how not to be a hot mess in the new year

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WHO AM I?
Hey there, I’m Cinzia DuBois. I’m a part-time, self-funded PhD student and KZbinr, Podcaster and writer. I’ve been creating videos for over thirteen years. I discuss productivity, personal development, PhD, academia and mental well-being on this channel. On my main channel, I talk about all things dark and ancient history, literature and folklore.

[@dustyoldhat]

I'm a generation older than you. If I could give myself at your age any advice, it would be: Nothing matters. Nothing really matters. The only thing that matters is treating people around you properly and defending your own boundaries. Everything else follows. The only things I regret are when I treated people I cared about with indiscretion, or allowed other people to infringe on my time, self-worth, or finances.

[@frkenb.9889]

I took a screenshot of this comment to remind me (and my future-self) of the importance of this message.

[@47nrubreddew]

👍👍👍💥

[@glitchedoom]

How I treated people I cared about that are no longer in my life are the only real regrets I have. Schooling, career, personal goals, I have an entire lifetime to figure those out. I'll never have the chance to undo what I did to those I pushed away.

[@jackiecarter5193]

Spot on. All we really have is kindness . Nothing else matters at all.

[@moirosalina]

If you are serious, call the suicide prevention hotline in your country and after that get help. You should start caring about YOURSELF. There are ways to learn.

[@keiththorpe9571]

People who ask me about New Year's resolutions always get the same answer: "If you haven't heard from me by the end of January, you were one of them."

[@mariadaly4673]

😂 I love that

[@ardethellis8930]

Hahahaha. Love this.

[@dustyoldhat]

niiiiice

[@keiththorpe9571]

@@mariadaly4673 in that case, if there's a situation in your life that would be improved by making such a resolution, you go right on ahead and let them know in just that way. 🤣

[@keiththorpe9571]

@@ardethellis8930 yeah, a little harsh, perhaps, but when it comes to living my best life, I can be a pretty harsh guy. 🤣

[@ardethellis8930]

Years ago, my first therapist was an advocate of behavioral therapy. He had me keep a "thought diary." Every time I had a negative thought, I was to write it down along with what emotion was present, who I was with, where I was, etc. This literally saved my life. I am really excited that you are doing a similar practice. I wish you ease and peace of mind.

[@tvsmed]

It hurts to see such a nice person like you suffer so much. Just a few oberservations. Self-doubt is something everyone struggles with to different degrees. Its normal to have these thoughts. Having seen a handful of your videos, there is a big gap between your self-image and how the world sees you. You have every reason to feel extremely proud. It takes a lot of courage to take on a PHD study. Your history videos demonstrate an incredible deep insight into the topics you present is such a clear and engaging manner.Those videos are so good, well researched and presented that they could easily be a series of documentaries on BBC! Your videos here o KZbin give thousands of viewers a good experience. That must count a lot. So, a PHD, a succesful youtuber, how many have accomblisthed that? You are very intelligent, knowledgable, you care a lot for other people. You like books. You have dogs. You have a nice place to live. I repeat: you look great! So, you are OK!! Accept who you are, don't stop moving, be kinder to yourself. Those were my thoughts. Happy New Year from DK.🔝

[@alexshanto7285]

As a lonely mediocre student with chronic depression, I can relate everything what you are saying. I am really the biggest bully of myself. I listed many things to accomplish next year but now I think I should care my mental health. Thank you for giving the idea of tracking negative thoughts for 365 days. I will surely apply it.Stay blessed.❤

[@narimanGuseev-sp1hr]

Ой ой ой,

[@zuzanastankova956]

One of the things that helped me to see myself in a new light was looking at myself and judging myself as I would any other person in my life. I started asking myself questions like " Would i want someone like me to be my friend? a partner? a mother? a sister? I than started to unpack my answers and think about the criteria i have for other poeple and about whether or not I'm meeting those criteria.

[@e.urbach7780]

I think, for me, that I would have to ask, "would I want anybody to talk to my mother or other family member, or friend, the way I talk to myself?" Because I have dealt with "friends" who have talked to me in similar toxic ways, and I put up with it because they were dealing with a lot of serious things (disabilities, bad health, abuse) in their lives and I didn't feel like it would be fair to point out the pain that they were causing, in light of the pain that they were experiencing.

