How Narcissists Respond To Troubles By Becoming Bad

[@brucefriedman1]

Narcissists thrive on difficulties because the anxiety it causes affords an opportunity for them to exploit the situation for personal gain. Narcissists have no problem whatsoever embedding themselves in disturbances and then walking away as if nothing ever happened.

[@shar240]

The difficulties are caused by acting "in charge". Now that we're adults, no one is "in charge". there's no end to the cruelty, I guess, until they win whatever game they made up.

[@sueg2658]

@@shar240True. And even when our employer/ narcissistic boss is in charge in the workplace, we still have the option of quitting. That may be very a difficult decision, but it’s not impossible. Bottom line: our sanity is priceless.

[@samdevallance1527]

So true!

[@shar240]

@sueg2658 but why do have to run away from them. Dr. C's teaches how to recognize the behavior, and not react to it. And if we run, we'll probably just run into another one

[@bobbarker1798]

So true.

[@davidkelleyfreyer2392]

Dr Les , the brighter your light the more they attack you for it .

[@susannakotoff7095]

and yet they claim to have the light of christ with their displaced exploitive anger and you have to carry on like nothing happened. No resolve ever cause they never do anything wrong and entitled.

[@fredaankobia4447]

Amen to that, they up the sadism to beyond.Damaging or really trying to destroy your every being.😢

[@susannakotoff7095]

every conversation is extremely competitive and gets turned into inspired bible sermon. Then the gaslighting and her chaos ramps up being in christ.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So true.

[@GeorgeRay-u7y]

@@susannakotoff7095 Yes. "Super Christians" aren't Christian at all.

[@BushcraftQuebec]

They will never commit to admit they are wrong and work on their flaws without justifying

[@joelbumba2006]

They will play anger games to get away from their evil ways. It’s called blameshifting...

[@BaraSchmidt]

Performative. No Empathy. Devaluing. No Accountability. Dismissive .Transactional. Deceptive. Betrayal Prone. Dehumanizing. They are "BAD" Actors. Literally and Figuratively. Don't fall for Their schtick. Healthy is playing, everywhere! Stay Healthy!!

[@thecustodian1023]

What has always baffled me is how the ones in my life will flip from acting like they are the brilliant minds that run the world to being mush-brained old fools being victimized by the world the instant they find out their pride-filled idiocy is going to get them in trouble.

[@BaraSchmidt]

@@thecustodian1023 Yup. A mask for every occasion. And genuine as a $3 bill.

[@caroleminke6116]

Sounds like a certain politician who’s about to destroy our democracy & set women back 250 years. Next we will have to vote like our spouses or lose that right too! Probable repeal the married women’s property act! Glad I never married a narcissist… Jung said if you see an attractive but single woman then she’s also smart. My dysfunctional family stopped with me & my younger sister, who got an education then careers in helping professions. My first vote @ 18 was for Carter & this time his last vote @ 100 is for our freedom from tyranny

[@shar240]

They can play so nice to your face. Such good acting 👏 I'm a gray rock back 😂 you better not be cold to their face. They don't fool me anymore

[@BaraSchmidt]

@@shar240 Once we see it, we can't unsee it.

[@kristirose2289]

My husband is the narcissist. But to the world he appears to be the nicest, kindest most helpful man. It makes me feel like I am crazy! Last week our marriage therapist finally saw him swell up and attack me. It’s hard to get support when no one else sees the behavior 😢

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Make sure you watch Saturday's new video about the covert narcissist. Glad your therapist caught on.

[@kristirose2289]

@@SurvivingNarcissism thank you!

[@wendyhare1600]

Oh they can put on a show .. I know how you feel

[@sarahstrong7174]

Gus has heard it all before & will not be worried by any of it.

[@susanbennetttellstales7998]

I think Gus is concerned by his paw temperature in this one. Makes me feel like sneaking up and giving that exposed paw a little tickle.

[@amypemberton528]

Dr. Carter, I’d like to take a moment and thank you for the extensive part you’ve played in my healing. I began screening your videos during my divorce five years ago. At that point, I was desperate to get my head above water. I’d been drowning for 25 years in my marriage to a sociopath and it’s taken years to catch my breath. To this day, I still have occasions when I believe there might have been more I could have done to make my marriage work-which is why I stay tethered to your videos. They remind me that, with only one paddle being used on one side of the boat, I was never going to move ahead. I simply would have moved in circles for the remainder of my life. Team Healthy. That’s perfect. This is the first time in my life I’ve consistently experienced strength and peace, and it’s because I’m navigating life on your team.❤

[@jelibra1967]

Love the one paddle analogy😊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks so much for taking the time to share this, Amy. You just made my day. You're why I do the videos! I wish you the best as you continue moving forward. Dr. C #TeamHealthy

[@pamchesler242]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@texaspatty458]

@@amypemberton528 .....ride that wave Amy , you don't have to go in circles anymore . 🛶 ❤️

[@kathyjudson6754]

@@amypemberton528 Amy, I think the same thing as I now watch the decline from narcissistic personality to a sociopathic personality . At least, I am not in a relationship with him now . We will rise again🙏🏻

[@amychen2504]

The idea of people going bad/rotten like a food is really helpful. When people get so twisted that they've just gone off in a way that can't be remedied. Thank you for the useful metaphor.

