how a NERD learned to LOVE exercise

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WHO AM I?
Hey there, I’m Cinzia DuBois. I’m a part-time, self-funded PhD student and KZbinr, Podcaster and writer. I’ve been creating videos for over thirteen years. I discuss productivity, personal development, PhD, academia and mental well-being on this channel. On my main channel, I talk about all things dark and ancient history, literature and folklore.

[@karic.1743]

Girl you look beautiful without make up, as another follower mentioned “we are our own worst critics.” It’s beautiful that you’re taking care of yourself and are aware of your challenges.

[@FarahRoseSmith]

I appreciate this video a lot. I stopped going to my gym because I kept overhearing men calling me ugly - out loud - which made sense given that my gym is one full of influencers with a lot of enhancements (which is fine!), but my face is partially disfigured... definitely not this era's definition of pretty. Anyway, this is helpful!

[@atuvera9021]

I hope you are able to go back to do what you want again. I've heard this before about feeling down and hopeless: "life harshness is everywhere, facing meaningless hatred and cruelty is an act of rebellion for the sake of honoring the miracle of existing kindly in this dark world" This changed my life forever.

[@fiethsing9988]

One of the main reasons I bought my own gym equipment (that I share with my sister now). People nowadays think that the gym is the place to socialize and post tiktoks making fun of those trying to improve their health. If possible look into acquiring your own stuff to exercise at home. I started with a cheap threadmill, a barbell and a pair of dumbells.

[@colbyboucher6391]

It's obnoxious how there's seemingly no happy medium between letting people be as awful as they want at the gym and Planet Fitness "uh oh, you dropped that too hard, lunk alert" stuff.

[@kathrynmcnerney6490]

You look beautiful in your photo, but I hope you don't let some arseholes at the gym stop you from doing something for your health ❤

[@katec9893]

I am so shocked and horrified you experienced that. The cruelty of those men is totally unacceptable. If it were me I would let the reception/manager know by email, since that's public abuse/harassment/bullying and I'm sure the gym managers would be horrified if they knew that was happening in their gym as those men are no doubt bullying other gym members. I would also look for another more friendly less poserish gym and absolutely do not let those neanderthals put you off exercise. You're attractive so they're wrong too, but whatever anyone looks like, all of us are equal and none of us should have to deal with being treated like that.

[@atuvera9021]

Funny how we see ourselves so bad but others find you absolutely flawless. I would kill to look like you. I stopped working out due to depression but i wanna start again, i felt so well because i was doing something for me. I hope everyone is having a nice end of the year and that we are able to be kinder to our bodies.

[@Lady-Y]

This, like, as a closeted trans woman? She is (as respectfully as I can say this) a 10/10 smokeshow, like, I’m intimidated by comparison.

[@mastersalamander3048]

I also stopped due to depression. And it was only a few weeks ago I finally bought a gym membership! And I just am not going. It's hard

[@bacul165]

@@mastersalamander3048 Just a tought from me: You put an exclamation mark after you said you bought a membership. So you still feel excited about it! That's a great foundation already! Maybe you can try and plan a visit there before you go to work or shopping or something, not to work out just to check where to park, how the changing room is looking and stuff like that, maybe ask reception what times are least busy. To me, that would take away quite a lot of anxiety before actually daring to go to the gym to work out. Either way I hope you have a good day!

[@spas.68]

I actually go to the gym to fight the depression. Heavy exercise is the best cure to free my mind from the dark thoughts. Your brain is releasing a lot of dopamine after a heavy physical activity, it is rewarding you for being physically tired.

[@anjosfate]

Wow! You gave a very good advice here. Very perceptive, Bacul ​@@bacul165

[@trozaach]

Speaking as a guy who has been a regular in the gym for over a decade; I just wanted to say, well done! Regular trips to the gym to maintain your health puts you in a better position than most people out there. It might be nice for the younger guys to see influencer types in the gym in their matching outfits, but what impresses me is people who come into the gym regularly, and know what they’re doing. No silly exercises. No posing. Just quietly getting on with a solid routine. And I’d also say not to worry about continual progressive overload. You don’t always need to get faster or stronger (although this does give a nice sense of accomplishment). If you’re in pain, you’re doing it wrong. Strain is good. Pain is bad. So, please keep up the good work, on KZbin and in the gym.

[@JL-ti3us]

Cinzia, thank you for being such a candid motivator to all of us who share your struggles in life.