[@jimbrittain402]

I clicked on this video just to hear the words "hot mess" in that delightful, excellent voice. And there it was, followed by such honest revelations. Thank you, Cinzia. When you can no longer believe in yourself, I hope you will be able to lean on the fact that so many of us believe in you. We are not disgusted with you... else we would not keep coming back.

[@sandrabryan9106]

Just the other day when I was talking with my adult daughters, I said something extremely brutal about myself and my youngest raised her voice and pointed to me and said "You are not allowed to talk to my mother like that ever again." I hadn't even realized what I said out loud because it had become such an internal narrative. We talked through things but I realized that I was demeaning myself. I think I might implement that writing journal as well in order to exhaust the internal shadow boxing.

[@duartepires1515]

What i saw that helped me was, instead of aiming for objectives, one should aim for different virtues. Last year I told myself to try to be less of a cold person and be warmer with everyone, even those I didn't like much. I now see my life and relationships of all types in a more warm and positive light, and that has made me a much happier person in consequence. However I do suffer from the same effect of always being hyper-negative towards myself, even when I do everything within my power for things to go well, and even when things DO go well, I make those accomplishments feel of lesser value than of what they truly are. So for this new year's virtue, I'll cultivate the will to care and forgive myself as much as I do to other people. To give the kindness that I give other towards me too, despite of all the flaws I know I have. Wish you luck and a happy new year, to u cinzia and to everyone reading this. 2024 will be a great year for us!🥳🥳🥳

[@rachell4694]

I try to remind myself of the saying "don't believe everything you think". I self sabotage all the time and every new year I think this year will be different and it never is. So thank you for this video

[@tinyphrases]

the past two years in my group therapy, we've worked in sections on questioning whether the rules we set for ourselves is actually a rule that belongs to us, and whether they are the ones we actually want to live with. thank you for this video

[@NoFishCanSwim]

Everything you said about how you feel about yourself…that’s me exactly! I mean EXACTLY. I feel so seen.

[@suzannamangovski4198]

I wish you could see yourself like the rest of us see you. As a smart, articulate and insightful human being . Wishing you all the best.

[@GabbieHennrich]

Hi! I used to be like this to myself. 2 years if therapy later and I'm an entirely different person and I LOVE MYSELF. That woman changed my life. I'm so excited to watch your journey and see you gain confidence! You're gonna do great

[@picketfenced5771]

“I’ve taught myself to not try” this is unfortunately a big problem I’ve dealt with all my life

[@BlackBat808]

Cinzia, I cannot express what your videos have evoked in me, especially this one. There is a PLETHORA of advice videos on the internet, but your perspective, articulation & overall personality are so unique in the way they entertain and help me I always come to this channel. Your advice videos are some of the most helpful I have seen. This was quite coincidental as I have committed to quite a similar project myself through journalling, after finding that it is the root of many other issues I have-- especially the complete mental exhaustion of negativity that stops me from doing the things I terribly want. You are so smart & you radiate beauty. I hope this year treats you well, & best of luck on your journey!

[@sambailie4773]

I'm 47 and I think menopause makes you realise what's important....God, family, friends and choosing kindness and compassion every moment, even towards ourselves. X

[@whitefang9758]

Seems easy enough to me. I'm not hot, so I'll simply be a mess.

[@GinaStanyerBooks]

I haven't made any resolutions for years. I'm basically a lazy cow, and I'm totally happy with that. Thanks so much for your wonderful content this year. Loved your honestly in this video.

[@jackiecarter5193]

Fantastic Gina! Nobody else cares if you're a lazy cow either! You sound great. New years resolutions are always disappointing, everyone fails them, then feels bad!

[@RevaliHeeHo]

​@@jackiecarter5193 and you will feel bad even if you accomplished them.

