How I Knew I Was Genderfluid // Keara Graves

[@marinegil9922]

i once saw someone say "i would rather people say "she's a person" than "they're a girl"" which makes so much sense to me because i like she/her pronouns but the way that the moon is referred to with she/her, in a way that's unrelated to my gender and doesn't mean i'm a girl (hope this makes sense and maybe helps anyone because it really helped me with my pronouns)

[@alana1873]

omg yes pls refer to me as you would refer to the moon

[@misguided_ghost]

oh wow that makes so much sense thank you

[@Denidrakes69]

See, now I feel that too. Except, I don't believe it's about my sexuality but is related to the socialisation of women and how we are encouraged to present ourselves and feel, which can both feel oppressive.

[@niituhh]

That's exactly what I feel, to be honest pronouns don't bother me that much as long as people see me simply as a person.

[@ericagreene1579]

Omg yeah

[@goaway6621]

This does help that genderless soul thing is so relatable

[@KearaGraves]

RIGHT?!?!

[@thetinyscientist1634]

Exactly ! I always thoughts souls have no gender. And they don't. It's great

[@AnonymousOnimous]

Yep.

[@Lab-of-Lyynn]

I 'categorized' myself as non binary, but I'm not very happy with it, neither genderfluid, or trans woman... genderles soul - that opens my heart!

[@lilou8465]

I recommend you look up for a famous French author called George Sand. In a play called Gabrielle (1867), the story of a princess who was raised and dresses as a man, she wrote : « I don’t feel like my soul has a sex, like you try to demonstrate to me so often. I don’t feel in me an absolute ability for anything ; for instance, I don’t feel brave in an absolute manner, nor do I feel like a coward in an absolute manner. » George Sand herself dressed like a man when she felt like it, and enjoyed bender gender in her work. Great author and a super fun person to read about !

[@charliewithasemicolon]

13:41 "Just because there isn't someone on the internet who feels the same way as you, it doesn't mean you're not valid."

[@rosedenali7676]

I have a question, just because I'm really unsure about my gender identity/label myself: I know that gender is a construct of socialisation, what we see and learn etc, but if I am questioning these gender roles it doesn't automatically mean I question being a 'woman', right? For me personally I question the stereotypes linked to the 'female' gender role (like wearing 'feminine' clothes, 'acting' feminine etc), but that doesn't automatically mean I can't confidently label myself as female? I feel fine with she/her pronouns, but I just don't feel comfortable with the assumptions/stereotypes linked to it. Like, I can dress super masculine and hide my boobs and still be a confident woman... I am kind of lost, is there anyone out there feeling the same? Sorry if that was a bit confusing 💜 Edit: thank you so much for all the answers, you guys are amazing!!!

[@Denidrakes69]

I feel confused by this too. I think if the person also happens to be a lesbian, then I imagine male attention of a sexual nature would be unwanted....and if you're more inclined to be of a passive nature, and prefer to avoid conflict, then the easiest way to prevent that is to dress in a non feminine way, especially in public. Now, I identify as a cis, heterosexual, female, but I can tell you now, on many occassions I've downplayed my "feminism" to avoid unwanted attention by men. I'm a little confused by this one....

[@kadenthesmart2046]

Hey, so I don’t know if this will help, but from my experience this is pretty common, especially with people more exposed to gender outside gender roles. I’ve definitely questioned my gender a whole lot because of this exact reason, but you don’t have to be feminine to be comfortable as a cis woman! In addition, questioning gender roles doesn’t mean questioning gender all of the time. Here’s how I look at it if it’ll provide any insight: gender roles themselves are a construct, yes, but just because you’re uncomfortable (for lack of a better term) with gender roles DOESN’T mean you aren’t a woman. Ultimately, label yourself however you want, and no matter what label you use, dress and act however. Gender doesn’t dictate presentation nor behavior- that’s what you do. TL;DR: Use any label you want, including a woman/female- and it’s separate from how you present yourself both in fashion and mannerisms.

[@Denidrakes69]

@@kadenthesmart2046 thanks for that.

[@bandallitworm7068]

I’m kind of in the same boat as you unfortunately 😂

[@nadilee1748]

Ok yeah that is normal even tho I'm not female I know several people who hide their boobs of coarse u might be non binary like I am but on binary also cover she/they and those are my pronouns so that could be what it is just know ur valid no matter what.