[@lesliemoiseauthor]

💯

[@Kevin_the_Caveman]

It's a bit scary how much I have in common with her But it's less scary knowing there's more of us 🤗

[@JL-ti3us]

@@Kevin_the_Caveman how we all feel😂🤗my neolithic friend

[@SizzleCorndog]

Gotta love childhood habits/ trauma coming back to prevent us from becoming better adults. It’s so hard for me to work out without another person bc I grew up playing soccer so I was always used to having someone to work with and compete against and now I can’t really get engaged by the gym and doing just weights

[@Ordos20]

We are our own worst critics. Seeing the glimpses of your work out -- you look absolutely fine. But I recognize this. Having been married once before, and having a lovely wife again, I still hate my image in the mirror (while she thinks I am really handsome). This will not fade, but it will get bearable over time. But really good you are setting goals and getting it done in your own fashion. Good work! And keep at it!

[@Robofussin23]

As a early 30s male from the US this video helps lol. Its crazy but when I go to the gym and i feel like nothing fits right and my legs and arms look bad, I just have to act like nothing bothers me and It can feel overwhelming. I think what helped me is that I just imagine i'm training for some sort military and I just focus on my current workout, be it jogging or dumbbell lifts whatever, just zone out and forget everyone else. The punishment thing about what you look like is spot on, its crazy because i've been told I'm tall and attractive, but seriously, early school bullying really can mold your entire self image.

[@FamilyFriendlyGaming]

I am in my early fifties and have been working out since I was sixteen. I have worked out in a plethora of different gyms over these decades. I respect anyone that goes to the gym and works out in any way, shape or form. I have seen people that are buff, and people that are way out of shape. I respect anyone that shows up, and puts in the effort. Honestly I do not judge anyone else, and do not care what they look like. I care that they put forth some effort to exercise. My motivation is to get healthier so I hopefully live longer.

[@quebrandojogos]

I've learned to love the gym by going at it until I saw the tiniest of results, took me 3 months, then I realized how much I can change if keep this up, 2 years later and now I even get compliments on my appearance, I can finally love what I see in the mirror.

[@majikalmcmuffin6258]

Jeez, this was really relatable to me. I felt like saying “my gosh you are really beautiful as you are” and i meant it but it made me think about how when anyone would say that I wasn’t fat or unattractive I wouldn’t believe it. Being a fat kid made my body feel so seen, but how i felt, so invisible. Disgust motivates me but im always disgusted no matter how far i push and lose. i realise that no one else is looking at me anymore but at some point you take on the responsibility of their judgement yourself.

[@Su-ri5ob]

Finding exercise you actually enjoy is important, at least it is for me. For me it's swimming, now I'm not a good swimmer and definitely not a fast one, but I love how it makes me feel and it is absolutely the only place where my mind is still. The bonuses include, once in the water no one can see your body and for me the pool is only a 10 minute walk away.

[@alsoulmusic]

It breaks my heart to hear about how much turmoil you have gone through to do something good for your body. I relate so deeply about having a negative view of my appearance but I recognize that as a man it is different. Most of my life I have pushed the thought of attractiveness so deep inside to make it more manageable. When I hear you and people in the comments speak about this makes me want to gather everyone and give them a big hug and all of you know that you are worthy. Cinzia, you are beautiful! You don't need to look like a gym influencer. You being you is more than enough.

[@LightHolmes]

You can't be more relatable omg Thank you for covering these topics

[@sooozannah33]

I can relate to the gym anxiety and near ptsd from school bullying around physical appearance. However, I think you look great, especially when you're not hiding under the big grey sweatshirt. You look like you have a decent amount of muscle too!

[@carnation963]

I love changing your mindset on fitness. Creating a fantasy reason for getting fit is such a creative way of tackling working out. I would love to use this concept! I started working out recently in my 40s and I can’t workout at gyms. So I opted for purchasing a few weights and walking each day. You’ve inspired me to go into adventure mode and also give my inner child some fun.♥️

[@besteven]

"...an Edwardian Indiana Jones..." Hilarious--but an awesome approach!

[@Gravelgratious]

Going to the gym though anxiety inducing for me always leaves me feeling fulfilled and ready to face the day. The gym should never feel like a task or contest, it's about connecting with and maintaining oneself. Cinzia's audio-book method is an idea worth stealing!