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you so much, Gina ♥️

[@alcyon27]

Cinzia, you make KZbin a better place. I discovered your channels recently and as a non english native speaker I really enjoy practicing my understanding of your language and learning about history or other topics with you. You are passionate about everything you talk about, and that makes me come back to your channel everytime. As a person with low self esteem I can relate very much to what you say in this video. I've starting realizing only two or three years ago that I was being my worst enemy. It takes time and effort to love ourselves, but it's worth it. You deserve it!!! Please listen to that little voice in your head that whispers "Cinzia, you are worth it!! You deserve the best!!" And when the other little voice that wants to sabotage you (I call her the b*tchy voice) says the opposite, tell her to shut up!! Try it, it works, honestly! 😉 Sending you big hugs from France and all the best energy for 2024 💫

[@MuscleFlexChris]

Been my best year and totally transformed from last year, so already accepted that topping it next year is totally beyond me 😂 Seriously though, finding Cinzia this year has been a blessing and wish her and everyone here well for 2024 :)

[@tascha856]

You are such an inspiration and I hope one day you will see yourself as beautiful, smart and lovely as I see you through your Videos!

[@ahmed51988]

Your courage to put it all out in this video is admirable and inspiring. I hope that this year takes you and takes all of us from someone we're worried about to someone we're proud of.

[@coffeederry]

Mental health is actually the most important thing ever, and I am looking forward to be my own best friend in the next year! Thank you Cinzia for another great video, it really helps with mental health and anxiety

[@christophercrews1380]

I turned 50 on October 11. I was frustrated and disgusted with my job as a housekeeper at an assisted living facility in Colorado. I was in poor health suffering from severe respiratory illness, and I wanted a change in my life. So I quit my job and went to community college and got a one semester certificate in sterile processing of surgical equipment. So many people, even old coworkers, were cheering me on. So I started school and went into my internship at an orthopedic surgery center and got sick again half way through. I persevered and finished my certificate. Now I’m looking for work in a tight job market since the pandemic is over. Please 🙏 give me encouragement to get what I want in 2024. Thanks Cinzia.

[@lizziedeerest]

Oh wow. I feel so bad for assuming, because my assumption was that this would be a self-help video that makes me feel worse. You know the type that tells you everything you’re doing wrong, like not taking cold showers and all that? For some reason, I was preparing myself for one of those. I’m really glad I watched this video. It is enlightening how you have the clarity to put everything into words. I feel I’m in the same boat. I haven’t reached my goals, and I believe I’m “rotting away” and that I don’t compare to the person I was years ago, and that I’ll never be that good of a version of myself again. I need to work on these beliefs, or else I will continue to have the same experience. Thank you for being vulnerable in this video and sharing 💙

[@shanonkiyoshi4784]

💔 This video absolutely broke my heart. I feel you are deeply BEAUTIFUL in every way -- intellectually, energetically, & physically 💖 I know NO WORDS from anyone else will ever change the way YOU feel about yourself, but please know I am absolutely on "TEAM: YOU"! Happy Holidays & Namaste!!! 🥳🎉💞

[@danb1809]

I remember when I was at the lowest point of my life and severely hated myself the thing that stopped me was ironically me forgetting why I hated myself and then I slowly came back to normalcy. By the time I remembered why I hated myself again I was equipped to handle those emotions. Crazy how life works sometimes

[@e.urbach7780]

So relatable! I was asked, once, as part of one of those stupid "get-to-know-you" party games, "if you were going to write your autobiography, what would the title be?" I came up with "Almost Epic" as a title, because that seems like the theme of my life; so many things could have been good, or even very good (not quite epic) ... but I missed that achievement or great experience by a narrow margin, and I'm right back to being mediocre, at best, and all the things you bully yourself with, at worst! Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations are really difficult habits to get away from, especially when they're directed at ourselves!

[@jackiecarter5193]

This breaks my heart. Please, please learn to love and accept yourself. You are a beautiful, intelligent deep thinking young woman. Unfortunately it is often deep thinking, intelligent, good people who question themselves endlessly and develop low self worth. If you find anything about yourself that you dislike , talk to it, tell it you love it, tell it you accept it unconditionally, (for example, you do not finish a project and you feel you just cant get on top of things...instead of beating yourself up for being disorganised, tell yourself that you accept this part of yourself, that being less than perfect is to be fully human and that you love that vulnerable, human side of yourself.) You dont have to be even close to perfect . None of us are. You are young and free. You dont even have to be successful. Just be.

