How Many Children to Have | Dave Rubin & Jordan B Peterson

Advice on raising little kids - is there a correct number of children to have?
Clip from "Jordan Peterson LIVE: 12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos". Discussing my book 12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos - January 23, 2018.
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[@tpangle17]

I have 6 kids and I absolutely see this play out. I often feel bad for the older ones who got so much individual attention from me and I feel happy for the kids 3, 4, 5, and 6 because I feel like they were "saved" from my meddling in a way. Once we had 3 kids, they all just wanted to be in the same room with each other and I went from entertaining kids up in my face for the last 4 years 100% of my day (which drove me absolutely crazy) to them all wanting to be in the toy room together and sitting silently by myself for a few minutes (with them in earshot, of course). Now, having a gaggle of 5 running around helping each other (yes, fighting, but that's what I'm there for) and a newborn means that the newborn gets what she needs and the older kiddos lives are relatively undisrupted by a new baby - their life is stable and happy, with lots of joy to relish in a newborn sibling's smiles. I am so grateful for not stopping when I felt overwhelmed with 2-3 kids. Instead I asked for *help* of everyone and anyone of good will who would help me. We got through it and now I'm seeing the incredible gift a larger family has to offer both myself and the community at large.

[@ZZ-xh1zh]

I'm pregnant with #6 and terrified. Not of having 6 total but how everyone is going to think of me. I haven't told my family yet. Although my kids are well behaved there are always people that look at me with pure disgust for having so many kids when out in public.

[@tpangle17]

@@ZZ-xh1zh Congratulations on your new baby!! Somewhere between baby #4 and baby #6, I began to really expect adults to be adults and children to be children and any adult who behaved like a child towards me for my free-will and intentional decision about my fertility I just kind of pitied, instead of trying to please. Since my pregnancy with #5, I have had so many *women* - total strangers - tell me how they wanted to have more kids but their husband said no, or their family advised them not to. I've had probably a dozen or more encounters with total strangers who told me this. And also a lot of younger women (teens and college age) say they want a big family! I am at peace, because my worth doesn't rest in these strangers (or even family members who love me but think I'm going overboard). I am making my own free-will informed decisions :)

[@ForHisGlory222]

​@@tpangle17 God bless you! ❤ It always amazes me how family members think they have a right to tell you how many kids you should have. Or total strangers for that matter.

[@ForHisGlory222]

​@@tpangle17 Also, I was an only child who was raised with cousins who were also only children. I hated it. God blessed me with a puppy to get through the boredom of childhood. Both my parents and my Aunts and Uncles who had only children thought we were crazy to have our 2nd and 3rd child. I thought they were crazy to only have one!

[@tpangle17]

@@ZZ-xh1zh How is baby #6? How are you doing a year later? :)

[@dennisahlarson1584]

I am an only child who was raised with cousins close in age, so I never missed not having siblings. I think only children are just fine as long as parents socialize them often with other children.

[@KateeAngel]

ALL children need to socialise with other children outside family. Socialisation within family isn't enough. I as an only child was surrounded by other kids: in daycare/kindergarten, music school, our summer house village, in the yard of our apartment building. None of them were my relatives. Of course isolated living like ya'll do in America, with suburbs and no accessible daycares makes very little possibility of kids to interact with kids outside their own family. It is bad anyway, even if they have siblings

[@yvonne6629]

They say before 3 daycare are not the best, better one let's say baby sitter, but not easy in western world

[@ForHisGlory222]

As someone who was an only child with cousins close in age who I saw often, I had a very different experience. My cousins were great, but I longed for siblings. You aren't with cousins for the everyday life experiences. I always promised myself I would have more than one because I felt it was cruel to only have one. I also hated that people always assumed I was spoiled because I was an only child. That was NOT the case.

[@TheDrivingCrooner117]

My husband grew up witb cousins close to his age, but he had no siblings. We have 2 kids, he wants at least 2 more. He wished he had siblings growing up, and having grown up being 1 of 7 siblings, i certainly can't imagine life without them. I always thought it sounded like sucu a lonely life. Im glad not all only-children had a lonely experience though ❤❤❤

[@planetruther]

Last year I got a ride to the airport by an Uber driver who has 11 children (all from the same wife). They live in Vancouver (one of the most expensive cities in the world) and still they manage. He also said he comes from a family of 29 children. That's right - he has 28 siblings and all from the same mom and dad! He moved to Canada from a Somali village where the population is around 300 people and they are all related. When a man in the village takes a spouse from another village, she moves to the man's village. He was such an awesome guy and I gave him a 100% tip :))

[@nathalies523]

What a wonderful life they must have..

