How Most Of My Aikido Students Abandoned Me

Becoming an Aikido Sensei was a lifetime dream for me. Little did I know that it will become one of the most painful experiences in my life when I will lose most of my students. This is a story of what happened.
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Welcome to the Martial Arts Journey KZbin channel!
My name is Rokas. I'm a Lithuanian guy who trained Aikido for 14 years, 7 of them running a professional Aikido Dojo until eventually I realized that Aikido does not live up to what it promises.
Lead by this realization I decided to make a daring step to close my Aikido Dojo and move to Portland, Oregon for six months to start training MMA at the famous Straight Blast Gym Headquarters under head coach Matt Thornton.
After six months intensive training I had my first amateur MMA fight after which I moved back to Lithuania. During all of this time I am documenting my experience through my KZbin channel called "Martial Arts Journey".
Now I am slowly setting up plans to continue training MMA under quality guidance and getting ready for my next MMA fight as I further document and share my journey and discoveries.
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If you want to support my journey, you can make a donation to my PayPal at [e-mail]
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Check the video "Aikido vs MMA" which started this whole Martial Arts Journey:
► • Aikido Master Challeng...
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► / rokasleo
#aikido #martialarts #martialartsjourney

[@NinjaKidz]

Your story is nearly identical to mine. I owned my first Taekwondo school at age 22. I taught like my Korean instructor with accent and all. I eventually realized that the fear of making mistakes was preventing my progression and enjoyment.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Wow! It's incredible how we sometimes share even the most specific of stories. But I do believe that the fear of an instructor is a fairly universal aspect that derives from how the Martial arts culture is structured

[@FightCommentary]

Great reflection man!

[@gripacademyaikidojiujitsu]

Seriously this is a great one.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thanks Jerry! Thanks Matt!

[@HoarseHorseMerger]

Rokas "The Situation" Leonavicius

[@kvfk8917]

@@MartialArtsJourney There is a real Taiwan Grandmaster of Monkey Kung Fu WITH INSANE RESUME like part of army, special forces and others often found in the descriptions of the older videos found in Vahva fitness channel on youtube. They are making a course of the monkey kung fu for like $2000, maybe u can try and see if its real if not expose them? Explaining Tai Chi and others in their videos

[@masterchiefblank4885]

@@MartialArtsJourney at least you have atmitted your faults unlike most people my father figure tells me the hunger is in my head, just dont think about the pain why cant you fit in and I guess thats why Ive given up. Also if you believe in the 7 deadly sins there are 7 other things unknown to most of humanity

[@XDWX]

Its a testament of your great character that you didn't let the students control who you truly are. Many people fall into a trap where they have to keep up some kind of illusion of who they are because other people put them up on a pedestal.

[@HoarseHorseMerger]

Rokas "The Situation" Leonavicius

[@bluu713]

And that's how you end up with alleged masters who believe they can actually knockout opponents using non-contact energy attacks.

[@makenjikarate]

Students trying to be the "teacher's pet" is a big problem in traditional martial arts

[@TheBudoAcademy]

Yup!!

[@Tr1s]

Yeah and the people who treat it too much like a hobby will hold the more serious people back.

[@verybarebones]

@@Tr1s I don't see the issue with treating it like a hobby, same as any other sport, they should just be separate. It'd be ridiculous to blame chill people playing tennis only in the weekends holding back professionals tennis players.

[@HoarseHorseMerger]

Rokas "The Situation" Leonavicius

[@steverose3917]

thats why "real fake" martial artist are out there - no one trys to show them the flaws at there thinking, they doensnt want to destroy the picture of the "perfect" Sensei

[@patrickrichard5948]

Your ability to admit your shortcomings is what truly makes you special. Thank you for sharing these stories! 😎

[@allengainzmma]

Trust me bro you’re a special person and you truly have inspired me. I’ve been following since before you started MMA and the amount of respect I gained for you seeing how you looked at Akido realistically even though it’s really hard when you’ve loved it your whole life just goes to show you’re a special person that truly wants to be better.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you

[@nicoanon]

@@MartialArtsJourney kiss me

[@JohanLahtinen]

This is profound. Will have to adapt this approach to my own physics high school students!

