HOW I OVERCAME AN EATING DISORDER

[@natachaoceane]

This was quite personal for me to share but a lot of you have asked me to post this so here it is! There’s no step by step guide on how to recover from an ED but for me it was all about finding the root cause (my black and white thinking) and working on fixing that and educating myself. The rest followed as a result (: Love you all xx

[@sophiebryant2411]

thank you for being so honest with us, it's amazing how genuine you are

[@dimicharalampidou3114]

Unfortunately I'm a binge eater as well and I'm on the stage where I'm getting help and starting to realise that there are other ways of looking nice other than being thin... I'm still fighting with my disorder and I haven't figured out how to win completely but you have been a huge inspiration even before I knew you had the same disorder... now I see that I might actually have a chance of succeeding :)

[@mariezgheib266]

Natacha Océane , I am eating healthy and working out but cant lose weight can you give me some tips please I really need your advice

[@juliab4580]

check your thyroid hormones!

[@dimicharalampidou3114]

I agree with Julia B, check your thyroid but also if you do have the economic ability, perhaps try going to a nutritionist for some time, perhaps they will be able to figure out what kinds of food and macros fit your body in order to lose weight :)

[@Jodiebirdinabocks]

Wow isn't that crazy - how one little comment by a friend can trigger such a psychological reaction in a young, vulnerable person! I'm glad Instagram and its whole subculture wasn't around until I finished high school. I'm not sure how I would have handled it as I already hated my body without perfect girls scrolling down my newsfeed 24/7 to compare myself to! My view on bodies has (thankfully) certainly changed since, and I love my own and everyone else's!

[@natachaoceane]

Such a lovely comment and I 100% agree Jodie, IG was around in my last year at school but was very new and I never used it but I think I would be so much worse if I had. I'm really happy that you're loving your own skin and other's too, I feel the same as you and see so much more beauty now than I ever did! xxx

[@Thefitty]

Anyone here struggle with food addiction and binge/emotional eating?

[@justmetv6725]

theFitty Yes me, I have been struggling with my disorder for over ten years now. I'm not overweight, but my eating is definitely an issue

[@annibanani5989]

theFitty yes 😒

[@aisampir5979]

I am struggle wiht binge eating now. i have anorexia but suddenly it change to binge, i am not overweight. now, i try to overcome it and get my period and hair loss back. please pray for me:)

[@Thefitty]

That sucks :/ what remedies have you tried? Any support systems?

[@Thefitty]

You're totally not alone on that!

[@saraha8022]

You are honestly such an inspiration to me. I have been through a transformation myself I went from a size 16US to a size 6US in 8 months, I had lost 40lbs and everyone was telling me how good I looked but they didn't know the sad reality. I was purging 2 out of 3 meals a day, over working out, I was on a low carb diet, and my parents said that I looked dead. Like I was SO pale and had no energy, it got to the point where my own mother had to hand feed her 17 year old daughter 2 crackers and cheese because I hadn't eaten in 2 days and I was crying my eyes out while she was feeding me. I am now 19, a size 8US working hard to become a strong, radiant and empowering woman (such as yourself) and I want to thank you for that. Your videos are my go to if I need advice or a meal plan or just anything! I hope that I can meet you one day and thank you for what you've done for me. Keep helping and inspiring people, you have a gift. Love Meg xoxo

[@toobossforchuck]

Crying reading this, I hope you are doing well now! Eating disorders really are horrible to go through and I am so proud of you for getting through it and I hope your recovery goes/has gone well!

[@beatrizsimoes7581]

I lost 45kg with anorexia nervosa before I found weight lifting. I'm now at a healthy 1.73m and 61 kg, looking forward to gain more and more muscle mass. Thank you for being wonderful, Nat. ❤️

[@helenkrein1803]

Beatriz Simões it’s 3 years late but I hope you’ve accomplished your goals :)

[@loveyourself5837]

I'm recovering from anorexia... this video made me cry but it was so nice to hear how you dealt with it!

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you Swarna, proud of you for starting recovery (: keep at it xxx

[@isobelb8236]

I am literally stuck in that first cycle you described some days I go to the gym and eat 800 calories other days I sit at home and cry and stuff my face untill I'm sick and I have tried so hard to stop but I just can't and I have lost no weight. You're video inspire me so much to try and change and I really really want to it's just easier said than done love you Natasha xx

[@LeAndreeaS]

Gemma Cameron You're eating way to less...so if you're doing this for quite some time now, your body is in the "flight or fight" mode. It's actually a lot harder to lose weight in this state, by eating this little (your body holds on to every calorie ingested just to keep you alive), compared to eating aproximately 500 kcal more ( body receives the signal that you are well fed and starts the fat burning process). I've been where you are, and it might be surprising that eating more can lead you to greater fat loss, but it worked for me. You can do it! P. S: I'm a medical student..😊" let's put the science back in strength"

[@natachaoceane]

Ahh yes, it definitely isn't easy. My way of thinking so rigidly was engrained in me since the age of 10, so it was hard to accept a lot of truths that I'd ignored for a decade. But the first step for me was recognising and acknowledging that I wasn't behaving normally around food or towards myself. You just have to work hard on it every day and not feel embarrassed about talking it through with someone you feel comfortable around. But I believe in you Gemma, it will take time, but you can do it xxxx

[@isobelb8236]

Andreea S. wow yes I understand what your saying I suppose it's just hard for me to comprehend in my mind that maybe eating more is the way to go but I really want to get better thanks for your advice xx

[@isobelb8236]

Natacha Océane wow thank you so much for replying I literally love your channel so much and kind of freaking out right now that you responded, I try and remind myself that other people have been in the place that I was in and have managed to get better for example you and I really want to change my mindset from trying to get skinny to trying to be healthy and fit and your videos really help me with this your such a positive role model and inspiration xx

[@natachaoceane]

Aww thank you Gemma! If you want to change your mindset you will, it will just take time (: I hope my channel can help you through your journey xxx

[@laneyandmammie9558]

hello everyone ! this isn't mentioned a lot but also over-excessive working out or exercising is a ed as well. I have a very unhealthy realtionship with exercise overall but tonight I'm not gonna exercise and I will give myself a break! I hope everyone will feel better if they are struggling with an ed just remember you ARE loved and you ARE beautiful 💗💕

[@riddhidugar867]

Thank you, I am crying right now and don't know what I have to do honestly. Could you please advise me

[@kimora69]

orthorexia

[@Moon_Puff]

I hope you're doing better! And hopefully you noticed that when you give yourself a break and proper recovery time, that you perform better the next day!