[@matilda5183]

Omg I love you so much, you’re such a special human being and such an inspiration. You’ve helped me so much with my sexuality and so much more, so thank you

[@KearaGraves]

AW I LOVE YOU!!! ❤️ thank you for all your support... it means everything!!!

[@Mikael-bv4dw]

Omg! I’m genderfluid pansexual and I love to see more representation!

[@KearaGraves]

AYYEE HELLOOO🌈🌈🌈

[@Kiterpuss]

Hello fellow panderfluid friend!

[@daniellegagne8302]

@@Kiterpuss Panderfluid!! yes

[@Kiterpuss]

@@daniellegagne8302 I made it up on the spot tbh, but I actually kind of love how easy it sums up our little group! (Also there's something delightfully subversive about including "pander" in an identity that includes everyone and everything haha)

[@Mikael-bv4dw]

@@KearaGraves HEYYY!!!

[@donutdownpour6959]

ive kinda been tentatively identifying as genderfluid but i was kinda unsure because i didnt really know if i actually was but this video kinda helped me a little and i really related to your experiences and im feeling a little more secure in my identity now :) thank you

[@KearaGraves]

yayyyy i'm so glad!! lots of love!!!💜

[@hellfiresmoon631]

Omg same, I've been really questioning my identity and was afraid of what it could mean to not identify with being strictly female. I've been looking at a lot of other genderfluid or nonbinary people and finding myself. I've also taken several tests that help. This video and several others have definitely helped. Now I go by They/She

[@daisy4371]

i’m in love with keara! they’re such an inspiration

[@matilda5183]

They really are😩

[@magicmood_edits]

Fr tho

[@leealberto4139]

She is not

[@daisy4371]

@@leealberto4139 there was no point commenting though was there…

[@daisy4371]

@@leealberto4139 also it’s my opinion so u can’t disagree :)

[@sofielarkin491]

This is insanely helpful, I've been thinking I don't entirely identify as female and when you were talking about days not feeling like a female, your boobs and somedays just feeling uncomfortable in your more "feminine" clothing is really how I feel!!!!!!!!!

[@marinegil9922]

as someone who's been identifying as non binary and has been looking into genderfluidity this is so helpful. i really wish i would've seen a video like this years ago, i also had a very narrow view of what non binary is and it makes me so see other people talk about it because i relate a lot to your experience so thankyou so much by the way: i would recommend looking into microlabels of genderfluid, one of them being genderfae which is never really feeling like a man (which sound a lot like you described) even if you only identify as gfluid it's still nice to have a label that you really relate to

[@laurenstevens5299]

@marine Whoa that is so helpful thank you so much

[@SunnyCress]

Personally I don’t like micro labels but I do think that looking into them can be helpful but when I started exploring my queerness I kind of started if really ‘zoomed in’ with micro labels and now use queer to refer to sexuality and non binary or genderfluid to refer to gender, both being umbrella terms. I’ve found that these actually give me greater precision with identity myself as I didn’t perfectly fit any of the ‘smaller’ labels if that makes sense

[@Me-ss2gq]

((Okay but you look SO fire in this video. SLAY QUING))

[@KearaGraves]

THANKS LOVEEE❤️

[@adalai_domaruk]

Quing

[@mikudayo_biggest_fan3939]

I’M STEALING THAT

[@mac_and_cheese]

I've been feeling almost exactly the same way- I'm still super confused with myself, and today was a particularly stressful one. This REALLY made me feel a lot better. Thank you for sharing this!!

[@KearaGraves]

❤️❤️❤️

[@sparksoflife101]

Same i just like the word queer 🌈

[@terracampbell6338]

Translady here so cool to hear about people discovering themselves, and also educating people about the spectrum of gender identity. Thanks for doing It in such a relatable way :)

[@blue-flower-2265]

I identify as pangender, and I always shame myself for dressing 'too feminine' to be pangender. Thank you so much for this message, I really needed it. I'm starting to accept myself as pangender even though I dress pretty feminine.

