How long should sex last?

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It seems like all men have the same goal between the sheets:
Last longer than last time.
Move the goal post. Aim higher. Keep that joystick so hard that "the party don't stop 'till 8 in the mornin'!"
But since when did sex because a race against the stopwatch like a sporting event?
It's no wonder this causes so much stress...
If we started the stopwatch when the penis went into the vagina, the average sexual encounter would last.... 7 minutes.
And we all know it takes women twice as long to get warmed up enough to enjoy s.ex... and reach the elusive female orgasm.
That's why it's time to get real. In today's video, I reveal exactly how long sex needs to last to be pleasurable for her... and to take some of the pressure off.
But be sure to watch until the very end, because I promise you, its:
- not as long as you think, and
- there's one thing that's WAY more important than duration.
So before you start treating sex like a potato sack race, know that watching the clock isn't exactly seductive. There are more important things at play.
Timestamps
1. 00:00 Start
2. 1:56 Length of the Average Sexual Encounter
3. 2:13 Length of the Average Woman’s Sexual Encounter
4. 3:10 Ideal Average Sexual Encounter
5. 4:55 Perfect Length of Time?
6. 6:31 Control Your Orgasm
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[@SOLE_II_SOUL]

How ever long it lasts ... no one should be robbed from having a full intimate experience

[@blondie5989]

About 50secs

[@jamesfranz7508]

@PAUL FORESKIN wow just in n out

[@MASON091]

I could go an hour with my Ex with no problems, but I barely ever go that long with my wife.🤷‍♂️ I guess that’s a compliment to my wife, she’s the best to me.

[@dw7070]

It’s not about how long. It’s about how good the connection was,if you can talk to your partner it can always be awesome , kinky and hard core ❤️

[@CaitlinV]

💋MY GUIDE TO LASTING LONGER IN BED💋 secure.caitlinvneal.com/cwyw2020?+long+should+sex+last

[@AlexHarrison]

Way to make a better video than me right after I upload mine...

[@blondie5989]

Caitlin do onlyfans for your male fans sexy baby

[@blondie5989]

BIG DADDY IS HERE FOR CAITLIN CALL ME DADDY CAITLIN

[@knowledgehunter8919]

Caitlin V I really hope that you answer this question because I’m actually kind of desperate. I don’t know if this is rare to hear about but I am a man and I have gotten to the point where it takes literally forever for me to orgasm. I’m really hoping that it’s not because I am not attracted to my girlfriend any more because I really do love her. Experimenting with new positions helped out for a while but that soon starting to get boring. Please tell me that there is a solution to this problem and that I am not the only man that has experience this.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@daleraditz9650]

The 7 minute ave is based on Intravaginal ejaculation latency time. Asking a man to try an extend this to 20 mins is difficult. Foreplay is key, but it needs to be intentional not just random. The man should be doing things that set his partner up for orgasm either before penetration happens or between the his IELT time. Maybe a video dedicated to intentional foreplay could help. One trick that has always worked for me, is to verbalize with a combination of words, sounds, or looks just how turned on she gets me and how difficult it is to contain myself from just ravishing her. During foreplay or make out sessions these actions always sends my partners into a tizzy n helps them reach climax much sooner. The main reason most women struggle to orgasm is because they are in their own head n not completely comfortable in letting go. These actions have always helped remove some of those mental walls.

[@chrismitchell8837]

Great content. Thank you. Happy Holidays. Caitlin.

[@CaitlinV]

thank you Chris! You too :)

[@nigelrandtoul8646]

You are so right about it being personal and everyone takes a different length of time. Proving talking honestly is one of the most important tools in finding enjoyment as a couple. Have a great Christmas x

[@andrewjones575]

I've been criticised for lasting far too long. One lover told that "5 minutes intercourse is enough for any woman" & that of a sex session that lasts an hour, only 5 minutes at most should be intercourse. I'm puzzled by that, because I thought that most women wanted their partners to last longer.

[@Malthizar]

Women don't ever achieve orgasm because men usually last only a few minutes before coming. The intercourse itself doesn't have to be past 5 minutes if she's already properly warmed up. The problem is that most men spend maybe a minute or two on foreplay before having sex, which just isn't enough time for women.