[@maksimilian528]

Overpopulation

[@jamesbedukodjograham5508]

​@@maksimilian528Islam is causing too much population growth. Three is nice but two is already a burden.😊

[@canadiangirl5159]

I have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. Plus a great husband. A big family is loud, busy, crazy, but sooo much fun. I stayed home and I do not regret a second. Life is about choices. Sure a "career" and some more money would have been nice, BUT now I get to have lots of grandchildren. I now have my first grand baby. I get want Dr. Peterson is saying, babies are what life is all about. Money can't buy that experience, it can't buy love.

[@EriPages]

Congrats. Do you guys live in the countryside or in a city?

[@canadiangirl5159]

@@EriPages Country, and I've been blessed with two more grandchildren.

[@nicholasdaniels1306]

@@canadiangirl5159 Congratulations!! 🍾🎊

[@darlingnine8803]

@@canadiangirl5159 congratulations!!! I hope, you all are doing great

[@canadiangirl5159]

@Melissa Oestreich That's why we made the life choices that we did back when we were in our early 20's. I worked while my husband got his degree, and then I stayed home to raised our kids. Plus, after University was finished we moved to a small town, far away from expensive large cities. Now I get to add another grandchild, our 4th is due after this coming Christmas, since I first made this comment 3 years ago.

[@Kurtownia]

Yeah, 15 seems optimal.

[@viorp6982]

You need to pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers. Do you think you can save the white race with that?

[@tehufn]

Knew a guy who was one of 11

[@EriPages]

@@tehufn Was he a skinny bastard?

[@EriPages]

HAH. Nice one.

[@ahmed1758]

Better yet have two foot ball teams so they amuse and play with each other

[@Panzernator]

Churchill said 4 is the right number. "One for mommy, one for daddy, one for accidents, and one for increase."

[@rithwiksingh3156]

Haahaa 😉😂

[@buu.888]

“One to reproduce your wife, one to reproduce yourself, one for the increase in population, and one in case of accident.” - Winston Churchill

[@ricardoguanipa8275]

For me at least 3 fuckers running around my after my mid thirties but I'm not gonna start popping kids out until I get my shit together and tamed my insecurities

[@viorp6982]

Heh... like anyone ever tames their insecurities.

[@1simo93521]

Dont worry youll have whole new set of insecurities in your thirties.

[@Jesalllll]

Don't wait too long!

[@canadiangirl5159]

Ricardo You can never be prepared for kids. I have been married for almost 34 years, to high school sweat heart, we have raised 4 kids. My advice is, be married first, move to a small town cause it's cheaper, and always remember that children want patience, hugs and love. And that a house full of laughter and little money, is better then a house full of sadness and a lots of money. :)

[@aminor3049]

I would like to warn to newer parents that if you intend to have more than one child, be wary if one starts to exhibit toxic behavior towards the other. Though what Jordan mentioned in this video is true, it can of course have the opposite effect when a toxic personality is thrown into the mix. My older sister is a Malignant Narcissist, and you can probably imagine it didn't do much good for my social development.

[@richandclean]

Jeez 😳 as much as being an only child is lame that does sound pretty bad, peace to you

[@YG_39]

here lies the purpose of child discipline

[@aesthetictiktokvibes8349]

@@YG_39Yep. My uncle is a text book narcissist, completely dominated my dad, aunty and uncles since childhood. Decided who got to watch tv, who used the record player, bullied them. I still see it manifest in him to this day when he pushes around my fatjer and makes fun of my aunt. Safe to say if my grandparents had discipled him from a young age, and broken down his ego the dynamics of our family would be drastically different

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

My older sister is a narcissist also. I've found out what's going on only in adulthood. I wanted to have 3 children, but my son is autistic and I didn't want to add a new baby, that would be screamed at or hit by him :( Now when he's older, he calm down, but it's too late for a sibling at his age.

[@mrsgreen96]

Narc personality ruins everything and everyone 😢

[@jordanhorst6]

I have 2 siblings; which seems the most common number In my social groups. For the chronicling of actual events having a third party seems to keep the whole trio more honest and in my opinion keep things within a set of boundaries, so to speak.

[@EriPages]

Agreed. 3 should be a minimum.

[@boobarellaful]

Having 3 all in one go! ☺

[@Zoeyelizanelson]

This is adorable!

[@firstnamelastname-vt6et]

yeesh

[@missamanda_]

Congrats 🍾

[@KatiesArabVision]

In order to have more than one child you have to have a big enough heart to share that love. I can’t. I give all my love to my one son. It’s really hard for me and my pregnancy and after pregnancy was absolutely horrific. If I could I would have one or two more. But I can’t afford, mentally physically or literally to do so. Am happily married with a son.