[@morningmoss5847]

like keara said, style doesn't define your gender (:

[@helenacorrea6620]

OMG! I identify so much with that! But I am 16 and I live in my parents house, so I don't feel I have the freedom yet to explore my gender, deep down I feel am not 100% she/her and I feel reliaved to know that the espectrum of gender is soo vast. Along my life I always questioned the divison of clothes between "feminine" and "masculine" and I have researched genderless clothes and I loved. Sometimes I feel more to the "male" side and others to the "female" side. I have a hole life to explore that, so I am very happy that I discovered that and to show that here. Thank you Keara for sharing your own experiences and to open the dialog once more. Kisses, love u!

[@oliviersoable]

You are not Alone! take a deep breath and talk to a good Friend.

[@helenacorrea6620]

@@oliviersoable Thanks for saying this, it means a lot. Well, I wiil eventually ❤

[@naomis2308]

As a teen, enby genderfluid, lesbian, I live for this content

[@via3600]

I don't have TIME for an identity crisis

[@wren3306]

Yas quing!!!! Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on being you!! It's totally normal to change labels, identities, etc. as we are ALL still discovering ourselves. So proud of you, Keara!! :)))

[@Jack-O-Cat]

This video has really helped me. I realized that I am genderfluid back in June, but have been struggling with feeling valid for a number of reasons, one of them being that no one else seemed to have experiences similar to mine. It only got worse when my parents found out and berated me to the point I had to convince them that they had successfully "converted" me because they were beginning to scare me. Hearing that your experiences with gender identity are similar to mine has helped me realize that I am not the odd one out when it comes to being genderfluid. Thank you for making me feel so accepted and valid.

[@Rosalindxxxxxx]

I've been questioning my gender since 2020 and it's been mostly awfully uncomfortable (not always), but your video helped so much, Keara! I could relate to it pretty much 100% :) thank youuuu

[@IrisCrescentMoon]

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this video! I’ve started exploring my gender identity and had seen the term demigirl but never gave it much thought (I will admit that exploring my gender identity has prompted me to become more educated about our/the queer community) and reading that definition BLEW MY MIND. It’s literally the closest I have come to feeling like a gender identity ‘fits’ me, so THANK YOU! I would love to see more videos about your journey, this one has been amazing! Thank you again! 💗💜💙

[@ravensrealm1170]

Im genderfluid too! Im so proud of you for being able to speak so openly about your identity! 💗🤍💜🖤💙

[@rvrtrsprt3231]

yes!!! varying representation of nonbinary expression is essentiallll

[@raindropsg]

Ahhhhh! Oh god! I'm jumping with happiness! I can't believe I discovered myself today! You inspire me! I don't know how to thank you enough! I resonated with every bit of what you said! .....ohh and especially that simple chart.....I can't! So this means i'm not a 'girly' girl exactly, though somewhere feel a bit more feminine than masculine. However, I sometimes feel like being all tomboy, sometimes andogynous, sometimes very feminine, or just nothing more than a human. Thank you so much!! Seriously, I can't believe i found this part of myself in you. :D

[@ellie9380]

oh my God this video feels like the permission I needed to finally actually acknowledge how i'm feeling about my gender and actually maybe identify as genderfluid for the first time. this makes me feel so so seen and heard and like i'm going to be okay. thank you so much

[@carlie4964]

Frr, I changed my insta bio to she/they last night, lowkey scared abt it still but I felt uncomfortable seeing "she/her" in my bio beforehand so I'm letting myself try this out

[@iliam7142]

I relate so much with your experience! Thank you so much for this video ❤️

[@KearaGraves]

ahh i'm glad you relate!💛 thank you so much for being here xo

[@missmaipai]

CONGRATS ON FINDING YOURSELF KEARA 💕💕

[@KearaGraves]

AW THANK YOUUUUU!❤️❤️ much love!