[@T00124]

What I noticed about a male I dated 2 1/2 years ago, is that when I tried to hold him accountable and warned him I would break up with him if it wasn’t working out, ended up breaking up, then tried to make it work again, he turned back to being “bad” by getting drunk, smoking, and hanging out with the wrong crowd again. He was a wimp and manipulative. That is something a child/teen who did not have guidance would do.

[@MGTOWPsyche]

it is always a bluff for them until you do walk out

[@rosec6680]

Yes, my ex did this all the time. Gave him too many chances. Marrying him was my biggest mistake and regret. They are stunted and have no facility for growth.

[@T00124]

@@MGTOWPsyche Exactly!

[@T00124]

@@rosec6680 Agreed! Thanks for sharing.

[@yukio_saito]

That happened in my previous jobs. Things became more chaotic when toxic coworkers and bosses tried to fix problems. 😧😰😖

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

🙄 oh this sounds familiar. We had one person at work who kept encouraging you to come to him when you had a problem/ hit a snag... He was constantly on the "lookout" for such opportunities. Once he knew where a weak spot in the fabric was, he started prodding & pulling... what once was a small (fixable) pinpoint, turned into a hughe empty hole with tentacles at all sides... Un-fixable after he had interfered. I never voluntarily told him any issues. I would just grind my teeth and either fix it myself/ or simply endure. Much better than him steamrolling in and causing a hughe fall out on all sides. I am sure people who went to him with an issue severely regretted it afterwards.

[@yukio_saito]

@@PantaRhei-wz5zn Yes. It's no use asking them for help.

[@MGTOWPsyche]

narcs cant do or fix anything they usually break things and make things more chaotic, like having a toddler try to fix a computer...not gonna end well

[@MarianneCatherine]

Ugh! The less said, the better! ZIP THE LIP!!! 😳😯😒

[@texaspatty458]

Becoming bad ? 🤔 All the narcs I've met ARE BAD and pretend to be kind and sincere . Just my observation .

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Excellent observation skills 👌

[@texaspatty458]

@@amandaliverpool3374 ...feel better soon Amanda , my prayers are with you and your son ❤️🙏

[@thecustodian1023]

The primary one in my life just got busted for trying to illegally dispose of hazardous waste and then had the audacity to threaten to sue the person who figured out what he was up to and then refused to haul it for him. 🤣

[@texaspatty458]

@@thecustodian1023 ...that sounds just like a narc . Nothing is ever their fault if it's BAD !

[@brianhill6842]

He presented himself as he was understanding and empathetic. Months later - about month 4/5 he would start arguments out of me trying to figure out where I stood. He said he wanted to do life with me but then weeks later when I had told him how much that meant to me….he yelled at me, went stone cold, told me he could never do that …..but then he’d say we are dating towards a relationship …..but would never say we were boyfriends. It was the most humiliating experience I’ve ever had. The way he ended it was so cruel and no ability to reason. I treated him only with kindness and made him a priority. He pursued me heavily at first wanting to talk morning and night. Kept sexting me, sending videos from his shower, telling me I’m all he thinks about, how he imagines what life will be like with me, coming home from work……to now we are strangers. I’m 2 months out from hjm yelling at me. He sent me a text saying he needs to figure himself out and sorrry if it leaves me hanging. I got through 3 weeks before I caved and reached out. He then yelled at me telling me the person meant for him would be able to be left hanging. So because I didn’t I wait it out I wasn’t good enough for him

[@Hatbox948]

My nex made things bad by procrastinating. He was like a stick in the mud about most everything.

[@Summer_Harvest]

@Hatbox948 Tim Fletcher's video on Oppositional Defiance really helped me understand this. I think you might appreciate it.

[@triciacrongeyer9944]

@@Hatbox948 Mine, too! He delayed doing things that would've benefitted our children or me and would then say, "Well it wasn't meant to be!"

