
@SecretB-p3j
@SecretB-p3j Ай бұрын
Sometimes I feel like my existence alone upsets my haters lol like I’m just BEING… it has nothing to do with you why are you so mad 😂
@ayonna717
@ayonna717 Ай бұрын
Couldn't have said this better myself 😉
@unionunicorn6776
@unionunicorn6776 Ай бұрын
They jealous. You have something they want, but can’t have. Stay mad haters.
@switchbackfive
@switchbackfive 18 күн бұрын
I recently experienced a full on breakdown from gaslighting by someone i considered a friend. I really thought i was going crazy and was considering checking in to a mental hospital, only to find out a few days later they had been actively sabotaging me- because he thought it was funny? Dude was constantly projecting telling me I was lying about stuff i knew to be true, so much so that i started to believe i was losing my mind. Psychopaths smile to your face while that lie and steal behind your back
@Socsob
@Socsob 2 ай бұрын
A big reason to want to clap back to someone is because they actually hit a nerve. Would probably be projection if you built up resentment and then said “oh, looks like I hit a nerve”
@LSS091
@LSS091 2 ай бұрын
Hm I think it might be more like someone poking you repeatedly until there's a bruise
@CobraDove1111
@CobraDove1111 27 күн бұрын
Standing up for yourself with a boundary and calling out the truth against someone's trigger is absolutely not projection
@GemmaDann
@GemmaDann 25 күн бұрын
"Oh dear I've hit a nerve!" Is just another way of saying... "are you triggered?"
@savanaahava7647
@savanaahava7647 2 ай бұрын
Goes to show you cannot take things personally, rule #1 in the four agreements
@theonewhoknows2817
@theonewhoknows2817 Ай бұрын
Actually #2.
@timhorton7420
@timhorton7420 2 ай бұрын
But it can't all be projection, what if sometimes it is about you not them?
@tiagonthego
@tiagonthego 2 ай бұрын
Fr, lol.
@rachel-jm2jb
@rachel-jm2jb 2 ай бұрын
this video made me come to an epiphany. several years ago my MIL and i were having a spat, and she later complained to my husband behind my back about how i have a messed up sense of love because my parents sleep in separate beds (my parents very much love each other and sleep in separate beds because they both snore at 1000db). i never said anything about it but inside i was so insulted, like wth do you know about my parents?? how dare you?? MIL and i have always had a great relationship and she is such a sweet person, it was really unlike her to say something like that. after watching this i realized that that was a reflection of her own insecurity -- she got divorced when my husband was 4 and she's never had a stable relationship since. meanwhile my marriage with my husband has outlasted hers at this point and my parents have been happily married for 30 years. it makes so much sense now! (p.s. she and i have made up and we still get along really well)
@homeontherange733
@homeontherange733 Ай бұрын
Bob Dylan was said that the picture of what you are about will come true. It's kinda of a fragile thing so you want to keep it to yourself. If you put it out there, somebody will try to destroy it so you have to kinda of keep it to yourself.
@Leda98
@Leda98 2 ай бұрын
I think the example of the sushi is something to be careful with. You don't know how someone is feeling especially when it comes to food you never know. Your friend could have been dealing with something alot deeper than just the sushi problem given the intense reaction. All love ❤
@shar-k7e
@shar-k7e 17 күн бұрын
you're actually smart and elegant. i'm grateful you let us into your perspective dr. ana
@neasahayes6044
@neasahayes6044 20 күн бұрын
Most people are like this nowadays. Looking for a way to provoke others or attacking them in a passive aggressive way even strangers. A lot of the population have large issues.
@TheCultivatedMind
@TheCultivatedMind Ай бұрын
Remember, not everything is a projection.
@aratneerg3699
@aratneerg3699 2 ай бұрын
Wow, you are so good at explaining this. I finally get it! The shadow self. The hidden from personal view self. The one we deny to acknowledge. THAT'S why it shows up!
@quietnough
@quietnough 2 ай бұрын
this is very interesting topic! noticing such stuff in other people helps me to notice it in myself. also it helps so much in understanding where the person is coming from mentally, so you don't take some (or even a lot) things personally. i would be glad if you'd do more videos about it
@etaokha4164
@etaokha4164 Ай бұрын
Actions speak louder than words
@EsaA6540
@EsaA6540 Ай бұрын
I just discovered this channel and i am really glad i did because those are videos where you actually learn something presented to you in a healthy, neutral and humble way. I dont like the videos that you find online where people talk as if they would have figured it all out and now everyone wants to get their precious expert advise. I think i will take my time to discover the videos on this channel and to take some notes because the information here is really good. This is a very good job you have done and it is incredibly interesting to listen
@Goaddichnixan
@Goaddichnixan Ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing. As someone who was bullied in school, this was a very insightful video. :)
@rahimamohamed6667
@rahimamohamed6667 2 ай бұрын
This is exactly how i think... I will only get to that point after repition. I will share exactly why they are projecting.
@sherimagdaleno884
@sherimagdaleno884 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for the clear distinctions. I’ve recently been feeling that a close friend is hating under the guise of criticizing and your dystopian cations confirmed my feelings. I will definitely trust my feels. ♥️
@burningknuckle26
@burningknuckle26 Ай бұрын
Haters are insecure narcissists. Always angry always projecting
@2bNot
@2bNot Ай бұрын
No they are not "always angry". Please stop the misleading diagnoses. Narcs are often very smug and happy and very popular in the right circles. They often don't get angry but instead get revenge or cause you grief.