[@motan7864]

i'm a grown up only child and i hate it. For the very reasons Peterson described it. I'm not resilient enough, i always struggled to keep friends (and keep girlfriends btw...), I was overprotected and given every money my toxic parents could give me to "make it easy" for me. So less than excellence in my results at school or whatever were a failure and shame for me because i wasn't worthy of my parents' money and blood sweat and tears. As a result i grew up stressed and depressed WHILE I HAD SEEMINGLY AVERYTHING AT MY DISPOSAL so i couldn't even complain... because i thought: "what am i? a spoiled brat? an unworthy son?" So during my 20's i was ALWAYS depressed and had big trouble to live a normal life. So i beg you, please do a little effort for your son. Give him a little sister of brother, they'll be infinitely grateful for it. I know i would. I would give anyhting to have had a childhood with siblings... God i wish i had. Think about him, about them. It's all about the next generation, not you. THEY are what matter. Not you. Please?

[@areez22]

@@motan7864 Preach

[@Alienrun]

@@motan7864 Reading your comment is making me realize I'm even more of a spoiled brat than you, I have a few siblings but due to my mental issues I feel I can barely talk to them, thus I still feel very alone. But at the same time it would be hard for me to imagine my life without them, I sometimes think my parents would have given me more attention if it was just me but I'm not going to go there for obvious reasons. In any case I agree with you, being an only child would have probably made things worse for me...

[@jesusismine]

I felt exactly the same when I was pregnant with my 2nd child: I felt I could never love him as much as I loved the 1st child. Boy was I wrong!!!! I have 4 now; and I have exactly the same love for all my children that it sometimes amazes me how God created us!

[@jacks5463]

@@motan7864I relate to this on so many levels. I wish there was clear recourse for only children but I haven’t found any yet for the issues you’ve laid out.

[@travelseatsyellowlab]

Kids are massively expensive. That being said, my parents have three, and there's such a vast difference in age between us that we have little in common and I don't feel close to them. So I feel in many ways like an only.

[@Darkscenes-jp4ge]

kids might be expensive but how can anyone achieve true happiness in life without children???

[@travelseatsyellowlab]

@@Darkscenes-jp4ge Kids are not going to bring happiness unless there's stability in the relationship between the parents. Whatever problems the parents have will ultimately become inherited by their sons and daughters. Also, if finances are not where they need to be, raising children will be a miserable experience for all involved.

[@Darkscenes-jp4ge]

@@travelseatsyellowlab I don't have children either but it's true life is more sad and depressing without children

[@travelseatsyellowlab]

@@Darkscenes-jp4ge maybe, but I don't have children to compare the difference. Everyday, parents have children who develop drug or alcohol addiction, are habitually unemployed, go to prison, become estranged from the parents, die before the parents, etc. All of those outcomes are far more saddening and depressing than any child a person never had. I've seen firsthand the heartbreak children can bring to their parents and no other depression can match it, not even being childless. Joan Fontaine, whose children turned against her, maligning her every chance they get, even years after her death, are a perfect example.

[@Darkscenes-jp4ge]

@@travelseatsyellowlab that's true Children isn't for everyone idk If I will ever have any I'm currently 24 and I still don't think I'm ready

[@aaronburnsbonaventurebookk595]

I want 5. The future Mrs. wants 5. Pretty excited. Should be a grand ol time.

[@vanyoutubeburg8072]

Good luck and congrats!

[@tonyjk]

Wish you all the very best. Ensure your finances are put firmly in place, and you're very likely to have a merry life!

[@Frietoe]

How’s it going?

[@blamethebillionaires]

go to india.😑

[@solidbanjobanjo9367]

I’m an only child, I grew up in a tiny family, I realised at an older age just how weird I was, I want children but will never have only 1 it’s cruel on the child

[@lizgomez3281]

My hubby passed away 3 years ago. I have one child. I’m soon turning 38. How I wish I could have a second one. My son keeps asking for a sibling. And I also would love another baby. 😢

[@inaboland9015]

Donor. Asap.

[@errolm8313]

You'd be a single mother of two kids right now if that were the case..... And being a son of a single mother of 3, I can tell you from the child's perspective, I seen my mother near the brink of breaking..... I've often times wondered as a child of her life would have been easier if my brothers didn't exist. Bc she struggled miserably

[@JustMe54328]

Adopt an orphaned baby if u think u can provide for yourself + 2 kids

[@swimmingduck9905]

Adopt

[@lizgomez3281]

@@JustMe54328 I just started 💓

[@AliyaMussina]

Love it. Grew up as 1. Hate not having siblings. It’s hard to make friends in adulthood, and having siblings would have been really nice for psychological health, imho. Not like I am a psycho, but it would have been nice to talk about your life and challenges to your siblings. I thank God I have many cousins though, they all live in different countries, but talking to them makes me happy!!!