[@andrewjones575]

@@Malthizar I spend far longer than that on foreplay & far longer on intercourse. To me, intercourse is the best part of sex, but several women have told me that it's only a small part of sex - "the icing on the cake".

[@nutyyyy]

@@Malthizar But then you get other women who don't want a lot of foreplay and get impatient. Some women also orgasm fairly easily from penetrative sex.

[@LeashMechanic]

@Andrew Jones maybe try doing it differently? 5 straight minutes of being pounded as if by a jackhammer might be too much if she’s sensitive 🤣

[@smallnuts2]

@@nutyyyy I've only had one girl orgasum by penetration only. I was drunk on hard liquor could not have an orgasum and was going at it for an hour hard. All other girls needed clitoral stimulation. I hope my future wife or girlfriend can orgasum easily.

[@Leggir]

The Shameless Sex podcast hosts always say "Go as slow as you can, and then go slower."

[@user-xk9kj6jg5l]

Is that. Good tip?

[@jonathanriggs7246]

I've been married for 24 years now and I find your videos have a lot of great info. I can only speak from my own personal experience but for play and cuddle time are as if not more important to my wife we usually spend 30 to 45 min to start because intercourse is only 10 to 15 min so the lead up is very important. Keep up the great work and merry chirstmass

[@davidswanson6219]

Great video catilin look forward for the next video and once again merry Christmas to you and your husband and family and a happy new year 2021 guess we all hope a better New year take care and thanks for the reply from you earlier today

[@labraughnjame1831]

As a 25 year old male virgin, this channel is beyond helpful to a lot of the questions and worries I have lol 😅

[@pollolor15]

I'm turning 28 this january and i'm also a virgin and with this quarantine there isn't so much chance to go out and meet new people, i tried using tinder but i don't think the kind of people i would like to interact with use those kinds of apps. But this quarantine has given me time to get rid of things in my head that don't apport anything positive and even though i consider myself an introvert, it has make me value the time i pass with other people because after all we are social beings. My recomendation is that you should take seriously your mental health and sometimes you should take time to talk about your feelings at least in a diary despite this stereotype that men should be like rocks. Also if you like videogames or tv series or novels like or harry potter thats ok i really like those kinds of media too, but true satisfaction will come when you start having experiences instead of just being an espectator; take time to learn new things and give yourself permission to create garbage and make mistakes, the keywords here are 1. Learn 2. Create and 3. Make. My point is that you should leave a trace that you lived and existed in this world and leave it a better place that you found it. Good things will happen when you start taking action, the changes won't be immediate or even easy but it will be worth it. Sorry for the long comment, i hope this will be of help for you, i would also like to give my thanks to this channel for talking about sex in such a possitive and educational way. It helps me a lot to cope with my insecurities and I actually think I would be a great boyfriend with all the information I get from this place. Best wishes.

[@labraughnjame1831]

@@pollolor15 I agree! And thanks for taking the time to share all this advice with me, I consider myself an extrovert and don't really have issues with tapping into or having control over my feelings, it's just that sex is a much deeper act than just making children or getting a release. You said we are all social beings which is true, but we are also all spiritual beings, and sex is an exchange of spiritual energy, in fact, sexual energy is the strongest form of sexual energy. I just want to be very careful and mindful about who I share that with. But you've shared some great advice nonetheless! PS - Charizard is one of my favorite pokemon lol!

[@pollolor15]

@@labraughnjame1831 what do you thing about the number of sexual partners a woman has have? It is not my intention to shame anybody for not being virgins, but sometimes I feel like my biggest issue when I get a girlfriend, will be thinking about all her other partners, like she will the first person I will offer my emotional commitment but how do I know that for her i'm not just some other dude, sometimes I feel that people that have had a lot of sexual partners maybe don't value intimacy as much as other people that waited for the right time.