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Awesome!

[@ktear]

You will truly be a great physics teacher with this attitude, I am envious of your students.

[@1190Jae]

Been following your Martial Arts Journey for a couple years now and I must say, by being honest with yourself and all of us on KZbin you have inspired and earned the respect of so many people outside of your dojo. We are all your students. Oss

[@kbeadle23]

After my first 1.5 hour straight 10 minutes round sparing night of bjj my coach handed me a beer. That's when I new this gym was going to work out great

[@dtibvgz8441]

The psychology behind decisions and behavior of both you and other martial artists you encounter in your path is fascinating. One of the interesting part for me is how usually more aggressive people lean towards MMA and from cocky they usually become humble after experiencing what violence can lead. While a lot of 'traditional' martial artists basically go the opposite route. Also how some people prefer to be guided by a fraud then to think for themselves.

[@tomaslucena607]

Comes down to the culture it's hard to have a big ego when there's always the possibility of getting dropped...as my Muay Thai instructor said "everyone's a hero until they get punched in the face"

[@kaiceecrane3884]

@@tomaslucena607 just don't get punched bra

[@bluu713]

So true! Started at a traditional kung fu school and ended up training Muay Thai at a modern gym and the difference is night and day. Felt like leaving a cult.

[@blainetrahan8883]

Man you inspire me to be a better person. Someone who looks at themselves critically is awesome. Thank you for being a real man and a real inspiration.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you very much Blaine. Means a lot to me

[@christophervelez1561]

Loves these stories because they are relatable

[@1TrueNature]

My Sensei was most humble, wise man and made sure everyone felt relaxed and happy. When learning the techniques, he said it does not matter wether it takes five minutes or five years. It was a great place to be and we were all very close.

[@davidwayne9982]

Iv'e seen a LOT of your vids-- some I loved- some I hated-- but THIS is without Doubt the BEST ONE EVER..... PRICELESS!!!

[@MrWeGe]

My first taekwondo sensei was a local bouncer. He was overweight, a bit of a drunk and a foul-mouth. He was also honest, supportive and friendly father figure for most of us. Best sensei I ever had!

[@Wolf-rb4or]

You mean sahboomnim right?

[@kurosakilito]

One of the most honest stories I've ever heard in 36 years of martial arts. This happens a lot in Wing Chun and Capoeira, the arts that I practice. Capoeira can even be very cult-ish so alot of this rang close to home. Great video man!

[@kevionrogers2605]

Capoeira is a religious practice it comes from the coming of age rites of practice from the candomblé religion, which is an evolution of the Angolan-Congolese folk religion from which it evolved. Same thing with Aikido its original development had nothing to do with sport or fitness it comes from the ideologies of Omoto Kyo Shintoism. Just as Yoga it's people in the global western civilization who try to make these activities something they weren't meant to be that's calisthenics, sports, and self-defense. What they truly are can be categorized as ethnoreligous training regime to convey particular doctrines through a martial art praxis just as a war dance, sword dance, stage combat, peking opera, shaolin kung fu, sumo, kyudo, iaido, taijichuan, baguazhuang, xingyiquan. Their reason of being is to convey ideology through movement. In the west sports such as fencing, wrestling, track and field confer the ideas of beauty, honor, fame, fairness, competitiveness, acknowledging others accomplishments, keeping records to improve upon, etc. The engarde salute in fencing is literally the sign of the cross without the religious meaning of being a dieu gard (due guard) while keeping the symbol meaning.

[@kurosakilito]

@@kevionrogers2605 a detailed answer and insight, but only half accurate when it comes to capoeira’s intent for self defense. Capoeira in its earliest and ritualistic form, know as capoeira Angola, was indeed ceremonial and completely looked different from what it looks like today (I.e. the newer styles of Regional and Miudinho styles which involve high kicks take downs and acrobatics), so up to that point you’re correct. But centuries ago when slaves from Angola were brought to Brazil, they continued their practice and began hiding their self defense techniques to keep their preparation for defense disguised. Though this is partly folkloric tale, it is difficult to get more detailed accounts of this evolution since capoeira history was mostly passed down orally and not more documented until 20th century when mestres like Pastinha and Bimba came into the scene and the more modern age of capoeira started. But, do not be fooled, if you got to a capoeira mcdojo it’s practicality will not be good, but there are MANY capoeiristas who will throw down and fight in and out of the roda and use roundhouses, take downs, submissions and even punches. Capoeira has some real fighting monsters, but not everyone likes the fighting aspect. Personally, after many injuries, I enjoy the dance and acrobatic elements myself but have trained and met many who are now MMA fighters whose roots are all from capoeira. Examples and videos can be shared readily :)