[@arroyobaby38]

I didn’t realize that I was over exercising. I wasn’t feeling quite right so I decided to completely stop and let my body tell me when it was ok to start up again…. It was 8 months before my body was asking for movement. Sort of like intuitive eating. Now when I exercise, it’s a normal amount and always something I enjoy. I DO NOT over exercise anymore. I want to feel good not horrible like I did when I over exercised.

[@shannenleong4707]

Thank you so much for posting this. This is exactly what I'm going through right now and watching this has made me feel like I'm suddenly not alone anymore. 💕

[@natachaoceane]

Aww Shannen, you're not alone xx Just keep taking it step by step, healing takes time. And don't be afraid to talk about it xxx Lots of love xx

[@JocieBishop]

0

[@joobies5388]

Woah this is crazy, i've been sufferring from an ED for 5 years but this year its gotten so much worse. I recently found your videos and they made me so happy bc you just look happy and healthy and carefree. Especially your cheat day videos, they make me feel like one day I will have a good relationship with food. And finding out that you had to deal with disordered eating makes me want to try harder to recover! I am seeing a dr to help me get better..I want to be genuinely happy with myself for once. I really look up to you and your videos make me smile:) so thank you♡

[@heavyhandedvlogs]

yo, this is the most relatable video I've ever seen re: eating disorders for me. You've inspired me to talk about my experiences in a video- I spoke to a friend of mine recently about my body image and she said it was odd that i was a guy who had these issues. You're so freakin' great- thanks for making this :)

[@GoGreenGoLean]

love love love your channel and the fact that you're from England makes me feel so at home when watching your vids!

[@natachaoceane]

Aww thank you Susana! Hats off to you studying at ICL and making time for youtube videos! Something my supervisors never understood lol!

[@gretapeterson4640]

This video has changed the way I veiw my weight/body. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this video! Love your content, and your information. You're so positive and loving!!❤️

[@prabhjotkaur11111]

Believe me, changing your mindset from working out to look good to working out to perform better, is a life changing advice.. this mindset gonna take your fitness journey to a different level and you always gonna stay motivated and enjoy your workout ! Lots of love to everyone out there who are putting their best efforts to change their life.

[@JackBegotti]

So basically you just transfer your mentality from looking better than performing better or getting stronger

[@prabhjotkaur11111]

@@JackBegotti I basically keep my mentality to do the workout i enjoy (i enjoy resistance training and not cardio so i simply avoid cardio) . The idea of performing well and feeling strong goes along, it becomes something inevitable.

[@michella23498]

I love this video so much. I’ve struggled with anorexia/BED throughout high school until now and I didn’t really know I had a problem. I was naturally skinny all through high school but I didn’t realize.. then I graduated and could eat whatever I wanted and gained 30 pounds. Now I’m a month into working out and eating healthier, and I feel so much better about myself already! A big part of it is thanks to you xx

[@princekiki33]

I think you are really really brave. I also struggled with an eating disorder as a guy it isnt as common as with girls but it definetly changes your life. I watch alot of youtube videos and ive never subscribed to any channel until now, you deserve alot more subscribers, keep up the good work!!!

[@miepje998]

So good that someone talks about it. There are a lot of people who are afraid to talk about it and hearing the stories of other people kinda feels like you're not alone

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you Milena. I think it's easy to avoid this kind of conversation, because people who don't relate find it hard to put themselves in that situation. But I'm glad it helps people feel less alone, for me, that's the point of social media xxx

[@jaidenhart1870]

3 years late to this video 💁🏼‍♀️ your channel is honestly the most inspiring one I've found. I'm currently struggling with an eating disorder and this makes me want to recover!

[@snem9381]

I've had a very similar experience to her. Stuck in B/P cycles, it got really bad. I have recovered, and sometimes I still have negative thoughts. It is possible, and I made a homemade pizza and LOVED it and loved myself today. I believe in you, you are so much more than the ED. The energy you will have is insane!!

[@ihssmr5260]

@@snem9381 how did you recovery, and how did you have a good relationship with food, and still have a healthy weight 💙💙

[@snem9381]

@@ihssmr5260 i slowly reduced the amount of times I B/P'd in a day. For example, I started the year doing it X times per day. For a month I would do it one less time, and one less the next month. Eventually it was once every other day and then every 3rd day and then once a week, tapering it down very slowly. After I stopped B/P I continued bingeing but stayed with the food in my belly - it was so hard. I also deleted anyone who made me feel bad about myself on social media - even friends. I found anti-diet culture and HAES (health at every size) and those really helped me. I really like Jennifer Rollins, no.more.guilt, your.latina.nutritionist on instagram!

[@snem9381]

@@ihssmr5260 I don't believe in standard "healthy" weights. As an ED survivor, my "healthy weight" is whatever my body weighs when I'm happy and not restricting. There are some things that I do to mind my mental health, like refuse to be weighed at doctors or leave the room immediately when people talk about diets.

[@snem9381]

@@ihssmr5260 I did all this because the girl that I used to fuel my ED finally got to my "dream" weight - and then died of heart failure.