[@amymefford53]

Yes. My husband did this and co-opted the Lord into it saying he’s have to pray about it for awhile. Oops. We missed it. Man…didn’t hear back from the Lord in time.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

Exactly, DrC! 1. Every time we ate a very famous chicken sandwich restaurant (always his pick,) he always complained about the size of the chicken patty on his sandwich 🤦🏽‍♀️ (every single time… it was bizarre.) 2. He never called me his friend until the separation was upon us and only then did he say, “But you’re my best friend.” Ok. 3. He’d go to the grocery and whatever I asked him to pick up for me, he’d come home without. When asked if he had gotten the items I asked for, he’d say- “They didn’t have any.” Lettuce? Really?! They didn’t have lettuce? Ok. 4. Famous words, “I’m not arguing. I’m just trying to have a conversation.” 5. Tells a raci$t joke and then is appalled when his own children tell him that’s raci$t because he thinks just because he claims to not be a raci$t himself there no way the joke can be raci$t. Figure that one out. 6. I can’t even go into the exploitive things about him because I tend to feel like such an idiot having agreed to some of the things I agreed to just to get him to stop begging me to do them. 7. If I had any good advice, he would always ignore me and then do whatever I had suggested as though it was his idea. 8. Getting caught in lies like cheating on a spouse is super easy to dodge. He never cheated. But lying about the little things to the point of gaslighting- confusion is the name of the game… (no lettuce at the grocery.) 9. “I’m sorry for everything.” Past, present, future- when he said this phrase, he honestly thought this is an apology. Then because he said this and if he ever did anything where he had to be called out again, he would say- “I said I was sorry for everything.” 10. Like #9, as long as he could form the words so that other people heard them coming out of his mouth… “I take responsibility for all my faults,” people believed him and then saw (and still see) me as the bad person for not getting back together with him. He actually thinks saying this is the same as doing it. In his head he actually thought saying I’m sorry was (is) the same as “changing his behavior.” Even though he’d turn around and repeat the exact same behavior which called for an apology and taking responsibility in the first place. It was non stop. Sometimes there would be a huge blow up between us and he would then stop the nonsense- but only for about two weeks to two months. The slowly but surely the nonsense would start again and spiral and chaos would consume AGAIN until the next huge blow up. I honestly thought he was on the verge of something like dementia or Alzheimer’s. I finally found you and Dr Simon and Dr Ramani and realized it’s just narcissism and I could set my own self free by letting go of the hope (toxic) and dream of him ever changing. *I* changed. I hope my sharing this helps someone else lose who is still giving someone in their life the benefit of the doubt. Edited for typos

[@MichelleRochner]

@@AlwaysStampinVideos I was thinking my husband was needing his brain checked too! He’s 70 now. Been making excuses to justify his behaviors and actions for 25 years (married 29). Children grown now, with families of their own. Don’t believe there was infidelity, don’t want to know. Betrayals of trust within the union are just as damaging! Few months ago while throwing a tantrum, actually had the nerve to scream that “I HAD REDUCED HIM TO LOOKING AT PORN HUB”! That’s not the betrayals mentioned above, because that’s just ridiculous- and I am definitely not responsible for his LACK of CHARACTER, morals, virtue etc. Which is what I calmly, but emphatically stated! Hiding assets now that we are living separately, but he’s too much of a victim to actually FILE for legal separation or divorce. In the meantime he’s manipulating our youngest son, 24, with FLAT OUT LIES and the victim scenario in the situation we’re in now. He’s orchestrated this entire mess! He’s finally admitted he will always have love for me, but NO, he does not LIKE me. Duh, that’s been apparent for years.

[@jeankipper6954]

Narcissistic wasband committed suicide when, completely exhausted in all ways, I informed him that I no longer would carry him. Starting the very next day, things were easier. I'm sure that he would have made the Covid shut down much, much worse. It's taking me years to understand that was his choice, I did not make him do that. Difficult, difficult people.

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

Hi Hean, I've seen your comments in other places. It's sad to hear what he put you through. Mine stood by when he could hear I was choking from a near- drowning, didn't call 911, didn't try to help me. It's still hard to know that is a true story. You are just living a different version of it. No, dear, you did not cause him to do that. Just like I didn't cause mine to do that.

[@elcee7800]

Mine left numerous times for good whenever there was a devastating crisis.

[@caroleminke6116]

Par

[@elcee7800]

@@caroleminke6116 Yep👍🏼

[@rachybooo]

Wow, this hit home for my situation. It has been insane to watch someone I loved so deeply turn into an immoral, selfish monster. We had cycles of these things for years, and it took me so long to figure out what I had been dealing with. A narc with alcoholism. But now it is blatant and outright for all to see, and he has isolated himself from everyone. Even his now ex best friends. He can literally be physically abusive outright in front of everyone, and turn around and blame it on me, at this point. Everything is my fault. And the things he's doing now are just.... Disgusting. It has really been so hard to process and work through. Especially with my three young kids who don't understand any of it.