[@kurosakilito]

@@kevionrogers2605 an example of a stronger more fight-oriented game. There are times to show off acrobatics, be more ritualistic and cooperative, and then there are times to test your fighting. All of this is dictated depending on the rhythms played by the musicians or the circle (roda). Here’s a sample of some sao bento games which are more aggressive. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHLVe6eQrt6fnJI

[@kevionrogers2605]

@@kurosakilito I'm from New Orleans I grew up with practices that evolved from Engolo and Calinda from my grandfather, father, and uncles, so I had a much less developed divergent form of capoeira. I had a neighbor in New Orleans who is Afro-Brazilian and we practiced. In Birmingham, Alabama where I currently live the owner of Gracie Barra Pelham BJJ academy wife use to do Capoeira back in Brazil, and I did a few sessions with her; I went there to teach Judo class before the pandemic. Also Engolo is still practiced in Angola and Zambia.

[@danbaumann8273]

A very interesting exchange. The knowledge and experience of some people astounds me. Cheers.

[@harisankar2688]

There is also one thing you need to remember "you cannot teach or guide everyone to success. Only the teaching part is yours. The whole learning process still depends on the students". Great content brother 👍

[@JosephHurtsellers]

The clarity and the openness of that video just blew me away! To open your heart, that way is in my opinion, is the greatest aikido I've ever seen! (I'm not an aikido stylist... but have much respect). Bottom line, you attract the people you attract. When you're real, it attract real people.. And I'm not qualified to say it... But I think you have done something that is best described as badass.

[@yourtrappedinmygenjutsu]

I respect you alot for this story. I think this can apply to teaching in general and not just Martial Arts. Very well thought out vid !

[@nchawkin]

Carol Dweck's research on the "Fixed" vs. "Growth" mindset (also, "Knower" vs. "Learner" mindset) seems to fit right in here. Thanks Rokas!

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Carol's work is awesome!

[@weitheweeb7150]

8:51 You don't need to be special, you just needed to be you; by not trying to be, you are. This one is already inspired. Mad respect, bro!

[@MartialArtsJourney]

🙏🙏👊

[@kvfk8917]

@@MartialArtsJourneyThere is a real Taiwan Grandmaster of Monkey Kung Fu WITH INSANE RESUME like part of army, special forces and others often found in the descriptions of the older videos found in Vahva fitness channel on youtube. They are making a course of the monkey kung fu for like $2000, maybe u can try and see if its real if not expose them? He has very interesting topics and videos

[@marcparent9857]

I've found that the best type of instructors are the authentic ones who are open about their own journey. These are the types of instructors who prioritize their students progression by continuing their own progression and cutting out/combatting their ego. I've always been the most trusting of instructors who exhibit these traits and it informed my own approach as an instructor both when I was assisting in teaching aikido, teaching social dance, and teaching/mentoring people at work.

[@MasterOfBaiter]

I know that feeling of a weird atmosphere at a Dojo. It's the same reason why I started personally distancing myself from the others and trying to keep a more or less "professional" relationship. I feel that in rank based martial arts such as Japanese ones this kind of mentality develops quickly

[@ignacioalaggia2842]

Dude! Great video! I appreciate how committed you are to show your journey. Your content is deep, thorough and very well made. Keep it up!

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you!

[@Don1atUTube]

Sometimes the truth is hard to hear. To reveal your weakness is a test of character to yourself and to others. To find out what is inside. Training for the mind, spirit and heart. Respect to you.