@drtale23
@drtale23 2 ай бұрын
About the sushi thing, all my childhood i was told its like the rudest thing to say to a person their food is gross so i get it that she got pissed, maybe its an education thing
@JillianSiobhanMal
@JillianSiobhanMal Ай бұрын
Such great advice! This happened to me earlier this morning in chat. I have PTSD and as a service member on a criminal unit, I get a lot of haters. They purposely try to trigger me as they know a lot of personal things about me and stalk me in person and online. I just said, “I’m sorry, did I trigger you?” And they went away 😹✨. I wish it would make sense to detail the entire conversation and back story cuz it’s kinda funny but I won’t.
@tsharagodwin6090
@tsharagodwin6090 Ай бұрын
This is the first time I’ve come across your channel….I am so impressed by you….and well informed 😊
@UnbiasedStrays
@UnbiasedStrays 2 ай бұрын
Nice Job. I typically Freeze when haters project with Left field insults. It’s like I can’t believe they would say or question that? Like why? I realize you just never know with people. Expect nothing.
@stoneesoteric
@stoneesoteric 2 ай бұрын
From one Dr. Anna to another-this is accurate af. Great info and examples.
@Tarantula_Fangs
@Tarantula_Fangs 2 ай бұрын
Wow, she’s really smart and beautiful.
@Dan0rioN
@Dan0rioN 2 ай бұрын
Damn as the oldest male of 6 males & narcissistic family I needed this so much would love to hear more on how to handle haters & narcissists which are practically one in the same
@theonewhoknows2817
@theonewhoknows2817 Ай бұрын
Close....All Narcissists are by trait Jealous and Envious.
@Dan0rioN
@Dan0rioN Ай бұрын
@@theonewhoknows2817 Yeah exactly aka HATERS.. Don't forget the arrogance
@The_green_zebra
@The_green_zebra 22 күн бұрын
Love your videos. They are always full of useful information. Thank you so much for sharing your very valuable knowledge. I have learned so much from watching.
@connorleemerrion1195
@connorleemerrion1195 2 ай бұрын
Who dared to hate on a clinical psychologist? 😅
@cosmictraveler1146
@cosmictraveler1146 2 ай бұрын
Like why would you even attempt to bully someone whose main thing is to get into people’s heads lmao
@seedsoftruth57
@seedsoftruth57 2 ай бұрын
Wow I didn’t know that was what a hater was I thought it was someone who was just jealous or envious that they had to do something and someone else didn’t have to do that thing to get whatever it is and that really made them a hater
@ash-shakirwhitaker7008
@ash-shakirwhitaker7008 26 күн бұрын
I do the best that I can to "make-lemonade-out-of-lemons" in a situation like this.
@JulianaAndersson
@JulianaAndersson 2 ай бұрын
lol! Deadman’s cove is exactly the kind of name that would be in WA State… I lived there too for years… hahaha… people just want to play the game of hookem… where the want to see how angry they can make you… it’s the hooks that keep people engaged
@93tianna
@93tianna 2 ай бұрын
I never thought of that before
@motorcitymangababe
@motorcitymangababe 2 ай бұрын
I feel like this is auch better term than sealioning
@YourUpstairsNeighbor
@YourUpstairsNeighbor 2 ай бұрын
Waiting for the Dr. Ana & Dr. K crossover..... 😁
@babaganouche9605
@babaganouche9605 2 ай бұрын
Yes!
@rodricusperry2460
@rodricusperry2460 2 ай бұрын
Just keep doing your thing you got something they don't say to themselves they are jealousy and the haters they always going to be haters but you keep on shining you keep doing your thing you going to make it on KZbin❤
@karinturkington2455
@karinturkington2455 2 ай бұрын
You are amazing! I love your videos. You dig deep. Thank you.
@ftmrivas3043
@ftmrivas3043 27 күн бұрын
This was quite informative. Thanks
@pj61114
@pj61114 Ай бұрын
Projection at play. Its all about Me. Thanks! Good Points Made.❤
@savanaahava7647
@savanaahava7647 2 ай бұрын
Wow!! I’m very happy with the all around quality of this video!! Better than ever!! Keep up the good growth ❤
@sheenadenae3156
@sheenadenae3156 17 күн бұрын
This is so true! I tell my kids when they say something mean to someone else, they are saying it about themselves 😂 on kid level: one kid says “you’re a stinky butt face”. I tell that kid: “if you say it, you are it. “ it actually works and they don’t really talk mean to each other anymore!
@yourfutureisnow6480
@yourfutureisnow6480 20 күн бұрын
All of us are unique in our own way. It is petty and immature to be jealous or compare yourself to others because every person has their own set of challenges and issues they need to deal with. So whats the point? We all have 24 hours in the day to choose what we want to think, eat, watch, etc. So choose for the benefit of yourself.
@talisha5863
@talisha5863 26 күн бұрын
Great video!!!! Thanks for sharing Ana👍🏽👏🏾🌺
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