[@sofiahernandes5272]

thank you so much for being open and honest about your experiences with us :) you are my favourite YT person by so so far

[@leakordasch2794]

Thank you so much ! For me you are the best youtuber! You are just so sympathic and you talk about everything so openly. You give me the feeling that I am not alone. I got some similiar problems with my eating behavior and my body! I can't look at myself without thinking how fat and ugly I am. I count calories but on the other side sometimes I stuff myself with food and feel so guilty in the next moment that I could cry. After that I exercise or run,maybe not as hard as you did but I do. My friends don't realise how much food and my body already dominate my life - I really eat less in school or in the afternoon but when I eat,I eat too much so nobody recognises my problem. Sometimes I was under 1000 calories per day just too feel better and "look better&skinnier". I can't eat something without thinking about how much calories I just ate. I see all this skinny girls in my school or on social media and can't understand why I don't look like them. This all started some months ago- I really don't know why. Before this time right now I ate what I liked to eat,most of the time healthy but also unhealthy thing but I didn't care. Now it's just important for me that I plan my food and exercises for the next days and be sure that I don't eat too much calories! I only watch youtube videos about food or workouts or google how much calories my meals have ! If someone asks me I wouldn't say that I have a eating disorder but I know that I have a problem! But your videos are just so motivating and helpful! You are a beautiful woman! So just keep going!

[@jankalovering6408]

your videos have inspired me so much to change up my workout routines so that I'm focusing on fun, performance, and creativity instead of the mundane dumbbell or cardio routines. thank you thank you thank you for being so real and honest and just a joy to watch! I'm so excited to see how my newfound/rediscovered joy of playing around and being fit progresses this year. and thank you for sharing your tips and journey as well. such a pleasure to watch!

[@apurvaarora1781]

I can't even imagine how much courage it took for you to share this with everyone.. I want to give you a massive hug and thank you 🤗💖

[@evikee8951]

I am so thankfull for this video.. I have had an eating disorder for 5 years and I have been admitted to a lot of hospitals and clinics and right now I am recovered from my anorexia. I am eating healthy and working out but mostly loving myself and my body. I watch SO much videos of you and you are so inspiring thank you!!

[@1ccassels]

I LOVEEE THIS! I went through anorexia to binge eating disorder and very slowly making it back to normality! I love your videos as you are always so positive and have a great relationship with food. Well done for being where you are today, you are such a strong and pretty young lady :) xx

[@ligiasaravia9990]

I'm on a weight loss journey, I'm 50 lbs from being a healthy weight. I did a low carb/ keto diet and these past two months I've been binging like crazy. It sucks because I feel bloated and ugly. I want to give up, but I'm so close it just sucks to have trained my mind to think carbs are bad. Whenever my caloric intake is above the 1k I freak out and try to eat less the next day and that causes me to binge. I'm trying to get better and hearing your story makes me want to push and keep going. Thank you all the love xx

[@ajlas1964]

You got this girl 💪🏼

[@natachaoceane]

Hey Ligia. Retraining your mind to think differently is difficult but you got this. Look around at people who inspire you who do eat carbs and that can help you realise that they're not bad for you at all (: Also look at people who inspire you who eat over 2000kcal without binging and who are slim. These people are living proof that you will be able to achieve that too (: Like Ajla said, you got this xxx

[@nternetrat]

how are you now? :)

[@kathleendowner6506]

Try tabithas farriar

[@KarinaM320]

I honestly have never stumbled upon a KZbinr who has been so relatable. I am currently overcoming the same eating disorder and have tried all the same diets and eating regimens as you stated. To hear your story and see your mental and physical improvement is so inspiring. Thank you for this.

[@snowpandalovemusic]

You may never see this comment, but I just wanted to say thank you because I found your channel only a week ago and you are changing my life, my emotions, and my perspective.

[@lucyburgoyne1082]

I'm recovering from anorexia and it is so nice to hear somebody I look up too talk about their struggles in the past over food.

[@rahafrahaf73886]

I get back to your videos every now and then to remind myself to trust the process ❤ Thank you , you don't know how much you're helping me .

[@natachaoceane]

+رهف Rahaf ahh this is so kind of you and I'm so glad my videos are helping (: , it does take time and a lot of work but you will get through it

[@ElliottCasey96]

This hit close to home.. Really means a lot that you shared this. Thank you Natacha you're such a beam of light💛

[@noranasef2415]

Ohh God thank you thank you for posting that video, I lost about 25 kilos after getting dumped and treated like trash by someone who wasn't comfortable being around someone my size *being 78 kilos the time*. I have been through all sorts of phases with my body and eating disorders, until I came across your videos and I swear to god you have helped me develop a nice image of myself and my body. I started weight training and started eating more starting going out more, smiling to myself in the mirror. it is all in our head truly. thank you again :)

[@tatianacarr9589]

I can relate to this story so much. I joined my schools xc team and was running 3-5 miles a day while restricting my calories to about 1600 per day. after a bit i couldn't perform and bumped my calories to about 1800-1900, and developed hyperthyroidism. my body had gotten so used to low calorie and intense training that it didn't know how to process the extra calories and my metabolism skyrocketed. rather than burning fat though, i lost most of the muscle tone i had built and my hair started falling out in clumps. i developed a knee problem from excessive running and began weight lifting. since i quit running and began to lift and bumped my calories i feel better than ever and can't wait to improve my performance. love u natacha

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you for sharing Tatiana. I'm sorry to hear your struggles. XC is hard because coaches are always telling us to be in 'running weight' to be able to run faster but eventually, like you said, performance drops and injuries occur and some coaches don't realise the impact this has on young girls that can carry on way past their competing days. I'm glad you've found a training method that is working for you as well as eating to keep you performing though! I'm really happy for you and you will get stronger and stronger!! xxx

[@casy6203]

Tatiana Carr did your hair grow back?

[@arielthescott]

Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I've been battling negative obsession with my body for years and now I'm also dealing with guilt about eating certain foods or amounts. Your video practically brought my to tears. It's very difficult to curb tendencies to obsess over these things for me, especially because I'm a dancer and I perform on stage. It's difficult when you feel that there is a specific way your body should look to be acceptable or true to your craft. I don't think I actually restrict myself that much, but then there are times that I don't eat much, even in weeks that are full of rehearsals. Then I feel like sometimes on the weekends or at night I end up eating the world. Thank you for making this video, I really connected with it and I'm inspired by it.