[@JohnABrownTheWriter]

Cinzia, another top-shelf, up-front video packed with heartfelt wisdom. You're not "preaching" to an audience, but "sharing" the journey with us. I wish you all the best for the coming year, personally, academically, financially, mentally, "et cetera!" 😀I've become very enthused about my writing, and things are starting to look up on other fronts as well. Cinzia DuBois, stay Ethereal, Luminescent, and Lovely in the New Year, Keep Charging, and Keep Reading!!!❤

[@manonbrochu6400]

Your inner toughs are heartbreaking/cruel. Please offer yourself compassion for the Year 2024. You are a beautiful soul ✨

[@holyfreak8]

I never did a "Thing to do list" for the New Year, but recently (mid year) I had a change of attitude, for myself, how I treat others and how to relate to other people and I can say I've been feeling better than ever in my life despite struggles. Living in Latin America is like an "adventure", you never know what it would be day to day, specially here in Argentina. I still won't do a "New Year Resolutions", but the main difference is how I'll approach everyting I'll face down the road Happy New Year Lady! I hope in 2024 you can have the strenght to face everyting that comes your way and you can achieve what you long for yourself ☺

[@tob4643]

I cannot emphasize this enough, but thank you for sharing your perspectives & beautiful spirit with us this year. We are all grateful for your content. It's been a delight to witness and has helped me process things and feel more secure in myself and the world could use the value that you provide. I have a positive feeling that both your channels will have a successful 2024, but also will be a big inspiration for me & many others. :) Here's to not being a hot mess in the new year & making our dreams come true. All the best for 2024 Cinzia. ❤️

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you so much, Tob ♥️

[@tob4643]

@@SelfHelpShelf Pleasure ❤️

[@EmperorNorton668]

Negative thoughts are wild, because when I look at you I see a smart, inspiring, marvelous person who I can only admire. Then again, I am a worthless failure and if I were you, I probably wouldn't listen to someone such as me.

[@J_LorraineK]

I'm going to need a BIG notebook...

[@chrisgodberartist]

We are a generation raised to never sleep and to broadcast success at all times. I hope you can overcome your low self confidence. I have had such negative thoughts too in the past without going into all the details.

[@saraht855]

Something which was super helpful to me in academic and clinical work (which I had forgotten) was having conversations with people in other fields who you respect (peers, those slightly further along than you) about your work and what you are doing (just the usual friendship chats of "I did this thing and it worked" "I am struggling with this thing") and seeing how the most basic and simple part of your academic knowledge is completely alien to them. My engineering friend asked about some basic stats (year 1 undergrad stuff for me, he has a masters) and his understanding was just, 0. Had to go right to basics. Makes me feel like a competent professional while also keeping me humble when they do it back

[@mikemahaffey9121]

There's nothing wrong with being proud of yourself for things that you have worked hard to accomplish. Killer video as always.

[@hugoabrahamlopez8617]

Thank you for this video - I’m also my biggest critic and bully and hearing you describe this feeling was eye opening. My takeaway from this video is “Am I letting my inner thoughts to hold me back?”

[@korkinalina]

Thank you for speaking up about negative self talk. I really struggle with it and during the end/beginning of the year and around my birthday I'm especially vulnerable. It's hard to make a goal when you think of yourself as a total failure

[@Su-ri5ob]

I am so sorry but I can't watch you denigrate yourself. You are none of the things you say of yourself, you are a capable, beautiful, caring, creative woman who has so much to offer the world.

[@gregorkippa6399]

Dont beat yourself up Cinzia, we all think you're awesome ,we are literally fans :)

[@FarahRoseSmith]

I watched this last night and have been thinking so much about the terms you think of yourself in. You're so brilliant and I even cited one of your videos in my master's thesis! I know that doesn't do much to take away the sting of self-criticism, but I think it's uniquely hard for women of our age to allow ourselves a sense of legitimacy as scholars, and that's something I really wish we could band together to tear down. I was part of a conference recently and all the women in their 30s were timid, overtly competitive, and it made me so sad. Especially when I asked if we could share sources as a means of trying to bond and this was apparently a faux pas. Good lord, hopefully that culture changes some day... anyway, power to you. There are a lot of us who care and respect your intellect, even if from afar/parasocially.