[@missmaipai]

@@KearaGraves I love you and your channel so much and to see you becoming happier in yourself is really nice

[@torinye]

✨fluid✨ i’m so proud of you keara!! this video helped me and i know it’ll help many others!! keep being you because i love you so much ♥️♥️

[@Vampirepup22]

Keara . I've been watching your channel almost 3 years now and it's so nice to see how you've grown as a person . You're such an incredible human being,thank you so much for making this video,as a fellow genderfluid/demigirl it makes me feel very validated and I understood everything you said perfectly . I'm 19,also go by she/they pronouns and started doing so around the back end of 2020 when I started to question my gender . Growing up I felt like I really had to force myself to be feminine,I hated wearing dresses and skirts etc and omg bras were the absolute worst . I always assumed it was because my chest is quite flat that I felt so insecure until I realised,yeah I don't enjoy having breasts one bit ! If I wore a dress it just felt incredibly wrong and made me so uncomfortable . Now over the past couple of years due to trauma and personal events I've changed my appearance quite a lot and while I'm a lot happier now I still sometimes experience dysphoria if I wear something feminine . But then uno occasionally if I wear a binder under the one dress I still down thats less sort of dress like I don't mind too much 😅 a lot of the clothes I wear now are either men's or unisex because women's just get too tight or make me feel icky lol People need to understand that sexuality and gender experience is different for everyone,and it can change multiple times throughout your life . I came out to my parents as a lesbian,now I feel like I'm on the asexual spectrum and possibly biromantic so I don't really use labels anymore Anyway thank you for making this once again,thank you to you and Jessie and all the amazing people who've helped me on my journey 🥰

[@asplash_of_color8022]

I was so confused for a long time and I started using she/they and now thanks to you I know im gender fluid. I was afraid of losing the title of mother , because I do identify as my sons mother but I don't always feel like im fully a girl or boy. you helped me realize im lesbian and not bi and now I know im gender fluid . thank you so much honestly . im a gayby and 30 ive been so confused most of my life. it means so much to me.

[@bialoureiro1944]

i follow you since i was seventeen in my own journey of understanding my identity and my sexuality & now i'm twenty about to turn twenty one, since then i've been understanding more and more the fluidity of things and how i used to identify with being one thing and as i grown that label doesn't fit me anymore, so it kinda feels like a hug to see you are also going through changes, my teenager self looked up to you a lot and i still do it nowadays. thank you for being brave and for being kind, i admire you a lot

[@lakengraham9571]

OMG YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY NEW GENDERFLUID FRIEND!!!!!!! SO PROUD OF U KEARA!!!!!! i am genderfluid and use all pronouns so somedays i am a girl, sometimes a guy, sometimes neither yk (and btw i do have a pixie cut and it's so great a waitor called me he for the first time last week) WAIT I JUST FINISHED THE VIDEO AND IM PAN AS WELL OMG GO US

[@theyhappyhiker]

I am also pansexual and genderfluid, and hearing you talk about your journey is so affirming. Thank you for sharing!!

[@littleladytattoos4581]

This is the most relatable thing ever. Honestly I’ve gone through the exact same journey. Thank you so much, I feel so validated ❤

[@idkhowbutitsvickie6088]

Demigirl here! I love that I found this label and I have friends who identify the same way! I love this video and I resonated with so many of your stories. It feels great to see representation!

[@kassiemae389]

You're helping me so much. I found your channel this week and I've been falling asleep to you talking and it's helped calm down my night time anxiety. I'm struggling with my gender identity and I always have but when I listen to you talk I feel like there's hope for me to one day maybe be out of the closet.

[@elinorplacucci3293]

THANK YOU SO MUCH😭 I CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH CLOSER I AM TO FIXING MY GENDER CRISIS BC OF THIS VIDEO💗 TYSM

[@anastasiabolter4526]

This is officially my favorite video on the internet. Thank you so much Keara for posting this. It makes me feel seen and heard. To know that someone who’s content I love and that I look up to feels and identifies the same way as me is very reassuring and comforting. ❤️ Peace and love always!

[@hannahmichelson3211]

wow this has just unlocked so much for me…. i’ve been questioning my gender for the past couple months and trying to figure shit out and what you just said clicked and made so much sense. Thank you for giving me the words to help me come out and find myself♥️

[@IndigoFireFandubs]

As another AFAB person who doesn't want to have surgery/HRT for any reason and wears make up etc and have been coming to realize I am genderfluid, thank you for sharing your own story. I'm still learning a lot and it's helpful to hear from someone else I can relate to this much. I'm sure it will help a lot of others too.