[@jeswanthkumar4291]

This is the best advice I have heard in a long time dude. Thanks a lot.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you

[@yishnir]

I think your experience shows that many people approach martial arts as a religion, in that it is a way to define themselves as 'better than others', simply for being a 'member', in a way that has nothing to do with measurable skills, actions, or outcomes. In your initial approach as a teacher, you inadvertently formed a 'church'... when you showed humanity, you 'fell from grace' in the eyes of those who wanted an idol they could affiliate themselves with... and later, with deliberate openness, you formed a community. Thanks for sharing this slice of your experience running a school. On an note unrelated to martial-arts, all the back-end work you put into your videos--writing, editing, recording, cutting together illustrative clips--your content is really high-quality and impactful.

[@petergriffen437]

Hey rokas, great video. I think this is very insightful to talk about especially amongst the tma scene where everything in most dojos is very much rigid, and when it is taught that way and there isn't much place to admit any mistakes and you aren't entirely honest about things it creates a toxic environment.

[@cazualgamerjp]

thank you for sharing this story. it's something that everyone, not just martial artists, can all learn from.

[@rasmuslernevall6938]

This is one of the best and most interesting videos I have seen on KZbin, and boy I have seen me some KZbin clips i my days. This story would make a great movie, be it Hollywood or independent. You have touched upon something that goes to the very bottom of the human experience. Thanks for your honesty and sharing.

[@Bm0ney]

It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to be a great martial artist that you can forget it’s also about becoming a better person too. Thanks for sharing your journey and reminding us not to forget about becoming better and more balanced marital artists and human beings. Ps. I’m also a huge fellow comic book fan :)

[@squirrelbong]

Amazing video man. Thanks for taking us on this journey with you. I consider myself one of your youtube students.

[@StubenhockerElite]

As Bruce Lee said: "The perfect fighter is an ordinary man with a lazer like focus"

[@theScribe]

6:00 After hearing this I immediately knew the end of the story :D P.S. Really appreciate your content. It takes a lot of courage and commitment to do what you do (and I mean your channel overall). When I encountered some bullshit in martial arts, I simple refused to practice them any longer and choose a different life path instead. I am not regretting it , but sometimes I do have an itch to try again.

[@jessicarichards8531]

wow, that story was incredibly moving.

[@ochs-hema]

we teach historical swordfighting. I always look up here to learn something.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

That's very cool. And HEMA is awesome! I'm looking forward to make a video on HEMA in the future :)

[@FlottisPar]

@@MartialArtsJourney Yes! Please do!

[@JohnyB1989]

yeah thanks for your teaching

[@ochs-hema]

@@MartialArtsJourney just let me know if you need some intel or contacts or you want to work together :)

[@ochs-hema]

@@JohnyB1989 thx ridi. always appreciated. our club is focusing on teaching, recreating and "playing" with the sword. there is no hirarchy or such. i love this atmosphere too and as a teacher it is "easy" to teach because there is no pressure. but the other side of the coin is that our club is not focused on tournaments or fame. so in the end the students should decided what they up to. having fun and having a great time learning HEMA or drills and tournaments. both intensions are noble in my eyes but complete different ways to teach.

[@bertrandbuisson3.14]

Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s truly inspiring. You are authentic. 👍

[@ayemjake]

You discovered Humility which is one of the most essential virtues of most if not all martial arts practitioners... a virtue that unfortunately is now rarely practiced.

[@adammiernowski3652]

The video started with theme "like father like son" as you unconsciously repeated what your Sensei did. But you realized it, you saw patterns, connected the dots and moved on. You actually accepted criticism, you listened unlike your Sensei. People always look for perfection, need their Gods, Idols, Gurus, that is why leaders don't show weaknesses, or actually their human side. You shocked your students, the magic bubble popped, can't really blame them if thats how they felt, but you have nothing to do with it. If they leave you when you show them your true self be happy, because now only People who follow you the way you are, are surrounding you :) You tried your best from the bottom of your heart and you still continue to grow as a person, a Martial Artist and a teacher. Open minded, humble, talking the truth, learning on mistakes, moving on. Love it. Love all videos I've seen so far. I'm binge watching now. Mad respect to you friend. As they say, the journey is the destination! :)

[@docstrangelove1347]

Kudos for being so reflective. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. True strength is to admit your mistakes and try to improve - hiding your mistakes and flaws is weakness. I wouldn't trust anyone, sensei or not, if they gave an impression of flawlessness. I'd always pick a mentor who isn't afraid to admit flaws. That mentor is willing to learn and will try to improve. That is the kind of person I want to look up to. Many aren't searching for that, many seek perfection to guide them. And I don't want to blame them. But in the end you're living in a lie. Learning never ends, for anyone. I'd want a mentor who is willing to learn.