[@mekman4]

Talking is therapy but talking is also cheap, if I can add something I’ve had to mention to a relative in the past, to make change, _”you have to want to be well.”_ So talk is cheap, a vlog is cheap. _How well do you want to be?_ Have a Happy New Year, and I hope you’re making good choices.

[@yvettet9855]

I've never heard anyone state so plainly the way that I feel about myself. I am disgusted and ashamed and I hate that I have to be with this person every single day. It's so exhausting. Thank you for making me feel seen

[@SecretSqrlGrl007]

New year. Same me.

[@kathrynmcnerney6490]

The first step toward healing is acknowledgement. This video will hopefully give you some peace. It's also incredibly brave to admit that out loud. I also have massive shame and bully myself endlessly. I also recommend- breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe Dispenza. It has worked for me over everything, even therapy.

[@ellajennings6847]

Cinzia, you are an absolute inspiration. Thank you so much for your bravery and honesty. You are beautiful, clearly INCREDIBLY intelligent and deep-thinking, as well as wonderfully kind-hearted and compassionate human being. I do hope you're managing to extend that kindness and compassion to yourself so far this year. I totally understand the idea of feeling disgust at oneself but I hadn't realised that until watching this video! Like you, I am crippled with social anxiety and lack of self-confidence, and will go over and over everything I said and did in a social situation, cringing with how embarrassing I must have been, even with my own parents! Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for your honesty - You make me feel less alone. Ella x

[@e.barratt6961]

Thank you for such an honest video. Your notebook sounds like an interesting approach, I may try that some day soon. I would also add that speaking to a third party - such as a therapist - has been an important, if difficult, step in actually addressing some of those negative thoughts I hold about myself. I can think myself into a thesis in my mind, but others can sometimes see the questions we don’t think to ask, and the ones we need to hear. Best of luck for 2024 x

[@picketfenced5771]

CINZIA THIS IS GENIUS!! I have been watching you for years since I was like 15-16 , I am 24 now, and it would always suck hearing you talk so negatively of yourself, and I would be left baffled because I COULD NOT SEE A SINGLE FAULT WITHIN THIS AUTHENTIC BEING YIU BROUGHT TO THE TABLE. Also, this is exactly what I’ve done when I hated every possible thing about myself. I would write down all of the things I hated of myself, and then counteract them by stating something so valuable from each thing I hated. Also I did a deep dive on where this internal hate derived from. When and how was this insecurity founded? Does that specific thing deserve to have such power of me? Is this a logical and well founded insecurity to have? It’s almost like taking out the trash of these negative ideals that are bottle fed to us since such a young age, for example, expectations of being a woman. Now I couldn’t care less, and am so at peace with who I am.

[@DawnMCdn]

This is very insightful and I think your plan for next year is well thought out. It hurts my heart that you feel such things about yourself. I think you are unique and, from where I sit, extremely smart and capable. I’ll be cheering you on from afar. ❤

[@cinthiaham1517]

Oh yes! I have an mental health planner this year working on my thoughts drastically. I am glad to hear this from many people ❤

[@gouki4u]

I've only been a subscriber for a little while, but the last two videos have hit incredibly close to home for me. The horror of being perceived (particularly at the gym), and negative self-talk are my most prominent personal demons, or at least they are their symptoms. Giving negative thoughts physical form in the written word is an idea I might have to try. I've always been hesitant to give them more life by uttering them out loud or writing them down because, as you mentioned, that is intense, but it has to be better than living in their miasma. You've given me something to ponder.

[@Renee-JillofallTrades]

So many things you said resonates so much with me. That's a difficult exercise, but I think it will be beneficial. I might need to take a page out of your book. Today's my birthday, and I can't think of a better gift to give myself than to give myself some inner peace. Thank you for your videos. You're so real. You're a great spokesperson for us introverted nerdy ladies who feel imposter syndrome.