[@anastasiabondsfield1709]

This video really spoke to me! I grew up dancing and begun to struggle with an eating disorder during my teenage years. After years of work on my perception of my body during exercise, I no longer dread the camera! I feel more confidence being overweight and performing than when underweight, the mindset is everything! 🥰

[@EmperorNorton668]

With the help of audio books, I conditioned myself to go on walks regularly. Maybe finding a fantasy reason will help me work out in other ways. Thank you for that idea.

[@mccolk]

This is so motivating and inspiring! I was bullied for being a nerd in High School and it put me off of working out at the gym for the same reasons. I didn't want to have people watch me working out or see my own reflection in all the mirrors. I love the Victorian female Indiana Jones narrative for workout inspo and counting workout hours in Audio books.

[@JohnABrownTheWriter]

Cinzia--another fine video. I'm always moved by your sincerity and transparency, which you transmute into selflessness here on this forum to dispense wonderful, useful advice to the "similarly situated." Unabashed authenticity is incredibly rare in these times of conformist, plastic personae (your remarks at the start about the perfect "gym people" are spot on) fostered by the buccaneering of mass-market hucksters and the sinister, self-perpetuating void of social media (I too disconnected, only having gotten involved in the mistaken belief that it would "build an audience" for my writing--that bromide is simply a trap for the unwary--disconnection is liberation--the Johann Hari book you recommend is marvelous!). You're a singular woman in all respects, Cinzia: brilliant in mind, compassionate in heart, and lovely in visage. Keep fighting, keep smiling, and as always--keep reading!😀

[@cealvert_]

Some of the reasons you mentioned are why I always try to go to the gym after midnight despite working a 9 to 5. Thank you for the brutal honesty and tips. Keep it up.

[@sruthisuresh2852]

Ngl I would read a comic book version of an Edwardian Indiana Jones who hunts tomb raiders

[@chromatika67]

as an avid female weightlifter who loves the gym, im so proud of you!!

[@lethalchicken1173]

I love number 2! Fantasy motivations are a great idea. It's easier to play a role than to bring my defenseless-feeling self to the gym. I hate feeling stared at, or even perceived. I, too, have left the gym many times near tears, only to break down once in my car. Going to try this.

[@sophianachtigall3598]

I live in Germany, and we have here something like a gym for old people. It is actually center for physical therapy and it has gym. Everyone is welcome here but most people are elderly. And as it is in my street, I also go there. Great place if you have issues that you just named. Elderly people are very nice, not competitive and they just want to extend their ability to walk without wheels.

[@thechaosvibration1181]

As a dork i went through a big fitness binge, until i realized it wasnt really correlated to rest of my life. I cut back some contemplated quitting, but realized there was a cortelation vetween my exercise and mental clarity when reading and doing other things. As I about as introverted and apathetic as thy come this was the sole real to keep going, with a much more obtainable schedule, and routine

[@michaelpuckering6155]

I used to have major self confidence issues, which came from a rough child hood. I suffered with this for most of my life, even at a time where I worked in retail and scuba dived so I was ultra fit, strong and had abs, but I still hated my body and how I looked. A while after that, I tried psilocybin. I was expecting a deep semi spiritual trip where I would understand what was wrong with me... But instead I stood up while on the trip, looked down at myself, and had an intense feeling of self acceptance. Just "You're ok, you're actually not so bad" It was as if I'd lived my life deep under water, and for the first time I'd come to the surface. I felt the pressure I'd placed on myself lift instantly.

[@lesliemoiseauthor]

Thank you for your transparency. I'm so happy that exercise has started to feel good for you. ❤ I ADORE your fantasy motivation! Doing what you can today is absolutely valid

[@ZeusWeusFilm]

Never failing to provide good natured guidance and motivation 💪😎

[@Quan10Mack]

My issue with the gym is the high cost, but that's normal everywhere. Otherwise, I say normalize helping each other feel better about their appearance so we don't dread being seen by others.

[@krisoliveira9756]

This was so lovely to watch. You're doing amazing, Cinzia, this is a very mature and realistic approach to exercises, very helpful for anyone in a fitness journey. Overcoming the daily struggles and challenges of working out is the true key to progress, of both body and mind. Keep being great, you're an inspiration for a lot of people by sharing this!

[@TheoWasHere2]

My gym offers free stickers, so I dedicated a page in my journal to put those stickers in. So for the year, during every gym visit I'll take a sticker and put it on that page. That's a fun thing to do.