[@FermataDunaj]

My aikido voyage started 20 years ago, as student I noticed this behavior too, and my solution was to move on. Having several teachers in aikido is refreshing and keeps you open for new things. Recently started with kickboxing and loving it. Looking back at my Firdt dojo, I miss it sometimes, but times move on, and so did i

[@kevingibbs1256]

Bloody brilliant! This was a fantastic video

[@EstellammaSS]

It’s always the case that comes with change, some like it some don’t. The more drastic the change the more likely old people would leave, but in turn new people would come. It’s not about how many people like you, but what kind of people you want around you. I used to felt like I have to build a facade of the wise man that has an answer to everything, because Im afraid what being seen as normal would cost me. But perhaps a blessing in disguise, mentally I just couldn’t handle the lies and pressures to keep it up. Seeing people full heartedly believe in me, when I’m not even sure what I’m talking about just broke me over and over until I couldn’t handle the guilt anymore. When it happened, most left. Only a few stayed. After a few years I found myself in a new place and decided to live more as my true self, in more of a care free attitude. I’m now 100x happier and at ease with people I can trust my weaknesses on around.

[@uncontrollablemartialartsa1804]

Your students didn't abandon you, they abandoned reality and the truth martial arts in themselves

[@expomm]

An you have inspired me, thanks for sharing, you are doing so much good, congratulations.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you 🙏

[@VaroomKrish]

Upon recognising you were vulnerable to burdensome delusion, you adjusted your stance /perspective, directed delusional paths trajectory and landed in a streamlined efficient position. Real aiki mastery, respect. Truth is individualistic and fluid, hope you find your next in MMA.

[@kierankennedy4765]

You and I are all most the same, only I'm still scared to come out and do my thing out of fear of the trolls and stalkers. I think it's awesome how you got your dojo back. I think your great. Keep. Doing what your doing my friend. 👍🙏

[@tomasarctur7355]

You have seen what my Former Sifu was actually trying to enforce. Good job man!

[@Greentunic84]

You're a smart dude! I had a major eye roll when you said students called you a " fake teacher" 😒. Cheers! 🍻

[@branokrajcovic8863]

Great analysis, and thank you for sharing your experience

[@romalevin1762]

Huge story, thank you for sharing!!

[@eddietheblasian2043]

Great topic and discussion to be had with self and with your students.

[@0713mas]

IMO this is why many BJJ gyms or even Muay Thai or Kyokushin/ Seido style fighting schools, have less in house problems. Not only do most issues get worked out on the mats. When instructors roll or spar with all their students, it not only humbles the instructor. It shows the students their instructors are human demonstrates actual functional skills, all while giving the student a fair measure of their own shortcomings and improvements!

[@philipetacco2983]

Great!! Thank you for the inspiring vídeo. It is a good path!

[@lofiholic]

Man, you have such an amazing spirit, thank you.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

🙏

[@JoaoGabriel-ty1zm]

if inspire is still your intentions, i can say by miself that after watching your videos i decided to stop procrastinating and comeback to training the muay thai that i love so much... i stoped because of stupid reasons but in some way, your videos make me realise that all i want for my life is become a better version of myself and i finded a way trough the martial arts. So all i have to say to you is THANK YOU! ps. sorry if a did some mistakes on the writing, english is not my first leanguage

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Wow thank you! That's really awesome!

[@DevilDogMartialArts-]

This is one of the best videos you've made because it's something that should be talked about more. Students putting instructors on a pedestal is a major issue in martial arts. It leads to unwillingness to grow technique because it's not how so and so taught it. It causes cultish followings and teachers who use grooming behaviors to abuse their students. It leads to infighting. It leads to false belief in the infallibility of the teachings. It's important to do a few things to counter this as a teacher. You must downplay your ability to your students when they start propping you up on a pedestal. I like to tell self deprecating humor and I don't let my students call me Master Greg, and just Greg is fine. I spar with them a lot and when they catch me with stuff, I celebrate their victories. I don't point out when I catch them, but when they catch me I am very vocal about it.