[@Summer_Harvest]

This is the hardest thing to get a handle on. I thought we had a great couple bubble (Dr Stan Tatkin) and wondered how somebody could change so drastically. Yesterday I realized, maybe we didn't. Maybe that worked for him to distance from the stronghold of his family. It is really hard to rationalize something so good, gone bad. 🫂

[@caroleminke6116]

Get out! Give those kids a future & stop pretending that this wasn’t the truth all along. You’re just figuring it out too late for you but not for them. See Lisa A. Romano on how to overcome collusion with coercion or enabling with a narcissist when enmeshed but unaware

[@Summer_Harvest]

@@caroleminke6116 You DON'T KNOW what my situation was! My kids are adults. It's two right now. I'm listening to all advice coming my way. You deal with your hang ups. Thank you, kindly.

[@Summer_Harvest]

@@caroleminke6116 I don't suggest you come at anyone accusing. That is not what Team Healthy does. Look at your own life.

[@rachybooo]

@@caroleminke6116 I left months ago.

[@kathyjudson6754]

Thank you ! I have tried to explain what has happened to my ex narcissistic husband as his moral decline is hard to watch … now I understand 🙏🏻

[@biancaleewilliams2308]

I needed this right now

[@kayfitzgerald309]

Your co-host is listening intently but not taking notes!!! 😅 Thanks. DOC!! 🧡💙🧡

[@rosec6680]

Gus is a professor really.😊 He picks things up by osmosis.

[@darinsmith2458]

I think what I am finding out is that I need to protect myself.. This is a learning process for me.. The Narcissist uses everything that they can to hurt me.. I am still learning what tools are available for me to protect myself from them..

[@caroleminke6116]

Gray rock works best if it’s safe for you 😉 it taught me self control & I learned to respond not react. They’re all dead or gone now with no contact in place, but this insight has helped me to avoid/ignore/escape from toxic people

[@darinsmith2458]

@@caroleminke6116 That is a tool that I use.. Also I do not need to tell them what they want to hear.. NO is a complete sentence.. I can also call the police or other authorities.. When I was staying in motels out in LA what I found is that if there was a disturbance happening to call the police and not get involved.. One of the motel owners got punched in the face and the police told them to just call the police and not get involved.. So I would say separation is also good..

[@Ratgirl2]

My partner has committed to hard work and supporting our family and then throws it in my face over and over. 😮😮

[@cabot100]

Perhaps you are the narcissist.

[@Ratgirl2]

@@cabot100 Perhaps not

[@cabot100]

@@Ratgirl2 You demonstrate narcissistic behavior Either way, do yourself a favor and get out of the relationship if it is not healthy for you.

[@Ratgirl2]

@@cabot100 What makes you think I'm one when I'm mistreated and told what I said in first comment? Explain it

[@MarianneCatherine]

I hear you mine does it, too! I usually tell him I appreciate it and that we both work hard. It gives him something to ponder!!! 🤔

[@karensymons5981]

I have to watch your videos frequently to keep me on an even keel. I need those daily reminders not to upset myself over a narcissistic sister. It’s so easy to be provoked by someone you can’t get away from. Thank you so much! Dignity and civility!

[@andreacook6000]

Super important for me to hear this Les. You’re helping me understand how I need to respond in my court case with this person. Pull away from all of the evil, come from a place of compassion, tell the truth, and pray to the universe this person can somehow be saved from going to the bad place that they live in, while completely removing myself from their orbit.

[@yobrojoost9497]

Had a perfect example of this just yesterday. My wife had left her credit card at a shop. We had a very nice day up until then. She tried to blame the cashier for not noticing but I told her it's not the cashier's responsibility. Then she tried to blame me for 'distracting' her at the till. I didn't join in her drama at all, instead I just drove her back to the shop and the problem was solved.

[@austinamadasun5860]

This is totally accurate My long term partner became someone totally different when she lost her job as top Executive in a technology firm She became so immoral and decadent to the extent her cultivated image slipped as she took a married man she was having an affair with to a family gathering in Dubai She lost all her bearings - stopped church and became totally unrecognisable She finally got her sense back a year later when I had moved on and our daughter was about to be handed over to my custody She's now back in church and has suffered a mortification after her whole enchantment with her false s self was revealed to so harmful to others and even herself Can Narcissists change? Yes, but only after they have no further options. She still makes mistakes now and then but is now very aware and sorry for her previous lifestyle What we both figured out was that her thinking was disjointed - unable to link different aspects of events and dependencies and consequencies Misfortunes really brought out the worst of her and this has been a pattern that repeated all her life (she's in her forties now) and we were together for 9 years Each time she suffered anything she interpreted as a rejection, her evil alter ego was activated She has watched this video as she asked for the link and might read this comment

[@caroleminke6116]

She hasn’t changed from the inside out but the facade has simply recalibrated like a kaleidoscope… wait a sec 😉 plz don’t get fooled again for the sake of your daughter

[@texaspatty458]

@@austinamadasun5860 😳😳😳😳😳yikes !