[@shelb1727]

Very much an inspiration. I still struggle everyday not to go back to that dark place but I know I don't ever want to again. My body doesn't deserve it to be treated that way. Thanks for sharing this!

[@gaiaformentin7394]

the first time i conciously fasted to loose weight i was 9. I'm almost 20 now and still struggle with anorexia, but recently things seem to be getting better

[@palleberry572]

I am so glad you decided to share your story with us! I think this is a big step. I have anorexia since two and a half years and I didn't talk about it with anyone I really would just pretend everything is fine even though you could really see that it was not. I'm really trying hard to get better now and I'm getting help too but if I hadn't told anybody I don't know where I would stand now. People like you inspire me honestly you just made my day much better❤

[@lucybanks4111]

Honestly ever since i found you channel you have inspired me and now you have made this video i believe that i can get out of the current situation i am in. i have had an eating disorder for over a year now but only got help and opened up 2 week ago. Since those two week i feel like i have been getting my life back, i have been out for lunch 3 times which before would be terrifing and i am actually enjoying food again. Even though it does get hard at times i remind myself of people like you who have overcome eating disorders and regained the joy in their lives. Thankyou for sharing you story and inspiring me to get better. xx

[@howoddmerekat]

thank you for this video. just, thank you. your channel has pushed me to re-evaluate my relationship to my body, my training, and the food i eat. i couldn't be more thankful for your inspiration.

[@ameliapriest9724]

Hey Natacha, I love your videos so so so much. I've been struggling with food and diet and exercise for a very long time. Over the summer, I did relentless amounts of cardio and cutting in order to achieve this 'Perfect' skinny look that I have built up in my head that I need. I am still growing, I am still learning how to get out of this cycle, but watching your videos has shown me that by doing strength and resistance training I can build up my metabolism and eat more, but look so much better than how I do now (my arms are like sticks it's disgusting). You have given me the courage to begin taking on my eating disorder, because I'm going to start resistance training, which means I have to increase my calories. After being in a deficit for so long, this idea scares the living hell out of me, but you have come so far and grown so much and you have recovered so well, that you have given me the confidence to believe that maybe I can too. Food is an obsession for me - it's taken over my life. What will I eat, when will I eat? All the time I am thinking about food. What I wish I could eat, what I wish I could binge on, what foods I can fit into my calorie 'limit'. All my free time is spent browsing pictures of food on instagram, videos of calorie challenges on youtube, or just browsing recipes that I feel I could eat if the calorie count was lower. I don't know how to stop my food obsession, I am hoping that as I do resistance training and strength training, that as I up my calories and start eating carbs again (something that I have also been scared of doing), that the cravings will die out because I'm limiting myself less. I don't know if I will ever get better, I don't know if my food obsession will stop, and I don't know if resistance/strength training will help me feel happier and more satisfied with how I look, but i do know this: My obsession with food and cardio has taken my life from me. I spend so much time worrying about what I will eat or when I will eat - I won't eat the same meals as my family, won't go out with my friends. I have pushed everyone out unintentionally, because of this relationship I have built up with food. And I don't want that anymore. I don't want food to control me anymore. i want more than anything to be able to go back a year or two, when I could look at a plate and see it as tasty food, rather that seeing calories and numbers and what I am or am not allowed to eat. 2019 is the year I focus on strength training. I'm going to lift weights, and do leg and abs exercises, too. But not because I wan't to look 'good' or because I want to eat more. I want to challenge myself. I want to watch myself grow and get stronger. I want to make progress. And hopefully, everything else will just fall into place. So thank you, Natacha. Thank you for inspiring me, for showing me that there might actually be a way out of all of this. A productive way out of all of this. Thank you for showing me that a future exists. Thank you for showing me that I can have my life back, that life isn't just exercise, food, work. I'm going to try so, so, so hard. For me, for my family, for my friends. I love you Natacha, thank you.

[@nicolaallen9524]

This is so relatable. Its exactly what I have just come out of around 6 months ago. I used to do the night workouts at 3am as well when my parents were asleep and to break it I had to sleep in the same room as mum. I am so so grateful that that time has finished for you because it is horrible to continuously battle yourself! xxxx THANKS SO MUCH

[@lucyphillipson9528]

Thankyou so much for posting this, I’m so relieved to know that I’m not the only one. Watching your videos is helping me get out of this perpetual cruel cycle and this rut I’m in as I’m too embarrassed to talk about my disorder. You’re so inspirational, and beautiful now more than ever, never stop making videos! You’re the best! Thankyou tonnes & tonnes! Xxx

[@alexandragrande9663]

I'm so HAPPY you got through your eating disorder! I just want you to know that you really inspire me to get stronger and that you're my drive and motivation to push myself and become better at my workout every day!

[@JessRose96]

I really really appreciate you making this video, I understand how hard it must be, I'm recovering from an ED & honestly this just gave me another push in the right direction. You're amazing!! I love your videos xx

[@tsloggins]

Thank you so much for posting this. Your story is very similar to mine. These days I try to focus my training and eating on how i want to perform rather than how I want to look. This new mind set has helped me feel confident about what my body can do even when I'm not always impressed with how it looks.

[@Zmedra]

I commented on your last video about how you helped me recover, so I know how far you've come! Be proud of yourself, recovery isn't easy.

[@Sabziipolo]

You have inspired me so much! I have an eating disorder and every time I make myself throw up I promise myself I wouldn't do it anymore, but I do... I hope to get better soon and stop what I'm doing to my body and mental state. It gets really difficult at times... You're giving me hope :) and thanks for that :)

[@harrie4667]

currently struggling a bit with my self esteem and relationship with food, and everytime i feel like I'm having bad/self destructive thoughts i come back to natacha's videos because she makes me feel super inspired to love myself more and to heal from this situation. anyone else?

[@jocarstensen2778]

You are so inspiring and relatable. I feel like a lot of girls felt this way growing up, even from a as young as 10, I know I was/am definitely one of them. Thank you for the openness and the smiles, love your positive videos ! Thank you for sharing !