[@labraughnjame1831]

@@pollolor15 I think it all depends how feel in the moment. Personally I feel as if the exchange is made with the right personal, regardless of their past, then its no big deal. Over time if the same feeling isn't there then I feel as if its up to you to go within yourself and own that you made the exchange with that person and not hold it against yourself. Basically a spiritual repair and a reconnection with ones self

[@andrewjones575]

@@pollolor15 You appear to intend to leap from being a virgin to being a boyfriend. Most people have a stage in between of having casual sex. Do you not want casual sex or do girls always reject your attempts to get it with them? Also, why do you feel you'll be emotionally committing to your first lover?

[@Zendembe]

I'll give it a try Caitlin... Hope it works😉

[@druhall23]

Hi! New to your channel but loving your content and videos! Can't wait to watch more.

[@1divemaster1]

Love your new hair color.

[@chasmcl42]

If I have ever offended you Caitlin I apologise your advise is brilliant, have a great Christmas you are helping millions.

[@valuta42]

Hi Caitlin,thank you for the video,you was so clear explaining this problem like never. I think is the short concentrate best explained video wich you have . HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. LOVE YOU.

[@daviddigital6887]

I'm not a subscriber but watched a few of your vids and must say I think you are very intelligent and have a great talent for speaking and making a point.

[@wtywatoad]

Some couples develop sexual chemistry and timing very quickly, other times more slowly. Foreplay and afterplay usually comprise most of the time of the sexual encounter, so it's important to use that time to communicate with your partner in order to build chemistry for the next time you're together.

[@MjrMjr-tt3kn]

Your spot on! Love this video

[@MsSimixx]

She makes me feel like there's nothing wrong with me. Too many years of listening to a bad rhetoric only to find out that i'm just a normal woman. Definitely need to work on expressing all of this to my partner and getting him to understand my needs in bed.

[@leonfulcher8548]

Glad that you’ve got that straight. The other problem is likely neither your or his fault, but a societal problem that started with ancient barbarians that received some combination of power/sexual/sadistic kick from harming others, or they were just gullible and catered to someone else’s mental illness. That problem is commonly known as circumcision or MGM/FGM. Most countries restrict & discourage the practice but a few like the U.S. has used money, religion & other lies to permanently damage men & their significant other. Until recently, most couples went to their graves not knowing why they had serious relationship issues that covered the gamut from minor sexual issues (is there such a thing as “minor” sexual problems?” to murder & suicide. I was one for 45 + years. The good news is that men are becoming aware that there is ways to dramatically improve or fix the problem. And parents are being better informed so that they aren’t allowing their healthy babies to be painfully & extremely handicapped by those that violate their oath of “do no harm”. Do an internet search for any combination of the words foreskin and restoring. I have no way to know if this has anything to do with the problem you spoke of, but I suspect it is the major cause. At any rate I wish you luck.

[@MsSimixx]

@@leonfulcher8548 umm..wow. No, but thank you

[@leonfulcher8548]

@@MsSimixx Sorry it didn’t help.

[@zendragondrew]

Great advice, I think this 20/20/20 format is a good starting point. Maybe some people might go a bit longer or a bit shorter in some or all of the three sections, but that's a good template for people to work with if they aren't sure. Think for me and my girlfriend lately it's been like 15/35/10...still adds up to an hour-ish, haha, to each their own.

[@sonny_youre_a_real_fckin_mutt]

I just appreciate getting any. As long as she is feeling loved and warm I know it’s lasted long enough.

[@varzacwarin782]

Great Tips, Thanks!

[@frankbazuaye4747]

Great and very resourcesful.Can you do a show on foreplay?

[@bobbobinson4952]

Great video 😊

[@WhenAphroditeSpeaks]

Love yoU! So easy to watch!

[@davidswanson6219]

Great video and merry Christmas to you and your husband

[@CaitlinV]

thank you David! Merry Christmas to you and yours :)

[@davidswanson6219]

@@CaitlinV thanks but I'm single never been married

[@petxx8155]

MERRY X-MAS doctor "Scorpio"!!🎅🎄🎉🎁💖

[@scottbernard8824]

It should last as long as you paid for it.

[@andrewjones575]

Does that include paying for in indirectly, such as presents, expensive dates etc.?