[@ignaciobrizzio3999]

And now you're really inspiring others!

[@andrewwright8433]

Your a brave man and unfortunately sacrifices have to be made...there’s not many people who would do what you have done but it’s so important what you are doing, we should always look for the truth in history..

[@xFlow150]

Great video! Gives me a lot of food for thought.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Awesome! Glad to hear it

[@doublet630]

Good video here. I defiinetly relate to thinking my coach is "perfect"

[@jhavajoe3792]

Great video. It goes beyond martial arts and encompasses the general aspect of improving your personal life, where you alleviate stress by doing away with constant pretentiousness. You generally become a happier person. You can't fool a wise and intelligent person. They might play along, but will figure it out soon enough. Never met a perfect person- no sense trying to pretend you're one.

[@tetsurokawabata3523]

Well done! You showed true courage! Thanks for sharing.

[@Herowebcomics]

It is sad to see that students can do that! But It is good to find out who are true friends and who are fake!

[@rozrywkicentrum1727]

9:20 you're best friend behind you're back :) He show you the true is better that liveing on lies and... Loving people and the sport too 😊

[@leecarterreppinjesuschrist7686]

I’m not even into martial arts but enjoy your videos and honestly you seem like a great, honest person. We need more people like you in the world. The first set of students who left sound like the sort of people you don’t need in your life. God bless. Jesus Christ is the way

[@paavohirn3728]

Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!

[@blacksheepwall79]

The biggest impediment to learning is fear of failure. Embrace your failures.

[@CaptPostmod]

Sounds like when you presented yourself as perfect, you mostly acquired students interested in being perfect themselves. Once you showed that you're human like anyone else, you got students interested in being human, which is far from perfect.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Good point

[@coco-e5s]

But more genuine and a lot cooler.

[@oknevals]

Many of people joining traditional Martial Arts are not interested in fighting aspects if it. They want fairy tale, super hero cartoon style of life. And they will live that pretend life with dedication. They don't want reality. Took me while to figure it out. Seen almost empty dojos with quality instruction and loaded TKD clubs where they spent more time selling T-shirts, photo shoots and taking exams for stripes every two weeks than doing anything useful. And, they were all completely happy with what they had. It is good business. You burst the bubble you lose business.

[@InfinityAtlantic1]

Great reflection and evolution in thinking. I too began teaching early and made so many mistakes.

[@Arkhangel99]

Great videos!

[@michaelmcdermott4547]

Your best video yet! You're doing a great job.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you 🙏

[@christophervelez1561]

Love these stories

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thanks Christopher! I hope you'll like this one too! 👊

[@christophervelez1561]

@@MartialArtsJourney year it struck a chord with me. I had a similar experience teaching BJJ.

[@michelnoleo4523]

Very Inspiring ! Thanks for sharing with such honesty your journey as a practioner and teacher.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

🙏

[@VesiustheBoneCruncher]

Showing honest flaws is far preferable to showing false perfection. Teaching someone how to manage “failure” is one of the most important lessons there is, and to my mind very closely associated with Aikido philosophy around guiding rather than forcing, and protection over aggression.

[@mattd6638]

Super insightful! Thanks for sharing

[@Sednars]

You're more brave than I though, good for you to choose your own values over the idealisation of who you are.

[@maxzhao8331]

I am always inspired by your videos!

[@MartialArtsJourney]

😊🙏

[@ktear]

What a great message. Thank you for your insight!

[@Lehmann108]

Excellent insight. Coaches/senseis become unconscious father figures for us and we seek their approval because of the failings of our own fathers in bringing us into adulthood. Your attempt to be more transparent and honest with your students "backfired" because they were not ready to enter adulthood, as it were. You were preventing them from projecting a God/hero archetype into you. They didn't want you to be flesh and blood!

[@englishhammer3854]

This is the best video you've put out so far

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Thank you. I'm very glad you've liked it.