[@LeAndreeaS]

I love how your posts synchronize with my current battles. Starting my comeback after a long period of time wandering off course. I'm very fond of your rare candour. Have a pleasant week! 😊

[@itsaliceking]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have actually experienced a very similar thing, losing a bunch of weight through obsessive food behaviours and loads of exercise, just to end up with bulimia/BED... funny enough, during the time when I was severely underweight and eating clean all the time I didn't have an eating disorder! Sure, I was eating way too little and thought of carbs as a "treat" (how fucked up is that haha) but I didn't develop an eating disorder until I started binging uncontrollably. With it came weight gain, self-hatred, emotional eating... it just got worse every day. I am still in recovery and seeing how healthy and strong you are really gives me hope to keep going xx

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you for sharing Johanna! Your comment means a lot and I know you can get through this (: Lots of love xx

[@kawtharbakhach5848]

Imo the term eating disorder is so irrelevant. Any abnormal thinking pattern about food, incredibly restrictive behavior, obsessing over diet and how you look all the time, is unhealthy and absolutely not good for you! Self hatred is a horrible thing. Good luck and I hope your recovery has/is going well :)

[@rosemariemazariego4877]

Hello ❤ I just want u to know that ur videos inspire me so much I will be forever grateful for u and I hope you never stop making videos ❤

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you sweetie, I'm not planning on stopping any time soon so you'll be seeing lots more videos! xxx

[@mia-gl8ub]

I can so relate to your story....now I start stopping restricting myself, but not only for food, but also for time or priority.... after that and especially listening to my body, I feel really good, healthy and more and more confident💚 really enjoy your videos, thank you 😘

[@laluna4812]

I experienced all of these things and still am, as I am recovering from anorexia. I'm going through extreme hunger for the past 3 months, eating 8000-10000 calories every single day, feeling like my stomach is a bottomless pit. I haven't gained an enormous amount of weight(maybe due to the fact that my body uses this energy to heal itself) but my brain is feeling so much more sane. The days in not experiencing extreme hunger, I'm not thinking about food, I have picked up all my hobbies again and I can smile and be care free again!! Thank you for promoting a healthy and abundant approach to food, you're such a beautiful inspiring soul ❤😘!

[@marinacover6274]

katerina miou this comment makes me happy this is so inspiring ❤️

[@jennid2495]

How are you now? did you just eat whatever you wanted/craved the whole time? What about when you where physically full and craved something? When you were weight restored, did you still just eat everything you wanted even if it was 4000+? How long did this (extreme hunger) last? Are you maintaining now? Did you overshoot or have uneven weight distribution like to belly? Did it go away? Sorry if any of this is triggering, i just wanna know

[@reginajesztrebszki6840]

I'm currently going through the same. I started excercising and tracking everything. I binge and I feel like crap. I went through quite everything you did, in the same order... now I am at the stage when I had enough, and I just watch all of your videos because they help a lot, like I almost feel like something has changed in my mind. I know it'll be hard but I started eating more. I still fear from gaining weight or to be more specific, of gaining FAT. Although I want to be more muscular I just fear from eating which keeps me going on and on. However, I keep lifting and hope that some day I will achieve what you did. By the way, you truly are a motivation!

[@KP0719x]

I've struggled with food and sometimes I still do. I messed up my back yesterday deadlifting so I've been at home eating crap right now. Glad you came out with something like this and opening yourself up to us.

[@QueenAlicat]

This was the first video of yours I ever watched and I'm so thankful to have found you. It's been so cool watching you grow up. I love you 🫶🏻

[@Beanoidwife]

Hi Natacha! Thanks for sharing your story :) I'm trying to recover from my binge eating/bulimic disorder as well, and it just feels good to know that it is possible to get out of it. I'm doing better everyday, though I still have days where I just revert back. But what really stuck with me was what you said in another one of your videos (I think it was the post-10k challenge) to not feel guilty for eating junk food once in a while, and that really helped me to not purge out my food from time to time. Yup just wanted to tell you that you're an inspiration and you are amazing :) With love all the way from Singapore

[@juanalebrero3939]

Omg I feel super identified, thanks to your videos I feel great and I have found something that I am passionate about,weight lifting... You have got me out of the physical and psychological stagnation in which I found myself! Very grateful that there are people like you keep it up Congratulations for your work❤️

[@natachaoceane]

Thank you Juana! I'm so happy you're passionate about weight lifting! Have a lovely start to the week xxx

[@epona374]

I've never thought you had suffered from ED ! I perfectly understand what you've been through all these years ! I had bulimia for 7 years when i was a teenager and i recovered 8 years ago. Fitness saved me because i realized that working out is the only way to have a great body. Dieting cannot change the shape of your body. Once i had a flat tummy i stopped bingeing and purging. Thx for sharing your history Natacha !

[@lianne2896]

I can relate so much to this... I am diagnosed with bulimia nervosa but I think that I also have orthorexia and binge eating disorder. I'm in therapy atm and it's so motivational to see this video!

[@leaperez9922]

Thank you for your video! I've dealt with anorexia for years and I find what you sayed really helpfull. You are such a strong girl!!!

[@27091985AN]

Really brave of you to do this video. It is so incredibly relatable. You are truly a wonderful person and such a great inspiration

[@MsLifesize]

I relate to this so much! Especially the part where you binged at parties partly because you wanted everyone to think you ate as much as you used to and partly because you were so starved. I was the same at that age. And not even understand that normal people don't eat that way. I also never threw up. It's crazy you literally describe my eating disorder.

[@ZiZiWaters]

Thanks Natacha for doing this video, it really is eye-opening because I'm going through that right now. I intermittent fast because I feel like I don't exercise enough because I don't have time at Uni. So i cut my hours of eating but I've been binging every weekend now and I feel so bad.

[@AmyXoXo748]

i would like to thank you immensely for posting this video. i am going through the same issues right now and noticed that our stories are quite similar. i knew i had developed anxiety towards food in college, but i couldn't put my finger on what was actually wrong with me. thank you for making me feel like i am not alone in this and that this condition is something that other people have struggled with too. i have felt so isolated in regards to my disorder because i never really knew what it was until recently seeing a specialist. this video really opened my eyes to the dangers/epidemic of eating disorders.