[@catherinebabisha6818]

Thank you so so much for discussing the subject as I was shocked at the progress of him, hating people and his antagonism toward people grew and like you said at the end, he only wanted me around if I did exactly what he wanted as far as meeting his needs other than that, he didn’t want to see meit was really dehumanizing. I couldn’t believe it. It’s really hard to go valued in the beginning of the relationship to being completely treated like a clone robot or something.

[@taboovsknowledge1603]

The nar. will turn everything into, where they are the victim, before you can say the first sentence. From there, it's all about trying to get them to see what the conversation was really about and that it was part of a paragraph that got shut down and if they would let you continue there would be this thing called a conversation, about something that has nothing to do with them. Every day it's like this. She just won't let the conversation happen. She knows well of this, I am on to her and she knows she has to stop this. I have family telling me they will pay me $300,000 if I leave her, it that bad!

[@bekindtooneanother3889]

Doc. You have studied them so well. I’ve experienced so many things you’ve talked about.

[@ronch550]

Yup. True.

[@SuzanneMarsden]

Love les. Kept me going for years. On the team healthy side. Xx

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Suzanne.

[@exlesoes]

Yes! That's what happened with me during the worst time in my life... to now a bit i'm still on guard a year later it's all consuming. I pray and i'm not super religious i just have reached an end of a plank so to speak sorry for grimness here

[@thecustodian1023]

You're not alone by any means. Way too much of society has been in or is in the same position you are and do not know how to talk about it any better than you do.

[@caroleminke6116]

Break that trauma bond & address CPTSD to get to a better place ☮️

[@danielpahor8444]

I think when a person is dishonest, selfish, has no sense of personal responsibility, is entitled, and full of hubris life will naturally not deliver them what they want. They might become bitter and present a picture of victimhood. But their sadness is often their own fault, and the natural result of having poor character. It can be deceptive when these people show their vulnerable side. The natural reaction is to feel sorry for them, but it’s a trap.

[@BushcraftQuebec]

They never accomplish anything . Any attempt to explain anything is turned around as harassement . Confronting peoples truth . They act like you are insulting them They keep assuming your always wrong and treat you like a sick person and wonder why you are agravated wasting your time

[@sthomas4634]

I try to help him with certain problems that come up, like an illness, which was fine when we were younger, but now my suggestions or even my assistance went its necessary, like after surgery or an accident, is perceived as a competition or threat to his self esteem.

[@caroleminke6116]

You’re regulated to a secondary supply mommy source now

[@texaspatty458]

@@sthomas4634 ....you can't help them do anything bc you aren't good enough ..They are superior in Every way 🤷🏻 call Uncle on helping a narc , it's useless .

[@hopeinhumanity.]

Thank you Dr. C 😊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are very welcome

[@seajayart1147]

Dr. C., what is your wisdom on the dynamics of narcissistic seniors? Bullying in senior's communities is rampant. The loss of control that can accompany ageing seems to make elder narcissists double down hard on their controlling tactics. Their actions can make life intolerable for those who just want to live the remaining years of their lives in peace without resorting to isolation as a protection tactic. Some insight would be greatly appreciated.

[@christigoodeating]

You are perfectly describing a person I have contact with.

[@okshadowbannedjet7981]

...and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.

[@SandraMuller-vs8ck]

The harsh truth into this podcast has revealed enormous depth of knowledge into the mind of an individual who manifested himself as a man of integrity. The exposure of this person has proven otherwise and his personal life to be beyond my expectation. At least the truth has come through. Thank you Dr Carter. God bless.

[@butterflycomb]

Spot on Dr. Les! This narcissist is all this!

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

Yep, they do become morally degenerates once they are found out. You have just described my ex exquisitely. Mine was already damaged before we met, so I got the worst parts before I finally made him leave (it took eleven years to let go). When he couldn't talk, and kept changing the subject, but claimed I wouldn't talk.

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

DARVO

[@aaronkwolfe]

After watching tape delay with chat, let me thank Vicki for the thoughtfulness, but I’m not worthy to be on an interview stream with Dr. C. I’m certainly vulnerable enough to show my face and name, but that was a conscious choice to bring about my own healing. I’d much rather hear from the experts.