[@sapphic_guy]

I just felt good watching this video, it's been a while since I started to question my gender and this type of video is very important for me, to feel that there are many people with similar experiences and that it's okay to be like that, to feel represented: )

[@am3lia.s]

this is such an important video SO PROUD OF YOU QUING

[@tanzenderphoenix9536]

Thank you so much for sharing this video! It helps me as a cis woman (she/her) to understand our world and limited language much better. I'm a teacher and would like to be supportive. I'm trying my best using gender neutral terms like kids, partner and so on. Although that's even more difficult in my language (German), because we gender almost everything. I'm really happy about this video and your courage to share your feelings. The idea with the gender square is amazing! Have a great day!

[@sarahnavarro7649]

OMG I've never found the words to describe myself, it's so confusing. But you got it, you did it, that's how I feel, that's exactly how I feel THANK YOU SO MUCH It's been ages since I started to study my gender identity and I've never found something that fit But omg that's it... Thank you so much, love you and your content, I've been watching your videos for a while and I just found this one Thanks a lot ❤️❤️

[@lehansaaskar9824]

KIRERA ! i dont think ive ever resonated with a person at this level, i think i might be genderfluid ? so, thank you

[@kylejoe5477]

I am much older than you but it is not too late to discover my new self. Thank you for helping me with this journey.

[@lassam333]

Very happy for you that you figured this out! Also welcome as a pansexual (from a fellow pansexual).

[@sahaana6293]

Omg! I feel like my life is being validated! Sending you lot of love Keara!

[@anthonylaiferrario]

I identify with your experience here. I have been struggling with this a lot and you are helping me be making this video

[@starbaby02]

haven’t watched the video yet but bestie i fully needed this today

[@starbaby02]

update: this was too relatable i love them even more now!

[@lilyrobyn8105]

This really helped!! I've been struggling with my gender and sexual identity for so long, and I relate so much more to this than most other non-binary experiences. Literally just about everything you said is how I feel, except I think I also reach to the dude end of the spec sometimes too, possibly less so dudette. Thank you for this wonderful video! And I think I'm pan too but not sure :)) FLUUIIIIDDD

[@hyun-shik7327]

Growing up, I would often find it unnatural to learn the masculine version of a thing, and always just assumed that this difficulty was just a natural part of growing up - all kids learn to behave themselves and not to challenge authority, right? I stuck with this assumption all through grade school, went to Catholic high school that actively suppressed LGBT+ identities, and then started college as the pandemic hit. The pandemic broke my mental health badly enough that I started getting therapy, and that has led to me reevaluating a lot of things I had always assumed as default until one day it hit me: I was applying for a Summer job, mindlessly ticked the box for "male" which aligns with my genitals, and immediately second guessed myself - because therapy has taught me to process all information like that eventually. Although I kept it like that and turned in the application, I followed that up by just staring out the window for a quite long time, thinking. Then I got out mu iPad and typed the once sentence that has forever changed me: I cannot say with 100% certainty that I identify as 100% male 100% of the time. That was January. I'm studying abroad right now so I don't have therapy (what terrible timing), but oh boy do I have some great things to think about when I get back. Finding this video has been a great way to help tide myself over.

[@ember6814]

I was just watching a kpop boy group performance and I realllllly felt like being them or performing with them. I've felt like this a lot. There are many instances where I just get a sudden urge to look more masculine, or androgynous. This state sometimes stretches out for a week or two. Experiences like this have been a thing for me since childhood and finally today at 19, I think I'm certain that I am genderfluid.

[@maribrander2631]

i'm watching this for the third time, because it just made so much sense to me, i relate SO MUCH to your experience, i spent over a year looking for someone or something i could relate to, aND THEN I FOUND YOU😭😭😭 so thank u so much for sharing ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@cerulee5179]

Omg Congrats Keara!! I am honestly so grateful for creators like you, because I, myself am struggling to figure out with my gender identity. And seeing you and others speaking so freely about something i can relate so much with, is honestly so helpful and heartwarming. Especially since, I'm in an environment that doesn't necessarily have much representation of that. thanks b

[@_alexink_1648]

I‘ve bern questioning my gender a lot over the past few months and, once again, you‘re video helped me and I really relate to your gender identity! Thank you, you‘re the best! 💜

[@rileykgardner]

Just watched this video for the first time. You are the AFAB version of me. I totally relate to every thing you are saying. It’s just that I am AMAB.