[@natachaoceane]

+Amy Chacona hey sweetie! I am so so happy that it can help 🤗 I promise you are so not alone in going through it, if only you knew the number of messages I get on this topic - it was such an eye opener for me. I hope you feel better every day! 😘😘

[@Charlotteway_x]

This video resonated with me like you wouldnt believe. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know first hand how hard it is to open up and talk about your problems wether they are current or in your past. I am currently battling and trying to overcome my eating disorder and body dismorphia after losing 6.5 stone. I think when you have been so large in the past (in my case anyway) it causes major anxiety at the thought of gaining weight again and for me, that has been a vicious downhill spiral, reducing my calories, over training, restricting and in turn binging then doing excessive exercise to compensate (ridiculous!!!). I am slowly trying to up my calories to fuel my training but the anxiety is the worst. I am going to Rome on Sunday with my partner and I am already having panic attacks and feelings of guilt because I know I will be indulging in pizza and ice cream... I'm trying to focus on the memories I will make instead of worrying about food. In 20 years time I will only regret if I let my food issues overtake my ability to enjoy my life. I think social media can be such a negative and dangerous place to be, especially when you are struggling with both food and/or body image. I can truthfully say that you are the ONE channel which always makes me feel better, inspired and motivated instead of making me question how I train, what I eat and make me feel even worse about myself. So thank you! You inspire me daily and I can't thank you enough for always being so knowledgable, kind and REAL!!!

[@rittasdan]

This was exactly me a few years ago! Over exercising, body image and calories took over my life and I missed out on life because of that. And having overcome that has been the best thing! I realized that in the end it was never really about the food, it was way deeper than that. And I started to work on my deeper issues that caused all of this, then my eating disorder, exercise addiction slowly went away.. Hope that helps

[@SarahMarie78]

I am in the process of gaining some personal appreciation after my eating disorder. Thank you for sharing something so close to your heart - it's driven me forward another day ❤️

[@jehanibrahim1164]

Thankyou for sharing your story it is so inspiring, this will help teenagers who are having eating disorders 😃.... I hope that there are more people like you who shares stories to help and inspire others.

[@emmawang09]

Just genuinely thank you for your sharing! I've been in the disorder phase just like you did, now it has been better indeed but I won't say it's fully recovered. Hope I will eventually be like you and have a healthy relationship with food! Thank you again! Btw, love your training clips!

[@bariglassman9595]

Wow thank you for sharing your story! It only illustrates the strength of your character. I admire the way you tackled such an incredibly difficult challenge. You are a true inspiration!

[@nataliabohorquez9219]

I like your videos a lot and how well educated you are in respect of fitness. I had an ED and it is not that my relationship with food and self-stem is 100% - it is a struggle that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life but I am OK with that, as long as I improve everyday and I do not hurt myself. BUT I see in many girls on social media who have "recovered" from EDs that have replaced their illness with an obsession for fitness, healthy eating and measuring their bodies (like taking pictures every day) - I think that is not being "recovered" - that is just replacing a substance with another but not overcoming the addiction, in this case, the several mental issues that these type of issues involve.

[@camilavivanco8882]

I was exactly like you, i was eating 1000 kcal a day and training a lot, at some point i couldn't do that anymore and thanks to you i changed, now i eat around 2200 calories or even more if i craving something and i not felling guilty. I started eating a little more every week and right now im so happy, literally you changed my life and i so thankful for that! Thanks you so much!!!

[@d26s10]

You are wonderful, thanks for sharing. I honestly think every girl who is doing fitness the 'right' way has a story from the beginning of their journey where they did it wrong. I'll put my hand up and say I was on the low carb 1200 cal a day diet whilst overly training and it led to binges on cheat days, overeating on days out with family and friends to hide that there wasn't a problem, guilt, weighing myself constantly, taking photos in the mirror and comparing every part of my body on a regular basis... And a whole lot more with hormone imbalances and hospital appointments. I really think more needs to be done with the mainstream message of cutting calories and exercising more to lose weight. You're doing a great job showing that you need to eat a lot to stay lean and strength train, no deprivation, low energy and all the other issues that come with malnourishing your body. It should be part of the school curriculum in my opinion, rather than the simple information already given that's common sense really..I.e. Eat more fruit and veg and less junk. That's what's going to save the young generation, learning about the food groups and how they affect digestion, fullness and the absorption of nutrients. Not just 'get off your computer and go outside and stop drinking fizzy drinks.' Obesity is one of the biggest health problems that we can control and prevent and it's actually very easy if we are given the education on how to.

[@savannasspiritxo8175]

I'm currently trying to recover from an eating disorder. I really value Your honesty in this video. Thank you for sharing this❤️

[@KawaiiLilykitty]

This gives me hope. I have been struggling immensely lately. In January of this year I decided it was time to get in shape. For about a month and a half I refused to eat anything "bad" and I exercised almost every day. I went from around 155-160 to 140-145 (I am only 5'1 so this weight is a lot for me). I felt so happy with my weight loss, but in March I began to break. I had lots of stress with school and began eating "bad" foods to comfort myself, which I then felt guilty for. So I'd throw it up. It became a cycle, every day I'd only think about food, what I was going to eat next, all day. When I got home from school I'd binge thousands of calories, then purge. This happened almost every day from March to May. I am slowly getting myself out of this cycle, I have barely purged lately, however I gained back all the weight I lost in February and I desperately hate my body. I know what I need to do but it's like I cant bring myself to.

[@elliehovell9793]

Hi Natasha, I’ve watched everyone one of your videos and think they’re amazing! I currently recovering from my eating disorder and this video has made me open my mind even further. Thank you! In the future im hoping to start gaining muscle, as like you, i thought to look good you had to be skinny, however my view has changed massively! Your words have helped reinforce my thoughts, so thank you! x

[@linfcitxnk]

i've anorexia nervosa, i'm going through this like a year now and you just made me feel like i am not alone, so thank u...you're like my supergirl. Greetings from Argentina.

