How Moving Out Saved My Relationship with My Strict Asian Parents

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Who else had strict parents growing up? 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@alianacabaluna8084]

Filipino Parenting is somewhat tough love

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

@@alianacabaluna8084 oh 1000P! 😂

[@jossuegarcia1488]

Me but my parents aren’t filipino. There Mexican. And I am relating so hard rn. I have not moved out yet but am planing to.

[@BebeDoang]

Me 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@Myalibre09]

i can relate in that parents wont normally apologize to their kids

[@NWestPI]

I told my mom about my intentions to move and she told me to never show my face to her again and that she's ashamed of me. and im 30 years old. feels like moving out isn't going to help my relationship with her, but doesn't seem staying here will be much better...

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I’m so sorry to hear that! Boundaries are important, and yes it’s hard at first, but the space really is so much worth it

[@User-uw7uw]

I'm in a similar situation. I'm 21, and bought an accommodation without telling my parents (which was bad, I'm not gonna lie) and told them only a few days before I had to move and they practically disowned me and I feel horrible. I'm in my room now and I feel awful

[@NWestPI]

@@User-uw7uw :/ yeah in very similar boats right now. It's been awkward here at home. My dad talks to me seems to be cool with it all. But there's this huge negative energy coming from my mom and it feels like I'm walking on eggshells every time I leave my room. I don't know how to feel about it some days. I know I didn't do anything wrong or messed up, but I guess its the conditioning of having parental approval for everything that kills the mood about moving out.

[@itsmariale2701]

My parents flip their shit when I needed space to clear my mental health. They didn’t care and blame on me. I was dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts back then and they said it my fault I’m stupid etc. but idk how my parents can’t understand space can help one another.

[@lenaramoon4617]

@@NWestPI why is it always our mothers who are the most cruel

[@valeriesuiker8565]

I want to move out for my mental health because I am always fighting with my mom and sister and the relationship can be so toxic at times but I'm soooo scared :(

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I feel you, i was scared too! But I think it turned out ok in my experience :)

[@fiona2488]

Moving out of home for college when I was 19 was a game changer for me and my dynamic with my parents for sure! Brought so much more positivity, fewer arguments and conflicts and made us closer and helped us appreciate each other more and love each other better! We are so so so much closer now.

[@areyoukirringmeirriyaa]

how did you deal with money? i’m 19 as well and want to move out

[@fiona2488]

@@areyoukirringmeirriyaa I worked while I was in college to pay for rent and food and I had some scholarships to help with tuition and some student loans too

[@meia2525]

I'd love to have a better relationship with my parent when i move out but, they never actually listen to me and never understand that i am my own person and i can make my own choices in life - everything has to be about them, just overall very controlling and toxic. I will be risking losing everyone for the sake of my mental health, i will still do it tho.

[@realpristine]

Moving out is the best piece of mind ever ✨🙏🏾

[@itsmariale2701]

My parents are both Vietnamese they are crazy af strict. They make my physical and mental health horrible. They so negative. I always ask can you explain more reasons and details as to why this is a rule Bc I live with them. Or why can’t I do this or whatever when I am 22 years old. They yell at me for talking back and will kick me out for not listening. Idk what to do like man and they won’t take advice from their relatives who are a lot more laid back.

[@ngocquynhgiaonguyen954]

Girl for realll

[@yoleeisbored]

Try more to get your relatives to convince or tell them that you're a friendless loner outcast who wants to take revenge on bullies (or become obsessed with anime hentai) then they might worry and chill out a bit

[@itsmariale2701]

I’m so happy I found you girl. Because I am struggle so bad at the moment with my relationship with my parents.

[@Shreddhaa]

I completely agree with you! My relationship with my parents also definitely improved after I moved out

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Love to hear that 💕

[@sabrina2728]

I'm very close with my parents and i'm an only child but i really want to move out because I want to be independent and I want to be able to make my own decisions without any interference. My mom is highly attached to me and they (mom and dad) make me feel guilty whenever I bring up my desire to move out. I'm 26 years old but I still get told to come home (though I'm starting to learn to just come home when I feel like it because I'm an adult and I know i'm not doing anything wrong). I don't want to break my parents' heart but at the same time, I know I need my own space for self growth.

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I felt these same feelings. And it’s hard at first! But I think it’s natural (and good!) for the child to want to seek independence - my parents only started seeing me as an adult when I did move out

[@thewendyzoo]

Any updates? 😢

[@mariaquidato604]

I just told my mother about how I wanna move out and she didn't take it ok at all. I'm gonna be 25yrs. old in 4 months by the way. I'm working at home and earning much enough to live on my own and for the longest time I only just introduced my very first boyfriend to them (it took that long for me to introduce a boyfriend since they're so strict and religious and thinks of an image so much) Past few days we been fighting a lot and she already said so many rude and mean words to me whenever I try to communicate my side it's like I'm wrong and she knows better since she's older (you know Pinoy mom stuff) and I just don't want this to keep going cuz it's just going to hurt her and I. (I guess you already see the picture of my situation) Now I don't know if should still continue my plan of moving out even if she doesn't agree with it and just show her the good effects of it as I go about it OR should I just follow all she says and stay so I won't feel guilty and selfish about leaving her.

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I think you will know the best answer your situation, but I always vote for taking caring of yourself first, which usually translates to better relationships with others :)

[@aliciawang4525]

@@ItsShanonMaglente so that are not strict anymore? Or still is but a little bit ?