[@InfuzeDcyphR]

Same here.

[@blackcat7395]

this video is so helpful! I so relate to like trying to compare yourself to other nb ppl for example and then not being able to 100% relate. it can be hard to remember that there are many different stories and you dont have to relate to every non binary person to be valid :) hearing someone else having had this experience is really something I needed

[@rosedenali7676]

Kearaaa thank you so much for this video

[@lincymoonen228]

I love this so much 🥺 i dont relate to how you present because im way more on the masculine side, but it is really affirming to hear someone say that “fuck it, gender identity and expression are twoo different things and i can do whatever the fuck i feel like”. Thankyou 😊

[@SunIsLost]

Yay

[@lenschowbooks]

I appreciate that you made this video so so much!! It felt very validating for me because lately I have questioned my own gender identity and I relate quite a lot to your experience! I think I may fit somewhere under the demigirl part of the gender umbrella :D

[@djgooselina9684]

Sign that you're genderfluid: watching this video and thinking all of it is just a normal part of being a "woman" that everyone else experiences but no one talks about.

[@afterg1ow]

school is important but keara is more important

[@jennsumbera6435]

BESTIE YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE :,) I AM SO SO SO SO SO PROUD OF YOUU IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM- UGH I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY !! THANK YOU FOR SHARING, THATS SO BIG!!

[@madijennings7396]

As a demigirl, I relate to all of this so much! I use she/they pronouns, but I prefer they/them most of the time (or for people to use them interchangeably). There are some days where I feel more "feminine" (as I describe it) and I feel like being more "androgynous" on my most dysphoric days. This video was nice to see!

[@KearaGraves]

sounds exactly like my situation! thanks for sharing❤️ i'm so glad you could relate :)

[@poolboyatvampiremansion]

I started questioning my gender around the same time as you. I after a lot of thought, I realized that I am agender and prefer they/them pronouns! Watching some of your videos helped me realize some thing about myself! Thank you for being you and helping me through a really tough and confusing time in my life! And saying there isn't one way to be nonbinary!! I still wear "fem" clothes sometimes and makeup on the rare occasion, and I do want to get top surgery. There are SO many ways to be nonbinary and genderfluid

[@thelocalchaoticgood6146]

eyyy fellow genderfluid/nonbinary bestie ✌️congrats on finding urself keara 💖

[@Aaron.T_82816]

So glad that I found your channel! I watch most of your videos all the time, and you really brighten my day!

[@__amberxmarie__]

I had the same feelings about the label of demigirl!! I actually stopped using pansexual several years ago for the same reason of not wanting to explain myself, and bisexual also felt comfy. Thank you for being a positive representation for sexuality and gender diversity!! 💜💜

[@leolovsen1448]

Aaaaaa Keara I'm so happy for you!!❤ finally a fellow genderfluid person😍 I have non-binary friends that present ~feminine~ and I can imagine that it's not easy being called the right pronoun when presentation and gender is thought to go hand. But as you said: IT DOESN'T!!! You can be a man and present femme, you can be non-binary and present feminine etc! Thank you for sharing❤❤❤

[@tesz_]

thank you so much for this Keara, this has helped me so much!! Before I watched this, I hadn't really questioned my gender but now realising that I'm relating so much to your own experiences, now all the dots are connected and I just feel really comforted, no longer feeling like I'm missing a part of my 'identity'. thank you- ur amazing

[@theresapagliarini4965]

hello dear quing, I’m honestly so happy I found your channel all those years ago when we were both still identifying with being bisexual cis women to come to this point where it seems we’ve gone through the same process of coming out all over again to now identify as pansexual genderfluid humans using she/they pronouns. I feel like you’ve been with me in all of these changes! Thanks so much for sharing your story

[@garrettlauderbaugh312]

I love Keara’s new outfit, she really rocks it! I hope they do a fit check!

[@Kiterpuss]

Afab, Taurus, genderfluid, pansexual, sapphic, shag hair, brimmed hat, likes some femme things, doesn't need top surgery, "the genderless soul"... are we the same person wtf Also, my favorite thing when I'm upset by bigots is to remind myself that nobody can be attracted to me and be straight. So take that, cat callers.