[@natachaoceane]

+Miss Unicorn of course you're not alone! I'm right here and I have felt similar feelings and I understand how it can hurt. I really hope this video helped, even if just a little bit! Lots of love from London! 😘😘

[@juliaamore8351]

Thank you so much for sharing so honestly and giving someone who totally understands and can relate in every way positivity and hope ☺️❤️ I've very recently started weight lifting and eating to fuel my body rather than punish it. It's very hard, but I know I'll overcome fully and each day gets a bit brighter. You are such a light, thank you so so much!

[@miarobbins8127]

I have lost 40 pounds in a matter of 3-4 months & it's in a very unhealthy way. I workout everyday & I am starting to see abs but I get to where I only eat a apple a day! Very very very unhealthy.. I'm so terrified of gaining my weight back that I think that everything I put in my body will make me fat. I actually fainted yesterday from not getting enough food into my system. I really need help & I don't even know where to start.😫

[@natachaoceane]

+Mia Robbins hey Mia. Thanks for sharing your story, I think it's important for you to speak to a doctor about this but it is important that you start eating some more because your body will start to shut down sweetie xx I don't know what your current body composition is like or what your blood profile is so I can't say any more as I'm not a qualified doctor but do speak to a doctor to find out what is best for you (: I don't know if you like how I look but I eat a lot of food and don't gain fat from it because I train to build muscle so even though I weigh more I fit into all the same clothes I did before xxxx

[@jennaeckhart1849]

Mia Robbins, I know this is a year late, but I hope you have found a more healthy way of living. There is so much pressuring coming in from the outside to look a certain way, and I think Natacha seems to have tried every diet imaginable and has found a really beautiful way to live life that includes eating lots of nourishing foods and also exercising in a way that is healthy and fun for her! While I have not struggled in the same way you have, I have found Natacha’s channel to be a saving grace for me...she is just ONE example of how you can live a healthy lifestyle AND look the way you want to look (and hopefully feel, too 😊). I know you may not see this, so I am sending very positive vibes to wherever you are in the universe!

[@niamhclarkson1347]

Mia Robbins I know this is 2 years on but I truly hope you managed to get help, I know its hard I myself have had anorexia since the age of 15 but you cannot let it grip you watching Natasha has actually helped me food is fuel !

[@Moon_Puff]

Mia Robbins, I know this is 3 years out, but I hope you're in a better place! When you see your body as a partner rather than enemy, it's amazing the goals you can accomplish together when your body is strong and fueled!

[@crazyshowjumper28]

Thank you for sharing this Natacha, I have heard many peoples fitness journey's, but yours is the only one that mirrors mine identically. It's so inspiring to see someone has been able to come out of it like you have, at 22 and after 5 years of dieting its only in the last year I have realised my problem! but you have helped me so much this last year. keep doing what you're doing!x

[@ramonadalmas8002]

I am recovering from anorexia and I am trying to change the way I see things and my body ... This video is amazing..You really inspired me thank you! love from Italy

[@louisedeakin4357]

WOW!! I honestly can't thank you enough for this video. I am currently recovering from a ED myself, and slowly increasing calories and different food types ( i had the black and white mindset too) and even though I have my down days, i feel so much stronger in the gym and I know that once my body gets used to the calories and macros that my weight will even out and proportion it self like it was. Thank you for making me realise there is alot more to training than being skinny

[@xMariekeMusic]

Hey I'm so happy for you you overcame your ED and are able to enjoy what you're doing! I just want you to know that you're a very strong person, not only in a physical way but also your personality. You're my greatest YT inspiration so keep up what you're doing :D

[@shelbyorr7187]

Damn, I didn't really think I had a problem but I've been doing this same thing for the past two years and the binge eating just gets continually worse. Thank you for sharing this. Very inspiring and definitely a wake up call for me.

[@madi972100]

Omg, this is 100% me. I used to restrcit so bad and binge so bad then feel so bad I will not wish this to my worst enemies. I never purge neither but exercise SO MUCH like, thinking about it know, the mind is so so so powerful it's scary. Thank you for putting words on my disorders (anorexia but also binging, non-purging bulimia, exercise addiction and body dysmorphia). What saved me is veganism. I learned to respect and love others and love myself enough to live a healthy lifestyle, body and mind; showing that you can be a healthy and happy vegan and I've gain all the weight I had to and began exercising correctly and gain muscle. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@rebeccanicholls891]

I keep watching this video because this literally is like looking in the mirror. I think exactly the same as how you did as I still do. Thank you for making this video, I just hope I can be as strong willed and power through just like you. Your amazing Natascha. 💗

[@sylwiap361]

I had struggled with eating disorder as well. Now i'm in love with powerlifting :) You're such an inspiration! I love your smile and positive attitude. Looking forward your next video :D

[@elisabethhenssler8706]

Thank you for sharing this. Where you were before is exactly where I am now. You give me hope that things will change.

[@leahannafit14]

i recently use to eat 800-1000 calories a day and train to burn 600-800 calories a day. i have started to incorporate more healthy food into my diet and i’m slowly working myself back up to a normal diet. thanks to you, i have identified my problems and your message has really gotten through to me. so thank you!

[@Angela-uw5tu]

Thanks for this, I can relate to a lot of what you said, tbh in general everything you say in your videos has so much truth in it, you really are a special person and have such great energy. All the best!

[@hectorandres576]

You have seriously become one of my favorite youtubers! You rock Natacha!