[@kingd432]

I can relate but…. I’m one of three so it doesn’t add up

[@RJ-gn6gi]

Me too, I have no siblings but plenty of cousins thankfully

[@eliannarose4883]

I grew up in a large family and married a man who was an only child, thus he wanted a big family because he felt deprive and lonely growing up. I ended up having a large family also, the most difficult child to raise was my husband... Everything was always about him, he just didn’t have the tools for parenthood, relationships, discipline, sharing... He was a good man but he certainly wasn’t easy! If you have only one child, you are their sole entertainment and you do the greatest disservice to their future relationships... children need to be children, to explore, get angry, get over it, bounce ideas one another, create together and just play! My children are amazing, every one! 🙏

[@Twinflame327]

I can relate because I have one sibling with a disability

[@Heymanchillout7531]

@@Twinflame327 oh my lord, finally someone who I can fully relate to. This is literally my exact situation: I have one sibling, an older sister, who is mentally disabled, and despite being the younger brother, I tend to act like the older one most of the time. Quite frankly, it really annoys me, as it feels like I was handed a rather unlucky deck of cards; I know that sounds horrible, but I can’t help the fact that I hold at least some rather selfish opinions/desires.

[@JustMe54328]

my dad has 7 siblings, they actually don’t get along because of inheritance problems, quite common in India and around the world I suppose. So among these kids the 2 females weren’t educated due to economic constraints, 2 males dropped out of school, 2 males graduated but couldn’t have successful careers, 2 males graduated and had a successful and stable career (my dad is in this category) Similarly my granny had 7 siblings - 3 females uneducated, 2 males graduated with a stable career, 1 male dropped out, 2 males graduated but no good career. Pls check how much resources you have and then reproduce accordingly. This is an unfair world and sometimes a cruel world too, so be careful with your decisions, sometimes your child may need an additional push from your side and giving that push at the right time can change their life entirely.

[@Winston.S.Churchill]

I’m half Irish half Indian and have the exact same problem with both sides however it’s with my grandparents siblings so It could be generational? Although I’m from England and so are my parents but could be cultural then

[@totoroutes5389]

As many as can be provided for, including music lessons or other activities, college/university program, separate bedrooms, parents' own savings for retirement life.

[@tpangle17]

This was pretty much only possible for people in developed countries in the last 70 years of human history.

[@FirstLast-gk6lg]

I only want to have children if i can do it like frogs, have 5000 at once and then abandon them all

[@malissahyatt2425]

😂😂😂😂

[@gailpinto9379]

LOL

[@KateeAngel]

​@PedroOrtega1993only 1 out of 100 more like

[@lucilla97]

what about the studies that show only childre score better in autonomy and initiative.The most reliable findings were the differences in mean scores between only-child families and families with five or more children. Only-children scored higher in trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, and identity (Mellor, 1990). He is saying two is good cause he got two. lol ...and he is really omitting the fact that kids can be playing with other kids in daily basis without having siblings. I, for example, grew up playing and often sleeping over with a kid that was 1 year younger and was the son of my parents best friends. only children are best: they learn to love other people outside family bonds as much as family....isn´t this pretty much what humanity should learn to do?

[@areez22]

Correlation, not causation.

[@dergluckliche4973]

Zero works for me.

[@malissahyatt2425]

Funny...thats how many I ended up with.

[@myriamb9794]

Studies don’t support his claims: according to the data, onlies are pretty much like everyone else, no less happy, with no less friends, no more depressed etc. than those who have siblings

[@richandclean]

False, speaking as one and many I know of various ages and genders

[@richandclean]

@@hannahliscomb4853 academic Argument? Wasn't he just asked his personal opinion?

[@richandclean]

@@hannahliscomb4853 then why are you watching a random KZbin interview?? 🤷🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🙈

[@KateeAngel]

​@@richandcleanallchildren need to socialise outside family anyway, and only children can so it as much as others. Of course most of ya'll in America live in isolated suburbs, have no cheap daycares and thus kids in pre-school age have little to no interaction with other kids. Which is bad for anyone. Socialisation only within family isn't enough

[@farshadmn4273]

My mother always says "one is less, two is to much"

[@jesuiscequejesuis2267]

Four ankle biters is perfect. One for each ankle.

[@jmkass]

Hahahahaha love it! It makes sense! Holy...I realized you posted this 6 years ago. Well, must be interesting getting a reply on a comment 6 years later XD

[@msch7620]

When you work in early childhood, you can spot the only child in a heartbeat. It’s usually the child that has a harder time sharing toys and attention. They want to be 1st for everything too and often have meltdowns if they are not. In big families, the dynamics can vary. The last kid of a big family can bully the younger friends the way the older siblings bully them at home, is usually more delayed in expressive language and misbehave to seek attention from the caregivers. The parents are sometimes older and tired and the oldest, especially if it’s a girl, often ends up doing most of the caregiving and it shows. The ones in the middle can feel invisible and can have learning or health issues that are overlooked.