[@englishhammer3854]

@@MartialArtsJourney honesty is always appreciated & attracts much more

[@Braindazzled]

This is a very brave video to make! It's not easy to look at yourself so honestly. At the same time, it sounds like you started out with a few strikes against you that you really had no control over. You were apparently in a place with relatively few martial arts masters around, so you were really dependent on your Sensei for all your MA knowledge, and it sounds like he had some serious character flaws. A sensei with a big ego who who covers his mistakes with bluster is very dangerous to a new student because they have so much authority. I've visited some schools where the teacher's ego taints all the students like a bad smell, but they don't have enough experience to know better. Also, 22 is a really young age to start teaching anything! Age brings a lot of perspective that nobody has in their 20s. And it sounds like you didn't have an older teacher to fall back on when you started teaching, so you were kind of stranded on your own. Improving yourself, like improving your MA technique, is an project that never ends.

[@Voronza]

Such a great story!

[@arbogast4950]

I remember watching this kids (early 20's) soul get crushed when he found out our Sifu had a drug problem in his youth. "OMG.... YOU used to do drugs 😱". Without any senior students there, the new kids would develope this weird mental image of our instructor. Its almost like they brought the cult with them. Too many movies 🎥 I think

[@ShinRyojin]

It’s a shame that the students couldn’t appreciate the fact that your Sifu got clean and sober and learned from his mistakes. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. But the past doesn’t define us.

[@Catgat37]

There was a space in my life where I too became involved in drugs. Getting sober and realizing my past mistakes actually gave me a lot of clarity in regards to my martial arts journey.

[@MR-fx5td]

And this video is great source of inspiration, thanks

[@Rotorzilla]

After 22 years of aikido I have left also. I trained in Japan for 16 years 2 years in Thailand, 2 years usa.

[@FireAndSigh]

What a special path you've walked. Inspiring sir.

[@danfrancisco3891]

Wow, I ilke your vids, sharing what you learn in life as a general not just in martial arts. Nice.

[@TheNakedWombat]

Very interesting. I never came across a martial art instructor approaching students as without imperfections. Certainly came across school teachers like that.

[@Cinnamon15642]

It's interesting hearing your story. I'm 57 now and started teaching martial arts and combatives in my mid 20's. My father and other family members were training since I was born, so I developed at an early age. To be honest, the students I've had in my 50's get a much better deal than those when I was in my 20's. Keep in mind that students grow, but so do teachers. Don't be too hard on yourself...😄

[@jackarmistead5353]

Great insight and transparency

[@shinobisensei24]

Wow I'm on my marital arts journey and its good to hear this stories

[@MartialArtsJourney]

🙏

[@vincent-antoinesoucy1872]

This feel so true, happened in my karate dojo as well, teacher was littereally kicking people out of the dojo for questioning his interest and involvement in our personnal lives, wich was way out of line in retrospect.

[@MartialArtsJourney]

Whoa 😦

[@mattbugg4568]

Hey being honest with yourself is the first lesson of confidence. Owning your mistakes failures and accomplishments is the second step. And learning to know that these things make you and being ok with laughing at it is true confidence. The world people and situations were in all try to kick us in the but to clam up and have these feelings or insecurities but thats not mastery of ourselves. The hard work of confidence is being entirely ok with who you are. And deciding what you need and what you dont.

[@tarkajedi3331]

Keep on your journey mate!!!

[@CoachKussenVuist]

Is phillosophical and reflective talk normal in aikdo classes? I mean its sonds like your first group became cultish and when you changed so they left to find the next thing. i'm a boxing coach so its pretty straight foward, they like my classes but they do not see me like this flawless being like you where to them. Cold you maybe make a video on how aikido classes function? im intrigued.

[@edder7157]

So, you’re telling me that, after you abandoned aikido after a couple of sparing sessions and a couple of exhibition fights, and denouncing aikido on YT, you still have a dojo and teach aikido? Smells funny to me.

[@-WiseGuy-]

Brilliant video! Your wisdom is commendable.👍

[@podaly]

You are such an interesting man of self-refection, integrity, and honesty. I enjoy your videos and what you bring to martial arts.

[@matthieuparthonnaud8023]

thx for the story. destroy ego and just be.