[@alicias.8482]

You are really challenging your comfort levels lately! I love your content, whether it's creepy, classics, or your personal journey. ❤

[@maddys3955]

Great video! I’ve been listening to audiobooks too on my morning jog. Currently listening to “Count of Monte Cristo” and it’s super long and detailed so quite the accomplishment 😂😅 I think so audiobooks are a great idea 💡

[@emilylouise9705]

Love this video - I think it's going to help a lot of people! My two cents is that I struggled a lot with similar insecurities as you describe (you absolutely hit the nail on the head about the insults made by school bullies sticking with you for years and years), and I only started to enjoy going to the gym and exercising once I stopped focusing on how I looked and started focusing on how my body felt - for instance, "Do I feel tired/energetic today?", "Do I feel strong?", "Am I recovering from being out of breath slower/faster than usual?" etc. Trying to focus on what my body is functionally *doing* and how that's making it feel. That was a real mindset shift that took a while to cultivate, but it's helped me no end because it really took some of the emotional side out of going to the gym. My attitude is now very much like "I am at the gym because I have a body, and I would like this body to be stronger, and therefore I must complete these exercises". Working with a coach absolutely helped me enormously, also - she helped me heaps with goal setting and getting me to focus on things like good form.

[@nocturnus009]

Thank you for sharing, as someone that has found my jam with Apple Fitness+ I have been blown away by just how little was needed when consistently is maintained. With workouts being present to the [in my case daily] muster line matters. It’s like Sisyphus matters as much if not more than Achilles or Odysseus.

[@mezmarionybarra]

Oh my goodness, thank you as always. The fantasy made up story line. As motivation is brilliant❣️. Oh my gosh, I'm so doing that. Love you and your shares❣️ You Precious heart blessings for you and your fur little's.

[@cowco80]

You're always posting exactly what I'm thinking about. A few months ago I was very into planning my no buy year when you poster your no buy video. Then I was feeling so overwhelmed by online content consumption and then again, your video on binge-watching. Now that my goal is finding an exercise I love, you come up with this 💗 thank you, the synchronicity is scaring me

[@millymollymrst3537]

Cinzia i just want you to know that you look amazing. I know how you feel though as im the same and it doesnt matter how many times people say you look great you cant accept it.😊

[@jefferyjones8399]

I appreciate your honesty and sense of humor. Thank you for these great videos.

[@coffeederry]

I've also started exercising recently, and i've already faced some troubles with it, but your video helped me so much with this!

[@studiobrereton]

I felt exactly like how you describe your experience up until 2022, i got serious about exercising for me, and i did it my way. There was no sexy posing, routines or instagram stories, just healthy exercise and food to benefit my mind and body health. I still don't fit in, but i'm happy with not fitting in. Merry Christmas, have a great 2024.

[@juancamilocalvache451]

Audiobooks on the gym is something great. Really worked for me

[@Everyday_Awes]

I'm really happy for you ! I'm very selfconscious too, hence never went to the gym, just working out at home, but this was authentically inspiring.

[@tob4643]

What a wonderful video Cinzia. This was honestly the most relatable one I've seen from you thus far. I adore the act of exercising/going to the gym and it does numbers for all of our well-beings universally. Body image has also been an issue for me too especially in my upbringing. I was one like many others who was bullied for their extra weight which took a toll considering I didn't know how to navigate life when I was still adapting to myself and the world being on the spectrum and even in regards to the present, you tend to get rather unrealistic body standards being portrayed on social media to contrast with the past. But in spite of it all at 21, I'm proud of myself with the slow but consistent process I've made in the past couple years, which I wouldn't trade for anything, and I'm also proud of you and the steps you've taken to combat your beliefs (the 2nd step in particular made my heart melt). Keep persevering. Trust in your process and don't look back. ❤️ Btw I hope you (+ your dogs!) had a Merry Christmas. :)

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you again, Tob! hope you had a lovely Christmas too

[@tob4643]

@@SelfHelpShelf It was undeniably merry, to say the least, but good times were definitely had and I left the new year feeling optimistic for bigger/better things to come and desiring to get back on track to becoming the person I want to be. Lovely indeed. :) I stg I'm a couple videos away from pledging to the patreon because you are doing god's work. I anticipate to whatever you have in store for this year. ❤️

[@sushileeloo1733]

I love the idea of creating a fantasy reason for getting fit! Will you use that from now on 🧡

[@jnsnj1]

I know how everyone sees themselves is different than others see them. But you’re so pretty, it breaks my heart to hear you talk about yourself like this.