[@scottbernard8824]

@@andrewjones575 What are these "presents" and "expensive dates" to which you refer?

[@andrewjones575]

@@scottbernard8824 Presents include flowers, jewellery, chocolates, clothes. Expensive dates are very often at upmarket restaurants.

[@whygiveup11]

@@andrewjones575 the joke flew way over your head

[@andrewjones575]

@@whygiveup11 It's much closer to a boast masquerading as ignorance rather than a joke. It's saying that he doesn't buy things for women because he pays directly.

[@m8k1shaiz8]

Merry X-mas!!!

[@clwoodma]

Thank you! This is very useful. I get that every encounter is not the same, but it’s great to have a template to work with.

[@Rob-bv6ew]

I love the pictures that go with this.

[@bandkadams8897]

Caitlin, great advice. All of it. It all makes perfect sense. Thank you very much. :o)

[@johnnyblaze4053]

Thank you for teaching us things we would never figure out in two or more lifetimes. I need help but can't afford it but thank you for your phenomenal videos that also help us a lot.

[@chuckhamilton1101]

Hello beautiful excellent video. Enjoyed very much! 💕

[@CaitlinV]

thank you Chuck!

[@leonfulcher8548]

Almost any discussion about making sex better is always welcome. I grew up in an era that no one mentioned sex except for an occasional guy bragging about his latest accomplishment. Everyone experiences sex in their own way & their experience changes over time & with different lovers. A population will have some members of either sex that has little interest in it, and other’s that can never get enough. Most are somewhere in-between those two points. Surprisingly to me is why Caitlin and others in the profession are seemingly oblivious to the one thing that affects both men & women in heinous ways, not just in the bedroom but throughout their lives. It is so insidious & insane that the affected individuals usually refuse to admit that it negatively affects them, and they will even encourage or perform the same diabolical stunt on other innocents. What is it? It is typically called circumcision, but it is also referred to as genitalia mutilation, both male & female (FGM/MGM). It causes enough problems that it would take a book to contain them all. So, let it suffice for now that when it comes to sex and problems in bed, MGM (circumcision) is the first thing to look at. It would have removed the foreskin (prepuce) and lots of important nerves and important components like the ridged band, preputial sphincter, frenulum and extremely important, the amputated foreskin brain. That foreskin brain is key to men being able to have full body orgasms, body parts that are extremely sensuous and a degree of caring & empathy that is lessened, or completely lost when the foreskin is cut off. Even when a child grows into an adult without these valuable body parts, they quite often refuse to recognize and believe that they are victims. That is, until advancing age (anything from teenager to an old man, but typically around age 40) when multiple problems become to tough to ignore. A typical breaking point is the advent of total impotence (erectile disfunction) and then he desperately tries to find a solution. That solution quite often is a pill for erectile disfunction, and it apparently somewhat works for many, at least something is a little better than it had been. Even all that doesn’t make most blame the culprit. Instead they tend to blame their DNA, or even acknowledging that their penis isn’t as fantastically stud-like that they had always told themselves it was. And, never once blaming the real reason for the problem - circumcision.. If all that isn’t bad enough, most men can reclaim all or most of what was taken from them with their own hands & time. A number of foreskin restoring websites and blogs on facebook, reddit, etc. are goldmines of information. And beware of the circumfetish. They range from the weirdo that posts nonsense praising the practice of mutilation, to those that actually do it for the big bucks that can be made from torturing babies and selling their body parts. Everyone that’s aware of the insanity of circumcision should be screaming bloody murder, because all to often it is!

[@nydzar]

It's soo true👍 males just wish it would last forever. Though it's absolutely unrealistic, yet it's so enticing for males to wish it would. It's an all together ball game with women. Thanks for laying down the foundations for healthy sexual expectations and experience. You're awesome 👏Thanks Caitlin🌺 You rock💥

[@DC632A]

The right amount of time is the time best suited for individual couples. An hour isn’t for everyone so as long as the two of you are content be it 5 minutes or an hour be happy.