[@aaronkwolfe]

My online presence is obvious to any who would look. Sure, I tell jokes, but I have made some "For Team Healthy" streams, as well as some more personal (vulnerable) ones. I am honored to be a respected part of Team Healthy.

[@laurenwilson1888]

Let’s face it, any time is a good time for narcissistic bad behavior. Hit a rough patch, bad behavior. Are you happy, bad behavior. A stroke of luck, bad behavior. Death of a significant other, bad behavior. Skinnier than they are, bad behavior. Need a favor, bad behavior. Been promoted, bad behavior. New car, bad behavior. Break a leg, bad behavior. The list goes on and on. They are just plain toxic. Strange how someone who is basically intelligent can be so utterly stupid.

[@anonymouscm7270]

Many Thanks Dr. C. and Team Healthy🙏🌷🕊💝🤗

[@fred.k9875]

Just believe!

[@BettyCrocker-v8y]

Much gratitude Dr Carter

[@devinmaier7889]

Subscribed! Thank you for giving us the vocabulary and insight we need to understand what is happening to us.

[@annemariegodden]

Such a valuable video. Thank you, Dr C. Love and blessings to you, Gus, the family and Mikhaela.

[@pennylynch913]

Being bad is their way of coping. Wish i cd be as relaxed as Gus is Doc 😅❤

[@Angesjw135]

omg that dog

[@heathersteinhoff9540]

Thank you Dr. C and old Live Wire Gus!

[@anniewho4655]

Appreciate your encouragement so much!

[@aminakhiyami7899]

Absolutely true. Thank you for this awareness Dr.Les Carter. Blessings

[@camillepatterson6849]

What's really sad to me is the amount of people who watch these videos and need help to deal with narcissists. The narcissists are like a cult leader, with the flying monkeys being the cult members.

[@caroleminke6116]

A microcosm of American culture with Trump & his minions

[@camillepatterson6849]

@@caroleminke6116 Why bring politics into this matter? Apples and oranges.

[@nantompkins140]

Dr. C, I always enjoy your videos. I wish you'd space them out more equally over the week. Thanks-NT

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I upload a full video each Monday, Thursday, Saturday. On Wednesday, I have a live feed where I answer questions that have come in throughout the week. Then on Tuesday, Friday, Sunday I upload a short video. One feature per day. I can't get much more equitable than that!

[@nantompkins140]

@@SurvivingNarcissism, maybe I'm missing some. After the long one on Wednesday, it seems quick to get another one on Thursday. I love them ALL, so I hope you know that!! I've been subscribed for a while, but I'll review things. I can always space out when I watch them. Apologies!! Thanks for all you do!!

[@butterflycomb]

Again spot on Dr. Les!

[@Summer_Harvest]

We can't join them but it is hard to feel like you are abandoning them to it. It makes me think of the movie 'Where Dreams May Come'. Not every story has a happy ending, but it can't go anywhere if they are obstinate.

[@caroleminke6116]

Why enable a narcissist? Collusion with coercion is simple enablement & it says you’re enmeshed

[@Summer_Harvest]

@@caroleminke6116 How is it enabling?

[@catherinebabisha6818]

Oh my goodness all this progressed in the man I was trying to have a relationship with over the years. I could see him very taciturn, and his irritation turned into anger against everyone he even stated all people are evil, and I want nothing to do with them and he wanted to go with him and I said I won’t do that and I have to be a good example he said, I am old enough to do whatever I want and I’m responsible to no one. The pessimism increased. Also I couldn’t even tell him a good thing like a job I started or anything he would always put shade on it He also justified moral decline ! Theeea no reasoning with him and if he can’t defend his attitude and actions he’s blame me!

[@susanmercurio1060]

I had a traumatic childhood and I just can't pick a good man so I decided to stop trying. But I was lucky that I didn't choose to become bad. But Dr Peter Salerno has done a lot of research and he has found that NATURE is more important than Nurture. Narcissism is hard-wired in the brain.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

I've seen his video.

[@carpathianken]

Having experienced a traumatic childhood too I never wanted to lower my standards to be anything like the harmful people I was subjected to growing up. People that have goodness in their nature are repulsed by harmful behaviour & they want the cycle of harm to end with them, not inflict the same torment on others like narcissists are more than happy to do.