[@annarusso7278]

So what would you say is an optimal number?

[@creativesource3514]

Siblings are great when they are close in adult life. Siblings who fight are awful.

[@errolm8313]

I know from experience.

[@shortycherubim8007]

I don't care about decrease of population or what not...One child is sufficient for me. In this day and age, a child is becoming more and more difficult especially in countries where cost of living is extremely high and salaries can't hardly make it

[@richandclean]

It's all about you is it?

[@KateeAngel]

​​​@@richandcleanyes, when people decide to change their life for at least 18 years, it is all about them and their kids, and noone else's business. That is why even if birthrate fell to zero, making people have kids against their will would be unacceptable, because it is the people who will end up taking the responsibility for raising kids, should make the decision about having them, not anyone else. If government or businesses want more kids, let them raise those kids themselves

[@thinkingnomad]

We have four kids- they amuse themselves. It’s like a little society that does come to you for ultimate judgement from time to time.

[@Arman-sr2gu]

none is the best

[@bowieupland6112]

Homosexual Dave Rubin, and his "husband", simply buy children from financially desperate surrogate mothers.

[@gpg8204]

I have one son, I am not having more bc my body can't, and is so hard!! My kid cry so much bc he is an only child, He says to me "mami feel so lonely" oh dear Lord!!😢😥. I wish I can have one more child just one!!

[@Myllkka]

Gina Granada Adopt! :) and how old are you?

[@user-wj6rf1bw5m]

pray fervently to God, He will give you a child

[@LLWW]

Foster to adopt it's free and you get another child to love

[@EriPages]

How old are you? Save for surrogacy or discuss having your husband impregnating a good friend of yours to provide siblings to your son.

[@mabeltasimeyie7315]

Adopt

[@Guruthosa]

I think I'll go 2 to 4. I have two younger brothes and it was awesome having them around! So glad not to be an only child.

[@britwhit5171]

Being an only child rules. Has plenty of benefits.

[@AnthonySoAngelic]

@@britwhit5171 yeah in the short term

[@britwhit5171]

@@AnthonySoAngelic It's the opposite really. If you're talking about being "alone" as a problem then that's able to change and be fixed.

[@seriousguy2160]

@@britwhit5171 You did not listen to what Peterson said at all

[@KateeAngel]

I always loved being an only child. And I had a lot of friends who were not my relatives. Can you imagine?

[@coolegarry]

My only child friend just buried her mum and her dad died a couple of years ago. She is beyond sad as her childhood memories are not shared by a sibling. She has had a very stressful couple of years minding her aging parents alone and found it extremely difficult. When her husband left her years ago she had no one except us friends to help her. It's selfish to deliberately choose to have only one child.

[@lzlz21213]

As an only child I agree with your last statement. I always have but felt like an ass for thinking it

[@cryingcrane8173]

The truth is that it's selfish to have any children at all. And your friend should be grateful that no other siblings exist to suffer because of their parents' deaths. Now in truth I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about their dead family members, but at the same time you shouldn't be using this experience to justify having more children either.

[@areez22]

@@cryingcrane8173 It is selfish to drink water.

[@philipstokes2824]

@@cryingcrane8173 by your own logic shame your parents had you.

[@cryingcrane8173]

@@philipstokes2824 I regret that they did lol

[@thewirah1]

That's so simplistic.

[@johnfoo628]

I just found out my wife is pregnant of our third child, they will be no more than 4 years appart between them. I must say I am still in shock, but it's nice te hear I will have some peace and quiet in a couple of years 😅

[@andersonreid6845]

Wow the oracle of life speaks

[@samzkaymusic]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@medarby3066]

We have a beagle who was raised in a concrete pen the first six months of her life, rescued by a rabbit hunter, trained to track rabbits in a pack for 6 month's. she was gifted to us by the hunter as a therapeutic dog for our boy's after a horrid (semi random) life event. Anyways she is the best dog ever around people, but has no idea how to interact with other dogs, (probably why the rabbit hunter gifted her to us) she was raised in a 4x4 concrete slab all by herself. Other dogs are a curiosity, not a playmate. She is completely submissive, and skidish of other dogs. Wants no part of the dog play aspect. She only plays with humans, (fetch, wrestle, chase, beg for food)

[@frederickbulsara8141]

how tragic

[@nel3624]

My sisters traumatized me

[@errolm8313]

Meh..... Not every child benefits from having siblings.... Just like not all parents benefit from having more than 1 child.... Kids are alot of work

[@DocumentalistaProhibido]

Having a disfunctional family is worse with siblings

[@rogerpayne3807]

"Everyone should be normal like me, otherwise it's a problem."

