How Long Does a Midlife Crisis Last? Are You Wondering When It Will End?

[@LarryBilotta]

Thanks for watching! How long does a midlife crisis last? How long has your spouse or partner shown signs of midlife crisis? Let me know below and tell me what you're struggling with.👇

[@sharynwork4333]

I have no contact with my husband other than through lawyers - this in itself is a negative - it’s been over 5 years and he lives with his AP

[@LarryBilotta]

@@sharynwork4333 There have been studies done for years between two people who were separated, intimately involved and had an emotional connection with one another. In some of these tests, there were couples separated by thousands of miles. The studies demonstrated that not only could these people sense emotional changes in their significant other, but each of them were affected by changes in each other’s energy. They could sense something different when a change in the other’s emotional state occurred. When it comes to energy, there is no time and there is no space. That’s why in the studies, though thousands of miles apart, the other person in the relationship felt an emotional change at the exact same second it occurred. The majority of people don’t know anything about energy because they believe everything is physical. If they can’t see it, hear it, taste it, touch it, then it doesn’t exist. But if a surgeon cut open your body, he wouldn’t find you. He would find blood, bones and organs but he wouldn’t find your hopes, dreams and personality - in other words, he wouldn’t find YOU. Once you learn the concept of changing your internal energy, you can influence the emotional condition of the people closest to you. This is what leads to getting what you want in life and no longer being a pinball who “hopes” for change.

[@LastRebel1978]

Wow you just read my mail……..survive is where I’m at and as soon as I get some financial stability back am probably done with giving to a taker……have children who deserve my support and love and she’s been sucking my soul out for years and money. I’m tried everything twice and as you say no way to win now. Just turns it all back on me. I’ve listened to thousands of sermons and podcast and Ted talks for many years. You nailed this simple and sweet no look at me I’m a KZbin celebrity. Thank you.

[@LarryBilotta]

So sorry to hear that.

[@NateK-fi6ke]

Great info and all true! What we define in our minds as negative is presented to the outside world as against energy. The more we are against something, anything, the more we feed it and it persists. Find acceptance and peace with it inside yourself, I.e. change your own environment, and you will start to see a change reflect in the outside world.

[@kristene.8269]

Well said!

[@LarryBilotta]

Exactly. It is amazing what finding genuine peace and acceptance vs against energy can do. Do you have an example of how this concept helped you?

[@edneiakryczka4004]

Larry help me I am in such turmoil everything happened same as on your videos about midlife crises My lovely husband of 13 years left me and our daughter he is completely different person is all our fault in to his head . You took away all his youth and freedom he never loved me or never wanted a child that’s what he is saying now . He wants freedom and he changed less them 2 months after he turned 40 years old . Now is all about him he turned in to an narcissist monster !but he were the most sweet kind person in the world . And now he says “o will show to my father how to do a proper job I will break this circle “apparently his dad wanted to leave home when he was a child and he left for the kids . I didn’t know about his childhood trauma . He were always nice person wonderful husband and a incredible sweet dad . Now he is completely disconnect from us he is far away now he doesn’t show love or empathy toward us . Is hard to see all this things and believe that there’s nothing what o can do I fell hopeless . My daughter is in pain I am in pain we lost him now . Help me please !

[@LarryBilotta]

Sorry you are going through this. I know you feel hopeless right now, but there are things you can do to minimize the chaos and destruction he's causing, especially with your kids. As a starting point, I would suggest you watch this free online class on this topic to learn more: surviveamidlifecrisis.com/teleclass/

[@paulwilliams7700]

Wife of 35 years had several emotional challenges (alcholic son, aging parents one with dementia and one who has had several injuries to her hip and shoulder that required intensive care) and i am sure she got very depressed. She has since had an office affair and left the home to live with her mother. She has acted like another peerson and told me that she only has 10 good years left. I have accepted the reality and actually moved with her towards seperation and divorce. I recognize that nothing i do changes the trajectory so I will continue to work on myself and my three adult boys to build our relationships outside this tsunami with this now unrecognizable person. All she says to them is "dont you want me to be happy?" She turned 60 this year and has had some health issues herself but appears to be trying to recapture her youth. Good luck to her.

[@LarryBilotta]

Sorry to hear this, but it sounds like you're on the right track working on yourself. While midlife crisis is a process men and women need to work through, it is possible to either shorten or lengthen that process of recovery. Happiness is a key factor that women look for during a midlife crisis. When you subtly express that you support her effort to find herself and be happy, this removes the resistance and pressure of you vs. her. For example, men have had good success taking the stance of "I want you to know that I am working on myself and trying to be a better man, father and husband. I genuinely want you to be happy and I'm here if you need me."