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

@@aliciawang4525 still a lil strict, but they’re more understanding and respect that I’m an adult now !

[@estrella8815]

The sentiments that you expressed at the beginning of the video is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!!

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Omg, you’re not alone girl ❤️

[@estrella8815]

@@ItsShanonMaglente Yes, thank you so much for posting these videos!!! I have already watched several of them! Finally mustering up the courage to do it and tell them soon!!

[@T.C556]

A very balanced and respectful way of expressing the hardships that arise between parents and grown children.

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Thank you!

[@thinzki44]

Maybe your a victim of Narcissist family system...ito Yung problema nag blend sa culture natin dahil sa pagiging family centered.

[@keniavarela7169]

I enjoyed your video ❤ It allowed me to take a step back to feel and understand everything that has come from moving out of my parent's house. Thank you for the nice, heart-felt video :) ❤ Have a great day!

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Thank you for watching and for the very kind words! 😍

[@pan1yo]

I need to move out.... But its so hard with strict parents and no money

[@areyoukirringmeirriyaa]

SAME.. they won’t even let me go 10 minutes in the nearby city or work when the owner actually told me I could work

[@annalisaslifestyle4267]

@@areyoukirringmeirriyaa try online work that way your home and can make an income hope this helps

[@MaiyingChang]

i relate to this so much 😩🙏🏽

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I feel you girl!!

[@Aragonpatrish]

im crying while watching this and i dont know why. :(((((((( i want to move out so baaaaaddddasdnujanfj

[@minaxpenguin8390]

same i want to move out so bad rn but mom said i can only move out after i graduated in college 6 more years to waitttt

[@michaelnguyen1795]

Thanks for making this video, lady. It somewhat helps me in the process of wanting to move out

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

You are very welcome! Good luck!!

[@michaelnguyen1795]

Update on that, 2 years later... It was the most beautiful thing I've experienced, thanks!

[@BargainswithLove]

You have great content in your videos. Keep it up!

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

I appreciate it, thank you so much!!

[@hoang3361]

My parents are Vietnamese and they are strict asf. Last year they destroyed my relationship and it affects my mental health a lot. I changed to a different person since that time. Don’t want to tell my parent anything, even my sisters. They just want me to go uni but i don’t want to, cuz i can not find anything that I like and I don’t want to be in debt. They forced me too much, so took a random course and now it is horrible. I’m 21. Wanna move out so bad, but don’t want to hurt them. Feeling terrible rn

[@pk56403]

I'm half asian. I was raised in a white family. While I didn't fit in, I'm glad I wasn't micromanaged like asian parents seem to commonly do.

[@MChristina]

Im planning on moving out next yr wish me luck

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Best of luck!!

[@Ria_hymns]

All my ex’s can relate to this 😟

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

😲

[@wrenchguy2937]

I relate to this alot

[@mizzcrazygal]

sounds ridiculous but im 30 soon and my parents wont let me move out, my dad actually a really bad person. hed make my life extremely difficult if i leave eg once he called the police on me and made some really disgusting accusations about me but hes smart he made out as if he genuinely though it happened so he got away with it. and i didnt get charged cus it was all fake. this happened cus i went out from 10 am came back at 4pm when i was 28. so me leaving will be HARD AF. plus now my dad hires priv investigators to spy on me. and my mum too needy, she needs me to be with her 24/7 or she cant breathe -___- but im still moving, i have so many plans, ive planned it out .... ive told my doctor everything for evidence lol ... im just REALLLLLLLY nervous lol

[@SaraswotiProduction]

If I may ask how old are you? Becoz I am 21, and thinking down the lines, or should I wait 2 years more

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Hi! I was 26 when I moved out on my own. Everyone had their own timeline of course, so it’s whatever works best for you!

[@AlekaDanielle25]

My partner and I are moving out of my parent's place after 2 months - my Dad is super sweet to us, however my filipino Mum is on the stricter end. We're moving out this Saturday and it's a new beginning for us - is there anyway I can DM you on any social media platform? Thank you so much for this video! :)

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Sure, you can message me here or on Instagram, @shanonmaglente :)

[@AlekaDanielle25]

Thank you! I just DM’d you via ig 😊

[@toriezi]

I heard you mention in your first video your parents are catholic. Do you feel you still identify with believing in God or do you think growing up with your parents changed your belief and response to religion/believing in God in general

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

That’s a great question! I still have my faith and believe in God, though I don’t practice to the same extent as when I lived at home

[@toriezi]

@@ItsShanonMaglente gotcha! I’m glad you still have your faith as a fellow believer myself. I know parents who are religious who behave strictly or abusively can affect their children’s own view of God, which is why I wanted to see how you felt still in your own relationship with God. I actually am currently dealing with realizations of how me leaving home soon is important for my parents betterment as well our relationship. I saw your other video a while ago but this video of two years ago popped up this morning in my feed. So I knew that was a way of God showing me that good can come out of me moving out. Thank you for sharing your story and im glad things got better with your family. I will keep you in my prayers 💕❤️

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

@@toriezi thank you, same to you 🙏🏼 😊

[@urfavgaycousin]

I have to stay at least 6 more months to be able to move out I wish to god I. Could move out tonight. I wish I had money or somewhere to just go.. ugh

[@ItsShanonMaglente]

Hang in there!!