[@vanyoutubeburg8072]

I don't know why I watch these things since I already know how many kids I want. I guess I just like hearing jp' s ideas

[@best2563]

And how many do you want?

[@mateaukalua4426]

Somewhere between 0 and 2 or 3.

[@geraldford9566]

Just found out we are expecting our 3rd. We were planning on 3 but not this soon.

[@patriciaann2367]

Thank you, I needed this.

[@kb6069]

i absolutely respect your opinion; but I will also tell you this: sometimes adult things need to take a darn backseat to what the child wants, I seriously believe you missed the make here man! I think its not that other children get to be playmates, its that with only 1 YOU also are the playmate! got it, so you missed out on that fun!

[@deydraniadiancecht8298]

1 at most. At most! Yes, one at most. I said it. It needed to be said.

[@joanmary90]

Good for you. You should have a child because you want to, not because others tell you to.

[@Darkscenes-jp4ge]

Most parents have at least 2 or 3 kids having only 1 and having 4 is less common

[@kenchambers7137]

I want4

[@Darkscenes-jp4ge]

@@kenchambers7137 I want 0 stressfree life

[@GameGirraffe]

Thanks for this!

[@williamreymond2669]

My opinion just prior to watching the video - as I've always understood the transaction from the man's point of view - 'You have a child and I figure out how to pay for it.' Seems fair. The mother is naturally going to wind up doing an awful lot of the doing and the man is going to wind up doing an awful lot of the paying. But, history shows us this can work - if both parents are invested in passing both their genes and their culture into the future. If both parents are invested solely into maximizing career success then all bets are off. Let's see how things change *after* watching the video.

[@sabl6381]

My husband and I want to have 4 or 5 children because neither of our brothers seem like they're going to give the kids cousins. Cousins were one of my favorite aspects of childhood. I wish people would stop and think more before just shrinking their family trees. Lack of foresight.

[@CactusCowboyDan]

You clearly don’t know what you are getting into. Have you ever seen the show Malcom in the middle? Having 1 kid is challenging enough, 4 or 5? You are asking for constant chaos in your home for at least 18 years. I know, because I have a family of 4 cousins who were a challenging mess. 1 of them nearly killed himself, two joined the navy and came back with bad hearing, and the last one suffers from depression. All the while they were competitive with each other for attention. Also why do you feel you need to have that many? Because your two brothers don’t want any? So what? Nobody is asking you to take the burden of growing a pointless family tree. You’ve put that on yourself. And what are going to do, shame your brothers when they see you barely coping with a family of 5 kids that you chose to have?

[@inachang5394]

not one, never ever one. I had a friend who kept bringing up my relationship with my brother, since he was an only child and kept saying how he envied our relationship, yes it helped make peace with my brother after seeing how grateful I am to him much faster than other siblings, but I pity him to this day.

[@olyl3859]

Ina Chang being an only child is not that bad really. I’m an only child and I had a lot of friends when I was a kid. It’s still the case today :)

[@sassysally2995]

I'd love to have 3 or 4 😊

[@joanmary90]

I definitely thought one was way way easier than two. I had a big age gap between my two and an only child was easy.

[@Wessexshire]

One is graft, looking forwards to our second.

[@viorp6982]

Is "Graft" the name?

[@elorfmohamed3955]

The speaker mentioned only positive points but he ignored other points either positive and negative

[@barcodekilla1138]

Zero

[@strongindependentblackwoma1887]

This vid hits different to me i mean i have a brother who is almost 2 year younger than me but there was a problem....i have autism....and it is like i didn't socialize with him so much and so good let's say :/ In school it was even worse, i was always the oldest of the goddam classroom plus i didn't socialize

[@firstnamelastname-vt6et]

i’ve always thought that two kids was the perfect number

[@zeynand4039]

who is taking care of them?

[@einareinarsson8662]

Agree. One child is not optimal. It was great to have many siblings. I guess 4 would have been optimal and best if I were young enough but time running out for beeing the best father I want to be for all their stages in life. What the heck. Life dont just happen the way you wish.

[@KateeAngel]

I was an only child, and that worked great for me. Why do all people here feel the need to generalise so much?

[@meartin]

Old jp was 🔥😢

[@fieryfirevivin]

I always wanted 12. To match Jesus and the 12 disciples. My wife wants to work though and doesn't want to have more children 😢

[@sethapex9670]

one child isn't even good enough for preserving the population. you need at least 2 if not 3. Really though you should do as many as you can afford.

[@cryingcrane8173]

Who gives a fuck about preserving the population? Have zero.

[@sethapex9670]

@@cryingcrane8173 living in a good society requires contributing to it. If your some obese anti-social bugman, I understand that that doesn't interest you, but it does most people.