[@mitakeet]

Regularly exercise (20-30 minutes of moderate activity 3-4 times a week) can add 5-7 years to your 'healthspan,' and for that reason alone should be motivating. Also, stop comparing yourself with others. It's essentially a guarantee that there are people out there that will find you irresistibly attractive no matter what you look like. That said, you're well within the criteria the average person finds attractive.

[@theandreabyor]

Hello. We have the same struggle! I live hoy you're so open and honest about this. I struggle a lot too. Therefore the reason I have not uploaded any videos at all. I love to move my body, I also was a dancer for a long time. Until I gained weight and feel it all is worthless. I want to go back to the gym. Or dance classes. It is just so hard!!

[@pjsines4705]

Fantastic perspective! Thank you for sharing! BTW, WOT gets better towards the middle then drags a bit before Brandon Sanderson offers a strong finish.

[@MB-tc6rt]

Cinzia, I'm a fairly jacked guy and IMO you're perfectly fine, making an effort is super hot! The farther you get along your 'fitness journey', the less it becomes about looks and more about your character. Keep with it and you'll keep seeing the benefits everyday. :)

[@DemonTom]

The videos you make really connect with me. I am also someone who works from home (Due to health issues), and faces much of what you speak to in your videos. Your advice makes sense is logical to me, and is delivered in a way that leaves a little glint in my eye and a pep in my step when I'm done. So Thank you, Cin. Thank you very much for what you do.

[@ericschantz4275]

Another great video, Cinzia! Once again, you describe much of my own experience. I hate the gyms we have here, with a million people working out, music that is way too loud, and lights that are way too bright. Sensory overload doesn't begin to describe it for me. Great tips to start working out again! Thanks.

[@randomdude71kwnd]

Love the video and your channel. One thing I'd like to add is that exercise specifically cardio definitely helps with your phd because of better blood flow to the brain and the release of brain derived neuro tropic factor (bdnf). I hope this helps someone be even more motivated to work out.

[@mc-wd9yy]

i just love how openly you talk about your gym journey. your video motivated me to renew my gym membership starting tomorrow 🎉

[@Holdfast-]

As someone who lives in the gym, you look totally fine. The lifting gloves are a bit dorky but that's just a preference thing I guess

[@robcreel4257]

What a very unique approach to working out. Good job! Find something to motivate you to working is a great way to stay with it.

[@uncagedpine9589]

I did calisthenics for anvery long time. Probably around 4 years, nd this last year i bought myself a home gym. I workout alone in my pajamas. That makes it 10x more fun for me.

[@brantleychevesx2]

LOVE your channel! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life. You are greatly appreciated!!

[@SuperbFairy]

love all your videos Cin! Hope you had a lovely christmas

[@KaraHpersonaltrainer]

This is fantastic! Amazing job, Cinzia~

[@JamesAnderson-vf4go]

Thoroughly relatable - especially the school PE.

[@emmelinesprig489]

WOWOWOW love this advice sooooo much. I also have a stocky body type and severe social anxiety. A few years ago, I did manage to develop a movement routine using youtube videos at home. I stopped at the beginning of the pandemonium, even though I could have just continued doing home workouts, but the reason was because of the unrealistic standards I set for myself. Thanks for sharing for this great, relatable perspective shift!!

[@winterburden]

Thank you so much Cinzia! I would never go to a gym, but I do like walking and hiking.

[@workingdogslog3442]

I love this outlook you’re. Very relatable

[@RavynAli]

I appreciate your openness! I am also very self conscious about my looks and also hate putting myself on display at gyms and such. Not that my opinion matters, but I think you are beautiful and I love your classic appearance. You always look so polished and refined. You inspire me ☺️

[@84Actionjack]

I found 'The Great Courses' lectures in history, music and science were great for long aerobic exercises. I watched them on a big screen while spinning, skiiing, or on elliptical machines.

[@jessi5924]

*watches three videos* The amount of times I relate to you and how much I already love your style and personality is ridiculous. 😂 In this video, your thoughts, feelings and ways to cope (the fantasy goal for your workouts in particular) are almost exactly the way I have felt, thought and coped. Thank you for sharing.

[@laramaffeipierobon8842]

0:54 as you were saying you don't like the way o look at the gym, my exact thoughts were "omg, she looks SO COOL".