[@thecustodian1023]

The problem for me is that any woman who is damaged enough to put up with me is too damaged for me to deal with in return. 😋

[@teresadvorak6145]

Very well said. Thank You. I agree with 1000%%​@carpathianken❤❤❤

[@Summer_Harvest]

@susanmercurio1060 I think this is essential to keep a clear mind moving forward

[@tinamitchell153]

Excellent Video

[@pamchesler242]

Doctor Les.. I join another person who commented that you have helped me tremendously to understand this personality disorder, and how it affects the person who has it and the victim of this person’s behavior. In my case, it’s my next-door neighbor who is stalking me fixated on me every day I go out I’m followed and yes, the police know and are aware . Unfortunately, there’s no crimes in being a narcissist or a stalker in some states and there should be in every single state . But you hit the nail on the head when this is a game that they play to dysregulate you. They are taking out the anger and the unhealed wounds within them on you in some deranged thinking that powering control will make them feel “normal”… no I don’t think it works that way 🤔🤔 I can safely say from my experience that even though I still live next-door to this person, and I’m not able to physically move at this time that the only way to deal with this is to not play the game that means actually understanding when I walk out the house that I will be followed. That is just a bullying game and that I do permit myself to feel the fear But to actually allow myself to lose my own control because of them that’s not going to happen. The most empowering thing that anyone can do for themselves is when they are being bullied or they are being mistreated or disrespected empower yourself by educating yourself first and foremost, and then love yourself. Be kind to yourself do things that make you feel good the more they make, you feel like shit the more you do things for yourself to make yourself feel good and that’s how you empower yourself. You don’t need to defend yourself you don’t need to respond or react. All you need to do is have power over the way you think about it … The only time I ever had any experience with this situation of bullying was way back in high school and they were just relentless towards their target.. And I felt so badly for those who had to endure that on a daily basis . Another thing you said that is so true is that every challenge that we are faced with is a golden opportunity to grow or to learn a lesson as you said . I do resist the fact that this is even happening, but then I realize that that’s only gonna make me feel less empowered . Or I’d also be playing the victim . So far what’s happening is karma and that is the neighbors are now witnessing this and are showing indirectly their displeasure . And at this point, you can just tell that there chaos in their environment is actually working against them. They do themselves in and they don’t care who they take with them. Just let them do themselves in and you go walk your healthy path. 💪💪💪✊✊✊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yours is not an easy situation, but I strongly respect your efforts to stay as grounded in your own healthiness as possible. Thanks for sharing this!

[@pamchesler242]

@@SurvivingNarcissism if you see this, could you offer one of your videos to me that you might recommend on how to deal with this? I’m thinking I’m doing the best I can with what’s occurring, but the thing is is now the neighbors are scared, but they are taking it more seriously unfortunately there’s no law on the state of New Jersey against this type of harassment, but there’s no doubt in my mind, this person is narcissistic.. About a year ago, you told me the idea of radical acceptance and I’m thinking that I need to accept the fact that this is happening and don’t resist it. I think it was Eckhart Tolle who coined the phrase “what you resist, persists”…

[@Ocean1688]

They create difficulties then act like they are the hero. Even till the day they die.

[@IndigoMasquerade]

Continuously grateful for your videos!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased,

[@lindabell2940]

Man Doctor, that other dude on u tube, SAM , professor, that word narcissist, that man is a trip sometimes, me also, but Doctor Carter, the best red blood, hec keep on healing, your sharing, peace and harmony, my community

[@patrickglaser1560]

Your engrish gave me a stronk

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Im disappointed that others allow her to play the victim. We need to work together to help that beautiful woman heal. I'm not giving up on her. I also can't fix her.

[@caroleminke6116]

Beyond your pay grade!

[@christigoodeating]

I know several people like that!

[@rlsmith6904]

Your videos are very helpful. Thank you.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are quite welcome!

[@JoLOCKWOOD]

1:41 ❤❤❤

[@WandaStanton-q5w]

Sure wish I could afford to take your assistance 😮

[@Francisqolito]

I would, with all due respect, suggest the better word "cynicism" ...that is: these non-civilised creatures have a built-in cynicism! Pessimism (as put forward by Arthur Schopenhauer) is actually a beautiful thing to strategically adopt. ❤❤ From Nairobi.

[@kerem1002]

hi Les, is it possible for the narcisstics to be healed? has such a thing(healing) ever been witnessed? if it has what is the way? can they ever be helped?...

[@iAmAnimalMedicine]

I can’t stop attracting begrudging and callous people. They are like moths to a flame.

[@LeeAnderson-qe9os]

Would a suit of armor protect me!

[@Beela2020]

I have a narcisist nighbor when water leak on me from his flat he avoid even talking to me silence treatment 😡 or he lie 😢 I am angery to have this kind of nighbors how to deal I think only thought autority

[@HappyOddGirl]

How is all this different from the ways they usually behave? 😕

[@Joe-br4ww]

🎯💯

[@davidparker5439]

👍

[@Summer_Harvest]

Just a note; With this video title and one other comment on another I had a rating bubble pop up.