[@cryingcrane8173]

@@sethapex9670 A society is only useful as long as its structure can serve the people within it. Why should I sacrifice my children to the system? We don't need any more people, and you don't need to have kids to contribute to society. We don't need to keep growing our population. It would be better if we dwindled and went extinct, if anything. Maybe having kids to carry your burdens is the only contribution you're able to make to society.

[@sethapex9670]

@@cryingcrane8173 a society can only serve it's members if it first exists. It can only exist if the population DOESN'T go extinct. In order for the population to avoid extinction, it must replace itself each generation. Which means an average of 2.11 children per couple, with the extra to account for those who do not reach adulthood, or are infertile, or otherwise do not have kids. Of course there are other ways to contribute to society without having kids, however trying to make humanity go extinct is not one of them. If you invent something that makes other people more productive, such that they can provide for more kids, you have less responsibility to have them yourself. But two kids is the baseline everyone else should try for.

[@cryingcrane8173]

@@sethapex9670 You still don't understand. You're still speaking from the perspective of someone who thinks the society itself is more important than the people. If we do it right, society won't collapse just because our population starts shrinking. We can all build the system around that expectation and allow ourselves to die off. Then, when our population reaches zero, guess what? You're right that society will cease to exist. But that doesn't matter, because it won't be needed anymore. There would be no more people who need a system to protect them. That's all a society is at its core--an agreement between people in order to provide protection to everyone in the agreement. Which is a great invention, but it would be even better if there were no people who needed protection from anything. In other words, no suffering.

[@oxx-xxx]

Thats not true. What happen so with Big age gap between them? They dont amuse each other so is It not valid? Ive seen siblings of the same age praying for more attention from adults and more hiperactivty and competition for attention than a one child, who is use to amuse himself.

[@charlesstiebing6832]

the number is at least three: why? because child number 1 and child number 2 together can love child number 3. the same applies to married couples. together they fall in love with a third person, the baby.

[@MrHjacky]

Eh what?

[@bbqa357]

Came here cos i am wondering if i should have more kids and i think i have my answer.

[@geekstradamus1548]

As many as you can physically bear, while barely making it work financially. There is NOTHING more meaningful in life than your children, and nothing more indescribably fulfilling as having a horde of grandchildren running through your house every holiday.

[@bowieupland6112]

So you think that two homosexual men who cannot reproduce, should have as many children through surrogate mothers as possible?

[@KateeAngel]

No

[@jimbo8227]

1 is half the price of 2. Thus, easier.

[@darlingnine8803]

Beautiful

[@Ivan-jl6cf1]

Even if we think about the population in general, couples need to have at least 2 so the country's population won't decrease

[@cryingcrane8173]

Who cares?

[@areez22]

@@cryingcrane8173 You don't.

[@moonlightknight3342]

My parents had 11 so I'm good

[@ralphPSY]

3 should be maximum! Law should mandate it. Too many children going to poverty not having food to eat. 3 is actually a lot, but just to be a bit more generous. It’s crazy that parents can’t even take care of 1 very well.

[@justified2065]

As an only child, it's not good cause you can easily become dependent and narcissistic and have hard time in adulthood, we need to have siblings to learn how to compete and socialize at an early stage of development and through out life.

[@wakeup9738]

He is right in that point

[@willnill7946]

Do we have to analyze everything

[@viorp6982]

Yes.

[@Cosimate]

So don't analyze something, be blind, or wait for someone else to do it for you.

[@jordanhorst6]

we analyze everything! It's what allows for human beings to escape one set of tasks and venture into another. Otherwise we would just learn one aspect of something then never explore it further; like an animal who knows that fire hurts and therefore avoids it and will never learn to use it. Creativity is the ability to expand upon and utilize what we analyze. In my opinion.

[@willnill7946]

You cant over analyze everything

[@fornello123]

number of kids isn't worth a 2 minute conversation?

[@johncondon4647]

I think 3 should be the minimum (I would prefer a minimum of 4...) as the 1 on 1 time is completely impossible (not to mention the fact that the child understands that they may not necessarily be the favorite and they need to wait their ration of 'strokes)' as there are only 2 parents for 3 children (also makes expectations of others to be lower, too). The logic of this paradigm is that if they want to be a 'favorite' of somebody, they will have to look elsewhere - thus setting them up for a future personal 1 on 1 relationship elsewhere. As child 5 of 6 (6 of 7 by Moms' count) I felt myself quite blessed - especially since if I was quiet enough and was able to melt into the tribe, I could be more free to do as I pleased (quite fun - until the authoritative gaze found me. ) Another upside is that you have each other when you get older (once the parents are gone) - if you don;t screw it up. .

[@johncondon4647]

Besides... Kids are adorable... :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/lX-XhoGNjZt2Z9k

[@vanyoutubeburg8072]

@@johncondon4647 I read a study though that if you are having more than 2 kids, it's easier to have 4 than 3,, though I can't remember the reasons for that now... And kids ARE adorable, agreed.