[@Yah_ThatsMe]

Larry, “machine gun” JD here. I hope you are well. So wife has taken daughter over seas and haven’t seen her in over a year, not even a photograph of my baby girl. I don’t know what else to do as I’m stuck in this nightmare on elm street with a key stuck in a clock on a shaky elevator. We haven’t even finalized the divorce. I mean even if I wanted to start dating again I don’t think it would be right as she left in the middle of her lawsuit. She hasn’t responded to any of my emails and she doesn’t reach out either. I’m trying to create happy moments on my itv but maybe she doesn’t get that channel overseas. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[@cynthiaholland13]

That's a very hard situation. I am praying for you. Is her family willing to intervene?

[@LarryBilotta]

JD - So very sorry to hear this. It appears your concern with your daughter is a legal issue. My advice is to not look outside, reacting to the outside world with behavior, but to focus on your inner world by learning about mindfulness. That is the work of dwelling on what YOU can control, rather than reacting to what you cannot. I'd encourage you to watch all four of these mindfulness videos below. WHAT IS MINDFULNESS? kzbin.info/www/bejne/bV6Uiml_l6armq8 SELF TRANSFORMATION THROUGH MINDFULNESS kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5-zZqKbmdKtoa8 30 SECONDS TO MINDFULNESS kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5WaeaSOeshlicU SUSTAINING HAPPINESS THROUGH MINDFUL LIVING kzbin.info/www/bejne/eYrVaKSAppyVgM0

[@JasonFromm-j6r]

What happens when they want to destroy and separate their family for no other reason than , I don’t feel it,,,, all selfishness

[@LarryBilotta]

It may seem like there is no reason, but there is ALWAYS a reason and the cause is a tremendous amount of pain from the past that is pushing them to be selfish and chaotic.

[@ErinP-k4z]

My husband in in the middle of a midlife crisis for over a year and moved out 8 months ago and he is in a relationship for 6 months with a woman who works next to our business, he still says stuff like maybe in the future we can be together, I told my husband that I went on dates with someone else , he got very upset, does this mean he will not come back to me

[@LarryBilotta]

This is a common scenario for a man (or woman) in midlife crisis. When your husband's childhood chaos finally succeeds in taking over his personality, the childhood needs that he wanted fulfilled but which were not, all come for him. What you will notice is that he attracts a very troubled girlfriend. So all of his chaos now matches her chaos. But a strange thing happens. The two of them live in a dreamy fantasy world where everything will be wonderful in the future as soon as they can get rid of their spouses. Nothing about the relationship is legitimate. They created a new relationship while they were still in married relationships. That is not legitimate. But it is their childhood chaos that pushes them to end the legitimate marriage and create a fake fantasy relationship that gives them emotional relief in the moment. For some time such as a year, that relationship in this dream world can survive. But the very chaos that brought it about, is the chaos that tears them apart later on. To have a legitimate long-lasting relationship, a man needs to care for a woman's needs and the woman needs to care for the man's needs, but that's not what happens in the lives of chaos people with chaos childhoods. That's because a chaos childhood is a set of chaotic instructions. In the case of your husband, that requires him to treat his intimate relationship partner the way his father treated his mother in those first 10 years of his childhood. So if you want to know your husband's future with his new girlfriend, just think about the way his father treated his mother when he was a boy. That's the way he will treat EVERY woman in his future.

[@cynthiaholland13]

This is fascinating and helpful

[@Phoenixrising5]

@@LarryBilottamy wife is one year into her MLC. She left me and is pursuing divorce. She hasn’t said anything negative about me or our marriage, only says she never loved me and can’t be in a “fake “ marriage anymore. We’ve been married over a decade. Her dad is verbally abusive to her mom and for this last year my wife has been verbally abusive to me when she monsters at me. Is this her way of working through her childhood trauma? I always stayed calm when this happened. She then blocked me for no reason on all social media and her phone and we’ve been no contact for 4 months. We have a teenage kid who lives with me, so no contact makes it impossible to coparent and is frustrating. I’d appreciate any thoughts and insight

[@KimWhatley-q1k]

My husband had quadruple by-pass in the midst of MLC, how does that effect MLC

[@LarryBilotta]

Events like major surgeries, death of a loved one, etc. put further stress on a man in midlife crisis. A health scare can fuel thoughts like "I might not have much time left" which could lead to common midlife crisis behaviors. But the bottom line is that most who are going through this experience the same thoughts, fears and patterns. The details vary but the pattern remains the same.

[@Hellomarie2003]

Hi Larry. Thank you for all of your valuable information. I have a question about the last stage, acceptance. Is it possible for the midlife spouse to obtain a new man or woman this late in this stage?

[@LarryBilotta]

While anything is possible, an affair isn't as common toward the end of the crisis and if it does happen, it's likely to be short term.

[@Hellomarie2003]

@@LarryBilotta Thank you.

[@Tom-i5v]

😛

[@LikaShagashvili]

მეშინია. ჩემი თავი არ ვიცი ვინაა. 14 წლის ვარ. მინდა ჩემი თავიი😭😭😭😭😭