[@Hatbox948]

I get those from time to time. I ignore them. Are they bad news?

[@Summer_Harvest]

@@Hatbox948 I have only answered to the affirmative for channel growth. Dr C has a large following. I think it might be his titles though. That's all I can think of..like words like bad or stupidity in a title or comment. I responded to neither they comment they popped up on in these 2 cases since I think they were just responses to the title. It's just good to be aware.

[@Hatbox948]

@@Summer_Harvest OK, thank you for the heads up.

[@Gardenwitch1954]

🐕🤎

[@rwdchannel2901]

I hear Kamala Harris's staff has resigned multiple times because she was so mean to them. She recently yelled at her campaign manager. People say Trump is a narcissist, but I don't see Trump treating any of his kids as the black sheep. His kids seem to love him and be successful(2 things narcissist don't like to do). I haven't heard rumors of Trump's campaign staff quitting because he was mean to them.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Trump is kind? Empathetic? Emotionally steady?

[@rwdchannel2901]

@@SurvivingNarcissism He seems to be kind, empathic, and emotionally steady towards his family. When he's being attacked by narcissist, sociopaths, and psychopaths(people who let 350,000 kids be trafficked across the US-Mexico border and lost), I expect him not to be kind, empathic, and emotionally steady towards those people. There comes a point where people do have to exert a righteous anger in certain situations(such as when Venezuelan gangs take over apartment buildings in Colorado and Texas, kids being trafficked and lost track of, kids being put in slave labor conditions, and Americans being murdered by people who shouldn't be in their cities). In regards to Kamala, I've seen her get very upset at basic questions in interviews, make false accusations against Trump, have zero empathy for children while she's been the Border Czar(350,000 kids trafficked and lost and she could care less), and when someone yelled 'Jesus is Lord' at her recent rally, she said 'You're at the wrong rally.' Kamala Harris is currently the Vice President and she gaslights people by pretending she's going to do all these awesome things for them, but she has to get elected president to do it. She can go to Joe Biden and congress right now and try to do those things, but she hasn't. Usually in narcissistic families with lots of kids, at least one of them is going to be the black sheep and one the golden child. I don't see that dynamic in Trump's family. He seems to be happy with his children being successful in life and doing well. That's not typically how narcissistic parents behave towards their children. When I look at signs for a dysfunctional narcissistic family, I look for some of the children to be on drugs the way Hunter Biden is on drugs and for the father to be the enabler the way Joe Biden has enabled Hunter's drug problem and paid for his prostitutes.

[@rwdchannel2901]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Politics is war. If you were in war as an infantryman you would have to turn off your kindness, empathy, and emotions in a way to mow down the enemy with a .50 caliber machinegun. In politics, the same thing probably has to be done to some extent to defeat the enemy. If you don't think the other side is the enemy, you're wrong because they're going to dehumanize you and try to destroy your life. I don't know if you've been paying attention but Trump has already survived at least 2 assassination attempts and he has the scars to prove it. How many has Kamala survived? Zero.

[@Connor4x4]

NO ONE in politics is a good person!

[@rwdchannel2901]

@@Connor4x4 I don't see Trump's kids all mentally messed up and on drugs the way kids of narcissists often are. I'm not saying Trump is perfect because he has many flaws, but when people say he's a narcissist, I disagree because most of those people are speaking about the dictionary definition of narcissism, not the psychological definition of narcissism.

[@kayfitzgerald309]

Sounds like one of our presidential candidates!!!😊 VOTE BLUE 💙 ❤️ 🤍 🇺🇸

[@hartofnixie7060]

Leave politics out of this conversation please

[@thecustodian1023]

Get a clue, we all know which one was already president and brought us good times and which one represents everything Less talks about in every one of his videos. 🤣

[@thecustodian1023]

@@hartofnixie7060 They cant thelp themselves. The projectionism demon compels them. 😋

[@hartofnixie7060]

​@thecustodian1023 True. I am very politically involved and have been my entire life. Yes, even as a child. But there are places that we don't bring our personal political conversations into, or at least try our best to avoid doing so. Dr C 10:41 spoke just about a week or two ago about leaving politics out of this stream. Lots of places we can go to to promote our views and or vent. We are here to heal, help to heal and grow in wisdom to avoid additional injury. Lets focus on that here. Lots of Narcissists seek power, in politics, they often aren't really running on the belief in the platform of their chosen party, but rather chose the one most expedient in helping them to achieve the power they crave.

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@hartofnixie7060Agreed. The last thing this channel needs is divisive echo chambers.