[@peachxblue]

Edwardian Indiana Jones, ACTIVATE!!! 🎉🎉🎉I love that SO much. I’m going to think of that, too!!! 😊❤ For me, I struggled with an eating disorder and hating my body for years, until I found sport, where being strong (vs thin) helped me eat more and feel good. However, then I got into a pilates teacher training course filled with former professional dancers (no hate to dancers, just saying this to say they carried forward a focus on performance and perfectionsm into teaching pilates for the masses), & I basically did zero exercise (except press play on Netflix lol) since July 1, because I found this particular pilates SOO extremely stressful and triggering. I would literally spend the whole day doing nothing but feeling anxiety before and after the sessions, bc they were SO focused on perfectionism, and even when I’d say, “I don’t like being touched,” the teachers would constantly touch me and poke me in all areas while I was doing the movements. It was 50 minutes of pure hell. So I quit and was so terrified of gyms in their entirety, tbh, when it used to be a nice place to destress - I would focus on having fun, enjoying the music (of which there was none during these perfectionistic pilates sessions…), etc. I’m FINALLY starting going back to the gym, even tho it sorta gives me a PTSD like feeling walking in the doors! Pilates CAN actually be very trauma-informed and soothing for the nervous system bc it’s often the same movements repeated day after day in the same order, but like you, I prefer doing it solo or in a group of 20 people (where I get less teacher attention and poking etc), so hopefully I’ll heal and be able to do pilates the way I used to love it! This is such a great video, thank you!!

[@peachxblue]

Oh and I’ve also started listening to audiobooks while working out at the gym, bc it gives me brain fuel!! I’m an endurance athlete, when I’m not traumatized by pilates and doing nothing but watching Netflix lol, so it’s a lot of time at the gym, and I enjoy the brain engagement of them, I love music but it gets boring over time. However when I exercise outdoors, it’s always just the sounds of nature 😊

[@rayneljred]

You always make me chuckle. I like your sense of humor. 😊

[@BruceLeon83]

Lately your videos about just general life "stuff" has been smashin'. Probably because they're so open and relatable. Nice. I've had a lot of the same thoughts on this topic.

[@balletlau]

Thank you for the idea of listening to audio books - such a great way to motivate myself to do the exercises given to me by my physiotherapist.

[@Grunfeld]

Love this. Thank you.

[@ccrider374]

Cinziana Jones! Keep up the good works you are doing. Im proud of you!

[@debmacie1612]

Hi Cinzia. I love your videos very much. As a Highly Sensitive Person who has trouble being around people, noises, smells and, well, life in general, I love how inspirational you are for me. I started watching you with your no buy year video and you transformed my life. I added Swedish Death Cleaning as an annual event (I’m in my senior years now) as a gift to my kids. And now I’m thinking I might get into some exercise too!

[@mangisty1007]

That is why I like to work out at home!

[@BigV24]

It definitely helps mastering the exercises and getting over the gym anxiety once you know you’re competent. The only downside is there’s so much more equipment at the gym.

[@bimbobaggins4521]

Watching this just as I was trying to convince myself to go to the gym. You inspired me! I'll be going after lunch.

[@dominicblakeartwriter]

OMG Cinzia, the narrative you developed (from around 6 mins in) was *so* perfect); I used to intern in the press office at the BM and felt then and continue to feel completely sympathetic with your perspective!! Beyond that, thanks so much for your inspirational words again... Dominic :)

[@ninefablesfox4872]

“Like buying stationery to go back to school” - I completely agree with this analogy! I started following you because of your no-buy content so I’m so glad you mentioned this pressure to look beautiful in the gym influencing buying decisions, a lot of my buying decisions are related to wanting to look more beautiful to match what I see online. I’m sorry to hear you feel so self-conscious, many others have already said it but you really don’t need to be - what you see is not what others see. And I love the story you tell yourself, I try to tell myself something like this, but not so elaborate - your story is definitely more creative. I tell myself I’m a scientist here to observe myself and my reactions - which is something borrowed from a psychologist, that everything is a data point and can mean something but we need to collect more evidence to prove/disprove what we think we know. Anyway! Great videos. Thanks for sharing 😊

[@macsarcule]

I’m so glad you shared this, it’s incredibly brave to share some of the stuff we’re most struggling with, and so refreshingly honest, thank you! Co-pilot sounds great, I’m not nearly brave enough to try it, but it gave me something to consider. As a male, the “cute” gym girls are deterrent in a similar way. I so don’t want to schlep my gross self into a gym full of people who look like they walked out of a fitness magazine. It’s just a reminder how far I am from that and will never attain that, and it’s so easy to imagine a commentary of complete contempt they might about you even being there (that’s in my head, I know, but imagination is powerful). The fantasy reason for exercise: BRILLIANT! I immediately started trying on different versions of my own reason, brilliant!