[@MidnightMuse102]

4:46 this video is so for me 🖤

[@otherworldlyfiction]

Thanks for the video, Cinzia. I don’t throw a lot of bad comments at myself, but if someone else says something to me, I take it to heart. I’d love a video on how you deal with haters. I just got my first nasty comment on my channel, one which was very personal and made me feel like a bad person, and I’ve felt like my headspace has been clouded ever since, with a parasite as you described. I was feeling really good about myself and my channel, and that one comment made me consider quitting KZbin altogether, so I’d love to hear how you deal with negative feedback that comes from the outside.

[@AllTheHappySquirrels]

I love this idea! My therapist challenged me to do something similar a couple of years ago and it really helped me change my mindset. I wish you the best of success in your self-healing. You're worth it! 💜

[@Anna-ht6sz]

I love your videos 😊❤

[@theclarabella7399]

Watching this video it makes me think that over the past few years I don’t really think about myself in any way, negative or otherwise. I don’t have dreams or aspirations, I know I’ll never have a nice body, be with anyone, have a meaningful career. I have given up on life. Not in the way that I want my life to end, just in the way that my life consists of the same thing every day; doing my 9-5, walking my dog, doing food shop (of which foods I eat the same every week) and it’s like I am just existing. I don’t feel depressed but life just doesn’t excite me any more. Which in a way is good as I don’t have those self destructive thoughts anymore but in a way bad as I know that the life I have now is the life I will always have.

[@bellerophon5566]

Happy Saturnalia!

[@aidahhh]

It's crazy how much I relate to this.

[@scarletbagpipes5072]

1. Thank you for this video and articulating so well the feelings a lot of us have but can't name. 2. They...REALLY... like Les Mis...

[@peachxblue]

Wow, i love the negativity notebook idea!!

[@laylitsa622]

Not going to lie, i want to do an negativity notebook too but i still dont really understand it ...i...am my bigger bully too,like i hurt myself easier than others do,so this video in a sense...its perfect

[@macaylaelizabeth820]

This video really resonated with me. I have never thought of the word “disgust” to sum up my self image, but it fits perfectly. I struggled to push myself to go back and get my undergraduate and was ashamed when I realized I had to change majors because of how poorly I was performing in chemistry and biology (my majors at the time). I watch your videos and see an incredibly intelligent, radiant woman. I wish you saw that in yourself as well. Thank you for posting.

[@icaro_andstuff]

Be arrogant! Your work is great!

[@afreaknamedallie1707]

I had to take two attempts to watch this because I definitely over identified with the premise. I don't know that I can take your resolution approach, but it's definitely worth contemplating on as I have another year of just passing on the same handful of goals and resolutions into another handheld calendar.

[@MidnightMuse102]

13:57 thank you SO much for this video I kinda thought I was alone 🖤

[@Mr.Peetersen]

New Years Day is the worst holiday of the year It's up from there

[@SepulvedaBoulevard]

For me, it's pangs of guilt over trivial embarrassments and social faux pas in my earliest school years, when I had yet to learn basic manners and consideration of others. The feelings attack at random and I cringe to remember my five year old self adrift in the world, clueless and bewildered. Then I tell myself nobody else remembers that, and I move past it. Again and again, day after day, but I like to think I make incremental progress. Incremental is the key. Best wishes for your new endeavour❤

[@lucia7974]

Thanks for such an honest account of your negative thoughts. It does take a huge amount of courage to be willing and look inside our heads, to dedicate time to find out why we have been telling ourselves a particular narrative. So hats off, it is a wonderful project and look forward to your next videos. Remember also to be compassionate to yourself!

[@kimb884]

I’m kind of shocked at your thoughts in this video. I find you one of the most interesting and funny creators on KZbin. You’re very intelligent and have a great personality. Please know your audience and fans know this! I wish you knew this, too. Hugs.