[@andrewtomlin1426]

It was good timing to have caught your informative video. I've heard 15 minutes, but i like the suggestion of 1+hours for sex. But i also like your suggestion that foreplay starts before even getting into the bedroom . Thank you Ms. Caitlin V ❤🥰

[@rndst6]

DAYUMMMMM SOLD CAITLIN! 🤣🤣🤣💯💯💯

[@steveo7624]

Very nice

[@kylandcupcake568]

Love your videos as always I have a question to ask when you have a chance

[@CaitlinV]

www.caitlinvneal.com/contact

[@christopherpotter6753]

🧨I have to congratulate for the video editor! The gratitude aiming for the complete chanels guality, but the "coats of armor" scene brought this up for me. xD

[@Abandapart-hc3en]

My wife and I fucking love you.. We have both learned sooo much just from watching your KZbin stuff it's crazy!!!

[@jimlangley4779]

It all depends on how the man and woman want each othet how much desire for each other I have went 4 hours with my ex spouse

[@marcelinadiazrodriguez7899]

I need to take notes ..I’ll back for a replay

[@oz70nyc50]

40 years old, and I go an hour tops with my lady just about every night. 3 kids, we both work and have active social lives together and individually. But I will make the time and take the time to devote ALL of my sexual energy to her. To many of my other friends who are in relationships say "I have sex with my wife/GF every day", but their general idea of it is exactly as you described. Whereas with me and my wife, sex is an EVENT. I'll spend anywhere between 15-25 minutes on just foreplay alone to get the "Niagra Falls" effect. Once she's completely putty in my hands, it's "MISSION CONTROL, WE HAVE LIFT OFF!!!" 17 years of marriage, together 21 years total and the LAST thing we ever have issues over is sex.

[@mzakisyed5537]

Very good advise. Whole heartedly agree BUT there is a term Quicky lol. Both partners some time just wanna have little breakfast and not Dinner all the time. Cheers

[@MrCamarokid83]

Sounds like an old chevy... 20 minutes to warm up 🤣

[@smilekaadda2304]

Hey, you look so beautiful, I like your haircut.

[@justsomeguy6133]

Quality vs quantity makes sense, but oftentimes that just turns into no quantity OR quality. 3 x a week vs once is one thing, but when it’s only happening a couple times a year at best…well…that’s a whole other problem.

[@scottconway9522]

I find myself losing control the more excited she becomes.

[@MajorChipHazard16]

That's normal. You just have to keep practicing and youll naturally start to get used to it instead of getting all excited and popping the top lol

[@albertstrohmetz4679]

Right on

[@Caesarmendez6]

Well I think the really good time for it, depends so much about the person yeah, But I personally enjoy so much from 15 to 20 minutes... If there's more than that, for me all will be bored

[@jeffs.8970]

Interesting … I do notice there is a large difference between dating / honeymoon phase, marriage, marriage with kids, then dating again. Seems like 2 hours is normal early in a relationship, maybe an hour when married. Then kids, shorten that time to about 30 minutes or so. Just my personal opinion .. I had a great marriage for 22 years till my wife passed. Now that I’m dating again, the time window is going up with lots of for-play. I did not count aftercare because I assumed that is nice for both parties I’m my time estimates.

[@blisswkc3344]

Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹 Y'all such an inspiration 🥰 Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖 Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈

[@DespairMagic]

I'm usually working for 45 min AT LEAST. If my body gives in stamina wise, I keep working on it with my hands or mouth. But if we talk about pure Penetration it's about 20-30 min.

[@williamgageglass5799]

How long does it need to last if I had a buy one get on free coupon?

[@aftabahmed2993]

hi mam have u ever read book of Erica jong ( fear of flying)

[@patrolpilot3756]

How do we apply for your time?

[@davidhutchison7567]

Way to ruin chocolate for me. Lmao

[@Guanajuatoeddie]

Me as well.... I will never be able to look at brown M&M’s again

[@itsphant0mfr0sty]

0:50 my actual setup

[@steveo7624]

Kaitlyn what about wining and dining and dancing and romancing learning more about romance dancing Social dancing

[@Rick_Cleland]

ONE HUNDRED BILLION YEARS!!