[@mikemahaffey9121]

Very informative vid Miss Cinzia. Keep it up.

[@charliemei88]

Thank you for this video, I wish more creators were this candid about their struggles. Yes to the audio books! I love music but if I’m not feeling it it can really throw me off my work out, so I tend to always listen to audiobooks when I train too! I love the idea of using the accumulated audio book hours as a little goal, I’m going to try that!

[@lauissilence3593]

Hello, you make cool videos they really calm me down when i feel panic or sadness. Just want to say thank you :)

[@highboy72]

Cinzia, I think you look great, don't be ashamed of anything. be proud, you are working out you are improving your health both body and mind. keep up the good work.

[@Dellabricks]

Dont even get me started on the navy blue long-sleeved leotards on gymnastics day at school 😂

[@matthemming9105]

Excellent motivational story!

[@SuzOfNine]

LOL, I was a bad-ass assassin who needed to train weights and agility to do ninja parkour all over Gotham City and also train with Rocky Balboa. It worked so well I lost 65lbs and got to my goal weight, my reward for getting to goal was buying a gym membership! 😂❤

[@nobbynoris]

Loved this video. Good luck to you, girl.

[@CrysolasChymera2117]

You're beautiful ❤ from someone feeling the same who really thinks that you're beautifully nerdy even going to the gym, have a nice day and keep training, we'll do the same! Thanks a lot for sharing your experience!

[@teaoclock9080]

Coming up with a reason to go other than "it's good for my health" was definitely a turning point for me! In my case, it was "I want to be able to do at least some of the things my D&D characters can do" - learning to do magic was out, and dabbling in medieval reenactment years ago put me off weapon training, so I decided that being able to carry/throw things really well and/or having the endurance to walk for days was the way to go. I made a playlist of songs that fit the "fantasy character training montage" vibe and started figuring things out from there. It's taken a while to get settled in, I'm still not 100% consistent and I have setbacks sometimes, but that mindset shift was a huge step forward!

[@Finvarra]

Trunchballmaxxing is a good mental strategy to get comfortable with yourself, by taking on the mindset "would SHE give a ****?" and getting on with it. You wont need to worry about looking good, because the more you remind people and yourself of Trunchball the better you are doing.

[@laca103]

You are far more inspiring than the so called gym-fluncers. It is easy to look fit when this is one's work... These influencers could never inspire me, because they don't have to juggle between a sedentary 9-5 job, 24/7 family responsibilities, hordes of demons regarding ones body .... and very nerdy hobbies. You and the Math Sorcerer are the most inspiring characters in fitness for me!

[@kathrynmcnerney6490]

Thank you for this video as i feel insecure going back to the gym.

[@Rebelfairytales]

You are beautiful. ❤ childhood bullying really does cause difficulties for us.

[@Kevin_the_Caveman]

Also I'd binge watch the hell out of Cinzia the Edwardian Artifact Vigilante 💪

[@paulinemoira8442]

I'm so happy you made this video. Growing up I always thought, "Once I lose all my weight, I'm gonna go to the gym.". Except I didn't lose weight for obvious reasons. It took me a surgery and a full year without being allowed any kind of exercise to appreciate not just sport, but "real" workouts. Also that fantasy reason is so real. Once I'm a bit stronger I'm going to tame a pet dragon a fight against evil ninja demon people. Glad I'm not the only one.

[@Lunaleodrune]

Cinzia I couldn't relate to this more! I've never heard anyone else talk about this, I love the idea of a fantasy motivation. As a previously overweight and nerdy teen it's been tough to try and shake that as an adult. I've also been watching your no-buy videos and I realise that often the reason I spend is to try and cover up these feelings. I recently spent a fortune on gym gear because of comparing myself to those beautiful girls I see in the gym with their slick hair, matching cropped sets and airpods. And guess what... I still don't look like them and I feel the same! It's a good lesson. I looked myself in the mirror one time recently in the gym and said to myself - you are not like them and that's okay. There are plenty of people like you in the world too, you're not alone and you're allowed to not look like the 'fitfluencer' folk.