[@leejacksondev]

I’m my own worst bully too. Never actually thought about it in that way. Thank you for sharing this. I need to work on my own self talk and self belief 😢

[@mezmarionybarra]

Love U And Ur Honesty 💓

[@slimlydan]

thank you so much for posting about this - this video has actually been a huge wake-up call for me. it turns out the million resolutions that i've made all tie back to exactly this.

[@brantleychevesx2]

Wishing you a very Happy New Year, Cinzia! Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us. You are so greatly appreciated!

[@teirantorres4588]

Cinzia, this is platinum(because gold is played out)! Once again you have addressed a venomous cycle myself and many others go through. I personally have struggled with this for years and I can’t even count the number of times it’s literally cost me something important. I think it’s a stellar idea to catalog your positive/negative inner dialogue. I’ve developed something similar where I write as if I’m two people debating on conflicting opinions. I even try to write differently to make it seem real lol. It has helped me work through a great deal. Don’t give up on your journey. You’ve made both intriguing informational content and outstanding inspirational content that so many can relate to. I for one feel uplifted knowing there’s another trudging on through this cerebral roller coaster we call life. Keep it up, you’re making an impact!

[@juliae.8237]

Have a happy new year Cinzia! You speak from an old soul and great insight. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

[@Azrael3141]

I needed to hear this. Thank you for your honesty and bravery.

[@danafoss3100]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! It is so relatable. I wish you lots of love and sparkels in the next year❤

[@Durmomo0]

Thank you for talking about the negative self talk. I do it *constantly* and its something I need to work on and its something I need to change about myself so its nice to have the reminder here. Another thing that I have experienced is when I do get positive attention (say for work or even at my birthday) I tend to feel guilt and like Im out of place while this is happening. "Waiting for the other shoe to drop" really hits the nail on the head of how I feel often. I dont usually make resolutions but I did really well in one of my goals last year and im hoping to continue it into 2024 so thats something I can kind of feel good about, though I do feel not great that im not at my goal yet. The odd part is I would *never* think these negative things about someone else who was in the same place as me or who looked like me, I would never even consider it...but when its myself I go in hard. Good luck on your project.

[@mariadaly4673]

Happy new year to you i love your videos and plan on looking after my mental health in 2024. After a very tough few years when i have the most helpless and hopeless i have ever felt i made the decision in August to take myself in hand and strive to mind myself and cut out everything that destroyed me human or otherwise and it has been the best decision i have ever made. Little changes and learning to love myself has changed me for the better and i will continue this in the new year ❤

[@winterburden]

Thank you so much Cinzia!

[@JemibookSews]

Thank you so much for your insight and words this year. You have been so helpful to give me perspective on things within my life this year.

[@adverbsLY]

thank you so much Cinzia, you hit the nail on the head! as someone with a history of low self-esteem, this year, i found it so easy to beat myself up over not achieving the things i set out to do and when i did achieve some of those things/exceeded my expectations i never really celebrated it or gave myself grace for it. i think it did come from a place of repulsion or disgust with myself. so it was so hard to see the wood for the trees beyond the negative thoughts i had about myself - most of which were my own and others were the internalising of other people's perceptions of me based on how they treated me vs. the way they did others. i had let others define my potential because it felt so much easier to be validated by others than it was for me to do so for myself. it was like, if i rejected myself then no-one could hurt me, similar to what you were saying about being your biggest bully. if that "well done" or "good job" came from me it meant so little, because at times, esp this year, i felt so little about myself. all this to say, thank you for the lightbulb moment!!

[@Everyday_Awes]

Your channel is one of my personal discoveries of the year. You are so genuine and relateble. Thank you for what you're doing and sharing with everyone. I love Inside Out. When I was in a psych hospital battling myself and my relationship to substance abuse they showed us that movie. And if you asked me if I can name the emotions that were there I would never have named disgust as one of them.

[@jrosales22]

Thank you for making videos. It’s almost refreshing to know someone else goes through a similar thought process even if we’re from different parts of the world. It makes me feel connected and less alone in trying to understand life. I hope you enjoy sharing your journey as I believe it brings comfort to many. Thanks again for being here ❤

[@tomispev]

I make New Year's resolutions in March, after Spring begins, so it's more like New Spring's resolutions. January is still dead of Winter, and the cold of February usually kills all my motivation. So I wait until life returns to the world and the warm days keep me going.