[@cowboylikeana]

ahhh i love you! i’m excited to hear your story :)

[@nataliessoul3375]

Proud of you Keara!!! ❤💅🏼

[@BloodSweetie]

Thank you for making this video it was really validating, my gender feels the same way and I've never had the words for it. I thought I may be a demi-girl, bi-gender, then a-gender, after that I was like ooooooh, gender fluid, that makes sense. I started keeping track on a scale just like the one you showed. Each day I'd put a dot where I felt like my gender identity was that day or more than one dot if it moved during the day. I always lands in that circled area you have on yours. I've experienced not wanting my boobs to the point I had thought I might be transgender some days. Dresses sometimes being like 'yaaaaaas' and other days being like 'why do I own this?'. It's such a hard thing to explain especially to people who have never questioned their gender and feel secure in their gender given at birth. Again, THANK YOU!!

[@RowanShard]

I am also nonbinary/genderfluid. I had wanted a pixie cut for years before I finally did it a few months ago. There are a few days when I want longer hair, but I cannot tell you how gender-affirming it was when I cut my hair. On more feminine days, I go hyper-feminine with my clothes and the haircut still feels gender-affirming. Then, on more agender/masculine/other days, it makes so much of a difference in how I feel! Obviously, do whatever is going to feel comfortable for you, but I figured I would share my experience because it might be helpful to hear from others who have gone through with it. :)

[@smileyface702]

Interesting. Happy that you are more comfortable with and aware of yourself! I find the idea of questioning my own gender quite scary.

[@Beyondthebinarybrain]

I'm genderfluid and this representation means so much to me!!! Thank you so much ily

[@emmarenee6284]

thank you for posting this 🥺 i loved your take and i resonate so much with your journey!!

[@JessicaKent]

💚💚💚💚💚

[@neuroqueerjester]

omg Jess?

[@KearaGraves]

AW HEYYY🌈❤️

[@_aconite_cj_]

XD HELLO JESS

[@karenjahn9600]

Hi Jessica :-)

[@shadowcat6832]

Omg Jessica!

[@Val-ff6cf]

Thank you go this video, I relate to it a lot as to how I found out I am girlflux! Love you lots!! As a kid I always found it weird how things were gendered. It made me feel restricted to what I could do and what I could not do. Why couldn’t it just be something that PEOPLE like to do. I felt grossed out at times when everyone would refer to me as she/her, its just felt “Wrong” to me. There were days that I just felt like a person with my gender floating somewhere. This year I felt like I could really be open to researching about these genders amd see which fits me. Im happy that I can have a lable that fits me, Im glad you found what makes you feel like yourself!!

[@anniewilliamsssss]

You were literally describing how I feel in the gender world and so this really helped me :) thankyouuuuuu

[@rheashin3201]

your videos are seriously so helpful and insightful, thank you for making them :)

[@evieeleanor1]

Genderfluid and Pansexual gang!! I love seeing this representation :))

[@melinaminich983]

Thank you so much for making this video and explaining this to me! The other day I saw that my girlfriend of six months had a they/them pin and I asked her about it and she said that they identify as she/they. They also identify as "masc" in the wlw community. So I was asking her to elaborate on it further and they said that they didn't want to like change genitalia or anything, they just didn't want to always be seen as a woman. They also fall in almost the same area as you! Like she said that in some shirts she wished that her chest was more flat so that the shirt would lay better. They even said they want to keep their breasts but get a binder to wear on some days. I'm gonna do my best to call her they/them as well and not just she/her. It'll take some getting used to. Just because I've used she/her for the last six months. However its a little easier for me to understand and doesn't change my attraction, if anything it makes it stronger that they are being their authentic self! And I'm also pansexual so I told them in the very beginning that I love them for them and will love them unconditionally, so even if they're gender or pronouns change over time I will love them just the same because its still the same person and same soul inside

[@bandallitworm7068]

Applause 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 For Our genderfluid pansexual quing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@mylacollins9473]

That was a great video! I liked how you drew your spectrum if that makes sense. Also your eyeliner is AMAZING.

[@czerkitka141]

It’s actually so sad Someone tell this woman that just because she calls herself genderfluid doesn’t mean her gender is fluid, she just likes masculine and feminine things as a woman? And there isn’t anything wrong with that?