[@ksormon1]

Thank you for your video, Natacha, you're always very kind and inspiring. Okay so this isnt going anywhere, i just never shared "my story" before, and i feel now it's the right time. I struggled with anorexia and then binge eating/bulimia around 5 years ago. To overcome my problems with food, body image and the depression and self hate that came with it was probably the hardest thing i ever had to do in my whole life. For 2 years i've been training with respect and mostly love to myself and this spring i thought that im finally ready to cut a little bit, I felt like I desirve to look athletic, because no matter how hard i trained without diet i still carry 3-4 extra kilos on my body. It just has to do with food. From week one of my cut i started binging again. I havent done it in years, but since the minute i started a slight cut, it just happens. I'm very uncertain of what i have to do now. Are my calories too low? Am I just not mentally ready to do this again? I don't want to give up yet, it may be all the stress of being a beginner in counting macros or not being able to eat something until it's "the right time", aka my planned "cheat" meal on sundays. Or maybe what i call a binge is something that most dieters go through, but because they're mostly on a deficit, they manage to still lose the weight? Im scared but if there's one thing i know, it's that im not gonna hate myself again. Not now and not ever. Im just confused and thinking about it makes me sad. For anyone who read this - hope you have a great day!

[@that_dragon_artist]

The part about not having the energy to compete in your sports, and just generally sacrificing performance in order to look a certain way really resonated with me. I luckily didn’t struggle with it for too long, but for several months I was on way too few calories. I was tired and did perform my best.

[@FanGirl171]

I’ve struggled with my relationship with food for years. I’d probably say about 14 I started to develop low self esteem and unhealthy eating habits and thoughts about weight. Finally this year I am taking it seriously and have been getting treatment for the last few months for my eating disorder (binge eating disorder, orthorexia, overeating as well as serious body image issues). I’m 22 now. I’ve gained quite a lot of weight (15kg give or take) in about a year and it’s just really hard sometimes focusing on recovery when I still don’t want to look like this at the end of the journey 😭🙈 It’s honestly been so hard and this video is so inspiring and moving because it just reminded me how I’m not alone and that I can get through this if you have and so many others have. ❤️❤️ thank you so much Natacha xxx

[@hanzib31]

thank you for this!! ive commented on how incredibly positive and wonderful I find your videos...but this one is particularly great! i have bulimia and im working on recovering atm. I have a similar backstory to you and this is super helpful to listen to. thanks again for sharing this I know it is a difficult topic 😊

[@duscraftphoto]

I've lost a little over 100lbs in the past 2 years and I'm just now starting to try to "tone up" with weight training and moderate cardio. I know exactly how you feel when you talk about having body dysmorphia issues. I'm 6'2", I weigh 160lbs and I wear a small-medium shirt size... I still think I look fat. But I'm working on bulking to reverse this self image issue. I had been a skinny kid up until high school and then I ballooned up to almost 280lbs. Then in college I starved myself, worked out daily and worked hard labor all day. I lost too much weight too fast and got sick. Then I gained weight again. I found that diets just didn't work and weren't safe. So about 2 years ago I decided to make a lifestyle change and look at food and fitness differently. Now I eat only organic and nutrient rich foods that I make at home. I don't avoid food because of fear of weight gain... I avoid anything that doesn't do my body any good. I'm doing this to be healthier, happier and "lastly" look better. Anyone can change their life if they start looking at what is better for their body instead of the scale. Love your videos btw.

[@sophiebryant2411]

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!

[@cutebutpsychobutcute4648]

I was 68 kgs now I'm 49 and Im measuring everything that I eat , I do cardio everyday and Im still eating like 1500 calories a day or less and I can't stop it I just want to maintain my weight but I'm loosing weight because I feel bad when I eat more than 1500

[@LeAndreeaS]

cutebutpsychobutcute 4 Sounds familiar. I had the same problem, but i overcomed it by slighlty increasing my calories by 100 kcal/3 weeks, 'till i reached my BMR (trial and error). It' s actually impossible to gain weight if you eat up to you BMR. Especially if you're doing cardio every day... could probably eat a little past that number without seing an increase in your weight. Nothing is irreversible when it comes to losing weight, so go for those extra carbs! It'll be worth it 🙃

[@natachaoceane]

Hey hun, I know the numbers can be really difficult to not abide by. I used to be fixated on 1500kcal too but then realised that it's just a number and I'd built that number up to be so important that if I went over it is was really bad, it was a form of control for me and if I went past it I felt I'd lost control. But it all boiled down to finding my root cause which was my black and white mindset and not categorising things as strictly good or bad xxx

[@꾸꽤애애애앵꽤앵호로]

Natacha Océane umm....I feel really uncomfortable talking about this...but I am trying to recover from anorxia. I used to be 164cm 65kg. Now I am about 164cm 47kg. I used to eat 300cal aday but starting yesterday I am eating about 1000cal a day. I will go to the gym tooday and weigh myself and I am crazy scared...I don't think I can take it if my weight goes up, but I can't eat 300cal a day anymore because I am losing weight crazy fast, losing my hair and my period. I felt dizzy all the time and sick. I have to admit I feel alot better yesterday and today because I ate 1000cal, but I am just so scared. I don't know if I should keep going....will I gain weight..?

[@calicovmin]

Hello! I'm in recovery also. If you ever want to chat, let me know and I'll give you my instagram! I bet we can help eachother through it :)

[@mennagamall]

this video is absolutely amazing i had ED for a while due to all or nothing mindset,in addition i used to weigh myself every single day but at some point i realized that it was not good for me physically or mentally i stopped weighing myself at all as that number on the scale is not my concern any more i focus now on my performance during workout and my physique . of course indulging myself from now and then and enjoying it to the maximum without feeling guilty or dwelling on it especially the next day i go back to my normal eating and routine and even more fresh and energerized . i read my body now better when i'm hungry i eat without starving myself anymore .now i feel more free and happy as u mentioned in the vid it's not about being skinny it's about being more healthy and stronger. thanx for sharing ur experience i hope my english is good 😉

[@Jsteiny18]

I had the same relationship with food and it took a while to realize that I was actually doing more damage than good. I got very skinny and wasn't happy. I'm now more conscious about eating in moderation and weight training, and watching your videos have helped me regain confidence in how I look and feel

[@natachaoceane]

+Jake Steinberg hey Jake! I'm so glad you're feeling better and more happy! 💪 you've done so well to come out of that and I hope you're damn proud of it 🤗😊 xx