[@tanjamilenkovic1917]

You are so inspiring! Way to go!

[@jimbojimbo6873]

I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone this well spoken in my life

[@victoriawhite9215]

Wow! What a powerfully raw and honest video! Thank you so much for sharing something so personal with us - I think a lot of people will resonate with this. I am sending you every best wish for a year filled with kinder self-talk, and the ultimate realisation that the kind things you tell yourself are actually true. I can't even fathom how you manage to successfully juggle running a business, 2 KZbin channels, and study for a PHD all at the same time. I think it would overwhelm lots of people but you are doing it every day and still managing to connect with your audience on a very real level. Sending you and your loved ones lots of joy this New Year. Xx

[@majab3697]

Thank you for this video... I really needed this after a turbulent year that 2023 was. And I know what you are talking about... all the self-doubt, all the intrusive thoughts, all the tears I shed because I've seen myself as a failure who will never have money or a career are not going away so easily 😔 and on top of that, hearing similar words from your closest family only can make things wore (much worse). So, you sharing this experience is giving me hope, that I can try do things better, not everything is lost just because at the moment is hard. Today is not forever 😌 keep up these videos, love your channel, love your mindset 🧡

[@AnnieNoodle]

As a person who went down this path a few years ago, countering all of my negative thoughts about myself with positive ones, I want to say good for you. It's hard, but very worth it. I also just wanted to say (and maybe this was part of explaining your negative thoughts, but just in case...) telling yourself you're not where you "should be" is definitely a form of bullying yourself. The path you're on is an important one, even if it's not as straightforward as you were thinking it would be. Focus all of your amazing energy at being hyped about what you've accomplished so far, because you have worked hardand deserve that recognition from yourself. This is something I'm still working on myself. I'm doing great, and there's nothing good that comes out of telling myself I should be further, I should be better, etc. And thank you for another lovely, thought provoking video. ❤

[@Pogmothoin17]

I found your description of your thoughts that you have about yourself really insightful. As somebody who doesn’t think that way but with friends who do, it was very useful to help understand them through you.

[@kzwzbjm]

Hun I look up to you so much. You are wonderful in all the ways ❤️ I wish you all the best this new year.

[@krisskross8985]

I keep coming back to your videos because I learn so much about what I need to do for myself from your great ideas. I also would like to research "why" we treat ourselves so poorly. In reading the comments it seems like an epidemic. I think it's a great challenge to all of us. It sure can't hurt any more than we hurt ourselves. In my opinion you are an inspiring, beautiful, mindful person!

[@maryhornsby9441]

Well, I think your videos are fantastic and informative and entertaining. I look forward to seeing you learn to be kinder to yourself and seeing yourself as your followers do!

[@TheKristianemil]

I recently did something much less structured but similar to this and it has played a big role in becoming happy to be where i am in my life right now and i hope it does for you as well. In my experience the positives really do become easier to find, and when you become good at noticing the negatives in the moment they feel less true.

[@alsoulmusic]

I generally don’t do New Year resolutions but, Cinzia, I think your resolution is the most important one to have. I realized how tough I was on myself and how my friends were so tough on themselves and I set out to change that. For me it was the realization that I wasn’t helping myself any by tearing myself down. There was no way I could do the thing (whatever it was) with myself in the way. Also, logically speaking, I would never treat a friend the way I was treating myself so I was being hypocritical. I am all about treating others with respect. If that is really true I also need to treat myself that way too. I still don’t do well with complements and I am upset when I screw things up. I realized that the action of screwing up doesn’t have to automatically lead to me berating myself. They are two separate things that always seem intertwined. Cinzia, I see so much of myself in you. I tend to feel connected to people who seem to understand my experience. The funny thing is when I started watching your first video I thought: “She is pretty and Smart and she doesn’t have the issue I have expressing myself”. I find myself wishing that people that I relate two give themselves grace and I am pissed at the world that made you think that you are not good enough just as you are right now.