[@hugegander9477]

KEARA WHAT A LOVELY VIDEO!! please i'm so happy for u, love to see more videos about u just talking bout what ur comfortable with. It was awesome listening to you a fellow pansexual and taurus (and maybe nb, idk jsdskjd) THANK YOU, loads of love. also ur rocking that outfit

[@mcblingmermaid2000]

EARLYYY AND I'M ALSO GENDERFLUID!!!

[@cassv5619]

8 minutes in and your explaining exactly to a letter what I'm feeling, even the graph YOU drew is me ..... Wtf hi 💖

[@lesbianlunatic2978]

so with my gender identity, they/them feels the most comfy, but I don’t really mind if people use other pronouns? and I honestly am struggling with like ‘do I feel more comfortable dressing feminine because that’s what I personally enjoy, or is it just because that’s what everyone else is wearing, that’s how society wants me to dress?’ …if that makes sense. and I also feel sooooo happy when I’m wearing more masculine/androgynous clothing so yep. I know that the way you dress doesn’t define your gender, but I feel happier when I’m not dressing feminine, and when people call me they/them. so yep idk edit: so I’ve had a bit of a think on it and I’ve decided that ‘I’m more comfortable in more masculine clothing, but more confident in feminine’ and it’s just because I feel confident when people don’t have a reason to judge me lol ✌️

[@hiraeth7316]

me too. im still in the closet to my family but yes I relate with you. I identify myself as non binary-agender. But there are times when I look into what the society describes as feminine clothes. and most of the times I want androgynous clothes but the only clothes I have are feminine coz well in still dependant on my parents and they have no idea about my gender. And i wonder if I look into feminine clothes because I personally like them? Or it's because my parents won't let me have it the other way round? So I myself am very confused

[@jjgbf]

Same about not sure if wanting to wear feminine clothes is actually my own thoughts or just mimicing other people

[@annikake6568]

Omg this helps so much with my gender crisis cause a lot of things you addressed feel so similar to my experience, so thanks for talking about it ✨

[@lexo3121]

I'm so confused. So, you didn't relate to stereotypes of womanhood or like being treated misogynistically, I get that. I don't understand the step to non-binary though? Does't being uncomfortable with gender stereotypes mean that the stereotypes are bs to begin with? It feels like by saying you don't like the stereotypes so you're non-binary is validating the stereotypes. It feels like it's saying that the stereotypes themselves are fine to exist, but you don't want to be oppressed by them. Shouldn't we get rid of the stereotypes instead? Can't we just be women who don't conform to stereotypes?

[@vertov76]

I identify as he/they and I was literally finishing your sentences out loud for you in the first two minutes - this resonated so much. Love this video and thanks so much for helping normalize gender fluidity! :)

[@bellamarianna3882]

recently i've been feeling more connected to she/they pronouns and i wasn't really sure why or what i was feeling so this was helpful :))) i hope i have the confidence to change them one day! thanks keara x

[@slimshady3403]

Hey, um you probably get this a lot but I think you’re really pretty 💕

[@bellamarianna3882]

@@slimshady3403 omg thank you that means so much

[@slimshady3403]

@@bellamarianna3882 bahaha wait what, I was just speaking the truth 🙂😌

[@averylaplante9651]

Thank you so, so much for doing this! You have no idea how much this has helped me! I am questioning my identity, but my thoughts tend to get pushed to the side because of how busy I am. I am worried because I don't feel like the people around me would understand or be excepting. I just have a desire to be completely unrecognizable and change my appearance, but I don't know how, or what this would mean for me. This video gives me hope for a better future! ♥️

[@free2binnh]

Your so wonderful, I am GF and everything you say resonates with me. GF can change at a moments notice. I try to dress in a more neutral fashion, t-shirt and neutral pants/shorts, I like more flamboyant colors, etc., but not too much so. In the winter, I tend to wear tights with shorts over them. Took me forever to figure out what was going on. Don't expect non GF people to understand, so I mostly dress male, with some feminine attributes. I don't like the pronoun thing, so call me whatever floats your boat. I am much older than you, my parents tried to suppress things they saw as outside the box. What ended up being was that I became more of a loner with very little family contact which allowed me to be more me. 🏳️‍🌈⚧🧙‍♂️✌❤💨

[@iamwilson12]

💖💖💖💖