[@Alex9971000]

I have actually been wondering this, and here this video pops up in my recommendations like it’s nothing. Thank you KZbin you kinky algorithm.

[@dmitryvasiliev2718]

It is the problem of my life!I can't last more than a few minutes!What's to do? How can I change the situation?

[@ToTaLChAoS26]

This might be silly and absolutely not the point of this video, but I really like your hair color. Is it a one box treatment or a multi color process? Also, luved the video.

[@CaitlinV]

thank you! I get it touched up every 2 weeks, no box color.

[@frankvillareal7204]

All day

[@leeeastwood6368]

if I wanna get the woman warmed up, I just switch on the heating. job done!

[@michaelsanchez8457]

Have Mantak Chia on to discuss his methods.

[@tonyperez2803]

This one girlfriend i had says always look at the face and listen to the body that how know when to go more or stop

[@Lakk6Metal]

depends on many things, if they are married, cheaters and so on .

[@Guanajuatoeddie]

At 3:40, I gotta stop you right there. Men must learn that the best and most sensitive sexual arousal organ on most all women is her mind. Boys, the earlier you remind your lady that you can’t wait for “our special time”, the wheels start churning. I start the flirt of my beloved 48 hours before and then again at 12 before... This method has been working for me for over 30 years and is the reason she has stayed married to me for 31. Remember, her mind is where it starts!!!!

[@hawkstringfellow]

way tobe honest catlin

[@meram2242]

They say they want it all night, but after two hours they say “just finish already”!

[@oliguayasebesteves166]

Yu must be 16...2 hours? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@nikmorales8624]

Its not about how fast you get to the finish line, its about enjoying each part of the trip. Start slow, be sensual and exchange massage. Take your time and explore her body and her sensitive areas. She will not only appreciate it, she will more than repay the favor. When you finally do get to the penetration, you wont even worry about finishing. Only thing that will be on your mind is how amazing she feels and how hot her body feels against yours. Makes all the difference

[@nikmorales8624]

@@xxstrmiexx3029 I cant have kids lol thats how I keep someone faithful 😆

[@isakjoseph747]

This is a personal question guess it depends on every individual

[@WhenAphroditeSpeaks]

1 out of 3 ?? Wow!

[@janicemurphy7878]

I think it should last as long as both people reach their satisfaction, that's only fair. Awm

[@MrKcool25]

I have an exact opposite problem. Somebody send me a link for a video on how to achieve faster! Please. No, nothing helps. No matter how hot a girl is or how warmed up I am.. Lol

[@Callmenobody174]

Anybody every heard the old song from 1951, "60 minute man"? There ya go.

[@elionurlauber]

7:52

[@awadheshsharma3733]

1:08 the guy be like why meeeee????

[@anthonyp8466]

Hey

[@neilo.hislop950]

I think sex should last until you're BOTH satisfied. It is after all a collective effort getting there. It's like you say Take your Time.

[@shivanshpachauri2855]

who is the girl in the thumbnail??

[@wilsonfantauzzi8923]

as long as u want .

[@krissolson7043]

I generally go until she asks me to finish.

[@thossi09]

While not a woman, I expect the simplest answer is along the lines of "As long as it's enjoyable."

[@jaredthisdelle5617]

I like going at it for a day or two 😊😊😊😊💪

[@Intuotive]

ONE HUNNID HOURS! SOUNDS FUN! 😉

[@randyecihlar8287]

3hrs

[@Pete_R63]

I'd like it to last longer but, I only pay for an hour. ; )

[@AncientChi]

I go about 30 minutes on average but I can sometimes bust after 3 minutes of I get too excited

[@peterkurtz8096]

An hour and half. Then 15 minute break and another 30 minute

[@bryanandrew1743]

What if your partner doesn't want sex but you do then what

[@htommyhomeboy]

In a real relationship, how long it last isn't as important as what's being provided for a full experience before considering being donne.

[@hyperram]

1 hr TID☺

[@00Trendingshorts]

I m first

[@Darkstar03ca]

Nope, that sounds about right to me, one hour.