[@diamondgoldsilver9899]

2 or 0 are the right answers

[@angela-op1bt]

Then you gotta make sure siblings don’t have so much age gap. Otherwise it wouldn’t serves the point.

[@richardd.murray4933]

Disagree. Never met an only child who longed for siblings. One child tends to amuse himself right from the get-go and mature quickly whereas siblings fight. A lot. Not all parents handle that well. Two often leads to a favorite. Few parents handle that well, either. Only child needs less amusement, more self-reliant, socializes with pals at the playground, activities s/he pursues b/c of interest. Grew up myself with kids whose mom babysat us. Treated us like unwelcome pariahs. Hell! One child was ideal for us. A quiet, introvert, very scholarly but popular when he wanted to be.

[@TomFranklinX]

Richard D. Murray "Never met an only child who longed for siblings" is not an argument at any level. Simple common sense would tell you that people, especially children, only knows what they want, and have no idea what they need. The child would not specifically say they want siblings, they would just say the wish they were less socially inept, less bored, less attention craving. A only child doesn't just magically become less needing of amusement, I have no idea how you came up with that theory, they are just less amused.

[@grottphd9090]

I don't think it's going to turn out nearly as well as you think it will.

[@inaboland9015]

You are trying to convince yourself because you have only the one. I could name a dozen that went on to have more than one because they never wanted a child to suffer like they did.

[@bigjorge863]

2 is hard

[@Demonoicgamer666]

If you have more than 3 kids it’s inevitable that parents drop the youngest child on the older because the parents don’t have enough time.

[@Achilles94627]

Ideally I'd like to have three children, but I'd like them to be triplets - two girls and a boy - so I can get it all out of the way in one go.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

1:00 ❓

[@RJ-gn6gi]

He’s right, I’m an only child and it sucks azz and have pretty bad anxiety as well

[@SomethingSomethingg]

Zero..zero kids is best.

[@hismajesty6272]

For you, yes.

[@ROMA--AETERNA]

Simple existential answer: you must create two or three children to be naturally-sustainable.

[@meganrausch8396]

I think this is a pretty narrow minded view of only children

[@tindus123]

0

[@JadaLynnOfChrist]

I want 6-8 kids

[@sneezysnake6407]

I think 2is fine

[@normietwiceremoved]

Me, youngest, two other siblings, 24, nervous wreck. Nope, your theory doesn't hold up, Jordan.

[@letekk5347]

I had 2 siblings and I wanted more siblings. so if God willing I am going to have 5 Kids

[@cryingcrane8173]

But what if they want to have less siblings? Then you've fucked up too. Have zero kids. Then none of these problems occurs.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

Large families are good for society.

[@richardd.murray4933]

Typically, the prudent parent has the no. kids s/he can afford. Few of us today and for some time now enjoy the unearned rapine of, for example, tenured profs. It's ridiculous for teachers to make 100s of thousands of $ when there is NO shortage of replacements! Docs and lawyers, too. Hundreds graduated every year! Better to have term limits to share the wealth! Life in the precariat, on the other hand, is real and challenging. Grateful we were able to afford to educate our one child. Sending more than one through university would not have been feasible financially. Also, all of us working longer, harder today for much less. Glad we had time to devote to one child. Wish more parents would consider one child for that reason alone.

[@annapetra1441]

i want at least 6. 9 sound good. if i will be able to have more than 9, even better. 🥰

[@MrBaixiong]

And are you going to stop?

[@KateeAngel]

And you'll force older ones to take car of younger ones?

[@MarcusEMunya]

I'd ideally opt for ten children A harem of five wives, two children each. The kids'll have an amazing appreciation for different cultures that way 😎

[@adamred5449]

I like the way you think ;)

[@ovellox]

"A harem of five wives" - in this case you need to see the other JP's video, where he gives arguments against polyamory. :P

[@areez22]

Only two each?

[@MarcusEMunya]

@@ovellox Oh so a few mens genes are unceremoniously weeded out of existence big deal.. let them try and revolt see what happens. Jk, kinda I might be one of those men lol

[@gameformation2100]

@@MarcusEMunya You should purchase a dragon for a pet as well. They can cook your food with their flames and you can fly from home to work on their back.

[@zealoustipp1538]

Five ⁉️⁉️ you need money for that.

[@rahilzakir9256]

Minimum 2 rest depends on your stamina 😄🤣

[@arthurhark1954]

I'll have 12 and send them all to mars

[@lsour8546]

The issue is that our generation can't even afford to have one child. He is speaking from his experience from a context that this generation will have a hard time relating to.

[@vanessat9309]

Totally agree.